Wake Up My Love
by ocealyn
Summary: Edward Cullen has loved his best friend, Isabella Swan for as long as he can remember. On the day he had planned to confess his feelings, she ran into a terrible car accident and ended up in a Coma. How will Edward react? Will Fate bring her back to him?
1. Comatose

Summary: Edward Cullen has loved his best friend, Isabella Swan for as long as he can remember. On the day he had planned to tell her, she ran into a terrible car accident and ended up in a coma. How will Edward react? Will fate bring her back to him?

**Romance/ Hurt/ Friendship**

**Okie… Here's another story I just suddenly came up with. :) **

**Let me know what you guys think!**

**Here Goes…**

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**Chapter 1: Comatose**

**Date: August 3, 2007 (Friday)**

**Edward's POV**

I looked at my clock for what seemed like the hundredth time tonight. 7:10pm.

I let out a gush of air that I realized I've been holding in and fell backwards into my bed.

I was so nervous I felt like my heart could explode! I pinched the bridge of my nose as I stared at the ceiling of my room, waiting for her.

I've both been dreading and waiting impatiently for this day for several years now. But I told myself that it was now or never.

Today is the day I'm going to tell Isabella Swan, my life-long best friend, that I love her.

Our parents always joked to themselves that we'd end up together one day. I secretly hoped that we would too. We've known each other ever since diapers. She is the only woman I could ever imagine spending the rest of my life with.

I looked at the clock again… 7:13. Gah! Time couldn't come fast enough! It was like the father of time was torturing me. I had to get this over with.

I realized at the beginning of the summer that this season was the perfect time to tell her the truth because in a couple of months we'd be heading off to College. I'd be going to UW Medical School and she'd be at Seattle College. We wouldn't be able to see each other everyday but I was thankful that our Colleges weren't too far apart. I don't think I could go on a week without seeing her anymore. But now I've reached the middle of the vacation and I still haven't confessed.

But today is different! I had everything planned out!

It was a Friday night, which means Bella would be getting off her job around this time and climb in through my room window. It was a weekly routine for us. On every other day, we'd go climb each other's window if either of us simply needed company or needed help, etc etc. I chuckled at the thought of Bella and I meeting each other several times halfway to each other's houses wearing nothing but PJ's, slippers and a blanket wrapped around us. On those days, we would always sleep on the same bed either hers or mine then we'd get up early in the morning to sneak back in our houses to avoid getting caught. However, I was sure that our parents already knew of this.

But on a Friday, it was Bella who'd always come into my room.

I smiled as I reminisced the day this weekly routine started. We were 11 years old then.

**11yearsold11yearsold11yearsold….**

_It was a Friday night and I climbed into Bella's window a little earlier but now we were both walking towards my house._

"_Why do we have to go to my room?" I whined. I liked Bella's room. It was always so cluttered with her books and had a sweet pleasant smell._

"_Because it's a lot more fun to start the weekend there, you have a lot more 'gizmo's' and more space." She explained firmly._

_My eyebrow arched. "It's not even the start of the weekend yet."_

"_Oh quit your whining. You know what I mean. This night is the start of a short time we wouldn't have to worry about homework or school. It's much more fun to waste away in your room." She said while looking at the sidewalk._

_Huh? I thought. "I don't get it." I said._

"_Edward." She laughed and shook her head. "You're such an airhead sometimes!" _

_I gave her an irritated look, "I am not!" I protested._

_She just smiled and ruffled my hair to make it even messier. It's a habit of hers to ruffle my hair. It was always so disheveled that sometimes she'd make fun of it. But I didn't mind. I like it when she does that. _

"_Let's just make a pact ok!" she said then stopped walking to face me. "On every other day we can both visit each other's rooms on any occasion and on any time BUT," she pointed out, "Every Friday night, it's me who has to visit your room! Okay?" _

_I chuckled. Bella always did make weird pacts with me. I just shrugged my shoulders. "Okay, Deal. I don't see the point though." I said as I pinky sweared with her._

_She rolled her eyes playfully at me then walked ahead. "You ARE such an airhead sometimes!" She teased._

"_I am not!" I protested again as I ran to catch up to her. _

_We ended up in a race to my house, both of us laughing and tugging at each other. I won of course! As we reached my house, I raised my fist in triumph. "Yeah! The Champion is still the Champion!!"_

_Bella laughed as she stopped in front of me resting her hands on her knees. I always loved hearing Bella laugh. It was terribly contagious. _

"_I will beat you one day Edward Cullen!" she sniggered. _

_We came up to my room and had fun for the rest of the Friday night._

**PresentPresentPresent…**

'Well' I thought. She never really did beat me at racing. I was always the fast one. But there was one time I let her win, she knew me better than that though. She smacked me hard in the arm when I did that. I had a red mark in my arm for a few days.

Now every Friday night, I'd wait for Bella to climb in through my window and we'd spend the whole night together.

I sighed happily at all the memories we've spent together. I've cherished every single time.

In my eyes, she's the most beautiful person in the world, inside and out. But she never really sees herself clearly. A person would have to be blind to not see Bella as a beautiful person. She's to shy and modest to notice all the looks the boys give her in high school. I had to give them the dead glare to scare them away. They don't deserve someone as kind and gentle as her. I was always worried that Bella would find someone in high school and fall in love and I would feel left alone in the world. But to my surprise and satisfaction, she never did. She had a few dates over the years much to my disheartening but she never really showed interest in any of the boys back then. Only a few guy friends like Emmet and Jasper, who were my friends too.

You'd be surprised to see how stubborn she is! But I've grown used to it over the years. I'm proud to be one of the very few people who could get her to submit to her stubbornness.

Aside from the stubbornness however, Bella's also one of the kindest and most generous persons in the world. She'd do anything for the people she loved and will be first person to hold out a helping hand to those who need it. I'm so ever thankful to have Bella as my best friend. She was the one person I relied on. When I have problems, need advice, help or simply needed company, she'd be the first person I would go to. Of course I also relied on my parents, but it was different with Bella.

The one thing I wasn't able to talk her out off was this waitressing job she took two years ago. I told her it was silly for her to get a job when I could buy her possibly anything she wants. But she had none of that. She hated it when I bought her expensive things but my parents didn't mind. Bella is like a daughter to them too. She said that it's because she wouldn't be able to do the same for me. Silly Bella… I'd just hug her and tell her that all she has to do is be my best friend and cook me the best food in the whole world. Then after that I'd make my puppy face, which she can never resist to say no to. She's so adorable sometimes.

I looked at the time again…7:25. She should be here in a few minutes.

I was jumping with excitement and nervousness. Like I said, I planned this all out.

It was a Crescent moon today. Bella always liked looking at a crescent moon more than she liked looking at a full moon. She's different from any other girl I've ever met in my life and I love her all the more for that.

I would take her to our meadow, the place we stumbled upon when we were kids. I've decorated our favorite tree in that spot with a few Christmas lights. If I were lucky, a few shooting stars would appear tonight. I had a picnic blanket and a few warm blankets packed at the hood of my car. The weather would be a bit chilly tonight but Bella and I always loved to cuddle under one blanket to keep each other warm. We'd lie down and watch the stars tonight then when the time is right, I would tell her. I've been preparing this speech for a long time now. I know exactly what to say.

I still feared rejection of course. It was the reason why I kept postponing my confession. I'd rather die than lose her forever as a friend. I wouldn't be able to live my life without her. She's my reason for living, my rock, the reason I was sane. Even just the thought of her out of my life drives me to the brink of insanity.

However, after a few encouragements from my friends and Bella's closest girlfriends, Alice and Rose, I gained more confidence. Bella has to know how I feel.

I looked at the clock again…7:32

I sat up from my bed and walked to peek outside my window. She's not here yet. Normally she'd be here around 7:30.

Maybe she got caught up at work, I thought.

I looked away from the window and paced around my room. I was itching in anticipation.

To occupy my time, I decided to practice my speech again.

Fifteen minutes passed…

This is a bit unusual. Normally if she were caught up at work, she would give me a call to say she'd be a little late.

I checked my phone on my nightstand to see if I had any missed calls or messages…nope. Nothing…

This is silly, Edward. I thought to myself. You're worried over nothing. She's just a little late.

Then 30 minutes passed…

Now I started to get really worried. This was very unlikely for Bella. She knew better than to worry me. That's why she always called or leaved a message for me at least.

I called her at least 10 times and left several messages in the past 30 minutes. When it came to Bella, I always worried. I was very overprotective of her.

10 minutes…

I called her work place and asked if she was still there. They said she left as soon as her shift ended at 7 o'clock.

Where in the world? I paced around my room, breathing heavily.

Where is she?

I called her house. Nobody was picking up. I left several messages.

I pinched the bridge of my nose for like the millionth time.

Another 10 minutes passed…

Now I was really panicking! I felt the sweat drip from my forehead and I felt a bit light headed.

Bella knew better than to worry me… what's going on??

I looked at the time… 8:37pm.

At least an hour late already! I let out a frustrated sigh.

Then my phone rang. I ran to it, not bothering to look at the screen.

"Hello? Bella?" I said a bit frantically.

"_Edward, it's me."_ Said a firm voice.

What the? Charlie? Why is Bella's dad calling me? Where's Bella.

"Charlie?"

"Yes, Edward." His voice cracked a bit. My heart started to beat faster. I had a strong feeling that this was not going to be good news.

"Charlie, what's…what's going on? Is Bella with you? She was supposed to meet me an hour ago." I asked in a worried voice.

"Edward…son, I need you to listen to me ok." He said quietly.

I gulped nervously, gripping my phone so hard. I sat slowly down on my bed. Please tell me Bella's all right.

"Charlie." I said firmly, "Please tell me that Bella is okay." I was breathing so hard now. If something had happened to Bella… I wouldn't know what to do.

Then I heard a sob… my heart dropped. No…

"Son…" then I heard him take a deep breath, "Bella… Bella was in a car accident."

My eyes widened. No. My heart stopped beating.

No. My whole world came crashing down.

Bella… My Bella…

I couldn't speak, I couldn't think, I couldn't move. My head was swimming, I felt faint.

I vaguely heard Charlie over the phone but as soon as I made out the word "Forks Hospital" I dropped my phone, ran to get my keys then blasted out of my room and ran down the stairs.

Nothing else mattered now… All I had to do was to get to Bella. My breathing was uneven as I ran. My thinking wasn't clear. The only thing I was focused on was going to Bella.

She Can't Die!!

I heard my mother ask what was going on. But I couldn't turn back; I had to go to her now.

I ran outside the door and into my Volvo. I started my car and drove out of our garage. I saw my mother out in the front porch staring worriedly at me. But I couldn't worry about it now. I had to get to Bella.

I drove furiously through the light traffic, cursing that I couldn't get there fast enough. I was in extreme panic mode. I felt my forehead sweating and my hands gripping the wheel so hard, my knuckles turned white from the pressure.

I couldn't calm down. This was my Bella. My Bella was in an accident. I prayed to God that she would be all right. She has to be all right!

I ignored the irritated honks directed at my car. I just drove straight to the hospital with only Bella on my mind.

I made it there in 15 minutes. I jumped out of my car and ran inside to the reception.

I was thankful that some of the people at the hospital knew me.

"I need the room of Isabella Swan." I said frantically at the receptionist woman whom I recognized as Mrs. Johnson.

She looked at me, stunned. "Edward, calm down. She's in Emergency Room No. 2, you're father is…" I couldn't hear the rest of it.

I ran to the ER as fast as I can. Bella's here! She's going to be fine! I tried to assure myself but it wasn't working.

I saw Charlie Swan outside of the Emergency Room, still in his Chief Uniform. I've never seen him so worried in his life.

He saw me approaching.

"Edward." He called. I stopped in front of him, breathing hard and shivering.

"Charlie… what happened? Is she gonna be ok? Is my father there?" I asked, my breath coarse. Charlie gripped my shoulders and gave me a reassuring squeeze.

"Calm down, son. You have to be strong for her now. You're father is in there right now but he didn't tell me anything. It was a car collision. The man who was in other car is in ER 1 right now and the doctors said that he's going to be fine. Let's hope that Bella will be too." He told me in a calm voice. How can he be so calm at this moment? Sigh, I guess that's what you expect from a Chief.

I leaned into Charlie's shoulder, breathing heavily. I couldn't seem to keep my strength up. I felt emotionally and physically drained. I wanted nothing more but to see Bella open her eyes and tell me that everything's going to be okay.

"Here… wipe your face, Son." Charlie said, as he handed me a handkerchief.

I was puzzled. But when I touched my face, I felt tears. I had been crying all this time. I gently accepted the handkerchief in Charlie's hand.

"You're mother is on her way as well. She was worried about your sudden taking off."

I sighed. I must have worried her greatly.

I looked at the emergency doors. Bella is in there right now.

I felt my legs give out so I sat at the floor, leaning my torso against the wall.

I couldn't breath right. I felt myself dry sobbing. My heart ached during every breath.

She has to be okay. She can't leave me! She just can't! Our lives haven't even started yet. There's still so much we have to do. There's still so much she has to do. I want to show her the world. I want to give her everything she deserves. I want to make fun of her hair when she wakes up in the morning. I want to listen to her say my name while she sleeps. I want her to go to College and get her degree. I want to have a beautiful life with her.

God can't take her away from me yet. I need her in my life. She can't go. Her parents need her, her friends need her, I need her. I need to tell her I love her.

I felt so hopeless not being able to do anything right now. I covered my face with my hands and rested my elbows on my legs.

"How long has she been in there, Charlie?" I asked.

I heard him take a breath. "A little over 40 minutes now, Edward."

I closed my eyes hoping that this would all be a dream. Bella would wake me up and she'd lie down on my bed and we'd talk… just talk.

But no… I open my eyes and I'm here in this nightmare.

Why did this have to happen to her? She was so kind, so generous, so gentle. She doesn't deserve this.

My mother arrived a few minutes later. I apologized at my behavior earlier. But she assured me that I didn't need to.

Then I called our friends. They said they'd be here as soon as they can.

After another few minutes, Emmet, Jasper, Rosalie and Alice joined us looking as worried as ever.

1 hour and 10 minutes later...

This had to be the longest hour in my entire life. What was going on? Why haven't they come out yet?

"What's taking them so long!" said Alice. She has been saying that for the past hour.

"Calm down, Alice." Said Jasper, rubbing her arms up and down.

"Calm? How can I be calm Jazz? That's Bella in there!"

I just sat there quietly staring at the floor. I barely said a word.

Emmet and Rosalie sat quietly next to me trying to assure that everything will be all right. It was a wasted effort. Only Bella could make me feel better now.

Then I heard the door creak open as my father, Carlisle came out. I was the first out of everyone to make my way in front of him, my eyes wide in questioning. I almost fainted at the sight of the blood on my father's front. That wasn't just anybody's blood… it was my Bella's… and it was so much. The sight of it made my stomach sick.

My father looked at everyone carefully first then looked down at me. I could already feel my heart breaking. I did not like the look on his face.

Then he looked to my left, at Charlie.

My father took a deep breath. "There's good news and there's bad news."

I heard everyone gasp behind me.

"Carlisle." Said Charlie. "Is she alive?"

Now that was the question. My whole body shuddered as I waited for my father's answer.

He looked down slowly.

_No… It can't be._

"She fell into a coma, Charlie." My father said sadly.

It was then that my whole world went black. It was like a switch of my body turned off. I felt my body give out and I fainted.

I heard everyone's worried voice call out to me as I felt a strong pair of arms catch me before I hit the floor.

All I remember was my last thought…

_…Bella…_

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**I have a lot of plans for this story :) If you guys like it, then I will continue.**

**Review Please… If you want me to go on :)**


	2. Breakdown

**Thanks for all the reviews you guys :) **

**WARNING: If you guys hate reading about Edward getting emotionally hurt, then I apologize beforehand. In this story, Edward's is going to have a really hard time. But I assure you if you keep reading (and reviewing, haha!) then you won't be disappointed in the end.**

**Pardon me for all my grammatical errors okay! I'm only human and English is just my second language. **

**So here goes…**

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**Chapter 2: Breakdown**

**Date: August 17, 2007 (Friday)**

**Edward's POV**

It has been two weeks.

Two dreadful weeks since Bella's car accident. Every single day has been a torment.

I rarely spoke or went out of my room. Peace wasn't found anywhere.

I sat in the chair beside my window, looking outside at the dark night. I was able to hear the crickets playing. It was the only sound that filled the void. This is Bella's favorite seat in my room. It was her 'perfect nook to read a book' as she said. I could still smell her faint scent on the cushions.

I glanced at the clock at my nightstand. 1:38am. I was an insomniac right now. Sleep didn't give me relief. I stared back outside my window in the starless night. If Bella were here, we would be sleeping soundly already or we would stay up all night and talk. We'd talk about anything at night. Anything that just randomly pops in our brain. Things like why the man in the moon was created, why did Van Gough cut off his ear, why is yawning contagious, why do donuts have holes? They were all just silly random things that keep us awake and entertained. But she's not there…

I never cried again since the day of the accident.

When I regained consciousness from fainting, they were wheeling Bella out of the Emergency Room. I couldn't bring myself to look at her so I closed my eyes and turned to my back. I didn't want to see her in this condition. I knew it would hurt too much. My mother held me as I did so. But when she led me outside of Bella's hospital room, I pulled away from her. I was too afraid to go inside. My attitude surprised my friends and family, especially my mother, Esme.

Bella's mother, Renee arrived the next day from Arizona and stayed with her through the entire week until she had to leave again.

For the past two weeks, they have been pushing me to visit her but I couldn't find the strength to do it. I didn't want to face the truth. I didn't want to look at her face and have reality hit me hard.

I want the next time I see Bella to be the time when she's wide-awake and smiling at me. I knew it was a selfish thought but I just didn't have the strength.

I huffed. 'That's wonderful', I thought sarcastically. Her best friend couldn't even build up enough strength to see her.

I felt my chest burn at the thought. I was a coward.

So instead of being the brave supportive friend, I isolated myself in my room. When I ate, I felt like I wanted to throw it up. When I slept, the nightmares came to haunt me. In several nights, I wake up in a cold sweat calling her name.

When my father explained to me Bella's condition, I wanted to cover my ears and run out of the room but I knew I had to hear it. She suffered three broken ribs, one bruised rib, a broken left arm, a severely bruised left leg, an Achilles tendon injury and a traumatic brain injury, which caused the comatose.

I was so angry when I found the source of the collision. Apparently a boy named Tyler tried to beat the red light and didn't notice the big red beat-up truck approaching. Who in the world wouldn't notice something as big as that! He didn't even suffer any major injuries. It had to be my Bella to be the one to suffer the consequences. This angered me even more.

When he came to apologize to Charlie and the rest of the group, I almost attacked him but my father and Emmet stopped me before I did any damage. It was very unlike me. I was never violent to other people but I couldn't take it. My emotions were so tangled back then, I didn't have any control over my actions. I knew my parents were disappointed and I regret ever trying to do it but I wasn't thinking straight.

I was so lost these days. Demons played with my thoughts. The thought of her not waking up from this sleep was like a knife to my heart.

I wasn't used to not seeing Bella everyday. On every Friday, it was an involuntary action for me to glance at my window every night to wait for her to come through. But now, she wasn't there.

She wasn't there to climb through my window. She wasn't there to wake me up in bed. She wasn't there to cook me her delicious creations. She wasn't there to lie down next to me. She wasn't there to talk to me.

She's not there to hug me and tell me that everything is all right.

Bella was always there.

I crossed my arms at my chest, hoping for the pain to go away at this position. It was like my heart was being pierced at every breath. I closed my eyes in deprivation of sleep. Almost every night, I would sleep in this chair just so I would be close to her scent. It'll be like she's really here, but I knew it wasn't enough.

I stood up from the chair in frustration and made my way to the bed. I didn't lie down. I just sat at the edge, looking at the picture at my nightstand. Smiling, I reached for it and stared at it in my hands. I think we were three years old in this picture. We were at the beach and Bella was trying to bury me in the sand. She laid her head down beside me so we could smile at the camera my mother was taking. I softly brushed my fingers through Bella's face in the portrait. Then I felt myself dry sobbing.

"You'll wake up soon, right Bells?" I asked the portrait. I knew it was pointless to ask but I miss talking to her so much I feel like I'm going crazy. "You'll come back to me right? You can't leave yet…" I continued.

Frustrated that I couldn't get an answer, I clutched the frame in my hands so hard. Then it suddenly became hard to breath. I saw a drop of water fall into the glass of the frame. I reached for my face and realized that I was crying. I was finally crying again.

I don't know what came over me. Screaming, I threw the frame hard at the wall until I heard it crash and clutter all over the floor. I buried my face in my hands and clutched at my hair. It hurts so much! I felt like my head was going to explode.

After that… I broke…

Before I knew what was happening, I was throwing my things across the room and screaming. I threw my books, my electronics, my piano pieces and knocked over my CD collection stands. I had to let it out! I had to let out all my anger, my sadness, my depression. I was keeping it all in these past two weeks, I had to let it all out! I can't take it anymore!!

'_WHERE IS SHE? WHERE IS BELLA! WHY HASN'T SHE COME BACK YET!!'_ my mind screamed as I threw things across my room.

When I couldn't find anything else to break, I dropped to my knees, clutching my head and cried. I cried so hard, I had to let everything out.

I didn't even notice my parents coming into my room. I felt my mother hold me in her arms, whispering comforting words in my ear.

"Sshh, Edward, it's going to be okay…relax, we're here for you." My mother whispered. I hugged her in return and cried into her shoulder.

Everything hurt. I was emotionally and physically drained. I tried to speak but I couldn't get any words out of my mouth. They came out gibberish. So I just wept.

I felt my father's hand rub my back firmly. "Edward…" he started. I looked at him slowly. "You have to go see her."

My heart skipped a beat in fear. "No! I…I can't, Dad." I managed to get out. I was too afraid to see her.

"Yes you can, Edward." My father pressed. "You have to see her. What would Bella think if she hears that her best friend hasn't come to visit her at her time of need?" he said softly, concern filled in his eyes.

Her time of need…

"Bella needs you, Edward." My mother whispered. Then she gave me a soft smile, "She always needs you."

I made a shuddering breath then it hit me. Bella needs me. She needs me and I wasn't there for her. I wasn't there for her because I was too selfish of my own feelings. I was too worked up over my own misery that I didn't realize that she needed me now more than ever. A look of pain crossed my features. She needs me. I felt the guilt start to sink in.

"Don't you dare feel guilty, Edward!" my mother snapped. "This is harder for you than it is for any of us besides Bella's parents but for you it's different." She said as she gently cupped my face in her hands. I just nodded in reply.

"I'm so sorry Mom..Dad."

"You don't have to apologize, son." My father said. "Now come, I'll take you to the hospital." He said getting up.

I looked up at him, surprised. It's dead early in the morning. "Dad it's ok. I'll see her tomorrow."

My father chuckled slightly, "It already is tomorrow, Edward. Come on. Get dressed." He smiled.

I took a deep breath and smiled slightly. My mother helped me get up then I went to change. I was grateful to have them as parents. They knew exactly what to say. After buttoning up my shirt, I looked at the mess I made in my room and sighed. Good work, Edward. I'd have to fix this when I get home.

"Don't worry about it, dear." My mother said in the doorway. "I would've done worse if anything like this happened to your father." She smiled. I chuckled slightly.

I walked over to her. She hugged me and I kissed her forehead. "Thank you, Mom." I said softly.

She smiled, "Your Welcome, Edward. Now go… she's waiting for you." I smiled again and made my way downstairs to my father who was already waiting in the doorway.

"Dad, I can drive myself and bring my car… you don't have to…"

"Edward." My father pressed, "You are in no condition to drive right now. Let me do this."

I stared at him, grateful. He was right. I was in no condition to drive.

The drive to the hospital was a fast one. There were no cars around so it took us only 10 minutes to get there. Throughout the drive, I was both nervous and excited. Excited because I would see Bella, nervous because of the feelings that may hurt me when I see her in that condition. But I had none of that. She needs me right now.

My father led me to her room. He gave me a supportive smile and he squeezed my shoulders in a fatherly way. "I'll be at my office when you need me." He said, and walked away. I stared at the white door in front of me. I imagined it swallowing me whole as my stomach churned. But I shook my head to get rid of my hallucinations. I need to do this!

It took me a minute to summon up the courage to open the door. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and turned the knob. I made my way inside with my eyes still closed. I closed the door quickly but softly behind me.

I was in her room now but I still couldn't open my eyes but heart softened as I took in the scent of the room. Sweet, just like Bella. I took in the noise inside the room. The air condition was running and the heart monitor was beeping. It was still too silent.

'_She's in here Edward, just open your eyes. Don't be afraid._' I heard a voice in my mind say.

I took a deep breath and slowly opened my eyes.

There she is.

I took in a shuddering breath. _Oh Bella…_

I felt shivers run down my spine and my heart jump. I looked at her longingly. I suddenly felt like I could breath again. Just the mere sight of her filled me with joy, sadness and hope.

The room was filled with balloons, cards and flowers from friends and family. I felt the guilt slowly sink in. None of these are from me.

There she is, asleep. Bella's beautiful heart shaped face, soft features, long mahogany locks, pale skin and fragile looking body just lying there as still as a rock.

Her face looked so peaceful and tired. An IV was hooked to her right arm for fluids. All the hospital equipment to check her vitals was at the right side of the room. I heard the soft beat of her heart monitor confirming that she is indeed alive. Her left arm was in a cast. I remember my father telling me that she broke her left arm. There were a few healed wounds in her face most of them at her left side which is where she hit her head, I assumed. She looked even more fragile lying down in the hospital bed. She was already showing signs of thinness but she is still beautiful.

I slowly walked up to her, each step felt like a piece of myself was slowly returning. I was at the side of her bed finally, looking down at her. Tears silently escaped my eyes without my knowing.

I've missed her so much, I feel like my heart's going explode. She's so much paler than she usually is.

I gently reached for her right hand and my heart ached at how cold she felt. I brought it up to my chest, holding it with both my hands. I closed my eyes and relished the feeling of touching her again after such a long time. It has been too long.

I leaned down after a few minutes, wanting to be closer to her face. I breathed in her scent and my heart fluttered. Involuntarily, my right hand went up to caress her cheek. I did this every night when we slept in the same bed. After I would do it, she would smile in her sleep but now… there's nothing.

"Hello, my love." I said softly.

Then it hit me. I wasn't able to tell her yet. I didn't tell her that I love her. I have my chance here right now to say it, but she wouldn't hear it. Why does fate have to become so cruel?

I let out a muffled sob as I took in all what was happening. My body shivered then my head collapsed to her shoulder and I wept. My tears came down continuously. I laid my right arm over her chest as if to embrace her, my body still shaking. She's here right now in my arms, but it still hurts so much that she can't hug me back or smile. _Oh Bella…_

I raised my head from her shoulder and gently nuzzled her cheek while my tears were still falling.

Would she ever be able to hear it? Will she ever wake up? Will she ever smile again?

"Bella, I miss you so much. Please come back." I whispered to her ear.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't able to see you sooner. I was too weak without you." I caressed her head softly and lovingly.

My fingers slowly caressed her closed eye lids wishing that they would open.

"We're not finished yet, Bella. So please…" I pleaded softly, "please wake up. Wake up, my love…" I sobbed.

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**12yearsold12yearsold12yearsold… **

_Bella fell asleep about an hour ago. We were on my bed. She climbed in through my window a little earlier saying that she couldn't sleep. She hasn't been able to sleep well ever since her parent's divorce that happened months ago. It hurt me that she was suffering like this. During the first phase of her parent's arguing, I would always see dark circles under her eyes. It hurt me to even look at her move. It was like her every move was full of pain._

_I cherished days like this, lying next to Bella. Most of the time, I would pretend sleep and just watch her all night. She lay on her side facing me with both her hands below her head to act as a pillow. Her mouth formed a tiny 'o' as she breathed in and out. _

_I reached out slowly and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear then I softly caressed her cheek. Her skin was always so soft; I longed to run my hands through them all day. She stirred a little bit which made me stop my actions, worried that I would wake her. My heart lightened as a small smile appeared at her face. _

_That's all I need…_

_Yawning, I started to drift off to sleep as well. _

"_Edward…"_

_I woke up, slightly startled. Bella talked in her sleep all the time but it was only on some days that I hear her say my name. _

_Then I saw heard it again… "Edward.." _

_My heart lightened and I felt goosebumps run down my skin. She's saying my name in her sleep again! At these moments, I would always wonder whether she felt the same way about me as I do to her. I felt like I was in wonderland and my mouth formed a goofy smile. What is she dreaming about? I wish I could read her mind._

_Then I saw her face bunch up in pain, "Mom…" _

_My happy face suddenly turned worried and concerned. Oh no… not again. I slightly leaned up on my elbows._

"_Mom…don't go." Bella whimpered. My chest ached for her. I thought this had stopped already. She stopped talking like that a month ago. Why is it coming back?_

"_Edward.." she said again, her voice in pain. _

_I can't bear to see her like this anymore! I scooted closer to her and carefully laid her head down on my chest as I held her in my arms._

"_I'm here, Bella… it's okay." I whispered then I softly hummed her lullaby. I felt her breathing calm down as she snuggled more comfortably on my chest and let out a contented sigh. Her arm reached across me and she pulled me closer to her. I felt my heart beat faster. This feels so right._

_I smiled down at her. I'm always glad to be there for her when she needs me. My heart fluttered at the thought of her calling to me to protect her even in her sleep. _

"_I'll always be here for you, Bella." I whispered. That was the last thing I said before sleep overtook me._

**PresentPresentPresent…**

I climbed slowly in Bella's hospital bed, careful not to bother her IV. I adjusted myself and lay on my side with Bella's head below me. I placed my arm across her chest, wanting to embrace her. I breathed in the smell of her hair. My eyes were still red from crying and I was still heaving small sobs. I just had to lie down next to her; it has been so long. I just stayed there for several minutes looking down at her sleeping form and feeling her heartbeat through my palm.

"I'll always be here for you, Bella." I whispered.

I closed my eyes, savoring the feeling of her once again in my arms. Sleep immediately came and this time… no nightmares plagued my dreams.

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**Carlisle's POV**

I was inside my office as Edward spent time inside the hospital room with Bella. It pained me to see him this way. Edward has loved Bella all his life and now he has to see her in this state.

He wasn't himself for the past two weeks. He barely ate, slept or went out of his room. It shocked me that he didn't want to go and visit her in the hospital. Out of everyone, I expected him to always want to see her but to my surprise, he didn't.

I sighed. I know this is hard for him, but he has to have more hope in his heart. That's why I took him to see her now. Esme and I were so worried when we heard the outrage he had driven in his room. But we understood. If I were in his situation, I'm sure I would've done worse damage.

This was hard on all of us. We loved Bella very much. Esme and I treated her as the daughter we never had and plus, she made Edward the happiest man alive. I don't think she realizes it though. Bella was always the modest and humble one. The perfect match for our son.

I was sad to see that there hasn't been any progress in Bella's comatose. If she doesn't wake up in 3 weeks then this would be considered a persistent coma.

But I had hope. Bella's job here isn't finished yet. She will wake up.

I looked at my watch and noticed that it was already 4am. I gathered my paperwork and made my way to Bella's room to check and see if Edward was ready.

When I knocked on the door, I didn't get a reply. I opened it slowly to peek inside then my eyes widened. He fell asleep next to her. A sad smile filled my face as I looked at them both. Sighing, I closed the door slowly. He needs all the sleep he can get.

I walked to the reception and asked Bella's attending nurse to tell Edward to call me in the morning to pick him up.

I couldn't imagine what my son was going through.

As I made my way back home, thoughts of fear entered my head. What if Bella won't come back? How would our lives be? How will Edward be?

As I parked inside our garage, I saw my wife waiting for me in the front porch, drinking a cup of coffee. We stared at each other lovingly as I got out of the car. Looks of sadness crossing our features at our son's disposition.

She smiled at me sadly and outstretched her arms. I ran to them without a second thought, breathing in her scent and holding her lovingly.

'_I'll make sure she wakes up, Edward.'_ I thought. _'I don't know how, but I'll make sure she does…'_

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**There ya go.. the second chapter…**

**No bad thoughts about Edward please… imagine what he's going through, keeping up all that sadness and anger for two weeks and finally letting it out… **

**I love Esme and Carlisle… they're the most understanding parents in the world!**

**Review please if you still want me to continue…:)**

**You know I'll update faster if you review :)**

**REVIEW please :) if you want to receive a sneak-peak for the next chappie :)**


	3. The Papasan Chair & Esme's Garden

Cool… I didn't expect much response to this story. You guys make me happy :) Thanks for the reviews, everyone :)

**Disclaimer: I'm sure everyone knows that Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer **

**Then again… pardon for the grammatical errors. I think I need a Beta…**

Here goes :) chapter 3

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**Chapter 3: The Papasan Chair and Esme's Garden**

**Date: August 24, 2007 (Friday)**

**Esme's Point of View**

I sat alone with my thoughts in the papasan chair at our backyard; it's beige see through canopy covering both sides. I took a sip out of the coffee I held in my hands while waiting for the sun to come out of the horizon. A quilt was wrapped around my shoulders to protect me from the cold of the approaching Fall.

_He has been making progress._

Ever since Edward came to see her a week ago, he has been camping out at the hospital never leaving her side. When he was home, it was only to take a shower, eat and pack a few clothes. I was thankful that he didn't have that distant look in his face anymore. Just the mere presence of Bella has made him feel better but it wasn't enough. The dark circles under his eyes have lightened but it was still there…the depression and loneliness. Just looking at my son makes my heart break.

I sighed and wrapped the quilt tighter around me.

It has been a total of three weeks ever since Bella's accident and there is still no improvement. Carlisle said that comas rarely last longer than five weeks but in those five weeks the patient has to be showing small responses to stimuli like a movement of fingers or a small moan. In Bella's case, there has been nothing. This worried me even more. We decided not to tell Edward about this unless it was absolutely necessary. He has suffered too much already.

A small ray of sunlight peeked out of the horizon. I squinted my eyes to adjust to the light.

This papasan chair is Bella's favorite spot in the house besides Edward's bedroom. I brought back to mind the day I got this chair. I took Bella furniture hunting with me about 9 years ago. Oh dear, has it been that long? I chuckled. Of course I would have taken my husband or my son with me but sometimes, a girl's opinion is always needed. I was quite taken by surprise. Everything that Bella had pointed to or touched or sat on turned into something I just had to get for the house.

**9yearsago9yearsago9yearsago…**

"_Oh! Esme! Look at this! It's so pretty." Said an enthusiastic little Bella as she plopped down on a round comfy looking chair. She giggled, "It's comfy too!"_

_I laughed at her enthusiasm as I circled the chair. "Hmm…" I thought. I've never seen this kind of chair before. It was round and looked like the kind of chair people could just snuggle up and fall asleep in. This would go perfect in the backyard porch! Then I felt a soft tugging on my hand. _

"_Come on, Esme!" Bella said as she pulled me to the front of the chair and plopped me down by surprise. "Oh!… Oh yes it is comfortable." I chuckled, feeling the cushions of the chair below and on my back. I lay down and sighed contently. Then I felt Bella sit down beside me as well, resting her head at my shoulder. I smiled down at her as she did at me. _

"_Are you interested in this chair, madam?" A smiling plump salesman asked, approaching us. "Ah…Oh yes…" I replied, smiling as Bella and I got up from the chair. Bella giggled in delight as she came to my side. I put my hand in the small of her back, looking up at the salesman. _

"_I've never seen this kind of chair before. Is it new?" I asked the salesman._

"_Why yes it is!" he replied happily. "Well, it's new here in America. These chairs are quite famous in the UK. These just arrived a few months ago. They're called Papasan Chairs." _

_This took me by surprise. New furniture designs never got past me. "Is that so…Papasan Chairs! Well, do you have the cushions in different color? Pink doesn't really go with my backyard." I smiled. I heard Bella and the salesman chuckle. I guessed that Carlisle and Edward would freak if they see a bright pink chair in the house._

"_Of course we do, Ma'm. Follow me and I'll show you some pictures." _

_Bella tugged on my shirt. I looked down at her big brown eyes. "Are you really going to get it, Esme!?" she whispered, smiling. I looked at her softly and touched her cheek, "Of course I am dear! It looks perfect! You did a good job!" _

_She blushed her beautiful shade of crimson and looked down shyly. I chuckled. "Now you stay here dear. I'll just be over there." I pointed at the salesman waiting patiently at a corner. "Okay." She smiled and plopped down back at the chair. I chuckled and walked to the salesman._

"_You're daughter made a good choice, Ma'm." he said, brightly. _

"_Oh, she's…" I was supposed to correct him. But then I looked back lovingly at Bella who was sitting at the Papasan Chair. Her eyes closed and long wavy brown locks falling at her shoulders. She looked up and grinned sweetly at me. My heart melted._

_Looking back at him, I smiled and replied, "Yes. My daughter really did make a good choice." _

**PresentPresentPresent…**

I chuckled. Ever since I got this chair, Bella has been laying around in it all the time, which I was thankful for. I think she visited more often just to sit back here. Over the years, I've had this chair refurbished about 3 times and I even added a little beige princess canopy. This is where she would wait for Edward to come home, where she would read some of her books, where she would play her guitar, where she watched the sunrise just like what I'm doing now.

Over the years, to Carlisle and I, Bella has always been a daughter.

She was the little girl who healed our heart.

After Edward, I got pregnant again and was supposed to have a little girl but after the sixth month, I had a miscarriage.

I was devastated and broken. Carlisle and I have always had our heart set on having a boy and a girl. I thought our hearts would never heal again…but when she came into our lives, it was like everything became perfect with an added bonus. Bella has made Edward so happy for the past years and he has loved her the entire time.

I don't know about Bella but I have a feeling that she feels the same way. Sometimes I catch her looking at Edward with this spark in her eyes but at the next second, she would look down and it would disappear. This always puzzled me.

Of course I could never take the place of her real mother, Renee. Renee is this outgoing mother who is more of a friend than a parent. We've all noticed this, including Bella. Bella is more of the parent out of both of them. Bella took care of her mother more than her mother took care of her. Renee wasn't a bad person. She was just more carefree. Charlie and Renee, of course also treated Edward as the son they never had. It was like we were all one big happy family. But things change. They divorced several years ago. I guess you could say we saw it coming, especially Bella. That was a really hard time for her. But Edward was there…

Edward wouldn't be the magnificent person he is now if it weren't for Bella. She has helped him in ways that Carlisle and I could not. She was his 'person'.

I felt a cool tear run down my cheek.

What if she never came back? I sniffed. I don't want to lose my daughter again. She has to come back…

I closed my eyes and tried to compose myself, forgetting the sunrise at the horizon.

Then I felt the warm familiar hands of my husband touch my face. I didn't even hear him come near. I opened my tear-filled eyes to look at his warm blue ones. He brushed the tears from my cheeks with his thumbs and sat beside me. His arms wrapped around me as I rested my head in his chest, sobbing.

He held me tighter and stroked my cheek. I've always felt safe in his arms. "Everything will be okay…" he whispered. He knew what I was thinking. He always knew what I was thinking. I had to place more hope in my heart.

Everything 'will' be okay. I'm sure of it! Bella is not done here yet…

"I love you." I whispered in his chest as my tears stopped running down.

"I love you too…" he replied as he held my face and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

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**1 week later…**

**Date: August 31, 2007 (Friday)**

**Edward's Point of View**

I woke up as I felt the first rays of the sun touch my eyes through the window. I squinted, trying to adjust to the new light of day. Another day…

One staggering month and still… nothing.

My upper body stretched as I yawned then I placed my arm back to embrace her chest.

Ever since my visit two weeks ago, I couldn't bring myself to leave her side anymore. I've camped out in this room for the past 14 days. Seeing her has made me feel a bit better but it still hurts to not have her awake. I stared at her sleeping face and traced down her cheek with my fingers.

_Will she wake up today? _Is my first thought every morning.

She hasn't been making any progress for the entire time I've stayed with her but I had to be patient. I didn't want to lose my temper again.

"Good Morning, Love." I whispered, hoping she could hear it. It felt good to finally be able to call her 'love' but it's still like a blow to the chest to not have her hear me.

_I miss talking to you…_

Sighing, I got up from the bed and cracked my back. Ow… sleeping in a hospital bed isn't as comfortable as you think.

I grabbed my toothbrush from my bag and headed for the bathroom. After freshening up, I looked for some new clothes to wear. Hmm… I'm going to have to get more clothes at home. I've worn everything twice already. My stomach grumbled. A breakfast from Mom doesn't sound too bad either. Hospital food isn't exactly gourmet. I've been spoiled too much by my mother and Bella's delicious cooking.

It was the same routine everyday. Wake up, freshen up, eat, watch Bella, eat again…then sleep.

I grabbed my clothes and headed for the bathroom again, then stopped… Bella wouldn't see me in the room now. I could just change here… no need to worry. I chuckled. I was supposed to strip down but when I looked back at Bella… I blushed. Okay… she may be unconscious but she's still here! Then I made my way to the bathroom. Just the thought of being naked in front of Bella made me shiver and blush professedly.

_It's not a big deal… you've seen each other naked…_ said a voice in my head. _Yeah! But that was when we were toddlers and our body parts weren't fully developed yet!_ Said another voice. Ugh! Stop thinking, Edward!

After dressing up, I called Alice saying that I would have to leave Bella for the day. She agreed to watch over her when I was gone and would arrive in a few minutes.

During this time, there was no way I would let Bella be left alone. Someone has to watch over her 24/7 to see if she has been making any progress. It has been one whole month and still nothing has happened. I'm going to have to ask my dad about this if it's normal or unlikely.

"You'll wake up soon right? Bells?" I asked her sleeping form.

Sighing, I sat down on the chair beside her bed and rubbed her arm softly. Looking at her face would seem like she's only sleeping. At any second, I would think that her eyes would just pop open but disappointment would meet me every time.

I used Bella's soft hand as a pillow for my cheek as I laid my head down on the hospital bed. My eyes drifted to sleep again. She was my own special sleeping pill.

A few minutes later…

"Wakey wakey, Eddie boy…" said a familiar voice. Oh… only one person would say that to wake me up. "Hey Alice…" I muttered softly, still not opening my eyes and leaving Bella's hand.

Alice giggled as I felt her walk beside me. "Morning, Bells." She said softly. I opened my eyes to find Alice brushing Bella's hair from her forehead then she looked at me.

"You look like crap." She said crossing her arms. I chuckled, "You don't have to say that every time we meet Alice." I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I sat up.

"It's true though. You look like flesh and bones." Said another voice. I looked back at the door to see Jasper standing with a vase of fresh flowers on his hands.

I smiled weakly as I greeted him. These two have been spending a LOT of time with each other.

Alice looked at me sadly, a question in her eyes. I knew that look. She was asking me if there was any improvement. I shook my head solemnly in reply. She sighed sadly and walked over to Bella to kiss her forehead.

"Uh, hey Ali… I don't think there's enough space for this." Said Jasper, looking around to find a spot for the vase.

"Nonsense! These over here are already wilted… I'll take them outside." Alice gestured to the one on Bella's bedside table. It looked like a few wilted Calla Lilies. Not exactly Bella's type of flower…

"That's okay Alice. I'll be on my way outside anyway. I'll take them." I said, grabbing my backpack.

After a few hugs, I kissed Bella's forehead, "I'll be back, Bells." I whispered in her ear. Before making my way out the door, I looked back once again. I hated having to leave her even if it was only just a second.

Alice scoffed, "Don't worry Edward. We'll take care of her. You hogged her for two weeks. Give someone else a turn." She joked. "Yeah, we'll see you later, dude." Said Jasper.

And with that, I left. Before placing the wilted flowers near the trash, I noticed the card attached to the vase.

_Get well soon, dear._

_Love, Mom and Phil_

It's a pity we have to throw these away. Sighing, I placed the vase down next to the trash, and then a thought entered my mind. I remember my mom putting wilted flowers to good use. Smiling, I picked them back up and placed them in my car. They may not be Bella's kind of flowers but it's the thought and from whom it came from that matters.

The drive back home was silent. I didn't even bother to turn on the radio. That was Bella's job. I groaned. Everything reminded me of her. After parking my car, I grabbed the vase of flowers and proceeded inside the house.

"Mom? I'm home." I called out.

"In the living room, dear!" she replied.

I walked to the living room to find my mother arranging some flowers from the garden. She smiled brightly as she saw me walk in. I came over and she kissed me in the forehead then she noticed the wilted flowers I had in my hands. "Are these for the house? Cause I don't think they would live any longer…"

I chuckled, "No Mom… these were from Bella's. They came from Renee and Phil. I didn't want to throw them away so I figured you would do your… uh,… that thing you do with old flowers and stuff." I muttered.

Her eyes softened as she chuckled. "You mean making Potpourri, dear?"

"If that's what you call it." I replied, placing the flowers at the table. "It's just that…" I scratched my head, "with Bella asleep, she wouldn't see all the flowers that people gave her and it's… it's kinda…" I struggled to find the right words without making my voice break. It was still hard to talk about Bella. My mother placed her hand on top of mine in understanding.

"I think that's a wonderful idea, Edward." She replied, smiling softly. "Let me handle this." She gestured towards the flowers. "I'll buy some small jars where I can put them in separately then I'll tie the cards around them. It'll be your job to bring the flowers home." She smiled. "Bella would love to see them when she wakes up."

_When she wakes up…_

"Thanks, Mom." I said while hugging her.

"Don't mention it dear, I would love to do it." She let go of me then my stomach grumbled. She laughed. "Now, you go do what you have to do and I'll cook you some breakfast." I smiled. She knows exactly what to say.

I went back to my room to pack a few more clothes. I sat on my bed in exhaustion. It was the only undamaged thing in my room. After my outburst, I've broken practically everything in my room. My computer, my radio, my CD stands, my keyboard was slightly scratched, thankfully, my piano pieces weren't arranged… sigh. So my room was practically a bit empty right now after my mom fixed it. I felt guilty to have my mom fix it for me but she told me not to worry about it. This will have to be her new renovation project.

When I glanced back at my nightstand, something caught my attention.

Our picture frame.

I walked over to it and held it in my hands. I broke this… It's in a brand new frame. My mom must have noticed it. This was my favorite picture of Bella and I. I winced as I recalled the moment I threw it across the wall. How could I have done that? I would never throw this.

I closed my eyes as I fell back to my bed with the frame in my hands.

I miss her so much, it hurts to even breath…

After a few minutes, I placed the frame inside my backpack. I'd bring it to the hospital with me.

When I finished packing, I made my way downstairs. My mom wasn't done with breakfast yet so I went outside in the backyard for a little fresh air.

I loved our backyard. My mother would do well in landscape architecting too. As I made my way outside the door, I made an involuntary glance at the papasan chair at one corner of the backyard porch.

This is where she would always wait for me…

**Edward16yearsold…Bella15yearsold…**

"_Mom! I'm home."_

_I tossed my car keys and gym bag in the kitchen table as I made my way outside the backyard to Bella. It was like an impulse action. Get home…drop my keys…check the garden for Bella._

_A beautiful tune filled the air as I opened the screen door to the backyard. _

_There she is! Her beautiful long wavy locks slightly flying with the wind as she played her guitar with her eyes closed. She sat cross-legged with the guitar on her lap on the papasan chair. She wore a blue tank top and brown shorts. _

_Bella stopped playing as soon as soon as she heard me come through. "Hulloo Edward!" she smiled. Aah, that beautiful smile… _

_I moved over the canopy and plopped down next to her as I kissed the side of her head. "Hulloo Bells! What song was that?" I leaned on my arms behind me. _

_She scrunched her nose and drew her head away from me. "Eew…Ed!" she whined, "You stink!" _

_I laughed at her. "No I don't! That's pure man's perfume you're taking in!" I teased. I did just come from soccer practice, so I was still a bit sweaty from the game. I was supposed to take a shower but I was too excited to see her. _

"_Well, you better get you and your stinky 'natural man's perfume' away from me." She glared._

_I mocked hurt, "I'm hurt, Bells. I would never call 'you' stinky." _

"_Aha! You called me stinky before! Remember when we were 7 years old and I fell down that pond you thought it would be fun to swim at!" she said as she looked me straight in the eye._

_Yes, I do remember that day. You were so cute all soaked from head to toe. "No I don't remember that day." I replied mockingly as I looked elsewhere. _

_She laughed and hit me in the arm. "Ow… hey watch it. My arm still hurts from when you hit me the other day."_

"_Oh… sorry." She rubbed it softly. "But you know it was your fault… letting me win that race."_

"_Well, I felt bad for having to win against you every time." I teased. She just rolled her eyes and groaned. I laughed, it's so much fun to push her buttons. _

"_So, can you take a shower now? The smell isn't getting any better. Esme's flowers might die because of you…" Oh so now she's teasing me._

"_I'll go right ahead after you play me that song. It sounded really good." I said, smiling. She pursed her lips and blushed. "Uhh… it's nothing. Just a little something I came up with." _

_My eyes widened in excitement. "I've never heard you compose before! I must be wearing off on you." We chuckled. _

"_You wish."_

"_Come on!" I nudged her shoulder. "Let's hear it."_

_Bella bit her lip. It's a little habit of hers when she's nervous. I found it quite endearing. "Do you promise not to make fun of me." She said, scratching her head._

"_Uh… that depends." I joked, placing my finger under my chin. _

"_Edward!" Bella laughed and tickled my side._

"_Yes..Yes! haha, I promise. Now go on… please." I made my puppy dog face which I knew she couldn't resist. I noticed her falter. _

_Works everytime! _

_She took a deep breath and positioned her hands on her guitar. In a few seconds, a beautiful melody filled the air. I closed my eyes to enjoy the feeling. _

_It was beautiful. The tune was soft and gentle. It reminded me of spring. _

_I opened my eyes to look at her. Bella's eyes were closed as her fingers danced elegantly across her guitar. A soft smile in her face and the sunlight dancing on her pale soft skin. _

_Beautiful…_

_I felt my heart flutter at the sight. I wish I had a picture to capture the moment._

_I love you Bella… if only I have enough courage to say it._

_She stopped playing in which seemed like the middle of the song, much to my dismay._

"_Why'd you stop?" I complained._

_She sighed, "That's all I have so far". She shrugged and looked at me._

"_That was beautiful!" I said as she blushed. "What made you write it?" I asked curiously while leaning my head to the side. _

_She looked at me and gestured to the garden of our backyard. "This." _

"_My mom's garden?" I asked, surprised. _

_She nodded. "Mhm… it looks really beautiful this spring." _

_I was amazed. Bella had managed to capture the beauty of the garden and placed it into her music. I blushed; this made me fall for her even more. Could she be any more perfect?_

"_You should play it for mom! She'd love to hear it." I said. She bowed her head, unsure. _

"_You think she's going to like it?" she asked._

_I laughed and ruffled her hair, "Silly Bella. She's going to love it! I wouldn't be surprised if she records it or would let you play it in front of her garden club."_

"_Haha! Right…those days are reserved for you and your little Mozart fingers." _

_I held my hands up in front of me. "Hm… these babies have shown enough in front of the old ladies… it's time for another one to shine!" Bella laughed her musical laugh._

"_Well, maybe I'll let her listen to it after I finish composing the song. I'll call it Esme's Garden." She said as she put down her guitar and looked back at me. _

"_EDWARD!!" _

_We both cringed at the sound of my mother's voice._

"_Get your Gym Bag out of the Kitchen Table, young man! Or you'll have to eat your gym socks for dinner!" my mother threatened. _

_"Crap..." I muttered._

"_Mmphff…" Bella pursed her lips trying not to laugh. Oh yeah…I'll show her._

"_You laughin' at me, Bells?" I asked, raising my eyebrows._

"_I'm not laughing…" she replied with an animated face. _

"_Yes you are!" I pointed at her mouth._

"_No I'm not! Take your shower!" she defended and tried to change the subject. _

"_I'll show you!" I grabbed her and embraced her from all sides letting my 'manly natural scent' touch her. She shrieked and tried to pull away from me, her cute little feet kicking at my legs as she laughed._

"_Aaah! Ed-wa-ha-haaarrd!!..Haha… Gettoff!" she managed to get out and tried to kick me away from the chair._

_I laughed along with her as I rubbed my face all over the back of her shirt. Then I quickly let go and dashed inside the house._

"_Oh no you don't! Get back here, YOU!" Bella called as she chased me around the kitchen. _

"_What? Do you want more of the manly perfume?" I teased her from the opposite side of the kitchen counter._

"_Oh you are so sick! You're gonna pay for that!" _

"_I wanna see you try!"_

_I rushed upstairs to my room with her quickly gaining up on me, both of us laughing like a couple of five year olds._

**PresentPresentPresent…**

I looked out at my mother's garden as I sat on the Chair. It was the beginning of Fall, so the plants weren't exactly into their season. It was like a contrast to the time Bella played "Esme's Garden" to me about two years ago.

I remember the melody clearly but she still hasn't finished it. She told me she wanted to find the perfect tune to follow the one she has now. I had a sudden longing to want to hear her play the guitar again. Bella has so much talent but the silly girl never sees herself clearly.

I recalled all those days when we would chase each other around the house. We were both always so childish sometimes.

"Breakfast is ready dear…" my mother said softly. I turned around to see her standing by the screen looking sadly at me. She knows that this is Bella's chair in the house.

I got up slowly. "Thanks Mom." I said in a weak voice. She walked to me and gently pulled me into her embrace. I was a bit surprised, but I hugged her back anyway. My mom hasn't heard Bella's song for her yet. She has to hear it. She would be so happy to hear it.

"I just thought you needed it." My mom whispered as she let go. I smiled at her. She always knew how I felt. Esme's an amazing mother.

"You're breakfast is at the table and I'm going to run to the groceries for a while. Now, I'm going to go visit Bella tomorrow so I'll see you then, alright." She said as she cupped my cheek in a motherly way.

"Ok, Mom. Thank you… really." I emphasized as I gently squeezed her hands. She has done so much for me already.

She just smiled in reply. "Anytime, my dear." And with that she left.

I came inside the house and ate the chocolate chip pancakes my mother made me. It felt good to eat my mother's cooking after a long time at the hospital.

After cleaning the dishes, my legs led me to my baby grand piano. I've never tried playing Bella's song in my piano before. My hands itched the play it. I just had to hear it again.

Giving in, I sat on the piano bench and lifted the lid. I brushed my hands across the keys before positioning them. I closed my eyes and let the music flow through my fingers. The melody filled the entire house.

As I reached at what seemed like the chorus of the melody, my body shivered. I recalled Bella's face as she played this song. The season of Spring in my mother's garden… all the flowers in bloom and the sun shining bright. Her eyes were closed as her long fingers danced effortlessly across the chords. The wind was blowing her hair as the sunshine kissed her skin and hair making it glow. And her smile… her beautiful smile. I'd give anything to see her smile again.

I didn't even need to look down at the piano keys. It was all in my heart.

I choked a sob as I finished the 'unfinished' song. Tears ran down my eyes again, falling on the piano keys. I breathed in and out, trying to control them.

_It's not finished yet, Bella… come back and finish it for me… for my mother. _

_Finish Esme's Garden._

I buried my face in my hands as I succumbed to the tears.

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**Esme's Garden is in my Profile!! :D Both Guitar and Piano :D**

**It's better to listen to it while reading the story. Although it's not called "Esme's Garden"… it's called "For My Father" by Andy Mckee. It's beautiful.**

**I also posted what I imagined the Papasan Chair to look like :) just imagine a beige canopy over it!**

**This is the longest chapter so far. Sorry it took me a while to update. I'll update sooner if more of you guys review :) haha.**

**Did anyone see the new trailer of twilight? The kiss was included. These two actors have so much chemistry, I'm so glad!**

**Review? Pwease... :) If you wanna receive a sneak-peak for the next chapter :)**


	4. What She Would Have Wanted

**Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are the best :)**

**I'm so sorry for the late update… I sort of had a writer's block… but it's all good! I know what to write now :D**

**Pardon for my Typo Errors and Grammatical Errors please :) I'm only human!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight :) I'm sure everyone knows Stephanie Meyer…**

**Here goes… Chapter 4…**

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**Chapter 4: What She Would Have Wanted**

**Date: September 7, 2007 (Friday)**

**Edward's POV**

The clock in my nightstand blinked 1:25 in the afternoon.

I lay sprawled out on my bed staring at the pallid ceiling of my room. Today marked the fifth week of Bella's comatose. At this point, she's walking on thin ice. According to medical research, coma's rarely last beyond a month. Going past the fifth week means that the patient would be in a persistent coma. Bella's in dangerous territory.

There's no knowing if she's ever going to wake up now…

My heart pained as I clutched at my chest.

I closed my eyes trying to get the negative thoughts out of my head. I can't lose hope now. She WILL wake up. She has to.

I knew the risks. My father explained everything. But I didn't care.

'_I don't care if she wakes up with a certain brain damage. I would help her through that. I don't care if she wakes up with amnesia. I would make her remember her life.' _

'_I don't care if she wakes up and forgets who I am!!' _My fists clenched at the thought.

'_As long as she's alive and smiling… it would be enough…'_

'_It would be enough…'_

But still…

The thought of having something or everything in her memory erased… every memory, every moment… Would fate be that cruel?

I buried my head in the pillows hoping to get rid of my fears…

…_all our memories…forgotten? _

I just came back from the hospital a few hours ago. There were some things I needed to think about without having Bella in the room with me… and that was the thought of leaving for College.

Five weeks without Bella has left me tired and weak. I felt like I barely had the strength to walk a mile… much less run. I don't think I have any more left in me to be far away from her in a long time. College would be three and a half hours away from home. Would I be able to take the distance?

I made a deep breath and felt the familiar blow to my heart. Just being away from her now makes it hard to breath.

Fear gripped me at the thought of leaving Bella here while I go to Medical School. In a way, I felt some sort of guilt fill me. Bella and I have always talked about College mutually ever since our senior year began. We talked about how College would change our lives, if ever we would join frats/sororities, how many times we would see each other in a week, the pressure our classes would have… the list goes on. At the start of the summer, I've already imagined us driving together in my car to go to Seattle… But then this had to happen…

It's so obvious… I can't take it. I can't take the distance.

I can't go…

**4monthsago4monthsago4monthsago…**

"_I'm telling you, he is really torturing us! I mean, who gives a science project a week before our Finals are coming up?" whined Bella as she slunk back into the passenger seat. _

_We were both driving home from school in my car, mentally worn out from all the work the teachers are giving us before we finish our senior year. The period before the senior year ends definitely feels like a brain hemorrhage. The professors were shamelessly drowning us with tests, projects and paper work._

_I chuckled as I noticed Bella pout. "Don't worry about it Bells, you're in good hands. I bet you that we will finish this paper in 2 days!" I said confidently as I turned to our street. _

_She sniggered, "Well, having you as a lab partner is one thing I'm thankful for. I don't think I can take another science class with that Vile Newton…"_

_I cringed. Mike Newton. One of my biggest rivals. He spent nearly the entire high school trying to get Bella out on a date with him. He was also the reason why she almost failed Chemistry last year. That sad excuse of a man left her to do all the work. He can burn in hell for all I care. _

_I was thankful to have Bella as my lab partner again. The teachers thought it was for the best. She was the only one in class who could match my level. Our lab partners from the previous years basically slacked off, thinking that we could manage on our own. _

_Bella and I are one of the top students in our class. So you can imagine how some people would take advantage of that. That's why Bella and I partner up in almost everything. _

_Sigh. Well, on the bright side… high school is nearly over… that Newton kid won't be bothering her anymore… I hope. _

"_Haha, you were such a poor little kid last year…" I teased her. _

_She scoffed, "Aha! Well, look who's talking. At least I didn't get my chemistry partner rushed to the hospital last year."_

"_Hey!! That wasn't my fault! I asked Jessica to do one simple thing… how was I supposed to know the beaker would blow up in her face?" I defended. Jessica was a nightmare of a partner. Who would worry about her nails and make-up when you're doing an intricate chemistry lab work? I silently wished that the chemicals would blow up on her but I didn't mean it too literally._

_She laughed, "I know, I know… I only wish I could have blown up Mike…"_

_We laughed. I loved our conversations like this… it was an everyday routine for us. _

_I turned to my house and parked my car in the garage. _

"_Mom? I'm home…" I called out as Bella and I came through the front door. _

"_I'm in the study dear! Bella, there's some strawberry pie in the fridge if you want!" my mother called out. _

_Bella giggled in delight, "Thanks, Esme!" then she ran off into the kitchen. I smiled. My mother always knew whether Bella came home with me or not. I think she has some kind of sixth sense. _

_I dropped my keys in the table near the foyer and checked the mail. _

_Bills…bills…for dad…for dad… for mom… for… SHIT! _

_My eyes widened as I held my acceptance/ rejection letter to the UW Medical School. It finally came. My heart started to beat furiously in anticipation and nervousness. What if I didn't get in?? This was my number one choice for several reasons. _

_It's one of the best medical schools._

_It's close to home._

_The campus is huge with lots of benefits._

_It's close to Seattle College… where Bella would stay._

_I didn't even realize my legs moving until I looked up and found myself in the kitchen. Bella stood beside the counter eating her slice of strawberry pie. _

"_What's wrong?" she looked up to see my expressionless face. Then she looked at the envelope in my hands. She abandoned her pie and walked over to my side, her eyes widening in glee. _

"_It finally came!! Well, come on! Open it!" she said excitedly. Is she crazy?_

"_I'm not opening it!" I said in a nervous voice. "What if it's a rejection letter?" I said, clutching the letter to my chest. " I… I don't even think I did well in their entrance test… God knows what I said in the essay portion…"I flung my hands in the air while circling my spot in a nervous temperament. Am I sweating? God… why am I so nervous. This is it… this is my future…_

"_Edward, you're being silly! You did fine in that entrance exam… just open the damn letter. You're gonna have to do it sooner or later." _

"_The envelope is small… small envelopes usually mean rejection letters right?" I asked frantically while waving the envelope in front of her face. _

_She chuckled. "It's not funny, Bells!"_

"_Oh yes it is…"_

_I glared at her…_

"_Ok… ok…" she raised her hands. Then in a calm voice she said, "Edward, you're being worried over nothing. You've never failed a test before…"_

"_HA! Yes, I DID fail a test before!"_

"_Edward!" an amused look on her face, "that was in second grade and it was a spelling test…"_

"_I still failed…" I said, making a point. _

"_Urgh… Edward, it's ok. If you didn't get in that…" she said sadly, "you could still go to Boston or New Jersey… you got accepted there."_

"_I don't want Boston or New Jersey… it's…" _it's not close to you_, "it's not my number one choice"_

_She groaned. "Come on… just give it to me!" she came to me trying to get her hands on the letter. _

"_No… no no no no no… wait! Wait…" I said trying to get it out of her reach. I wasn't ready for this yet. I held it high above my head where she couldn't reach it. _

_Bella jumped trying to reach it, both of us almost trampling each other. _

"_Oomph… Oh, Edward… come on! Give it." Bella reached her hands up, but I was always struggling to pull it away at the last second. _

"_Bella! Quit it!"_

"_YOU quit it!"_

_Just then, I felt my foot slip from the kitchen rag on the floor. The kitchen counter was too far for my reach… "WHOA!" I fell backwards dragging Bella on top of me. I felt my head hit the tile floor. I closed my eyes to get rid of the small throbbing sensation. "Oow…"_

"_Oh God, Edward? Are you okay? I'm sorry. Does your head hurt?" Bella held both sides of my head, gently rubbing the spot where I hit my head. I just groaned in reply. It didn't hurt as much… just a tiny bump. I opened my eyes slightly to find Bella's concerned brown eyes staring down at me. It was then that I noticed our position. I was lying on the floor with her straddling me on the hips and holding my head between her hands. I almost gulped and I felt the blood rise to my face and warmth fill my entire body. I was thankful for my tan skin so my blush wouldn't be obvious. _

"_Edward? Are you okay?" Bella asked, in a worried voice. I think I was still too stunned to speak. How many times have I dreamed of both of us in this position? _Get your mind out of the gutter, Edward!_ I stared at her for a good five seconds before I shook my head and replied, "Yeah… 'm okay." My voice was slightly high… I hope she didn't notice. _

She sighed, "okay, good…" then she snatched something from my hand and stood up quickly turning her back from me. Huh? What was I holding again? Then I heard the sound of a paper tearing. The Letter!!

"_BELLA!!" I yelled, trying to get up… Ow… get up slowly. Well, I'm too late anyway. She opened it. _

_Bella had her back on me so I couldn't see the expression in her face. _

"_Edward…" I heard the solemnity in her voice as she turned to face me, her face cheerless. I felt dread sink into my body. I knew it… getting in UW Medical School was too good to be true. I groaned as I leaned my elbows into the kitchen counter._

"_I'm sorry Edward…" Bella approached me and placed the paper in front of me as she patted my back. I wanted to tell her to get that piece of paper away from me but I was too depressed to even speak. Sigh. Dreams gone. I would be away from Bella in College… we won't see each other for months, she's going to make new friends, fall in love and I'm gonna die alone… It was then that I glanced at the letter in front of me. _

Dear Mr. Cullen

Congratulations!

You've been accepted to the UW Medical…

_What the?? Wide eyed, I grabbed the paper in my hands to make sure I read it correctly. _

_I GOT IN!!--?_

_I'm in?? Dreams are coming true. I would be near Bella in College! I'm in one of the finest Medical Schools! I would be near home… Words couldn't express my giddiness and relief._

_I made a huge sigh of relief until I heard a small giggle. I turned my head to look at Bella innocently eating her strawberry pie, an amused smile in her face as she chewed on her food. I can't believe she tricked me! Does she have no mercy over my nerves??_

_I stared at her in disbelief when a thought entered my mind. I grinned slyly._

_I made a nonchalant face as I walked up behind her slowly. She didn't turn to me but just focused on her pie. _

"_O Bellaaa…" I whispered beside her ear. She shivered… she shivered?? Was I imagining that?_

"_Yes Edward?" she replied in a sweet voice. _

"_Remember the time when you… "accidentally" pushed me into the pool last year for getting chocolate finger stains in your book?" _

_I heard her gulp and her body suddenly stiffened. "Uhm… N-no…" she stuttered then placed the fork she had in her hands back on the plate. I placed my hands on the kitchen counter on either side of her body preventing any means of escape for her. _

"_Hm…Oh well…" I shrugged. "Maybe I could just remind y…" Bella suddenly sneaked quickly under my right arm and tried to bolt to the front door. I was quicker though! I laughed evilly as I caught up to her and wrapped my arms around her stomach, trapping he as she squealed. "I think I caught a fish out of water!!" I said while laughing. She shrieked as I lifted her up effortlessly in my shoulder. No escaping now._

"_Ah! Whoa… Edward! No.. NO NO!! Put me down you oaf! Don't you dare throw me in the pool, PLEASE! Edward!!" she complained as she pounded her small fists on my back and tried to wiggle out of my grasp. I held her legs firmly so she wouldn't fall as I walked to the pool on the left side of the house, my face as smug as ever. _

**PresentPresentPresent…**

**Carlisle's Point of View**

It was ten o'clock at night when I arrived home. I dropped my keys in the table near the foyer and came to the study to find my wife reading a book in the couch. She glanced up as she saw me come through the door and gave me a sad smile.

I kissed her softly in the lips before I sat beside her.

"How is he?" I asked. I was surprised to not find Edward in Bella's room before I left for work.

Esme sighed, "He hasn't been out of his room since he came this morning."

"He's thinking about College isn't he?" Esme nodded in reply. I can't imagine how hard this must be for my son. It was obvious he didn't want to leave her but I knew for his own good that he has to go. I had to make him see that.

I gave a worried sigh for Edward and Bella.

Bella still hasn't woken up. This is her fifth week and nothing has progressed. I was getting more and more worried everyday. I don't know how long this is going to take… and I don't know how long Edward is going to hold on.

"I have to talk to him." I said, getting up.

"No. You stay here. I'll call him. He has to come out of his room someday…" she said, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nodded as she got up to fetch Edward in his room.

A knock came at the door a minute later and Edward came in looking tired and poignant as ever, wearing sweat pants and a wife beater. He looks like he's lost weight. Dark circles surrounded his eyes.

"Hey, Dad." He said weakly as he sat at the chair opposite me.

"Edward, I was surprised I didn't see you in hospital when I checked on Bella." I began.

He shrugged, looking down. "I just…had to think of some stuff."

I nodded, "Alright. Well, Edward, I wanted to talk to you about College. You would be leaving in a few days and…"

"I'm not going." My son said in a firm voice still not looking at me. I stared at him, quite surprised. Well, I guess at some point I expected this.

"Edward," I tried to reason with him, "you have to go. I know that you think you can't leave Bella but…"

"I don't 'think' that I can't leave Bella, Dad… I 'know' that I can't leave Bella." I noticed the strain in his voice.

"Edward, take a moment and think of what you're about to do here."

"I've already thought about it Dad. I'm not leaving until Bella wakes up." His voice sounded final. I knew I was going to have a hard time talking him out of this.

Edward is not thinking clearly. I had to make him see. Time would be wasted if he didn't start the term in a few days.

"I understand what you're going through, son, but…"

"Do you?!" Edward questioned in a solid voice. He was looking at me now. "Do you understand what I'm going through?!" his voice raising. I sighed solemnly.

"My best friend has been in a coma for five weeks. Five weeks! You say that coma's rarely last more than that and now here she is… still asleep with no progress whatsoever! What if something like this happened to Mom, Dad… would you be able to take it?"

He was angry now; I can see it in his eyes. "Edward, listen… I know you're scared…"

"Scared?!" he uttered in disbelief and stood up. "I'm not scared, Dad. I'm more than that! I'm terrified, I'm frightened, I'm panicked because it just seems that the woman I'm in love with is in this sleep of death and there's no knowing if she's ever going to wake up! I know that she's walking on thin ice now but I just want to be with her the rest of the way!"

I sat there stunned. This was very unlike him.

"And you know what hurts the most!?" he yelled. "On the day of the crash…" tears fell down his eyes. "I was going to tell her!" My eyes widened. " I was going to tell her that I love her! I had everything planned out and then THIS happens! Bella might never know how I truly feel! So you don't know how I feel, Dad! I feel like every second is a knife to my heart and it's only when she's in my arms that I feel like I can breath again… so please! Don't take me away from her!"

I sat there wide-eyed, staring at my son. I couldn't believe what I was hearing; and I can't imagine what my son was going through right now. He was going to tell her… on the day of the crash… Oh God…

Edward stood still now, silent and shaking with his head down. I made my way over to him and gently squeezed his shoulders trying to calm him. "Okay…" I said softly. "Okay, Edward. You can stay…" I reassured him. I felt his stiff form soften as I pulled him in a fatherly hug. My heart broke for what my son was going through. As I let go of him, I put my hands on his shoulders and looked in his solemn green eyes. I don't think he even realized he was crying. "At the moment she wakes up in your arms… tell her… tell her how you feel."

Edward choked a sob and just nodded his head.

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**Edward's Point of View**

I drove back to the hospital thirty minutes after my talk with my father. I've been so out of my circle these days, I didn't mean to take my anger all out to my dad. At least now I don't have to worry about leaving Bella.

I entered the room to find Rosalie Hale inside, sitting on the chair next to Bella.

"Hey!" I said, surprised to find her here.

"Oh… hey Edward." She replied, smiling up at me.

"What are you doing here this late?" I asked as I glanced at the clock… 10:45pm.

Rosalie smoothed Bella's hair; "I'm leaving for College tomorrow. I just had to see her before I leave early in the morning."

I almost chuckled in the coincidence. Thirty minutes ago, I was talking to my Dad about not leaving for College and here's Rosalie right now telling me that she's leaving the day after.

"Oh…" I took off my jacket and sat on the opposite side of the bed after kissing Bella's forehead.

"How are you holding up, sparky?" Rosalie asked. "I'd say you look like crap but I have a feeling you get enough of that from Alice."

I chuckled, "Yep, definitely get a lot of that from Alice. I'm uh… I'm holding up."

She chuckled. "So… when are you leaving for Medical School?"

I sighed, "I'm not going yet…"

She furrowed her eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"I've already spoken to my Dad about it. I'm not leaving for school until Bella wakes up." I explained simply.

Rose gave me a sad look, "Oh…"

We sat there silently for a few minutes just looking at Bella. She has grown paler and thinner… but to me she is still beautiful.

"To tell you the truth…" Rosalie broke the silence, "I was thinking of leaving late for College too." She looked up at me.

"But then I thought…" she continued while looking at Bella with a spark in her eyes, "what Bella would have said if she found out I delayed my start of College just because of her."

I listened to her intently now.

"Well, you know how Bella is… always thinking more of others than she does for herself… and that incredibly stubborn attitude." She shook her head while smiling as I laughed. Bella _is_ the most stubborn person I know.

"Anyway… I know that she wouldn't want that and I knew she would feel bad. If Bella were awake now, she would probably pound me in the head until I agree to leave now and go to college."

My heart warmed at Rosalie's reflection. I had to admit… she was right. Bella didn't want people making big sacrifices for her. She would always feel bad but in the end she would have great gratitude for that person. I remember the countless times she has told me not to worry about her. Bella was always the selfless one; always caring about others more than she cared for herself.

Then a thought occurred to me. _'What would she think if I stayed?'_ … Sigh. That's not a question… She would disapprove of me staying instead of leaving for College.

"Anyway… I have to go. Long drive tomorrow." Rosalie got up from the chair and kissed Bella's forehead. "Love you, Bells. I'll see you soon!" After grabbing her purse she came over to me and touched my shoulder, "Take care, Edward." I nodded and smiled at her in reply, "you too, Rose."

After one last glance to Bella, she turned to the door.

"Wait!" I said suddenly. Rosalie turned to me, her hand on the knob.

"Uhm… what gave you the courage to leave, Rose?" I asked suddenly. It seemed like an inappropriate question, but I just had to ask it.

Rosalie shrugged and gave me a small smile, "I just thought of what Bella would have wanted. It's obvious she would want me to go right? I… I wouldn't want to make her feel bad… so, I decided to just comply with her silent wishes." With one last smile, she closed the door behind her.

I contemplated Rosalie's reflection.

_'What Bella would have wanted…'_

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**Again… sorry for the wait… I had to help with some wedding preparations :)**

**Pardon me for Grammar please**

**READ: okay you guys… here's the catch… do you want me to ****update faster but with shorter chapters**** or to ****update longer with longer chapters****??**

**Review? :)**


	5. A Lullaby for Remembrance

**Thanks for all the reviews you guys! :D Love ya all! **

**Once again, pardon for the typo and grammatical errors :) **

**Disclaimer: Okay... i'm sure everyone here knows that Stephenie Meyer owns everything!**

**Here we go… Chapter 5**

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**Chapter 5: A Lullaby for Remembrance**

**Date: September 10, 2007 (Monday)**

**Edward's Point of View**

I lay next to Bella on the Hospital bed at five in the morning. Everything was silent still, except for the sound of the heart monitor. I was in the same position as always. Laying in my side facing Bella with my arm draped across her chest. I brought my face closer to her hair and breathed in while closing my eyes. She still smells as sweet as ever.

I savored the moment because I knew that this was the last night I would sleep beside her before I have to leave.

It wasn't easy convincing myself that I had to leave. After my talk with Rosalie, I suddenly imagined Bella talking me into going to College. It wasn't that hard to imagine our conversation. I had a feeling that I would know exactly what she would say.

My parents were quite shocked when they found out that I changed my mind about leaving. But I know they were relieved. I had to pack everything and contact my dorm in two days. It was hard to pack with the image of Bella in my head… but I had to do it.

Sighing, I let my lips linger on her cheek as I caressed her face with my fingers. Goosebumps filled my body.

'This is silly' I told myself. In three days I would be going back here anyway… It'll be her birthday on the thirteenth…

Groan… Fate is cruel. Would they allow Bella to be asleep on her eighteenth birthday? It's not fair. I've been making up plans for this day ever since the start of the summer.

It's still early, but last night I thought of something I just had to do for Bella before leaving for Seattle.

I kissed her softly on the cheek before getting out of the bed. I grabbed my bag and the two vases of wilted flowers to bring home. After one last glance, I slowly made my way out of the room.

There wasn't much hustle and bustle this early in the morning. Patients were obviously still asleep… which is why I was surprised to see a little brown haired girl in pajamas standing in front of the vending machine on my way to the lobby.

I stopped in my tracks as I noticed her lip quivering. What is she doing up this early? She looked to be about four or five years old.

"Hello, little girl…" I said silently so I wouldn't surprise her.

She looked up at me with her big watery blue eyes and whimpered. _Oh no… wait don't cry…_ I set the vases down on the floor and walked up to her, bending my knee so I could face her.

"Oh wait… I won't hurt you. It's okay." I assured her. She sniffed and looked back longingly at the vending machine. Hmm… she must be hungry.

"Do you want anything in there?" I asked, pointing to the vending machine.

She wiped her eyes adorably with the sleeve of her pajamas. I almost chuckled at the printed pj's. Patrick Star from Spongebob Squarepants. "My friend woke up and said that he was thirsty. I wanted to get him some juice but I don't know how…sniff."

Aaawww…. I can't say no to that. I smiled at her sweet gesture. She would get out of bed this early in the morning just to give her friend some juice? Isn't she even afraid of the dark in this hospital?

I used the sleeve of my jacket to wipe the remaining tears from her eyes, "Well then…" I smiled to her, "guess we better get your friend something to drink little miss."

Her face brightened as she smiled at me. I reached for a few quarters in my pocket and dropped it in the vending machine. "Would you want apple, orange or grape, Ma'm?"

"Apple!" she giggled.

I grinned as I pushed the button and handed her the small pack of apple juice. "Here you go, little miss." She held the pack with two little hands and looked up to me, smiling. "Thank you, kind sir!" she curtsied and ran off to the rooms.

I chuckled. She was too cute. Hmm… and when did I notice that she had a British accent???

Curiosity sparked me. What is she here for? Aren't the parents watching her? At the last minute, I decided to follow her down the hall towards the children's ward. She turned to the room on her right. I was relieved to see that she didn't have to travel far.

I leaned against the wall near the doorframe and peeked my head inconspicuously.

There was a sleepy looking boy with blonde hair wrapped up in a blanket in the bed. IV's and monitors were hooked to his body. It looked like he just came from a surgery. I got kind of panicked. Apple juice may not be good for him right now. I glanced at the clipboard near the door and silently pulled it out of the case.

As I flipped through the files, I was relieved to see that he didn't have any problems with his digestive system but I got quite concerned to see that he just came out of a heart surgery a couple of days ago. The little boy's name is Jackson Downey and he's only five years old. So young… to have a heart surgery.

"Thank you so much, Ellie." I heard the boy say.

I turned my attention back to the children in the room.

So 'Ellie' is the little girl's name. She was standing at the side of the bed with Jackson on his side sipping on his apple juice. "You know I told you not to get it…" he whispered.

"I know! But I went anyway…" she replied.

I almost chucked. She sounds just like Bella.

"Well, at least have a sip… I won't be able to finish it anyway." Said Jack, handing her the drink.

"No, it's all right, I'm okay. Just save it for later then…"

I made a silent snigger. Yep! Definitely sounds like Bella.

"Just take a sip, Ellie. You went all the way to the v machine to get this." He pushed.

Ellie hesitated but she complied, "Oh… alright."

I smiled at the display. It's wonderful to have a best friend starting at this age. It made me miss Bella all the more.

"Don't go running off again okay! You know I can't walk and follow you right now. It's still pretty dark." Said Jackson.

"Oh stop fussing over me Jacky. You're the one who's sick here."

"I'm not that sick anymore…"

"But your doctor said that you needed more rest… just let me take care of you for a while 'till you feel loads better, okay?"

I couldn't stop smiling as I watched them. They reminded me of Bella and I. Even as a child, I was always protective of her; and even as a child, Bella was as stubborn as ever. We both took care of each other in every way.

**7yearsold7yearsold7yearsold…**

_It was another rainy day in Forks. The clouds are gray, the rain is pouring, thunder strikes across the clouds and feel the lightning blink in through your window. The room was dark and the only light you could see was through the window in the gray rainy afternoon. _

"_ACHOO!!!" I sniffed. _

_This is not a good day to be sick. I lay in bed under my blanket all day with cough and colds. An ice pack rested on my forehead but it didn't do any good. _

_This sucks! I hate being sick. Sure you get to miss a few days of school but it comes with a price. Headaches…a runny nose…insomnia… for three days. I haven't been out of the house since I got sick and I wasn't even allowed to see my friends. I hated these past three days! Why'd I have to get sick? _

_My whole body felt very hot and beads of sweat fell from my forehead. _

_The door to my room opened a few minutes later and my mother came in. She gave me a soft smile and I weakly returned it. "How are you feeling, dear?" Mom sat at the edge of my bed and placed her hand upon my forehead, checking my temperature._

_I sniffed, "I can't sleep, Mom…"_

_Mom made a worried look. "Well… your father said it was just a regular cold. We just have to let it pass. Did you drink your medicine?" I nodded weakly in reply. _

_She sighed, "Is there anything you need right now?" I shook my head and wrapped the blanket tighter around me as I sneezed again. _

"_Hmm…" a spark appeared in my mothers eyes. "You try to rest for a while, dear. I'll be back." And with that, she left the room. _

_A soft knock came to the door about twenty minutes later and my mother peeked her head through. "Edward…" she whispered, "someone's here to see you!"_

_I noticed a small head peeking through and I was overwhelmed by the smell of strawberries. "Bella!" I said a little too enthusiastically. _

_She smiled as she practically ran to the side of my bed. She was dressed in her pj's and a jacket so I guess my mom just called on her now. "I missed you, Edward!" she said softly. "Missed you too, Bella." I replied. It was really unnatural to not see her in three days. _

"_I figured you'd be happy to see her." My mother said as she came behind Bella and placed her hands on Bella's shoulders. Of course I would be happy to see her. _

_I made a tiny sneeze but I covered my face with my blanket. I wouldn't want Bella to catch my cold. Bella chuckled,, "you're all snuffles, Eddie." She said. My mother sniggered. "I'll get you some more water, Edward. You stay here, Bella dear." Bella nodded as my mother left the room. _

_Bella placed her hand on my forehead with a sad look in her face. I liked the feeling. Her hand was cool against my warm body. "Will you get better soon, Ed?" _

_I sniffed, "Dunno… you shouldn't stay too close… Dad says I might get you guys sick too (sniff). That's why I ain't allowed to go out." _

"_Well…then we'll get sick together! School's not fun without you ya know…and besides, it's you who's sick here so don't worry about me." she said as she started to climb up my bed. _

"_Bella…" I silently pushed, "I don't want you to get sick…"_

"_Hmph… I'll just stay here." Bella settled herself at the foot of my bed. I sighed. _

"_Ya know, it's a bit funny… I was the one who fell into the pond last Sunday and for some reason it's you who got sick."_

_I chuckled. "Yeah… weird." _

"_What's been going on in school?" I asked, curious. _

_Bella shrugged, "You didn't really miss much in class. But there's this new girl that just came in. Her name's Alice and she's really nice but she… kinda talks a lot." _

_I chuckled. "She has a huge collection of Barbies in the picture she showed me and she even made me promise to be her personal barbie one day." She continued and I smirked. The idea of Bella being a Barbie for someone… poor Bells._

"_Oh!" she clapped her hands. "And when we were painting yesterday, Emmet got pink paint all over Jasper's hair! It was really funny!" she laughed and I as well. _

"_What was Emmet doing with 'pink' paint?" I asked. Emmet doesn't like girly colors._

_Bella chuckled, came closer to me and whispered, "I saw him making a secret drawing for Rosalie! He doesn't want anyone to know so 'shh'" I laughed!_

"_What about you? What have you been doing in bed?" _

_I frowned, "Nothing really. I only get out of bed to go to the bathroom, really. I hate being sick!" I sniffed. _

_A loud thunder cracked the sky, as the storm seemed to be getting worse. Bella flinched and scooted closer to me. I don't like it when she gets scared. _

"_You know… next time there's a storm like this, we could make hot chocolate and stay in front of the fireplace… so we won't get scared of the thunder." I said, trying to make her feel better. _

_She smiled, "Yeah, that sounds like a lot of fun. We've never done hot chocolate in a storm before. It's all board games and TV. I hope school is canceled tomorrow, then I get to spend the day with you. I'll help you get better, Ed." _

_I smiled. Hopefully, school IS canceled tomorrow. _

_The door opened and my mom came in giving me a glass of water and checking my temperature. "Well, it's not getting worse, that's for sure. Just relax sweetie." She replaced the ice pack on my head. Then she turned to Bella, "I'm sorry, Bella but the storm is getting worse and we have to get you home as quickly as possible." Bella frowned as she climbed down the bed. _

_Why'd Bella have to leave so soon? She just got here. My face matched Bella's sad one. _

"_Okay, Esme…" then she turned to me. I just gave her a weak smile._

_Sadly, I watched her make her way to the door with my mom, but at the last second she ran back to me. "Get better soon, okay Ed?" then she cupped my face and kissed me in the nose. My body shivered… in a good way. She gave me one last smile then left to join my mom who had an amused look in her face. _

_I better get well soon!_

_My nose tickled where Bella kissed me and I made a laugh of pure delight. _

_School got canceled the next day and I started to feel a lot better. Bella came over and we spent the entire day with a cup of hot chocolate in our hands!_

**PresentPresentPresent…**

I left the little children to sleep as I went back to the Lobby and to my car.

The drive back was silent and gray. Not much cars were in the road so I was home in 10 minutes. After placing the vases and my keys in the table of the foyer, I silently made my way upstairs to grab my boombox.

A thought occurred to me last night. If I couldn't be with Bella everyday, hopefully the presence of my music would be enough.

Bella's Lullaby.

One of my most proud and favorite compositions.

**10yearsold10yearsold10yearsold…**

"_Edward...what's this all about? Can't you just tell me what the surprise is? You know I hate surprises." Whined Bella as I dragged her across the foyer of my house. _

"_Don't worry! You'll like it, Bella! I promise!" I was so excited to play her my composition. I've finally finished yesterday what I've been preparing for months. I pulled her into the living room where my baby grand piano rested and sat her down beside me on the bench. _

_She stared at me, bemused. Smiling, I raised a finger to silence her then I lifted the piano lid. _

"_Just listen." _

_Then I began to play Bella's Song._

_This music reminded me of her every time I looked at her. The tune has been embedded in my mind ever since but it was only until a few months ago that I decided to play it. I had no idea it would sound so beautiful in the piano so I spent that last three months perfecting the melody. It was soft and gentle just like her._

_As my hands drifted with ease across the keys, I glanced at Bella. Her eyes were closed and a soft smile placed her lips. I felt a slight tickle in my body as the blush appeared in my face. She always closes her eyes when she listens to me play and it's such a sweet sight to see. _

She's always so pretty like this…

_As I neared the end of the melody, my eyes closed to their own accord to feel the music flow. Bella's face danced in my mind as the last three notes drifted away. _

_I glanced up nervously to see Bella's reaction. _

_She opened her eyes slowly and gave me a soft smile. "That was so pretty, Edward! What's the name of the song?" _

_I looked down sheepishly at the hands on my lap. "I don't really have a name for it yet-"_

"_You mean you made this song?" Bella asked in astonishment. Her eyes wide as she looked at me. _

"_Yeah…" I smirked. "You're the first person who's heard it." _

_The smile on Bella's face never left as she looked at the piano then back at me. _

"_So… do you like it?" I asked nervously._

_Bella reached over and placed her hands on top of mine. "I Love it, Edward! It was so beautiful!!" she smiled. _

_I blushed, "Thanks, Bella." Of course it's beautiful… the song is all about her. _

"_But we have to think of a name for it." She placed her finger under her chin and wondered. "You know… it sorta sounds like a lullaby." _

_My face brightened. Perfect!_

_Bella looked at me, confused. I just smiled in reply._

_I grabbed the pencil sitting on top of my piano and leaned forward to write on top of the piano sheet._

_**~Bella's Lullaby~**_

_She's right. It does sound like a lullaby. _

"_There you go!" I smiled and looked at her bemused face. "Good enough for ya?"_

"_B-but… Why… why my name?" she stuttered looking confused as she looked at me. _

" '_Cause it's your song." I said nonchalantly as if it were the simplest question in the world. "I wrote it for you." I smirked. _

_Her eyes widened, "You wrote this for me?" she asked slowly. _

_I nodded, "Mhm." _

_She turned speechless and just stared at me. _

_Well, I didn't know any other way to say that I wrote this for her. So I just decided to say it as plain as day. Suddenly feeling shy, I fumbled with the edge of my shirt._

"_It's just…"I started, "I don't know. The melody reminds me of you… It has always reminded me of you. But, it was only a while ago that I started to play it." _

_I glanced back up at her and she gave me the sweetest smile, I felt my heart melt and my stomach fill with butterflies. I felt the blood rush to my cheeks…_

"_Anyway…" I gave a nervous chuckle. "It was nothing much… just… just a few notes here and there…and uh…I ju-…" I was suddenly cut off when I felt my body being squeezed by soft arms. Jitters ran up my spine. _

"_Thank you, Edward." She said softly as she looked back up to me. Then she kissed me on the cheek which made me blush all the more; my skin burned where she kissed me. It felt wonderful! A goofy smile filled my face as I hugged her back. Normally, boys my age would run away from girl's kisses, but I yearned for more of Bella's. _

"_Can you… play it again?" she asked, her eyes getting all watery. _

_I chuckled, reaching for the handkerchief in my pocket. "As long as you don't cry much." I reached it out to her. I'm so glad that she liked it!_

_She chuckled and nudged me lightly on the shoulder. "I'll try." _

_Placing my fingers back on the keys, I started to play it again…_

_Bella's Lullaby…_

**PresentPresentPresent…**

The last three notes reverberated and disappeared throughout the house as I finished recording the song. Then I pressed the stop recording button from my boombox which was mounted on top of my piano. The wall clock ticked six o'clock in the morning and I had to leave Forks by nine. After closing the piano lid, I made a long sigh. I was exhausted. I didn't have much sleep last night because of the thought of leaving. My mind felt like it was in shambles.

Well, I guess there's no point in lying around.

I took the boombox and headed out the door to my car.

The hospital was still quiet when I arrived and so was Bella's room. Every time I would enter that door, my heart would always race. One would never know that she would wake at any second. But I was still greeted by the silence of the room and my sleeping Bella. I hooked my boombox to the outlet and laid it in the left side of the room beside the window ledge. I pressed the play button and Bella's Lullaby filled the room.

_There… that feels better. Music replacing the silence._

Dread filled me at the thought of leaving her soon. I just stood beside the boombox listening to the lullaby. Every night we slept in the same bed, I would hum the tune to her. I liked to think that it would make her sleep with good dreams. Listening to this Lullaby made me imagine angels singing along with it. It's beautiful… just like her.

I sat at the chair beside the bed and looked up to her face. Five weeks and nothing still…

"I hope the music will make you feel better, Bella." I whispered to her as I took her hand in mine. "You won't have to listen to the silence anymore… or the sound of the heart monitor."

I always did this… talk. She wouldn't be able to reply but just being able to let out words to her made me feel better.

"Do you remember the first time I played you this song? We were only ten years old and you got all teary eyed." I chuckled. "You know what? I always hummed this to you at night when you're already asleep. And… whenever I do… you would smile." I sighed softly. "I miss seeing you smile, Bella."

"I'm leaving in a few hours… for college, but I'll be back on the thirteenth!" I started to play with her fingers. "Come on Bells… you'll be 18 in three days. You wouldn't want to be asleep on that day now would you?"

I let a moment of silence pass by before I spoke again, "I wasn't supposed to leave you know? I wanted to stay here with you until you wake up but…" I sighed, "I know you'd beat me in the head until I decide to go…"

My head touched the bed and I used Bella's palm as a soft pillow. "Remember when… I got accepted to UW Medical and I told you several times before that that I wanted to get in because it was my number one choice? Well… that's not the only reason. I wanted to get in there so I could be closer to you. I don't think I would be able to take months without seeing you as we study College."

A mount of sadness overcame me as I realized what I have been saying. I've been confessing some certain things that could make Bella realize that I have feelings for her but she's not awake to hear it. If only I could turn back time and prevent all this from happening.

Closing my eyes, I let sleep overcome me for a short while as I rested on Bella's hand, only to be woken up a couple of hours later.

"Hey, Edward…" said a male voice. I woke up from my short sleep to see Ben Cheney hovering over me. Rubbing my eyes, I glanced at the clock to see that it was already 8:30. I have to leave in thirty minutes…

"Ben… what are you doing here?"

"Your Mom told me you'd be here." He gave me a sad look and looked at Bella. "Sorry dude, but we have to leave soon." I nodded in understanding and made a deep breath.

"Yeah… I know. Uhm, I'll… I'll meet you in the Lobby. Can you just give me a couple of minutes?" My voice was weak.

Ben and I have agreed to drive together to Seattle. Ben, his girlfriend Angela, and I are the only ones in our class who got accepted in UW Medical. Angela left Forks already yesterday while Ben agreed to drive with me today.

Ben gave me a sad smile and touched Bella's hand in a friendly way before leaving the room.

I sat down in that chair for a minute trying to compose myself. The fact that Bella's lullaby sounded the air made it quite easier though. Walking over to the head of the bed, I leaned down to be closer to her face. I'm going to miss this scent even if it's only for a short while. I cupped her face and touched my forehead with hers as my eyes closed to their own accord.

_I love you, Bella._

Tears were threatening to escape my eyes but I wouldn't allow it. I have to be strong for this.

Breathing in her scent one last time, I placed butterfly kisses all over her face and buried my face in her hair.

_If I don't do this now, I don't think I would ever do. _

So I made it quick, I forced myself away from Bella and sprinted to the door without looking back. I closed the door behind me and took a deep breath while leaning into it. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I tried to control my breathing.

As I walked away, my heart felt hollow; but I already knew why…

My heart stayed with her and I'm positive that it would never ever leave her side.

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**Author's Note:**

**A thousand apologies for the late update but things have been going on right now and the internet is staggeringly slow in my house. But it'll only be until mid-December. **

**I'll be updating a bit slow until then… I'm sorry but I PROMISE that I will finish this story :)**

**REVIEW? If you want a sneak-peak into the next chappie :)**


	6. Birthdays and Driving Skills

**Thanks for all the awesome reviews, you guys!!! They make me happy! :) And they make me write faster too!**

**Now, a lot of you people are asking if Bella will wake up and if she would return Edward's feelings… well, I can't give away the fire now can I?? :D **

**Just keep reading and reviewing and I promise that you won't be disappointed…**

**About the sneak peaks! Some of you guys reviewed but didn't include your email address… so next time please do so :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight :) **

**To MysticIce24: thanks for noticing my booboo in the dates :D i owe ya one! **

**Here goes!...**

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**Chapter 6: Birthdays and Driving Skills**

**Date: September 13, 2007 (Thursday)**

**Edward's POV**

It's silly, really… I've only been gone for 3 days and I miss her already.

On my first day here in Seattle, it was spent fixing the dorm I shared with Ben and fixing the paperwork required for the school. This was not how I imagined my first day in Seattle would be. If Bella were here… things would be different.

Bella would help me fix my dorm and she'd make side comments about how much of a mess my packed things are. After that, I'd help her fix her dorm which would be clean in Bella's style as usual then we'd go out for some ice cream to celebrate the beginning of our College lives. It sounds juvenile, I know… going out for some ice cream to celebrate. But it's what we've been doing since we were little kids and you know how much kids love ice cream, so we decided to keep it that way. It's like tradition for both of us and I've always enjoyed doing it.

After fixing the dorm and the school paperwork on the first day, I took a drive alone to the Seattle University. The school was quiet when I arrived. Of course it was because I drove there at night when my watch ticked at ten thirty. It's not like I had anything better to do anyway. One thing that heightened my spirits, however was finding out that the drive from my school to Bella's was only ten minutes without traffic. I thought that I would be at least forty minutes away…

At the second day, school started. I was impressed with the campus of UW Medical however the hustle and bustle was a little too much for me to handle after spending weeks of silence in the hospital waiting for Bella to wake up. The orientation lasted for three boring hours in the College Auditorium and there were only about a hundred of us. Every year, UW Medical only accepts about one hundred students out of the thousands that apply. The school may only be a small campus but it's one of the most prestigious, almost tying with John Hopkins University and Harvard Medical.

Today is Thursday… and the day the real class started. I sat in my dorm early this morning and marked the calendar.

_September 13. Bella's eighteenth birthday._

I called my father this morning to check on Bella's progress but I was met with the same answer… nothing still.

Classes went by in a blur through my eyes. I don't even think I made a good first impression to my professors or my classmates. Whenever my professors called on me, I'd answer in a lame voice or wouldn't answer at all. Some people tried to be friendly but I shrugged them off, not wanting to be bothered.

So much for making a good first impression…

But I couldn't help it. All that I could think of today was Bella and how much I was looking forward to driving back to Forks to see her. It's hard to sleep without her in my arms already…

Classes ended at five in the afternoon and I hurried back to my dorm to get ready. I rushed everything in ten minutes and headed to my car in the student parking lot.

As I opened the door, a voice called, "Hey Edward! Wait up!" I turned around to see Ben and Angela running towards me. I glanced at the vase of Yellow Sunflowers in Ben's hands.

"Hey Ben…Angela. What's up?" I asked. They stopped in front of me for a bit to catch their breath. I looked at them, puzzled. Wonder what's got them so worked up.

Ben glanced at his watch, "Man, you get ready fast!" I gave him a confused look but chuckled anyway. I guess I did get ready pretty fast.

"Sorry Edward," Angela started while smiling, "you see…we know that it's Bella's birthday today and… well, we were wondering if we could hitch a ride with you to see her, I mean… you're going to Forks right now, right?"

"Oh!" I replied. I smiled at their intention to go and see Bella. I can't say I'm surprised though; Bella's good friends with Ben and Angela as well. Then I realized, my mind has been too preoccupied with thoughts of seeing Bella soon that I didn't even bother to ask Ben or Angela if they wanted to come along too.

"Oh! Only if it's okay! We wouldn't want to impose or anything…" she said quickly.

"Of course! I guess I should have asked you two earlier if you wanted to come along." I said, scratching the back of my head.

They chuckled. "No harm done, dude." Said Ben.

"Are those for Bella?" I asked gesturing to the flowers in Ben's hands.

"Yup!" he chuckled.

"You really don't mind, Edward?" asked Angela.

"Not at all you guys." I smiled and gestured for them to enter the car. Ben took the passenger seat while Angela took to the back.

"It's gonna be a long drive… might as well put on some music." I said while buckling my seatbelt and turning on the radio.

"I hope the traffic won't be that bad. They get pretty nasty at this time." Said Ben.

I smirked, "don't worry, I know a shortcut."

"Please tell me that that shortcut isn't speed driving?!" Angela teased at the back.

I was taken aback, "How in the world do you know about that?"

She chuckled, "Well… Bella… uhm, told me about it…" she grew quiet and started to play with her fingers; I noticed Ben stiffen slightly beside me. Sigh… Ben must have asked her to keep mentioning Bella in a low profile in front of me. They know it's still hard for me.

"Oh…" was my only silent reply as I started the car and drove away.

The drive back was spent with comfortable silence with the usual chit chatter in between but I kept my eyes mostly at the road, sometimes drifting off to thoughts of Bella…

Bella always complained about my driving skills. I liked to drive fast and my reflexes were pretty good so I had no problem with running into accidents.

…accidents…

I gave a deep sigh. Well, I've never tried to beat the red light, that's for sure. I'm not like that blasted Tyler.

_I don't think that's the point, Edward_… said a voice in my head.

I suddenly felt grim. My foot involuntarily released the gas paddle lightly to drive slower. I guess my driving skills are going to change for now.

**Edward16yearsold…Bella15yearsold…**

"_AAaaAaaaaAAHhhhhHHhh!!!"_

"WwwHHOOooHhOooOooAaaA!!!"

_The feeling is Amazing! There was thrill and excitement filled in every cell of my body and it encouraged me to go even faster. The wind blew in my face and I breathed in the fresh air of the empty road. The mixed scent of the new leather of the car seats, strawberries and the wind brought about a pleasant wave of vigor and force throughout my spirit!_

_Aaah! Nothing could ruin this mo-…_

"_EDWARD!!! SLOW DOWN THE DAMN CA—AAAAhHHH!!!" Bella shrieked like a girl about to be thrown off a cliff in the passenger's seat beside me as I made a sharp U-turn on the road. I couldn't help but laugh at her cute little disposition. Ever since I sped up on the empty roadway she couldn't stop screaming whereas I couldn't stop whoot-ing. _

"_HAHA!! COME ON BELLS! FEEL THE ELECTRICITY!!!"_

"_I DON'T WANT TO FEEL THE ELECTRICITY!!!" _

_I just turned sixteen three weeks ago and earned my driver's license a week after that. Since my Mom and Dad trusted me enough to drive a car by myself, as a birthday gift they gave me this Volvo. I couldn't believe it! My first car is a Volvo and it's the latest model too! A 2006 S80 Silver Volvo! I almost had an anxiety attack when I saw this baby sitting in the driveway yesterday after I got home from school. If only you could hear this baby purr. Bella was speechless as well when I called to tell her about it. I promised that she would be the first person to drive on that passenger's seat!… well, after my Dad. He let me run it with him yesterday :) _

_Well… judging by Bella's screaming, I bet she's hoping that I didn't make that promise…_

_Bella gripped her seat and hung on to her seatbelt as if it were her lifeline as she screamed when I made another sharp U-turn. _

"_EDWARD ANTHONY!!! IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS CAR RIGHT NOW, I SWEAR THAT I WILL PUKE ALL OVER YOUR NEW LEATHER CAR SEATS!!!" _

_That did it… _

_I slowed down the car before stopping it at the side of the road but I couldn't keep the smile off my face. "EXHILERATING! Isn't it Bells?" She didn't reply. I turned to her. "Bells…?" My eyes widened it slight amusement as I took her in. _

_Her hair was in disarray due to the open car windows, her hands were gripping the car seats which made her knuckles seem to appear white and… to top it all off… she looks like she's seen a ghost. _

"_Ehe…" I scratched my head while smirking, "I guess I was a little too fast, wasn't I?"_

_She made a tiny squeaky noise, "Fast… that wasn't fast!" She turned to me, her eyes burning and drilling holes into my skull. "That was DOWNRIGHT DAREDEVIL MOTHER 'EFFING SPEED OF LIGHT FAST!!!" I winced at her proclamation but couldn't help chuckling a bit. _

"_Sorry Bells, I couldn't help it." _

"_You didn't even follow the speed limit of the road." She complained gesturing to the roadway in front of us._

"_Bella… we're in Route 23. Hardly anyone ever passes here this early in the morning and I asked permission from your Dad so no harm done!" I smirked. Well, that was only technically true. I only asked Charlie if I could drive down this road to test out my car… I didn't actually mention anything about speeding._

_Groaning, she released a puff of air and leaned back on the car seat, closing her eyes. "Edward…" _

"_Yes?" I answered._

"_Take your hands off the steering wheel." _

_I raised my eyebrows. "That's uh, a weird thing to say." I said as I stared at my hands that are firmly gripping the wheel of the car. _

"_Just take your hands off of them."_

_I hesitated. I found myself not wanting to let go. It's like my hands were glued to them. "But, but, I don't want to."_

"_Edward, please take your hands off the wheel." She pleaded. _

"_But, the wheel connects me to the car…"_

_She gave me a look._

"_The wheel gives me essence! Spirit! Thrill!" I protested._

"_Well, for your own good I would like to take you off the essence, spirit and thrill for now."_

"_But why!" I complained like a five year old boy. _

"_Oh! Would you just do it, Ed!" Bella pushed. _

_I pouted slightly. _

_She turned her head away. "That won't work on me now… get your hands of the wheel for at least five minutes please!" _

_I gave a sigh then slowly released my hands from the wheel, automatically feeling the energy leaving me. I sat back, crossed my arms and groaned._

_Bella chuckled, "You know you deserve it. You were going 50 miles over the speed limit!" _

"_It was only 45 miles over the speed limit." I pouted. _

"_Oh stop sulking, Edward. You know very well who you're driving with here. Daughter of the Chief of Forks? Ring any bells?" _

"_Hey, I asked permission from Charlie." I defended. _

"_I don't think I remember you mentioning driving 50 miles over the limit." She smiled. _

"_45 miles!"_

"_Oh, what's the difference, Ed!" _

"_5 miles is a pretty big difference!"_

_She raised her eyebrows at me. Sigh… "okay, it's not that big of a difference" I surrendered. _

_Bella reached over and changed the radio station to find a more mellow song. After a few minutes of relaxing, she spoke. "It's nice to see the sun coming out of the clouds for a change. Spring is finally here." She smiled. Spring is Bella's favorite season. She would hang out it my mother's garden all the time and help her with the flowers and plants. Every time I would see her there, I'd always wish to have a camera in my hands and take a picture. It's truly breathtaking to see Bella in the sunlight surrounded by a garden of flowers. Sigh, I'm entirely smitten aren't I? _

"_Yeah. Which also means that we'll have more rainy days to come." I smiled and she did as well. "Therefore…" _

"_Classes would be canceled on some days and we would be drinking hot chocolate in front of the fireplace." Bella finished, giving me a knowing smile. We've been doing this 'hot chocolate on a rainy day' tradition ever since we were kids and I absolutely enjoy every second of it! Bella's hot chocolate is utterly delightful. She came up with the recipe herself when we were only eleven years old. Well, what can I say? Bella's full of surprises._

_I made a deep breath, taking in the morning air. "I can't wait to drive this baby to school!" I said enthusiastically. 'A lot of them would be so jealous' said my evil side. _

_Bella laughed, "Yeah, you'd be making a great deal of them really jealous." She teased. _

"_And! I can't wait to see the looks on Emmet and Jasper's faces!" … and the rest of the male population. _

"_Uh! You are incredibly evil!" Bella chuckled._

_I laughed, "An incredibly evil sixteen year old with the latest Volvo! And the good news is that we don't have to use the school bus anymore." I said, placing my hands behind me head._

"_Uh, 'we'?" Bella asked, looking at me with a quizzical brow. _

"_Yeah!" I replied quickly. "Come on, Bells! You only live down the street. You don't think I would let my best friend use the school bus when I finally have a car of my own to drive would you?" I smiled._

_Bella gave me a breathtaking smile. I almost melted right there on the car seat. "It's nice to see that you're not hogging this car all to yourself. For a minute there I thought I was being replaced!" she teased._

_I faked shock and clutched my chest, "I'm appalled that you would even think that, Bells! You know just where to hit it don't you?"_

_She laughed and hit me lightly on the shoulder, "Oh stop being such a drama queen, Edward." _

_I guffawed, "A drama queen? That the best you can do??"_

_She shrugged, "I don't know… what is a boy version of a drama queen? Drama King seems pretty lame to say."_

"_Hmm… how about Mr. Sensitivity?? Seems more appealing to the ear." I suggested._

_Bella smiled, "Alright! Let's try that again, shall we." _

_I chuckled but complied anyway, "Okay…" Then I did a reenactment of my last line. "I'm appalled that you would even think that, Bells! You know just where to hit it don't you?" _

_I was laughing uncontrollably inside. Bella and I did stuff like this all the time. We'd do seemingly pointless things and laugh about it right after. _

_Bella reenacted her last move and hit me lightly on the shoulder again. "Oh stop being such a 'Mr. Sensitivity', Edward!" she emphasized._

_There was a short moment of silence before we laughed out loud at our childish behavior._

"_I think Mr. Sensitivity suits well!" Bella said sarcastically. _

"_I never should have mentioned it then. You're going to tease me about that aren't you?" _

"_You know me too well, Mr. Cullen!" We laughed. _

_I glanced at the car's clock, "Well, it looks like the five minutes is up, Ms. Swan! Actually 8 minutes have passed. What do you propose we do now?" I smiled as I once again placed my hands on the steering wheel. _

_She looked at me, once again with that breathtaking smile, "So from now on, you are going to pick me up at my house, drive me to school and at the end of the day, drive me back home?" _

_I smiled, "Not just that, Bells." I turned my keys and started the car. Bella looked at me, confused. _

"_Uhm, what else is there to do?" _

_I smirked, "Want to go to Port Angeles? La Bella Italia will open soon? You love their breakfast." I said, trying to prove my point._

_Bella's face brightened. I knew she couldn't resist this. "Okay!" she smiled. "But I will pay for my meal this time!" she pointed out._

_I sighed, "Guess I would just have to beat you to the check then!" I whispered as I started driving._

"_I heard that, Edward." She said, firmly._

"_Heard what?" I asked innocently. _

_She chuckled, "Promise me one thing, though."_

"_Anything." I replied, looking at her._

"_Promise me you won't act like a total maniac who drives over the speed limit all the time. What would happen if you run into an accident?" she said worriedly. _

_My heart softened at her concern, "I promise, Bella." That seemed to satisfy her. Then I continued, "And whenever I do go above the limit, I promise to be extra careful!" _

_Bella groaned. "You can never be too careful, Edward."_

**PresentPresentPresent…**

We arrived at Forks Hospital at 8:40 PM. By this time, I was itching to run inside and see her again. After stretching my body outside the car, I went to the back to get the small vase of flowers to give to Bella.

"Aww! Those are so cute! What flowers are they?" asked Angela as we walked to the entrance.

"They're Stephanotis flowers. Bella's favorite." I replied, looking down at the small, white, five-petaled flowers. I even added a few blue roses to the bouquet. I've been buying these flowers for Bella every week since the day I first visited her in the hospital. They weren't extravagant flowers. Just simple and elegant… like Bella.

I didn't want to give her Birthday gift yet. I'm saving it until after she wakes up. I bought her gift before the accident. So I've had it with me for a while.

We walked briskly going to Bella's room. Actually, I walked briskly… Ben and Angela walked fast to keep up with me.

As I entered Bella's room, I was astounded and stopped midway in the open door.

"Edward! Finally you're here!" hollered Emmet as he made his way clapping me in the shoulder.

The room was filled… literally 'filled' with flowers, balloons, greetings and gifts. My mother, Charlie, Renee, Billy Black, and Jacob sat in one corner while other sat Rose and Jasper.

After exchanging pleasantries with everyone, I came next to Bella wanting to kiss her but I knew better than to do anything quite romantic in front of a room full of people and Charlie. Sigh, just seeing her made breathing easier.

"Hey Bells." I whispered, touching her hand.

"Wow! It's like a gift shop threw up in here!" chuckled Ben.

We laughed.

"Yeah. People have been coming and going since yesterday. I lost count after fifty." Said Charlie. I noticed the dark circles under his eyes.

"Well, I'd say I counted at least fifty 'today'." Chuckled Billy Black.

"Can't say I'm surprised." Said Rosalie. "Everyone loves Bella." True.

"Alice isn't here?" I asked while finding a space to put the flowers I bought Bella.

Jasper shook his head, "She couldn't come because of a class trip but she was here yesterday. The big red box over there is from her." Jasper smiled, pointing behind me. The box was decorated most ardently.

I smiled, setting down the flowers, "Should have known that was from Alice."

"Happy Birthday, Bells." I whispered to her, unconsciously running my fingers through her hair. It's not fair for her to be asleep on her birthday. It felt so good to see and touch her again. Even when asleep, it fills me with goosebumps.

"I can't believe she's already 18. It seems just like yesterday when you and Bella were running around in the backyard." My mother said, her eyes getting quite watery. "Mom…" I whined. Charlie and Renee chuckled.

"Uh, I think they still do that, Esme…" teased Emmet earning an earful of laughs all around.

The door opened revealing my father in scrubs. Obviously, he just came from surgery. He smiled when he saw me. "I was starting to wonder when you would come." He said, coming forward for a hug.

I sniggered coming up to hug him as well, "It's good to see you too, Dad."

"I trust that everything is doing well in Seattle?" he asked with a pat at my back.

I nodded reassuringly, "Yeah, everything's fine." Although I did fail to make a good impression on my first day…

My dad headed over to sit by my mother. The adults talked to themselves. I came over to sit next to Bella, holding her hand as I chatted with the rest of the gang. Jacob joined as well. Jacob is Billy Black's son and he is a good two years younger than us. He's grown very fond of Bella. It's a good thing he's younger because if not, he and I would be earning a good number of glares.

"Hey Edward," Jacob started and I turned my attention to him. "That song playing in the stereo… is it yours?" he asked.

Bella's Lullaby. I programmed the boombox to play the song every thirty minutes.

I sighed wistfully, "Yeah. I composed it for Bella when we were younger."

Jacob smiled. "Oh. Well, my Dad and I think that it's really good! Maybe you can be a composer and a doctor at the same time."

"Oh he'd be real dreamy if that happened!" joked Emmet. I punched him in the shoulder, laughing.

I smiled, "Thanks, Jacob. It's one of my favorite compositions." Both him and his Dad are the only people in the room who haven't heard that song yet.

Two and a half hours and a few picture takings later, the only people left in the room now are Charlie, Esme, Ben, Angela and I. We would have to leave soon as well. I would really want to stay 'till the early hours of the morning but I couldn't keep Angela and Ben with me.

Charlie glanced at his watch and got up, "Wow, look at the time. I think I better get some of these presents back to the house. It looks a bit too crowded."

"I'll join you, Charlie, and I'll help you in bringing the presents. It doesn't look like all of these them can fit in one car."

He chuckled, "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"We'll help you bring the presents to the car, Mom." I said getting up with Angela and Ben. It took all of us two and a half trips going back and forth gathering all the presents. I was glad to see that a lot of people cared about Bella. But I can't say that I'm that much surprised. Almost the entire school loved Bella. How could they not? She's kind, smart, reliable, beautiful and everything else that's good!

Sigh, I miss her so much.

After saying my good-byes and goodnights to my mother and Charlie, I walked back to the room… and ran into my father halfway.

"Edward. Are you leaving now?" he asked, returning a clipboard back to its case.

I nodded solemnly, "In about five minutes, I guess. We just finished bringing Bella's presents to the cars. Angela and Ben are waiting by my car, and I just came up to say bye to Bella."

His eyebrows furrowed, "Car_s_?"

I smiled, "Yeah… they all couldn't fit in Charlie's cruiser so Mom took a few in hers." I said, earning a small laugh from my father. "Can't say I'm surprised." He replied going back to his paperwork.

"Hey Dad?" I started. I knew the answer to the question I'm going to ask but… I just couldn't help but ask again. "Throughout the three days I was gone, there really wasn't 'any' progress?"

My father sighed placing down another clipboard, "I thought you might ask that… and I didn't think I should tell you this but…"

My hopes heightened and I started to listen attentively. Was there something??? "What? Tell me Dad! What happened." I said with petition.

Dad turned to me, "I didn't want to tell you until I was a hundred percent sure…"

"Dad! Please! Tell me!"

He sighed, "Alright. One of the nurses on watch the day you left thought she saw Bella's hand twitching for a about five seconds…" My eyes widened. She moved??!! "But!" my father followed quickly. "It almost seemed impossible because her brain activity hasn't improved at all. It might just be a random brain wave that caused it."

"It 'might' be, Dad!" I emphasized. "It might have been Bella really moving too!" I understood why my father didn't tell me about this but I really wanted to know 'everything' in Bella's progress.

"Did you tell Charlie about this?"

"No, I didn't. I wanted to be entirely sure before I did." He answered lightly. "Keep this to yourself, son. I'll be running more tests in a few days and when I find something, I'll tell you." He said in a firm voice.

I nodded my head in reply. _'She moved!'_

A part of me saddened at the fact that I wasn't there to witness it, but I didn't care. One small movement is a big enough progress for me.

"I have a feeling that the music helped, Edward." My father suddenly said, driving me out of my trance.

"The…music?" my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

He nodded, "Some medical records show that coma patients often react to music. As you remember, we've tried playing some songs in her room… but I think she only reacted to yours, because it happened the day you left."

_Is it possible…_

After a few more words and hugging my father goodbye, I rushed to Bella's room. The only things in the room now are the flowers and a few balloons and it still looked a bit too filled up. I came up to my usual spot next to Bella's bed, holding her hands.

Did she really move her hand? Did it really twitch like my father said? My head was filled with more questions and possible hope.

I glanced at my watch. Sigh, ten minutes have passed. Ben and Angela might be getting a little cold outside. It was then that I knew I had to leave. My inner self was complaining though. I really wanted to stay.

Hitting the thirty-minute mark, Bella's Lullaby once again started to fill the room. I stared at her hands, which were lying motionlessly against my palm. What I'd give to see her show even the slightest sign of life. Leaning my forehead against hers, I once again breathed in her sweet scent.

"Happy 18th Birthday, Bella. You should have seen all the people who came to see you and the gifts they gave. You're room was almost entirely full." I laughed, "I know you're eager to know what I gave you, just like every year, but I'm not giving it yet cause you're asleep. So you better damn wake up so I can give it to you!" I shook my head at how silly I sounded.

I cupped her face with my right hand and buried my face in her neck; trying to make the most of the little more time I had before leaving.

**6yearsold6yearsold6yearsold…**

"_HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELLA!" _

_Party streamers and camera flashes appeared when Bella blew out the candles of her Birthday Cake. _

_Bella's backyard was fully decorated with birthday decorations. Everyone in our class and a few of our friends fought over the plates of cake being handed out by the grown ups. I hated it. I hardly had Bella's attention since the party started. There's just too much people. I sat there with my arms crossed across the table as I watched Bella being led to the presents by her mom and dad. _

"_Edward honey, what's wrong?" asked my Mom, bending down on her knees to face me. _

"_Nothing…" I replied glumly sinking back into the chair but she must have noticed where I was looking._

"_Oh, sweetie…" my Mom smiled, brushing my messy hair out of my face. "Why don't you give Bella your present? I'm sure she'd love to see it!" _

"_My present is silly, Mom." I sulked deeper back into the seat. I had a hard time finding a present for Bella a few weeks ago so I asked my Mom. After asking of what I should get her, she told me that maybe I could make something myself. So I spent the past few days making Bella this small silly wooden figurine and I had the bandages on my hands to prove it. _

"_It's not silly Edward. It's a beautiful present! Bella would love it." _

"_You're just saying that." I whined._

"_No, I'm not, Edward." She smiled, "Well, you're going to have to give it sometime." I sighed heavily. _

_The party went on and I sulked near the corner beside the tire swing. I wasn't in the mood for the food. I was fiddling with the little wrapped gift in my hand until I saw a plate of chocolate cake brought right in front of me. I looked up and my spirits soared!_

"_Hi Bella! Uhm… thanks." I said, getting the plate of cake she gave me. _

_She sat down beside me, smiling. "Dad said that you didn't get any cake. Is that why you're sad?" _

"_I'm not sad!" I replied. "Just… you know… tired I think." I didn't want to tell her that I was sad because she wasn't playing with me. _

"_Are you sick?" Bella asked, worriedly. _

"_No! No, I'm okay." I said, eating a spoonful of cake. _

"_Then what are you doing here? Everyone is at the table?" _

_Well, it's now or never. "Uhm, here… this is, uh… yours." I said lamely handing her the small wrapped package. _

_Surprised, Bella held it between her hands. "From you?" she smiled. I nodded silently, looking down at the ground. I grew more nervous as I heard the wrapping paper being torn off. I heard her gasp._

"_A wooden Lion!" she exclaimed. _

"_Yeah, uhm, I made it… a few days ago." I said still looking down. "You don't have to like it… I mean, it's not much." I followed quickly. _

"_You made this?" she asked, astonishment evident in her voice as she stared at my band-aid filled hands. I hit them in embarrassment. "Yeah…"_

_Suddenly, I was enveloped in Bella's big hug as she laughed. "Thank you Ed!!! I LOVE IT!!!"_

"_Really?? You do?" I asked, quite surprised. _

"_Of course!" she replied as she let go, looking at the little lion in her hands. "How did you make it? You didn't have to get me anything you know."_

"_Dad taught me how to use his tools. And of course I had to get you something!" I replied, sheepishly. "Look under it."_

_Bella turned over the lion and smiled, reading the writing. "To Bella… From Edward." _

_Bella giggled. "Thank you a million times, Ed! This is the bestest present ever!" _

_She gave me another hug that I returned, blushing slightly. Then a camera flash came out of the blue. I turned to see my Mom and Bella's Dad standing in front of us with small smiles in their faces. _

**PresentPresentPresent…**

"I don't know when I can come and see you again." I whispered. "But I promise it won't be long… Happy Birthday, Bella."

_I love you…_

After placing a lingering kiss in her forehead, I parted with her. Once again feeling the loneliness grip me.

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**Author's Note:**

**Sigh! I thought I would never finish this chapter… Now I hope it didn't make you cry… I'm puzzled that a lot of you guys tear up in the previous chapters… I didn't know I could do that… haha!**

**Photo of ****Edward's Car**** and the ****Stephanotis Bouquet**** is in my Profile!**

**I hope you all liked it :) Tell me what you think, okie! And don't hesitate to send me any scene suggestions… :) I could use a few ideas :)**

**What do I think of the Twilight Movie?--- I laughed in several parts!!! My friends thought I was insane…hehe! It was okay… I liked the chemistry between Kirsten and Robert :) **

**Review? Please…:) if you want to receive a sneak peak.**


	7. Protecting My Heart

**Thanks for all the wonderful reviews you guys ;) you know they make me write faster!**

**To all the reviewers who don't have a fanfiction account… please leave your email address when you review so I can send you a sneak peak of the next chapter. I feel bad for not being able to send you guys one.**

**To KidAtHeart: Nice try! Just because we're neighbors doesn't mean I'm letting you read my progress before updating :) You've already snuck into my laptop once! You ein't doing it again! I'll have to be more careful this time…**

**Here goes, Chapter 7…**

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**Chapter 7: Protecting My Heart**

**Date: October 5, 2007 = Friday (three weeks after Bella's birthday)**

**Edward's POV**

6:24 PM

I've been on the road for two hours straight.

Rain splattered down my car windows as I drove out of Seattle and onto the road to Forks. The strength of the wind assured that this was going to be a stormy night. The traffic was as bad as any other rainy day. Cars honked as we waited for the seemingly endless road of cars to subside. The radio playing is the only sound that filled the silence of my car.

It has been three agonizing weeks since I last saw Bella.

Ever since then, the knot in my heart has been tightening more and more. It was like an invisible string was trying to pull me back to where she is. I didn't think that I would be away this long. Throughout the past weekends, I've been trying to find a way to go back to Forks. Unfortunately, the school has been keeping all of us busy. Who knew Medical School would be this tough? I've spent entire weekends in the Library to search and study yet it still didn't seem enough. I didn't know how Ben and Angela found time to watch movies or just hang out. Throughout my stay in Seattle, I've spent it doing only schoolwork to try and keep my mind off Bella. When I couldn't sleep at night, I'd settle myself in reading a textbook to lull me to sleep. However I'd need an espresso when I wake up the next morning.

It's Friday again… our day. And finally! I'm coming home for the weekend.

I just have to get out of this blasted traffic!

**Carlisle's POV**

I returned the phone back to it's holder before slowly sinking back into my office chair.

Recollecting the conversation I just had with Dr. Forester, I became even more perplexed. This was a highly unsettling subject. Dr. Marcus Forester is one of the professors of UW Medical and one of my dearest friends since College; apparently, he's teaching one of Edward's classes. He had called recently to inform me of something he thought I needed to know.

**A little earlier…**

"_Hello, Carlisle? It's me."_

"_Marcus! It's good to hear your voice again." I smiled into the phone._

"_It's good to hear yours as well…" he chuckled._

"_Well, this is unexpected. There anything I can do for you?"_

"_I'm all right, old friend. I just came to call about your son. His name's Edward, right?" _

_My ears perked up. "Edward? What about him?"_

"_Yes well… apparently, he's come to be one of my students here in Washington Medical."_

"_Is he now!? You haven't seen him since he was a little boy. Did he recognize you?" Who would have known? My old friend in College is now teaching my son in College. "And you never told me you were teaching in UW Medical. I would have told Edward about it."_

"_I didn't even tell him about our acquaintance yet, but I will… soon. He's a striking image of you when you were his age it's hard not to miss him in the classroom." He laughed._

"_I'll bet he'll be surprised." I chuckled. "So what do you think of Edward? I bet he impressed you." I boasted confidently. My son has always been brilliant in everything he does. Me, myself have been told by countless people._

"_Well, Carl… I actually called to talk to you about that." I noticed the hesitancy in his voice. This puzzled me._

"_Is there something wrong with Edward?" I asked, suddenly concerned. _

"_No, he's… he's doing just fine."_

_My eyebrows furrowed, "What do you mean 'just fine'." I sensed the hidden meaning in his sentence. Edward never does 'just fine'; he does more than what's expected. That's what makes him so brilliant._

"_He's not failing any classes, if that's what you're thinking. He's just…well, let's just say that I expected more from him because of all the excellent recommendations and feedback's we received from his previous schools and from his hospital volunteer work. Just so you know, Carlisle, your son has been on our list ever since his sophomore year in high school. I'm just confused as to why he's not doing as well as we expected. Other professors have expressed the same concern. We predicted him to be one of our best students but he rarely participates in class."_

_I was taken aback. "I assure you that Edward deserves those excellent recommendations and feedback's. I've even observed him myself and he almost graduated Salutatorian of his school." I defended. He rarely participates in class? Impossible! Edward has been a straight A student ever since kindergarten. _

"_We're not questioning his recommendations, Carl, I assure you. I just wanted to ask you if there's a reason why he's this way. Are there… any problems with him? Or at home?"_

_My eyes instantly turned to the small picture in my office table. _

_Bella…_

_I sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of my nose, "Unfortunately there is a problem, Marcus. I guess I shouldn't be surprised to hear his progress in College."_

"_So, he's in a tough situation now?"_

"_Yes." I replied slowly._

_He sighed, "I guess it's not in my place to ask why."_

_I chuckled weakly, "Just be thankful that he's not failing his classes, Marcus."_

"_I thought you might say that. But can I ask… is the 'problem' fixable? Do you think he'll recover soon?"_

_I thought for a moment, staring at the small picture of Edward and Bella hugging each other when they were younger. I remember my wife taking this photo in one of Bella's birthdays. It was a stolen shot of them both. I've never seen my son so happy unless he's with her._

_What should I say? Is it fixable? Will he recover soon? _

_I don't know…_

_But I have hope._

"_Marcus…"I started, "I know he'll recover. I just don't know when…"_

**…****..**

I breathed deeply in my seat as I contemplated our phone conversation. Even Edward's studies are being affected. I never realized how much Bella means to Edward. It's like she's his rock, his reason for living,… his everything. Edward never had any problems in school. His teachers praised him, his classmates called home to ask help from him; he didn't even need to open a book to study for an exam the next day when he was in high school. His intelligence is all natural. But now…

"Dad?" I was brought out of my thoughts as I saw Edward peek his head into my office. I glanced at the clock… 9:50 PM. "I'm here."

"Edward, son." I came up to him for a hug which he returned. "I was expecting you two hours ago. Problems on the road?" I took a moment to take him in. He was only wearing sweats and a black hoodie that showed droplets of rain and a small vase of Bella's favorite flowers were in his hands. The dark circles under his eyes seemed to get worse every time we meet; it's obvious that he's lost weight.

"Yeah, the traffic was insufferable and the rain is getting worse." He shrugged.

I rarely even see him smiling anymore.

"Did you visit home? Your mother really missed you."

"Yeah I did, Mom even made me dinner. But I'm spending the night here." He nodded.

'_Paging Dr. Cullen, OR-1 needs you. Paging Dr. Cullen, OR-1 needs you.'_

I groaned. Damn… "and I thought I could go home by now."

Edward chuckled, "Duty calls, Dad."

I came to get my lab coat out of the hook, "Yes well, you laugh now, Edward. In a few years, that will be you." I chuckled, patting him in the back. "It's good to have you back, son."

He nodded, "It's good to be back too, Dad."

I didn't need to tell him about the phone call I just had. I was afraid it would put him under even more stress. But I knew what to do. I just have to trust my son and hope for the best.

**Edward's POV**

Hugging Bella and breathing in her scent once again after no contact for three weeks felt coming out for air when you're suddenly drowning.

After opening the door to her room, I instantly dropped my bag, put down the flowers, climbed into the bed and hugged her sleeping body to me firmly. I missed her so much these past three weeks, all I wanted to do was to get close to her. A shaky breath released me as I brushed my face against her temple.

She's cold.

The room is colder than usual too. Didn't anyone even bother to monitor the room temperature? This frustrated me slightly. I gently let go of her body for a second to walk to the other side of the room to bring the temperature to heat. Coming back to the side of the bed, I rubbed my hands together and blew my warm breath into the palms to create friction and heat. Then I placed my hands upon Bella's face hoping to bring warmth to her cold skin. Repeating the process, I gently pressed my palms firmly against her neck and rubbed her arms ridding them of the cold. I climbed onto the bed on my usual spot on her right side and took both her hands and rubbed them between mine, frequently pressing my lips against them.

When I convinced myself that she was warm enough, I resumed my usual position lying beside her and draping my arm across her chest. It seemed unnatural to sleep without her in Seattle anymore.

On cue, Bella's Lullaby started to play.

Lying on my side facing her, I caressed her cheek as I have done countless times before. Closing my eyes, I listened to the music as it gently sounded the quiet room. Almost a month ago, Bella's hand had moved on the first day this song played in the room. So far, that's the only progress we've seen. Nothing has followed since then and it has been three weeks.

A loud thunder cracked the dark sky, bringing me out of my thoughts. I glanced at the window and saw the trees waving furiously as if it were trying to battle the wind. The sound of the storm outside was enough to wake a man from his sleep and enough to make children call for their parents because they're scared. Adjusting myself in the bed, I hugged Bella closer to me as I rested my cheek on the top of her head. It was like I wanted to protect her from the storm even though I knew we couldn't be harmed inside the hospital room. I guess it's just my overwhelming sense of protectiveness when it comes to Bella.

**Edward17yearsold…Bella16yearsold…**

"_Yes Emmet, for the last time I'm sure I purchased the Season Tickets online correctly. Just be patient, man. It'll come in the mail soon." I said into my cell phone as I walked around my room. Emmet has been nagging me for days about these tickets. We've been planning to watch the basketball semi-finals for about two months now and when I found four tickets online last week, I didn't hesitate to buy them right away. It's too bad that I couldn't find two more tickets for the six of us but fortunately Bella and Alice willed gave up theirs so that leaves me, Emmet, Jasper and Rose to watch the game in the City in two weeks. _

"Then why aren't the tickets here yet? They were supposed to be in the mail yesterday right?_"_

_I groaned, "Yes, but did you even peek your head outside the windows? I doubt that any mailman can hold on to their mail in this blizzard." I explained. The blizzard arrived into our town just yesterday. Rain and snow have been pouring endlessly and not to mention the intense cold you feel. It's only unfortunate that the blizzard started on a Saturday; now our entire weekend was spent indoors. _

_I heard a scoff, "_Stupid blizzard…you don't think the tickets are lost do you?"

_I chuckled, shaking my head, "No, Emmet. I'm sure the tickets are ju-…"_

'Tap Tap Tap Tap'

_What the? _

_My head instantly turned to the window… my eyes widened and my jaw dropped. _

_BELLA!!!_

"_Holy Shit!" I cursed loudly. _

"What!? Edward wha-…"_ My hand instantly dropped the phone as I dashed to open my bedroom window to let in my shivering best friend. _

"_BELLA! What in the world!" I flustered as she quickly stepped inside with a heavy breath wearing a soaked heavy coat, pants and boots. Quickly closing the window, I wrapped her under my arm and tried to lead her to the bathroom. _

"_Wait! W-wait! Ed, I'm s-soaking. Just g-get me a towel so I w-wont w-wet your floor." She stuttered. She's dripping wet from the rain and snow and she's more worried about wetting my floor rather than catching pneumonia. _

"_Bella, don't be ridiculous! Come on!" I practically carried her to the bathroom, not caring that she was getting me soaked as well. Once I got her to the bathroom, I helped her strip her jacket, scarf and hat. "What the hell are you doing here? Or better yet, what were you doing outside my window!? The blizzard is insane! You should be home. You might catch a fever!" I scolded her. _

"_I-I kn-n-now b-but I-…" she started to explain but I cut her off with my hand and turned on the hot water of my shower. _

"_Explain later. First get out of these wet clothes and get into the shower! I'll get you some of my clothes." I instructed. She nodded in understanding, crossing her arms over her chest. Damn, she's still shivering. I ran to my dresser and grabbed the smallest pair of clothing I could find. _

"_Here," I placed the clothes near the sink. "Place your clothes near the door, I'll put them in the dryer. You know where the towels are." Bella sniffed and nodded as she started taking off her over sweater leaving her in a tank top. Normally this would make other people uncomfortable but Bella and I have known each other since diapers. I left the bathroom to give her some privacy. As I heard the shower curtains close, I opened the door slightly to grab the wet clothes she left on the floor. I didn't dare look at the mirror… even though I really wanted to. _

"_Take your time, okay?" _

"_Okay." She replied, her voice not shivering as much as a few seconds ago. _

_Going downstairs, I went down the laundry room and tossed Bella's clothes into the dryer. Running back up into the kitchen, I placed some water into the kettle and put it over the stove to heat. _

Need more heat, Edward._ Said a voice in my head._

_Nodding, I turned to the living room and in front of the fireplace. I grabbed the matches on the ledge and started working on the flames. Satisfied with my work on the fireplace, I hurried back to the kitchen when I heard the kettle whistle. Settling two mugs in the counter, I placed some hot cocoa powder in and topped it with the hot water. The hot chocolate now is nothing compared to what Bella makes but it will have to do. _

_After placing the two mugs in the coffee table near the fire place, I ran back upstairs to find Bella just coming out of the bathroom of my room. My heart skipped a beat as I took her in. She was wearing my black sweats and my blue knitted sweater which I grew out off almost two years ago yet it's still too big for her frame. Her hair was damp and she walked barefoot. How this girl takes my breath away with one look is beyond me. _

_Blinking out of my thoughts, I grabbed the blue quilt sitting in the chair near the window and hugged it around her. "Come on, let's go downstairs."_

"_I think I'm okay now." She replied hugging the quilt tighter around her. _

"_Nope! You need more heat. Now come on." I ushered her under my arm, down the stairs. _

_She sighed sincerely, "Thank you, Edward."_

_After I had her properly settled in front of the fireplace with the cup of hot cocoa in her hands did I let her talk. _

"_I just came from work and I-…" _

"_You still have work in a blizzard like this?" I asked incredulously. _

_She sighed, "Yes, unfortunately I do. And when I got home I-…"_

"_All the more reason to quit your job, Bella." _

_She groaned. "Edward for the millionth time, I am not quitting my job at the restaurant. I want to start earning money on my own." _

"_I could ju-…"_

"_AND, I am not accepting money from you." She pointed out. "Now will you let me finish the story of how I ended up knocking in your window tonight?" She smiled._

_I nodded sheepishly._

"_Okay, as I was saying. I just got home from work and when I stepped outside the truck and fished for the house keys in my bag, the stupid wind blew it away. I tried going after it but of course it had to fall into that moving water stream at the side of the road and drop into the canal." She blushed. "I called Dad but he's really stuck in work and is at least an hour away on patrol so he just told me to come here..."_

_I chuckled and shook my head, "Silly Bella. So you ran here and climbed up to my window."_

_She shrugged and took another sip of her hot cocoa. "I couldn't very well run to Rosalie's house. She's 4 blocks away from here." _

"_You could have called me so instead of climbing up my window, I would've answered you in the front door. The roof is frozen with ice for heaven's sake. What if you fell?" I said worriedly._

"_I tried calling you from my phone but all I got was a busy dial tone." _

_Then I remembered… Emmet. "Oh, damn. I left him on the phone." I said getting up._

"_Left who on the phone?" she asked, looking up at me. _

"_Emmet. We were talking a little earlier. That's why I couldn't answer your calls. Hold on." I ran quickly up the stairs to my room. Yup. There's my phone, lying on the floor. I picked it up and called Emmet back._

_The receiver picked up, _"Finally, you remembered me."_ Emmet chuckled._

_I sighed, "Sorry man, I had a little emergency."_

"Is Bella okay?"

"_Uh… how did you know it was Bella-related?" _

"When you dropped the phone I heard you scream 'Bella, what in the world'."_ He sniggered. "Oh" I sighed._

"So… what was the emergency?"_ I explained to him what happened earlier. _

"Wow… I can't imagine going outside in the blizzard now."

"_I know…" then I suddenly remembered Bella waiting downstairs. "Hey man, I'll call you tomorrow alright? Bella's still downstairs. I'm worried she might get sick." I said, making my way out the room. _

"Oh right. Go tell her you love her, man!" _teased Emmet. _

_I groaned, "Emmet, please keep your mouth shut about that. If you let the word out, there will be stomps where your feet should be!"_

"Chill dude, I'm only joking! But you have to realize the situation you are in right now."_ his voice suddenly turning serious. I stopped in the middle of the stairs. "What do you mean?" I whispered. _

"Hello? Blizzard storm outside, you're drinking hot chocolate in front of the fireplace and she's wearing your clothes! Talk about a cheesy romantic movie scene. Hahaha!!!"_ He laughed. I rolled my eyes and clapped my phone shut. _

_Bella was sitting on the floor, laying her head back on the couch when I got back to the living room. This worried me. "Hey Bells, are you okay? How do you feel?" I kneeled down checking her forehead. A little warm…_

"_I'm okay, Edward. Just a little tired from work that's all." She replied. _

"_Hmm… just to be sure I'm calling Dad." I flipped my phone and started dialing my dad's cell but Bella's hand came over mine. _

"_Edward, you are not calling your Dad over a silly blizzard encounter." _

"_But you're running a little warm." I complained. _

_Bella chuckled, "I think that's because of the hot cocoa and the warm fireplace. I'm fine. I swear." She tried to convince me. _

_I thought for a moment, still quite queasy. "Well, just to be sure, I'm getting more blankets and a thermometer…" _

_Bella groaned…_

**PresentPresentPresent…**

I blinked my eyes the next morning to find the weather unchanged overnight. Rain still splattered over the windows and the clouds gray covering the morning sun. The room is silent and Bella… still asleep. I made a deep breath and stretched my body over my side of the hospital bed; my back cracked and I groaned. Maybe I can ask Dad to change Bella's bed into a bigger one. The clock ticked 8:00 in the morning; still too early. As I was about to resume my sleeping position, the door opened.

"Oh!" I turned my head to see Mrs. Fonda wheeling a small cart in the room. Mrs. Fonda is one of the head nurses in this hospital. Nice lady. She's one of the nurses in charge of watching over Bella. "I'm sorry Edward; I didn't know you were here."

"Its okay, Mrs. Fonda." I said, scrambling out of my blanket and getting up from the bed. "I…I was just about to go to the cafeteria anyway." Well, technically, I wanted to go back to sleep.

"Right on time then. I'm just about to give Bella a bath." She said, stopping by the side of the bed. 'Just about to give Bella a bath…' sounds really weird.

I just nodded my head and started making my way out the door.

"Have you been eating right, Edward?" said Mrs. Fonda. I turned back to her, wondering why she's asking that.

"Uh, I, I guess so." I shrugged.

"Is College keeping you out of bed?" she asked again. Why the sudden interest?

"Sort of, I think. Why?" I asked.

Mrs. Fonda shrugged, "Just wondering, dear. You look thinner than the last time I saw you."

My eyes went downcast, suddenly quite embarrassed. Everyone keeps saying that. "Uhm," I started. "I guess… Medical School is a lot tougher than I expected." It looked like Mrs. Fonda was about to ask again but she let it drop which I was thankful for.

"Alright then. Make sure you eat a big steak in the cafeteria." And with that, I chuckled and left the room. But I didn't get the steak.

Once I arrived at the cafeteria, my stomach reminded me that I wasn't even hungry. Nothing in the menu seemed delectable enough to eat for my appetite this morning. I'd usually go for the strawberry waffles for breakfast but my mouth wasn't in the mood for chewing. I settled for small bowl of their mushroom soup with garlic bread; might as well just put some food in my stomach. My conscience was tired of hearing people make comments about my health and condition.

I sat on one of the tables in the corner and constantly dragged my spoon around the bowl of soup. Only once it was cold did I decide to take a spoonful. I sighed. This is completely pointless. Good job, Edward. You barely even eat anymore and you ruin your first meal of the day. The soup wasn't even that good. Like I said before… I'm completely spoiled by Mom and Bella's delicious cooking. Eating their meals almost everyday has redefined my taste buds into knowing which food is flawlessly cooked and which is not. And this bowl in front of me is definitely NOT.

**17yearsold17yearsold17yearsold…**

_My stomach grumbled with impatient hunger as I drove my car into our garage. Soccer practice may have been cut short but it sure burned all the food I ate for lunch. I crossed my fingers hoping that Mom is making something nice for dinner as I entered the front door. _

"_Mom? I'm Home!" I yelled out while placing my keys in the foyer table. No reply came. That's odd. Maybe she's in the garden. Maybe Bella's there! I sprinted to the backyard garden to find… nothing. "Mom? You here?" I called out once again, but then again… no reply. It was then that I noticed the note in posted in the fridge. _

'Meeting with a client in Port Angeles.

Be home by ten.

Sorry I can't cook dinner.

I'll make it up tomorrow!'

Love, Mom

"_Aw, Man…" I whined. My stomach grumbled in anticipation as I groaned. I checked the fridge for anything I might want to eat but I wasn't in the mood for leftovers. _

_Tuna Casserole? Yuck, not now…_

_Pesto Chicken? I only like it when it's newly cooked. The skin won't be crispy if it's microwaved._

_A steak is defrosted. Maybe I can cook? Mmm, Steak! Ehck… but I don't know how to marinate it. _

_Make a sandwich? Uh, not in the mood for it. _

_Giving up, I closed the fridge and leaned against the counter. I wanted to eat good meat! Food delivery isn't as good as eating it in the restaurant unless its fast food but I didn't want fast food now._

_I shrugged. "Hmm… guess there's only one thing I can do."_

_......._

"_Hey Bells?! You home?" I exclaimed, entering the back door to their house. I passed by the kitchen just in time to find Bella turn away from her book, looking quite startled._

"_Hey!? Aren't you supposed to be at soccer practice?" She waved at me, glancing at her watch. _

"_Coach decided to let us out earlier. He wanted us to get a good night's rest before the game tomorrow." I replied, walking to sit beside her. _

_Her face scrunched, "And you're here because…"_

"_What? I can't visit my best friend?" I put my hands behind my head._

"_You can, but I sense there's something you want or something you need to tell me…" she said, suspiciously. _

"_No." I shrugged innocently. "I just wanted to see you…" I said, making my puppy dog eyes to convince her. Unfortunately my stomach had other ideas. It grumbled loud enough for Bella to hear. Uh oh… busted._

"_Crap…" I covered my stomach in embarrassment._

_Bella doubled over in laughter. "I guess that's why…" she chuckled. "I take it Esme isn't home right now?"_

_I shook my head slightly and clasped my hands together, "Pleeeaasse Bella! I'm starving! Can you cook something for me? I need good meat!" I begged. _

"_Hmm, I don't know. You pulled quite a stunt back there. I don't know if I can forgive you." She teased, turning back to her book. I whined but she ignored me. Desperate, I went on my knees and hugged her stomach which seemed to surprise her and I begged._

"_Please, please, please! Cook for me! You know how much I love your food! I'm so so hungry! I'll help you cook! Please! Please Bella! Please! Plea-…"_

"_Alright! Alright already…" she chuckled patting my head. "You're right on time anyway. I was just about to take the steak out of the fridge." _

_My mouth watered at the sound. "Steak?" I said, looking up at her with happy eyes._

_She giggled, "Yes, steak, little boy. And the Shepherd's pie is still in the oven. It'll be ready in fifteen minutes." Bella replied, abandoning her book and walking to the fridge. I gazed at her in wonder. Shepherd's pie! Delicious ground beef with carrots and peas topped with mashed potato. And a Steak! I think I drooled on my shirt._

Oh how I love this woman! She would be the perfect wife for our family…

"_Are you gonna keep gawking at me or help me with this?" she smirked, marinating the steak with the sauce. Whoa! My thoughts went to a big screech. Slow down Edward… I shook my head and gave an unnoticeable blush._

_Sniggering, I got up on my knees and jogged towards Bella. "Hehe, sorry. Let me fry the steaks." _

_The kitchen work was a breeze. Bella marinated the steaks and even taught me how to do it. Didn't know it was just that simple! I fried the steaks in the pan while Bella set up the table, making an extra play setting just incase Charlie gets home early from work. Saliva pooled in my mouth as Bella took the Pie out of the oven. The smell tickled my nose and it was extremely delightful. I couldn't help but admire Bella as she moved around the kitchen. Everything seemed effortless to her. I really resisted the natural urge to want to wrap my arms around her from behind and kiss her neck. If only life could be like that right now…_

"_How are the steaks holdin' up, Chef?" Bella asked as she scooped the steamed vegetables into the plates. I couldn't help but get lost in a daydream… _how she'd be a good mother to our children! Making them eat their veggies…

"_Edward?" she repeated and I woke up. "Oh! Oh yeah! Steaks are good and done." I replied, turning off the heat. Phew! Good thing I didn't burn them. I brought the pan over the table and placed the steaks into the three plates. Right on time, Charlie came in through the front door. _

"_Hey Bells!" he called out. "What's cooking? Smells good." _

_Bella giggled, "Dinner's ready in the kitchen, Dad! You're right on time." _

"_Good Evening, Chief!" I saluted as Charlie came in to the kitchen with a smile on his face. He gave his daughter a kiss on top of her head and he clasped me on the back. _

"_You ready for the game tomorrow, Edward?" he asked, sitting down on the head of the table._

"_With this dinner? I think I'm more than ready." I chuckled. _

_Dinner was wonderful! Steak with Shepherd's Pie was a good combination! It's come to be my new favorite. Well, what do you know? Dinner was better than I expected. At the end of the meal, Bella and I pushed Charlie to retire to bed since he looked like he was about to drop and we left to do the dishes. _

"_Thanks a bunch for the dinner, Bells! It was great!" I sighed back into the seat rubbing my satisfied stomach._

_She chuckled, "I don't suppose you have room for dessert?" _

_Ah! Could this girl be any more perfect!_

"_I always have room for dessert! What do you have?" I asked eagerly. Bella grabbed two small spoons and walked to the freezer and took out two small cups. _

"_I was supposed to save this for us tomorrow night, since it's a Friday… but," she shrugged, "I'm in the mood for something really sweet right now." She placed the cup in front of me. _

"_Chocolate Mousse!" I laughed in delight!_

"_Sshh!" she chuckled. "Don't let Dad hear you. I had to hide this from him. God knows how much sugar he has in his system nowadays."_

"_Secret is safe with me, Bella." I promised as I ate a spoonful of Mousse; and we talked throughout the night. _

**PresentPresentPresent…**

"Didn't your Mom ever tell you not to play with your food?" said a familiar voice. I glanced up to see my Dad smirking down at me.

"Oh, hey Dad. I uhm…" I started coming up with an excuse, "I'm just not that hungry that's all."

"That's unusual. You're always hungry." He replied, sitting down in the chair across the table.

I smirked, "Yes well, not today I guess." I said, putting down the spoon I've been playing with. Dad gave me a peculiar look.

"Why don't you go home today? Mom could make you a good breakfast. God knows you need it." He shrugged.

I rubbed the back of my neck, "I don't know…" I didn't want to leave Bella but, I guess going home for a little while won't be too bad.

"Go on, Edward. I'll make sure one of the nurses watch Bella when you're gone." My father insisted. "Your mother's cooking can do you good." He smiled. He was right though. I just nodded in agreement.

"Okay."

**…..**

"Mom? I'm home." I called out as I entered the foyer of the house.

"I'm in the kitchen, dear." My mother called out. I walked into the kitchen to find my Mom pouring some milk into a glass. An involuntary smile appeared on my face as I took in the sweet smell of Blueberry French Toast.

My mom smiled, "Your father told me you'd come home for a good breakfast. I hope you're in the mood for French Toast." She said, bringing over the plate of French toast to the table along with the glass of milk. I chuckled. It's like I'm eight years old all over again.

"I'm always in the mood for your food, Mom." I smiled, taking a seat. "But uhm… milk?" I raised my brow pointing at the glass in front of me.

"What?" she smiled, kissing me on the forehead? "At least let me spoil your appetite like a five year old until you give me beautiful grandchildren."

I laughed. "Come on, Mom…" I replied bashfully taking a bite out of the French toast. It was delicious! My mom and I fell into conversation as I ate my breakfast. She asked me how I was finding Seattle, if I'm settled in my dorm, how my classes are, etc. I replied…truthfully.

"So, is Medical School everything you thought it would be?" she asked curiously.

"Well," I started, "It's… it's actually…" I tried to find the words to place my thoughts. "It's actually quite harder than I expected. I mean, I spend almost my entire free time in the Library."

My mother looked quite surprised, "Really? That's quite peculiar isn't it? When you were in high school you only visit the Library to borrow a book for leisure or to-…"

"Look for Bella." I continued for her, smiling. It's true though. I never really go to the Library unless I was looking for a good old storybook or looking for Bella. Bella loves being surrounded by books. The Library or a bookstore is her own toy store. When I couldn't find Bella at home, the first place I'd look is the Town Library.

My mother softly smiled, "Yes…that's it."

Taking the last bite of my breakfast, a curious question suddenly entered my mind. So I asked my Mom, "Mom? I have a… small question." I shrugged. "Just curious really…" I continued.

"What is it dear?"

"When I come home from school… or from anywhere really… how is it you know without even looking at the foyer that I've come home with Bella or not?"

My mother chuckled.

"Really, Mom… when I call out to you that I'm home and you call back from somewhere in the house, you always know whenever I'm with her or not." **(A/N: Check the Chapter 4 flashback to understand better)** This question has always bugged my senses. It's about time I asked her anyway.

Mom gave me a delighted look and said slowly, "I notice it in the sound of your voice, Edward."

I gave her a confused look, "What do you mean?"

"Whenever you come home without Bella and you call out to me, the sound of your voice is… deep… as if you were bored." She smirked. "However when you do come home 'with' Bella and you call out to me, your voice is more… pleasant or to put it bluntly, 'happy'." She smiled. "Guilty as charged! That's how I know."

My mother's explanation brought me to think back to all the times I came home with Bella by my side. I was always happier when she came home with me…because I knew that I would have fun in the day ahead of me. "The sound of my voice, huh?" I chuckled. Never doubt a mother's intuition. Bella always makes me happier… even though we've had our silly fights over the years.

"Oh, Edward…" Mom put her hand over mine and gave me a sad smile. "She will come back." She says it as if she were so sure. "Just have hope." She smiled.

_Hope…_

"I've always thought you had a sixth sense…" I said frankly. She chuckled. I cleaned the dishes after I finished my breakfast. I was stuffed to say the least. It felt… good.

"Why don't you go upstairs and have a rest before you head back to the hospital, Edward? I'm sure you miss your bed as well." My mother said bringing her hand on my back. I really wanted to go back to the hospital now but… this is the least I could do for my mom making me dinner last night and breakfast today.

"Alright, Mom." I agreed.

I climbed the two flights of stairs to my room, missing the walls of my home. I was then grateful that my College is within the country so I wouldn't have to drive farther than four hours away just to visit home.

As I opened the door to my room, my eyes widened and I let out a loud gasp. "Oh My God!"

Walking inside, I no longer stepped on carpet but on hardwood floors. Everything… everything is… New! The CD stands he broke almost two months ago were no longer stands but a wall of CD placements. The entire right wall of my room filled my entire CD collection, and DVD's along with a new Bose Music Player. The walls were no longer covered in wallpaper but turned into bright oak wood. My study table turned into a study table/ computer stand. Even my computer was new! My organ stood in a new stand to my right along the wall beside the door. A new bookshelf stood beside my computer filled with my books, piano pieces and gadgets. My bed was still in the same place but it had a new post and new black and blue linens. A new black flat screen TV stood in front of it. My black leather couch was still the same along with Bella's chair. New picture frames of all shapes and sizes stood on my nightstand and along the walls.

What struck me most however was the window looking over a terrace. That's right! A terrace! A window no longer a window but a glass sliding door.

"I was hoping you'd like it."

I turned quickly to the door to see my mother leaning against the frame, smiling. "I thought you would be able to see this yesterday when you came home but you didn't even go up to your room. I had to ask your father to find a way to make you come home so I can show you the surprise." She smirked.

"Mom! How did you… Why? How did you…" I seem to have lost my power of speech. I was so overwhelmed by everything in my room.

"I had everything rushed in three weeks while you were away." She said, walking toward me. "It's about time I renovated your room anyway." She shrugged. "And I thought the terrace would make it easier for Bella to climb up here to your room." She smiled, glancing at the window.

"Mom, I…" I laughed rubbing the back of my head. "I don't know what to say." I can't believe she did all this for me.

"Thank you would be good for starters."

I gave my mother a big hug which she heartily returned. "Thank you, Mom!" After a few laughs, I walked toward the window/ glass sliding door. "So… uh," I chuckled, "You know about the whole 'climbing into my window' thing?"

"Edward," she chuckled, "We've 'all' known ever since you were both ten."

_Oh…_

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**Author's Note:**

**Well, waddaya think??? :D I hope you enjoyed the chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! I am now…drained of thoughts. (breaths heavily). I liked the ending 'cause Edward deserves a smile after everything he's been through.**

**This is by far the longest I have written and believe me I didn't think I could finish writing in a week…**

**Oh, would you all quit asking if she's going to wake up (crosses her arms)! I can't give away the fire now can I? What kind of author would I be if I told you the ending? Just keep reading, guys :)**

**Review if you want a sneak peak :) it might be a while before I update again… busy in the holidays, you see… :) hope you understand. However if I receive a lot of reviews, I might make an update next week. **

**Review please :) Love ya'll!**


	8. Comfort and Support

**SORRY SORRY SORRY…**

**Sorry for the late update you guys. But I have a reason! My laptop is infected by Spyware and a Trojan Virus and things have just been going crazy right now that I couldn't focus on writing. Anyway, I hope that I can continue updating once a week right now. I'll try my best!**

**I have a small present for you guys down below… :D**

**Once again, thank you for all the reviews! I get surprised each time I see how many hits this story is getting… haha! **

**Now, just a little warning… I was sorta kinda on a depressed state when I wrote this chapter so if it's not as good as you hoped,… my apologies. I hope I can make it up on the next chappies…**

**And without further a do… **

**Chaper 8!**

**Here goes…**

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**Chapter 8: Comfort and Support**

**Date: October 26, 2007 (Friday)**

**Edward's POV**

Nightmares.

Dreams you hope would never happen and feel relieved when you wake up even if it's in a cold sweat. The heart beats ten times faster like you've run a mile yet you do nothing but toss and turn in the bed. The mind shambles as the migraine comes resulting to the beads of sweat coming down your face yet sleep is supposed to give you peace of mind. The pitiful soul is silently screaming to wake up the body lying underneath the blankets yet it can't seem to perceive sound; too distracted to pay attention to anything but the darkness. Why can't we ignore the darkness and turn to the soul instead? Save us from all the trepidation and fatigue… Do demons or other fictional characters really exist and play with our mind at night? Or is it just us?

And why is it always at the nightmare's point of climax, the time you wake up?

I wrapped the blanket further up my shoulders as I huddled closer to Bella's unconscious body and breathed a deep sigh. I wasn't supposed to come back today. However, after the nights I've been having the past week, I didn't think I had a choice.

They've been coming back… the nightmares, that is. At the beginning of Bella's comatose, my nights have been constantly plagued with them but after I slept by her side, they never came. I thought that would be the end of them. However, this last week proved otherwise. I still remember that night when I woke up in a cold sweat in my dorm room. I didn't dare go back to bed after that dream. I just got out of the dorm rooms and took a drive out into the city near the harbor. The fresh air was much needed even though it was a frigid night. Since that night, they've relatively been coming back to hunt my thoughts. Sleep became a rare occurrence for me and I found myself not being able to focus on anything. It affected my study habits and my grades which I thought couldn't get any worse. I became an insomniac. Despite all the school work needed, Ben convinced me to come home after I almost fainted in class.

It has been another three weeks since I last saw Bella and when I marked my calendar this morning, I realized that it has been three months…

Three months…

I remember… the longest I've ever been physically away from Bella was two and a half months. But those two and a half months have been full of telephone calls and emails. The longest I've ever been verbally away from Bella was a week. But that was from a huge fight we've had years ago and wished never to repeat again.

But these… these three months… it's agony.

It felt so unreal not being able to communicate with her or hear her voice. I've been so used to it these past eighteen years that having it suddenly stop feels like forgetting how to breath or walk or even blink an eye.

I groaned. Even under the thick blanket, I still felt quite cold. The weather in Forks has changed in the blink of an eye and now, currently in the end of October, the winter season is fast approaching. Besides winter, however, Halloween is displayed in almost every corner of Forks. I felt a slight squeeze in my heart when I realized that this would be the first time I wouldn't be with Bella on Halloween.

Halloween would always be a fun night for us. Telling ghost stories, carving pumpkins, wearing silly costumes, going from house to house asking for candy… well, apparently we stopped asking for candy when we were eleven years old but every year was always entertaining.

**15yearsold15yearsold15yearsold…**

**(a/n: okay. I was really supposed to begin with the real Halloween night, but I decided to make an extra scene to make up for the late update :) )**

"_Come on you guys! PLEASE!!!" Emmet went down on his knees, hands clasped together as he begged to Jasper and I inside my room. I groaned for what seemed like the hundredth time in front of my computer as Jasper clutched at his hair while putting down the play station controller._

_"Oh for the love of God, stop begging, man! It's driving me crazy, and look!" Jasper gestured to the TV screen, "I just lost my third Master Battle in a row." he whined._

"_Man, you lost because you're using the wrong routine. Stop using the black magic and get on with the real stuff! I finished that Final Fantasy game in one whole day." _

"_Yeah, in MY play station." I said. That day was a world record. Emmet didn't leave my room from early morning 'till after midnight. And did I mention that that was a 'Friday'?_

_Emmet chuckled as he scratched his head, "Uh, yeah… did I ever thank you for that?"_

"_Cool! Thanks for the tip." Said Jasper, returning to his game. _

_"Dude, you got yourself into this. Please don't drag us into it!" I pleaded, not taking my eyes off the computer. The report I was doing wasn't due in three days, but I wanted to get a head start so I could have fun with my friends (excluding Emmet and Rose) on Halloween. Word spread that there would be a Fall Fair in Port Angeles on the 31st. We haven't told the girls about it yet but we were planning to tell them tonight. Emmet however... got himself into another piteous situation._

_Emmet had planned to ask Rosalie out on Halloween Day. Unfortunately, Rose got herself mixed up on another affair before Emmet even got the chance to ask her. Rose had to take her little brother, Henry and little sister, Lillian out to trick or treating and through some out of this world 'Devil's Puppeteering' (as Emmet had put it), Royce King had managed to join her with his own little nephew, Dayton. Emmet hated... well, more like loathed Royce. He was a jerk to say the least especially in Emmet's eyes. There was just no way Emmet would leave those two alone so he counted himself in, taking his two little sisters, Hayley and Adrienne with him. The only glitch is that HE had to wear a costume himself. And to prove himself to Royce, he said that he would be wearing a Prince Charming costume... tights and everything... that's right!_

_Emmet and his big show-off mouth…_

_Jasper and I laughed our asses out when we found out but quickly shut up after Emmet asked us to come with him… with tights and everything as well. _

_Emmet continued to whine on the floor, "But dude! Whatever happened to... uh, you know... friendship??" he squeaked. _

_"You know how weird that voice sounds coming out of your mouth?" said Jasper in his thick southern accent._

"_But, see how good I would look in front of Rose if I do this! Come on! You guys know how important it is to look good in front of your girl." _

"_Yeah, well my idea of looking good in front of my girl doesn't include a plastic sword, a fake crown and stretchy tights, Em. Oh God, think of the massacre of embarrassment." I reasoned in an even voice. _

_He started jumping up and down. "Hear me out, you guys." _

"_We did hear you out, Em. Three times at least. And for the last time, NO. We're fifteen. We're too old for this." I replied, still not taking my eyes off of the computer screen. _

_At the brink of defeat, Emmet flopped down in my bed and groaned, muttering words that sounded like, 'Rose' 'Royce' 'dumb' 'costumes' 'friends'… Sigh, poor guy._

_A minute later, my phone vibrated from my nightstand filling my room with the song 'Power of Two'. _

_So were okay  
Were fine  
Baby I'm here to stop your crying  
Chase all the ghosts from your head  
I'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed  
Smarter than the tricks played on your heart  
Well look at them together then we'll take them apart  
Adding up the total of a love that's true  
Multiply life by the power of two_

_A smile instantly appeared on my face. Bella programmed my cell to play that song whenever she called several months ago. She claimed that it had become her all time favorite. _

_Without hesitating, I turned away from my PC and headed to my nightstand. _

_Emmet snorted from my bed. "Sure, when the dude speaks, he barely turns his head away from the computer but alas! When the girl calls, he jumps right out of it." He whined. "Whatever happened to bro's before ho's, Ed?" Emmet crossed his arms. _

_I rolled my eyes and sniggered. I grabbed my cell from the nightstand and clonked the side of Emmet's head. "Hey? Ow! What was that for?"_

" '_Bella', Emmet…" I started, pointing to my phone, "not a ho." I smiled. _

_He chuckled sheepishly, "Hehe, uh… sorry." _

_Standing at the foot of the bed, I flipped my phone open. "Pizza Delivery!" I joked._

_The soft chuckle on the other line was enough to bring butterflies to my stomach. _"Very funny, Edward. I'll have a thin crusted Pepperoni with extra cheese while you're at it."

"_Hmm? Don't you usually go for the thick crusted Hawaiian?" I joked back. _

"Now how would a pizza delivery boy know that?" _she said curiously._

_I chuckled. Ignoring the big buffoon occupying most of my bed, I sank back into it enjoying our little game. "I don't know. How would a normal customer know a pizza delivery boy's name?" I smiled, bending my arm beneath my head to use as a pillow. _

"Aah! So you are Edward Cullen, my annoying little best friend who snuck into my lunch bag and ate 'all' my cream puffs this morning?"_ I felt her smirking on the other end of the line as I winced. _

"_Ehe… you, you knew about that?" I replied sheepishly as our game ended. _

_Bella laughed, _"Are you kidding? A monkey would know that it was you."

_I laughed, "Sorry, I'll make it up to you, I promise."_

"Oh really? Just how do you plan to make it up to me, huh?"

_Now here's my chance to tell her about the Fair. "Well," I started out slowly but I was quickly cut of by Emmet's groan._

"_Oh for the love of God, just marry her, man!" he whispered loudly. Hopefully not loud enough for Bella to hear. I glared at him and swiftly pushed him off the bed where he landed with a loud 'THUD'. "Hey! Whoa!.. Umph."_

"What was that?"_ Bella asked. Oh God! I hope she didn't hear what he said._

"_What was what?" I replied innocently. _

"That loud sound?"

"_Oh! You mean Emmet falling off the bed?" I said with a hint of humor. _

_She chuckled, _"I guess that does sound like Emmet."

_I sighed, relieved, "Yeah, he's a buffoon." _

"_Hey!" Emmet retorted. _

_Bella sniggered._"So, you were saying?"

"_Oh yeah! You see on Halloween there's this-…" _

'Oh Bella! Look at this! It'll suite you perfectly!'_ said a pixie-like voice on the background on the other line. _

_I stopped talking, puzzled. "Was that Alice?" I asked. Bella gave a tired groan on the other line. Oh yeah, definitely Alice. _

"Wha-? Alice! No! Nothing too flashy…"_ I heard Bella say. I could tell that she was blushing._

"_Alice is there?" Jasper asked out of the blue, turning his head away from the TV Screen. I just shrugged my shoulders in reply. Jasper always turns his attention away from what he's doing whenever he hears Alice's name._

"I guess it's that obvious then?"_ Bella replied, sounding quite worn-out. Oh I know that voice. It's the 'I'm so tired of shopping, I wanna go home or please get me outta here' voice. _

_I chuckled, "It sounds like you're shopping with the little pixie again." _

"Yeap! And it get's worse. It's Bella Barbie in a Halloween costume shopping spree!"

_My chuckle stopped, "Uh, costumes?"_

"Oh right!"_ she baffled suddenly. _"I forgot the reason why I called you right now."

"_Oh? So what's up?" I asked, curious. _

"It's about the Halloween plans."_ My eyebrows furrowed. Hopefully she called to tell me about the fair. _"Rose invited Alice and me to go trick or treating with Henry and Lillian."

_I could practically hear the cymbals clapping together as I sat bolt upright on my bed, eyes wide. "T-Trick or Treating?" I repeated. The words seemed to have captured Jasper and Emmet's attention because they both ran next to my phone trying to hear on to the conversation. _

"_What's with the trick or treating?" whispered Jasper who was on my left side. I just shrugged my shoulders. _

"Yeah. And besides, Alice is going to be left with little Harry on that day so she said she might as well take him trick or treating too. Looks like it's a babysitting night for us girls and Emmet; and we even have to wear costumes for it! Can you believe it?"_ Bella continued. _

_Hott. Damn._

_I mouthed the words 'WHY' as my hands went up in the air. _

"_Uh…yeah." I said lamely as I scratched the back of my head. Why'd this have to happen? All our plans of going to the Fall Fair slowly went down the drain. I was glad Bella couldn't see my strained face. I felt Jasper silently crying on the left side of the bed as Emmet silently rejoiced behind me. _

"_Wait a minute." I said suddenly. "Why do you guys 'have' to wear costumes? Couldn't you just wear your normal clothes while bringing the kids around the neighborhood?" That's what most of them do as far as I'm concerned. _

_Emmet silently tapped me on the back, "Yeah, uh, I kind of forgot to tell you about that teensy weensy part." He whispered on my other ear. _

_Oh crap, don't tell me there's more…_

"Sigh. Unfortunately, the kids want to go to this Halloween House Party near La Push. You can't enter if you don't have a costume."

"_Oh…" I replied, my spirits obviously going down. _

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I thought we could hang out on Halloween but the girls kind of begged me for this."

_Emmet mumbled. "At least Bella has some sympathy." I almost gave a disgruntled sound with Emmet's whine. _

"_No, it's okay really. So near La Push huh? Is it in Eric's house?" I asked, trying to return the happiness in our conversation. _

"Uhm- Ouch! Alice. 'whoops, sorry Bells' "

_I almost laughed. Poor Bella. _

_It was then that I heard silent ruffling in the background. Almost all the blood left my face. Was she in the changing rooms??? I shook my head. No! Bad! Bad thoughts, Edward!_

"Uh no, I think it's in Mike's house."_ She replied in a slightly annoyed voice. Wait a Minute… What!?... Newton?_

"_What? Uh, New-Newt-Newt-You mean Mike Newton's house?" That crazed pretty boy loser who wouldn't leave her alone?? I felt the blood start to boil in my stomach as I stood up from the bed. _

_Jasper quickly turned to me, alarm in his eyes. "Edward! Don't do anything stupid please!" he pleaded. _

"At least that's where I think it's going to be. Last Monday, he asked if I could come to his Big Halloween party down in his house near La Push but I said I couldn't. I assume it's the same party, I mean, he does have the house with the big yard down there; and a lot of the kids are talking about the hunted house he has set up."

"_Oh!" I replied, in a voice higher than I expected. Jasper came up behind me, "Edward… please don't say what I think you're about to say." He whispered slowly, crouching down beside me. God, I think I'm sweating. I had to cover my mouth so I wouldn't say what I think I'm going to say._

_But…Oh Lord! Newton… Haunted House… Costumes… _

_Bella's going to Newton's house in a Halloween Costume. Mike's going to make a move on her and he's gonna ask her to join him inside the Haunted House where there'll probably be a lot of touching and hugging and Mike's going to play the Knight in Shining Armor to Bella and they'll fall in love and get married and have lotsa kids! BREATH! Damn! This is NOT good!_

_Then I heard Alice shriek on the other end of the line, _'See Bells! The Princess Leia Costume looks PERFECT on y-…'

_That did it._

"_OH HEY BELLS! Did I mention Jasper and I are coming too!" I blurted out. _

"_NOO!!!"_

"_YESS!!" _

_Jasper exasperated."Edward! What were you thinki-mmph!" I turned around to see Jasper and Emmet wrestling on the floor. _

"Oh? You… you're all coming?"_ Bella asked, puzzled. _

"_Shut up, Jazz! Can't you see two-mmph!-best friends are in the middle of a-ooph-conversation here!" Emmet blurted out as they rolled around the floor. _

"_Uh, Yeah!" I laughed. "We-we're all coming! Emmet came here earlier to tell us about it." _

"Oh. Sooo why didn't you say so in the first place?"

_Oh shit. "Uhm… I…I" I turned to Emmet for help. God, I have to get better at lying. _

"_Say it was a surprise!" he whispered, locking Jasper in a headlock._

"_Yeah! It was supposed to be a surprise." I gave a fake laugh. Groan! Could I be more obvious? I could tell Bella was getting confused on the other line._

"Uhm… A surprise?"_ Yep! Definitely confused. _"Edward, are you all right?"

_I gave a fake laugh again. "Sure! Why wouldn't I be all right?"_

"I don't know. You kinda sound nervous about something."

"_Nervous? Nah! I'm not nervous." God, I have to end this before I say something stupid. "Anyway… Dad's calling me! I gotta go, see ya in school, Bye!" _

"Bu-…" _I didn't give her a chance to reply as I clapped my phone shut. _

_CALL END. _

_-Halloween Night- _

"_SURPRISE!!!"_

_Okay, I know it looks silly. Since the guys and I rented costumes just a day before Halloween, we had to deal with left overs of the costume shop. _

_Emmet got his Prince Charming on tights_

_Jasper was left with a Peter Pan on tights._

_And I… was left with a Big. Red. Apple… and did I mention it had red tights?_

_Life isn't fair._

_Now here we are, in front of Rosalie's house showing our Costumes in all our glory. It must have been quite an entrance because everyone stood there jaws slacked and eyes wide. And by everyone, I mean Mr. and Mrs. Hale, Bella, Alice, Rose, Royce, Dayton, Henry, Lillian, Harry, Adrienne and Hayley._

_I think it took about ten seconds before everyone broke out in amusement. _

"_Well look at what Disneyland washed in!" chuckled Rose. She was wearing a pink gown, which I assumed was a Sleeping Beauty Aurora costume. _

"_It looks like we're all in for something pretty crazy tonight." Said Alice in her little Tinkerbell outfit. Talk about calling Alice a pixie._

"_Yeah! I can't believe you guys pulled this off." Said Bella, with a spark of delight in her eyes. I was relieved not to find her in a Princess Leia costume. She looked very pretty in a Snow White costume with a red ribbon on her hair. It made me completely forget that I wearing a ridiculous Red Apple._

_Mrs. Hale covered her mouth as she giggled, "Oh, you certainly have the most interesting of friends my dear Rose."_

"_Thanks, Mrs. Hale." the three of us guys blushed. We know we're teenagers, but Mrs. Hale is just about the prettiest Mom in Forks; and Rosalie is definitely a carbon copy of her, except that she's a blonde and not a redhead. _

_Rosalie chuckled, "Okay, Mom, enough of that, we'll be going now and I promise to bring the Henry and Lil's back before bedtime." She said as she leaned in for a kiss to both her parents. _

"_Dude! These tights are really uncomfortable in some areas." Jasper whispered. _

"_Hey! At least you're not stuck with a big red fruit up your butt!" I retorted. _

_A round of giggles came as the kids approached us. "You guys look really…uhm, pretty!" blushed little Lillian in her Cinderella costume as she looked up at Emmet. Emmet bended down on one knee, "why thank you, my little princess; and may I say that you look incredibly beautiful today." Little Lillian's red little curls bounced as she giggled. _

_I chuckled. Emmet certainly has his way with the ladies. The rest of the kids circled around us laughing and bursting with excitement; the little boys circling their plastic swords around and the girls giggling with glee as we waited for the rest of the gang._

"_Well well…" said a menacing voice and why am I not surprised to see Royce King standing in front of us, arms crossed and smug face. As I surveyed the whole group, I noticed that only Royce looked a little out of place in his jeans and superman t-shirt. It almost made me laugh. "Looks like you three losers are finally showing your true sides."_

"_Shut up, King." Emmet spat. I was thankful that the kids were near the gate so they wouldn't have to hear our conversation._

"_We don't want any trouble tonight." Followed Jasper._

_Royce smirked, "Oh I'm not looking for trouble, Whitlock. I was just stating the truth."_

_Our faces turned red. This man definitely knows how to make your blood boil. But we knew better than to make a scene. That was just what he intended to happen._

"_You're not even worth the trouble, King." Emmet growled._

_Royce sniggered, "Whatever you say, loser."_

_Emmet's muscles bunched as he advanced towards King but I cut in front of him before anything got ugly. Then I took things in another turn as I smiled at Royce. _

"_What are you smiling at, Cullen?"_

_I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. "Calm down, Royce. It's all good. Besides, the only reason why we wore these costumes was so we could embarrass you." I smirked._

_Royce scoffed, "What are you talking about?"_

_I grinned. "Come on. Walking around with the little kids will make you look like a babysitter. Even more so… walking around with the three of us in costume?" I pointed to Jasper, Emmet and me, "Hmm? I wonder what the basketball team will think if they see you hanging out with men in tights and a big red apple like me?" I smiled, showcasing my entire costume. Jasper and Emmet chuckled behind me and I was trying my best not to laugh._

_Royce face suddenly turned panicked and he was failing miserably in trying to hide it. Okay, it may have seemed like a cheap shot but I hit him at the right spot. When it comes to the basketball team, it's all about having a clean and mature reputation. They're like the frat boys of Forks High. And yes… not a lot of people like them. _

"_Uhm…well," Royce started, squirming around and eyes looking anywhere but to me. _

"_Yes, Royce?" I smiled._

"_Hmph, at least I'm not dressed like a freak." He spat._

"_Well, I think they look very endearing." Floated a soft voice. Royce looked behind him as Bella approached us, a beautiful smile on her face. I felt the familiar feeling of butterflies start to flutter again in my stomach._

"_You kidding me, Swan?" replied Royce. _

_Bella glared. "Come on, King. They'll be a hit to everyone in the neighborhood, especially the kids. And let me be the one to tell you that the girls absolutely love that." She smirked. _

_That's my girl!_

"_I'll second to that!" giggled Alice as she approached us. "Is it me or are we all, like…paired up in some way?" _

_Bella turned to me, chuckling. "Hmm, I guess we are. You," she pointed to me, "are my poisoned apple!" she giggled. _

_I smiled and gave a bow. Maybe the apple wasn't such a bad idea after all_

_Alice chuckled, "Yeah! And Jasper's my Peter Pan and Rose is Emmet's Princess Aurora! How cool is this!" she whoop-ed! Royce looked at her like she came from crazy-land. Oh, this ought to get him going._

"_Hey Peter Pan," Alice smiled, turning to Jasper, "let's go get the kids settled. I think their a bit excited to go to Neverland." _

"_Sure! Come on, Tink!" Jasper laughed as they ran towards the kids on the gate. _

_Royce looked baffled, "You guys are weird." I could see that he was worried to be seen by anyone in his Team._

"_And proud of it!" Emmet puffed as flipped his prince cape. It almost seemed comical trying to wire up Royce. _

"_Hey! You guys ready to go?" Asked Rose as she approached._

"_Uuhh…" stuttered Royce as we all answered enthusiastically. _

"_Actually, uhm…" started Royce._

"_Yes Royce?" smirked Emmet. "Anything in particular you have to say?"_

_Royce just glared at him and turned to Rose, "Actually, Rosalie…so sorry, just a last minute thing. Mike just called and said that he needed help back in his place for the Haunted House set up and I hope you don't mind just taking Dayton out to Trick or Treating. I'll just meet you guys down at Mike's place and I'll take him from there or if you want, you could just drop him home. I only live a few houses away anyway. Okay! Gotta go Bye!" after his made up speech, he strutted out of the gate. _

_Once he was out of earshot we looked at each other and broke out in a fit of laughs. _

"_Wha-what did you guys do to him?" asked Rose, still in a fit of laughter. _

"_Dunno," I shrugged, "I guess we just know how to rile him up."_

"_Well thanks for that. I can't take two seconds with him without the feeling of wanting to throw up in my mouth." Rose exclaimed. I bet Emmet loved to have heard that. I could already see him shining._

"_Hey guys!" Alice called, "Are we leaving or what? We only have five hours left 'till Halloween ends. Kids are getting kinda jumpy here."_

_Emmet turned to Rose and held out his arm for her, "Shall we go then, my Princess Rose?"_

_Rosalie blushed._

_Wow, that's something new._

"_Yes, my Prince." She replied and accepted his arm as they walked to the gate._

_Bella and I exchanged smirks. I decided to do the same._

"_Shall we get a move on, Snow White!" _

_Bella chuckled, "We shall, dear Poisoned Apple!"_

_We were just through to the first house until Alice spoke up._

"_Now that Royce isn't around and we're back to reality… let me just say that you guys have really outdone yourselves!" Alice chuckled, her arms going to her waist then she turned to me and smirked, "Nice costume, Edward." _

"_Don't push it, Alice." I groaned until Bella's sweet laugh entered the conversation. "Well, I think you look really sweet, Edward." Smiled Bella. I couldn't help but smile in return, "Why thank you, Snow White! You look positively sweet as well." _

_Alice and Bella exchanged smirks. _

"_No seriously." Bella smiled, "What brought this on? I thought you said you guys were too old to wear costumes on Halloween." _

_Jasper chuckled, "Uh, I guess we just changed our minds then! We're up for another round of trick or treating with our friends! And the costumes… well, we thought we'd just try something new!" he smiled._

"_Is that so, dear cousin?" Rose quirked a brow._

_Jasper replied swiftly, "Yes dear cousin! It's nice to try something new once in a while." He chuckled lamely. _

"_You sure the costume store didn't just run out of the best Halloween clothes?" replied Rosalie, with her eyebrow quirked. _

"_No!" we all replied at the same time. _

_They laughed, "Whatever you say, you guys." Said Bella. _

"_Hey Rosie! Let's go!" called Henry. We turned to see that the kids already had a head start on us. _

_After two hours of walking around the neighborhood, the candy bags of the kids were practically overflowing with sweets. And did I mention that we all had to pose for several picture takings that the parents wanted us to take along with their kids? I had to pose at least three times while holding a baby of one of our neighbors. Apparently, my costume was a big hit to the mothers. Our walk around the neighborhood was so full of laughs, my stomach started to ache. This turned out to be a lot more fun that I thought. _

"_I'm tired…" sighed little Lillian as she piggy backed behind Emmet. Rose patted her back, "Are you sleepy, Lils?" Lillian nodded in reply as she rested her head on Emmet's shoulder. Rose gave a worried glance. _

"_You know, come to think of it, they all look pretty tired." Bella said as she surveyed the kids walking in front of us. _

"_Well we have been walking for two hours straight." I reasoned out. _

"_Let me ask them." Alice said. "Hey do you kids still want to go to the Halloween party near La Push?" she called out to them. We received an earful of groans and 'no's' at the same time. _

"_Guess the party is out then." Jasper said. _

_Then I came up with a thought. "You know," I started, "My house is only a block away from here. Why don't we just hang out in the backyard? Mom always has food prepared on Halloween and the kids can stay in the living room and watch TV. We could just stay there until we have to take them back home before bedtime. What do you think?" I asked. The smiles on their faces said that I had them on board. The kids seemed to be thrilled as well to be going to 'the Cullen House' as they had put it. I don't know where they got that but Bella and my friends seemed to find it amusing. _

_We were greeted by my mother on the front door. After one look at us, she gasped and screamed bloody mary!_

_We all took a step back, startled from my mom's outburst._

"_Uh…Good Evening Mrs. Cullen." Everyone echoed._

"_HONEY! Honey!" My father came up behind her quite panicked, "What? What is it? What is it?" _

"_Oh dear! I just have to take a photo of this!!! You all look so adorable! Get the camera, honey! Go go!" _

_My father looked bewildered as he ran back inside the house. We all stood there, our eyes widened. _

"_I uhm…" I started, "I guess I shouldn't be that surprised." I chuckled._

"_I'm with you there…" giggled Bella as we looked at each other. _

"_Okay!" My mother said, finally holding the camera my father fetched for her. "First thing's first!" she strutted down the porch and down to the front house garden. "Edward! Bella! Pose over here near the rose bushes for me! Oh! I am so glad I cooked overboard this year! You kids look starved…" my mother went on with her ranting as my father stood at the door, a goofy smile on his face. _

"_I'll bet you that this photo shoot would take an hour." I whispered slyly to Bella as she chuckled softly._

"_Give or take an hour and a half!" she whispered back. _

_I laughed, "You're on, Snow White!"_

"_Right back at ya, Big Apple!"_

**PresentPresentPresent…**

Leaning against my car, I stared at the windowsill that I haven't climbed into for more than three months. From my spot, I could see the reflection of the full moon on the glass window. It was glowing. Almost as if it was taunting me… telling me to come close.

The window to Bella's room.

Taking a deep breath from the cold Autumn air, I told myself that I needed this. Maybe it would make me feel better? Stepping away from my car, I slowly walked towards the sturdy tree I've climbed countless times before. Welcoming the feeling of nostalgia as I stood in front of it, I reached out with my left hand to the branch that would pull me up. After hoisting myself up, I reached for the next branch that would lead me to another branch that would swing me to the rooftop. The action was effortless. I guess that's what happens when you've been climbing this tree for 8 years. When it comes to the roof of the house, I knew exactly which squeaky and slippery patches to avoid. Crouching down in front of the window, I held my breath and prayed it would be open. Placing my hands at the bottom, I lifted it up and was greeted by the sound of a soft squeak. Smiling, I lifted it all the way and stepped inside feet first.

Once I was inside, I softly closed the window behind me and surveyed the room of my best friend.

Her computer was sitting silently on her desk cluttered with papers; they were probably essays or journals she wrote out of boredom. Always the writer, she is. Her bookshelf, overflowing with her favorite classics and fiction; some of them already piling down on the floor. Her dressers, topped with picture frames and special figurines; I eyed the small wooden lion I gave her for her birthday a long time ago. I'd give embarrassing little sounds whenever I looked at the little piece of wood but Bella claims that it's the best work of art she's ever seen. I'd just laugh and go along with it. Her closet was decorated with juvenile paintings she's done when she was five. I could still see the tiny handprint of mine on the mane of the small lion she painted on the side. It was amazing to see that memories of our childhood still stuck around in several places. Then I turned to her neatly made bed, where we've laid so many times before with Bella just talking, resting, or laughing.

A strong sense of longing filled my entire body as I took it all in.

When will the next time be when we spend time together in this room again?

Moving away from the window, I walked slowly towards her bed and kneeled down, moving my arms and hands across the sheets. Controlling the tears that threatened to escape my eyes, I hoisted myself up and lay down the matress. Lying on my side, I caressed Bella's side of the bed, wishing she would just appear. If only life were that easy. Reaching up, I took Bella's pillow and hugged it tightly to my chest.

_It smells like her… like strawberries and flowers._

My whole body shivered in sadness… and there wasn't anybody to comfort me.

**Edward17yearsold…Bella16yearsold.**

_I was thankful that the full moon illuminated my path up to Bella's window tonight. I knew she was already asleep, but tonight is one of the nights where I really needed her company. _

_Avoiding the squeaky patches of the Swan house roof, I silently padded to her window, raised it and climbed inside._

_I turned to the bed and found Bella sleeping soundly on her side, her right arm laying down her pillow and her left resting across her stomach. Her mouth formed a small 'o' as she breathed in and out. I had to smile. Watching her sleep was always a special moment for me. She looked so peaceful and serene, I felt guilty for wanting to wake her up. _

_Sighing, I decided to leave her to sleep. _

_After taking off my slippers, I gently climbed in under the sheets, my back facing Bella, on the left side of the bed. After feeling settled under the covers, I breathed a deep sigh. _

"_Hey." Bella softly whispered behind me. I jumped a bit, quite startled but didn't feel like turning around to face her._

"_Hey. Did I wake you?" I asked softly._

_She chuckled, "It's alright." _

_A moment of short silence passed between us before I heard the soft ruffling of the bed sheets._

"_Are you okay?" she asked in a concerned voice._

_Should I tell her? _

_There's no one I trust better to spill my thoughts about what's bothering me but… I don't know. I guess I just feel like a baby._

_It must have been quite a while before I even thought of replying because Bella spoke up again. "Is it because of your team?" _

_I sighed. How does she always know what I'm thinking. _

"_I take that as a yes then." She said._

_Might as well get it off my chest. _

"_The team voted me Captain for next year." I started in an even voice. _

"_That's great!" she replied enthusiastically. "You've always wanted to become Captain."_

_She's right. I've always wanted to become captain. I've been dreaming of it ever since I joined the Soccer Team. But, now that I have it… why doesn't it seem right?_

"_Yeah." I sighed heavily._

"_What's wrong?" _

"_It just…it just doesn't feel right." I replied lamely. The bed shifted as Bella scooted closer to me. Goosebumps rose from my skin as I felt her warmth radiating on my back. _

"_Are you still thinking about last week's Soccer Finals?"_

"_No, I'm not!" I replied more sharply than I intended._

"_I'm sorry… I just thought.." she replied in a low voice._

_I suddenly felt bad. Good job, Edward! You've even managed to upset your best friend. I decided to just give up and tell her everything. Keeping your misery in for a week isn't exactly doctor recommended. _

"_Alright… I am still thinking about last week." How could I not be? It's been nagging my mind like a drill. _

"_Edward," she started, "you can't let what happened in the game prevent you from becoming Captain. I couldn't think of anyone better suited for that position. You deserve it more than anybody."_

"_But Bella, 'I don't' deserve it." I replied firmly. "_I _was the reason why the team lost the Cup._ I_ was the one who lost the winning shot." It still hurt to even think of it. "How could they still choose me as Captain? I don't understand."_

"_It's because they don't blame you for it." She replied softly._

_I didn't reply back. Losing that game for my team felt like a punch in the gut. We've all worked so hard to get to the Finals… and I had to kick it all down the drain. It had to go down just like that._

"_Edward… I know I'm not part of the team but, if there's one thing I can tell you it's that I've seen changes on the team ever since you joined them two years ago. Good changes, that is." _

_My brow furrowed, confused by what she was saying. "What do you mean?"_

"_Remember on our first year…" she started. "We've been told that the soccer team was this dead, non-active team because they barely even make it to the play-offs. Even though you knew that back then, you still joined the team because you knew that you just… love playing the game."_

_I thought back to the first year I made the soccer team. Bella was right. I did only join it because I loved playing it. It didn't matter to me that the team was dead or neglected. I just wanted to play and be free. That year was actually the first time in a long time, the team made it to the play-offs and I was the only freshman playing on the field. I was ecstatic by it. _

"_Your passion for the game inspired your teammates, Edward. I can see it. You made them see that a team's purpose isn't just to win but to have fun. __And look at the team now! In three years time, you were able to make it to the Finals with the entire school cheering you on and that's a pretty big thing! They wouldn't even have made it that far if it weren't for you. That is why they chose you to be their Captain. You brought the team back alive." Bella says it as if it were the simplest thing in the world. Did the team really think that of me? But… I still lost the shot._

"_And about last week… so what if you lost the shot. It was only by an inch. If you would have gone just a little farther to the right side of the field, you would have kicked it in effortlessly. Now you know that you wouldn't do the same mistake again. You have a chance in another year to make up for it and I am positive that you will be great! The team's faith in you still hasn't dissolved and even if you don't think it's possible, I think they believe in you even more now."_

_The weight in my stomach suddenly started to lift. For the first time in a week, I felt lighter. Almost like new. _

"_You really think they believe in me, Bella?" I finally spoke. _

_She chuckled behind me, "You said yourself that I'm pretty observant." _

_A smiled a true smile but it faded again. "But… what if I fail again?"_

_The bed shifted and my whole body suddenly filled with fluttering warmth as Bella hugged me firmly from behind, her left arm circling my stomach. Even more so, my face blushed when she rested her cheek against mine, almost as if she used my face as a pillow. This feels so right. _

"_You weren't meant to fail, Edward." Bella whispered sincerely and my heart warmed. How lucky am I to have this woman in my life. She believed in me and knew exactly what to say. The burden no longer occupied my chest and I felt free. __I know what to do now… to my team. I won't fail them this time. _

_I took everything she said to heart. _

_With a smile on my face, I slowly grasped Bella's hand that was on my stomach and held it in mine. "Thank You, Bella." Then I finally turned around in the bed to face her and returned her hug firmly, breathing in her sweet scent as I always do. _

"_Don't mention it, Captain." She chuckled. It was only then that it sunk into me._

"_Right! I can't believe I'm Captain!" I said enthusiastically for the first time. It earned a laugh from Bella as she lightly hit me in the arm and I was happy enough to join her. _

_On our senior year, Bella was always there to watch the soccer games and even came to visit on practices. I'd always look back to the stands in the front row and see her determined face telling me that I can do it and that she believed in me. Looking at her gave me strength and hope. And at the Finals, when I nailed the winning shot and was raised on the shoulders of my teammates, I looked back at her as she cheered me on with the biggest smile on her face and her hands in the air… along with everyone else in the entire school._

_My love for her grew stronger everyday. It was then that I swore to myself that I would tell her my true feelings on the upcoming summer which I thought would become the best summer of our lives._

**PresentPresentPresent…**

A slight shaking sensation woke me up. Opening my eyes, I came face to face with… Charlie! "Hello, Edward."

I sat up bolt upright, "Charlie! I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to barge in I swear!"

Charlie chuckled, "It's okay, boy." He sat down at the foot of the bed.

"No, but really, I… I shouldn't have dozed off like that." I said as I sat at the edge of the bed beside Charlie and rubbed my eyes to rid them of the sleep.

"It's alright, Edward, really." Charlie smiled. "I left Bella's window unlocked for the main reason that you might want to climb back in when you feel it."

I stared at him, surprised. "You… you left it open for me?" I asked, bemused.

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I figured you'd be like me. I come in here once in a while just to think about… Bella." His head turning down.

"Oh." Mine faced the floor as well. "So, uhm, you know about me climbing through Bella's window and everything?"

Charlie chuckled, "Yes, pretty much."

"I assure you, we didn't do anything disrespectful… I-…"

"Calm down, boy. I'm not mad about it." He smiled. "If there's anyone I trust better with my daughter, it would be you."

I smiled at what Charlie said. "Thanks, Charlie." Sometimes, I couldn't help but be a bit nervous around Charlie. Sure I've known him ever since I was born, but how do you tell the father of the woman you love that you love her?

"It's been so different without Bella here." He said sadly.

"I know… I've never really been away from her this long."

"I know what you mean."

A moment of comfortable silence passed between us before Charlie spoke again. "Edward," he started. "Have you heard the saying 'you'll never know what you've got until you lose it?'"

I looked at him, saddened by his sentence. "We haven't lost Bella, Charlie. She's still here."

"I know," he nodded. "It's just that, I know that Bella was more of the parent when it came with her relationship with her mother… but it was only recently that I've realized that Bella was the parent in my relationship with her too."

"What are you talking about, Charlie? You're a great father! Bella's lucky to have you." I reasoned out.

Charlie smiled, "Thank you, son but it's more of the other way around… I'm very lucky to have Bella as a daughter. For all these years ever since she learned how to walk, she has been taking care of me. She did the laundry, she cleaned the house, cooked my meals, made sure that I took my meds, made sure that I didn't stress myself out… and pretty much everything else." he sighed.

"Those are all of the things that a daughter also does to her father. Bella wouldn't be the excellent person she is now, if it weren't for you."

Charlie looked at me and smiled weakly, "She wouldn't be the person she is now if it weren't for you too. I just wanted to thank you, Edward."

"For what, sir?"

He grasped my shoulder, "For taking care of my little girl."

I suddenly looked down, quite embarrassed but smiled anyway. "You don't need to thank me for that, sir."

"Now, when Bella wakes up, I'll make sure to make it up to her. I'm worried that she chose a College so close to home just because of me. She has to chase after her dreams. Her dreams are too big for this town… and that goes for you as well, Edward." He smiled.

I chuckled, "Yes, Chief." Now, I remember Bella saying that one of the reasons why she chose Seattle College was so she could be close to her father too. I just kept quite about that.

_Riiing…Riiing…_

"I better get that." Charlie said, getting up and out the door to the phone as I nodded. Looking at my watch, I realized that it was already 11:30 PM. I sighed. I should probably get back now. Taking one last glance inside her room, I settled last on the picture frame above her dresser. It was taken just last year on our Junior Prom. Oh, how I remember she looked breathtaking in that night.

Sighing heavily, I left the room and walked down the stairs but abruptly stopped halfway.

"Renee, take a minute and realize what you are saying here!" Charlie said quite loudly on the phone. It seemed like a private conversation so I quietly walked my way back up.

"THIS IS OUR DAUGHTER WE'RE TALKING ABOUT!"

Now that stopped me on my tracks. They were talking about Bella. I sat down at the top of the stairs and reared my head so I could listen closely on their conversation.

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THAT! BELLA IS MORE IMPORTANT!"

I started to get more worried. What were they talking about? It sounded pretty serious and it even concerned Bella.

"Think what you want to think, Renee. But I am NOT signing those DAMN PAPERS!" then he slammed the phone shut. I jumped slightly in my spot. What papers were they talking about? I'd ask Charlie but then he would know that I was eavesdropping. After a few minutes of waiting at the top of the stairs, I made my way down. I found Charlie leaning against the kitchen counter, his arms crossed and his face, really upset.

I didn't know what Charlie and Renee talked about… but I knew that it was not good.

_**BONUS FLASHBACK**_

"_**Just a Holiday Present to all of you!"**_

**………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………........**

_**The day Edward first brought his car to school. **_

_**Edward16yearsold…Bella15yearsold.**_

_EPOV:_

_---Monday---_

_The attention absolutely brought me to high spirits when I drove the car to school. Those who saw me enter the parking lot stared and pointed in awe. When class started, I heard whispers talking about the 'hot new Volvo' in the parking lot and asking to whom it belonged to. I wanted to speak up and say that the owner's right here but, I decided to let it dangle. They'd just have to see me drive it. I know I may be acting like a total jerk but I didn't care for now! Emmet, Jasper and even Rose couldn't believe that the car belonged to me. Whenever I received attention, Bella would just roll her eyes and laugh at me. I'd just make a funny face and stick my tongue out to her in return… it's childish… I know!_

_I didn't like the attention I received at lunch though…Bella and I were having our normal conversation at the table…_

"_You are an absolute show-off." Bella teased, waving her French fry in front of me. _

"_I am not showing off! When people ask about the car, I just answer their simple questions." I replied, also waving my French fry in front of her. _

"_Yeah right, you 'pretend' you're not showing off. Need I remind you that little stunt you pulled in Biology Class?" In an imitating Edward voice she said, " 'Oh, it looks like it's gonna rain. Damn, I just got my New Volvo car washed yesterday'" I laughed at her little imitation of me. "The only weird thing is, Edward… that the sun was shining brightly this morning and I was with you the whole day yesterday and you didn't wash your car so… I guess that means-…"_

"_Alright, Alright! I confess." I admitted as we both laughed. "What can I say? A guy loves his-…"_

"_Hey Edward!" interrupted an annoying voice. I didn't need to turn around to know what that person is. An irritated look passed my face before I turned. _

"_Uh, hey Jessica." I said, faking interest and failing miserably. Bella chuckled and I glared at her. _

"_Oh… hi, Bella." Jessica continued, uninterested but perked up again, "Hey! I saw your new ride out at the parking lot. It looks really hott!"_

"_Yeah, thanks, Jess." I smiled politely._

"_So uhm… I was wondering, if you uhm, want to come watch the movies with me this Friday after school. Hairspray is showing and I know how much you love music!" I think I almost gagged in my mouth. Bella shifted uncomfortably. Friday night is 'our' night. "So Edward, wanna come with? You can pick me up at six?" Absolutely NOT!_

"_Uh… sorry Jess but I kinda have-…" I started thinking of an excuse until I was saved._

"_We have a Friday Bowling night!" said a deep voice. I turned to see Emmet and Jasper approach and place their trays overflowing with food on our table. Thank God!_

"_Oh…" Jessica replied._

"_Yeah, sorry Jess. Can't back out on a Bowling night… it's a guy thing." Continued Jasper, sitting down beside Bella from across the table. _

_I shrugged at Jessica, "bowling night… sorry." _

"_It's okay! Maybe some other time then." She said, suddenly quite embarrassed. I heard Emmet whisper, "Like that's going to happen…" I almost laughed._

"_Bye guys!" she said, flipping her hair as she walked away thinking that we might find it attractive. I quiet stream of laughter erupted at our table. _

"_Thanks you guys!" I chuckled gratefully. _

"_Ding dong the Witch is gone!" said another voice. Rosalie and Alice made it to the table and set their trays down. "Did she ask you out again, Edward?" smirked Alice. _

"_Like you even have to ask…" I replied as we laughed and chatted away._

_In the middle of the meal, I turned to Bella, "So Bells! Wanna watch Hairspray on Friday?" _

_Bella grinned in reply._

_The smug look on my face never left… until the end of the day. _

_I leaned against my car waiting for Bella to come out of the campus doors. _

"_Dude! This your ride?" I turned to see Eric Yorkie stare in amazement. _

_Smirking, I replied, "Yeah. 2006 S80 Volvo. My parents gave it to me as a birthday present."_

_A boy loves his car!!!_

"_Dude! This is rad! Would you mind letting me dri- "_

"_No." I replied quickly, knowing the end of his sentence. I just got the car. Wouldn't want anyone else driving it for now. "And Eric… you're fourteen, and still a freshman." I pointed out. _

_Eric frowned, "Oh… well, I guess I had that coming." He chuckled. "What are you doing hanging around here now? Class has ended… aren't you going home?"_

_I played with the car keys in my hand. "Yeah, I'm going home. Just waiting for Bella." _

"_Oh right, Bella Swan. Well… she's talking to that guy, Mike again." Eric said, pointing behind me. I turned my head swiftly to see Bella and Mike talking at the stairs near the entrance of the campus. I fumed. Just seeing that jerk was enough to make my blood boil. I noticed Mike was trying hard to build a conversation and make Bella stay. Bella, obviously not interested, had an uncomfortable look in her face. She kept trying to move forward faster but Mike's blabbering was evidently keeping her from doing it. When they made it down the stairs, I thought their conversation would be over and done with as I noticed Bella's lips mouth the words 'bye, Mike'. But he apparently didn't want to leave yet. He grabbed Bella's arm and pulled her back to blabber some more. My face turned red._

_He grabbed her! How dare he!?_

"_I'll see you tomorrow, Eric." I said in an intimidating voice, not taking my eyes off of them. Not waiting for Eric's reply, I quickly entered the car and started it up, heading to the driveway in front of the campus doors. When I stopped in front of them, I honked the car to get their attention. Bella turned her head rapidly and gave a relieved sigh. That was enough to make me smile. Mike furrowed his brow. I lowered down the car window so he could take a better look. His eyes widened when he noticed me. I smirked at his face. _

"_Hey Bells! You coming? Mom invited you to dinner, remember?" I said loud enough for them to hear. _

"_Right! Thanks for reminding me, Ed!" Bella smiled gratefully and turned back to the gawking jerk behind her. "Sorry, Mike… as you can see, I can't study with you tonight! I have dinner plans! Totally forgot about that! Uhm…see ya." then she turned and ran quickly to the car. _

_I laughed inwardly. She owes me BIG time! The dinner thing was just something I invented and which she played along with. I can't believe that ass asked her on a study date 'again'. Can't he take a hint? _

_Bella entered the car and took a deep breath, setting her books on her lap. I chuckled._

_I looked once again out the window to the man gawking at my car. "See you later, Newton." I saluted as I brought back up the car window and drove away._

"_Thank you! Thank you SO much!" Bella said while buckling her seatbelt. _

_I laughed, "You owe me big time for that little white lie." _

"_I do… I do owe you big time. I didn't know how I was going to get out of that one. I'm running out of excuses, Edward. Can't he just leave me alone?" she whined. _

"_You poor thing…" I chuckled. "Just tell him you're not interested." I shrugged._

"_To his face? It's rude and you know that." _

"_The man is as vile as a vulture. There should be no trouble saying it." I smirked._

_She chuckled, "Fine! The day I will tell Mike Newton that I'm not interested will be the same day you tell Jessica that you are not interested." _

_I rolled my eyes, "Alright, alright, you've made your point." _

"_Haha… so, did you love the attention you received today?" she asked smugly. A huge smile automatically appeared in my face. Bella chuckled, "I take that as a firm Yes."_

_The drive back to my house took fifteen minutes. _

"_I thought you were driving me home…" Bella looked at me, puzzled. _

"_Charlie will be home late right? Just have dinner with us. That's what Newton's thinking as far as we know." I smiled._

_Bella chuckled, "Alright then."_

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**Author's Note:**

**Okidokie! A long chapter for everyone :) hope that you guys forgive me for the late update but things have just been a lot lately… and just to let everyone know… my computer has a freak'n damn virus and it's driving me crazy!!! **

**And I hope you enjoyed the Bonus Flashback :)**

**And uh… that was a pretty long Halloween Flashback there… I assure you, I won't make one that long again… hehe. I'm also trying to look for Edward's Big Apple Costume! It's pretty funny! My friend wore it on Halloween day a few years ago! It was hilarious!... I'll post it on my profile as soon as i find one :)**

**I am now getting started on the next chapter. But you do know that I get my inspiration from your reviews :) If you have any suggestions for the story, then please, be my guest and tell me about it :)**

**Review? :) If you want to receive a sneak peak to the next chappie :)**


	9. Standing Straight

**Thank you for every review :) you know they make me happy :D and don't be afraid to ask questions, give suggestions or give snide remarks :D cause they help me a lot :D haha!**

**O well.. here goes… **

**Chapter nine everyone!**

**…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………**

**Chapter 9: Stand Straight**

**Date: November 9, 2007**

**Edward's POV:**

The bell rang signaling that class was over for the day. Everyone bustled out of the chemistry lab, excited to get out of schoolwork and start a new weekend out in the city. The work has just been about crazy with the exams coming up soon. Everyone was either stuck up studying in the Library or cooped up reading in their rooms. It was exhausting!

I was making my way down the hall when Ben clasped me on the back, pulling me out of my thoughts, "hey man,". I smiled weakly as a reply.

"Medical School is finally showing his true colors, huh?" he chuckled.

"Yeah, tell me about it." I replied.

"Listen, the guys and I are watching the Celtics game at Danny's Steakhouse tonight. A last little escapade before the Exam Week takes over. You up for it?" he asked.

"No thanks, Ben. I'm actually going back to Forks for the weekend." I said.

Ben sighed and held on to my shoulder, stopping me on my tracks.

I looked at him, confused. "Listen Ed, I know that we're not really close friends and everything but I have a right to be concerned."

My eyebrows furrowed, "Concerned for who?"

"For you man!" Ben pressed. "I've never seen you like this. You fall asleep in class, you stare out into space, you barely eat, you stay inside the room all day, you take midnight drives in the City which you know is really dangerous and… you don't even talk anymore, man. It's not good for you. You need to get out more. Have a little fun." Ben exasperated to me. Having fun was pretty much out of the picture. Throughout his talk, I just stared down at the floor. I knew he was concerned but I just can't deal with an argument right now. "Ben," I started still looking down, "you know the reason why I'm like this."

"Yes, I do know, Edward but it's been three months at least. I'd think you'd be showing some improvement by now." He reasoned out. I sighed heavily, getting quite angered. "But it's getting worse and worse everyday. You need to stop thinking about…" he hesitated, "about Bella and focus on 'you' right now."

"You don't think I've tried?" I defended, finally looking at him. "That's all what I've been trying to do ever since the accident but for some reason, I just can't!" It was Ben's turn to look down. "Look, this isn't easy for me okay? Imagine if what happened to Bella happened to Angela. Would you be able to deal with it?"

Ben didn't reply. He just looked down, his face suddenly ashamed.

I breathed. "I thought so. I know you're trying to be concerned but you don't need to be! I can take care of myself." I said roughly and turned to leave him standing in the hallway. Who is he to say that I need to take a break? He doesn't know how I feel!

I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to control my bitterness on the subject. I don't normally have a short fuse when it comes to controlling my anger. But I told myself that it's probably because I didn't get enough sleep last night.

Reaching down my pocket, I checked on any messages or missed calls from my cell. I sighed when there wasn't anything. Just a few forwarded messages from other friends. I've been stressing out the past couple of weeks. Ever since I eavesdropped on Charlie talking on the phone with Renee, a sense of paranoia suddenly filled my entire being.

They were talking about Bella's life support. I just know it! And the silly thing is that I only realized it the day after I heard Charlie over the phone with Renee.

When I got back to the hospital that day, two weeks ago, I had asked Mrs. Johnson to keep a look out on any news that would involve Bella. Normally I would ask my father for this favor but I decided to play it safe for now and besides, the nurse's station always gets the latest information. There was still a slight chance that Charlie and Renee didn't talk about what I think they talked about but I didn't want to risk anything especially when it concerns my Bella.

I was just making my way out the doors when a voice called out. "Mr. Cullen! Mr. Cullen!" said a deep, mature voice. When I turned back, I found Dr. Aro White walking towards me. The Dean of UW Medical. I almost groaned but tried to keep my face straight.

_What now?_

"Dr. White. Good afternoon, sir." I greeted.

"Yes, good afternoon to you too, Mr. Cullen. I was wondering if I may have a word with you in my office… that is, if I'm not keeping you from any engagements." He said. A call to the Dean's office… wonder what this is about.

I merely shook my head, "Uhm, no sir, I can…" I nodded, "I can go."

The walk to the Dean's office wasn't exactly a short one. However the mere fact that he wanted me to get into his office means that what he is about to tell me is not good news. Dr. Aro White has been the Dean of UW Med for almost ten years. He looked to be in his fifties and from what I heard, he was not exactly a pleasant man. Even I could tell that in his voice. It was like a contrast between hot and cold; deep yet chilling in a way. Everyone was intimidated by him.

We reached his office in silence. It was at the main building at the top floor. It looked like your normal Dean's office. Full of diplomas, books, paperwork and figures; only thing is that his office didn't have the usual picture frames of family or loved ones lying about.

He gestured to the chair. "Please have a seat."

"Now Mr. Cullen, I'm going to get straight to the point." He started. God! I feel like a kid who got sent to the principal's office for doing mischief. Only this time, I couldn't think of anything I did wrong.

"The reason why I asked you to come here is to discuss your class conduct and evaluation. I'm afraid the reports I've been receiving are not entirely agreeable." He said, getting a folder out of his drawer. Glancing at it, I noticed that it was my student file. He brought me here to talk about my grades? I haven't been failing that's for sure. Unfortunately, he may have received reports about my shut eye moments in class.

"You have been maintaining a straight C and D average in your grades." He read behind the folder. "Your class participation is Poor and I have received notes that you've been sleeping through your lessons." He put down the folder and stared at me, leaning against his chair. "Care to explain why, Mr. Cullen?"

I've never been shy in front of the principal. This shouldn't be any different. Come on, Edward! Pull yourself together. "I'm sorry sir. I'm just… going through a hard time right now and I haven't been able to get enough sleep as it is."

"Might I ask why?" Man, this guy is straightforward!

"It's personal, sir." Suddenly, my shoes felt more interesting to look at rather than the man in front of me.

"Hm." He nodded. "Let me just put this bluntly, Mr. Cullen. Whatever your problem is, you'll have to get over it, fix it, or put it aside. As one of the scholarship students of this school, you need to start living up to it; and that means having a higher grade average and being a model student. I'm afraid that if you keep up this grade average and class conduct… we would have to forfeit your fifty percent scholarship."

I stared at him, distraught, "What?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen. But that's just how it is."

My mind was troubled on my whole drive back home to Forks. This is just fantastic! First I get mad at Ben, a friend who was just concerned, then the Dean calls me into his office and tells me that there's a chance that I may lose my scholarship. I don't know if anything can get any worse. The fifty percent scholarship came as a surprise for me when I received my letter of acceptance. My parents could easily have paid for my College Tuition but I was proud to see that I was able to relieve them of half of it. I can't lose this. I can't let my parents down. They've already done so much for me.

I'll have to pull myself together.

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"Yeah." I sighed. "So apparently I better straighten up or I'll lose my Scholarship in school. You should have heard Dr. White when he brought me to his office. He sounded like this heartless guru looking for more troublesome patients to punish. No wonder everyone doesn't like him. And to make things worse, I sort of got angry at Ben… unintentionally though. I'm going to have to apologize to him when I get back to school." I told Bella's sleeping form. I was thankful that almost all her injuries from the accident were completely healed. This is what I've always been doing; talking to her even though I know that she won't reply. I couldn't help it. Bella is the person I run to whenever I need to let something off my chest. Even though she's asleep right now, it still feels relieving whenever I tell her things.

I was sitting on the chair beside her bed and leaning my elbows against the mattress. "And uhm, I haven't told my parents about it yet. Mom would probably understand but… I'm afraid of letting down Dad." I stared longingly at her face. "What should I do Bella? Do you think I can pull this off? Get my grades up? This has never happened to me before."

No reply.

Running my hand through my hair, I gave a frustrated sigh and stood up from the chair, my back facing the hospital bed. "What's the point? You won't say anything anyway." It hurt even to say it.

I was just about to open the doorknob when someone else opened it before me.

"Edward, good to see you again."

Charlie.

"Oh, hello…sir, uhm," I hoped that this was just his regular visit and nothing to do with Bella's life support.

"I'm just here for a visit." He said, coming in. Phew… that's a relief. If ever they would think of letting Bella off life support they would tell me and my family… right?

"Oh. Well, I'm just going outside for some air." … out in the cold freezing air.

"Okay." He said as he sat down on the chair beside the bed.

Closing the door behind me, I made my way out the hospital doors. I buried myself deeper in my coat as I made my way out. There was a small little garden at the side of the hospital. It would be a good place to stay for now. With a sigh, I sat down at the cold patio chair. I'd always hang out in this garden during my break times in my Hospital Volunteer work. It always felt relaxing with the fountain in the middle and the plants and flowers surrounding the area.

Sinking back into the chair, I thought back to the last time Bella and I hung out in this spot.

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**Edward18yearsold…Bella17yearsold…**

_Closing the file of the last paperwork before my lunch break, I made a deep breath and stretched my arms above my head. _

"_He's so hot!" whispered a voice. Turning my head around, I found two giggling blonde girls wiggling their fingers at me. "Hi." They chuckled. _

_Urgh! I think I shivered in horror. "Ehe...", I waved at them with a straight face and quickly sprinted as fast as I can towards the cafeteria. After meeting with my friends, I ordered my food and was the first to sit down at the cafeteria table. I was mindlessly eating my nachos when I felt someone sit beside me. Someone with a sweet scent… _

"_Hey dude!" said an alluring voice. _

_I turned my head to find a grinning… "Bella!" I smiled, giving her a hug._

"_Hey Edward!" she chuckled, returning my hug._

"_What are you doing here? Not that I'm complaining or anything." _

_She smiled. "If you must know, I'm here because of a Triple Chocolate incident!" _

_I stared at her, confused, "Uh…Triple Chocolate?"_

_She answered my question by bringing out a gallon of Triple Chocolate Ice Cream on the table with two spoons on the side. I laughed. "I take it there's a Celebration in order?"_

"_Definitely a celebration!" Bella reached down her pocket and took out a piece of paper… or more like a letter. She straightened it out and held it hanging in front of me to read. I brought my head closer to the hanging document. Okay… a Congratulations, she made it to the Seattle College… hold that!_

"_You GOT IN!!!" I said brightly._

"_Yeah I DID!!" Bella shrieked as I brought her in for another tight hug. _

"_Congratulations, Bells! I knew you'd make it!" _

_She chuckled, "Thanks, Ed! And that's not all," she said as she let go of me. "I got the Scholarship!" _

_My eyes widened, "That's GREAT! I'm so proud of you, Bells." She's brilliant! I knew she'd make it! She's one of the smartest girls in our school! _

"_Yeah!" she laughed, "So enough about me! How are you doing?" she smiled as she leaned her elbow on the table. _

_I smirked, "Very funny, Bells. Now is all about you! Come on!" I said in an excited voice as I grabbed the ice cream and her hand with my other arm. _

_She looked at me, puzzled, "Wha- where are we going?" she chuckled. _

"_Out in the garden beside the hospital! Why waste a sunny day like this?" It'd be nice if we spend some time out in the greenery… okay, maybe I just wanted to spend some alone time with her. _

"_What about your food?" she asked, looking at my full tray. I craned my head for my friends. "Hey Abel!" I called out._

"_Yeap?" he called back from the salad bar._

"_You can have my food if you want!" _

"_Sweet!" he gave me a thumbs up._

"_There!" I shrugged at smirking Bella. "Problem solved."_

.........

"_This is a nice garden." Bella complemented as she took a scoop of the ice cream that was sitting between us. Bella sat cross-legged, facing me on one side of the bench as I sat with one leg bent and lying on the bench and the other down on the ground. _

"_Yeah," I agreed. "We take the patients here sometimes to get some fresh air."_

_She smiled. "Are you excited to get into med school after vacation?"_

_I grabbed another scoop. "Thrilled, nervous, excited… mixed emotions really. I received my letter from John Hopkins."_

"_That's great! What did they say?" she asked, curious._

"_I got in." I said bluntly._

"_Yipee, way to be excited about it, Ed." She said sarcastically. _

_I just grinned sadly. "It's in Baltimore, Bells. I just don't think I can take the distance from Home." … and from you. _

_Bella gave me a sympathetic smile. "I know what you mean. One of the reasons why I applied for Seattle College was so I could be close to home too. And God knows that Dad would need some help with the house once in a while." She chuckled._

"_Yeah. Well, I'm still crossing my fingers for UW Medical. If I get in there, I'll be close to home and I'll be close to you too!" I said enthusiastically. "But, they only take a few students each year. What are my chances?"_

_Bella laughed. "Come on. You pass every single test that gets thrown at you. Does the great Edward Cullen have a weakness?" she teased. _

"_Not a chance!" I sniggered. "How 'bout you? Scholarship girl!" _

_Bella chuckled. "I still can't believe it! It was such an unexpected call."_

"_Now look who's talking. You pass every single test that gets thrown at you too!" I smiled. _

"_Yes, man, but I study." She defended. "You," she pointed at me with her spoon, "barely even break the binding of a book." _

"_Well, what can I say?" I shrugged, eating my spoonful. _

_Bella smirked, "show-off" _

"_Bookworm." I retorted. We just ended in a fitful of laughs._

"_College will be really different huh?" Bella said, looking far off in the sky. _

"_Yeah," I sighed. "It will be different." I couldn't help but gaze at Bella as she looked up in the sky. Her hair was showing a few strands of red because of the sun rays shining on her face. Her eyes blinking languidly as they squinted to the bright sunlight; I observed her long lashes and how they would seem to tickle my skin if they got too close. Her flawless skin, shining like a pearl. I've always wanted to touch her face… as a lover would. And I wondered if I would ever get to do it. The pulling sensation of my heart trying to bring me closer to her seemed to be getting stronger everyday. _

_Her smile faded as she closed her eyes. What is she thinking about?_

_After a sigh, Bella looked back down and faced me, a pretty smile back in her face. "What do you think it would be like to have a puppy?"_

_I stared at her with a weird look on my face then laughed out loud a second later. _

_Bella raised her eyebrows at me, "What's so funny?" _

_I shook my head, still laughing. "Bella," I chuckled, "For the seventeen years I have known you, I still have no idea what's going on in that head of yours."_

_She hit me playfully on the shoulder. "Come on, Edward." She chuckled. "I'm serious." She took another scoop of ice cream. "I was walking by the park the other day and I saw this little boy and girl with the cutest golden retriever puppy in a collar. I know it's a challenge to take care of a dog but think of the fun memories you would have with it." She smiled. I smiled at her thought. Bella definitely is full of surprises. It's what draws me to her all the more._

"_You know, come to think of it, neither of us have never had a pet to play with." I said. _

"_Well, that's not entirely true. Remember Poof the Hamster?" _

"_Oh," I nodded softly, "Poor little guy, he never saw that vacuum coming." Poof was the hamster I got when I was five years old. He didn't do anything much, just played around in his hamster wheel. He only lasted two weeks with me before Mom accidentally sucked him up the vacuum when he escaped from the cage. Mom was mortified. But I think he lived a good life. _

_Bella sniggered. _

"_You know," I thought. "I think you will get a puppy one day."_

"_You think?" she smiled._

"_Yeah." I grinned. "One day, you're walking down the street and you see that little pup looking at you through the store window,… I don't think you'd be able to leave it alone so you'll have no choice but to get it."_

_Her eyes twinkled as she smiled brightly. "I can't wait for that day!" she chuckled. _

"_EDDIE!" said a little voice. Bella and I turned our heads toward the voice and I smiled instantly. There was Mrs. Johnson taking little Annie out in a spin in her wheel chair. Annie is a five year old Cancer Patient of the Hospital. We've become good friends ever since she arrived a couple of months ago. _

"_Who's that, Edward?" Bella asked, looking at me with a smile. _

"_That is my good friend, little Annie." I replied as I waved back at the girl in the wheel chair. "Let me introduce you to her. Wait here!" I instructed Bella as I jogged towards Annie and Mrs. Johnson. _

"_Hello, Ms. Annie, Mrs. Johnson. How are you today." I bowed, earning a laugh from both._

"_Very good, Edward dear. Thankyou." Said Mrs. Johnson._

"_I'm good too." Annie replied smiling up at me. I crouched down at her side and whispered, "Hey Annie, remember that girl I tell you about sometimes?" I smiled. _

"_You mean your Princess?" she said brightly. I chuckled, "Yes, my Princess. Well, she is sitting right there." I pointed to Bella, sitting patiently on the bench with a smile on her face._

_Annie's entire face lit up as she gave a soft gasp, "She's so pretty!" her dimples showing on her cheeks. _

_My smile widened, "Yes she is. Do you want to meet her?" _

"_Yes! Yes!" she bounced on her seat earning a chuckle from Mrs. Johnson._

"_Alright, calm down." I chuckled. "She wants to meet you too. But I haven't asked her to be my Princess yet so you'll have to keep it a secret okay." I winked._

"_Gotcha!" she winked back. _

**PresentPresentPresent…**

The decrease in temperature of the weather told me that it was time to get back inside the hospital. Wouldn't want to catch a cold at this time. This is going to be one cold winter indeed.

As I made my way back to the hospital, I was about to open the handle to Bella's door until I heard yelling on the other side. There were two voices. When I left, only Charlie was inside. Curious and dread filled me as I realized that the other voice was a woman's… it was Renee. I pressed my ear against the door to listen better.

"Charlie, would you just listen to me!"

"I have listened, Renee and I think it's all bullshit!"

My face grew more worried. Charlie doesn't usually speak like this…

"Don't you use that language with me! I am trying to make you see clear here."

"See clear? Listen to what you are saying, Renee! You are asking me to kill our daughter."

"NO! I am asking you to let her go!"

"BIG DIFFERENCE!"

"Charlie, please! It has been three months and two weeks. Nothing has happened! No progress… NOTHING! There's only a very slight chance that she might wake up."

"I am hanging on to that slight chance, Renee."

"Bella wouldn't have wanted this."

"Wanted what?!"

"THIS! If Bella knew our situation right now she would have told us to pull the plug long ago."

"RENEE, PLEASE! Bella is a selfless girl! Sometimes she's too selfless. Of course she would say that but would YOU allow it."

…

"I thought so."

"Charlie, I love our daughter just as much as you do but sometimes we just have to let the people we love go."

…

"Charlie, we have spent thousands of dollars on the hospital and on her life support. I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MORE WE CAN TAKE! Should we just wait until both of us are bankrupt and we'll have to take Bella off life support anyway?"

"We could loan."

"It's been more than three months. Banks only usually give loans to Coma patients that have just started. What else can we do?"

…

I couldn't listen any more. I stepped away from the door and leaned against the opposite wall. My breathing was ragged and my heart was beating so fast I thought it would explode from all my panic. They were talking about pulling the plug.

Pulling the plug would leave my Bella… Dead.

_Dead. _

Just the thought that they might do it… it hurt so bad.

I clutched at my chest. I felt like hyperventilating. We've waited this far. Three months at least. I won't let it all be for nothing. I won't let it happen. She's not ready to go. I'm not ready for her to go. She still has so much to do. I love her too much to let her go.

Those papers should never be signed.

Stepping out from the wall, I ran out of the hallway and up two flights of stairs to the one person I trusted most who wouldn't let this happen. I didn't feel like using the elevators. There was just too much panic in me; I had to let it out.

As I opened the door to his office, he looked up at me, surprised. "Edward!"

"Dad."

**………………**

The talk with my Dad was short and discreet. I told him everything that had happened in just one fast sentence and he was off of his chair at the next second. _"I won't let that happen."_ That's what he said. He said that he would take the matters in his own hands and that the only thing I had to do was to get both Charlie and Renee up here in his office. Of course he would leave me out of the conversation. They might find out that I was eavesdropping if he did.

After a few minutes, I found Charlie and Renee sitting as far away from each other as I entered the room. I told them that my Dad wanted to talk to them regarding Bella's progress back up in his office and they both left without complaint and without acknowledging each other. It reminded me of the times they always used to fight when Bella and I were still kids.

Walking over to sit at the chair beside the bed, I sighed heavily and pinched the bridge of my nose. Why is all of this happening? Everything was fine months ago but now… it all seems so messed up.

"Why aren't you back yet?" I whispered without facing her.

**Edward12yearsold…Bella11yearsold…**

_Thunder streaked the night sky as it started to pour down the forest of forks. I breathed deeply, more worried than ever. Looking out the window of the Swan House for like the millionth time in two hours, I searched if anyone would come out of the forest… with Bella._

_Come on Bella! Where are you?_

_Charlie and Renee called our house two hours ago and asked if Bella was with me tonight, which she wasn't. Then they went ballistic, saying that Bella was missing and that they haven't seen her since early this afternoon. Bella's Dad sent out a search party and they've been looking for two hours straight. My family came over to their house as soon as we found out and my Dad joined the search. They didn't allow me to come, which really frustrated me. _

_Charlie and Renee had just told Bella this morning that their Divorce was final. It came as a big shock to all of us. We all knew that Charlie and Renee haven't been on good terms when it came to their relationship and we all knew that maybe a divorce would be coming but we expected to hear at least a warning that they were getting one. But they kept it a secret even from their daughter until it was dead and done. _

_My heart broke for Bella. We both thought that her parents were getting quite along lately but we didn't know that the divorce was already in session. Her parents just had to tell her straight out that it was final and she had no say in it whatsoever. Sighing heavily, I left the window and paced around the kitchen. My mom was trying to comfort Renee in the living room but I knew none of us will be alright until we find Bella. The kitchen was just across from the living room so I could hear what they were saying._

"_How did she react when you told her?" asked my Mom._

_Renee sobbed. "She just sat there…looking at us like we were crazy. We explained everything and we told her that we could work this out and everything will be alright but…" she sighed covering her face with her hands. "She didn't say anything, Esme."_

_My heart started to beat furiously. This is bad. She's out there alone, upset, scared and maybe even hurt. I can't be here! I have to be out there looking for her. _

_So that's what I did…after grabbing my raincoat and a flashlight, I snuck out the back door, ran out in the rain and into the forest. It was frightening to say the least. The forest was so dark and the thunder seemed like it would strike the ground at any second._

_Don't be afraid, Edward. Just think of Bella. _

_And that gave me strength. _

_I started yelling out her name, hoping she would hear me despite the loud thunder. About twenty minutes have passed and I still haven't found her. My voice started to become coarse. _

"_BELLA!!...BELLA! WHERE ARE YOU!!" The trees were endless and I was exhausted from walking in the mud. Catching my breath, I leaned against a tree and looked at my surroundings, deciding which way to go next. Everything looks the same! How am I gonna find her like this?_

"_BELLA!!!" I yelled once more… and that's when I heard it. "EDWARD!" I stood bolt upright, my energy back, flowing through my veins. She's here! "BELLA! WHERE ARE YOU?!"_

"_OVER HERE…Edward…" Her voice was wavering. I ran fast on the left side of the forest where I heard her voice. "Bella! Hang on! Keep talking!" _

"_Okay! I'm over here! Sitting down on a tree! I can't stand, Edward!" _

"_It's gonna be okay! I'm coming!" I searched around with my flashlight, looking at the bottom of every tree… until I found her! "BELLA!" I dashed toward her form hugging her in my arms feeling so relieved. "Edward…" She shivered. "We've been looking for you everywhere!" I took off my raincoat and draped it around her form. It was then that I noticed her leg had a huge gash about five inches long. "What happened!?" I gasped. _

"_I was just on my way back home but I tripped and hit my leg on some rock. I can't move my ankle either." Bella's eyes were bloodshot and she was soaked from head to toe. I took the moment to examine her leg. The gash looked clean, thanks to the rain but I tore away a piece of my shirt and tied it around to stop the bleeding. Her ankle looked swollen but when I touched it slightly, she winced. "It's not broken, just sprained." _

_Bella sniffed as she looked back up to me, tears falling down her eyes. "I'm so sorry Edward. I tried to go back but I couldn't-…" _

"_Shh…" I silenced her. "It's okay, Bells. But we have to get you home. Come on." I turned around and hoisted her up on a piggy back ride. Her arms shivered slightly as she wrapped them around my shoulders. I didn't feel at all disturbed at the combined weight. She was as light as a feather to me. "Hold on tight, okay?" She nodded slightly and buried her head on my neck. I walked as fast as I could along the muddy forest. Getting Bella out of this weather was the only thing on my mind. She was hurt and could get sicker by the second. _

_Ten minutes had passed and a bolt of energy flowed through me as I saw the lights of Bella's house up ahead. I called out to one person, hoping he would be there. _

"_DAD!!" When no one replied, I called out again. "DAD!!"_

"_EDWARD!" his deep voice resounded and I felt a flood of relief. _

_A dozen people came dashing toward us, calling out our names and asking if we were alright. Charlie and my Dad came first, taking a weary Bella away from my back even though I didn't want to let her go. "Dad! Bella's leg!" I told him as someone draped a thick towel around me. My father examined the leg where I tied the cloth around and examined the ankle as well. He looked at me with a proud face. "Good job, son." _

_Several people patted me on the back, hugged me and gave me words of thanks and gratitude but I had only eyes for Bella, lying down on her bed with my father treating her and her parents standing beside her. _

………

_It's after midnight, the rain had stopped, and here I am climbing up to Bella's window. They didn't give me a chance to talk to her after everything that had happened so here was my chance. I climbed in silently, only to find out that she was wide awake, sitting up on her bed. Her face was covered by the curtain of her hair. "Hey. Are you okay?" She didn't reply. "Uhm, okay… that was a stupid question to ask…uhm, how's your leg?" _

"_Fine." It looked alright. It was wrapped neatly in bandages and levitated on a soft pillow._

"_Bella," I started, walking to sit in front of her. "Why didn't you come to me?" She always came to me with her problems. That's why I was afraid of what happened._

"_I just wanted to be alone." It was almost like a whisper. _

"_Bella… I thought you ran away." _

_She sighed. "Then you're an idiot to have thought that." I had to smile a bit. I couldn't see her eyes through the curtain of bangs covering half of her face. I wanted to brush it away and see how she really feels. She doesn't deserve to suffer like this… it was breaking my heart. I moved away from the foot of the bed and went to sit by her side but she still didn't bunch. _

_We just sat there… silent and unmoving for what seemed like hours but only minutes. _

_I held out my hand beside hers that was resting on her lap. "Bells… I'm right here." I didn't know why, but I felt like I had to assure her of something…that I would always be here no matter what happens. _

_She didn't respond right away but I felt relieved as soon as she placed her hand in mine. Bella looked up to me and my heart cried when I found the tears running down her face. "I thought they were happy, Edward." I didn't know what to say. I thought Charlie and Renee were happy lately too. But it was all a cover up for the divorce._

_So I did the only thing I could do at the time. I hugged her in my arms as she cried on my shoulder, her hands gripping my shirt for life. Every tear she shed, every cry she made felt like cracks on my heart but I knew she had to let it all out. _

"_Edward…can you promise me something." Bella asked, once she had quieted down and we were both lying in the bed facing each other. I nodded. "Can you promise never to leave me, no matter what happens?" I was taken aback. Did she think that I would leave her one day? It's impossible for me to not have her in my life, so I held her hand in mine. "I promise never to leave you, Bella." I swore to my very soul. _

"_Can you promise me something in return?" I asked her this time. "When you do go away sometimes… please promise that you'll always come back…" What happened today had scared me so much… I was worried to my very core, so I had to make her promise this._

_Bella squeezed her hand in mine. "I'll always come back, Edward… I promise."_

**PresentPresentPresent…**

It has been almost forty minutes since Bella's parents walked out of this room and my palms were sweating in anticipation. _What are they talking about up there?_ Part of my wanted to get up to my father's office and listen in to their conversation but I felt like I've had enough eavesdropping moments, and it would be another disrespectful crime. But I knew that I just had to trust my father.

Honestly, I was finding it incredibly difficult not to be mad at Renee. It was her who wanted to let Bella go and tried to convince Charlie into agreeing with her. How could a mother even think of sacrificing her daughter's life when she should have fought harder! After all the things Bella has done for her mother! However, I knew that if Bella knew about this, she wouldn't blame Renee. Bella doesn't have the heart to be mad at her.

"_Renee's great! Sure she's a little irresponsible sometimes and too juvenile in some ways but… she's my Mom. I love her the way she is."_

… that's what Bella always said.

I played with her hand on mine, tracing the lines of her palm with my fingers when the door opened. I looked up to find my father along with Bella's parents trailing behind him. My nervousness came rushing back in as I stared at his eyes. But relief fell over me as they softened and he smiled. I let out the breath I had been holding in.

_He did it!_

Looking behind him, I noticed that Renee had tears in her eyes and she was dabbing it away with a white handkerchief. Charlie's emotions looked mixed; sadness, happiness, hope, disturbed. I tried to understand.

Surprise fell over me when I saw their hands holding each other. Their atmosphere has completely turned around. _What did my Dad say?_

"We'll give you three a little privacy." My father said towards Renee and Charlie. What? Me with the both of them??

"Thank you, Carlisle." Renee said softly as Charlie nodded, his face grateful.

"Edward…" my father nudged his head toward the door. It took a moment for me to realize, the three of them; Charlie, Renee, and Bella. Now that makes more sense. I stood up from my seat, letting go of Bella's hand and quietly walked toward the door.

"Edward," Renee called out. I stopped and turned to look at her. It was quite hard to look at her face after what she has said but I forced myself to do so. She walked up to me and surprised me with a warm hug. "I didn't get a chance to say hello…" My arms didn't wrap around her, they just stayed limp by my sides. It's not that I didn't want to; my mind just didn't register the action.

When she let go, the smile she gave me reached her eyes but I still saw it… a hint of shame and guilt. I suddenly felt sorry for Renee, and I thought back to what Bella said. Renee is a great person. She has flaws just like everybody but she's good… and going through a hard time.

_Just understand her, Edward._ Said a sweet voice in my head.

So I did.

I gave Renee a small smile and lightly gave her hand a squeeze before leaving the room to face my father.

**Carlisle's POV**

I was quite surprised to see the exchange between Edward and Renee. I expected my son to ignore her after what he had just heard an hour ago but I saw in his face that he understood, and that made me proud.

"You did good, son." I moved to sit on the couch near the end of the hallway. With his head down, he sat next to me and rested his elbows on his knees.

He sighed. "What did you tell them, Dad? When they left the room an hour ago they wouldn't even look at each other and now, they're… holding hands?"

I chuckled and rested my elbows on my knees as well. "Well to start the conversation I told them about Bella's progress; that her injuries are almost completely healed. When they still didn't look at each other, I asked what was going on and they just started telling me… arguing is more I like it." I recalled the conversation. I haven't seen Charlie and Renee this aggravated since their Divorce.

"They're having trouble with the hospital payments, Edward." I turned to him. "So I told them, I would take care of it."

Edward's head snapped up, "What!?"

I smiled. "… and I didn't take No for an answer."

"I… I thought you would convince them to get a loan or… you, you're a member of the board! Couldn't you pull some strings around?"

"Oh yeah, I didn't think of that." I joked. Edward looked at me like I was crazy so I chuckled. "Things like this have been presented at the board several times and they never approve. It's in the rules that we have to treat each patient with equal care."

I put my hand on his shoulder. "I wanted to do this, Edward. Bella is NOT ready to go."

He looked down. "Dad… you're not doing this just because of me are you?"

I stared at him. "Is that what you think?" He didn't reply. I sighed heavily and dropped my hand to rest once again on my knees. "Edward… there's something I need to tell you. Something your Mother and I should have told you a long time ago." My head hung low. It hurts to even rethink the memory.

"Almost three months after you were born, your mother became pregnant again."

I felt Edward move beside me. "What?"

"Yes, well. It was unplanned but we couldn't have been happier. We even started planning the room after we found out that it was a girl." I recalled the days of Esme's second pregnancy… how glowing and happy she was.

"What… I have a sister? What happened? Where is she?!" Edward jumped out of his seat but I didn't move from my spot. My head still hung low.

I shook my head solemnly. "No, Edward… you were _supposed_ to have a sister."

Silence…

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I recalled the day that broke our hearts. "It was almost the sixth month of your mother's pregnancy. We were both in your room. She was resting on the rocking chair and I was trying to get you to sleep. She had told me that she was feeling a little dizzy since that morning. I was a third year intern that time and I gave her some meds that I thought would help but apparently it didn't. She told me that she was going down to get something to drink. I offered to get it for her but she said that she was fine..." I sucked in a deep breath. "and I believed her." I finally looked up to my son's face. A display of mixed emotions portrayed in his features. "The next thing I remember is your mother's scream and seeing her unconscious body at the bottom of the stairs." That memory has plagued my nightmares for years.

"Mom fell…" he whispered and I nodded gravely.

"I rushed her to the hospital and carried her in. She said she was in so much pain and it was then that I saw the blood. They brought her to the ER and I waited pins and needles with so much guilt. I was still holding you that time and you were crying out loud because you wanted your mother to hold you." I almost chuckled sarcastically. It haunts me that I still remember the day vaguely. "When the doctor came out and told me the news, I was… I can't even explain how I felt."

"But what hurt me the most was the look on your mother's face. The pain of loosing a child; anguish, grief, depression… I pray you never experience it. Your mother couldn't have any more children after that day."

"I can't believe this…" Edward sat by me once more. This was a lot for him to take.

"For several weeks your mother barely even said a word. She still took care of you, did her job and the housework but, there was no more life in her actions. I blamed myself for everything that had happened and that added even more depression in our house. Even you wouldn't stop crying. I felt like I was a failure as a husband and as a father."

"Until one day…" I gave a small smile. "A bubbly young woman, about your mother's age came knocking at our door asking for a favor."

**17 years ago…**

_Ding Dong…_

"_I'll get it, dear." I scrambled out of my office to get to the foyer. Edward's cries once again filled the house when the doorbell rang for the second time. I heard my wife trying to calm him down from his room upstairs. I sighed heavily. Even with our baby's wailing, the house still seems too quiet._

_When I opened the door, a woman with bright eyes and brown hair smiled brightly at me. _

"_Hello. May I help you?" I asked as my eyes wandered down to the small crib she was holding by her side. _

"_Yes! Oh thank God! I thought nobody in the whole neighborhood was home! Hello! I'm Renee Swan. My husband and I just moved in down the street." She held out her hand. Quite…bubbly this woman is. I shook her hand in return, "Yes, I heard that we had new neighbors in town. Welcome to Forks, uhm, Renee. My name is Carlisle Cullen. My wife is upstairs calming down the baby…" _

_She chuckled, "I can tell… If you don't mind, I would like to ask you a big favor!" _

"_Uhm…" I scratched my head but she didn't give me enough time to reply._

"_Could you please babysit my daughter until six o'clock tonight?" I stared at her, wide-eyed. "Uhm…" again, she didn't give me enough time to reply. _

"_You see, it's my first day of work in the bakery and I just can't bring my baby in right now. This will only be for today! Until I can find a regular babysitter. I see you have a baby in the house too! That means I can trust you even more than the Prewet's on number 14. Puhleez, I don't think that old couple even showers!" she laughed. _

_I scratched my head, "Well… I, I should probably ask my w-…"_

"_YES! Thank you SO MUCH!" I startled backwards when she gave me a big hug around the stomach. Is this woman for real? She reached down and slowly handed me the crib which I couldn't possibly deny. "Okay, here are her baby things," she handed me a bag which I put around my shoulders, "She's only three months old. I take it your baby must be older because damn those cries are loud and strong… She likes to be rocked and bounced when she wakes up from her sleep or else she'll scream bloody murder." She chuckled. "Her milk is in the bag, I'm sure you know when a baby get's hungry. There are also diapers in there. She likes it when you make funny faces and when you blow on her stomach; she get's really ticklish there! If you need me to come get her for any emergencies, here's my card. It has the number to the bakery, my pager and our house phone. Did you get all of that?" _

_I.. I think I did, "Uhm, well…"_

"_GREAT!" she came forward to the sleeping little pink bundle on the crib. "I'll see you in a little bit, my sweet little girl." She kissed the baby's forehead. I was filled with a great sense of longing. "Thank you so much, Carlisle! I owe you big time!" she chuckled as she walked down the steps of our house. _

"_Oh!" she called back. "Her name is Isabella Marie Swan! Silly me, not even telling you her name!" Then she got in her car and drove down the street. I stood at the front door, still quite shocked by our new neighbor. She's a little crazy but seems, pleasant in a way. I looked down at the little girl on the crib and closed the front door, making my way to the kitchen. I set down the baby bag and placed the crib on the table, still looking at the little bundle. When the baby started to move, I recalled what the woman said. _

She likes to be rocked and bounced when she wakes up from her sleep or else she'll scream bloody murder.

_Quickly, I picked up the little girl in my arms and stared at her face for the very first time. She gave a cute little moan as she stretched her tiny little arms above her head. I had to smile. "Hello, little girl." I said softly. She opened her eyes and I was greeted with the warmest brown eyes I've ever seen. I was afraid she would cry because a stranger was holding her, but to my surprise, she didn't. She just stared at me and made her small baby sounds. My heart melted when her hand reached up and touched my chin. I was surprised to see that I was actually holder her so close to my face. _

"_Carlisle?" I was pulled out of my trace and looked back to see my wife's shocked face. She stared at the little bundle in my arms. I started to explain about the new neighbor that just came by. "She didn't really give me a chance to reply." I chuckled as I went closer to my wife. She was still holding a whimpering Edward in her arms. "It's okay, honey. Come look." I gave her a comforting smile. Esme took in a deep breath. I knew that this was reminding her of our unborn child, but we both needed closure from that. _

_We stood next to each other, both holding a child in our arms. Esme stared longingly at the little girl who was wide awake and staring at us both. "What's her name?" my wife whispered. _

"_Isabella…Isabella Marie Swan." _

_Esme reached out with her hand and touched Isabella's cheek which she seemed to like because she let out a baby laugh. We both smiled. She gasped when Isabella's hands reached for hers and began to play with her fingers. "A curious little one, she is…" I chuckled. _

_My heart ached as I looked up to see tears falling down my wife's eyes. I leaned forward and kissed them away from her cheeks. "It's okay…" I whispered. "I know…" she replied softly. Rocking a once again whimpering Edward in her arms, she brought him upright to face Isabella. _

"_Look, Edward, dear. Meet little Isabella." It took a short moment for the babies to notice each other and when they did, we were quite surprised. _

"_He stopped crying!" Esme said, her eyes wide. Edward stared in confusion while Isabella smiled back. We both laughed heartily for the first time in a long time. _

"_Yes… I think the two of you are going to get along just fine." And just like that, my wife's smile was back … and I couldn't have been happier._

**Present…**

"Wow."

I chuckled, "Yeah. The two of you were like two peas in a pod. Now you know everything..."

"Why didn't you guys tell me about… mom's miscarriage."

I sighed, "The memory hurt us so much, we didn't want you to be burdened with it." I smiled up at him. "I got Charlie and Renee to agree with my proposition after I said that Bella is a daughter to me and your mother just as much as you are a son to Charlie and Renee."

"I can't bear to lose another daughter, Edward." I waited for his reaction. Unfortunately, my pager had other plans. It started going off and told me that I was needed in OR1. I sighed heavily. "Well, a doctor has got to do what a doctor has got to do." Edward looked up at me as I stood from the couch. "I'll see you later, son." And I walked down the hall.

"Dad, wait!" I looked back to see Edward walking briskly toward me. I stumbled backwards when he enveloped me in a hug. "Thank you, Dad. And, uhm, I'm sorry."

I heartily returned his hug, "You don't need to thank me, Edward. And, what are you sorry for?"

"Just…just sorry, that's all."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………**.**

**Edward's POV**

Charlie and Renee left an hour ago and I was left sitting back in the chair beside Bella's bed. What my father told me a little earlier was quite a lot to take in. I was supposed to have a little sister, but she never made it. My Mom and Dad had to suffer with the guilt, sadness and loss.

I never realized how much Bella actually meant to them. She helped heal their heart…

Great relief and surprise filled me when my father said that he would handle Bella's life support.

My Parents have helped me so much already. It made me think back to what happened earlier with Dr. White. I could be losing my scholarship. I'd be letting my parents down after all they've done for me.

Breathing deeply, I rested my head on Bella's hand once again.

"Bella, what should I do?"

"_You know what you should do, Edward. You don't need my help and advice for this."_ Her deep voice entered my head. I closed my eyes to keep it there.

"But I do need your help and advice, Bella. I can't even make it through the day without worrying that you will never come back. I miss you so much."

"_I know. I miss you too."_

I sighed and ran my left hand up and down her arm, my eyes still closed and my head still resting in her hand.

"_But you need to forget about me right now."_

"I can't do that."

"_Then just stop worrying about me. I'm asleep. No one can harm me."_

I didn't reply.

"_I'm still here, Edward. I'm not gone."_

"Then why does it seem like you are?"

"_I'm sorry."_

"Don't apologize, please. You have nothing to be sorry for."

"_Edward please… listen to me. You have to regain your composure. You have to set your worries and fears of me not coming back aside because it won't do you any good. You know I hate seeing you like this. You said yourself that you don't want to let your parents down. Don't sit here and do nothing. Make it happen. And start right now."_

"What do you mean?"

"_You have visited me enough. You're in a middle of your exam week right?"_

"Yeah."

"_Then get your butt outta here and get to work! Don't forget to apologize to Ben as well."_ Her chuckle resounded in my head, and I couldn't help but laugh in return.

...

...

"Okay. So… I'll see you in two weeks? On our day?"

"_No, Edward. You need some space away from me for a while."_ Her voice was sad this time and my smile faded into a deep frown.

"What? What are you saying?"

"_Christmas Vacation will be the next break. That'll be the day when you can come back and see me again."_

"That's more than a month away, Bella!"

"_It's necessary. Trust me, Edward. You need this."_

I squeezed her hand firmly. "I'm so tired of being away from you, Bella."

"_I know, Edward. But it'll be okay."_

"What if I fail?"

She chuckled, "_Remember what I told you before? You weren't meant to fail, Edward."_

I felt a wetness on my cheek and realized that tears were running down my face; I didn't try to stop it. Her voice and our conversation were all in my imagination but it all seemed so real. I could easily disobey everything she said simply because my mind made up the entire thing, but I knew that I couldn't. If it really was Bella talking to me, I knew that she would be saying the same thing.

"Will you ever come back, Bella?"

…

I finally opened my tear-filled eyes only to be greeted by her unconscious form. Letting out a shaky breath, I forced myself to stand up and settle a decision; which came in a blink of an eye. "Okay Bella… I'll go."

Taking a deep breath, I composed myself and walked towards the door.

An involuntary action forced me to look back once more. Each time I did this, my worry and fear whether she would wake up or not would always increase.

…

…

…

I didn't even realize that the words escaped my mouth. It was softer than a whisper and usually just said in my thoughts, but I couldn't help it. I've kept it inside for too long.

"I love you, Bella."

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**Author's Note:**

**Okay, I know some of you didn't like the last chapter. My mojo definitely wasn't working during those days. But hopefully I got it back! LOL! I'm glad you guys liked the bonus flashback! **

**You know the drill :)**

**REVIEW if you want to receive a SNEAK PEAK!**


	10. Words of Love

**Pardon me for Updating Late… :(( Hope you forgive me. Things have just been going a little crazy and I wasn't able to write my story as fast as I wished.**

**But without further a do…**

**Chapter ten… sorry, but this is un-edited :D hehe... i just wanted to update asap.**

**Here goes…**

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**(Song for this chapter: When You Know by Shawn Colvin)**

**Chapter 10: Words of Love**

**Date: December 18, 2007 (Tuesday) **

**Edward's POV**

I took notice on an unfamiliar room. My head was spinning and everything seemed hazy. Why is that? As I looked closer, I found the floor littered with empty liquor bottles, cigar trays, trash and discarded clothing. A mattress lay by the window, its sheets scattered around the floor. The lights were dim and everything smelled of smoke.

Where am I?

…

Right… I live here…

But…where is my family?

Everything in front of me suddenly spun around and colors shifted in a dizzying way. When my eyes opened, I stood in front of the front door of my home. I knock on the wood and footsteps sounded. My father opened it and his face was aghast… He slams it on my face. "Get out! You don't belong on my property! Don't come back!!" he screams as a woman suddenly cried on the other side of the door. Mom?

Why?

"Dad! Let me in. It's me! Your son." I pleaded. What have I done?

More cries came. "You are NOT my son!" his voice was angry. What have I done? Then it dawned on me. I stopped knocking.

…

Right…my parents disowned me years ago…

Colors shifted again and I found myself in front of the Swan's House.

Bella…

As an involuntary action, I climb up to Bella's window as I have done a million times before. I open her window which gave a loud squeak; as if it had never really been opened before. I jump in and confusion spread. The room was filled with boxes, dust and meaningless things… like a storage room.

This isn't right. Where are the paintings on her cabinet, the pictures on the walls, her overflowing bookshelf, her bed?

Where is Bella?

The door suddenly slams open revealing a very mad Charlie Swan in his Police Uniform, a gun in his hand. He stares at me like I'm a ghost. "Edward Cullen? You again? Breaking into my property?" he screams, grabbing my by the arm and dragging my out of the room.

"Charlie? What's going on?"

"That's Chief Swan to you! Haven't you been in enough trouble already? Now you break in to my house?" his voice angry.

"I wasn't breaking in. Where's Bella? I want to see her." I almost pleaded.

"Bella? There ein't no Bella, boy! Now get out of my house!" he screamed. Within a second I suddenly found myself being pushed outside the door of the house. What is he talking about 'no Bella'? I panicked.

"Your daughter, Charlie! Bella! Where is she!" I demanded.

He scoffs. "I ein't have no daughter, boy! Now get outta here before I throw you in the cell." The door slams in front of me and heavy breathes resounded as I lay unmoving in the pavement.

There ein't no Bella..

I ein't have no daughter…

What is he talking about?

Why does he hate me?

…

Right… he has always hated me.

My head starts to ache and the room once again starts to spin. It's making me sick!

STOP! I want it all to stop!

… and then it did.

I was back to the room where I started. My body felt like it had no bones. The bed sheets looked like a tornado ran over them, bottles and trash littered the floor. The room was so dizzy, I had to drop down to the floor.

Bella.

Without my knowing, my body started to crawl to the closet. I was digging for something, but I don't know what. When a silver box came in view, I snatched it in my hands. It opened in front of me and I noticed photographs inside. I dumped the contents out on the floor and my hands started leafing through it.

Pictures of my childhood… alone.

School… with people I barely recognize.

With my family… not smiling.

With people I didn't know.

I felt sick to my stomach. Where are my friends? Where's the happiness? … Where is my best friend? My mouth was silent but I knew that I was screaming inside.

My hands once again went to the photo's on the ground. Only this time, I recognized them. But there was something missing… or rather… someone…

A picture of my head sticking out of the sand in the beach when I was a child. She's supposed to be there. This was always in my nightstand… and, I broke it?

A picture of Prom. A picture in school. A picture in a carnival… where is she? These pictures… she's supposed to be with me. But why am I alone?

I sat there, dumbfounded with my head spinning at what I've just discovered. She's not there. Why isn't she there?

For a moment, it all started to register. The room became dark and the photo's disappeared. A mirror appeared out of thin air in front of me. It showed the reflection of a man clad in a wife beater and black jeans. His eyes were dark, his body filled with scars. It was almost frightening to look at his face.

Who are you?

'I am you.' The reflection replied.

…

Right… it is me.

I smoked a cigar on my hand and held a bottle of liquor on the other.

Where is Bella? I asked the reflection again.

'Who is Bella?'

She's my best friend.

He took a swig on his drink. 'Bella? Best friend?' he huffed. 'Who cares about that shit?!'

…

Right… there is no Bella…there never was…

...

With a sharp gasp, I sat bolt upright in a cold sweat. My breathing labored and my heart going a thousand miles an hour. Looking around wildly, I found myself inside my dorm room at the dead of night. I clutched at my head covered in sweat and tried to calm myself by breathing heavily.

It was just a dream… just another dream.

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach and my hand automatically flew to my mouth. "Shit!" I quickly disentangled my legs from the twisted sheets of my bed and ran straight to the bathroom.

……..

"Urgh…" Groaning, I sat down and leaned against the wall opposite the toilet bowl. The feeling of throwing up is horrible! They're actually supposed to make you feel better but I felt worse as hell. After a few minutes of composing my self, I stumbled to the sink and washed away the foul taste that was in my mouth. Staring at my reflection on the mirror, I kept telling myself, "It was just a dream… It was just a dream…". As if it weren't enough to convince me, I turned on the knob of the cold water and started splashing it on my face.

After a few minutes of cooling down in the bathroom, I walked lethargically to my bed and fell on my back, closing my eyes. I was thankful that Ben spent the night in Angela's dorm so he didn't have to witness my little episode. Although… this is the first time I actually heaved; I didn't expect that at all.

This dream was different than the others. I've dreamt the past few months about Bella dying or just disappearing but dreaming that she never existed? That never happened before. I could never imagine her not existing in my life, and now this dream comes along and frightens me out of my senses.

I turned my head to look at the worn frame at my bedside table and breathed a heavy sigh.

She's there. Smiling and everything.

It has been almost a month and a half since I last saw her… since the day I finally said those three words I've kept inside for too long. I sighed heavily. But it doesn't count at all. She couldn't even hear it. Why does life have to be so cruel? I closed my eyes trying to get more sleep, but I knew it was a wasted effort. I barely got enough sleep ever since the last time I left Forks, but I did do was I was supposed to, and it was not easy.

I worked my ass off this past month, trying to get my grades up. Now I was making A's and B's rather than C's and D's; but I knew I was still off. After a talk with the Dr. White again a few days ago, he said that he was content with my progress and that my scholarship is safe. That gave me great relief. But I don't know how much more I can hang on.

I've been too long without her.

**………………….........................…..…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………**

11:30 AM

_Riing…Riing…_

Being pulled away from my thoughts, I reached down my jean pocket to get my ringing phone.

Emmet.

"Hey Em." I answered evenly.

"_Hey Edward! Where are you man? The whole gang's back here at home."_

"Uh…" I looked at my surroundings. "I just left Seattle. There were some things I needed to do before leaving. I'm on the road right now." I lied.

"_Oh! Alright. We were just wondering that's all. And we had to assure Alice that you didn't end up in a dump somewhere."_ He chuckled. I heard their voices in the background.

I smiled. "Nope. Not in a dump. I'll be there in a few hours. Say hello to everyone for me."

"_Will do. We'll be in the hospital to see Bella in a couple of hours. Meet you there?"_

Bella…

I sighed, once again staring at the endless horizon in front of me. After not seeing her for more than a month, on this day, I expected to bolt right out of bed and rush back to Forks to see her. But I didn't. I wasn't even enthusiastic when I got out of bed; after I had that dream.

"_Hello?"_

Once again, I snapped out of my thoughts. "Yeah! Yeah, uhm. I'll see you guys at the hospital."

"_Okay. See ya, man."_

"See ya." I replied before closing my phone. I squinted as a cold breeze hit my face. Burying myself deeper in my jacket, I leaned my elbows once again on the railing of the Harbor. This is by far the coldest winter that Washington is expecting to have. Good thing that the weather stated that the blizzard won't come untill tomorrow so my drive home today would be safe. I looked down on my reflection on the water.

Seattle Harbor. This is the place where I'd always drive to be alone and think. The clouds were gray today. Perhaps preparing for the storm that would arrive. The sound of the waves and quiet isolation were comforting. I've been standing here for the past two hours just staring endlessly in the ocean. After I left my dorm this morning and into the car, my hands on the steering wheel brought me here, as if it had a mind of its own. But I knew that I just needed some space to think.

It's been almost five months since the accident. Since the day I was supposed to tell her I love her. I've gone from breaking down, depression, fear, paranoia, to feeling just… nothing.

All that's left in me is just numbness.

At the beginning of the comatose, everyday I would visit Bella because I kept on telling myself that she might wake up today. But the days…weeks…months went by and when I would visit, it would just be to see her face. It was like, I was getting used to her being asleep and damn it, it was scaring me!

I knew what was happening. It was reality.

Reality was hitting me in the face and telling me that there's chance that she might never come back. My heart burned at the thought. But I kept on telling myself that it wasn't possible because it's just not her time. There are just too many people counting on her. Hasn't that been proved enough?

But the chances… some coma patients wake up in a span of years! I can't make it that long without her. It was just too much. Bella is my Life. Now, I've been dying inside each day. It was like I wanted to crawl into a little hole and not come back out to see the light until she comes back to me.

I dropped my head into my hands.

I'm too tired of this… of her being away.

It won't be too long before I go crazy.

I thought back to the past few months. I was… different. All I wanted to do was to be alone. My friends tried to reach and comfort me but I neglected them most of the time. My parents did everything in their power to make me feel better but the happiness that built up would die in a few days. What else? Almost losing my scholarship, sleeping in class, being distant…

I started to wonder if this is how I would be if Bella never existed.

No.

I would be worse if she never existed. A life without her is something I can never survive.

That's why I can never give up on her.

What kept me going most of the time was thinking what Bella would say if I had done this or that. Even though she's asleep, it's still her that keeps me going. It was only in this time did I realize how much I actually depended on her. But now that she's not there, I had to stand with my own two legs and I kept on falling. The people I love around me helped me through, but I knew that it was only my Bella who could bring back the real me.

Weeks ago… when I imagined our conversation in my head, I felt so sad and hurt. Just hearing the sound of her voice heals me, but when it was over and I opened my eyes, more despair just filled me because I knew that it wasn't real.

I was staring down at the water of the harbor when I felt something cold and small touch my face. Looking up, I gave a soft gasp as I watched fresh new snowflakes falling down from the sky. I couldn't help but smile and close my eyes as I felt the tiny flakes touch my face. I could hear the awe's of the people around me as they witnessed the snow.

The first snowfall.

You came a little late this year.

…

**13yearsold13yearsold13yearsold…**

"_Do you really have to go?" I whined as I sat upright in Bella's bed, watching her pack her clothes into her suitcase._

_Bella pouted before me, "Yes, Edward. I'm sorry, but Mom practically begged Dad for her to have me this Christmas. She wants me to meet this guy." She said, going back to her closet._

_My eyebrows furrowed. "What guy?"_

"_There's this guy she fancies there in Arizona. Apparently he goes around the state and plays baseball for a living. What's his name…? Uh, Phil, I think." She replied. That's a relief. _

"_Oh. Must be pretty serious since she wants you to meet him. So, you're okay with that now?" I asked. It's been almost two years since her parent's divorce. Since then, Bella has been having a little trouble adjusting to her parents seeing other people, although she doesn't show her discomfort in the subject. _

_She sighed. "Yeah, I'm okay with it." She leaned against the wall. "I mean, I kinda have to get used to it. It's not like my parents are getting back together or anything. Come to think of it," her eyebrows furrowed, "their relationship seems to have improved now that their friends rather than husband and wife. It's weird."_

_I gave her a comforting smile. "Well, just look at the bright side of it. At least they're not fighting now that their friends. Other kids have it the hard way."_

_She smiled. "Yeah, I guess you're right." _

_It took her about thirty minutes to pack while I sat at her bed, feeling so glum at the thought of her leaving Forks for three weeks straight. I wasn't used to her being away for long periods of time…Correction! 'We' weren't used to being away for long periods of time. And this was going to be our first Christmas without each other. This became a Holiday which I was not looking forward to._

_Bummer._

"_So what am I going to do for the three weeks that you're not here?" I pretty much hung out with Bella almost everyday especially on vacations. _

_She zipped her suitcase and chuckled, "Hello?! I don't have any friends in Arizona. All I have there is Mom and… perhaps her new boyfriend. You will have everyone else here in Forks." She tried lifting her bag. "Uh, a little help here, Sparky?" _

_I crossed my arms like a five year old and laid back in her bed. "Why should I help? I didn't want you to go in the first place." _

_Bella slumped her shoulders and gave me her pleading face. "Pleeeaaassee, Ed." _

_I groaned submissively and reluctantly stood to help her with her bag. "Thanks."_

"_Why do you have a big suitcase? You're only gonna be in Arizona for three weeks."_

"_Mom left a few things here and she asked me to bring them. And Alice asked me to buy this thing for here in Arizona. Apparently it needs a lot of space and weighs about five pounds."_

_I raised my eyebrows. "Five pounds?" What could Alice possible need in Arizona that's five pounds?_

"_You don't wanna know."_

………

"_Do you realize that's its going to be our first Christmas away from each other?" Bella said sadly. After her packing, we decided to spend some time in the backyard of my house. We had a quilt wrapped around us to protect us from the winter cold and a small cup of hot chocolate that my Mom made. _

"_Yeah. The first time in thirteen years." I replied in the same sad tone. "There'll be no Bella's Homemade Fudgy Smore Brownies this year. I'll certainly miss that." _

_She chuckled. "Now you're making me hungry. Remember the big mess we made in the kitchen when we tried making it a few years ago?"_

_Sniggering, I almost spilled my hot chocolate. "Remember it? Come on! Our parents had to cut huge chunks of our hair to get all the sticky marshmallow and chocolate out of it. How silly were we to use the blender to mix ingredients!"_

"_And forget to cover it up." She continued. We laughed together as we reminisced our silly little accident when we were kids. _

"_But, you know what I'll really miss?"_

_I pretended to think for a second. "Hmm… Me?" I joked. Chuckling, she nudged me lightly at the shoulder. "Of course, I'll miss you! But I was thinking of something more important." she joked back._

"_Tease!" I smirked, taking another sip of my chocolate. _

_She laughed, leaning her head on my shoulder. She didn't need to tell me twice. I know that she would miss me; but I also know that I would miss her more. It'd be a very different Christmas without her here._

"_I was talking about the Snow, Edward." _

_I turned my head to her. "The Snow? But, it snows in Arizona too right?"_

_She shrugged, "Yeah it does but… I guess I meant, the first snow fall 'here' at Forks…" she gave me a smile. "When we play snowball fights at the park with our friends, going back home all wet and cold then we'd make hot drinks and snacks in the kitchen. Talk about anything that comes up our minds. You know…that kind of stuff." Bella sighed. "It'll be a very different Christmas. Not that I'm complaining to spend time with my Mom though."_

_I thought for a minute. The first snowfall in Forks hasn't come yet, which is a bit unusual. I sighed. If only I can make it snow for Bella...I'd do it in a blink of an eye. After a few moments of comfortable silence, I spoke once again. "Don't forget to call alright…" I put my arm around her shoulder._

_She huddled closer to my side. "Of course."_

………

"_We'll miss you, Bella!" Alice exclaimed as all of my friends brought her in a big group hug. All of us stood outside the airport wishing Bella a happy and safe trip to Arizona. We all forced ourselves to fit in Charlie's cruiser just so we can see Bella to the airport today. I stood languidly beside their group hug, my face cheerless and poignant. I told myself this is just silly. She would be coming back in three weeks. Not a big deal…_

"_Don't forget to get us souvenirs!"_

"_Emmet, she's going to Arizona, not the Bahamas! … uhm, but if you could get me a cap of the Arizona Cardinals that'd be great, Bella!"_

"_Hey! If Jasper's getting a Cardinals cap, I want one too!"_

_Chuckles. "Sure Jazz, Rose! I'll see if I can get one."_

"_Hey! I asked for souvenirs first! That means I'm first in line, dudes." Emmet argued. _

"_Oh you guys are mean! Bella's leaving for Christmas and all you could think of is a silly football hat!"_

_Smiling slightly, I sighed. I guess it is a bit of a big deal for me. Our first Christmas away from each other. I suppose there's a first time for everything, no matter how much we don't want it. I was brought out of my thoughts when I felt two strong hands on my shoulders. I looked up to see Charlie smirking down at me. _

"_Why aren't you joining the group hug now, Edward?"_

_I just shrugged my shoulders. "Just don't feel like it." I answered lamely. He chuckled. "It'll only be for three weeks. Might as well make the most of this farewell for now. Go on." He encouraged me and I smiled up at him. He was right. _

"_Edward!" Bella called out to me. I turned my head to see Bella walking towards me, holding out her arms with a confused look on her face. "Don't you wanna hug your best friend, goodbye?"_

_I chuckled and gave her a warm smile. Walking toward her, I enveloped her in a big hug which she heartily returned. The selfish part of me really didn't want her to go. But there was nothing I could do about it. She needs this trip to see her Mom. This is only one Christmas without her. You'll have to start getting used to a little separation. "I'll miss you, Bells." I said softly._

_She chuckled. "Now don't get all sloppy on me." She sniffed._

"_Well who's being sloppy now." I sniggered and hugged her tighter to me. _

_She laughed between small sobs. "I'll miss you too."_

"_Whoa! Hey! Look at that!" Emmet exclaimed and we heard our friends gasp. I raised my eyebrows in confusion. Just then, I felt a small speck of cold touch my cheek. _

_Wait!... it's…_

"_Snow!" Bella looked up in surprise! We released each other from our hugs and smiled widely. People around us stared up in awe. The first snowfall of the season! We looked up to the sky, our palms open wide to it. Bella's contagious laugh brought butterflies to my stomach. "I'd say perfect timing, huh Bells?!" I chuckled as I brought her in for another hug._

_She smiled widely, "Definitely!"_

"_Merry Christmas!"_

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

If Bella doesn't wake up within a week, then it'll be my second Christmas without her. Another holiday without my other half… I started to wonder what would have happened if the accident never occurred. Would I have had the guts to tell her my real feelings? Would she reject me or answer me straight? What would have happened to the friendship that I treasure with all my heart? Did fate really want this to happen to her? For what reasons, I don't know why!

_Come on Edward! It's getting chilly._

My body stiffened for a second as the voice entered my head, then relaxed after a moment against the railing. Closing my eyes, I chuckled and shook my head in utter disbelief. Her voice again…

_Everyone's waiting. You have a long drive ahead of you._

With my back facing the ocean, I stared at my car that was parked a few yards away. The top was already lightly covered in snow. I've been hearing her voice a lot lately. Either it was before I went to bed, during class, eating meals… they would all just randomly pop up. It was something I found comforting and sad at the same time. What's my theory for this? My mind is probably just so used to having Bella around so much that it's creating a 'Bella' of it's own to make up for the time we've been apart for so long.

'What if I don't go now?'... I thought back.

_You'll catch a cold you big dummy!_

I smiled. Yeah, that's probably what she would say. After a short moment, I conceded and walked back to my car.

..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

"Bah!! Pink nails? You better raise the money Jazz!" My eyebrow quirked as I heard what was going on in the other side of the door to Bella's room. Strange that someone who sounds a lot like Emmet is talking about Pink nails. The scene was absolutely laughable! Smiling, I opened the door to the hospital room and was greeted by a chorus of "Edward!".

"Hey guys!" I chuckled as I gave each one a hug.

"Good to see you man!" Emmet clasped me on the back. Nothing changed in his appearance.

"Finally you're here. It's five o'clock. Was the traffic bad?" asked Jasper. He looked the same as always, only a bit more tan. Hmm… come to think of it, I remember him saying that he had to accompany Alice in a tanning salon. I almost laughed. He has it bad.

"A little bit. But I survived." I replied, smiling.

Alice chuckled, "Good, cause I was really considering you ending up in a dump somewhere." Alice and Jasper went to sit at the right side of Bella's Bed and I sat on my usual spot on the left side. Rose and Emmet took the long bench in the left corner of the room. I have to say, it felt good seeing all my friends again. We didn't get to hang out everyday anymore because of our separate Colleges. I let out a breath when I sat down on my spot next to her. She was still the same. "How is she?" I asked.

The room grew quiet, and I didn't have to be a genius to know what it meant. "Well," Rose started, "The good news is that all her injuries are almost completely healed… and she won't feel any physical pain from the injuries when she wakes up."

I smirked. Well, I guess I should be thankful for that.

I just nodded my head and laid my head down on the mattress once again being overwhelmed by the scent of strawberries that is Bella. When I reached down to hold her hand, I noticed something… quite different. My eyebrows rose. "Since when do coma patients get manicures?" I held up her nails which were perfectly coated with clear nail polish.

An earful of laughs came around. "Okay, now that we're back to that… Jazz! What is the deal?" Emmet smirked at Jasper.

Then I thought back to before I opened the door. They were talking about pink nail polish? "Oh yeah, was that what I heard before I came inside? Something about pink nail polish?" I asked in a confused but amused voice.

"You heard right, Edward!" Jasper smiled. "You see, I bet Emmet here to wear pink nail polish for five days and in return, I'd give him 50 bucks! But if he forfeits, then he owes me!"

"I think 50 bucks is too low!" said Rosalie. Emmet looked at her, grateful, "Thank you, Rosie!"

Rosalie smiled wickedly, "I'm not finished though. Pink is not challenging enough…"

"Not challenging enough?" Emmet asked, surprised. "It's 'Pink'!!!"

"You're right, Rose!" Alice joined in. "We better make it Wicked Red!"

"What!!?" Emmet exasperated.

I laughed out loud. This felt just like high school again. Emmet and Jasper with their weird bets and the rest of us trying to make the stakes more exciting. "Alright you guys. But it still doesn't explain the manicure." I held up Bella's hand.

"Oh! That would be my doing!" Alice chirped. "I just… you know… wanted to do something for Bella." She replied sheepishly.

"Yes, Edward. And God knows that back in high school, Alice couldn't go a week without playing Bella Barbie." Rose explained to me with a knowing smile on her face. I chuckled, "Yeah, that's true."

"Hold it, hold it. So what if I do wear this…" he shivered, "red nail polish, how much is it going to cost me?"

I thought for a second, "Why don't we do it like this?" Everyone looked at me, curious. "Both Jasper and Emmet have to do it!" Rosalie and Alice cheered me! Jasper looked at me like I was a villain and Emmet smirked.

"There will be no time limit! Both of you have to wear red nails and the one who caves in first gets a hundred bucks!"

Rosalie laughed out loud. "That's a lot better than what we had in mind! Go for it you two!!!"

Emmet and Jasper groaned. "Thanks a lot, Ed!"

…………

We spent the next few hours inside Bella's hospital room catching up and laughing at the stories we told each other. We were all coupled up in the Colleges we went to. Bella and I resided in Seattle; Alice and Jasper's Colleges were in Sacramento; and Rose and Emmet being the farthest, both study in San Diego.

However, despite the laughs inside the room, I noticed what they were really trying to do. They were covering up the sadness with happiness. It has been like this ever since the first month of Bella's comatose. From each one of them, I could see the despair in their eyes. It wasn't very hard to miss, even though it only appears for a short moment; a small shift of emotion in the eyes. Our happy faces were only cover ups to what we truly felt today; and I was trying my hardest to keep my mask on.

Everyone was still shaken… because we all know how close we have come and how close we still are to losing Bella. I vaguely remember the day of the accident. Everyone else went to see her except for me. I couldn't bear to look at their tear-streaked and haunted faces as they walked out of the room. I never wanted to recall the day that shattered my heart to a million pieces.

Life comes at you fast.

No matter how much we believe that she would come back… it's still not in our power to make it happen and that's what hurts the most. All we could do now is wait.

"Guys, the snow is getting pretty serious out there." Jasper informed us as he walked towards the window. Indeed. The snow looks like it's coming down fast. I didn't even realize how dark it was already. Looking at the clock, it blinked 8:34 in the evening. That was fast.

Rosalie stood up. "We should get going… wouldn't want to catch the start of the storm." Everyone agreed. Alice came to the head of the bed and hugged Bella's form. "Ooh! We miss you, Bells! Come back soon okay!" Despite Alice's quirky attitude, I knew she was fighting back a sob.

I stepped away from the bed to give the four of them more space.

Rosalie came up to the other side and placed her hand on Bella's head with a sad smile on her face. "We'll see you soon, Bella." She said softly. Emmet came up next to her and held Bella's hand between his two bear paws. "Wake up soon, okay Squirt?!"

"Yeah! If you wake up soon, you'll get to see your so called guy friends wearing red nail polish." Jasper chuckled, holding her other hand earning laughs from each one of us. Leave it to Jasper to calm and lighten anyone's spirit.

I took in the scene in front of me. There is just so much love we have for Bella. Thinking back to the days we spent together through the past years… how perfect it had been. It's amazing to see that our circle of friendship never broke despite all the ups and downs that we have gone through. But now that one of us has a life at stake, our ground was shaking and we had to plaster fake smiles on our faces for the sake of getting more hurt even though we already are.

I wished that none of us would ever lose hope on Bella. Loosing her would be loosing a part of the Family.

**Alice's POV**

I almost let out a strangled sob as I hugged Bella's sleeping body. I miss her so much! It has been almost five months since that day and not having her around was just so… uncanny.

Every single day I felt like I've always forgotten something and the feeling would bug me until the end of the day. The feeling was always nagging me and I didn't know how to make it go away. It was the weirdest thing. It took me a while to realize that the nagging feeling was actually the empty space in my heart; a space where Bella used to be but it disappeared. I never realized how her absence was affecting me so much.

Bella was always there. She helps keep me on track. She helps me in school, my personal life, my problems… I call her almost everyday. She supports me and takes care of me more than I have ever thought. She's one of my best friends! I couldn't bear the thought of her never coming back. The last time I saw her, weren't we just fitting in a new dress in my room with Rosalie? Everything happened so suddenly.

'Bella' I thought. 'Please come back! I need you… we all need you! You can't go… not yet.'

I took a peak at the corner of my eye and noticed Edward standing at the side of the room, his face expressionless. He looked so different. It's obvious that he's keeping a mask on. You'd see a smile in his face but on the inside I felt like he was fading. I can't even imagine how hard this must be for Edward to bear.

But then, just the thought of the one you love… I glanced toward _him _standing next to me,holding Bella's hand… the thought of the one you love dying, it was like a knife to the heart. For so long, I have loved him.

'Bella, your story is not finished yet. Someone loves you with all his heart and soul… you'll make it through this.'

………

**Rosalie's POV**

I still can't believe it has been this long. It's been so hard these past months… with the feeling that one of the most important people in your life could just disappear.

Looking at Bella's face, you'd expect that she would wake up in just a minute but it's just not happening. I felt like crying every time I would look at her face. I can't even begin to explain how much I miss her. She doesn't deserve this. But if there's one thing I do know, it's that her time is not up yet. No matter how unfair life is, they just can't take it away from her yet.

Now I understand more than ever the saying 'you don't know what you've got until you've lost it'. I know we haven't lost Bella but it was during these past few months that I realized how much I relied on her. I tell Bella almost everything and she has this distinct ability to make you feel better no matter how bad you're feeling. It's funny, in a way, Bella's kind of like my therapist or something. She always knew what to say. She was always there for me no matter what situation I get into. I'm so lucky and thankful to have all these people surrounding me and to have a best friend like Bella.

Then I thought about Edward; how this must be breaking him. The woman he loves… I could see that he was trying to be strong but, every time I looked at him, he was slowly getting worse.

Oh Edward… just hang in there.

I sighed. What I'd give to bring her back.

I jumped out of my thoughts when I felt big warm hands wrap around my shoulders. I felt shivers run down my arms at his touch and then relax. How safe I would always feel in his arms. "Let's go, Rosie."

I smiled up at him. "Okay."

………

**Emmet's POV**

We were all about to walk to the door when I noticed Edward no moving from his spot. "You coming, man?"

He looked up to us with a small smile in his face and shook his head. "No. I'm staying here." I stared at him with conviction.

"Don't be silly, Ed. There's a blizzard coming tomorrow. I think it'll be much safer if you stay the night in a couple of days." Alice said. But Edward just shook his head and moved next to Bella. I hated the scene. A man standing next to the hospital bed of the woman he loves and there's no knowing if she'll survive. And what's worse is that those two people are one of your best friends.

"It's okay, Alice." He told her. "I want to be here." I see a smile on his face but I knew it was only to hide what he was truly feeling. I stared at Bella's sleeping form at the bed and gave a sad breath. I miss her.

I miss my little sister… Bella. My sister who would always laugh at my jokes no matter how corny it is, who was always there no matter what happened, who would help me through the problems and tell me what to do.

I couldn't stand seeing Edward and Bella in this situation. They never really functioned correctly when apart. If I were in Edward's situation right now… I… I wouldn't know if I can take it… If anything happened to the woman I love… just the thought makes my chest hurt like hell.

"Are you sure, Edward?" _she_ asked, concerned. He nodded, "I'm sure. I wouldn't want Bella to be alone in a Blizzard." And that made us all smile. He's right. I really couldn't think of a better person suited for Bella than Edward. I only hope that they would get their happy ending… and I also hope that I could make mine happen as well.

"Alright well… take care of her, dude." I smiled and waved goodbye to him. "Always, man."

I chuckled. He gets so cheesy sometimes…

I wrapped my arm around the woman I loved with all my heart and soul and felt her lean in to me as we said our bye's to Edward.

………

**Jasper's POV**

"See ya, Edward." I said to Edward and took one last glance at Bella's unconscious form before leaving the room.

"Oh!" Alice jumped lightly and turned to Edward. "Call us okay… if anything comes up or if you need something." She smiled. Classic Alice. Always watching out for us. It's one of the many things that draw me to her.

"Of course." Edward chuckled. And with that, we left the room and braced ourselves to the strong wind outside the hospital. I was afraid Alice would have a hard time moving against the wind so I tucked her safely under my arm and she happily consented.

"Damn, it's really coming down hard." Emmet remarked as we ran as quickly as possible to the parking lot. Thankfully we brought two cars so it wouldn't take long for one person to bring everyone back home. I called out to Emmet, "Em! You take Rose home, I'll take Alice." He nodded and we said our short goodbyes. I ushered Alice to the passenger side of my car before getting in myself. I drove straight out of the parking lot after starting the car and Alice and I fell into a little conversation. We fell into comfortable silence while listening to the radio music. As the songs came through the speakers, it was then that my thoughts gathered.

Almost five months… I still couldn't believe it. It was difficult for all of us and hard to ignore… especially to Edward.

Bella… she's like the little sister I never had. The person who'd always accompany me to Libraries, Museums or Book tours; those were are main bonding times. We'd always seem to have the same thirst for knowledge. It was funny really; Edward would sometimes act livid around me whenever I steal her away for a study group. She was the first one to know about my… crush… which soon developed into love for Alice. And just like most little sisters… she'd tease me about it but help me through it. I really miss her.

Then my thoughts drifted to Edward's situation. He was supposed to tell her he loved her on the day of the accident. I even remember him telling me about it; how nervous and excited he had been. Then this had to happen… and now we don't know if ever she'll make it through. I couldn't imagine being in his situation. Having the one you love in peril. The thought just kills me.

But my thoughts of distress soon ebbed away when I felt her small hand touch mine. "Are you all right, Jazz?" I turned, seeing her concerned face and I gave her a soft smile. "I'm all right, Ali."

Would I ever be able to tell Alice how I feel? Can I risk our friendship for a chance at love? I was sure that these were the very questions that also plagued Edward; but I knew that now, more than ever, he wishes he had been able to say it sooner before all this had happened… before the accident happened.

All too soon, we were in front of Alice's house and she was unbuckling her seatbelt. "Thanks a lot, Jazz." She smiled at me and my heart melted as it always does.

_Life is too short. Sometimes you just have to take chances. _My heart was beating furiously.

"Jasper? Are you okay?" I turned to look at her, determination at my side. She looked at me with puzzled eyes. I took her hand and pulled her gently close to me, earning a soft gasp from her. "Alice…" I started, staring at her wide amber eyes. Completely forgetting what to say next, I leaned my head in and kissed her on the lips. She was shocked, I could tell, but she didn't pull away. I poured everything I had in that kiss, telling her everything I wanted to and I was drowning in the feelings that I wanted to pour out.

My heart rejoiced when I started to feel her kiss back. It was gentle and loving… it was Amazing! I pulled away and cupped her face in my hands. "I love you, Alice."

..................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

**Edward's POV**

It was almost eleven in the evening when my father came up to check on us in Bella's hospital room. He was a bit surprised to hear that I was staying the night but didn't complain. I knew he'd understand. He gave me the keys to his office in case I ever needed anything. I gave him a hug goodbye before he left and settled once again on the chair next to Bella. I laid my head on my arms on the mattress, not knowing that I actually drifted off to sleep in a few minutes… thinking about the last time she was actually awake by my side.

**Almost Five Months ago…**

_I heard a sweet chuckle followed by a slight tickling sensation in my nose. Absently ignoring it, I burrowed myself further on the pillows, wanting to get more sleep. I was so comfortable with the softness and the fragrance of the bed and the room around me; I didn't want to wake up yet. Just as I was about to drift off, the tickling sensation came again and my nose involuntarily scrunched up. I became more aware now of the soft sound of amusement next to me. _

_I almost laughed after understanding came to me slowly this morning. _

_Bella._

_I crept into Bella's room last night to sleep beside her._

_Soft brushes came across my face once again; and then I realized it was a feather. The one she kept inside her little jar of pens and pencils, disguising it like a quill. It came to tickle my ear and I couldn't help but groan. She chuckled a little loudly this time. Oh yeah? Two people can play that game. I sensed her on bended knees on her side of the bed. Pretending to stretch on the bed without opening my eyes, I swiftly grabbed her waist and she shrieked in surprise. Dragging her down on the bed, I rested my entire upper body down on her stomach, trying to keep my sleeping act and avoiding laughing out loud._

"_WAah! Ooph! Edward!" Bella laughed trying to push my heavy body out of her stomach. Aaahh! This is a good way to wake up! "Okay! Okay you win! Getoff." She chuckled sweetly._

_Still keeping my sleep façade, my arms reached down and started to tickle at her sides. She started squirming around and her laughter was so contagious, I couldn't help but chuckle myself, even though I was fighting not to. _

"_Edward! Stop! Stop! Sto-o-op!" She forced out between laughs, squirming beneath me. I wasn't going to stop, however her hands moved toward my neck, touching me in my most ticklish spot. "Aah! No no no! Okay! I'll stop, Bella!" Getting off of her stomach I opened my eyes to find ourselves lying down, chuckling and breathing from our little tickle fight. I laid on my stomach; she laid on her back. _

_I love waking up next to her in the morning. Seeing her hair all in disarray, her brown eyes shining like new, her smile…it was just so, so captivating; and I found it incredibly appealing. I could look at her forever and die a happy man. _

_Seeing the feather next to my head, I took it and started doing to her what she did to wake me up. Surprised, she gave the cutest snort and brushed it away from her nose, laughing at me. "What's with the feather wake up call?" I sniggered at her. She simply shrugged her shoulders. "Just wanted to have a bit of fun." _

"_But I was still sooo sleepy!" I said in a whiny voice. _

"_Well, you need to learn to wake up before noon in a regular day! Mornings are nice!" _

"_Sleeping is nice too you know." Bella chuckled. "Sorry, sweetie! I just couldn't help it." _

_I smiled and stroked her hair which was sprawled out on the pillow. "You're forgiven, honey." Calling each other nicknames has always been our thing in the morning. But… if only she knew how I longed to call her 'love'. _

_I looked at her clock at the nightstand. "How could you wake up so early? It's summer vacation for crying out loud." She looked at me, "Cause I have work, that's why." _

_Then I remembered. Today's Friday! Today's the day…_

"_Don't look so surprised. You know I always work on Fridays now." _

_I leaned up on my elbows. "R-right! I know." But I just remembered that today's the day I plan to tell you that I Love You. _

"_Okay, well…" She rolled over my back, surprising me and got off the bed. "I have to get ready. So you can go off to dream world for a few minutes, okay Mister Sleepyhead?" She said as she walked to her closet to grab her clothes for the day. _

"_Mhm. Wake me before you leave okay?" Bella nodded in reply as she walked out her room and into the bathroom. Once she was out of earshot did I sit upright on the bed. I don't think I can sleep now. _

_Calm down, Edward. You'll be all right! You've thought through this. It'll be okay! It'll be okay! … right?_

_Groaning in annoyance, I clutched at my head and sank back into the covers. "Damn it!" Taking a deep breath, I stared at the ceiling of Bella's room. I've prepared everything right? Where we were going to talk, what I was going to say, when I was going to say it. _

_Oh damn,… what if I forget everything? What if I mumble the words and she would get the wrong idea? Oh no…_

_Maybe I should postpone. _

"_Aah!" No! No I won't postpone it! It's Now or Never! _

_I laid there for the next ten minutes battling my inner demons at work. It was so confusing! It was like I had my tiny shoulder angel and demon talking to me and… making me get a migraine. Groaning irritatingly, I grabbed the pillow and placed it over my head, covering my vision from the world. _

_I love Bella, I really do!... Oh God, who am I kidding! I love her more than anything in this world! My feelings for her grow stronger everyday, I thought I could explode from it! But, I value our friendship too. I'd rather die than lose her as a friend… and as something more. Does Bella even feel anything for me? Now that's a question that I would love to get an answer to._

_If there's one thing I know, it's that I know her more than anybody and she knows me more than anyone as well. There were a few moments in our life where I would think her actions were intentions of love for me, but later on I would think that 'every best friend does that'. I couldn't read or interpret what she was doing. Friendly gesture or I secretly love you gesture? _

_I Don't Know!!_

_We keep referring to ourselves as Best Friends. But every time we say that, my chest would sting slightly because I've always wanted something more. Does she ever think that we could be something more? Friends to Lovers… there are a lot of stories like that right? _

_I sighed underneath the pillow. If I don't do this… I know that I would regret it for the rest of my life. _

_If she returns my feelings… then the world would be PERFECT!_

_But if not… my heart burned… I would tell her that I just wanted her to know and she doesn't have to do anything about it. Our friendship is more important than my feelings and I wouldn't want anything to ruin it. But the question is, would we return to our normal lives? Or, would I be able to take it? Answers to both the questions were far from anything that was good. We might probably be more distant._

_However, knowing Bella, she would see that we couldn't live without each other. We never liked being apart… in fact, we hated it! It felt so unnatural. So… why can't we just be together? I mean, 'together' together! _

_Shit! I'm so confused!_

_Suddenly, the pillow on top of my face was released from my grasp and my eyes squinted to the sudden light. "Ow…"_

"_Oh! Sorry!" The pillow returned. Wow. I was too preoccupied with my thoughts, I didn't even hear Bella come in. I took a peek out of the pillow to see Bella now fully dressed and hair blow dried. Stunning as always! She smiled down on me and laid down the bed sideways to face me. "Are you okay? You were holding your pillow so hard down your head I thought you were suffocating yourself."_

_That may as well have been what I was doing. I turned on my side to face her._

_Every time I look into her eyes, I feel as if I could tell her everything. They were just so deep, soft and understanding; it's easy to get lost in them. However, they were also very easy to read. Her eyes are what always give her away, that's why Bella has never been a good liar. It's odd how something so beautiful could also bring such a disadvantage. But to me, they were never a disadvantage. When I see her eyes, I 'see' her. The real Bella. So I wondered, if I could read her so easily, wouldn't I have known by now if she ever felt anything for me?_

"_What?" she asked, her eyes questioning. _

"_What?" I asked back._

_She eyebrows furrowed. "You've been staring at me for like ten seconds. Do I have something in my face?" her hands reaching up to touch her cheek. I've been staring? I almost kicked myself for it, but then, I couldn't help it! Way to give yourself away, Edward!_

_Chuckling slightly in embarrassment, I took the hand that was on her cheek and put it down. "No," I smiled. "You just have really beautiful eyes that's all." My eyes suddenly widened and my hand almost flew up to my mouth. Did I just say that?? _

_I looked up to see Bella wearing a blank expression. Oh shit!_

_Stupid mouth!!! Why did I say that!? I opened my mouth to say something else to contort it, but when I saw her face turning pink, I faltered. She's blushing! When Bella looked down and gave an embarrassed chuckle, my heart fluttered. Phew! That was close! _

"_You…you have even more beautiful eyes you know…" she whispered, still blushing. _

_My spirits brightened and before I knew it, I started laughing. Bella hit me lightly on my chest but I still couldn't contain my laughter. "Edward!" she chuckled, her red face still prominent. "Stop laughing! It's not funny!" Bella covered her blushing face with both her hands. I couldn't help it! Could she be any cuter? I almost forgot how Bella would blush profusely whenever someone would compliment her looks. She's just so beautiful but she never sees it. _

"_Bellaaa…" I chuckled, sitting up on my knees and tried to take her hands of her face but she only whined in return, making me laugh and hug her form. Yeap! She can be a lot cuter! "Come on! Don't hide, it's just me." I settled my face above hers, so when she lets go of her hands, she would see me smiling down at her, which is precisely what she did. She chuckled and looked away from my face. "You're cruel you know that." _

_My chin rested on her shoulder. "What's so cruel about saying how beautiful your best friend is?" _

_Her face blushed again and she squinted her eyes, placing her hands once again on her face. "You know why, Edward." She mumbled underneath her palms._

_I chuckled softly and buried my nose in her hair. "Silly Bella." _

_Yes, I knew why Bella doesn't like being called beautiful. Her cute little blush would always embarrass her in front of people… even in front of me, her best friend. _

_I hated it! I couldn't get how this perfect girl in front of me would be so painfully insecure. Everyone could see how beautiful and kind she is but no matter how many times they say it, she still couldn't see herself clearly. _

_I wanted there to be someone for her. Someone who would always tell her every single day how beautiful and perfect she is inside and out. Someone who would show to the whole world how lucky he is to have a woman like her. Someone who would treasure her and love her with all his heart and soul. _

_I wanted to be that person. _

_Trailing out of my thoughts, Bella moved under my arms and glanced at the clock. "Oh," she groaned and wriggled out of my arms, much to my dismay. "I have to go. If I stay in bed a little longer, I'm pretty sure I would fall asleep." I watched her go around the room, grabbing the things she needed for work. _

_I wanted her to be mine. No… I needed her to be mine._

_Fixing herself upright, she turned to me and I smiled in return. She chuckled, fixing the bag strap on her shoulder. "See you later, sweetie." She waved and turned to the door._

"_Wait!" I called out, her hand already on the doorknob. "No kiss goodbye, honey?" I teased her, sounding hurt and put my hand on my heart. Smirking, Bella just rolled her eyes and walked back towards the bed. Smiling widely, I leaned up on my elbow, closed my eyes and waited for her kiss which I expected to be on either the cheek or the forehead. Little did I know that she had other intentions in her mind. _

_To my surprise, she cupped my face between her hands. My eyes suddenly popped open to see her face smiling brightly. Then she leaned down._

_WHOA!!!_

_Oh… oh wait… she kissed my nose. It was a cute little kiss. The ones she always used to give me when we were younger. I snickered. My heart melted at her gesture. _

_She chuckled and lightly tapped my nose with her finger. "See you tonight, Edward."_

_And with that, she straightened up and went out the door. Her truck's engine started a minute later and I waited until I heard it drive away._

_I laid sprawled out down on her bed, my body facing the ceiling. A confident smile on my face._

_I'm telling her._

_No doubt about it. _

_I'm telling her tonight!_

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

My body woke up and my eyes opened in the dead of night. I blinked and focused on my surroundings, Bella's Lullaby drifting throughout the room. Sitting upright, I felt my back crack due to the uncomfortable position I've been in for the past few hours. After sighing heavily in slack of sleep, I stared at her sleeping face.

I haven't thought of that morning in a long time. I remembered every single second. How sweet and amazing it felt to wake up next to her, to see her blush in the morning, to laugh, and to feel her sweet kiss on the tip of my nose.

I hoped to have more mornings with her. A lifetime of mornings… but in order for that to happen, she'd have to come back to me first… but she's not.

Standing up, once again I climbed in under the covers gently to lie down beside her, placing my arm across her chest just as I have done so many times before. Closing my eyes, my thoughts brought me back to that morning once again. The last morning that I've seen her eyes open, her blush, and her smile.

I sighed painfully. "Please don't make it be the last."

_I wanted there to be someone for her. Someone who would always tell her every single day how beautiful and perfect she is inside and out. Someone who would show to the whole world how lucky he is to have a woman like her. Someone who would treasure her and love her with all his heart and soul._

I stared longingly at her beautiful face. What I'd give to have her eyes open even if it were only for just a second.

_I've always wanted to touch her face… as a lover would._

As if acting on instinct, my hand reached up to caress her peaceful features. My fingers danced across her cheek, then up to her forehead. Her skin was so soft and smooth. I loved touching her face when she was asleep. If she weren't in this state, her head would lean in toward my palm as she has always done. Tracing down her soft profile from her nose down to her lips, my hands then lingered on her closed eyelids.

_You just have really beautiful eyes that's all._

I remember back then, on the day of the accident, how ready I had been to tell her my true feelings. Waiting restlessly for her to climb in through my window. What would have happened then if the accident never occurred? Would she return my feelings? Or break my heart? Would we go back to being just friends… or would we be something more? Something I've always dreamed we would be?

I groaned in silent frustration. There are just too many questions revolving around my head. Focus on 'here'! Right now! She's in your arms, breathing and alive.

That's all that matters for now.

I took her hand that rested limply on the bed and brought it up to my lips. "Bella…" I whispered. "I love you so much." The feeling was bittersweet. Maybe I… maybe I could just tell her now…

_I'm telling her. No doubt about it. I'm telling her tonight!_

There might not be another chance. No matter how much it hurts, life comes at you fast. Just make the most of it. It might come to something good.

"You don't know how much I wish that you could hear me right now." It came out as a strangled sob but I tried to compose myself for this.

Summoning up a deep breath which came out in a shudder, I spoke my words.

"Bella… You and I… we've been best friends our whole lives. We grew up together and, we watched each other grow up to who we are today. You are the person who knows me more than anyone and, I'm certain that I know you more than anyone as well. I treasure every single memory with you and believe me, I wouldn't trade a second of it, no matter how sad, angry or hurtful the memory is, I wouldn't care because all that matters is that I was with you." Taking a breath, I felt my eyes start to well up. But I wasn't going to stop.

"In my entire life, Bella, you are the one I have always looked up to. You are the one I always relied on, the one I always admired, the one I always cared so deeply about. To me, you are the most beautiful person on the inside and the outside! I love the way your face lights up when you laugh or smile, even the way your face turns red when you're angry at me or when you blush. Trust me, I adore that about you. I love waking up next to you in the morning and all the ways we used to fool around with each other. I love having you in my arms or the way your hand feels in mine… how you would say my name in your sleep, how you ruffle up my hair when I've done something stupid…" my body started chuckling as I recalled our silly moments; but the chuckle also came out as half a sob. Tears were now falling down my eyes in bittersweet sadness.

"Believe me, there are a million other things I could say but it would take me a lifetime… if you would give me a chance or allow me to say them all then I would do it! You…" I sobbed. "You are the first person I think about in the morning, and the only one I dream about at night. It breaks my heart to see you sad or hurt. If only I had the power to take that pain away from you, I would do it in a heartbeat."

Another chuckle came out between a sob, "You are one of the most stubborn people in this planet but I…" I couldn't help it anymore; I let the tears flow freely and my body was overcome with heaving sobs. How I wish she could hear me. "but I love that about you. God, Bella, I love everything about you." I brought my face closer to hers and my lips lingered on her temple, trembling as I did so. My heart was aching so badly, both emotions of love and sadness radiating from it.

My lips trailed to her ear and I whispered with all my heart, "I love you, Bella."

"I love you more than anything else in this world combined. I have loved you ever since we were kids and I have never stopped. Every single day my feelings for you have grown stronger and it still is. You are and have always been My Life, my rock, my reason for living, my… my everything." My voice cracked. "If… if you'll have me I'll be the luckiest and happiest man alive and I promise you… I'll make you the luckiest and happiest woman alive!"

Taking her hand in mine, I brought it up to my lips. "I can't even imagine life without you. I've been dying these past few months… I've been too long without you."

"I need you, Bella. Please don't leave. Come back to me… to your family. Please, I can't live without you. There's still so much you have to do, so much life has in store for you. You just can't leave yet. Please. The thought just kills me. Please come back."

My body was shaking and crying in desperation of the moment.

I finally said it… but she wouldn't know… she couldn't hear… she's not awake.

I hugged her form once again close to me. Here is my love. My life

Please, God… I'd give anything for her to come back… even if it was just for one moment. "I'll never give up on you, Bella! I promise, I'll never give up."

I cried myself to sleep that night, holding her close to me. Questions circling my head of what might have been. My dreams occupied of her smile, her eyes, her laughter… but I couldn't hold out and reach her. Her face just danced around in my head, looking at me and smiling.

"_I'm okay, Edward… I'm not gone." _That's what she said, her voice being carried with the wind. I wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, but I couldn't even find my body. It was like I was only meant to watch her. It was painful… but if it meant seeing her eyes open and happy, then it's worth it.

**…….......................…………………………..………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..**

……

My body woke up to the consciousness of floating. It's been a long time since I've slept this well, even though I cried myself to sleep. My body was so warm, I tried leaning in to the unknown source.

…

It was, how can I explain? Smooth and soft; like being on a cloud. It was sending shivers down my spine. It was… moving.

Whatever it is, I liked it. The sensation was addictive. But… there was a constant nagging feeling telling me that something is different. I wanted to ignore it and just fall into the bliss but it made my heart beat faster in nervousness. I was waking up slowly, realizing that the sensation was on my cheek, constantly moving up and down. I could even hear the wind blowing outside the window.

Why is it so familiar?

When it disappeared, I almost whimpered at the loss. But then it came back, at the top of my head… on my hair.

A soft ruffling sensation. My body was overcome with Goosebumps, and it tickled me awake.

The way my hair moved… it was like…the way… _she_… always used to. I almost cried. If this is a dream then it's cruel!

I let out a staggering breath as the source once again moved down to my cheek. _Oh my God._

My eyes opened.

……

……

……

……

Meeting the soft brown pools of…

Bella.

My heart stopped beating.

Her lips moved. "Hey…"

One simple word.

I was alive.

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**Author's Note:**

**Say it with me!!! "YAY!!! SHE'S AWAKE!!! SHE'S AWAKE!!! SHE'S AWAKE!!!" :D hahahahaha!!! I couldn't make you guys wait any longer! It's just how much I LOVE you. Believe me, she was supposed to wake up in about two more chapters but I decided that this is just the Perfect timing for her. **

**Sorry but I didn't have time to edit this chapter that much... i just wanted to update asap :)**

**Forgive me for the late update… I know I said that I was most likely going to update on Tuesday but a lot of things just came up. To ALL of you… thanks for sticking with me until she woke up :D**

**Oh Come on!!! You are all CRAZY if you thought that I could really let her die! I would never break Edward's heart like that! He's gone through so much already in this story! **

**Oh hey! Listen to the song "When You Know" … to me, it's the perfect song for this chapter and it inspired me to write faster :D And if ever I was watching this story on TV, this song would be the background music :D hiihii!**

**And Stay TUNED people!! This story is not finished yet! There is a reason why it is Rated M *hint* … hardyharhar! There! I've given you a little spoiler. **

**Love you all!**

**You know the Drill!**

**REVIEW if you want a SNEAK PEAK :) now… I am off to eat at McDonald's! :D **


	11. Heart's Awake

**Hello my fellow readers :) Awesome, reviews last chapter! Haha! But please… keep the flames on a lower level… hehe, you people are creeping me you get mad at me for leaving with a cliffy… :D please and thank you :D **

**Oh! Who told me about this song called "Awake" by Secondhand Serenade ?? :D I LOVED the song! Please tell me who you are so I can thank you properly! **

**Forgive me for the Sucky sneak peak I left you reviewers! I just couldn't think of anything else and I only had a little bit written back then.**

**To: ??????????? – (crying) I'm so sorry! :((**

**(clears throught)**

**Now, where were we? … Oh yeah! Bella's Awake! :D **

**Hope you enjoy 'meeting' her for the first time :) Love ya'll!!!**

**Here goes…**

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**Chapter 11: Heart's Awake**

**Date: December 19, 2007 (Wednesday)**

**Edward's POV**

_My heart stopped beating. _

_Her lips moved. "Hey…"_

_One simple word. _

_I was alive._

…

…

My whole body had gone frozen.

Her head was facing me, eyes open. I was staring into her beautiful brown orbs, and they were looking back as well, and she was blinking. Her hand was on my cheek. I could feel her fingers moving in a manner that made my insides melt. She even spoke! She opened her mouth and said 'hey'! It was only one word but… one word could mean everything. Her voice! Dear Lord, I haven't heard her voice in a long time. A low alto voice that always calmed me but now it seemed to make me explode! Her eyes stared at me in confusion. But I still haven't spoken a word. Only air seemed to come out.

But I was still in shock.

I opened my mouth to say something… anything! But I couldn't find my voice. Have I forgotten how to speak? All that came out was a shuddering breath, and it stood there agape.

The eyes I was staring at blinked again. Several times in fact. Then I heard it again… "Are you okay?" SHE is asking ME if I'm okay? She just came out of a bloody coma for Christ's sake!

She came out of a bloody coma. She… she… she's awake…

This could so easily be a dream. Could it be? But I could feel everything. Her fingers stroking my cheek to the fast heartbeat in my chest. Please don't let this be a dream! Please let this angel in front of me be real! If… if I'm in a dream, that means I can't feel pain.

Pain… I have to feel pain.

Without my knowing, my whole body suddenly rolled over. Isn't this a tiny bed? Next thing I knew, I went flying down to the ground with a dull CRASH, my side hitting the hospital monitoring equipment. "OW!!!" I grunted irately on the ground. A shriek followed my whimper. "What are you doing? Are you all right?" I looked up to the bed to find Bella staring down at me in bewilderment, her hair forming a curtain around her face.

I felt pain on my side. You can't feel pain in dreams. That proves it. I was awake! And 'she' is real.

'This is real'.

"Oh God!" I found my voice. My heart started beating profusely and a stream of pure energy suddenly invaded my senses. I scrambled on the ground trying to get up only to trip on the blankets that I dragged down with me on the fall. I stared at Bella with wide eyes.

She was awake! Conscious! Talking! "Oh my God!" it was all I could say. Scrambling away from the bed, I went over to the side of the room, my eyes still not leaving hers, as I switched on the lights of the room. Brightness floored the room and I watched her wide eyes suddenly squint at the sudden light. "Aahh… turn it off!" Oh damn! I switched it off quickly and stood on my post staring in incredulity. The blankets fell down on the floor so I could see her entire body. She was still lying down, propped up by her pillows but her legs were moving, her arms… everything! She wasn't paralyzed or anything.

In a coma for five months, this is almost unbelievable! I was almost afraid to go near, in fear that she might disappear as soon as I touch her.

She stared at me again in confusion and my heart skipped a beat. It's been so long.

Then, like a bucket of cold water washed over her face, she looked around her surroundings with a face of uncertainty. I held my breath, standing ground.

Does she remember?

"I'm… I'm in a hospital." She whispered. I couldn't understand if the tone of her voice was a question or a statement. Finding my voice once again, I uttered softly, "The accident."

The word made her look up as if she were contemplating something. Within a matter of seconds, her eyes closed and she let out a whimper. Her hands rose in front of her eyes as she stared at them as if almost in pain. "Oh my God…I, I remember." She spoke so softly, I barely heard it.

Is she reliving it? It must be causing her pain to remember. She must be so confused right now. I didn't want her to be in pain! However, one question was still vexing me; and it was drilling holes at the back of my skull, I just had to say it.

"Bella…" my breathing was ragged and my whole body was shaking. Her beautiful face turned toward me. "Bella do you… do you remember me?" my voice scared and hopeful. My legs started moving closer toward her as she stared at me with wide eyes. That look… it seemed like shock or, disbelief? My heart was constricting with so many emotions. Did she remember me?

When her face turned sad and confused, my heart almost broke at the moment.

Oh God, please no…

"Of course…" she breathed out. "Edward. Why would I---," I couldn't let her finish her sentence.

Letting out a breath I didn't even know I was holding, I ran towards the bed and threw my arms around her form as she gasped in surprise, afraid that she would disappear from me all too soon. "Bella!" All that came out of my mouth was her name and words of thanks and relief. A burst of happiness suddenly flowed through me as I held her in my arms. I couldn't believe that I was actually hugging her right now and… she was hugging me. I didn't want to let go! I was probably hugging her to hard but I didn't want to care!

I had her back! My Bella was back!

"Oh God, Bella! You're back, Bella..."

An unfamiliar sound came out of my mouth, and I realized that I was laughing! Laughing and crying at the same time!

Shivers ran down my spine as Bella ran her hand through my hair just as she has done so many times before. I didn't even realize how much I actually missed that small gesture. "Edward…" Bella spoke. "Edward, you're shaking." She hugged me tighter then her arms went to my shoulders, asking me to pull away for a bit no matter how much I didn't want to. I leaned my upper torso back so we could look at each other face to face, but my arms still didn't leave her waist. The Bella from my dream last night is actually here right now. I still couldn't believe it! This was like the happiest day of my life.

Bella's eyes widened as she looked at me. "You're crying…" she said sadly as her hands moved to the sides of my face, wiping my tears away. I didn't even realize I was crying. "Why are you crying? Edward…" her voice dejected as she kissed me on the cheek before enveloping me once again in a hug. I couldn't even express how happy I was right now. She was wiping my tears and kissing me on the cheek. They were big little gestures that healed the broken patches of my heart. "Nothing… nothing" I shook my head. "I'm just so happy you're all right, that's all!" I said softly, not wanting to let her go.

Her chuckles resounded and I've never felt more alive. "Well, I'm okay now… I'm here."

I chuckled in return. Yes you are!

It felt so good to have her arms wrapped around me again. Irony is a fickle thing. She just came out of a coma and she's the one comforting me…

But then a heavy rock suddenly fell on the bottom of my stomach and my eyes widened. Oh my God. She just woke up after five months. Something could still be wrong with her… and… she doesn't know how long…

My grip on her loosened. Oh God, she doesn't know what's going on!! She doesn't know how long she's been gone! I mentally hit my head with a hammer.

Letting go of her immediately, I cupped her face in my hands. "Bella… are you feeling ill in any way?" I spoke it slowly, making her see that I was serious about this.

"Well…" she started, looking down at her body. "Coming from a car accident, I expected worse damage but aside from the slight lightheadedness…" I started feeling really nervous about this. I never thought of how I could be explaining this to her. Five months of waiting and I never thought of what to say when she wakes up! Stupid! Stupid!

"I think my body is just really sore, like I haven't moved it in days." It's 'months' my dear, I gulped. "and…my left arm and leg feel really stiff but I can move them." She wiggled them. It must have come from the broken arm and the bruised leg. It's the first time she's moved them since they healed. "Okay," I breathed, relieved for a moment because she's not in any pain. But I noticed that her voice was still coarse from not being able to talk for five months and her body still looked incredibly weak. "Hold on, I have to call Dad." I left the bed for a slight moment but I held her hand in mine, not wanting to lose physical contact from her. I went over to the wall at the head of the bed and pressed the red button of the intercom.

"Nurse, room 303! Page Doctor Cullen Now! It's urgent!"

A second later, it buzzed back. _"Yes, sir."_

"Edward?" Bella suddenly called to me. I looked back to catch her staring outside the window. It was snowing. I gasped.

The blizzard. Oh no.

"Is that…snow?!"

She looked back at me with a perplexed expression. "Why is it snowing in the summer? That's pretty odd isn't it?"

I became troubled. Oh damn… how am I going to say this? I ran my hand through my hair, thinking of what to say. She still thinks it's August… how can I tell her that it has been five months since then?

I held her hands firmly in mine, staring her in the eyes. "Bella, I need you to listen to me…" my voice firm. But I couldn't go through on what I was going to say when her eyes abruptly turned fearful. I couldn't even begin think of how this would affect her. I opened my mouth to explain but couldn't seem to get the words out. Sighing in exasperation, I resorted to say something else instead. Now is not the time for her to hear it yet. I put up a face of determination. "Bells, you need to relax right now. You just came out… you just woke up." I gathered the spare blanket at the foot of the bed and draped it around her. I held her hand firmly once again. It seemed like she didn't want to let go of physical contact as well. It made me smile a bit. "When Dad comes, we'll explain everything but now I need you to relax." My voice calm and reassuring so she would calm down. I expected her to retort back but to my surprise she just nodded. Nevertheless, I could still see the anxiety and fear in her eyes.

"Don't leave me, okay?" she whispered, squeezing my hand even further. My chest ached as I kissed the back of her hand. She looked so vulnerable I felt her hand could break like a piece of glass. "I won't leave you, don't worry." _I will never leave you, I promise!_

Judging by the look on her face, she was already coming up with an answer to certain questions. Bella's a smart girl. I was afraid she could figure this all out before we even got a chance to tell her. Breathing in, I leaned toward her face, asking her to look me in the eye. "Bella, the car accident is done. All that matters now is that you are alright. Okay?" I reassured her. All she did was nod and give me a small smile. I smiled widely in return, expressing my true happiness and I was glad to see her features relaxing from it.

But then her eyebrows furrowed once again as she stared at me. "You look different…"

As if right on cue, the door flew open and I spun my head to find my father standing at the door with an expression of shock and disbelief. I couldn't help but give him a smile, silently thankful for him interrupting our conversation. "Dad! Bella's awake!" my voice came out as half a chuckle and a sob. "Hi Carlisle." Bella smiled.

"Oh my God…" he uttered, eyes still wide staring at Bella.

Her face turned confused. "What is it? Is something wrong?"

My breath hitched in silent alarm as I looked at my father. One look of alarm in my face and my father completely understood the situation. He then released a deep breath and gave Bella one of the biggest smiles I've ever seen. "No, Bella. Everything's fine! I'm just so… SO glad you're alright!" He rushed closer, bringing out his stethoscope. As my father examined Bella, he asked me to go page on the nurses. "Nurses in room 303 now." I called on the intercom speaker.

"How are you feeling Bella? Any discomfort at all? Headache?" my father asked, acting with such profession that I admired. Bella opened her mouth to reply but I beat her to it. "She only feels a bit lightheaded. Her body feels sore and her left arm and leg are a bit stiff… as if she hasn't moved it in days." I looked him in the eye, silently telling him with more assurance that I haven't told her yet. He nodded at me and turned back to her. "Is that all, Bella?"

She smirked at me. "Yes, that's pretty much it." I smiled. Did I mention how much I missed her smile??? Oh yeah… about a couple of hundred times… I was just so happy!

As the nurses ran in through the door, they all had matching expressions of shock in their faces. I groaned. I wanted to pound them!

Bella tugged on my shirt. "Why is everyone acting so surprised to see me?" she whispered enough for me and my dad to hear. I pursed my lips. "Uuh…"

My father rolled his eyes in irritation to the nurses. "Don't just stand there! Wheel her to the ICU (Intensive Care Unit) now!" The three nurses, two male and one female, snapped out of their reverie and began taking care of business, strapping the monitor devices, the IV and the bed. I was taken aback. Wow. My Dad just scolded some nurses. That's something new.

"ICU? What? Why? Carlisle… I feel fine." She tried to convince him.

My Dad and I had matching smirks. Same old Bella. God, I missed her! "Bella, dear, we can never be too sure about everything. I want to make sure that you get the best possible treatment." He replied, giving her hand a light squeeze. "Treatment for what?" The nurses started wheeling her out of the room. I never let go of her hand as we went outside to the hallway. Her eyes squinted as she adjusted to the bright light.

In a firm voice, my father said, "We'll explain everything when we get you settled in the ICU."

Bella just nodded. However I had a feeling that she just didn't have the strength to argue. She looked so tired. Even her eyelids started to droop. It worried me.

"Oh wait." she said suddenly. "The… the people in the other car, the one I crashed with… are they alright?"

Tyler Crowley. My blood would boil every time I heard his name. The last time I ever saw him was when I tried punching the hell out of him on the day of the crash. "There was only one person, Bella. And yes, he's alright." She sighed, relieved.

"It was a boy? You've seen him, Edward?"

"Yes, we've seen him. He sends his apologies." I said firmly, not wanting to talk about him.

"Are they here?"

"No, Bella..."

As we passed through the Lobby of the Hospital, my father called out to Mrs. Johnson. "Mrs. Johnson, call Bella's family. Tell them the news!"

"My Dad…" Bella whispered. "How's Charlie?"

I said reassuringly, "He's fine, Bells. Everyone's fine, don't worry about it. Just relax." Bella seemed to take this fine because in the rest of our journey to the ICU, she kept silent the whole time.

I held her hand all the way. I just got her back. I didn't want to be separated from her for one second and I still couldn't keep the smile off my face. My whole body was just bursting with relief and happiness.

Once we've come completely settled in the Unit, my father came in from the door. "I just got off the phone with Charlie a few minutes ago, Bella. He's on his way." He said, coming up next to me.

Bella nodded. "Okay." She said softly. "Now… can you, tell me… what happened?"

My heart constricted and I sighed heavily. Here goes…

"Hold that thought Bella." My father suddenly said. I looked at him, confused, and then he put his hand on my shoulder. "Edward, can I talk to you outside for a minute."

My mind had a little battle. I didn't want to leave her even for just a second and my grip on her hand proves it. I looked down on our clasped hands and stared at her face. She looked me in the eye and gave me a tiny nod. I gave her hand one more squeeze before leaving the room to talk to my father. Once our skins were no longer touching, I automatically felt the emptiness in my heart coming back. Before my Dad turned to the door, however, he came towards Bella and kissed her on the head. A sweet smile appeared on Bella's face. "I'm so glad you're alright, little girl." He smiled.

My dad closed the door behind us and I turned to face him. What's weird is that we had matching smiles on our faces and we both just laughed it out.

Bella's back! Why wouldn't we be smiling like idiots?

"What is it Dad?"

"Edward…" he started. "I think it would be best if only 'you' explained everything to Bella."

I blinked. "What? Me? Just me?"

"Yes" my father nodded. "I think it would be easier for her to take it in. You're her best friend and you know each other more than anybody."

"Why can't you be there too?" Part of me wanted to tell her everything myself, but I was scared. At least with my father there, I would have someone to lean on. He's done this so many times and I have never done something like this.

"I can be in there too, but I'm thinking of what's best for Bella. And in my experience, it's best if only one person, that person being the closest relative or friend, would explain what had happened." He replied.

I looked down for a second, contemplating it as my heart started to beat out of my chest in nervousness. "But, Dad… I don't know what to say. I haven't even thought of what I was going to say!"

My father just smiled and patted his hand on my shoulder. "You'll know once you get in there, Edward." Blinking once again at my father, I thought about it.

Mentally, once again, I was banging my head against the wall for not thinking this through. I was afraid I might blurt out some crack up joke that would only make her depressed all the more. But as I took in what my father has said, I hoped he would be right. If this is what's best for Bella, then I would do it.

Sighing, I just slowly nodded my head.

"I'll be here outside. Just call me when you need me."

"Alright." Realizing what I was about to do, I took a deep breath and walked to the door. Part of me was uneasy as I gripped the knob, but even a bigger part of me wanted to be close to Bella as much as possible.

Opening it slowly, I stopped half-way to find Bella lying back down in the bed with her eyes closed. I was almost about to panic until my father spoke out of the blue. "It's regular for coma patients to feel tired after they've woken up... especially the ones who haven't moved their bodies in 5 months." I looked at him and he smirked at me. "Just in case you were wondering."

Scoffing, I smiled at him in return and quietly walked in and closed the door behind me. I stood on my spot for a minute just watching her sleep. I still couldn't believe that in five months time, she's finally back! My Bella, my best friend, my love… my life is finally back. I pray nothing like this would ever happen again. I've lived five months of agony just waiting and wondering if she's ever going to be alright. I don't think I could do it twice.

I didn't want to wake her up. She looked so tired and fragile, but I knew I had to do it. Walking slowly to the side of her bed, I took her hand between mine and rubbed it softly. She stirred awake and my heart fluttered so wildly that I couldn't keep the smile off my face. I'd probably be feeling like this every time I see her wake up from now on. She gave a tired sigh before her head turned toward me, her eyelids still blinking. Then she gave me a weak smile, "Hi."

"Hi." I sat down on the chair beside the bed. "I must have dozed off…"

I hand ran through her arm up and down in a constant motion. "How are you feeling?"

She shrugged, "Sore… and tired."

I nodded. "As expected of course." She didn't reply and the room turned silent.

Ever so slightly, she looked to the left side of the room. Following her gaze, I noticed the window curtains open, and the snow pouring down outside the window. Looking back at Bella, I noticed her expression wasn't of confusion anymore. It was… impassive. As if she knew everything and just wanted to hide her grief. It was a very 'Bella' thing to do.

My face dropped in sadness. She didn't have to be strong… not now. I wanted her to let out her feelings.

"Bella," her eyes didn't even turn to me. They were stuck staring at the weather outside. "How long… how long do you think you've been asleep?" Her eyes went downcast and she stared at the blanket.

"It seems just like yesterday I was on my way home from work… to see you." She said softly, still not looking at me.

_Seems just like yesterday…_

Oh God. My heartbeat increased. She knows… she just doesn't know how long. It was like a rock invaded my throat and I couldn't speak. It wasn't because I was afraid. It was because I didn't know what to say. Didn't my father just say that I would know? Then why isn't anything coming out? I should have told her back in the other room!

Softly and slowly, she recalled the day, "I remember the accident. A car rammed through my left side, the impact was so strong I think I lost consciousness right after. Then… just bright lights and voices around me." I didn't want her to relive the pain she went through on that day. At this point I felt so useless.

"It's December isn't it?"

I stared at her, surprised. She's figuring it out all to herself!

"It's snowing outside… I saw Christmas decorations down in the Lobby… Carols were playing through the intercom…" she uttered, but she was avoiding my gaze. "It's strange… one day you see the sun… the next day… you see a blizzard."

I sighed heavily. How could I even miss that?! I was so focused on her down in the Lobby that I didn't even notice the surroundings! I almost groaned at how brainless I had been these past minutes.

Some best friend I had been… I thought sarcastically.

Gently, I scooted closer to the head of the bed, leaving the chair unseated behind me. Squeezing her hand firmly, I started, "Bella, please… look at me." She turned her head but didn't look up; her eyes were still downcast. "Bella…" I pleaded, using my fingers to tenderly tilt her chin up so she could see me. I could see the pain and grief in her eyes and this time, she wasn't trying to hide it.

Taking a deep breath, I told her.

"Bella… the accident happened on… on August third." my eyes closed, feeling her shudder in my hand. Our foreheads touched, seeking more comfort, just as we had done so many times before. "Today." I breathed. "Today is December. December 19-…"

Bella breathed in a sharp gasp and turned her head away from me, but I didn't let go of her grip. It pained me so bad to see her like this; I almost felt tears spring to my eyes. I was sitting on the bed now, close to her. "Bella…"

Her breath came out in shudders and her body was practically shaking. Her hand went up to her mouth to silence her breathing, but it was just too much. "Oh my God…" she whimpered. Soft tears started falling down her eyes. "Five… five months…" she whispered. When she let out a loud whimper, I couldn't take it anymore. I hugged her body tightly to mine as her body shook in heaving sobs. She wasn't crying out loud, but it was obvious that she was trying to stop herself from doing so. I kept on whispering comforting words to her ear, "Shh…Bella, it's okay. You're alright now, that's all that matters…"

About a minute later, her grip on me loosened and she pulled away lightly, her hands still resting on my shoulders, and my hands resting on her back. Staring at her face, I noticed her tears had dried and her eyes were closed. I knew that look… she was trying to compose herself.

She doesn't have to be strong all the time. I was almost supposed to speak until I saw her breath out half a chuckle. Huh? She shook her head, muttering something that sounded like 'stupid'.

My face scrunched up in confusion. What is she thinking? This was far from how I imagined she would react.

Her hands dropped from my shoulders and rested on her lap. She wiped her eyes and stared up at me, "I guess this means I'm 18 now, huh?" she chuckled.

I was taken slightly aback. What caused her mood to shift so suddenly? Now I was really confused. "Bella…" I questioned. "Why-…"

The door slammed open and I was cut off. We turned our heads to see a dumbfounded Charlie Swan standing at the door. "Bells…"

Bella smiled and chuckled out half a sob. "Dad."

I stood aside as I watched Charlie run to his daughter and envelope her in a big hug. "Oh thank God! You're awake, Bells! You're awake…"

I had to smile at the scene in front of me, of course why wouldn't I? But the nagging uncomfortable feeling was still poking me in the back. This isn't right… she's hiding her emotions.

Bella was smiling as she hugged Charlie. "Hey Dad…" Charlie chuckled as gave Bella a fatherly kiss in the forehead. "And to think I thought you wouldn't remember me…"

My father walked next to me, watching the exchange between father and daughter himself. "How'd she take it?" he whispered.

How did she take it? Even I wasn't sure. So I just answered, "Pretty well, Dad…pretty well."

Her reaction to everything was probably partly my fault. I don't think I told her properly or… something. Is it a side effect to the comatose?

No, I don't think so.

…

**14yearsold14yearsold14yearsold…**

"_Hey Bella! Wait up!" I called out._

_Bella's body stiffened as she looked back at me with an unreadable expression. I skipped playing basketball with the guys today just so I can catch up on her at the end of the day. Needless to say, I was surprised that she had left school so suddenly. She's been acting weird all week. I thought it was just because the exams are coming up but after the last couple of days, I realized then that something really was going on. _

_I jogged up next to her on the sidewalk and let out a breath since I ran around a few places to find her. She gave me a curious expression, hugging her books tighter to her chest and asked in a low voice. "What are you doing?" _

_I blinked up at her. "Uhm… walking with you home." It's the simplest thing. We always walk each other home when we get the chance. She looked down and nodded, walking along the way ahead of me. I followed her and we fell into a silence that made me outlandishly uncomfortable. I watched her curiously, but her eyes were being shielded by her bangs and her mouth formed a straight line. _

_A worried expression crossed my face. What's going on? _

_She's been acting all quiet and distant like this for a few days now. _

"_Uhm, I didn't see you the whole weekend…" I started all of a sudden, breaking the ice between us._

_She kept her head down. "I was busy." She said softly._

"_Doing what?" I asked, more cheerily trying to brighten up the mood, but she only replied lamely. "Just stuff," and we once again drifted off to silence._

_She's been keeping her sentences short as well this past week. It disturbed me greatly. Now that I think of it, I don't think we've had a civil conversation it what seemed like a long time. _

"_Why didn't you come last Friday?" I asked once again breaking the ice. Recalling that Friday, I remembered not being able to stay in one spot in my room cause I kept glancing on the window waiting for her to come through but she never did. I haven't even seen her the whole weekend. No matter how many times I called her phone, she was always busy or I would go straight to her voice mail._

_She just raised her shoulders nonchalantly still not looking at me. "I guess… I just didn't feel like it."_

_Okay… that sort of hurt me, but there was something in the sound of her voice that left me concerned. "But, you always come on Fridays…" I asked in a somber voice._

_She walked silent for a few seconds. "I know but maybe…" she looked down. "I, I think we're getting too old for that now." She said quickly. "Maybe we should stop."_

_My eyes widened in surprise. I wasn't expecting to hear that at all. It was just now that I truly felt scared. "What? No. What are you talking about? We could never be too old for something like that, Bells." Why is she suddenly thinking like this? Weren't we just having fun on our last Friday together almost two weeks ago? We joked about several things, played on my play station; she even spent the night on my bed. Everything seemed fine back then. Why does she want to stop now all of a sudden?_

_She shrugged as if it was nothing. "It's… it's just childish, Edward." _

"_Childish!? Wha-…" She wasn't making any sense. Her head was still looking at the ground as we walked. "Bella… we've been doing this Friday night routine ever since you made the pact with me three years ago. Sure, it may seem childish but… I'd think you'd be looking forward to those days just as much as I do. I don't want to stop." I said morosely. Friday was always the best day of the week for me. It hurt that she didn't want to continue it anymore. _

_Bella sighed and I noticed her lips tremble so slightly, I almost didn't see it. It was then that I stepped in front of her so we could stop walking. "Whoa, whoa, Bella…" I started. "Did I do something wrong? Are… are you mad at me?" I reached out to touch her but she stepped back, gripping her books tighter to her chest._

_She stepped back._

_It was like a gunshot pierced through my heart when she recoiled. I started wracking my brain for anything I did wrong. "Bella, what did I do? Please tell me what I did wrong! I swear whatever it is, I'll fix it!" I almost pleaded. I couldn't stand it whenever we were mad at each other. _

_Like a breath of fresh air, Bella threw her hands up in frustration and hung them limply by her sides. "No, Edward, you didn't do anything wrong…" her voice was shaken. Is she crying? _

_Then I saw a shiny teardrop fall down her cheek. She sobbed then wiped it away and I stared in horror. "Bells…" I moved closer to her. "Why are you crying?" She tried moving back again but this time, I didn't allow her to. I took her left arm as she sobbed and pulled her closer to me. To my relief, she didn't try to pull back that much so I hugged her tightly in my arms, afraid of letting go as she sobbed on my shoulder. "Please don't cry…"_

_I hated seeing her cry! _

_This was the most of emotion I've seen on her all week. Part of me was glad the she was finally opening up but it hurt at the same time. What had caused her to act this way? Only once we pulled away did I ask her. "What's going on? Tell me! Please…" _

_Bella sniffed and finally looked me in the eyes, a myriad of emotions displaying through her brown pools. I could see pure sadness radiating through them but I could also see that she was contemplating on whether she should tell me or not. I looked her hard on the eyes and told her that I really wanted to know. It was uncanny for us to keep things from each other…_

_Despite my true feelings for her of course…_

_Pursing her lips, she squeezed my hand that was holding hers. "Come home with me…" is all she said. We walked briskly for another few minutes, racing against the dark clouds over us that signaled the rain coming down. Unfortunately, the rain beat us by a full minute and we were slightly soaked as we entered Bella's house. Still without uttering a word, I followed her up the stairs and into her room. I tossed my bag to the side as she handed me a small towel. _

_Bella sat on the bed for a bit and I just stood there, wondering what she would do next. The rain was falling outside and the grayness of the clouds filled Bella's room with and ominous atmosphere._

_As Bella reached for her nightstand, I watched her most evidently. She opened the drawer and pulled out a folded piece of paper which looked like a torn out page from a notebook. I walked closer in curiosity. She held it between her hands for a few seconds before speaking up. "I found this lying around the floor last week in English Class." She sniffed a bit. "I'm not sure who wrote it but… it wouldn't matter to me anyway." She outstretched her arm to hand it to me but once again, she avoided my gaze. _

_My eyebrows furrowed. What the heck is this? I snatched it in my hands and headed over to the window to read it with better light. I unfolded and straightened out the crumpled piece of paper and saw what seemed to be like a note passing scheme. There were two different kinds of writing. Obviously girls, considering all the strokes and curves. _

_Just about half-way through reading… my blood boiled with so much fury. _

_I was seething. _

**Eddie looked so hott yesterday in the field!!! :D**

I know right! Did you call him last night?

**Yes I did! He has the most amazing voice! Doesn't it want to make you melt?**

It SO does! OMG! So what did you guys talk about? 

***groans* It didn't last long. Sucks you know! I asked him about homework. You know, the usual stuff to start a talk, but then he said that he had to go out and visit Swan *gags* **

*gags* indeed! Can you believe the nerve of that girl! She's always hanging around Edward like a puppy or something. It's DISGUSTING! 

**Lol!! So true! Anyway, because of that SKANK, I barely get time to spend with my Eddie. She keeps on hogging him! **

I bet he just pities her. I mean come on! A girl like her with a guy like him? It SO does not match! She is like SO not pretty!

**Tell me about it! I don't understand how people can even be around her. She just clings around Edward so she can be popular too!**

Hahaha! Yeah! Well, she got what she wanted! Now she's known as the Clingy Dork who keeps hanging on to Edward Cullen! :))

**Clingy Dork? :)) More like the Skanky Bitch! She doesn't even have a sense of fashion! I mean look at those clothes she's wearing! That's like SO five years ago!**

I know right! I mean, girl! Have you ever heard of a push up bra? 

**Or make-up?! **

Or a mirror!!! Haha!!!

**Lol!!! I pity my Eddie. He has to hang around her nose all day. Urgh! You know what's so frustrating?! The entire sports club likes her just because she baked them cookies last year! I mean come on! Like, anyone can do that!**

Sucks! I bet she flashed them just to get their attention! :)) hahaha!

**Yeah! Like she has anything to show off! LoL!!! :D **

Hahaha! You are so right! But let's talk more at Lunch. Mr. Gibbs is giving us the glare…stupid head teacher! 

…

_My knuckles were white from gripping the blasted piece of paper so hard. My whole body was stiff and I felt like I wanted to punch something. _

_Disgusting. Skank. Not Pretty. Clingy Dork. Skanky Bitch. Freak… _

_The words kept on running around my head like a plague. My jaw was locked so tight, it almost hurt my teeth. Growling in utter rage, I ripped the piece of paper into shreds, taking my time to make sure that the words would be unreadable. This thing deserves to be burned! _

_It hurt my Bella. _

_I raised the ledge of the window and tossed the pieces into the pouring rain with a frustrated grunt._

_I knew my face was red without even having to look at the mirror. It takes a step out of line to make me angry, but 'this' was way out of line! I knew 'exactly' who wrote that note. The first girl, I remember her calling last week, using that flighty voice that made me cringe and the other girl, I recognize the handwriting. _

_How could they say those things?!_

_I looked back at Bella, and my emotions immediately softened for a few seconds. She was just sitting at the edge of the bed, her hair making a curtain around her face. I sprinted towards her quickly and kneeled down in front of her. I pulled her in half a hug and said slowly and firmly, "It. Is. Not. True." I emphasized each word. _

"_It's not true! For the love of God, Bella, don't believe them! Everything they said is all trash!" She didn't look up. I needed to look at her. My hands reached out and brushed her hair out of her face. It broke me to see her eyes all watery. _

"_Please tell me you don't believe them!" I said._

_It was then that she closed her eyes for a second then looked at me. "I don't but… it still hurt." _

"_I can see it in your eyes, Bella… you believed that note, even just a bit." She turned her head away from me again and I sighed. Those girls hit her where she was mostly vulnerable. Her insecurities. I hated them for it._

_Why didn't she tell me about this? _

_I gripped her elbows more firmly. "Bella, you are NOT a skank, you are NOT a bitch. You're one of the most loving and understanding people I know. People go to you for advice, for help… anything, because they know that they can rely on you. Fine… you're not pretty, your Beautiful! If there's anything I can do to make you see it, I'll do it. You are NOT a clingy dork and a skanky bitch!" For what it's worth, I always found myself clinging to Bella. "You're not a freak! You're… you're the bestest friend anyone could have! And I love it that you're 'my' best friend."_

_Bella took in a deep breath, and I saw soft tears rolling down her cheeks. I hugged her tightly around the stomach, almost frustratingly. My chest was aching for her._

_She seemed surprised at first at my action but then her hands descended slowly on my hair and back. "Bella," I started, still hugging her. "Let 'me' tell you the truth. The ones who wrote that note… they look past how wonderful you are and turn their feelings into jealousy. Those girls only said those things so they can feel better about themselves. They're jealous because you're kind, because you're smart, because you're beautiful… and everything else that's you! If they don't see that, then to hell with them! They don't even deserve your kindness." My grip on her waist became gentler. "Please don't even think that the whole school thinks of you like what they said because I can see that everyone else who knows you likes you for who you are… and I'm not lying. If you want proof, I'll show it to you in a heartbeat._

"_If you tried pushing me away this past week, then let me just tell you now that it won't and never will work. Only you and I know how much we mean to each other… and… you mean more to me than you think." I sighed. _

"_You know that we cannot do without each other, Bella. You're my bestest friend. Whatever you do or whatever happens, I won't ever leave you…"_

_I heard Bella sniff above me, and I looked up. Our foreheads touched. "Thank you, Edward." She sobbed. Then she slid down the bed and hugged me squarely on the chest which finally made me smile._

"_Please don't hide things like this from me again." I said as I hugged her in return. I didn't like it whenever she kept things inside her that would most likely eat her spirits away. It's just what she always seemed to do sometimes… but she's just self-less like that. She never wanted people to suffer from her problems. _

_But I just wanted her to realize that I want to carry those problems with her. I'd do anything for her._

"_I won't… I'm sorry." She said softly. _

"_No need to apologize, Bells." I smiled._

_I really did know who those girls were. I told Bella that they would pay for what they did but Bella… ever so kind and gentle… told me to just leave it. Bah! Like I ever listened to that. Let's just say that with a little plotting with Emmet and Jasper, those girls had their heads dumped with blue paint at the start of the school day. And we… ever so clever and sly… got away with it!_

_No one! I repeat! No one, messes with my best friend and gets away with it!_

_And what did Bella do? _

_*shrugs* she just smiled and took away my cream puffs. __**:(**_

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

I watched as my father and a few nurses tended to Bella, searching for any kind of problem in her body that needed to be treated. She was just sitting there, her father sitting next to her answering the questions my father was asking, along with a couple of other doctors who wanted to help. So far everything is stable. My father explained all her previous injuries starting from the Traumatic Brain Injury down to the few broken ribs she had, and explained why her left arm and leg was more soar than the others. You could still see a little discoloration and dryness in those areas but I knew they would totally disappear soon.

I stood in one side of the bed as I watched her.

She's doing it again. Hiding, that is. And part of me understood.

So I decided to play along… for now.

Charlie handed his cell phone to Bella with her mother on the other end of the line. So far… she was just smiling.

"Yes…yes, Mom." Bella chuckled. "I'm doing fine. Kinda tired, but I'm fine." Then she closed her eyes for a moment, listening to Renee. "Mom… no, Mom… it's okay. I'm fine now, don't cry,… I'm alright. That's all that matters now."

I figured Renee must have told her how she almost gave up on her. I just smiled, because I knew as well, that it doesn't matter now.

It was just about time for my cell phone to go off, Alice's name beeping on the screen. I chuckled. "Bella…" I moved to sit at the side of the bed, "Someone wants to hear your voice." I wiggled the phone to her and she just smirked and pressed the send button, putting it on speaker phone. I heard Alice's voice on the other line, "Hello? HELLO! EDWARD CULLEN! You better say something NOW! Or else I am going to drive there despite this Stupid Blizzard that would most likely KILL ME!"

We chuckled. "Calm down there, Alice…" Bella said to the speaker and we were met with a little bit of silence on the other end.

"Bella?" Alice gasped. "BELLA!!! AAAH! OH MY GOD!! Bella! You're awake! You're finally back, oh my God oh my God! Bella!!!" she cried out loud with a few sobs in between. I looked at Bella's face and noticed she had a small smile, but her eyes were downright sad… and I think I knew why.

It turns out that Alice found out about Bella's recovery through Nurse Johnson. The little energizer bunny asked her as well to send her a message whenever something came up on Bella's condition. Rosalie, Emmet, Jasper, their families and my Mom called our phones asking about Bella and let's just say…

They were ecstatic!

Everyone was raving! Asking to put Bella on the line just to hear her voice which she happily complied to do.

Bella was able to talk to almost everyone on the line. A few tears escaped her as she laughed and smiled, but I stood next to her, never leaving her side; her father and mine were in there as well. Unfortunately, due to the Blizzard, no one was able to leave the house no matter how much they wanted to. I really was thankful that I stayed the night. How did Charlie make it here? Well, let's just say that he ignored the weather and drove straight here despite the storm. I knew I would've done the same thing. He was grinning like he'd just won a prize.

One thing happened in noon though. The nurse's handed her a mirror so she could see what she looked like. I swear, she almost broke down right there. Her cuts and scrapes were all healed but she's lost a lot of weight. She just breathed through it and didn't stare at the mirror again.

Poor Bella. After what seemed like the tenth phone call, her eyes started to droop again. I knew she was exhausted and I also knew that word around the neighborhood is spreading and more phone calls would be coming.

"Bells." I turned off my cell and walked beside her. "You need to rest. You look exhausted."

She sighed rubbing her eyes. "Being asleep for five months… I'd think I'd be full of energy right now."

I chuckled. "Yeah, tell me about it." I teased, causing her to laugh. "You look like you need some sleep too, Ed."

"Nah, I'm fine."

She leaned against the bed, her smile fading as she sighed. My eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

She took my hand in hers, staring at it for a second. "Just so you know… you look like crap."

It caused me to laugh. I know I do look like crap right now, but it's a huge improvement from what I looked like yesterday. I decided not to tell her about it at the moment. I just wanted her to rest. "Yeah, well touché, honey." She chuckled.

"Was Medical School really harder than what you thought it would be?" she asked, brushing her finger on the dark circles under my eyes.

I looked at her sadly and sat down at the chair beside the bed. "It wasn't… easy… when you were away." Her smile faded and she looked down at our clasped hands. "Oh, Edward…" she whispered.

I sighed and brushed the bangs away from her forehead. "Sleep, Bella."

"Will you be here when I wake up?" She moved to lay on her side, placing her hands underneath her head to use as a pillow.

My stomach fluttered. "Of course." I smiled. And with that, she closed her eyes and fell asleep within seconds. "I'm so glad your back…" I whispered.

I just sat and stared for a few minutes, adoring her face as she breathed in and out. In a quick pace, pieces of me were coming back as good as new. I could breath again. My love and life is back.

…………

I still couldn't believe it.

Five months… five damn months is what it took. Now she's finally back. I was still sort of hitting myself at the head at how I acted when I saw her eyes open this morning.

Falling of the bed… I sniggered. What a show. But on the inside, I was practically glowing right now. After months of dwelling on the idea of her never coming back, it broke me every single day but now I was finally alive! Then I thought… was it coincidence that she woke up the morning after I told her my true feelings? Half of me was hoping that she'd heard everything, but the other half was still scared to death.

I'd imagined on some days that I'd be telling her I love her at the moment she wakes up, but now I knew that it wouldn't be the case. I can't tell her now… not until everything would be back to normal. She needs this time to heal, and I as well.

Glancing at the clock, I was surprised to see that it was already 6:30 in the evening. My stomach grumbled. I was so hungry, I could eat a whole pack of deer. No matter how much I wanted to stay, I knew that I had to eat something. I quietly slipped out of the room, careful not to wake her up, asked a nurse to watch over her, and ran straight to the Cafeteria grabbing anything I found delectable.

"Glad to see your appetite is back, Edward." Said Charlie as he came to sit across my table, which was almost entirely covered in food.

I chuckled. "I'm glad too, Chief."

Charlie and I talked through dinner together. It turns out that he was able to get out of work today, but he'd have to go back tomorrow in the morning.

"Wouldn't the blizzard still be there tomorrow?" I asked.

"It wouldn't be as bad as today. So I suspect that your friends and a few other people would be able to drive down here tomorrow."

I nodded. "But I want you to make sure that Bella gets her rest when she needs it. God knows how stubborn that girl is." He chuckled and I as well. "No problem, Chief."

Minutes later, I was heading back to Bella's room with a full happy stomach. "God, I haven't eaten like this in ages."

Coming across the Light Room, I noticed my father looking at a few X-Ray scans with a clipboard on his hand. I knocked before I walked in. "Hey Doc."

"Edward. I was just on my way to see you." He smiled, putting down the clipboard.

"Oh? What is it?" I walked next to him.

"I just wanted you to know about the storm. It'll be pretty fervent tonight before it subsides tomorrow morning, so pretty much everyone is stuck here for the night."

"Wow. The last time I remember this happening was five years ago."

"Yes well, it's not surprising since we live in the rainiest place on earth." I chuckled.

"So I'll be staying in my office and I expect you'll be staying in Bella's room?"

I nodded. "Of course…" but then I thought… "Uh, what about Charlie, I wouldn't want to impose if he wants to stay with Bella." Even though I really really want to stay with Bella.

"I was able to save Charlie a bed in the Recovery Room, under Bella's request." He chuckled. "She doesn't want Charlie waking up with a bad back if he sleeps on the couch."

I laughed.

"I also want you to know that we'll be performing some psychological and physical therapy tests on Bella tomorrow."

"Will she be uncomfortable? You know how much she hates needles." I said quickly.

My father chuckled. "Not to worry, son. It's only regular procedure and I'm sure you'll be there with her. And I'm pretty sure that we have nothing to worry about. It's fortunate that there are just no signs of damage in any part of Bella. This doesn't happen almost every time."

Somehow, that line made me feel better. You don't know how much relief I felt when she woke up with a full memory and move every part of her body. I was so glad.

I sighed with a smile. "Alright, well, I'll be going now. See you later, Dad."

"Edward…" my father called before I walked out the doors.

He sighed. "Bella's under recovery right now and… I'm sure she's still in shock so I believe it'd be more proper if you told her your feelings for another time." He smiled.

My face blushed. "Uuh…I know, Dad. I'll wait."

…………

Bella stirred awake a few hours later. I glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearing 9:00 in the evening.

Her eyelids fluttered open drowsily as her eyes searched around the room, landing on my grinning face. "Hello sleepyhead."

"Hey," she smiled weakly. "It's dark."

"It's almost nine."

Her eyes opened a bit more widely. "Really? It only seemed like a few minutes…"

"It's a common thing to happen." I replied.

"Mm." She nodded. "How are you? You must be getting bored staying here all day when all I do is fall asleep."

I held her hand tighter. "I want to be here, Bella." If only she knew just how much I didn't want to leave her side.

"I hope you at least ate some dinner." She smiled.

I chuckled. "Well, to make you feel better, then let me just say that I ate like a pig and my stomach is distended."

She laughed. "Don't you always eat like a pig?"

_Not when you weren't around…_ I just smiled and sighed. "I'm so happy you're back. I missed talking to you so much…"

She smiled weakly and ran her thumb across the back of my hand. "It seems like I just saw you yesterday but…I missed you too… I missed quite a lot didn't I?" her eyes turned sad.

I sighed, not really wanting to answer the question. "We'll tell you everything, Bells. At least you wouldn't miss Christmas." I tried to cheer her up. Then I remember the room full of presents back at her home and the Potpourri flowers my mother helped make in bottles. I smiled. That would be something to look forward to.

Maybe now would be a good time to ask her about this morning. I was afraid she was trying to be too brave to keep her sadness inside. I wanted her to let her feelings out. This was unhealthy.

"Bella, I-…"

Just in the nick of time however, the door opened and a nurse came in. I recognized her as Ms. Hope.

"I'm glad you're awake Ms. Swan." She smiled, walking in with a cart and she turned to me. "You must be Dr. Cullen's boy. I've heard quite a lot about you."

We chuckled. "I'm Susan Hope, but you may both call me Susan. Now Ms. Swan-…"

"You can… call me Bella."

Susan smiled. "Oh, alright then, Bella. Since you just came out of a coma, we can't give you any solid foods yet, so we're starting you on the liquid diet. It should only be for a couple of days, just to get your digestive system up and going about properly. We'll have to put more weight in you now, poor dear, you're all skin and bones." She held out what looked like a straw attached to a pack.

I helped Bella sit up, my hand supporting the middle of her back. I've heard of these things. They say that it tastes quiet revolting. I gulped. Oh… poor Bella.

And uh… yeah, I got my proof when Bella almost spit the odd colored liquid out of her mouth. "Urgh… sorry, I guess I shouldn't expect something like apple juice."

We just chuckled and I kissed her comfortingly on the side of her head. I felt better once I felt her lean in to my chest.

"That's alright dear. I should've warned you about that."

A few more gulps later, Bella was making 'this is nasty' voices out of her mouth… and I just had to laugh. "Oh don't you laugh at me, Edward Anthony." That shut me up, but I still couldn't keep the silly grin off my face. I even missed seeing her angry face.

"Alright we're all done dear. Easy now. A glass of water would do you good." She handed Bella a bottle which she so gratefully drank.

She sighed, "So uhm, two days with uh, this thing?"

"What does it taste like?" I asked, curious.

"Kind of like a bad protein shake."

Susan chuckled. "Most likely, yes Bella. It actually depends on how fast your system improves by day. But if I can get the Doctor's approval, maybe I can get you some good soup tomorrow."

Bella smiled at her, grateful. I chuckled. "Thank you, Ms. Hope."

"Uh ah!" she raised a finger. "Susan."

"Okay, thank you, Susan." I replied for the both of us. She must be new here, I thought. I've never met her before even in my high school volunteer days.

"She was nice." We both said at the same time.

We chuckled. "I'd say great minds think alike but whatever…"

"Hey!" I retorted. She laughed.

…………

Charlie came in a few minutes later, looking quite flushed. We asked him if everything was alright but he just brushed it off with a little snigger. Hmm… I know Bella would get it out of him later.

Bella was able to talk to Renee again for a few minutes catching up on what she had been doing. Turns out that Renee would be flying in here in a couple of days. The storm wouldn't allow her to fly in tomorrow. I also turned my cell phone on and wasn't surprised to see 68 messages blinking on the screen, all asking about Bella's condition. I read aloud each one and Bella forced me to reply to each one of them. Not that I minded but my fingers turned soar from all the texting. She laughed at my whining just after the tenth text message I sent. We called my mom, Alice, Rosalie, Emmet and Jasper after that. Bella was happy to be talking to them on the phone. I was glad to see her eyes devoid of sadness even if it was just for a little while.

"Yes, Esme. I'm alright, no need to worry. I'd be happy to help you clean the garden. You know how much I love helping out…" she smiles.

"Alice, I don't need a make-over tomorrow. I think my face better rest for now…" she sighed.

"Rose! If you can't tell me over the phone, then just do it tomorrow when you come over…" She chuckled.

"Yes you big bear, I'll be looking forward to watching the Seahawks game on your new Big Screen soon…" She rolled her eyes with a big smile.

"Jazz you wuss! Oh so I'll be expecting you to be my lawyer in the future then…" she sniggers.

Despite the laughs, despite the smiles and the bright sound of her voice. I knew she was still upset. That much I know.

Knowing Bella very well, I think she blames herself for this.

For the accident… everything.

My heart ached at the pain she must be feeling.

It was nearing eleven when Nurse Johnson came in to announce 'lights out' in Bella's room. She'll need the rest in her condition.

"Aah…" Charlie stood from the seat stretching his back. "I'll be seeing you in the morning before I leave, Bells." He kissed her forehead. "Are you sure it's okay for me to leave tomorrow? Because I can take another day off so I can stay here-…"

"Dad." Bella smiled. "It's alright. You're the Chief of the Town. The team could be lost without your proper guidance. Forks needs you."

"Yes and well, my daughter needs me too." He smiled.

"And your daughter will be fine, Dad. I've got the best doctor in town…" she chuckled then looked at me, "And I've got Edward too."

_Yes you do._

I smiled.

Charlie chuckled. "I guess you do. Well, goodnight, Bells… Edward."

"Goodnight, Dad."

"Goodnight, Chief."

Well, now that Bella was awake, I didn't think she'd want me to sleep by her side in the bed, sadly. I went to the bathroom to change in my sleeping clothes. When I came back out, Bella had her eyes shut and her breathing even.

I sighed contently as I flipped off the switch.

December 19, 2007. I'll remember this day forever. The day she came back to me.

I started fixing the couch on the side of the room where I'd be sleeping when Bella's voice came out of the blue. "What are you doing?"

I looked back and smiled. "Uh, fixing my bed." Part of me was really wishing that she'd ask me to sleep beside her.

She raised a brow. "I don't think you'll be able to fit there, Ed." I jumped inside when she scooted over her bed and patted the space for me. I got my wish!

I jogged to the bed and climbed in under the covers as we chuckled. We laid on our sides facing each other.

"Dad said you'll be having psychological and physical therapy tests tomorrow."

She nodded. "There won't be any needles would there?"

"Uuh, I don't know. Hopefully not." I chuckled.

She smiled. "Do you think I would be able to go back with you to Seattle when the vacation is over? For College, that is?"

I thought for a minute. The break would be about three weeks. "Yes I think you would be able to. But I don't want you to push yourself."

"I won't, Edward." She smiled. Her hand reached up and stroked a few strands of my hair down to its tips. "I guess I should've noticed your hair being longer than usual…"

I did the same and stroked strands of her hair. "Your hair is a lot longer now too you know." At least three inches has grown from it.

"Yeah," she looked down. "I guess it is. Well, you've lost a hunk of weight."

I chuckled. "You've lost a hunk of weight too, Bella."

She sighed and placed her hand over mine. "What happened to you, Edward?"

My face turned sad. "I told you. It wasn't easy when you were away." She waited for me to continue. "I was worried every single day. I don't think you can imagine the shock I felt when I found out through a phone call that you were in a car crash." I squeezed her hand in mine. "I thought you were going to die." My heart clenched. "When Dad came out and told us the news, I remember blacking out." Bella hugged my hand to her chest. "I couldn't see you. I was too afraid. For two weeks, I didn't visit you in the hospital because the next time I saw you, I wanted it to be the time when you were awake and smiling at me. But that wasn't the case. I broke down and I finally came to see you. Your injuries were still evident during that time. I slept here all the time, because I wanted to be here when you wake up. We were all worried because of your brain injury, you might suffer some memory loss. I was afraid you might forget about me or anybody. A month had passed since then and College had to start. I wasn't supposed to go. I wanted to wait for you…"

"If you did that, then I'd have hit you in the head." Her voice came out softly, a chuckle and a sob.

I smiled. "That's what I thought. But then Rosalie said something that convinced me to go and I did. I started the term, but it wasn't the same. I came back three days later to see you on your eighteenth birthday, and when I walked through the room, everyone was there! Your Parents, mine, our friends, Billy Black, Jake…and they said that you've had tons of visitors that day. But then, I had to go back to Seattle. It was very different not having you there. I barely slept or ate. I kept my nose in my books just to distract myself from scared thoughts of you. On some nights, I'd even take a drive out to the City. I wanted to come back every weekend to see you, but Medical School just doesn't make it that easy. My grades were practically sinking then. It would always be between three weeks or a month before I saw you again. And every single time, you'd have no progress except for that one time my Dad said that you moved a bit."

"I moved?" she sniffed.

I moved closer to her, hugging her softly. "Bella please don't cry… please."

She sniffed and wiped the tears away. "No… no, I'm okay. Just… keep going, Edward. I want to know where my best friend has been these past five months. We've… we've never been apart this long… and… and I don't even know that it has been five months since I last talked to you."

I wiped her tears away, almost crying myself at her disposition and we kept each other in half a hug.

"It's not your fault Bella." I whispered. When she didn't reply. I continued on, saying anything that wouldn't give away how I truly felt about her. "I was only able to visit you four times from school those past months. I always talked to you in your sleep. I almost lost my scholarship you know…"

"What?" she breathed out.

"Yeah. It was a silly thing. My grades have just been getting worse by then, but everything is alright now."

"I… I never thought it was possible for you to flunk your grades."

I chuckled, "Well, yes, there's a first time for everything."

"But this is Medical School. It's your dream…"

"I know, Bells, and I'm sure I'll do better now. Back then, it just didn't feel right. It felt different without you, you know."

"I'd feel the same without you too…"

I smiled. "And… I haven't told anyone about it yet so… just keep it quiet okay?"

She sniggered and nodded.

"The last time I came to visit, I had caught Charlie and Renee talking about your life-support. Renee seemed to have lost hope and… well, I couldn't let that happen."

"Mom and Dad told me about that…" she sighed. "I don't care about it. I'm awake now… that's all that matters."

I admired her all the more for this. "I better thank your Dad for helping out, Ed."

I smiled. "He sees you as a daughter too you know. He told me this story… well, I'll tell you for another time. But did you know that when we first saw each other when we were babies, you smiled at me and I stopped crying?"

Bella laughed. "Really? Carlisle remembers that?"

"Apparently he does. He said that I had a weird look in my face when you laughed." I chuckled. "Wow… that's really neat to know. Now we know what happened on the day we first met." She smiled.

"I know. Now we'll have something to tell the folks."

"Yeah…"

"That was basically a month and a half ago. I didn't come back 'till this day because… I was imagining what you would say about my situation…"

She looked at me tenderly. "I think I'd have told you to stop visiting me and start working your ass off in Medical School."

I laughed. "Yes, that's sort of what I imagined you would say."

"You know me too well then." Bella started to yawn, and I just smiled softly. "Bells, you need to sleep."

"No no… just, just keep talking. I'll tell you when I really need to sleep."

Still stubborn as ever, I see.

"Okay… well, basically, my grades got back up. It took a lot of work, going back and forth from the dorm to the school and to the library…"

"You went to the Library?" she said drowsily. "That's new…"

"Don't make fun of me because of that." I chuckled.

"I won't…" her words came out slurry and I knew she was drifting off but I kept on going, my voice softer than before.

"But now I'm back… it was hard not being able to see you for a long time. Our friends were here yesterday, but I wanted to stay here all night with you."

Her eyelids were fluttering. "And now you're back… and we couldn't be happier for it."

We stopped talking for about a minute, and then I asked her… "Bella?"

"Mm…"

"How… how did you feel… when I told you it was December?"

I waited for her answer… but it didn't come. I leaned my head and noticed that she was already asleep. I sighed, not being able to keep the drowsy smile off my face. I took the blanket further above her shoulder and rested my hand upon hers.

My Bella's back!

"Goodnight, Bella… sleep well. Don't forget to wake up…" I whispered.

I was a little surprised when her dreaming voice replied, "I'll wake up…"

I almost laughed. Even Bella's sleep talking was back. It's one of the countless things I adore about her.

I lightly leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, whispering ever so softly, "I love you…"

****

…………

I didn't know what time it was, but for some reason I woke up in the middle of the night.

I felt the lightest shaking sensation and a sound I couldn't really make out at the state of my drowsiness. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion as I heard it again. The sound was sad... like... crying?

My eyes opened to see Bella's back facing me, her form seemed to be in a rolled up cat position. Her shoulders were shaking and I couldn't see her face.

Then I heard it again. Sobs and sharp breaths.

She was crying.

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**A/N: **

**Phew! Each Chapter gets longer than the next :) thank you all for inspiring me with your reviews.**

**Now, if you were all weirded out by how Edward reacted when he found Bella awake, then my reason is, he is just in Shock! And people do weird things when they're in shock. Am I right? :D I hope you like Bella so far, by the way.**

**Bear with me with all the Medical stuff I just made up cause I really can't find any references on how you treat a Coma Patient when he/she wakes up. So I'm basing this all in common sense! If you have any idea how they treat coma patients who just woke up in a span of five months then PLEASE, send me a message or a review! I'd be so grateful!**

**This is NOT over yet! I don't know how many more chapters I'd be able to make… but I do have a few more plans for this story.**

**You know the Drill. **

**PLEASE Review if you want a Sneak Peak :)**


	12. Longer Than What I Can Remember

**Thanks for all the reviews, everyone :) **

**I'm so glad I reached 600! :D However… I'm kinda sad at the number of reviews I received at the last chaper… :(… am I loosing you guys? :(**

**Here goes… Chapter 12**

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**Chapter 12: Longer Than What I Can Remember**

**Date: December 20, 2007 (Thursday)**

**Edward's POV:**

…_Sharp breathes and sobs._

_She was crying._

I was wide awake now, looking at Bella's quivering form. I could see she was trying hard to keep quiet.

She's breaking down.

My heart constricted at the painful sounds she was making. I knew she didn't want me to know how she was feeling right now but I couldn't let her go through this alone. It just wasn't right. Instinctively, my body moved closer and my arm wrapped around her form. She made a whimpering sound as she felt me behind her. She stopped for a second before her cries got harder, her arm going over mine that wrapped around her waist.

_Oh God…_

"Bella…" I whispered, my left elbow leaning up on the bed so my face could stand above hers. Hot tears were rolling down her face, her eyes red. How long had she been crying?

I hugged her closer to my chest, trying to rid of the pain I was feeling inside for her. "Bella… sshh, it's okay." I gently rested my cheek against her temple, feeling the warmth of her skin as she trembled.

"I'm so sorry, Edward… for everything." She forced out between sobs.

"Why are you sorry? You have nothing to apologize for…" I whispered to her ear, my forehead creasing at the pain I was feeling for her. I couldn't help it. When she felt pain, I felt it too.

She sniffed, "I… I was just so stupid to run into… that accident. None of this would've happened if it weren't for me…I should've… seen it coming."

My face scrunched up in pain. I was right. She does blame herself for this… for everything. But it's not her fault, none of it is. Didn't I say last night that it wasn't her fault?

Then I thought back… this morning after I'd told her the date, she mumbled something that sounded like 'stupid'. So this is why…

So it starts… she's letting it out now.

"Bella…" I said painfully. "Come here…" I touched her shoulder asking her to turn around so she could face me. Once she turned around, she hunched to my chest, her hands clinging to my shirt. I hated seeing her like this. It was like watching the destruction of my heart up close; but I knew it was a destruction that could be fixed. I wrapped my arms around her small form, almost protectively.

"Don't blame yourself for this. You did nothing wrong." I felt her tears starting to soak my shirt. But I didn't care one bit. She needs this. She needs to let it all out.

Her words were muffled on my chest. "But it's…my fault…"

"Please don't think that, Bella." I said softly, loosening my grip on her. "None of this is your fault. You didn't know any of this would happen and… time and fate is just something you can't control. You can't blame yourself for the accident…"

She shook her head. "But I should've been more careful…"

"You were careful. You're one of the most responsible people I know. I'm sure you were careful. Need I remind you, another car rammed into you… not the other way around. You can't blame yourself for the things you can't control." I ran my hand up and down her back a few times to calm her down.

She mumbled words that sounded like 'No', her hands releasing my shirt and coming up to cover her face. "Bella, sshhh…" I caressed her hair softly, and she buried her face once again on my chest, this time her arms wrapping around my shoulders.

"I caused pain… and problems to the people I love… Charlie and Renee…you… our frie-…" I cut her off there.

"It wasn't something you intended to do. We all love and care for you so much. Everyone kept on saying that it wasn't your time yet so we all had hope that you would come back. Yes, Charlie and Renee had a few problems but it's worth nothing compared to your life. We had to keep you alive, no matter what it took. Yes, it was difficult when you were away but it doesn't matter now because you came back to us. You came back to us, Bella… you made us see that anything is possible. I don't know what we would do if we had lost you.

"I don't know what I would do if I had lost you… you mean so much to us, Bella… you mean _so much_ to me." I almost whispered.

"But-…"

I cut her off, "But nothing, Bella…"

She didn't reply after that. All I heard were here soft sobs and all I felt were her warm tears on my chest through my nightshirt. I pressed my lips against the top of her head.

"It's okay to cry, Bells. You don't have to be strong right now. You can let it out. It's okay…" I whispered comfortingly, holding her close the whole time, not wanting to let go. Her cries were softer now than before but I waited. I waited until she let out all the tears that threatened to consume her. And she let it out, no longer ashamed of it.

Once her cries subsided to soft sobs that came every few seconds, I smiled, glad that she was finally able to let go. That's it. This was exactly what she needed.

I finally breathed deeply with no pain whatsoever hitting my chest.

I kissed her on the top of her head and whispered, "That's my girl…"

Bella let out what sounded like a whimper and a chuckle. "Shut up…"

I chuckled softly. Around a few minutes later Bella took a deep breath, which still came out as in a small shiver, and wrapped her arms more firmly around my torso. It almost caught me off guard, but I equally hugged her back anyway. "Thank you, Edward." She whispered sincerely.

"You don't have to thank me, Bells."

She pulled away and looked up at me. Her eyes were still a little red, but all I could look at was the small smile on her face. Now 'that' was the smile I was looking for! "But I do really have to thank you, Ed. You've helped me through so much already…"

I smiled. "That's what I'm here for and besides, you'd do the same for me…"

She smiled a little more widely then, causing my heart to beat faster in joy. "Yes, I guess I would." She took my hand in hers. "Thanks for sticking with me all this time… thank you for not leaving and for not giving up."

I felt all warm inside when she said those words. "Remember that day I found you in the forest in the storm? We were twelve years old then."

She nodded. "Mhm…"

"I promised to you on that day that no matter what happens… I won't ever leave you." I smirked, reminiscing that night. "I don't break my promises, Bella."

Bella's eyes sparkled as she looked up at me, a look of astonishment on her face. "You remember…"

"Of course I do, Bells."

"I also promised to you on that day that I would always come back whenever I leave…"

My insides jumped for joy at her remembering that one day we made those promises. "You certainly kept that promise too."

We grinned goofily at each other then.

Raising the blanket, I swung my legs out of bed.

"Where are you going?" she asked, sitting up a little more.

I smiled. "Wait here…" I sprinted to the bathroom, grabbed a washcloth and soaked it a bit on the sink. Going back to the room, I reached out the washcloth to Bella who was sitting up with a confused look on her face. I chuckled, climbing back up on the bed on my side. "It's for wiping the dry tears off your face, dear."

She blinked in surprise and giggled, taking the warm towel and doing as I told. I was so glad. Bella wasn't hiding beneath a mask anymore. Now I can see her clearly again… just like old times. Her eyes were brighter even though I know that she still needed time to heal over everything that happened.

"Thanks." She sighed and once again stared outside the window. The snow was falling a little lightly now. The white lamp post outside was what brought more light in this room, even though we were located in the third floor. Looking at the wall at the head of the room, the clock ticked 4:14 in the morning. We've been asleep for about 5 hours.

"Aren't you tired, Bella?" I asked.

"No…" she replied, still looking outside the window.

I leaned against the pillows. "A penny for your thoughts?"

She turned to me the, smiling. "You don't even have a penny, Mister."

"Would you be willing to give it for free then, Madame? Thou art just a penniless musician in dire for inspiration. " I smiled.

She smirked at me then. I missed playing games like this. "Fine, I will tell you my thoughts, sir, but for a price! You would have to play me a composition from which the inspiration is I."

I chuckled brightly. "Sounds fair, Madame, now if you please…"

Bella chuckled, leaning back as well. "I was just thinking about snow."

"You'd have to give me more than that." I teased her. She hit me playfully on the shoulder. "I was getting there, Edward…"

She sighed. "I'm just… still… finding it unbelievable… 'crazy' that… one day you wake up to see all of nature growing at it's peak, but then in the next, you wake up with everything falling back asleep again… uhm…" she played with her hands. I looked at her a little sadly. "It's just… weird to find out that I've lost five months of my life when it all seemed like just one day."

_It seemed like I've lost five months of my life too…_

"Well… let's just be thankful then that you didn't lose your whole life when you've come pretty close to losing it." I replied, looking down at her, meaning wholeheartedly what I said.

She smiled softly. "Yeah… you're right."

"And look at it this way! Maybe… maybe something good would come out of it."

"You think?"

"Yeah! Why not? Isn't that what happens… you know? In a cliché sort of way?"

She chuckled. "Yes… so let cliché lead the way huh?"

"You can't really blame it, it's a pretty strong thing."

"I won't argue with that."

We continued talking like that. Just about random things, people and places that came out of our heads. We had several laughs and well, I told her more of what I had been up to these past five months, leaving out the parts that we would use to surprise Bella in the near future; and I also told her what my Dad had told me almost two months ago. Bella teared up a bit as I retold the story.

"And you never knew?"

I shook my head. "No… Dad said that they didn't want me to be burdened with the thought."

We fell into a little comfortable silence after that before I spoke up again. "You know, there'll be quite a few surprises for you when you get home."

She looked up at me, "surprises? What do you mean?"

"I mean what I mean." I smirked at her.

"Edward…"

I chuckled. "I can't really tell you, Bella. It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you."

"Oh, you know how much I hate surprises."

"Bella." I whined a little bit. "We've lived five months without you. At least let us spoil you even just a little bit! You'll love it, I swear!" then I gave her the puppy face I knew she couldn't resist. I even evened down what I had just said. We'd be spoiling her big time for what seems like a long period, and I was excited for it! I do love spoiling her 'till no end!

"But…"

"No buts!"

She groaned, looking away from me and crossed her arms. I just laughed. She's so cute.

A few more minutes later, Bella sat up on the bed and turned to me with a smile on her face. I could also imagine a light bulb going up on her head.

"What?" I asked.

She moved the blankets away from her. "Can you help me to the window? I want to see the snow outside."

I stared at her, surprised at the sudden request. Come to think of it, I haven't seen her standing or walking yet ever since she woke up. I sat upright. "Are you sure, Bells?"

She turned and carefully dangled her legs off the bed. "Yes, I'm sure, now can you help me? Please?" she pouted.

Chuckling and giving in, I walked to her side of the bed. I recalled a few procedures in my hospital volunteering days. "Okay now place your hands on my shoulders." She did as I told her and I placed my hands on her waist. "Try standing up if you can." I watched her purse her lips. With one gentle push of her legs, her dainty feet touched the ground. She wobbled a bit, but I helped her keep steady.

She breathed. "Whoa… my legs are a lot weaker than I thought they would be."

I chuckled. "How did you go to the bathroom then?"

"The nurses carried me… and that was sort of the time when they asked you to leave the room for a bit." She blushed. "I'm kind of embarrassed."

"Oh so that's why." I sniggered. "No need to be embarrassed, Bells." I smiled. "Are you sure you don't want me to carry you there?" I teased her slightly.

She squeezed my shoulders, her blush deepened. Oh God! I almost groaned. I missed that reddish hue on her face so much as well. "Edward!"

"Only joking…" I chuckled. "Now try stepping forward." I thought she'd be able to do it… but then again, I was wrong.

As Bella stepped forward, she lost her balance completely and shrieked as her legs gave out. "Whoa!" I caught her around the waist and she leaned in to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

My breath hitched… oh God, I could feel her soft breasts through the hospital gown… damn, I think I shivered. Stop thinking about that!!! I shook off the feeling by thinking of Emmet, butt-naked… Yuck! Yuck! Ew…

Bella groaned in my arms and I sniggered at her. "I guess clumsy Bella is back for a while."

She groaned again. "Oh, please God, don't let her be back."

I chuckled lightly and helped her gain balance again. "Try again?" I smiled.

After eight steps and five failed attempts later, Bella was able to stand in front of the window, smiling as she looked at the white grounds of Forks. Her skin looked deathly pale against the bright lamppost outside. Looking at the mixed expressions on her face, I bet she missed the sun. I stood by her side, one hand behind her back and the other holding her palm for support.

She giggled. "Everything's so white."

"Bet you feel the Christmas Spirit now."

"Yeah… I guess I do feel it now." She smiled, and sighed afterwards. "God, I can't believe Christmas is here."

I chuckled, "Yeah, Carols, Christmas trees, Presents, Shiny Decorations, Get Togethers and Delicious Dinners…aah! Delicious Dinners! I am SO looking forward to that!" As much as possible, our friends and their families would get together for the Holidays. The more the merrier right? For this year, I think it's my parent's turn to host the Christmas and New Year's Eve Party.

"Hmm… I guess for me, literally, I can say that Christmas came early this year." She chuckled. "And now that you've mentioned it… yeah, I think I'm looking forward to the Parties too!"

I smiled widely, glad that she was finally happy and excited about something. I better make this the best damn Christmas we could have so far!

After a few minutes, I noticed Bella shiver slightly. "You're getting cold, Bells. Come on! Back to bed."

She sighed, "Yeah, I guess-… Aaah!" I bent down and carried her, one arm behind her back, and the other behind her knees. I chuckled despite her protests and carried her back to the bed.

"I could've walked you know." She crossed her arms, sitting up on the bed.

I draped the blanket over our forms and teased her. "And that would have taken a few minutes to get by…"

**…………**

I groaned internally at the peaceful feeling floating within me. I haven't been able to sleep like this in a long time. It felt good… but for some reason, I knew that I had to wake up soon. Maybe it's because it's late? I don't know… but I didn't want to care.

Bella and I fell asleep again after chatting a bit when I carried her to the bed. I smiled at the scene. It was just too funny. I missed everything about her so much.

I wanted to succumb to more sleep however, I felt some sort of wind blowing in my face. My face scrunched… it was hitting my nose.

Then I heard a soft giggle.

I wanted to laugh out loud! It brought back memories to that day, months ago, when she woke me with a feather.

She blew softly again, and this time, my eyes popped open causing a startled looking Bella to chuckle.

My heart fluttered so much at the sight, it tickled my insides.

For so many mornings, she would always wake me in strangely funny ways. It gave me something to look forward to each day she slept by my side.

I smiled widely and chuckled, "I guess I should've expected that."

BHWAAM!!!

The door slammed open, snapping both of us out of our reverie.

"HANDS OFF HER CULLEN!!!" said a pixie-like voice. At the next second, before I could turn to the side, small hands pushed me away from Bella and I ended up barreling to the floor… again.

"Aah!!! Ow! Alice? What the!" I complained on the floor.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!! BELLA!!! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" I head Alice shriek above me. Apparently I was being ignored. I heard Bella chuckle, "Hello Alice! I missed you too you little pixie! And thanks for the manicure… really appreciate it." Bella chuckled sarcastically.

"Oh! You're very welcome, Bella!"

I humphed down on the ground until I heard fast running footsteps coming through the door.

"DON'T HOG HER ALICE!"

"SQUIRT'S BACK!!! YEAH!"

"BELLA! ALICE! WAIT UP!"

"Guys! Calm Down!" Oh who am I kidding… Rosalie, Emmet and Jasper ran and jumped up towards the bed making all the noises they can. What time is it?... 8:20 in the morning. I groaned.

Bella was overwhelmed by words of happiness and I miss you's before I was able to stand from the ground. "Guys! Give her some air! We just woke up!" I complained to my four crazy friends sitting on top of the bed with happy tears and wrapping Bella in a tight bear hug.

Bella giggled at me, "It's okay, Ed… no harm done."

"Yeah, Edward! It's our turn to hog Bella! Now off you go!" joked Rosalie as she hugged Bella closer. My mouth went agape.

"Oh you know I was just kidding!"

Emmet bellowed. "Haha! I still can't believe you're back! Damn! You should've been there when I found out 'through phone' that you're all… well, fixed and everything!"

Everyone chuckled, "I'd love to hear that story." Said Jasper.

Bella laughed heartily this time making me smile involuntarily. "Well, for one thing, I'd love to know what everyone's been doing for the past five months."

Alice sniffed. "Oh Bella, you don't know how much we've missed you."

Rosalie groaned, "Yes definitely! Every single day we were so freaking worried about you!"

Jasper nodded, "Mhm… it was weird."

"Yeah… and Eddie Boy over here has been a dump." Emmet pointed at me with his thumb.

"Emmet!" I retorted.

"Hey!" Bella said out of the blue. "Uhm…Is that red nail polish or did I just wake up in a world where Jazz and Em are gay?" she said with a confused expression that just made me laugh out loud along with Alice and Rose. Emmet and Jasper blushed and groaned, automatically hiding their hands.

"Well, to make a long story short, Bells." I sat at the edge of the bed. "It was a bet."

Bella let out a breath. "Oh thank God then… cause you two being gay would be definitely wrong!"

We laughed. "OH! We really missed you, Bella!" Rosalie murmured. "We have SO MUCH to tell you! And we've got LOTS of making up for lost time!" said Alice.

I breathed deeply with no pain but happiness inside. Her smiles, her laughs… everything was real. I was so glad for it. Same old Bella. Our circle of friends is complete again.

I turned my head to the door as I heard soft footsteps coming through. I smiled as I saw the person come through.

"Mom." I smiled.

Her hand came up to her chest and she looked like she was about to cry as she stared at Bella. I noticed my friends back away gently from Bella as they smiled at my mother.

"Hi Esme." Bella gave one of the sweetest smiles ever to my Mother.

"Oh Bella…" My mom came forward outstretching her arms as she enveloped Bella in a warm hug. Happy tears fell out of my Mother's eyes. Bella chuckled as she hugged her back. "Bella, dear… I'm so glad your back!" my mom whispered. Bella smiled warmly, "I'm glad too, M… Esme…"

My heart warmed. Other people may have not noticed that slip, but I did. Bella almost called Esme, 'Mom'. I'd told her when we woke up this morning about the story my father told me a month and a half ago.

Bella must be looking at my Mom at a whole new light right now.

I gave a nostalgic sigh. Bella and me… it seemed like we grew up with two mothers by our side. Esme and Renee…

I smiled at the flash of memories that appeared in my head.

**…………**

"Bring her in for a CT scan and if you get the results, bring it to me ASAP, then I'll decide whether she needs an MRI or not. I would also like an EEG scheduled for her, ask Dr. Wilson to perform it. If he complains then tell him that I requested it. Her vitals are stable, but I would like another check up done after her CT. I won't be there by then so ask Dr. Geller to do it. After that, bring her in for Psychology tests and Physical Therapy to be under Dr. Hamilton. Did you get all of that or do I need to repeat?"

I stared at my father in wonder as I helped Bella from the bed to the wheelchair. He was talking to Mrs. Johnson then who happened to be scribbling notes on Bella's schedule for the day. Bella's eyes were wide as she settled herself in the seat. "Does it really have to be that much?" Bella whispered to me. I chuckled. "Apparently. Don't ask me. I'm not yet the Doctor here."

"None of them hurts does it?" she looked back at me worriedly. I squeezed her shoulder in comfort. "No worries, Bells. None of them hurt…" okay, that was partly true. If they check her vitals, they would most likely want to take a blood sample test. And Bella pretty much faints at the sight of needles and blood.

I chuckled at a certain memory that popped up in my head.

Bella looked at me skeptically. "What's so funny?"

I just shook my head. "Nothing… just remembered something that's all."

Bella gave a frown. "Why do I have a feeling that I know what it's about?"

I laughed as I pushed her wheelchair out of the room, following Mrs. Johnson. "Because you know me too well, that's why."

…

**8yearsold8yearsold8yearsold…**

"_Alright, Edward. That should do it. You're done!" smiled Dr. Wilson as he placed bandage on my arm where I just had my shot. I didn't really understand why I needed one, but Dad said that it would be good for our health in the future. I've had 4 shots today… two on each arm. I was quite proud of myself, since the other kids in school said that this was really terrifying. For some reason, however, the needle didn't scare me one bit. _

"_That's it?" I asked touching the spot gently as I sat at the edge of the hospital bed._

_My Mom and Dr. Wilson laughed. "Yes, Edward dear, that's it." My mom smiled in her seat next to me. _

"_Quite a brave boy you have here, Esme." I'm brave? Wow! Score!_

_Mom chuckled, "Honestly, I didn't know he would act like this. On my immunization day when I was a child, I practically scared the nurse away with my screams. He must take after his father in this area." _

_I smiled widely, "I'll be a doctor like Dad one day!" _

_Dr. Wilson chuckled, "I bet you will, Edward. Speaking of Carlisle… isn't he treating the little Swan girl?" _

_The little Swan girl? _

_I humphed and crossed my arms. "Her name is Bella! And she's my best friend!" ._

_Dr. Wilson looked at me with startled eyes as my Mom chuckled. "Oh! Well, my apologies, Edward."_

_I watched as my Mother leaned over and whispered something in Dr. Wilson's ear. All I heard were the words 'protective' and 'best friend'… what does protective mean? I quirked my brow._

_All thoughts rushed out of my head once we heard a scream coming from the next room. _

_I jumped off the bed in alarm and ran to the door. "That's Bella!" _

"_Edward wait…"_

_Sprinting out the door, I went right away at the room next to us and opened it gently to find my Dad sitting on a chair, trying to comfort a whimpering Bella on the hospital bed with Renee. They turned to me._

"_Ed?" Bella looked at me with tear-filled eyes._

"_Edward?! What are you doing here?" asked my Dad, standing up and making his way to me._

"_I heard Bella, Dad." I replied not taking my eyes off her. "Is she okay?"_

"_Carlisle!" My Mom and Dr. Wilson came behind me. "I'm sorry dear, but he just jumped right off the bed and ran to the door."_

_I walked silently to Bella who was clinging to Renee. "Are you alright, Bells?" _

_Bella sniffed in her mothers arms and just let out a moan in reply. _

"_Oh Bella…" Renee hugged her closer. "It's alright sweetie."_

_My Mom came next to me and brushed Bella's hair away from her face. "How is she Renee?" _

_Bella's Mom gave us a worried look. "She's just afraid of the needle. We were only able to give her one shot, still." _

"_It'll be okay, Bells!" I hopped next to her on the bed. "Look!" I showed her my upper arms. "It only hurt for a second then it'll be gone right away. No biggie!"_

_Bella just looked down. I noticed that she only had one bandage on her arm. _

"_I'm still scared…" _

"_It's alright to be scared! Remember Ben from School? He said that getting shots was like his worst nightmare and that he tried running away from the doctor's room right!"_

_She looked at me for a little bit then smiled and nodded. _

"_Well you're not running away! Come on! It'll be fine. I'll stay right here."_

"_You will?" she sniffed. _

"_Uh…" I turned to my Dad. "Is it okay if I stay, Dad?" _

_He smiled along with everyone else in the room. "I don't see why not."_

_I smiled and sat next to Bella. We held each others hand involuntarily. I felt Bella take a deep breath as my Dad sat down on the chair in front. "Just relax, Bella. Keep your head down and just focus on pretty things if you want. Don't look, okay?" My Dad held the injection in his hand and he gave me a nod. _

_I squeezed Bella's hand and cringed as I saw the needle go in and Bella just whimpered silently. "Okay…okay… that's good, sweetie! Just hang on a little there." Said my Dad and he performed the other two shots on the other arm as Bella tried to keep in a brave face. "Alright! We're done! Good job, Bella."_

"_You did it, sweetie! We're done now." Renee hugged her close as Bella let out a huge breath and finally relaxed in her Mom's arms. "I hate needles…" she sniffed. _

_I sniggered. "That's okay, Bells!" _

_I heard my Mom say to Dr. Wilson, "What'd I tell you." She smirked. I just brushed it away, not wanting to get into a grown up conversation. They get really boring sometimes. _

_My Dad helped me off the bed, "Good job, Edward! You'll be a fine Doctor one day." I smiled up at him widely. "Really!?" _

"_Yes. You did a great job taking care of Bella just then." He smiled down at me and I followed him across the room. _

_I shrugged. "Why wouldn't I take care of Bella? I love her…"_

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

I sighed back in my seat inside Bella's room. It's been a long day. I lost count at how many visitors we received today. Several people from our school who are home for the Holidays came over to visit Bella, however they were only able to stay for a little while since Bella was always whisked away by the medical check-ups and such. Mom was still in the hospital. Probably in Dad's office catching up in the sleep she wasn't able to get much last night.

The clock ticked 7:38 in the evening and Bella has just started in her Therapy with Dr. Hamilton. They thought it better if I didn't join them much to my dismay. I never left Bella the whole day. In between her physical tests, she would dose off to sleep for an hour or two which was a pretty common thing according to what I've read about coma patients. So far everything was good. Her test results came back clean leaving everyone relieved and satisfied.

And yeah… she needed a blood test. It took us about ten whole minutes just to get her to settle down after she saw the fat little needle. I chuckled at the thought.

"_That's a pretty fat needle."_

"_It's a regular needle, Bells. Come on, you won't feel a thing."_

"_That's a lie and you know it!"_

"_Just squeeze my hand and close your eyes."_

"_I can still imagine it going into my skin."_

"_Bella!..."_

"_Edward!..."_

"_Stay still, will you!"_

"_I am!"_

"_No you're not. Just relax."_

"_Easy for you to say. A sharp piece of metal wouldn't be getting under your skin… … don't laugh!"_

"_Sorry!"_

Alice, Rose, Emmet and Jasper roamed around with us sometimes whenever they were allowed to. I think they're in the cafeteria right now. Maybe I'll join them in a few minutes.

Just then, a knock came at the door. "Come in."

The door opened and a man in his mid-twenties wearing scrubs came in. "Hello? Are you…" he checked his clipboard, "related to Ms. Swan?"

I shook my head, "No, I'm her friend though. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Yes, actually…" he reached behind him pulling in a cart. "These things were left in room 303." He wheeled in a cart with my boombox, a few flower vases, cards and a couple of picture frames. I stood up in surprise. "Oh, sorry. I guess we forgot about them." I helped him settle the things around the room, placing the vases in the bedside tables along with the pictures and my boombox on the corner. I thanked the man before he left and looked again at the room. Five vases of flowers, about several get well cards, and about three picture frames. It seemed to have brightened the place a bit more.

Smiling, I walked to the Cafeteria and craned my head to search for my friends. They weren't too hard to find…

"Eddie Boy!!!" boomed a voice. I squirmed inwardly at the dreaded nickname and headed over to the booth containing my friends.

"Emmet! Please stop calling me that. Now even the hospital employees could call me 'Eddie'." I whispered, taking a seat.

They laughed.

"So Edward…" Alice leaned forward. "What's Bella doing right now?"

"Yeah, how is she?" Jasper asked next to her.

"She's in Therapy with Dr. Hamilton."

"And you weren't allowed to go with her?" Rosalie smirked next to me.

I rolled my eyes and propped my elbow on the table, my chin resting against my palm. "I'm here aren't I?"

"Anyway!" Alice slipped in and turned to me with bright eyes. "So Edward!"

My eyebrows raised in confusion. "What?"

"Are you planning to tell her anytime soon yet? About your… 'you know'!" she grinned widely… along with everyone else on the table who leaned forward. I leaned back quickly, my heartbeat raising a bit. "Guys! No…No…! I-…No!" I flustered. They leaned back with a sigh.

"Come on! I can't tell her now! Not yet! She just woke up for Christ's sake! She needs time." I sighed. "You should've seen her face yesterday when I told her that it's been five months since the accident."

They nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right." Said Jasper somberly.

My eyebrows furrowed. "What's the rush?"

They all looked elsewhere and replied, "Nothing!" Now that made it more suspicious.

I dropped my hands on the table. "What's going on you guys?"

"Nothing! Nothing really… it's just that, well…" Emmet scratched his head.

Rosalie continued, "Well, you've been waiting for a long time now… and we thought that…"

"You'd want to tell her as soon as possible… I mean…"

"You were going to tell her on the day of the accident right?"

I looked at Rosalie and Emmet with slightly wide eyes. "Since when did you two finish each others sentences?"

They blushed. "Is that why you really want me to tell her right away? I don't want to add more stress to what Bella's going through right now. I mean… she… she may not return my… my, well… you know! It's better to just wait." Oh God… the nervous feeling at the pit of my stomach is coming back rapidly. I looked back at my friends and noticed Alice and Jasper give Rosalie and Emmet a hard look.

I sighed. "It's something else isn't it?"

Rose looked at me, surprised. "No! It's not something else! It's-…"

"ROSE AND EMMET ARE TOGETHER NOW!!!" Alice spat out loud but then covered her mouth afterwards. I looked at them, my eyes wide with surprise!

"What!!?"

"ALICE!" Rosalie and Emmet yelled. "ALICE AND JASPER ARE TOGETHER NOW TOO!!!" Rose pointed at them. Alice and Jasper gasped. "HA!" Emmet pointed cunningly.

I stood up from the table and they turned their attention to me.

"That's Great!!! I mean… FINALLY! Right? How long has this been going on?"

Who'd know!? Finally! Alice and Jasper then Emmet and Rose! They were perfect for each other. I was overwhelmed by the news!

They broke out in nervous chuckles. "Just recently… for uhm, Alice and I." Jasper smiled almost shyly.

"Yeah and about a month for me and Rose."

"That's great! Congratulations! But… why didn't you tell me any sooner?"

Everyone looked at Rose. "Well… you see, Edward…" Rose started. "We didn't want to tell you yet 'cause of… Bella. She was still asleep then and we didn't want you to feel… sad."

"Why would I be…" then I realized…

They didn't want me to feel sad… they didn't want me to feel the longing to be with Bella all the more because of her disposition.

"Oh."

"Yeah…" Alice scratched her head and gave me a soft smile. "That's why…"

"It still doesn't explain why you want me to tell her right away." I said sternly.

"We… well… we all agreed to only tell you and Bella after you uh, tell her about your feelings." Jasper said quietly.

I blinked, looking at all of my friends. I guess at some point I understood… but their secrecy would only be worth it if she returned my feelings. I sighed heavily on the table and looked down. "Thanks for the concern but… who's to know that she'd be feeling the same way…"

Everyone slumped in their seats… and their sympathetic faces weren't helping my mood either.

"I just have to find the right time but… not now."

"We understand, Edward." Alice piped in. "Don't worry, we wont rush you."

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that." Said Emmet.

I smiled at them grateful. "Thanks… and, I'm really glad for the four of you. God knows how long the four of you liked each other."

"How long?!" The four of them questioned loudly at their significant others.

I just laughed.

**…………**

My friends forced me to barge in to Bella's Therapy session just so they could say their goodbyes for the day, much to Dr. Hamilton's amusement. Time went by pretty fast today. Charlie came over around 7 but had to leave again because of some 'trouble'. The visiting hours were almost over so Mom had to go back home as well but I could tell that she obviously didn't want to. She gave Bella a kiss goodnight and I escorted her to the parking lot since Dad was in the OR at that time.

"You know that smile hasn't left your face the whole day." My mother smirked, making me look down and chuckle. "Come on, Mom." I almost blushed.

"Not that I didn't expect it of course." She circled her arm in mine. "Are you planning to tell her anytime soon?"

I shook my head in amusing disbelief. "Why does everyone keep asking that? I knew I should've kept my mouth shut about how I felt…"

My Mother laughed. "Even if you didn't tell us, we would've figured it out anyway, dear." It was my turn to chuckle then I looked at her with a quirked brow. "Really?"

She raised her eyebrows with a smile on her mouth. "At least, I, would be able to figure it out. Call it a Mother's Intuition." I just smiled. I couldn't argue with that. Esme had a pretty strong intuition. It's scary sometimes. "So…? Are you telling her?"

I sighed and shook my head. "No, Mom. Not yet. I don't want to add more stress to what Bella's going through right now. She took it pretty hard yesterday." A small frown appearing on my face as I remembered the pain in her eyes.

Mom nodded in understanding. "Yes, I suppose you're right. I can't even imagine what Bella's going through right now. Loosing five months of your life…" her voice dropping in sadness.

"She'll be okay. She's strong like that and we'll all be there for her. She's already looking forward to the Christmas Eve party!" That brightened my Mother's face. "Then I'm so glad our family will be hosting it this year! Oh! I'll prepare all her favorites!" she giggled.

I sniggered. I could already tell that my Mom was whipping up new ideas for the party.

She smiled. "We have to be extra careful though. I heard that coma patients are prone to pneumonia sometimes… and she woke up in the dead of winter."

Fear gripped me. She's right. I almost forgot about that. I looked up at the snow falling from the sky.

_She'll be all right. I won't let anything happen to her. _

My Mom chuckled. "Of course you wouldn't."

Huh? Was I thinking out loud?

"Mom," I started as we walked to the car. "I know that you see Bella as a daughter to you… so… just with your mother's intuition, do you think she feels the same way about me?" I looked down, suddenly shy or maybe I was just nervous for her answer.

She laughed beside me. "You know this is about the third time you've asked me that question."

I looked up in confusion. "Third? I only remember asking this question once before." It was just a few years ago when I first told my mom that I was in love with Bella. But, she already knew that before I even told her.

"Yes well… the first time you asked me that was when you were only five years old."

…

**Edward5yearsold…Bella4yearsold…**

**Esme's POV**

"_Mom?" _

_I looked back at my son sitting on the counter while continuing cutting up the strawberries for the pie for this afternoon's garden party. "Mmm?" He seemed to have a peculiar look on his face. _

_He looked down and fumbled at his shirt. "Uhm…" I stopped cutting up the fruit and focused all my attention on him. "Nothing… never mind." He looked away. _

_I chuckled slightly in amusement and turned to him. What's this that has got my son all flustered. "What is it, Edward. Is something troubling you?" _

_He shook his head, still looking down. "No."_

"_Then what is it? It's alright, you can tell me."_

_He looked at me then, giving me that crooked smile that he had inherited from his father. "Do you… do you think, Bel-la…" he trailed away. Now he has got my undivided attention. So it's about Bella then. I guess I should've known. I huge grin spread across my face, and I bit my lip, trying to hide my delight. _

_He took a deep breath. "Do you think Bella loves me?" _

_My eyes widened. Inside my head, a chorus of "Aww's" came ravaging in. I smiled. "Of course she loves you. How could she not love you? You're her best friend."_

_He shook his head, "No. I mean…" he looked elsewhere. "Do you think… Bella loves me the way… that you love Dad?" _

_An even bigger round of "Aww's" came! I can't believe how fast my son is growing up. But I guess you can never be too young when it comes to the subject of love. I was taken aback at my little boy's sudden question. Love advice for a five year old boy huh? Love the way I love Carlisle…_

"_Hmm…" I rested my elbows on the counter. "I honestly can't say, Edward. I'm afraid only Bella can answer that question." He sighed heavily then and looked down at his hands. I gave him a soft smile. "Why do you ask?" I didn't want our conversation to end there. _

_He shrugged. " 'Cause I want me and Bella to be like you and Dad when we grow up."_

_Oh dear Lord! My little boy is thinking about marriage! _

"_Well, what brought this up? Was it because Bella wanted to play House with you last week?" _

_He shook his head. "No." I waited for him to continue. "Yesterday in school, Bella started playing with the other kids in class at recess time. She also shared with 'em her lunch box… but she always does stuff like that with me. Yesterday she didn't…"_

_I almost chuckled. Poor Edward… I guess he's just not used to seeing Bella with other kids besides him. He's been having a little separation issue… or maybe a sharing issue?_

"_Bella's just making new friends in school, Edward. I'm sure you've made some friends too right?" I brushed the bangs away from his hair as he nodded. "Just because Bella is making new friends doesn't mean that you're not her best friend anymore. You both know each other more than anybody 'cause you grew up side by side."_

_That made him smile a bit. _

"_Everyone can see that the friendship you have with her is special."_

_His eyes sparkled as he looked up at me. "Really?" _

_I tapped his nose. "Really." He smiled widely. "Tell you what… why don't you make a promise with Bella?"_

"_What kind of promise?" he leaned his head to the side._

"_A promise to be best friends forever!" He chuckled at me then, almost in amusement maybe. "But we already did that, Mom."_

_I blinked. "You did?" _

_His feet dangled off the edge of the counter as he nodded fiercely. "Yup!" A proud expression on his face. "That was after we watched that Winnie the Pooh show a long time ago."_

"_Is that so?" he nodded. "Then I'm glad for the both of you!" Glad? I was practically shining inside! Edward sighed once again. "Do you think we'll be like you and Dad when we grow up, Mom?"_

_I thought for a second. OF COURSE I want them to end up together! I've been fantasizing about it ever since the day they first set eyes on each other. I know it's a typical mother thing but I just can't help it. "You mean you want to Marry Bella when you grow up?"_

"_How do you marry someone anyway, Mom?"_

_Marriage advice to a five year old boy? Really?_

"_Hmm…" I tried to find the right simple words. "You see, Edward, when two grown up people love each other very much and they want to spend the rest of their lives together, they get married."_

"_Like you and Dad, right?"_

_I nodded, smiling. _

_His face lit up like a boy in a candy store. "Then I can marry Bella right? Can we make a promise to get married when we grow up?!" _

_I laughed in utter amusement and kissed the side of his head after wrapping him in a hug. "I think you better save these questions until when you get older."_

… **(A/N: This flashback is partly a true story! It's just one of the sweetest things so I had to include it in this fic!)**

**PresentPresentPresent…**

**Edward's POV**

My face brightened in surprise. "I asked you when I was five?"

Mom nodded amusedly. "Yes you did. Although, you're question back then was slightly different, it still has the same concept. And I will still answer you the same way I did back then… I'm afraid only Bella can answer that question." She smirked.

"I don't remember that at all!" I exclaimed at the new found information told by my mother. "But… I guess I expected you to answer that way." I smiled. "Do you remember exactly what I asked you?"

My Mom pulled out her keys and the car sounded the unlock. "Yes, I remember exactly what you asked me! I kept a journal back on those days." She opened the car door.

"Wait! Can't you tell me?"

She chuckled. "I'll tell you for another time, Edward. Perhaps after you tell Bella how you really feel…"

I groaned. "God, you're all really pushing me aren't you? Is Dad the only one on my side."

She opened the car door and rolled her eyes with a smirk. "Oh! Your father. To whom would you rather get love advice?"

"I'm a guy, Mom. Men usually go for manly advice." I pointed out, partly kidding.

She groaned and kissed me goodbye on the cheek. "You really are your father's son."

I smiled as slipped in the door. "Is that supposed to be bad thing?" I smirked.

Mom chuckled as she rolled down the car window before starting the car. "Oh, it's a wonderful thing! I'll see you tomorrow, dear. Do you want me to bring anything from home?"

I thought for a second and smirked. "Yes actually… but it's not from home." I told her what I needed then bid her goodbye and a safe drive. I sighed happily while walking inside hospital. It didn't seem that busy anymore tonight.

This proves it then. I have loved Bella even longer than what I can remember. Ever since we were kids, I guess that there was just this part of me that knew… that Bella would be the one I'd always be with forever. But I was a kid back then; always free and no worries whatsoever. Growing up made me realize that it's not that simple.

Despite the accident and everything that happened, I knew that I was still scared of telling her. I knew that I was risking our friendship but out of so many reasons and frustrations, I just have to tell her. I'd regret it if I didn't. Bella and I can't live without each other. That much I knew.

I walked inside the elevator and pressed the button the third floor ICU.

We could work this out no matter what happens… I hope.

I groaned. Oh God, what if we didn't? That stupid feeling at the pit of my stomach was back again. Honestly, if I couldn't let go of this nauseous sensation, I'd probably dump all the contents of a good dinner down the toilet…

_Ding!_

The elevator doors opened and as I raised my eyes to the hallway… I swear, I saw a red haze fill my vision.

Standing there, talking to my Bella in a wheelchair was…

Tyler Crowley.

…

_So much for letting go of the nauseous sensation. _

…

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**Author's Note:**

**Okay :) this is a shorter chapter, but I hope you liked it. **

**It's just that I know that I can update faster if I write like this. **

**Okay, now, in the last chapter, you got a glimpse of a Bella that's hiding behind a mask… now in this chapter, she's showing her real self now :) thanks to Edward :)**

**If you have any questions or comments, please feel free to drop a review or a PMessage. Any feedback is much appreciated :D **

**Now… I'm really sleepy… gotta doze off for a little bit. **

**(Yawn) You know the Drill!**

**Review if you want a… (Yawn) Sneak Peak. **


	13. Tension, Hit it and Breath

**Thank you once again for all the reviews :) Greatly appreciated!**

**Hold your breath!**

**Forgive me for the typo's and grammatical errors! I'm pretty sure there are some that I haven't noticed... hehe... my eyesight is making fun of me! **

**Here goes… Chapter 13**

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**Chapter 13: Tension, Hit It and Breath**

**Tyler Crowley's POV**

Shivering, I brushed away all the flakes of snow that draped around my jacket and the small vase of flowers in my hands as I walked across the lobby of Forks hospital.

_Damn, it's freezing._

With one hand, I took off my beanie, brushed my hair with my fingers and made my way to the reception.

I glanced around looking for Nurse Johnson, however, just my luck, she wasn't there. I was thankful for that Nurse. Ever since the day of the accident, she's been updating me of the girl's condition after I begged her. I just needed to know if she was all right.

After I received word yesterday that she came out of it, I didn't hesitate to come see her. The drive from my College was just pretty long; and I even had to use the Bus. But I had to be home for Christmas anyway so it worked out good.

I sighed. Should I wait? Nurse Johnson might have gone home already by this time. It is pretty late after all.

Maybe I should just come back tomorrow?

_But…_ I groaned.

_I really want to see her…_

It's been five months since the accident and I've been plagued with so much guilt and terror. To hear that she had finally come out of her coma was like a heavy rock had lifted from my chest. I've visited her merely around three times. I only went into her room after I made sure that no one else was in for a visit. I didn't think I could face any of the family members after what I had done. I was particularly afraid to face that one guy who almost beat the crap out of me when I came to apologize. But I couldn't blame him. I wish he had beaten me. I deserve it. He was the one I almost ran into several times when I came for a visit. But that was only during the first couple of months.

_I want to see her… Isabella Swan. She deserves at the very least a face to face apology. _

"Hello?" I called out to one nurse at the reception. "Yes, how can I help you sir?" she smiled politely. I glanced at her nametag. Susan Hope.

"I'm here to see Isabella Swan. She was a coma patient."

She nodded. "Yes I know Ms. Swan. How are you related?"

_How are we related? I accidentally ran my car into hers which caused her to have a five month comatose. So I guess you can say that I almost killed her *smile* _

"Uh… I'm not related."

"Are you a friend?" Well… not really.

"I'm just a visitor. I came to…apologize." I looked down at the flowers in my hands. The nurse in front of me blinked, as if she knew who I was. "You were the boy in the other car during the accident." Yeap. She knew who I was. I nodded silently. "We have your file here at the hospital. I'm glad to see your arm in full recovery."

I waved it in front of her. "Yeah, thanks."

She smiled at me and stood up from her seat. "There's only 10 minutes left until visiting hours are over so we better make this quick. What's your name?"

I smiled at her, grateful. "Tyler Crowley. Thanks, Ma'm."

She wrote my name down on the log file and stood up. "No problem. Follow me Mr. Crowley. Ms. Swan is no longer located on the East Wing. She was transferred to the ICU."

"Why? Is there something wrong with her?" God! If she has amnesia or paralysis or anything…

"Nothing's wrong with her so far." Yay! That's a relief!

"But under the Chief's orders, she's getting the best possible treatment."

Cringe! Of all the people, I had to run into the daughter of the Chief of Forks. It was a real scare when he came over to me and took away my Driver's License. "Chief Swan?"

"Well, him too. But I was talking about Dr. Cullen. The Chief of Surgery. He's like a second father to Ms. Swan." She pressed the button for the elevator.

My eyes widened. _Oh Hell! Dr. Cullen? As in Carlisle Cullen? a.k.a. Mr. BIG Shot of Forks? HE is like Isabella's second father?? He's like the richest guy around! Everyone knows him!_

"Doctor Carlisle Cullen?" I asked to be sure.

She nodded. "Yes."

_I am SO DEAD!_ I've never actually met the man but I almost killed someone important to him. I started to feel like the smallest person in the world. My whole body was heating up in nervousness.

_Ding!_

When the doors opened. I caught sight of a familiar face.

I gasped sharply in surprise. _Shit!_

I swiftly brought the vase of flowers up to cover my face.

THAT'S the guy who almost beat the crap out of me! Good thing he was talking to the woman on his left instead of looking up front. He would have seen me no doubt. The looks of kill he gave me five months ago almost brought me six feet under! I bet he'd do it again once he saw me…

"Good Evening, Susan." I heard him say.

"Good Evening, Edward. You too, Mrs. Cullen." they exchanged pleasantries for a few seconds.

_Mrs. Cullen? Is she the wife of Dr. Cullen? So his name's Edward… What the heck was 'Edward' doing talking to the wife of Mr. Cullen? Was he… or were they here to visit Isabella Swan? But it's good that they're leaving. Oh crap! I hope the nurse doesn't tell them that I'm up to see "her"!_

"Have a good night. The both of you." Said Nurse Hope as we walked inside the elevator. I kept the flower vase in front of my head, hoping that I wouldn't look like a goon as 'Edward' and Mrs. Cullen stepped out. "You too." Edward replied. Once the elevator doors closed, I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding.

"Are you all right?" Nurse Hope asked next to me. "You're looking quite flustered there."

I chuckled. "I'm okay! Just uuh… claustrophobic. Elevators and all." Okay, that was a complete lie!

"Oh, I'm sorry. I wish you told me. We could've used the stairs."

"No. No. It's fine. So… who were those two people earlier?"

She smiled brightly. "The woman is Mrs. Cullen, Dr. Cullen's wife and the young man, about your age I presume is their son, Edward. He does quite resemble his father now that I think of it."

Another cord struck my brain and I bit back another sharp gasp!

_SON OF A… THAT was Edward Cullen?_

"Obviously they came here to visit Ms. Swan. I heard their families are quite close and Edward is Ms. Swan's best friend after all. He's here almost everyday when he's not in College. I think it's the sweetest thing!"

I swear… my legs felt like jell-o at the time of shock. "Oh." I squeaked.

_Holy. Shit. What the hell have I done! Why didn't anyone tell me about this? It's just downright creepy! Of all people, I had to run into an accident with 'her'! _

The elevator dinged open and Nurse Hope led me to one of the doors in the corridor. She knocked. "Bella?" No answer. Somehow, I felt relieved.

"Just as I thought. She's probably out for some tests." She opened the door revealing an empty room with a few flower vases. "You can put those down anywhere." She gestured to my vase of pink roses. Girls like pink right? The flower shop ran out of reds, so this was the second best thing I got. I hope she likes it.

I set them down on the right bedside table next to a small vase of blue flowers and sighed. "Maybe I should just come back tomorrow?"

"Yes, that'd probably be best." Said Nurse Hope standing just outside the door frame.

Just as I walked to the door however, a soft voice caught our attention. "Susan!"

_Oh Crap! Is that her?_

"Bella! Just in time. Someone's here to see you." My heart started beating faster. What do I do? I was still inside the room so I couldn't see her yet.

_Suck it up, doofus! You came here to apologize! No backing down!_

"Oh? Who is it?"

Nurse Hope looked at me and gave me a reassuring smile, which I was thankful for. I sucked in a breath and walked to the door, turning my head to the left.

What happened next was something I never expected.

I blushed.

Sitting on the wheelchair being assisted by Nurse Johnson was Isabella Swan. 'The' Isabella Swan. The girl who went into a five month long coma because of me. I don't think I said anything for what seemed like minutes gone by. Maybe it's because I couldn't believe that she was finally awake.

Pale skin, long brown hair, almond shaped brown eyes… Our eyes locked for the first time and my breath hitched.

_I never realized that she was so… pretty. _

_And did I mention the Hott figure! She's wearing a hospital gown for Christ's sake!_

My mouth must have been agape. Crap! She stared at me with confusion.

"Uh… hi." I waved my hand lamely.

"Oh it's you, Mr. Crowley." Said Nurse Johnson. She stood behind Bella's wheelchair.

I looked up at her, breaking my gaze from Isabella. "Hi Nurse Johnson."

Isabella's eyebrows quirked. "Hi, uh, I'm sorry but have we met?"

"Oh man! How do I say this?" I whispered to myself. My hand went up to the back of my neck nervously. "Uuhm…well, uh." I stuttered, afraid of how she might react.

Luckily Nurse Hope spoke up. "Bella dear, I don't believe you've been formally introduced. This is Tyler Crowley. He was the boy in the other car when the accident happened five months ago. He just came to see you." She gave me a firm push at the back which made my breath hitch in surprise.

"Oh! It's you!" Isabella chimed. I stared at her with wide eyes. She was smiling. Far from the expression I was expecting.

"I'm sorry, they haven't told me your name yet but I'm glad to see you're alright." Shouldn't I be the one to say that?

"Yeah uhm… I'm glad to see that you're alright too." That was lame!

"Nurse Hope, would you mind accompanying me for a minute." Said Mrs. Johnson out of the blue. "I seem to have forgotten Bella's file in Psychology. Mr. Crowley, you can wheel her in the room right?"

"Uuh.. y-yeah."

"Come along, Susan." Then Mrs. Johnson ushered a confused looking Nurse Hope down the hall to the elevator… leaving me alone… with her.

I turned to look at her smiling up at me in her seat. Why is she smiling?

_She's really pretty…_

"You didn't suffer any permanent injuries I hope?" she said.

I shook my head. "No. Well… a few scars in my arm when the glass embedded but other than that I'm good."

"Scars? Well, if people ask just say that you fought in an honorary battle." She chuckled.

I chuckled shyly. "Yeah, I'll do that."

Her head tilted slightly to the side. I found it quite… cute. "How old are you?"

"Nineteen. You?"

"Sev-… I mean, eighteen. My birthday flew by without my knowing." She shrugged.

Right. I suddenly felt bad. She missed her eighteenth birthday. "Uh… I got you a present for your birthday by the way."

She looked at me surprised. "Wha- you did? You didn't have to do that you know."

"I wanted to. I mean, it was the least I could do. I don't know where it is right now though."

She chuckled at me. "It's probably with my Dad. You really didn't have to get me one… but I guess giving it back would be certainly impolite."

"Yes it would! So uh… just keep it okay, please?"

She laughed then. "Only as long as it's the only present you'll ever give me."

"Oh!" I raised a finger and pointed it to the open door of her room. "I got you flowers too! The pink ones over there." I said, suddenly a little flushed.

"Another present? Oh… where did all that come from?" she scanned her room.

"Where did all what?"

"The flowers… and everything." Hmm… she must have been away in therapy for quite a while.

I shrugged.

"Do you know the time?" she asked me. I glanced at my watch. "It's five minutes to ten."

She let out a breath and slumped in her seat. "Wow, I've been in therapy for two and a half hours."

This is nice. I can already tell that it's easy for people to be around her. "Wait wait… I should be asking you different questions." I chuckled. "Are 'you' alright?"

She nods her head. "Yes, I'm fine. Other than the five month comatose, everything else is good. I also have a small battle scar in my head but my hair pretty much covers it up."

I smiled, relieved. "I heard you had a broken arm and ribs… and, well, a lot of things." My lips pursed. "I'm so sorry, I came here to apologize. I should be in your place right now."

"Oh come on now, don't say that. We were both at fault in the accident." Did no one explain to her how the accident happened?

"Hell no. Everything was my fault. I was the one who ran the red light. I can't even say how sorry I am for everything that happened. Didn't anyone tell you how the accident happened?"

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Well, he did tell me that a car rammed into me." He?

"Who's 'he'?"

"My friend, Edward." A wide smile crossed her lips. It was a great contrast to the involuntary shiver that ran down my spine. I let out a fake laugh. "Right, right… uh, Edward."

"Have you met him?"

I thought it best to just say "No." It wouldn't do any good if I said yes anyway… right?

"Oh… okay then." She looked up at me. "Uh, Tyler right? I can call you Tyler?"

I nodded sheepishly. "Yeah." What's with this girl that makes me all… fluttery?

"Listen… the accident…" she shrugged. "it's done. Whatever happened was suppose to happen, and it's probably all for a reason. We uhm…" she looked down at her hands for a second then smiled, her eyes sparkling for a small moment. "We can't blame ourselves for the things we can't control. All that matters now is that we're both breathing and walking about."

I stared at her. Somehow, what she said made me feel a whole lot better.

"So… let's just put that in the past and start over okay?" The smile on her face told be that she was sincere. She's not at all how I thought she would be. She was really nice. Pretty too. I don't know why I never noticed this when I came for visits.

Maybe I can ask her out?

"Okay then." I smiled. "Let's start over. Hi, I'm Tyler." I held out my hand. "Nice to meet you, Isabella!"

"Bella."

I quirked my brow, confused. "Huh?"

"Bella. Call me Bella. No one calls me Isabella except for my grandparents, and whenever I'm being scolded at." She smiled.

"Oh, okay then. Uh…Bella. Nice to meet you, Bella."

She shakes my hand. "Nice to meet you, Tyler."

I smiled widely, satisfied at the progress today. It went a lot better than I imagined. I think we'd get along quite well.

"Hey listen…" I started. "Do you want-…"

"HEY!"

I snapped… or more like jumped out of my comfort zone. I looked at the source of the voice and all my nerves broke loose.

"WHAT are you doing here?!"

_Holy Hell!_

…

**Edward's POV**

"HEY!" I barked out louder than I had intended. Walking briskly toward Bella, I gave Tyler Crowley a hard glare as he looked at me with startled eyes. An angry pressure started to build up in my chest. I wanted to scream at him!

"WHAT are you doing here?!" he looked quite alarmed standing there…next to Bella. It was just all wrong! I did not want him within ten feet of her and then I see them shaking hands!

"Edward," Bella calls to me, her voice surprised. "Keep it down. What's wrong?" I didn't even look at her. As soon as I reached them, I stepped in front of Tyler Crowley, making myself a wall between him and Bella.

My muscles tensed up just by looking at him.

"You didn't answer my question." I said firmly.

"Edward!" Bella called behind me, but once again, I ignored her. My body was just too eager to get this guy out of here. Just his mere presence makes me want to beat him to bits!

"H-hey, listen man, I just came to see-…"

"You know you've got a lot of nerve showing yourself here again!" my pressure rising.

"Calm down, dude! Seriously, I just came to see if Bella was alright."

My hand became a fist. He called her 'Bella'. Just how long have they been talking?

"Wait a minute… I thought you two haven't met." Bella said behind me. I turned my head to her slightly. "Oh we've met alright." I looked back at Tyler who seemed to have a troubled look. Then it dawned on me.

"Oh I see," my voice filled with sarcasm. "Lying to her already, Crowley? Bet you didn't think I'd show up." My arms crossed.

"Sorry Bella, but I just didn't think it was important." He replied. I stifled a groan. I know I have no control over what goes by but I didn't even want _him_ talking to her! Didn't I give him the 'stay away from her' glare already the first time we met? Apparently it wasn't enough.

"How long have you been here?" I spat.

"Dude chill, I just arrived a few minutes ago."

"Well, I think that's more than enough so please leave and let the door hit you on the way out! Haven't you done enough?!"

"Edward, he came to apologize!" Bella explained behind me, trying to ease the tension between us. Again, it seemed to have been ignored when Tyler sent me a furrowed brow.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" he suddenly spat.

I stepped forward. "Bella wouldn't be in this position if it weren't for you and your fucking driving skills!"

He imitated my action. "It was an accident. It could happen to anyone!"

"I bet your were glad that it wasn't 'you' who fell into a coma."

Bella tried to intervene. "Both of you stop it."

"What are you talking about? You don't know the hell of what I've been through, Cullen. "

"And 'you' don't know the hell of what the family and I have been through these past _five _months." My voice rising in anger. At this point we were both standing face to face with looks of scorn. We were just about the same height.

"Hey! I said I was sorry. What else do you want me to say?"

"I want you to get OUT of here!"

"What if I don't?" he contradicted. Is that a challenge? Now he's really in it. I was seething by this time, wanting to kick the crap out of him!

"I'll finish what I was supposed to the first day we met."

"Oh yeah?" his chin rose. "I'd like to see you try. Go on, hit me!"

"Tyler!" Bella yelled behind me. "Edward!"

He gave me the green light. Why shouldn't I hit him?

"Come on! I deserve it right? You should've done it all those months ago. Hit me!"

What the heck is he doing? He's crazy! I was about to turn away from his delusional act of masochism… but as these words came out of his mouth, I stiffened and suddenly lost it. "Go on. Show your _hott_ friend just how strong you are. HIT ME!!!"

"Edward, NO!"

Enraged, a rush of adrenaline shot through me as my fist collided with his face making him stumble backwards and hit the floor.

…

**16yearsold16yearsold16yearsold…**

_A rush of adrenaline shot through me as I dodged through my opponent and twisted my body to kick the ball dead straight and fast through the soccer net. Sweat dropped from my face as it only took a fraction of a second for me to realize that the Goalie, knocked back slightly in the process, had been able to block my shot. _

"_Damn it!" I grunted, running back at the center of the field._

_And that was when Coach Zimmers sounded the whistle. _

"_Alright Team! That's enough for today, hit the showers. I'll see you all tomorrow at 4 o'clock sharp! Good practice, everyone!" _

_Everyone howled sounds of approval as we headed to the stands to grab our bags and get refreshed. It's been a long day of practice, but I enjoyed every minute of it!_

_Exhilarating is just the right word!_

"_Hey hey hey, Cullen! How does it feel to be the Striker of the team?" mocked Jason McBride as he playfully locked my head under his sweaty arm. _

"_Yeah, little Eddie boy is making his way to the top. He's no longer the team's baby boy!!" Chris Baker joined in the teasing. _

_I rolled my eyes at their juvenile wit and hit them both at the stomach. "Knock it off, guys." I chuckled, jogging over to the stands. "And stop calling me Eddie boy!!" _

_They both may be one or two years my senior, but they're still as crazy as a couple of five year olds. Jason is our Center Fielder and Chris is our Team Captain and plays the Goalie. The first game of the season was coming up, so the Coach was working our asses off to make up for the summer. I wiped my face with a towel and stripped off my shirt. It may be September, but the summer sun was still here, and that's rare for a town like Forks. _

_I groaned, noticing the empty water bottle resting on the side of my bag. "Jason!" _

"_Sorry, man! I got a little more thirsty than I expected." And with that, he ran off with his bag to the showers. Mental Note: do not leave water bottles outside of your bag._

"_Hey Striker boy!!" came a familiar voice._

"_Wha-…" I darted my eyes toward the source and a huge grin broke my face. _

"_Bella!"_

_She always manages to take my breath away. She stood outside the metal fence, smiling and wearing denim capri's, a white sleeveless summer shirt and a baseball cap. _

_Nonetheless, I wasn't the only person who darted my eyes toward her. _

_My teammates whistled, cat-called and elbowed me in the ribs, making me flush in embarrassment. "What are you waiting for? An invitation? Go on!" Chris nudged me on the stomach._

"_Guys, come on, you all know Bella's just a friend." I replied, throwing the towel over my shoulder. _

"_I'd like to get some of that…" a voice behind me said._

"_Tell me about it." Came another._

_A flash of anger and jealousy shot through me as I looked behind, seeing James Rogers and Brian Baysinger talking to themselves at they looked at Bella. I was planning to give them the evil glare until Chris knocked me on the head. "Hello? Your girl is waiting! Want me to take your place instead?"_

_I jeered at him. "No way! She wouldn't be able to take that stinky athlete's foot of yours!" I smiled inwardly and jogged toward a blushing Bella. I'd be daft to say that the cat-calls they made didn't bother me, but part of me was glad that most of the people in the soccer team know her as a good friend. _

"_Hey you swore you'd never tell!!"_

_I chuckled and shook my head as I approached Bella. _

_She smirked at me. "What, the Athlete's foot thing?"_

"_Yeah." I grinned, curling my hands through the holes of the metal fence. "This is a surprise, Ms. Swan. Missed me too much that you had to come and watch my muscles flex in practice?" I joked._

_She scoffed."Put a shirt on, mister. I actually came to see Chris Baker's muscles flex, not yours." She joked back, trying to look behind me on the stands. "Hi Chris!!" she waved behind me._

"_Hi Bella!!" Chris yells back in a sing song voice! _

"_Seriously, with the Athlete's foot?" I laughed and immediately turned on my serious façade. "No, seriously, why are you here?" _

"_Oh, jealous already, Cullen?" her eyebrows rose in amusement. "Are you saying he's cuter than me?"_

_Bella pretended to think for a second._

"_Bellaa…" I whined. She sniggered. "I just came from the Library and thought I'd stop by. Nice side volley shot by the way."_

"_Ah, nice to see that you're reading that soccer guide I gave you."_

"_Well, if I didn't I'm sure you'd be pestering me until I gave in."_

"_It's for your own good. So you'd understand the game a lot more when you watch me play."_

_She grinned and reached for something inside her bag. "Jason drinking your water bottle again?" _

"_Uuh, yeah, how did you-…"_

"_I heard you guys." She brought out a bottle of Gatorade out of her bag, wiggling it in front of me._

_I stared at it and felt the dryness in my throat. She is an angel! "You're a life saver, Bells."_

"_Oh, wait! It comes with a price. Can I hitch I ride home with you? It is after all, the main reason why I'm here waiting for your practice to finish." She smiled sweetly._

_I laughed. "So that's how it is?"_

"_Please, Edward."_

_Like I'd say no. "Duh, just give me a few minutes in the showers."_

_She smiled. "Okay, go long!" Bella stepped back, ready to throw the bottle of Gatorade over the metal fence that separated us. I stepped back as well, effortlessly catching the bottle as Bella threw it above the fence._

"_Thanks!! Fifteen minutes tops okay?" I called back to her as I jogged to the soccer stands to grab my bag. _

"_Okay, I'll be right here!" she called back, sitting on the bleachers of the soccer field. I smiled. Knowing Bella, she'd be reading her worn copy of Pride and Prejudice again. _

_The shower only took less than five minutes and I headed to the lockers with a towel around my waist. It felt great being fully refreshed after an afternoon of soccer practice, and getting to spend the rest of the day with Bella only heightened my spirits. It is a Saturday after all. I wonder what we could do. Maybe watch a movie? Go to Port Angeles? Hang out with the guys maybe?_

_I started putting on my clothes when Rogers came up next to me, pulling out stuff from his own locker. "Hey Striker." He acknowledged. My team had been starting to call me that ever since the Coach announced the new positions yesterday. But I knew it would die out soon. _

_Remembering his comment back in the field, my spirits slowly dwindled down. "Rogers." I nudged my head at him, voice aloof. He was a senior and played Central Midfielder. _

"_So," he leaned against the lockers. "You and Isabella."_

_I didn't know whether it was a question or a statement. But either way, I didn't like where it was going. _

"_It's Bella."_

"_Yeah whatever." He shrugged. My hand gripped the door of my locker in annoyance. "I hear you two are pretty close."_

_What's he getting at? "I've known her ever since we were born." I replied, not giving him a straight answer. _

"_So you're like goody best friends and stuff." His voice hinting humor._

_I breathed through my nose and put on my shirt. "What's it to you, Rogers?". He raised his shoulders, "Nothing. Just wanted to know more the Swan girl, that's all." I stared at his face, his eyes glinting in mischief and a smile that says fuck. _

_I know that look. He's not fooling me. His smirk says it all. Rage built up in my chest. I knew it! He's had his eye on Bella for a while now. _

"_Stay away from her, Rogers." The tone of my voice dripping in menace as I slammed the steel door of my locker. _

_His head turned to me slowly. "Wha-…Oh I see." A grin appearing on his face as he placed his towel over his shoulder. "You like her, don't you."_

_My angry façade almost faltered at what he said. "It doesn't matter whether I like her or not. Just stay away from her." I know about his reputation. I didn't want him getting any ideas on Bella. _

_She's mine._

"_Hmm… she brings out your possessive streak. I see." He turned away from me and grabbed his shirt. "She must be a good shag."_

_My body tensed. "What?" I said with the lowest voice imaginable. _

_He turned to me, his face impassive."I mean you shagged her right? Come on, Cullen. Someone as hott as her, I'd have fucked her a long time ago. She's got a hott piece of ass…"_

_A growl erupting from my chest, I slammed him against the lockers with my hand tight on his throat! "Don't ever talk about Bella like that again!!!" The startled look on Rogers' face suddenly turned angry and before I knew it, I felt his fist hit the side of my face. Surprised by his attack, I stumbled to the side, gripping the aching pain on my left cheek. _

_Shit! That hurts!!_

"_Thought you were strong enough, were you? You're just a little shrimp, Cullen!" his voice like poison to my ears. _

_With renewed determination, I hit him back by surprise, my own fist colliding hard with nose. My hand felt something crack before I watched Rogers barrel down to the floor, cursing as he clutched at his face. _

_It was just about time when I heard the voices of my teammates telling us to stop and several arms driving me apart from him._

"_Edward! What in the world!!" _

"_Whoa… we missed the action!"_

"_Shit, he did a number on your face, James." _

_When a loud whistle filled the air, we all stopped and stood up straight to face our Coach. "What in GOD'S NAME is going on here?!" Everyone kept silent with our heads down as he moved among us. But of course, with my bruised face and Roger's bleeding nose, we wouldn't be able to hide. _

"_Rogers and Cullen, in my office NOW! The rest of you get on with your business. Baker, you come too." _

……………

_It's been about thirty minutes since I gave Rogers a bloody a nose. We stood inside Coach Zimmers' office trying to convince him that we had to play for the next game. He said that due to our immaturity and no control over our temper, we'd be better off sitting in the bleachers since teamwork between us might be impossible. Chris was almost on his knees, begging for us to be able to play in the field in which the Coach finally relented. However, Rogers and I would be in a week's worth of detention which includes being the towel boy for all of the sports teams. Talk about embarrassing. _

_God knows how long my parents will ground me when they find out about this. _

_Damn, my fist is killing me! And don't even get me started on my face. _

_I had a gash about one inch long on my cheek bone and it bled a little bit but it wasn't as bad as Roger's nose. He deserved it. No one talks about Bella that way and gets away with it!_

_Bella…_

_I looked at my watch. "Oh crap!" I uttered as I realized that I've left her outside for almost 45 minutes. Quickening my pace, I bolted outside of the locker room. Oh God, what would Bella think about this? _

_My question was answered as I turned the hall and found Bella leaning against the wall. Someone must've told her. _

_Her breath hitched as she saw me coming toward her. My jog turned into a slow walk. It was a wasted attempt to try and hide my face from her. _

_The afternoon light behind her allowed me to see her face. I felt like a baseball bat had hit my chest when I saw it. Her eyes were red and full of worry._

_She'd been crying._

"_Ed…"_

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

"Edward!" I heard the movement of the wheel chair behind me and the sound of a body hitting the floor. I gasped as I turned behind me. Bella was sprawled out on the ground a few feet from her wheelchair trying to get up.

"Bella!!" my voice panicked as I rushed to help her up. Her face was full of sadness, it almost hurt as I pulled her up by her arms. "You shouldn't walk! What were you thinking?" I scolded her.

"What was I thinking?! What were you thinking?! Look what you just did! Both of you were pretending like I wasn't even there!" she argued back.

I went for the lame excuse. "He asked for it!" Then she looked at me in annoyance.

"I'm alright," said a muffled voice. We both turned to look at Tyler as he stood up slowly while clutching his left cheek. I helped Bella back onto the wheelchair as soon as he stood upright. I rested my hand on the arm rests of Bella's chair. My breathing was frayed due to the anger I let out when I punched him. But for some reason, I felt a whole lot better.

"Are you okay, Tyler?" Bella asked her voice almost strained.

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Taking short deep breathes, I lay my head down for a moment.

I acted like a dick. I had no right to get angry. I let my temper get the best of me.

Sighing heavily, I decided to apologize. "I…I'm sorry. I didn't really mean to…"

"It's okay." Tyler replied. I looked up at him. His expression wasn't what I expected. He was smiling. As if the punch was just a big joke. "I… I kinda wanted you to punch me."

Surprised by what he said, I was about to stand up straight until I realized that Bella was actually gripping my arm that rested on her wheelchair. Her face still showed signs of stress.

_Oh man… I caused this. _

"Bella…" I whispered to her, laying my other hand on the one that was gripping my arm. Her breathing relaxed as she gently released her grip. She closed her eyes and faced down on her lap.

It's not good to put her under stress.

I looked at Tyler and asked him to come inside the room. I wheeled Bella inside and helped her on the bed. I was mentally kicking myself for having caused this. I knew better than to do something like this in this situation. I handed Tyler an ice pack. There may still be a little tension in the air between us but I wasn't that heartless.

"What do you mean, you wanted me to punch you?" I started. Tyler was sitting on the long chair at the side of the room.

He looked up and smirked. "Ever since the day you almost did, I've been wishing since then that nobody stopped you."

"You almost punched him on the day of the accident?" Bella asked as she lay down on the pillows. I nodded at her shamefully.

"It's alright, Bella. I understand anyway. It really was unfair that you suffered the consequences of what I did."

At least he had a conscience.

"Tyler, you know I don't blame you, or anyone else for the matter." Said Bella. I expected her to say that.

"I know, but I kind of blamed myself for everything. Which is the reason why I'm here right now." He turned to me. "I came to apologize." He lowered the ice pack. "Now I hope this punch in the face makes things lighter between us."

I chuckled. "It did, actually." I flexed my knuckles on the right hand, only realizing now how much it actually hurt.

Bella groaned behind me and muttered something that sounded like "men…"

I smiled and turned to her. "You should get some rest, Bells."

"And I should be going. Visiting hours were over fifteen minutes ago."

I nodded at him. He's not actually half bad. I brought out my hand for him to shake. "Truce?"

He smiled and shook on it. "Truce."

"I'm glad you're all right now, Bella. I'll try to come and visit tomorrow. My parents want to pay a visit too." He shrugged. I raised a brow. Parents?

"Sure, Tyler. Thans. Sorry about your uhm…"

He chuckled. "No harm done." We said our goodnights and I walked him to the door.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" he turns to me and gestures to the door.

"One second, Bells." I call out to her before closing the door behind me to face Tyler Crowley. This was quite an interesting turn of events. But I was glad to have everything sorted at the end of the day. It could have ended a lot worse.

"What is it?" I ask him.

He smirks. "Just tell her how you feel, man."

…_Huh?_

My eyes widened in surprise. "Ehe… uuh, what?" Did I hear that right?

"Come on, it was quite obvious. You like her don't you?"

I gulped. How the heck can he notice? He's known us for what? Like ten minutes?

"I know I shouldn't butt in on anyone's business, but I just think you should snatch her up before any other guy comes up. I mean, _I _was supposed to ask her out before you came in_._"

Normally I'd be mad but you can't really blame him. Bella's personality and friendliness sometimes gives guys the green light or the wrong idea. That's just who she is. Back in high school, whenever I'd see someone making a move on her I would just give them the 'stay away from her or you'll mess with me' evil glare, which works almost a hundred percent of the time.

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "How the hell can you tell?"

He chuckles. "I learn a thing or two from Psychology in College."

Interesting and crazy turn of events indeed!

……………

I walked back inside the room to see Bella propped up on the pillows and cracking an ice pack.

I closed the door behind me. "What's that for?" Was she hurting somewhere?

"Come here." She said, her voice even. As I walked beside her, she surprised me by grabbing my right hand and placing the ice pack over my bruised knuckles. My body relaxed, touched by her gesture. My hand and the ice pack were sandwiched between her two gentle ones.

I looked at her but her eyes were still downcast. "You know I don't like it when you get into fights…" her voice almost like a whisper.

"I know. I'm sorry." I said softly, taking a seat at the side of the bed.

She didn't speak. I thought it was a bad sign until her body leaned forward and enveloped me in a soft hug. Her forehead rested on my shoulder and she gave a deep sigh.

A smile broke out on my face. Let the actions speak. _"It's okay. I'm just glad you didn't get beaten to a pulp." _That's what this hug is saying. I put down the ice pack and hugged her a little tighter. It brought me back to those memories about a couple of years ago.

We stayed like this for a couple of minutes.

"You two acted like immature jerks." She muttered in my shirt. I just laughed. That was it. Angry and gloomy moment is over!

"I know."

"Are you okay?" her voice concerned.

"I feel better now." _Loads better._

She took my hand softly, careful not to touch my knuckles. "Maybe you should get Carlisle to check on this."

I squeezed her hand in reassurance. "Nah, it's just a bruise. It only stings when I curl it to a fist."

She sniggered. "And whenever _I_ have a small scratch, _you_ drag me to your Dad."

"Ehe, yeah that's true. But that's a different story!" Bella chuckled.

"So," she softly released me, "who are all these from?" she looked behind at the flowers on the side tables.

Smiling, I walked over to them. "These are from your friends at work, Lilies here are from Alice, Jazz, Rose and Emmet, Daisies are from a few friends from high school, they all chipped in, …" I walked to the other side of the bed. "These are from me… and uh, these pink roses? Oh… from your 'accidentee. Mom decided to take the other flowers back at your house because… you know… there was almost no space."

"Thanks, Ed. The flowers are beautiful!" Her eyes shined as she looked at the small arrangement of blue roses and stephanotis flowers I brought for her. "You always know which ones to get me."

My insides fluttered. "Only the best."

Then she looked right next to the flowers. "Isn't that the picture from your nightstand?"

"Yeah." I handed it to her. "You know how in hospitals, family members always bring picture frames? Well, I just kind of, wanted to bring this."

She smiled. "Wow… Do you remember how old we were in here?"

I sat next to her. "We were around three or four at that time. Mom took the picture."

Bella chuckled pointing at our missing teeth. "We look like bugs bunny in here." I laughed with her. "Why else would I keep it on my nightstand? Remember how I lost my front tooth?"

"Oh yes! How could I forget! You convinced me to try the 'door and string' trick."

"Hey it worked didn't it?"

"Yeah, it most certainly did!"

She caressed the frame in her hands. "Is this a new frame?"

"Uh…yeah." I pursed my lips and placed it back in the nightstand. "The other frame broke."

"Oh," she looked at me curiously. Part of me was hoping that she wouldn't ask more. "Okay."

Phew. "So, how was therapy?"

She groaned. "Long. But… it was, pretty good. I'm slowly realizing… that I've been asleep for more than a day."

I chuckled. "Really. That must have been interesting."

She smirked at me. "It was, actually. He sort of put me through this meditation state. It was like he was opening my brain and looking for memories."

I sat properly, more intrigued by what she was saying.

"After about a minute in there, I came to realize that I've actually been hearing voices when I was asleep."

I stiffened. "What voices? Seriously."

"I couldn't really make it out. Every voice was just blurry… like I was in a tunnel or something." I relaxed for a bit. What are the chances that she heard my confession?

"Anyway," she shrugged. "That's the extent of it. The voices were all high and low, fast and slow…I don't think I can make any of them clear enough to be understandable."

A breath escaped me. However, I couldn't understand how I felt. It was like a cross between sadness and relief. Did I want her to hear my confession at that time? I remember saying that I did. It'd probably make things a little easier for me…

_I wish you'd heard it. _

"Do you remember 'feeling' anything when you were asleep?"

Bella sighed disappointedly. "No… not really."

My face fell. During these past five months, I recall wishing that she could feel my touch… my kisses. I'd kiss her face, her hands, and it'd always make me feel sad for the reason that I was openly showing her my feelings without her knowing. Looking at her now, the desire to kiss her has gotten even stronger for me. I've never kissed her on the lips. But now more than ever, when my face comes close to hers, I couldn't help but involuntarily glance at them. It was like a magnetic pull was pushing me toward it.

I guess that's what you expect from a horny eighteen year old who still hasn't experienced a 'real' first kiss.

Then I spotted my boombox at the corner of the room. Music.

"Was there anything else you heard?"

"My lullaby." She responded quickly.

Surprised, I sat up to look at her and she was smiling at me, her eyes brimming with excitement as if she'd been waiting to tell me this. She heard it? "What?"

"Your Dad told me about you taping it for me to listen. He said it was a very helpful thing to do. I remember hearing it a lot. It was sort of… what kept me sane most of the time. It'd play constantly in my head. Dr. Wilson thinks that the music became my bridge from my unconsciousness to the real world." She took my hand in hers. "He was right, Edward…thank you."

I breathed out at the fast rate of my heart beating. She heard my lullaby. It actually worked. I couldn't explain the myriad of emotions running through me right now. But if there's one thing I know, it was that I was practically bursting with happiness inside. She wasn't able to feel me or hear my voice… but she was able to hear my song.

_It was enough… more than enough, actually._

I smiled at her. "Your welcome."

**……………**

**Bella's POV**

I woke up to the slight sound of Edward's snoring and I just had to smile.

As usual, I'm always the first one to wake up.

Opening my eyes slowly, I was greeted by his sleeping face only a few inches from mine. We fell asleep talking and facing each other on our sides last night. It'd been a long day.

I stared at Edward's face as the first rays of sunlight peeked in through the window blinds. I always enjoy looking at his sleeping face in the morning. He looks like a little boy. That's why I couldn't help but wake him up in strangely different ways. It's one of my favorite parts of the morning. He looks the cutest when his face scrunches up. It always reminds me of his ten year old self.

I was about to raise my hand and trace down his profile until I felt a familiar weight holding it down. His hand.

Several times, I'd wake up like this. With his hand pressed down on mine or his arm wrapped around my form. It'd always make me feel protected. That's just who he is. Edward is my protector. My best friend. A person I can't live without.

Looking down at his bruised knuckles, my mouth curved down at the sides. Taking my other hand, I gently placed it over his, caressing it softly. He stirred a bit which made me stop but it only made him squeeze my hand even tighter. My heart softened. I loved Edward's hands. They were big with long fingers and it felt nice under my small ones. The tips of my fingers only ended at the last lines of his fingers. I smiled thinking of our five year old selves when our hands were just around the same size.

Well, we're not little anymore. But we're still best friends.

What happened yesterday had really scared me. I thought it would end into a fist fight down the floor. Thank God it didn't.

It reminded me of that one day, two years ago. That was the first time Edward had gotten into a fist fight. Just thinking about it makes me scared. What hurts even more was that the cause had something to do with me.

But that day had been important to me. I can't even believe it's been more than two years already but then again, I did miss about five months of my life. I still couldn't wrap my head around the whole thing.

I looked back up to his face. He always looks so peaceful in his sleep.

Just like a little boy…

…

**16yearsold16yearsold16yearsold…**

"_Oow! Bella…Ow, Oow!" _

"_Sshh, quit whining, Edward." I dragged his bruised hand to the running water down the sink and dabbed the gash on his face with a damp gauze, trying my best to clean it. Part of me was still so angry and upset for what he did only minutes ago._

_Getting in a fight. What was he thinking!?_

_And now here we are in my house because Edward was too 'chicken' to face his parents_

"_Don't get angry, I didn't really do anything wrong." He complained. _

"_Oh really? Then care to explain why you have a huge bruise on your face and your knuckles? And hold still, will you!" _

_He groaned irately. "Can't really help it you know."_

"_What? Moving or punching James Roberts in the face?"_

_He sighed before answering, "both." _

_I bit back a sob that threatened to escape me as I stopped the water from running. Setting down the damp gauze, I headed to the freezer and grabbed a bag of frozen peas and an ice tray. I looked back and noticed him standing there as if lost in his own thoughts. "Sit down, Edward." He did without complaint, but his face was saying otherwise. I took a deep breath as I placed the ice cubes in the ice pack and walked over to sit in front of Edward. His hand was on the kitchen table so I gently placed the bag of peas on them. _

_I still wasn't looking at his face. "Thanks." He muttered._

"_You can thank me later when this is over."_

"_Bella, I was only trying to protect you."_

_Don't cry, Bella. "Well don't, Edward!" I said a little louder than I intended. I glanced up a little bit which was probably a mistake. Edward's face had a hurtful expression. _

_Closing my eyes, I tried to relax. "I mean…" I breathed, opening the first aid kit and taking out the things I needed to clean his cut. "Not… not in this way." The tears were starting to fill up my vision. Taking a small amount of ointment in my finger, I gently moved Edward's face sideways and dabbed it on the wound. He winced a little bit and it made me wince as well. _

"_Not in a way that would end up with you in a bloody heap on the ground." _

"_I didn't mean for it to go this far." His voice showing signs of irritation._

"_Yes you did! I know you. You're smarter than that. You wouldn't have slammed Rogers into the lockers if you knew that you would escape with at least a punch in the face. You knew what you were getting into." I hated getting mad at him. But what he did was just… urgh! It infuriates me!_

"_He called you a good shag and a hott piece of ass! You expect me to just let him get away with that?"_

"_If you could try. Yes, I do. I don't care what he says about me. James Rogers is a player and a pervert! He'd shag anything with a pair of legs. Everyone knows that. When he told you what he said about me, you should've just warned me about it then I'd stay away from him like I always do." I started peeling the butterfly bandages and attaching it to his cheek. I tried to be as gentle as possible but by the way we were arguing, it was almost impossible. _

"_I don't understand why you're getting so angry, Bella. I couldn't help it. You know he was way out of line. Why else would you possibly be ang-…"_

"_BECAUSE! I wouldn't know what to do if ANYTHING HAPPENED TO YOU, EDWARD!!!" I broke out, finally letting the tears fall down my face. I was standing in front of my seat as he leaned back on his chair, stunned by my outburst. _

"_Edward, just the thought of you getting punched in the face or being bloody beaten to the ground scares the hell out of me!" I sniffed. "Or worse, if the cause had anything to do with me!" Breathing for a moment, I faced down. I was afraid that if I looked at his face, I'd just succumb to the tears. _

_Sitting down, I tried controlling my sobs. _

"_Now hold still…," gently moving his chin to the side, I tried avoiding his eyes as much as possible while attaching the final bandages to his gash. _

_Once I had finished, Edward grasped my hand in his before it even left his cheek. My breath hitched. "I'm sorry." He whispered. _

_A ragged breath escaped me before I answered. "I know. I'm sorry too." _

_After a while, I slowly released my hand from his grip and handed him the ice pack for his cheek. He took it quietly. I started cleaning the mess on the kitchen table and the sink. My face was probably a mess. Tears were still escaping from them._

_Damn tears! Stop falling! _

_I stood in front of the sink, my back facing Edward who was still sitting on the kitchen table. I didn't like Edward seeing me like this. Crying my eyes out like a defenseless little girl. I hate looking weak in front of him._

_When we were a lot younger, I always remember him saying things that'd make me feel better in an instant. It was just like magic; like I had my own personal magician. Until now, he's still like that. _

_But… I always relied on him. He's done so much for me already… _

_One of my worst fears just happened today. And I got angry at him. _

_Is that even right?_

_The realization made my whole body tremble and a cry threatened to escape me. I can't be here right now with him. Not in the same room. Ridding my eyes of the moisture, I waltzed right out of the kitchen without a word or even glancing at him. He didn't even call me, which I was partly thankful for. I went to the backyard porch and breathed in the fresh air. Pulling out my ponytail, I sat on the old wooden bench at the side and let the silent sobs take over me._

_It was twilight. The sun was down and the clouds were filled with those pretty orange, pink and blue colors. It was a rare and beautiful sight in this part of the country. Countless times, Edward and I would watch this nature's display in our Meadow. We just went there yesterday but I was missing it now. _

_Several minutes have passed by and the brightness across the horizon had almost completely disappeared. Part of me was hoping that Edward would be there when I walk back in the house but the other part hoped otherwise. I didn't hear the front door opening but then again, I might have ignored it. _

_However, my question was soon answered as I heard the screen door to the backyard screech open. I felt his presence and it was making me anxious but I didn't feel like turning around to look at him. Maybe I was just too comfortable looking out at the horizon. His footsteps came closer and I heard the left side of the bench creak at his weight as he sat down. Dropping my head, my hair decided to make a curtain around my face. I could smell his faint scent as the wind blew our way. It reminded me of summer. _

_His cool hand went over mine and goosebumps filled my entire body. I'd suddenly missed his touch. My hand responded by facing up so our fingers intertwined. I felt him breath next to me as he stroked the back of my hand with his thumb and scooted over closer to me that our thighs were already touching. Our hands rested on his lap. We stayed like that for a moment, just letting our inner selves connect like what we would do when we were younger; the kind of connection that we just can't explain. It's been there ever since we fist laid eyes on each other. _

_It's okay now. _

_No words spoken. We knew what it meant. All is said and done, all that matters is now. _

_I was scared of him getting hurt because of me. It was one of my worst fears but I can't control Edward's actions. I just have to trust my best friend like I always do. _

…_My stupid, overprotective, sweet and perfect best friend…_

"_So…" Edward's voice hinting humor. "Hmm…So will you help me explain this to my parents? They wouldn't get mad as much if you're there."_

_I let out what sounded like a scoff and a chuckle. There he goes again. Edward the magician. He always knows how to make me smile no matter what the occasion is. I started to feel guilty for a moment but all that washed aside as Edward lifted our clasped hands and playfully bit mine. _

_He freak'n bit my hand!!!_

"_Wha…! Heey!" I shrieked in surprise trying to let go but he refused to unclasp it. _

"_What?!" his expression showing innocence and humor. Before I knew it, we were both laughing._

"_Why did you bite me?!" _

"_You weren't answering me! Just wanted to make sure that you were still alive! Mom and Dad are expecting me home soon and I need you to come with me." _

_I laugh out loud at his silly excuse before enveloping him in a soft hug which he heartily returned and the side of my head rested on his shoulder._

_I brought our still clasped hands up to my lips and kissed lightly the bruised part of his knuckles. I sighed. "Please don't worry me like that again, Ed."_

"_Hey, hey… come on, Bells. Every guy has his first fist fight. Cheer up. I'm alright, see!" He leans back and I bring my head up to look at his goofy smiling face… with a bruise on the side. I chuckle a bit and my mouth is smiling but my eyes were portraying an opposite emotion no matter how much I tried to make it go away. I was sure that he could see it… he always sees it. And all the time… he always tries to make it go away. _

_He's not making any promises. That's what his smile is saying. _

_He sighs. "Come here." He pulls me in another hug and I relax against him, breathing in his summer scent. _

_See? It went away. _

_I feel all warm inside now. Only he can do that to me. _

_Only my Edward. My own personal magician. _

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

My finger went up to his forehead and traced down his profile. As expected, his face scrunched up and I smiled widely.

_Yeap. Just like a little boy… and my own personal magician._

_That day two years ago, I'll never forget it._

I tickled his nose and it wiggled in the cutest way. I bit my lip and tried not to chuckle. My finger started to trail down his nose, and what happened next was something I did not expect.

He bit me! He woke up and bit the tip of my finger!!!

I gasped in surprise and tried pulling away. Edward chuckled as he let go and I flicked him lightly in the nose, not being able to control my own laughter. Startled by my flick, he raised his arm and tried flicking my in the nose as well and I tried my best to evade him. Our morning turned into a little flicking the face fight as we laughed around the bed.

_I wish every morning were like this…_

Grabbing the pillow at the head of the bed, I playfully pushed it over his head, placing a little of my weight over it as he squirmed underneath and reached at my side and tickled it. I shrieked in surprise as the tables turned in our common morning battle.

_I wish everyday would be spent with him…_

"No…no… no tickles!!!" I begged underneath him, trying my best to cover my torso. "You asked for it!"

I held my breath for a second before he attacked my sides and I fell in a fit full of giggles.

_Yes… I'll always remember that day. I already knew that I liked him before then…_

_But it was on that day when I realized just how much I actually loved him…_

…

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**Author's Note:**

**Nyahaha! Did anyone expect that? :)**

**We'll be having a little of Bella's POV from now on!**

**Stay with me people! :D**

**You know what to do:**

**REVIEW if you want a SNEAK PEAK!**

…**and if you have any comments or suggestions :)**

**AND… just to let you know, I am starting on a new story! Check my profile for the summary if you want!**


	14. I'll Be Home For Christmas

**Once again, thank you all for the reviews :D they make my day! :D**

**Sighs happily…bet you're all excited to see what happens between Edward and Bella now that you know how Bella feels! **

**By the way… This is a LONG Chappie :D I APOLOGIZE for all the Grammatical and Typo Errors… I hope there aren't any… my eyes are tricky and I don't spot them at once. **

**Here goes…**

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**Chapter 14: I'll Be Home For Christmas**

**Edward's POV**

"Woah."

Bella stopped midway into her bedroom, taking notice for the first time all of the presents she had gotten for her 18th birthday. I smirked behind her. "Surprised?"

She let out a breath. "You think? I can't believe how many there are."

Bella was finally released from the hospital today and we couldn't feel more relieved. I was glad to finally get out of that place… with Bella of course. The timing couldn't have been better! It was finally December twenty-four. Our Christmas Eve!

Chuckling, I set down the bags at the foot of her bed and her guitar at its usual spot, feeling as chipper as ever. I had asked Mom to bring Bella's guitar to the hospital days before. I still remember the look on Bella's face when my Mom brought it in and she didn't hesitate to pull it out of its case and start strumming some familiar tunes. I didn't even realize how much I missed Bella's playing. Listening to it felt like being on clouds. But that was the night after I punched Tyler in the face. Bella and I decided it was best to mention it. Tyler's parents did come over that day and I was grateful that Tyler said that the bruise on his face came from a baseball accident. He is a good guy after all.

"Well, the entire town did miss you a lot." Charlie came up behind us, a huge smile on his face. "Got everything you need, Bells? Medication? Phone? Or food if you're hungry for something?" Ever since Bella woke up, Charlie has been constantly been there for her, making sure that she's well rested and healthy. It seems like the tables has turned for these two for a while.

"I'm fine, Dad, thank you." She smiled. "And you don't need to constantly ask me those questions every thirty minutes. Even I wasn't that persistent."

Charlie chuckled. "Well, just wanted to make sure that my little girl is more than fine." Bella looked touched and hugged her father. "I'm more than fine, Dad. Besides, Edward is here to answer to all of my royal orders. Isn't that right, my right-hand man?" she smirked at me.

I gave a formal bow. "Always at your service, my lady."

"See." Bella chuckled and turned to Charlie once again. "Go to Edward's house and watch the game with everyone else, Dad. I'm sure you're dying to kick on some beer and barbeque wings with the 52 inch television set."

I held up a finger. "Uh, it's actually 56 inches."

Charlie shrugged. "Well if the both of you put it that way, I guess I have no choice."

He didn't need to be convinced twice.

Once Charlie left, Bella and I were left alone in the house. I sat on the edge of her bed.

"So…where do you want to start?"

She gave me an excited smile but instead of reaching for the nearest present like I expected she strutted over toward me. My eyes widened. I yelped in surprise as Bella tackled me on the mattress, laughing as she did so. I couldn't even begin to say how wonderful that felt but Bella rolled to the side next to me and buried her face in the pillows. "I miss my bed!"

My spirits lowered by an inch. "And tackling me was because…?"

"It's fun." She simply shrugged. Then my spirits came back.

Bella's strength was coming back fast. Since she woke up, she's been getting healthier by each passing day. Sure her clumsy side was back but I knew that it would die out soon. Her test results all came out clean but she's still slightly prone to quick fevers and pneumonia so we'll have to watch out for it.

"By the way, do you know where Renee and Phil are at?" she asked.

Renee and Phil had arrived several days ago as well. They decided to spend their holidays here rather than New York.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. Renee's along with all the other mother's at my house. They're getting ready for the Christmas Eve Party tonight and Phil is watching the game-…"

"Along with all the other father's at your house." she continued for me. "Yup! And our friends are helping with the decorations. Alice and Rose will come over later to help you with your Christmas 'outfit' tonight."

Our crazy friends on the other hand, who are now two couples, had decided that it would just be best to tell Bella about their new found relationships. Bella of course was ecstatic, saying that it was about time. They'd been visiting in the hospital every single day. Coming early in the morning and leaving late at night. So Bella and I are pretty much filled in on everything that's been going on with their lives.

She laughed. "Ah, just like the old time Christmas'." Then she frowned. "Only I couldn't make my smores this year."

"No need to feel down. Everyone understands. You can make up for it next year. Make something extra special if you want."

"Yeah, I guess I could do that." She smiled once again into her pillow and sighed.

"Are you tired, Bells?"

She shook her head. "The bed just feels really nice that's all."

I moved my body sideways, facing her. "You know you need to take a long nap today."

She groaned. "Ooh… what am I? Seven?"

I chuckled, "At this current state you need all the rest you can get remember?"

"But I really want to help with the decorations at your house." She whined.

"Bella, for the hundredth time, you need your rest."

"Can I at least open my presents before I take a nap?"

I chuckled again at how childish it sounded. "Of course you can." I answered back like a grown up. She playfully hit me in the arm "Oh don't go all grown up on me."

Bella climbed down the bed and I watched her open her presents like I was watching one of my favorite movies.

The ones she had opened first were from our friends at school. An assortment of clothes, shoes, books and girly things came out of it. But what really made us laugh out loud was Erik Yorkie's toy pig present which we assumed was probably a three year old's toy. It oinked and walked every time you pressed on the snout.

"Now I won't ask why Erik was voted class clown." I laughed, holding the little squeaking toy in my hands.

"Yeah, tell me about it. That was really sweet." Bella sniggered.

Tyler's gift was a small decorated box which we assumed came from Hallmark. Bella seemed to think it was cute.

From our family friends, Bella got a reader's and traveler's journal, a brand new art set, a $100 Borders gift card, a tiffany&co silver jewelry set, a leather bound copy of Jane Austen's works, a nice blue coat and a white summer dress with matching sandals, which I could not wait to see her wear one day.

Bella tried on the blue coat and looked at herself in the mirror. It hugged her curves perfectly. "What do you think?"

_No one else can wear it better than you. _"It looks really good, Bells! High five to Alice's mom."

She chuckled. "Yeah. Now we know where Alice gets her talents."

"Can I see you wear the dress?" I asked, trying my puppy dog eyes.

"Ehe, uh, not now." Worth a shot eh?

She was overwhelmed when she found the telescope that my parents got for her. She found it at the discovery store last year but backed out of buying it after she saw the tag price. I made a mental note to keep an eye on it and get it for her one day, but my parents beat me to it. Charlie and Renee are getting Bella a new car for her birthday and Christmas but they won't get it until after the holidays.

"I can't believe they got me the telescope!" she exclaimed, pulling it out of the box. I smiled at her enthusiasm and laughed when she pouted at the fact that it was at least an hour of work to set it up. "It's rare to see the stars in winter. So you don't need to set it up right away."

She scratched her head. "Yeah I guess so."

Moving on to the last few presents, Emmet had given her a Seattle Seahawks Jersey and Jacket which we laughed about a little bit. Emmet has always been known to give sports apparel's as gifts. Most of Bella and mine's jersey's came as a gift from him.

Jasper gave Bella three cookbooks that made her smile. Rosalie gave a nice picture frame of the three of them girls which almost brought her to tears and a strawberry scented bath set that she loved.

Bella gave a deep breath and stretched her back.

"That was a lot of fun." I said.

"Indeed." She smiled and looked at the last box. "I think I know what that is."

I rolled over on my back. "Well, I'm pretty sure it has something to do with Bella Barbie."

"Oh yeah! We know Alice too well." I heard her tearing the wrapper of the present and the sound of a box opening. "Yup! We know Alice 'too' well."

I stretched my head up and looked at her upside down. "Anything you can show me?"

She sorted through the box. Just how many clothes did Alice get? "Gosh, I can't believe Alice got this many stuff! I know I didn't give her a budget but she wasn't playing fair!" she said. I gave her an amused look. "That's almost like a present for Alice as well. You know how much she loves dressing you up like a doll."

She smiled at me. "I guess you're right."

Bella pulled out a white jacket and wore it in front of me. _Beautiful as always._ "This would be nice to wear in the summer… along with this hat!" she pulled the hat out of the box and I smiled widely at how lovely she just looked.

"I feel like I'm cosplaying." She laughed and pulled a sophisticated face. "Monsieur, escort me to my humble abode."

I laughed at her silliness and rolled back onto my stomach. "Very funny, Bella. But I have to say that that line didn't really suite you."

She threw her hat at me. "I'll take that as a compliment!" Then she sat on the bed, looking at me in the eye.

"What?" I asked her, even though I already knew what she was going to ask. I just wanted to hear it straight out of her mouth.

"Oh well, it's nothing really." She faked obliviousness. "I'd feel guilty for saying this if I was just some random person who doesn't know you very well but… you 'always' get me a present."

My smile reached my eyes.

"… even if it's not my birthday, Edward." She continued in her 'as a matter of fact' way.

"I'll give it to you… after you've had your nap." I smiled deviously as her mouth went agape.

"You Mr. Cullen are one sly negotiator."

"And proud of it, Ms. Swan." I wrapped my arms around her waist and dunked her down to her side of the bed where she landed with a small 'Oof'. She crossed her arms in the bed. "Fine, I'll just pretend to be asleep and wake up an hour later."

"The party is at eight o'clock and it's three-thirty right now. I expect you to be awake by six, no more, no less." I said, using my doctor-voice. Maybe because it was just too much fun to tease her.

She made a frustrated grunt. "Whatever, Ed." I chuckled at her. "Good girl."

"I'll be back with your present alright?" I said, swinging my legs out of bed. "Call me if you have trouble."

"Edward, I'm about to fall asleep. What trouble could there be?" she smirked.

I rolled my eyes playfully. "Just call me okay?" I replied. You can never be too sure about anything. And with that, I closed the door to her room and drove straight to my house. I had to park outside however, since my usual parking spot was taken by Emmet's big truck.

I walked in to hear loud cheers of excitement in our TV room. I shook my head. The game must be going well.

"Edward! You're here!" Alice waltzed next to me, carrying a few Christmas ornaments in a box. "How's Bella!?"

"Hello to you too, Alice. Bella's back in her room, 'not' sleeping, I'll give you that."

Alice chuckled. "Oh, poor Bella. Did you open the presents already!?" she asked with a sparkle in her eyes.

I smiled. "Yes, Alice. We did. Just how many clothes did you get her?"

"I gave her a full wardrobe for every season! She didn't warn me about keeping a low budget on her present so I took my chance! Oh, I just can't wait to see Bella try them all on!" she swooned and left for the Christmas tree in the living room. She's probably daydreaming right now.

I entered the kitchen to find everyone busy with their cooking. My Mom, Renee, Mrs. Hale, Mrs. McCarty and of course my Aunt Elizabeth. Our other guests would be arriving a little later, I presumed.

"Hello, everyone! Happy Christmas Eve!" I greeted, all them looked up from what they were doing and greeted me the all the same.

"Happy Christmas Eve!"

My Mom came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "How are you Edward and where's Bella?"

"She's dozing off in her room." I grinned.

"Does she need anything, Edward?" asked Renee as she looked up from her cake batter.

Shaking my head, I answered. "Nope. She's fine. She asked about a million times if she could go and help with the decorations here but I stood my ground."

Renee chuckled. "Well, I'm impressed!"

"Aren't you going to give your favorite Aunt a kiss?" Chuckling, I looked behind me and hugged my Aunt Elizabeth. Well, she wasn't really my Aunt. She's my father's cousin who's like a sister to him. They could actually pass on as twins. "It's good to see you Aunt Izzie! You are my 'only and favorite' Aunt of course! Sorry I wasn't able to pick you up from the airport."

"Oh no worries, boy." She stood back to look at me. My Mom smiled. "Well I'll leave you two to catch up! The roast beef needs a little more work." Then she waltzed back up to the counter.

"God! What have you been eating? You've lost a chunk of weight." My aunt exclaimed.

"No worries. I'm back to eating like a pig again. But you look absolutely divine this year!" I said, giving her hand a little kiss.

My Aunt Izzie has always been a child at heart. She's actually the one who taught me how to become a charming gentleman and to think that I was only seven at that time. I still remember the look on my mother's face when I quoted to her the words of Shakespeare while offering her a rose that I picked out from the garden.

She laughed. "Ohoho! Glad to see that you're still using your special Cullen charms. Where's Isabella? I haven't seen her since last Christmas. Is she well back on her feet now?"

"Yes she is!" I smiled brightly. "She'll be here before the party starts. She just has to rest before then."

A gleam flashed in her eyes. "So, are the two of you together yet?!"

_Oh not again!_

"No, Aunt Izzie." I groaned.

"Well you better tell her soon, boy! Before someone else snatches her up. You know how much I fantasize about the future marriage of my only nephew!"

"Woah, slow down Aunt Izzie." I chuckled. "I know. But… just not now. She's got a lot going on in her mind."

She sighed. "Alright then. But you better take your chances and do it soon or I'm going to whoop your arse."

……………

"Aren't you both supposed to help with the decorations?" Opening the door to my room and finding my friends playing with my Xbox was no big surprise.

"Were you ever going to tell us that your room has been magically transformed?" Emmet crossed his arms.

"Yeah! What's up with that? Oh! I WIN!! Cough it up, Em!" Jasper raised his fist in the air in triumph leaving Emmet to wallow.

"Uh… maybe it's because I knew that this would happen? And are you guys betting again? Haven't you had enough of the red nail polish game?"

Emmet glared at me. "A man needs his revenge, Ed." Ironic, since he's pulling out some cash and giving it to Jasper.

I raised my hands in defeat. "Okay, man."

"Where's Bells? Is she here? And is this for her?" asked Jasper, holding up a nicely wrapped box from my table.

"Yes, that's hers… be careful with it! Don't shake it up and down like that!" I sauntered over to him and took the gift in my hands. "And no, she's not here. She's back at her house sleeping… I hope."

Emmet came up behind me. "It's awfully heavy. What is it?"

"I'm not telling you guys…" I replied, walking out to the door.

"Come on! She's opening it soon anyway."

"Alright!"

"Really?"

I quirked my brow. "No. Enjoy my Xbox while you still can." I gave them one last smile before closing the door and walking down two flights of stairs.

Catching a flash of blonde hair, I gave a mischievous grin. "Rose! Your boyfriend and cousin are playing pin the tail on the donkey in my room."

Her arms crossed. "More like pin the tail on the bear! Thank you, Edward." She replied before skipping up the stairs uttering something that sounded like 'boys and stupid toys'. I slightly resented that.

I kept Bella's present safely in the passenger seat as I drove up back toward her house. I could've walked but I didn't want to risk dropping the present or letting Bella catch a cold. It would be snowing around seven tonight.

I was very confident with my present. I bought it from an old store I found in Port Angeles long before Bella's birthday. After taking one look from the store window, I knew I just had to get it.

No sounds were heard as I headed up to Bella's room so I made sure to creep inside quietly.

Sure enough, she was asleep on her side as I opened the door. I smirked. I knew she couldn't resist taking a nap at this time. The room was still a little cluttered from the many wrappers and boxes from Bella's presents. I wanted to clean it but I didn't want to wake Bella up from the noise I might make. She was a very light sleeper.

Deciding to just clean up later, I neared to the bed and placed her present beside her sleeping body. Strands of her hair were covering her face and I brushed them back softly as if acting on impulse. She stirred a little bit which made me stop but she fell right back with a sigh.

She looks like an angel. Watching her sleep has always been a dear time for me.

I took the blanket from the foot of the bed and gently draped it around her form before I lay down on my side of the bed. I leaned up on my elbow and watched her breath in and out.

The urge to let her know how I love her was so strong it was almost suffocating me. I want so badly to kiss her lips whenever I stare at them in her sleep. I never did it because it felt like I was taking advantage of her, but every single time… I just wanted to know what it felt like to press mine against hers.

_Does she ever think about kissing me I wonder?_

Shaking my head, I knew that I was wishful thinking. But is it possible?

My hand reached for her cheek and I traced her soft skin through my fingers. Again, she leaned in to my touch. "Edward…" she whispers.

My body went still and my heart beat increased. I closed my eyes to take in the strong emotions that engulfed me.

_I love her so much, it hurts. _

Taking a deep breath, I stared at her with loving eyes. "Bella."

"Mmm…" she answered, which puzzled me. Is she awake? Her eyes were closed and her breathing looked even. "Are you awake?" I whispered even lighter than before.

No answer.

With a courage that suddenly overwhelmed me, I decided to take a chance.

I neared my face to hers until our foreheads touched and my hand came up to gently caress her cheek. "Bella" I breathed, my heart racing even faster than before.

"I love you, Bella."

…

I waited.

For something.

Anything.

But she didn't even move.

"Mmm…" that was it. That was the only sound she made. A tiny moan in her sleep, and I wouldn't know the meaning of it.

Closing my eyes in disappointment, I retreated and laid my head back down on the pillow.

_Will it ever happen for us?_

With that distraught question in my mind, I drifted of to sleep

…

…

"_love you, Edward…"_

……………

**Bella's POV**

I woke up in surprise to find Edward's head so close to mine. My heart beat increased wildly. Just a couple of inches and our lips could be pressed together. I gasped.

Feeling skittish, I backed away and looked down to find my blanket draped around me and… a box lying between us. It was dark but I could see that it was beautifully wrapped in my favorite combination of blue and purple with a white ribbon on top.

My present.

Biting my lip in excitement, I sat up and crossed my legs. Edward certainly knows how to keep his end of the bargain.

Just as I was about to shake him awake, I noticed the troubled look in his sleeping face. My face fell. Is something wrong? I don't like seeing him like this. Leaning down to my elbows, I smoothed away the furrow of his brow. He stirred and opened his eyes.

"Hey."

He gave me a small smile. "Hey."

"Are you okay?" I asked. He rubbed at his eyes and leaned up on his elbows. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"

I shrugged. "You looked a little troubled in your sleep there. Is something bothering you?"

He shook his head quickly and sat up on the headboard. "No, no. Everything's fine. Did you sleep well?"

I nodded but I could still sense that something was bothering him. I made a point to ask him about it later on. Once he looked at the present in my hands, he smiled.

"Well," he made himself more comfortable. "Are you going to open it or what?"

Chuckling, I sat up on the headboard next to him and took it in my lap, surprised at how heavy it was. "Wow, this is… light." I said sarcastically, pulling on the white ribbon on top. "What is it?" I asked, looking at him excitedly.

He chuckled. "Will you just open it?"

"But it's so beautifully wrapped! I don't think I want to." I teased him.

He rolled his eyes. "Bella, if you're not opening it, I am."

Sensing that he really wanted me to open it, I just gave him a sweet smile and started tearing on the wrapper. A blank white box appeared underneath and I had to take the tape out before opening the top. I was smiling the whole time. I was always excited for Edward's present on my birthday. His gift has always been the highlight of my day. They always mean a lot to me and every single year, he never fails to catch me by surprise.

This year was no different…

Opening the box on top, I saw that it was filled with shredded colorful paper. For the protection of something fragile, I guess.

I looked at him one more time before digging my hand in and pulling out something that felt like pointy plaster and… glass. It was no lightweight.

Once I saw the head of my present, my eyes widened and I gave a large gasp! Pulling it out the whole way, I held it in my hands, feeling so speechless. My whole body flooded with so many emotions at once, I thought I could burst from it all.

A Winnie the Pooh snow globe.

It was around fourteen inches tall. Clearly an antique. The globe was shaped in an 8-form. On the top globe, Pooh was flying on a balloon, and at the bottom was Christopher Robin holding an umbrella. A large tree and Pooh's friends surrounded it. I couldn't even say anything. It was so beautiful.

_Is this because of…_

"Look at the side of the tree." Edward said softly. I stared at him first. He had the handsomest smile on his face and I could hear my heart pounding in my chest.

Letting out a breath, I turned the snow globe to the side and saw the engraving on the tree that made my heart skip a beat.

**"If you live to be 100, I hope I live to be 100 minus 1 day,  
So I never have to live without you."**

**~E & B~**

"Do you remember that summer when you told me that quote?" he said next to me. I nodded silently, still not taking my eyes off it. "You remember…" I said silently.

"Of course."

The engraving was a quotation from the Winnie the Pooh cartoon. A few summers ago, I had the greatest pleasure of quoting him these lines but… his reply was the one that struck me the most.

I pursed my lips. "And you said… that we'd just have to die together… because-…"

"There is no way I would ever live a day without you." He continued for me and my heart fluttered in a thousand spasms.

At that moment, I fell even more in love with him.

_Oh, God… I love him so much, it hurts. _

Tears started falling down my eyes. Can I ever tell him how I truly feel? Will he ever love me the same way that I love him? If I tell him, will he run away and never come back?

_No. I can't lose Edward. Not him…_

"Bella? Do you like it?" his voice suddenly nervous. Wiping the tears from my eyes, I looked at him incredulously.

He groaned. "You're crying-…" without letting him say another word, I hugged him in my arms, leaving the snow globe to rest on our laps. "They're tears of happiness you dope." I chuckled and said sincerely. "I love it, Edward. Thank you. It's the best present in the world."

I felt him hug me back and sigh. "Your welcome, Bells."

I smiled in his shoulder. "How do you always know what to get me?"

He chuckled. "Because I know you too well, that's why."

I sniffed as more tears fell and I wiped them away on his shirt. _How could I ever tell him?_

"Bells, you know I hate it when you cry." He held me tighter. _Then stop being so damn perfect already!_

I nodded. "I know." _I know that I don't deserve you…_And that thought was enough to make my heart drop.

Pulling back, I looked into his green eyes and saw an emotion that I couldn't fully understand.

Our heads were so close that I could feel the air coming out of his mouth as he breathed. For almost a split second I glanced down to his lips and tensed up. We were so close. I licked my lips involuntarily and I heard his breath hitch. He seemed closer now than ever before. We were still staring at each other, an unexplained emotion in his eyes.

_What is that, Edward?_

His warm breath. I could already feel it on my lips. The desire to move forward was so strong. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest.

_Just one kiss…_

_If I can't tell him how I feel, maybe I can show him…_

With an ounce of courage, I leaned in…

"RISE AND SHINE, SLEEPING BEAUTY!"

BAM!!

"Oh…"

_Oh God…_

……………

**Edward's POV**

_Fuuuck…_

My head hit the headboard with so much force that I stifled a groan that threatened to escape me. But the groan wasn't because of the pain at the back of my head. It was because of the worst possible timing of that CURSED Pixie!

The lights went on. "Oh…Edward! Right, sorry! I forgot you were here. Are you alright? Did you hit your head?"

She didn't see.

I couldn't speak. I was too much in shock! _Were Bella and I just about to…?_

"Hi, Alice! Yeah, you kind of startled us. Whatsup?" Bella perked up next to me. Her voice was surprisingly normal. I only realized now that I was gripping the sheets of the mattress.

Alice tapped on her watch. "We have an hour and forty-five minutes before the party starts! We need to get ready! You, Edward can now go back to your house! Rose and I will take care of Bella from here." I felt my arms being pulled and I was dragged out of the bed. It took me a few seconds to shake my head out of the clouds.

"B-but, I have to drive Bella to the party."

Rosalie appeared on the door. "No worries, I brought my car so you can go ahead. Esme needs you to pick up some stuff." She said, tossing me my keys… which I didn't catch. Rose raised her brow. "You okay there, Eddie?"

I was hearing things on the background. Paper bags opening and Alice's quirky voice. "Oh, Bella! You're going to love these outfits!!!"

I bent down quickly to pick it up. "Yeah! I'm okay. Are you sure… uhm, Bella…"

"It's okay, Edward. I'll meet you at the party." Bella said. I turned to look at her. She smiled at me, holding the snow globe in her hands… as if nothing ever happened.

My heart sank to the pits of hell.

_Nothing did happen. We… we were just too close. I thought we were…about to…_

"Go on, I'll be okay." She chuckled and I snapped out of my thoughts.

I nodded without a word.

"Don't be Mr. Worry Worrisome, Edward. Now get out of here! We need to get ready." Alice pushed me out to the door and I almost stumbled down. "Uhm, okay." That was all I said before heading out the door… the house… and to my car.

I gripped on the wheel to let out the tension of my body. _Damn it! Just damn it all! Why are things getting more and more frustrating for me!_

What the heck was that back there? I'm certain that we stayed in that spot for more than five seconds just staring at each other! We were so close. Just a tiny inch forward and we could have been… could have been… I shook my head.

But it wasn't what I thought it was. It meant nothing. She felt nothing.

Groaning in pain and utter distress, I punched the interior of my car before driving away, silently cursing myself for something I should have or should not have done.

…

**15yearsold15yearsold15yearsold…**

"_It gets better and better every year doesn't it?" Bella told me as we crossed the crowds of the Winter Fair in Port Angeles. My Mom had a business meeting here tonight so I asked if we could hitch a ride so we could see the fair._

_Emmet and Jasper disappeared somewhere in the crowd, probably looking for free food on the stands. Rosalie and Alice on the other hand were right behind us. _

"_Yeah." I smiled at her. She looked really pretty today in her white winter coat. Bella smiled as she looked all around, her cheeks turning pink from the cold falling snow. I was beaming inside at the fact that we were hooked by the arm. From another person's point of view, it probably look liked like we were on a date!_

_It felt nice to walk around. Christmas lights were above us, music was everywhere and the smell of all kinds of holiday treats and dishes were being sold and served. _

"_Edward! Bella!" Alice called from behind. "Rose and I are going to skate at the rink! Wanna come?" _

_Bella chuckled at the idea. "Are you forgetting who you're talking to here? I have sticks instead of feet when I walk out on ice." _

"_Don't mean to be rude but, it's true." I shrugged._

"_Thank you, Ed."_

_This is great! If they leave, Bella and I can be alone together!_

"_Oh well then! I guess you two should just keep walking around and stuff. Uhm, let's all just connect by phone?" Said Rosalie. She shot me a look and smirked. When I realized what it meant, I grinned secretly._

_They had planned this._

_God, thank you for sneaky friends!_

"_Okay! We'll see you guys later." I said enthusiastically before turning around and pulling Bella with me. _

"_Hey. What's the rush?" she chuckled as she kept up to my footing._

"_Uh…I… I can smell the… the uh, figgy pudding over there!" I pointed to the nearest cake stand I found. "Wanna try some?" I asked her._

"_I guess it's about time for a tummy calling. Sure! Smells delicious!" Bella and I walked around from stand to stand, milling over the holiday treats and the things they had on display. We shared food on almost every stand on the street and groaned as our stomachs became full. _

_Now it really did look like we were on a date! _

_I was just ordering two cups of cocoa when I found Bella wondering on a stand filled with crystals of all shapes and sizes. She was smiling as she tried on a bracelet and set it back down as she talked to the old man behind the stand._

"_Yo Edward! Your order here." I turned around surprised to see Chris Baker handing me two hot cups of hot cocoa. _

"_Chris!? What are you doing here?" I handed him the three dollars and set down the cups on the counter._

_He extended his hands. "What's it look like I'm doing? I'm selling hot cocoa and churros to the people of Washington."_

"_But… didn't I just order from an old lady here?"_

"_Hey! My grandma isn't an old lady! She's the healthiest eighty year old woman I've ever seen."_

_My eyes widened. "Wow. Go Grandma Baker."_

"_Damn right!" He glanced behind me. I followed his gaze and saw that he was eyeing Bella on the opposite stand. _

"_Whoa! Are you on a date with Bella Swan?" his expression turning amused. _

_I blushed. "Chris, I told you. We're just friends."_

"_Yeah, yeah, alright." I doubt that he listens to the fact that we're just friends. Even though I want it to be more than that. _

"_Hmm… just a little info…" he smirked. "Take her to the dance floor in the center of the fair. Chicks dig dancing under the snow at night. Look all around you! It's the perfect time and place! Ask her to dance." I stared at him. "You- you think?"_

"_Go for it!"_

_I left Chris's stand with a little nervous pit in my stomach as I made my way to Bella. Her eyes sparkled and a light bulb lit up on my mind. "See anything you like, Bells?" _

_She smiled at me before taking the hot cup from my hand. "I was just browsing, Ed. Thanks."_

_I stared at the old man behind the stand and he had a smile that reached his eyes. "Care to buy something for this lovely lady, sir?" _

_A smirk appeared on my face. He's speaking my language. I was scanning through the crystal accessories down at the table until one of them quickly caught my attention. _

"_Oh no. We were just browsing around-…"_

"_I'll take this one!" I smiled up to the old man and pointed to the one I wanted. Bella blinked at me. "Huh? You don't have to."_

_I handed the old man a ten dollar bill and took the crystal hairclip in my hands."Can't return it now. I already bought it." I held the clip up in my hands so she could see._

_With the look in her eyes as she stared at it, I knew that she liked it. I set down my cup for a moment on the table and reached to put her jacket hood down. With ease, I slipped the clip on the right side of her hair to keep the bangs away from her eyes. Once I stepped back, I gave her a big smile. She looks even more beautiful now. "There."_

_It was a snowflake crystal. Perfect for this time of year!_

_She stared at me the whole time but I couldn't make out the look in her face. Her hand reached up to touch the clip in her hair before she looked right back up at me. _

_Her eyes softened and she gave me the sweetest smile I've ever seen. I felt the strong fluttering feeling coming back. "Thanks, Edward."_

_We walked arm to arm once again and soon enough, I led her to the center of the fair. There was a stage with people performing Christmas songs. A few tables surrounded the place and couples slow danced under the snow. Chris was right. Everything here seemed to scream 'Winter Romance'. I glanced at Bella and noticed how her eyes brightened as she saw the stage. We came to a stop in front of it. _

"_Wow! It's all so beautiful."_

_I nodded in agreement. Okay, this is it Cullen! Ask her to dance. Just a simple sentence._

…

_Just one simple sentence, come on! _

_I fidgeted in my spot trying to open my mouth but I was so nervous. "Uuh…" Oh good job!_

"_What?" Bella asked. "Uuh… would you uh…" oh crap! Just spit it out!_

"_Would, would I what?" she asked. _

_Come on, come on! Just say it already! "Would you uh… Would you like me to throw this for you?!" I said quickly, taking the almost empty cup from her hands. Drats! I choked! I can't believe I choked!_

_She gave me a confused look. "O-Oh… sure thanks." Her voice dropped. I sprinted to the nearest trashcan, which was all around the stage and kicked a block of ice. WHY!? Why didn't I ask her? God!_

_I was silently beating myself on the inside as I walked back around the stage to Bella but my spirits dropped all the way when I saw her talking to someone. That's… Laurent Ravenwood. He just transferred to our school in the middle of the semester from London. They turned to me as soon as they heard me coming. _

"_Hello, Edward." He smiled. _

"_Hey, Laurent. What- what are you doing here?" _

_He glanced at Bella. "I hope you don't mind but I just asked Bella to dance." My body tensed up. "But she insisted on waiting for you." Bella looked at me nervously. "Is… is it okay, Ed? Do you mind?" _

_I shook my head quickly, trying to muster up the cheeriest voice possible. "No, not at all. You guys go ahead. Uhm, give me a call Bella." And without another word, I turned away feeling like I'd just lost my puppy. I should've asked her…_

_I didn't really leave the stage. I stood beside a food stand pretending to mind my own business as I spied on them. They danced to the music of "The Christmas Song" as I wallowed in my own misery wishing that I was the one who had my arms against Bella on the dance floor. _

_I noticed Laurent saying something to Bella and she looked down with a big smile in her face. She's enjoying this! She's actually blushing right now. It made me feel even more miserable. _

_As the song was nearing an end, I felt a little more relieved since they'd stop dancing soon but what I saw next scarred my heart forever. _

_Laurent leaned in for a kiss and that was it. _

_Bella's first kiss. _

_It tore me apart. I wanted to be her first kiss. I wanted to be her first 'everything'._

_My head dropped and I clutched at my chest. _

_I should've asked her to dance…_

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

"Jazz, I think something's up with him."

"And you're just registering the fact? He's been staring into space ever since he arrived."

"Hey Eeeed!... nope nothing still."

"I can just imagine a black hole in the background behind him. Well, there's probably only one reason why he's like this."

"What?"

"Duh! Something must have happened with Bella."

_Bella…Bella…Bella…_

I burrowed my head in my arms in the kitchen table. "Hey he moved!"

"Shut up, Emmet." I groaned. "Come on, man. Did something happen? You look like you just lost your puppy."

"Thanks for noticing, Jazz." Then I felt two arms circle around mine, pulling me out of the table. "Hey! What are you guys doing!?" They dragged me up the stairs. "Only twenty minutes until the party starts and you're not even dressed yet. As Alice's boyfriend, I am complied to do this."

I blinked. "What? Twenty minutes? Didn't I just get here from the grocery store?" comply

"No, dude. That was about an hour ago."

"Okay okay, let go of me! I can manage at this point." I rushed inside my room and into my bathroom, changing into the clothes for tonight. Once I stepped out of my bathroom, fully dressed, there sat Emmet and Jasper waiting for me to say something.

I threw my hands in the air. "Nothing happened for God's sake." _Nothing damn happened!_

"With you acting like that, I'm pretty sure that something did happen." Said Emmet.

"Oh come on, guys. What are we? Girls? Kissing and telling…" Their eyes widened and it was then that I noticed my slip. "YOU KISSED BELLA???" They both yelled at the same time. _Oh shit!_

"NO! It's not what you think! Oh crap! Keep your voices down will you. There's a deaf grandmother next door who I'm sure didn't hear you very much!" I sighed. "We… we didn't kiss."

"Then what 'did' happen?" urged Jasper.

I unbuttoned my collar. "I… I just thought we were about to- Oh damn… we were 'this' close." I exasperated, bringing half an inch between my thumb and index finger.

"Why in the world were you guys 'this' close together?" Emmet air quoted.

"Okay fine! I gave her the birthday present and we had just woken up by then. When she opened it, she cried a little bit and I thought she didn't like it but then she hugged me and said that it was the best present in the world," I breathed, "and then I felt really good cause she liked the present and I put a lot of thought into it, I mean I even engraved it with the Pooh quotation and our initials! When we pulled away, our heads were so close and… and we were just staring each other! I mean, seriously it was like a staring game for more than five seconds and for the love of everything that's holy, we were so close, I even felt her breath on me!!! I was about to lean in until 'your' girlfriend," I pointed at Jasper, "came in and ruined the moment." I took a deep breath. "And now I have a bump in my head…"

Feeling emotionally deprived, I scrambled to the swivel chair in front of my computer and laid my head back.

"Hold it, Edward, are you telling us that you and Bella actually had 'a moment'?" asked Jasper. I rubbed my forehead. "It seems like that doesn't it?"

"What do you mean? You said you guys had some kind of a staring game or something."

"I thought we had a moment but when Alice walked in and we pulled apart, she acted like nothing even happened. I mean, for her it really did seem like nothing even happened! She talked in a 'normal' manner with no weird sounds whatsoever while I acted all nervous and blockheaded!"

Emmet and Jasper stared at each other. "What?" I asked them.

"Nothing. Just ah… " Said Emmet. "I know." I replied, hating this. I was fussing over nothing!

"Edward, man, listen." Jasper started. "Uuuhh…"

"What? Guys tell me what to do. Please!"

Jasper and Emmet shrugged nonchalantly. "Tell her how you feel." Jasper said, as if it were the simplest thing in the world.

"I agree!" Emmet continued with a smile on his face.

I stared at them, dumbfounded. "What? Did you guys grow two heads or something? Didn't you both hear a word of what I just-"

Cheerful voices sounded from downstairs and my friends turned to me. "Sounds like the party is starting. We better get down there, man."

With each passing second as we walked down the stairs, my heart throbbed in my chest…

But every bad feeling in me disappeared after I saw Bella. The cheers we heard from upstairs were not because of everyone arriving; it was because of 'her' arriving. Everyone surrounded her, giving her hugs and saying how glad they are that she's well back on her feet.

She wore a white sweater dress with knee-high brown boots and her hair was fixed up into a half-pony tail bun. The rest of her hair fell in soft curls down her back. She never fails to take my breath away.

I felt Emmet and Jasper run past me and go to their significant others. They met each other with a kiss. Alice and Rosalie were wearing sweater dresses as well, only in different styles.

I noticed Bella scanning her head through the people in the hallway. _Is she looking for me?_

She caught sight of me once I reached the bottom of the steps. It seemed like she waited a few seconds for our visitors to head to the kitchen before she walked up to me. The smile in her face almost seemed… nervous. It made me curious.

We met each other halfway but didn't say anything. Is it just me or does this seem very unusual?

"Hey." She smiled at me. "You look great."

I gave a lopsided smile. "You look beautiful." And, cue the blush! She turned her head to the side and bit her lip. It was then that I noticed her hair… the snowflake clip!

My spirits suddenly heightened and I chuckled happily. "You're wearing it!"

"Of course I am. Remember I told you I'd wear it every Christmas." I nodded in reply, smiling as I did. "But it's not even Christmas yet."

She shrugged with a smile. "It will be soon."

Just like that, it felt like all me nervousness melted away. The look I gave her was that of loving. I don't know how she does it, but she always makes me feel better without her even realizing it.

_I can do this._ I held out my hand for her and she took it with no hesitation.

We enjoyed the rest of the night together. All the families of our friends were here so the house was completely packed. Little brothers and sisters ran around the rooms and hallways of the house and our parents settled in the dinning room and living room, lots of chit chatter all around. Bella and I were always around our friends and of course, we never left the food table! The food this year was excellent! Bella was ecstatic and beaming the entire time…it made me happy.

A little surprise came for us, however. Imagine the look on Bella's face when she and I answered the doorbell and found Nurse Susan waiting in the porch. Charlie asked her out! And he kept it a secret! Bella didn't hesitate to let her in and lead her in the living room to her father who was blushing as I have never seen him before! You'd think that this would be awkward with Renee in the room, but it wasn't at all. In fact, it seemed like they got along very well. Bella turned all chirpy to me saying that she's so glad to finally see her father with a date! I just laughed along with her.

In the middle of the party, my mother asked me to play Christmas Songs on the piano and suggested that Bella play the guitar along with me. How could I say no to that? Everyone gathered to the music room and watched and sang along as Bella and I played some popular Christmas Carols. Some people find the piano-guitar duets to be unusual, but Bella and I had practiced for years on how to combine our music. She sat next to me on the piano bench. It felt so good to be able to play with her again! I smiled the entire time, especially when I heard her singing along. People rarely hear Bella's singing. The ones that do are one of the luckiest in the world. Her voice is just beautiful!

The rest of the night was pretty much enjoyable.

Only fifteen minutes were left in the clock before midnight came. Almost everyone gathered around the living room for the Christmas Tree lighting by that time... but I couldn't find Bella.

"Hey Alice!" I called out to her as she passed me on the hallway to the living room. "Yup?"

"Where's Bella? I can't find her."

"Hmm, I think I saw her out in the backyard."

"What? But it's cold out. What's she doing there?" I turned opposite the living room.

"I don't know!" I heard her call back to me, as I made my way to the kitchen. I took a peek over the sink window and there she was, just like Alice said.

…

**Bella's POV**

"Rose, where are we going?" Without a word, Rosalie dragged me out of the living room and into the backyard porch. I expected the cold to suddenly seep in, but the patio heaters did their job well.

"I just need to talk to you, that's all." She let go of my hand and sat on the porch papasan chair, tapping the side beside her for me to sit. I stared at the chair for a moment, adoring it. It's been five months since I've sat in that thing. I happily complied and sat down beside her. "Okay, so what's this about?"

"Duh, what do you think? It's about you, Edward and 'your moment' a little earlier."

I sighed. "Rose, please… haven't we talked about this enough in my room?" God! I was so stupid! Why did I even think about kissing him? The way we greeted each other when I came here was nothing short of unusual. He stared at me so awkwardly; it felt like the most atypical thing in the world! After I showed him my snowflake clip, we had managed to make each other comfortable again but, I wonder if he's thinking about what happened earlier. Does he think that it was just a random spur? Or does he think of it as something else?

I looked down, feeling the pieces of my heart break off. "He doesn't want me, Rose. The look on his face proved enough."

A smack landed at the side of my head and I stared at her in disbelief. "Ow! What was that for?"

"For jumping to conclusions!" She raised her finger at me. "There'll be no talking like that, Isabella!"

"Okay, okay, no need to get physical about it." I rubbed the spot on my head.

"For all you know he may have the same feelings for you too! That could be the reason why he acted nervous."

It was possible. But what are the chances of my best friend ever having romantic feelings for me? I was so surprised by the way how I acted after Alice walked in on us. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I guess I wanted to portray that 'the moment' didn't happen. I spoke so normally but on the inside it was like a hammer was hitting me in the chest.

It was just 'my' moment anyway… right?

Rosalie sighed next to me. "Oh… don't make the sad look. Really, it's making me feel blue."

I chuckled a bit. "Sorry. I just don't know what to do, that's all." My heart raced just by thinking of how close we were. The feel of his breath on mine, the way we stared at each other… At that point, it all seemed like a dream.

"Bella, why are you so afraid to tell him?"

"You know the reason why."

"Because you're afraid of losing him?" I nodded. "Oh Bella, Bella, Bella…" Rosalie shook her head.

"What?" I stared at her.

She turned to me and gave a serious look. "You have to tell him. Soon if you can." I shook my head, "Rose, I-…"

"No no! Just hear me out. Uhm… okay, I know this is sort of immature for me to say but I'm gonna say it anyway! Edward is still hung up on the fact that he almost lost you. Now he's even more vulnerable to the feeling of losing you… so if you tell him 'now' or anytime soon how you feel, he wouldn't run away because he's still 'hung up' and he wouldn't want to lose you anytime soon… Uhm, am I making any sense?"

I blinked. "Uh, I think I got the gist of it. But that's just mean, Rose. I won't take advantage of Edward's feelings that way." Certainly not!

"But what if he answers you back?!"

"What if he doesn't?"

The look on Rosalie's face confused me. It was like a mix of frustration and puppy dog eyes. She just let out an irritated groan rested her chin at the palm of her hand. I almost laughed at her childishness.

"Rose… Edward is the most important person to me." I said softly and sincerely. "He's my person, my… my rock, my everything. If I lose him or… if anything changes between us for the worst, I wouldn't know what to do. I'd rather live my days watching him get married and have children with another love… than to live without him completely." My words were like a knife to the heart but I meant it. It hurts to talk or even think about it. I can't bear the thought of Edward loving another woman. When that day comes… what will I do?

Tears fell out of my eyes as I took a deep breath._ Do_ _I always have to cry!? Why has this week been full of tears for me!?_

I wiped them away casually and Rosalie gave me a soft look. She scooted closer to me and took me in a soft hug. "Let me tell you this, Bella. No woman in the world is better suited for Edward than you. Every other woman would be the fallen sprinkles from a banana split, and you would be the pretty red cherry on top!"

Leave it to Rose to give you humor in metaphors. I chuckled and took a deep breath. "Rose… can we just… not talk about this right now? This is like the fifth time I've cried this week and that's a world record for me."

Rosalie gave a sound of amusement. "No problem."

_Riing… Riing…_

Rose checked her phone screen. "Oh, it's my grandparents. I have to take this with Lily and Henry." I nodded and she stood up. "Oh, and Bella…" she smirked, her hand resting on the door screen, "just as someone who's known both you and Edward since Kindergarten, if there's one thing I know, it's this… Edward will never leave you. No matter what happens." And with that, she stepped inside.

Pondering over her words, I sighed in my seat. How can she be so sure? If only I have half as much of Rose's confidence.

_Edward will never leave you. No matter what happens._

I stared at the backyard.

Everything was white and the snow was still falling. The only light I had was from the two patio heaters standing at the middle of the porch. Playing with the see-through canopy of the chair, I closed it in front of me so I was completely surrounded. For some reason from just closing it, I felt invisible. Closed from the world and all that.

Maybe that's just what I need right now.

I stared at the hands on my knees. A little scar was now situated on the right side of my left palm. It was hardly noticeable but every time I see it I'm reminded of the five months I've lost. It all seems so surreal.

Closing my eyes, I thought back to the time of spring and summer. The days of sun. I imagined Edward and me playing in the backyard, dipping in the pool, heading to our meadow and all the other countless memorable things.

Like that one summer where Winnie the Pooh was distinctly involved in our conversation…

Opening my eyes, a small movie played out in front of me. Edward and I running around the garden when we were kids, with all the flowers in bloom. I could even hear our laughter as I watched our little selves. His hair used to be so curly and red, and I had my corkscrew curls up in pig tails back then. From all the times I'd trip and fall, he's always there to bring me back up.

…

**16yearsold16yearsold16yearsold…**

"_Thank you very much for babysitting Bella! You're an angel!" _

_I blushed. Rosalie's mom had called in early this morning to ask if I could babysit until noon on short notice since Rosalie was out for the weekend. Of course, I agreed and made an easy thirty bucks!_

"_Not at all, Mrs. Hale. It was no trouble, really. Henry and Lilly give me no problems whatsoever."_

_She chuckled. "Well, I'm glad. Are you sure you don't want me to drive you home?"_

_I shook my head. "No, I'm fine. I'm very fond of walking in this weather."_

_Mrs. Hale thanked me again and I proceeded out the gate and into the sunshine. Rosalie's house was only four blocks away from mine so it was no problem. In fact, I even walked slowly. No rush at all. _

_Once I closed my eyes to enjoy the feel of the sun, memories of what happened last week came flooding back. I shivered, not knowing if it was from fear or bliss. _

_Around twenty minutes later, Edward's house stood in front of me. He was still grounded today so he couldn't go out. It was just last week when he had that fist fight in school. He was supposed to be grounded for a month but after he explained what really happened to his parents, his days were cut in half. Of course, I was there for moral support._

_Before I knew it, I was climbing up their tree and hopping on to the roof. A few more steps forward, third window to the right… then his body appeared through the window, catching me completely off guard!_

_He flashed me a brilliant smile and my heart leaped. "I thought that was you." He said. I was silently thinking of unpleasant things so I wouldn't blush in front of him._

_Smiling, I walked forward carefully and kneeled in front of his window sill. "Howsit going? Bored yet?" I teased and took the moment to observe him today. He wore board shorts and a white tee. His hair was in its plain disheveled manner and he walked barefooted in his room. The sight was enough to turn me on. Stupid teen hormones!!!_

"_Bored is an understatement." He groaned and stepped back, expecting me to come in. "Aren't you coming in?" _

_I glanced up at the sun and shook my head. "Why waste a nice day out in the sun?" _

"_You're not just going to sit there are you?" his brow raised. I just gave him a smile and sat on my butt in front of the window. The level of the roof on this spot wasn't steep so it was safe to sit in. Edward on the other hand thought of it differently. "Bella, you might fall." _

"_I will not. You sit here yourself sometimes." _

_He groaned. "Bellaa…"_

_I chuckled again and turned my head around. "I won't fall. Relax. Come on, pull up a chair and sit with me. It's a nice day." I expected him to grumble but to my surprise, he climbed out the window and sat next to me on the roof. "Uh, I meant pull up a chair in your room and sit by the window." _

_He dusted off his hands and bent his knees in front of him. "Why? This is spot is much better and technically, I'm not breaking the rules of leaving the house. Careful, there's a slippery patch on your left." _

_I nudged him on the arm. "You worry too much, Ed."_

_He sighed, looking elsewhere. "I know." _

_Butterflies swiveled in my chest. He really does worry too much about me, and he's even not afraid to admit it. I took notice of his cheek. The bruise was barely there anymore and the gash was almost completely healed. I'm always amazed at how fast Edward seems to heal and I'm relieved to say that James Rogers didn't bother with Edward anymore. I hated that guy with even more passion now. Rumors spread through the school but Edward and I chose to ignore it… even though Edward is known as a 'hero' now. I just smirked at the thought. On the inside, I knew that Edward was pretty proud of it. _

"_Does it still hurt?" I asked. "What is?" _

_I pointed to his cheek. "Oh. That." He shook his head. "Not really. But if you poke it real hard like what Emmet did yesterday then yes." _

_I laughed. "Emmet's such a goof." _

"_Now that is another understatement. So, what did you do this morning?"_

"_Oh, a lot actually. I opened my eyes, got out of, bed, headed to the bathroom, brushed my teeth-"_

"_Besides the usual…" Edward chuckled. I smiled and pointed to the north side of the village. "Mrs. Hale asked me to babysit Henry and Lillian."_

"_Oh." He nodded. "That's nice. What did you guys do?"_

"_We played hide and seek and watched Winnie the Pooh on DVD."_

"_And?" he stared at me. "You have that look. Something good must have happened." He always reads me so easily. He may as well read my mind but the thought of him finding out my true feelings made my heart want to stop beating. "Come on, tell me. You know you want to." He used his teasing voice. _

_I bit my lip and nudged him again. "Alright, alright. I was going to tell you anyway." _

_He kept his eyes on me and waited. Unfortunately, just the fact that he's staring right at me was enough to make me feel nervous. I groaned to myself. How can my feelings feel so frustrating and amazing at the same time? It's like an inner battle was going on in my chest and it made me want to scream out that I loved him! _

_I was in dangerous territory. Will there ever be a time to tell him? I want so badly to tell him. I wanted to end the frustration of not acting how I really 'really' want to act in front of him._

_But… at this point, my fear deemed to be greater. _

"_Bella?" his voice brought me out of my thoughts. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." _

_Alright. I don't have to tell him anything now. Maybe in the future or… _my heart ached_… I don't know. _

"_No, I want to tell you." I replied, trying to get rid of the negative emotions. "So, Winnie the Pooh." I smiled widely. "There was this one scene with Pooh and Christopher Robin and… for some reason it really stuck to me," as I recalled the lines, I remember thinking about Edward when I first heard it earlier. "Pooh told him, 'If you live to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.' "_

_We paused for a second. As I glanced at him at the corner of my eye, I noticed the lazy smile he had on his face. "That's a nice quote." He replied. I nodded. _

_Can I ever tell you how I feel, Edward?_

_I turned to him. "Edward?" our eyes locked. Maybe… maybe I can warm him up to the idea or silently give him clues? _

"_What is it, Bells?" _

_I opened my mouth to say something… anything, but only silent words came out. Disappointment sank into me. Maybe it's just not the time. _

_Sighing, I looked up at him again and smiled. "If 'you' ever live to be a hundred, I hope I live to be a hundred minus one day… so I never have to live without you." _

_His eyes widened slightly and I couldn't make out the look on his face. _

_For what it's worth, I felt my face heat up and I'm sure he noticed. I looked down shyly and hugged my knees to my chest. Then after a few seconds, I felt his arm wrap around my shoulders. _

"_Hmm… I guess we'll just have to die together then, Bells." I stared up at him with wide eyes. He smirked and brought his head down closer to me, I almost gasped. "Because there is no way I would ever live a day without you." _

_At that point, my heart soared so high, I could scream at the intensity of it. Goosebumps appeared on my skin as I stared my best friend's emerald green eyes. I look at him so differently now. Long before, I used to see him as my airheaded and foolish best friend who'd always make fun of me… but now, I see him as the man I've fallen so deeply in love with. _

_Edward… I want to tell you so bad._

_I'm so sorry I don't have the courage. _

_My love for him grew stronger every single day… and all I could do was smile. _

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

"What are you doing here?"

I gasped as I jumped out of my thoughts. Edward stood at my left, peering through the canopy which I was in. He gave me his crooked smile. "Did I scare you?"

I scoffed humorously. "I think you did."

"It's cold, Bella." He opened the canopy with one hand and stepped inside, closing it again behind him. It was then that I noticed my coat in his hands. He threw it over my shoulders without a word. I suddenly felt all warm inside, and it was not because of the coat. "Thanks." I smiled. "Sit with me." I tapped the spot to my right. The chair we were sitting on was shaped like a nest so when he sat down, it was a little bit of a tight but comfortable fit.

It's weird that I feel even more nervous around him now.

We said nothing for a short while. The only music we had was from the speakers inside the house that played mellow Christmas songs.

"I miss seeing you here you know." He said. I gave him a confused look. "'Here' in this chair." He chuckled.

My heart warmed. "Oh." _Come on, Bella! Say something… anything!_ I searched my mind for anything we could talk about but I drew out a blank. Why can't I think of anything? This is Edward here! Your best friend! You're never ashamed to tell him anything!

_You can't say anything because all you want to do is 'tell' him!_

Mentally slapping myself in the face, I forced out the voice of reason. It was always there to taunt me. Just when I was about to say some silly question or rant… Edward started humming. I stared at him and he had his eyes closed. He followed the song we were hearing from the inside. After his humming, he opened his eyes and started to sing.

"I promise you…I'll be home for Christmas, you can count on me…please have snow and mistletoe and presents under the tree…"

His voice was always so gentle. My whole body ran up in shivers just listening to him.

"Christmas Eve will find you, where the love light gleams… I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams…"

Smiling widely, I gently hooked my arm around his and leaned my body closer. I looked out on the snowy garden in front of us and started to sing myself. "Christmas Eve will find me, where the love light gleams..."

For the last words, we sang together, "I'll be home for Christmas, if only in my dreams…"

It was perfect.

"I'm glad you're here, Bella."

I turned to him then. He was looking down but a soft smile was on his face. "I didn't think you'd be here for Christmas…" he turned his head to me and gave me 'that' look again… the same look he gave me after I showed him my hairclip.

'That' look always makes my heart skip a beat.

He entwined my fingers with his and warmth spread through. "But you are."

My breath hitched, knowing exactly what he meant. Nobody knew if I would wake up anytime soon, but I'm here now. Another Christmas spent with the people I love. There are just so many things I could be thankful for right now.

Removing my fingers from his, I turned my body full sideways and took him in a firm hug, which he returned. I leaned closer to his ear. "I'm glad too, Edward."

I felt him hug me a little tighter and then I lost my balance. We weren't leaning back to anything so we both had to fall backwards on the throw pillows, small sounds of surprise escaping our mouths. We chuckled then as we lay together in the chair.

As we pulled away, we didn't even bother to sit back up. I lay my head on his shoulder and he laid his on the top of mine.

The atmosphere felt perfect. The snow falling down, the patio heaters on the side and laying down next to the man I love, surrounded by a canopy. It felt like we were the only two people in the world at that moment.

It felt so wonderful just lying next to him.

There's no other place I'd rather be than here in Edward's arms.

…

**Edward's POV**

A lazy smile plastered on my face as I lay my head on top of Bella's. We were snuggled up in the old papasan chair and there was no other place I'd rather be than right here.

Then without expecting it, the Christmas lights in the backyard lit up, all up to the garden gazebo in the middle. The entire place was filled up with them and it's amazing that we could see them amidst the snow.

"Whoa!" Bella and I exclaimed at the same time.

She chuckled next to me. "You didn't expect that?" I shook my head. "No, I didn't know Mom hooked up the lights this year."

When lights appeared above the canopy, it made us look up. My eyes widened.

_Crap!_

I almost gasped. I most definitely did NOT expect this!

A little something was hanging down the top of the canopy and it was directly above the both of us. I heard Bella gasp next to me. "Is that…"

"Mistletoe." I finished for her.

We met each other halfway when I dared myself to glance at her. The expression in her eyes looked to be the same as mine. Uneasy…

We don't have to… no matter how much I want it (_hell, I want it more than anything right now!),_ I wouldn't do it if she wasn't comfortable.

"Uhm," I gulped. "We… we don't have to uh, do it…"

"Y-yeah…" she nodded her head quickly.

"Cause uh, I mean… it's just" I shrugged, "silly Christmas tradition and uh… all." My voice was nothing short of high-pitched.

"Yeah, it's just uh, silly Christmas tradition and stuff…" her voice seemed to be a little high-pitched as well.

I nodded in agreement quickly and gave a fake snigger. _What kind of sound was that!?_

My head laid back down the chair as I sighed. The mistletoe was still up there… taunting me. I pursed my lips.

"Unless…"

_Huh?_

My heart jumped as I turned to look at Bella, my mouth slightly agape. She bit her bottom lip; a nervous habit of hers. "Unless it's okay with you. I mean… it's still tradition and everything. It's… it's not like it's a big deal and all." She shrugged, glancing at me. "R-right?"

I snapped out of my reverie and nodded quickly. "Right! It's tradition!" I chuckled, crossing my arms on my chest. "We have to- to do it."

Leaning up on our elbows, we faced each other. My heart drummed wildly in my chest.

_I can't believe I'm about to kiss her…_

She shrugged again. "It's… it's just a kiss."

I nodded but my eyes were already fixed on her lips. "Right…just a kiss." I whispered.

Our heads leaned in closer ever so slowly. _Slowly… _I didn't think I could take looking into her eyes so I kept them on her lips. They were slightly parted. At the point that I could already feel her breath on mine, memories of what happened earlier came rushing back. We were so close, and we're in the same position again tonight.

My eyes closed as our noses touched… and then…

"FIVE!!!"

We jumped in surprise and my eyes snapped open.

"FOUR!!!"

_What the?_

"THREE!!!"

We weren't close anymore.

"TWO!!!"

Bella looked down and I couldn't believe what just happened. The drumming of my heart stopped completely.

"ONE!!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!" Loud cheers resounded from inside the house.

_Not again… not when we were this close._

I tried hiding my sheer frustration by gripping my jacket until my knuckles went white. The voice inside me was telling me to just kiss her but the moment was over.

"Edward?" she whispered. I looked at her, trying to hide the look of disappointment on my face. She leaned in and kissed the area at the side of my lips. Normally it'd make my heart melt but at the state I was in, it only left a small spark. It wasn't enough but I had to hide my grief. I forced out a smile.

"Merry Christmas." She smiled softly.

"Merry Christmas, Bella."

With a heavy sigh, I sat up from the chair and offered her my hand. "We better get in there."

"Yeah." She took it and I helped her up.

"AAH-Phhftt…"

We whipped our head around. "What was that?" Bella asked.

I glanced around one more time. "I don't know." We stared at each other in confusion for a short moment before just silently shrugging it off.

**……………**

**~Nobody's POV~**

"AAH-Phhftt…"

Jasper, Emmet and Rosalie covered Alice's mouth immediately after her attempted scream and dashed themselves out of the kitchen in a quick haste!

"Over here!" whispered Rosalie, opening the doors to the empty music room, which was directly in front of the living room. As they threw themselves in, Rose locked the door behind her and breathed out.

With a growl, Alice escaped out of Jasper and Emmet's arms and stomped her feet like a kid on the floor. "WHY!!!" she yelled!

"Alice, sweetie, calm down now." Leave it to Jasper to try and calm down the group but at the suspense of what just happened… it was a little too much. They had been watching Edward and Bella from the kitchen window all this time.

"They were this fucking close!" Emmet showed the tiniest space between his thumb and forefinger. Rosalie groaned. "I guess the 'dragging the happy couple out in the backyard and hooking the mistletoe and Christmas lights on the canopy' plan didn't work."

"It actually did work, Rose." Jasper replied. "Our families in the next room just couldn't contain their excitement."

"Why! Why did they have to countdown to Christmas!? This isn't New Years!!!" shrieked Alice.

Rosalie sat on the piano bench. "What are we going to do now? For all we know they could act more awkward toward each other for the rest of the holidays."

"Depends. How convincing were you to Bella earlier?" asked Emmet as he sat next to her. Rosalie threw her hands in the air. "I did the best I can but she's still afraid to tell him. Both of them are just reading their signals ALL WRONG!!"

Jasper walked forward to the door and unlocked it. "What are you doing?" asked Alice, standing next to him. He opened the door in it's slightest. "They're about to walk this way. I just want to see how they're acting."

At the next second, all four of them were peeking through the little slit on the door. As expected, Edward and Bella walked past them and into the living room. They weren't holding hands. In fact, it looked like there was a little distance between them. They weren't even looking at each other. Bella was playing with the sleeves of her jacket while Edward picked out invisible lint on his shirt.

Jasper closed the door gently and they all groaned down at the floor. "Damn it."

"That's IT!!!" Emmet guffawed, standing from the floor. "I'm getting in there!! I'm just damn telling them!"

They restrained Emmet. "NO!!!" realizing the noise they just made, they laid low. Emmet scratched his head. "Uh, this room is sound proof right?"

Noticing their little mishap, they nodded. "Oh yeah…right."

"I want to tell them too, Em but Edward and Bella have gone this far! They have to find out themselves." Rosalie reasoned out.

"Damn right!" said Alice, standing up from her spot. "And it has gone LONG enough! I swear to God! Those two are going to tell each other how they feel before the morning comes IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!!!"

"Uh… but it's already morning Alice…" Emmet raised a finger, which was probably a wrong idea. Alice sent him a dead glare. "Oh you all know what I mean! Rose! You come with me! Jazzy, Em! Both of you make sure that no one would go to the Swan's house in at least thirty minutes! Now… where's the rest of the mistletoe?"

**... … … … …**

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**:) You know I actually listened to Christmas Songs when I wrote this! Haha! Just to get in the mood and all :)**

**And of course, the song they sang was "I'll be Home for Christmas" the versions I listened to were by Josh Groban and another by Rascal Flatts!**

**PICTURES of the girls Outfits, the Winnie the Pooh Snowglobe and the Snowflake clip are now Finally on my PROFILE!! :D :D Check it out! :D**

**Don't worry! The kiss will come!!! Please don't kill me... or... I'm probably dead right now with all of your glares :)) **

**Want me to update faster? Please inspire me by Reviewing :D haha! LOVE YOU ALL!!! **

**You know the drill!**

**REVIEW if you want a SNEAK PEAK!**


	15. Five Mistletoes equals Five Kisses

**I know I know I know I know!**

**Please don't get mad! I'm so sorry for the latest update ever but you know how reality takes over.**

**Anyway, I won't delay you any longer… **

**Please…Enjoy! :D and read the Author's Note down below :D**

**BTW.. this is un-edited.. sorry! :D**

**Here goes…**

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**Chapter 15: Five Mistletoes equals Five Kisses**

**Edward's POV**

_This has gone way beyond embarrassment!_

Emmett had his arms draped around mine and Bella's shoulders. Without even looking at Bella's face, I knew that she was as red as a cherry. Hell, even I was blushing at this point! Jasper stood next to my Aunt Izzie and Susan Hope, laughing along with them and the buffoon right between my best friend and me. We were 'sharing' childhood memories… or more like just the embarrassing childhood memories of Bella and I.

And it was just minutes after midnight! Everyone was having their last bottle of wine before leaving tonight. Our parents having their chit-chatter in the living room while the kids passed out on the couch, exhausted from all the excitement and from running around the house.

Susan covered her mouth in laughter. "I never knew the both of you were so amusing!" 'Both' meaning Bella and I. We wanted to stop this but Aunt Izzie insisted on hearing them along with Nurse Susan.

Jasper laughed. "Yeah! There are a lot of things these two did in the crazy days!"

"Oh! Jazz! Tell them about the College Acceptance thing!" Emmett laughed. I glared at him. "Is that really necessary?"

"Oh don't be such a party pooper, Edward! You know how much I love hearing stories about the both of you!" said Aunt Izzie. I gawked at her. _Party pooper?_

Jasper beamed. "Oh yeah! Yeah! That's a good one! You see our little Bella here..." Jasper walked next to a blushing Bella. "is known never to be violent! But there was this one summer day where our boy, Edward here…" Jasper walked to me, "got finger stains all over Bella's beloved Dorian Grey."

"Just to classify, Dorian Grey was a book! Not a man!" I pointed out.

"It was still one of my favorite books!" Bella argued.

Emmett patted our shoulders. "Obviously there are still some hidden grudges! Sooo, I guess you know the story. Bella pushed Edward into the pool and well-"

Susan and Aunt Izzie equally gave amused gasps, and Bella blushed all the more. They laughed. "I never you had it in you, Isabella! I'm proud of you." said Aunt Izzie. My aunt has made a point to call Bella by her whole first name ever since they first met several years ago.

"Just for getting finger stains over a book, you pushed your friend into the pool?" chuckled Susan.

"Oh but wait! There's more…" Jasper quirked in. "Earlier this year when Edward got his College Acceptance letter, Bella thought it would be funny to 'pretend' that he didn't get accepted."

"And that was a cruel joke." I looked elsewhere and heard Bella scoff next to me.

"You used to do that to me all the time."

"So basically yeah, you know the rest of the story. Edward here found out and he hitched Bella up onto his shoulder and threw her butt first into the pool!" Emmett smiled.

Aunt Izzie and Susan laughed at this as Bella and I elbowed him on the stomach. He backed away with a soft 'Oof!'

"Uh, why are you guys doing this again?" asked Bella in a firm voice. Emmett shrugged in reply. "Cause it's fun?"

I crossed my arms. "It stopped being fun twenty minutes ago."

Susan came up front. "You know I think it's just the sweetest thing, how close the both of you are."

I scratched the back of my neck in embarrassment. "Well… uh, yeah, we uh, we're you know…"

Bella sniggered next to me. "Yeah, uhm… it's just we're just, uh,"

Emmett laughed. "Sweet indeed! You know these two text each other goodnight every single day?"

I am officially going to kill him! So what if we text each other goodnight everyday? It was a… thing between us.

"Aaand, they have a rule to hang out every Friday!"

Jasper too! They're both dead!

"Oh! Oh!" Emmett raised his hand like a happy kid in a classroom. "They even sleep together!"

"EMMETT!!!"

**……………**

"Wonder what's gotten into Em and Jazz?" I asked as I handed Bella her cup of tea before sitting down beside her at the bottom of the stairs with my own. We would've preferred hot chocolate but herbal tea is what's best for Bella in her current condition.

She chuckled. "No idea! Maybe we could get them back by telling 'their' embarrassing stories to Alice and Rose's folks."

My eyebrows rose. "Hmm, that's not a bad idea. New Years sound good?" We definitely had to get them back especially after that 'sleeping' comment. They almost gave Susan and my Aunt Izzie the wrong idea! I swear to God, my face was almost as red as Bella's. Although I had to admit that it does seem pretty surreal for Bella and me to still feel comfortable sleeping on the same bed even though we weren't five years old anymore.

"I was just about to suggest it." She grinned mischievously.

Honestly, my relationship with Bella is unlike any other. You can't even tell that we'd been 'this' close to kissing only moments ago. It made me want to tear my hair out in frustration every time I thought of it. Moreover, not knowing what she is thinking right now made me wish that I could read minds. I'd give anything to get inside her head! She was the one who said 'unless' after I said that we didn't have to do it!

…_Wait a minute._

_Does that mean that she actually 'wanted' to kiss me?_

…

Unfortunately, all rational thoughts flew out of my head as the front door swung open revealing a panting Alice and Rosalie taking off their winter jackets. Bella and I gave them a peculiar look. Our foyer was quite long so they didn't notice us sitting at the bottom of the stairs immediately.

"Where have you guys been?" Bella asked, looking at her wrist watch.

"Yeah, come to think of it, we haven't seen you two since midnight." It has been almost forty minutes since then.

Strangely wide-eyed, Alice and Rosalie looked at each other. "Uuhm…" Alice started, still shrugging off her jacket.

"We uh, went to get… uh," Rosalie reached the bottom of her pockets. "Oh! We went to get Lily's inhaler!" she raised in the air like a prize. "Yup! Here it is!" she chuckled along with Alice.

"Inhalers are all important, right?!" chirped Alice as they made strutted their way toward us.

I quirked a brow. "This late? Couldn't you have waited 'till you got home?"

Bella glanced at the living room. "Yeah, the kids have been drop dead on the sofa before midnight even came."

"Oh, we can never be too careful, Bells!" Rosalie winked at her before marching to the kitchen where Jasper and Emmet were now situated. Alice skipped along with her before we even got a chance to ask any more questions.

Bella and I just shrugged it off. It wasn't the first time our friends have been acting odd. Jasper and Emmet certainly proved it enough a few minutes earlier. We continued to sit at the bottom of the stairs, blowing on our cup of teas and taking little sips in comfortable silence. Just as we finished drinking, people started to pool the foyer of our home, putting on their coats and getting ready to leave.

The Christmas Eve party has now come to a close.

Hugs, kisses, and greetings here and there, it was the usual way to end a good night. Emmet had his hands full carrying his two younger sisters whereas Jasper and Rose carried Henry and Lillian. I watched as Alice and Bella hugged each other goodnight while I chatted with my Aunt Izzie. They were talking about something, I could see. Alice went up on her tippy toes and whispered a few words into Bella's ear that made her blush.

What are they talking about?

"Edward Anthony!"

I turned back to my Aunt Izzie in an instant who was looking at me with a smirk and a quirked brow. "Yeah?" I asked insensibly.

She hit me lightly on the forehead. "Ow!" I guess I should have expected that. "Did you not hear a word I said, boy?" I rubbed my forehead as she looked toward the direction I was facing just a moment ago. Once she saw the source of my distraction, she chuckled and patted me on the back. "You know your staring games will only get worse if you don't get 'this' over with."

My Aunt's words brought back two recent memories that occurred only hours ago. _We were 'this' close!_ I stared at Bella and sighed dejectedly. _Tell me about it._

Aunt Izzie rubbed my back. "Don't worry, boy. It'll happen. Just be patient." She nudged me playfully.

I smiled weakly and looked down at her. "And how would you know, Aunt Izzie?"

She chuckled amusedly. "Because, "I" am always right about these things."

I sniggered and stared at the half-empty glass in her hands. "Are you sure it's not because of all the Champagne you had tonight?"

She hit my arm. "Oh, you know what I mean!"

I chuckled.

Glancing toward my best friend once again, Bella smiled as she hugged the rest of the group goodbye. The snowflake clip in her hair twinkled under the light. It's sad to say that I feel mixed emotions whenever I see that little crystal. It reminded me of the tender moment we had when I gave it to her, and the heartrending moment 'I' had when I watched her give away her first kiss to another boy. It has always been a tainted object for me. But at least it still holds a little happiness.

"Aunt Izzie?"

"Hm?"

My eyes went downcast and I groaned. "Do you think she feels the same way about me?" I asked slowly.

I know I've asked this question more than a hundred times before, but I needed to know what other people thought about it. Is there a chance of knowing indirectly if this could work out? Were my feelings worth risking a lifelong friendship? Answers never left me satisfied. I know now that nothing would stop me from telling Bella how I really feel, but a little reassurance never hurt anybody. No matter how brave I ought to be, the fear of damaging our friendship still haunts me.

Aunt Izzie turned me to face her. She patted my cheeks like I was a ten year old boy. "Edward dear," she smiled. "Tell me…Since when have you known Isabella?"

I gave her an inquiring look. "Since… forever." I answered with a shrug.

"And in that span of time, how long have you two been best friends?"

My eyes rolled over as I smiled. "Since forever."

"And… since when have you loved her?"

…

My heart warmed as I stared into my Aunt's blue eyes.

I smiled softly and whispered, "Since forever."

She smiled widely. "Exactly. The two of you have grown up side by side. No one knows you more than Bella, and no one knows Bella more than you. You've been through _everything_ together! All the ups and downs and no matter what happened in the first eighteen years of both your lives, neither of you ever had the intention to leave one another! You take care of her, she takes care of you. You make sure she's always happy; she makes sure you're always happy. You fight, you make up… and you said yourself once that the both of you don't even function correctly when apart! And for heaven's sake you even sleep on the same bed at this age without feeling an ounce of awkwardness!"

I laughed at her. _Damn right!_ It really does seem strange in other people's eyes.

"And come to think of it," she shrugged, "She has never had a boyfriend; you have never had a girlfriend… maybe you're both saving yourselves for each other without even knowing it."

_Well, first kiss is definitely off the list_, I thought, a grimace forming on my face.

"Edward," she touched my cheek and looked at me sincerely. "I don't see a _single reason_ why she can't love you."

With those words, I felt a wave of negative emotions suddenly leave my body as I took a deep breath. _That's it. That's all I needed to hear. _

I gave my Aunt a grateful smile and took her hands in mine, giving them her favorite little gentlemanly kiss. "Thanks, Aunt Izzie."

She hummed and chuckled. "I guess in this kind of situation you don't exactly take after your father."

I gave her a quizzical look. "What do you mean?"

"Well, on the second day Carlisle met your mother, he'd already confessed his love." She smirked.

I looked at her in surprise. "Woah, seriously? I know Dad proposed to Mom two months after they met but man that was quick!"

Aunt Izzie rolled her eyes playfully. "Oh, tell me about it. Imagine being his cousin back then. It drove me crazy! But when you know it's true, 'Why waste time?' some people say."

Smirking slightly, I looked down at my shoes. Right. Why waste time? I've had 18 years of time and I feel like I'm running out of days to come. I glanced at Bella once more and my heart swelled with so much love and devotion. I can't even put into words how much I love her.

So… I know that I can never survive her breaking my heart.

After taking a deep breath, I nodded to my Aunt Izzie.

"Now Edward, to repeat what I was saying before you dozed off to your little staring game," she chuckled, "Bella's parents are planning to stay here a little longer to finish their bottle of Christmas wine with us so if you don't mind," she turned toward a yawning Bella, "little Isabella seems to be exhausted so take her home and straight to bed!"

I laughed. "Of course, Aunt Izzie! Now remember, not too much wine or you'll fall dead drunk again." I teased her.

She chucked in her last gulp of Champagne. "Oh, for heaven's sake, it's wine! Not vodka!"

"Haha, alright then. Merry Christmas! I'll see you in the morning." I smiled, giving her one last hug before walking toward a drowsy looking Bella.

**……………**

**Bella's POV**

Yawning on the spot, I watched as our friends and families walked out the door waving their last goodbyes and holiday greetings. Leaning against the wall, I closed my heavy lidded eyes for a few seconds only just realizing now how tired my body actually felt.

This is different. For the past Christmases, I used to stay up the entire night and fall asleep on the couch in the early mornings. Too bad I can't do that this year.

"Hey hey hey!" Edward chuckled as he made his way toward me. "Don't you think a bed would be more comfortable than a wall?" He pulled me gently by the hand and I languidly leaned my body against his chest. His arms wrapped around my back at the next second. _He's so sweet._ I smiled on his chest and instantly felt all warm and gooey inside. He feels like a warm blanket.

_This feels good._

I just moaned in reply. Forget the bed! Edward feels ten times more comfortable.

Honestly! My relationship with my best friend is so surreal! I thought we'd feel awkward around each other after what happened earlier, but we seemed to continue on as if it never happened. I was both sad and thankful for it. Twice in one night! How much more could I possibly take?

I sighed without knowing on his chest and burrowed in further like I would under the covers of my bed. I could fall asleep right this second if I could. I felt his chest vibrate as he chuckled.

Feeling a little playful, I leaned my entire weight in Edward's arms and faked sleep.

"Wha- what the? Bellaaa!" Edward whined amusedly. "Oh come on now! I know you're faking." He chuckled, trying to lift me up around the arms but I sagged against him like a ragged doll.

"Bella! Come… come on! Quit foolin' around." Edward said between chuckles as he tried pulling me together. Chuckles soon escaped me as well as he moved me from side to side and shook me up and down like a salt shaker. We soon sank into a fit full of laughter as I gave up and stood upright in his arms. I knew better than to continue that sleep fake-out. Edward wouldn't hesitate to carry me bridal style all the way home.

Another sleepy sigh escaped me as I rested my head on his shoulder. "I'm so tired." I groaned.

"Really? I wouldn't have known."

Chuckling, I wrapped my arms around his neck just wanting to be closer to him. He responded by hugging me tighter to his chest. His warm hand stroked up my back making my eyes close to their own accord. There's no exact reason for us hugging each other tightly like this. The moment just comes randomly. On some days we'd just stand around hugging each other for several minutes without a care in the world. Maybe it's a reassurance thing? A reassurance that we'd always be there for each other, or an 'I'm glad you're my best friend' moment.

Well, whatever it is… who cares for a reason? Sometimes it's better to just leave things as it is without question.

"We haven't done this in a long time." I murmured by chance into his shoulder.

I felt him sigh before answering, "I know." His chin rested at the side of my head.

I never wanted to leave his arms.

After I woke up from my coma, I'd be foolish if I didn't say that Edward and I have been closer than ever.

We stayed like that for a few more seconds before finally pulling away. Edward let me lean into him as we kissed our parents goodnight and greeted them a Merry Christmas. We walked out to the cool night air after putting on our jackets. I glanced up at the sky. The snow wasn't bad. In fact, it actually felt gentle this time. Lamp posts lit the entire street with bright white light so it was possible to see the snowflakes softly dance down from the sky.

A perfect Christmas snow fall and a pretty sight.

I stood by the entrance of the house as Edward started his car.

Well… tried to start his car. I could hear the engine revving but it just won't start. I walked down the steps. "Is something wrong?"

Edward had his brow furrowed as he glanced to me. "Car won't start." He tried again but still, nothing. "I just had it tuned up last month. That's weird."

I stared at the car blankly and down the street to the direction of my house. It's just a block and the weather seems suitable enough. I smiled. A walk on fresh Christmas snow anyone?

"Edward." I turned to him.

"Just one second, Bells. I know I can get this-…"

"Edward." I chuckled, walking toward him. He looked at me, confused.

I held out my hand. "Come on. It's only down the street. Why waste a nice Christmas weather? Let's walk."

"But Bella… it's cold. You might-…"

"I won't get sick." I smiled. I knew he would complain but I wasn't having it. "Please. Just this once." I begged.

The look on his face told me that he was debating the matter in his mind. A smirk appeared on my mouth. "It could be your Christmas Present to me."

A momentary smile appeared on his face before he looked at me skeptically. Raising a brow, I walked straight to my best friend and pulled him by the hand. "Come on!" I urged him out of the car. Of course, he had no choice but to comply. He gave a small whiny groan before closing his car door.

"Hold on to me, okay."

I chuckled. "Yay!"

He scoffed, wrapping his arm around my shoulders. "Don't get used to it. When we get to your house, we're turning on the heat."

"Like I always say, you worry too much, Ed." I replied, wrapping my arm around his back and leaning into his warm body.

"And like I always say, you can never be too careful, Bells."

"Yeah, whatever."

He chuckled.

The pavement we were walking on was around two inches deep in fresh snow. Edward had his arm around me tight, making sure that I wouldn't get into any tripping accidents on the way. Admittedly and sadly, my clumsy side has come back for a moment and ever since that first time I fell into Edward's arms after trying to stand up in the hospital, he has constantly been by my side every time I left the bed. Honestly, I love Edward to death but he has to try and loosen up a little. He may be overprotective but I am as stubborn as a donkey. He said so himself.

I smiled amusedly at my thoughts.

"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Edward asked.

I glanced up to him, snickering. "Nothing, just… admiring the general splendor that is Christmas."

He smiled and surveyed our surroundings. "Yeah, pretty great turn out this year don't you think?"

"Mhm. Everything looks like it's been topped off with powdered sugar." I chuckled, looking at the rooftops of the houses we were passing by and the fresh snow on top of the parked vehicles. It's not hard to imagine, honestly. They really do look like powdered sugar.

Edward burst into laughter. "Powdered sugar? Is that really how you see snow or is your tummy rumbling for something sweet like gingerbread or krispy kreme donuts?"

Groaning, I hit his arm lightly. "Don't tempt me. My stomach's already bursting as it is and you had to go on and mention krispy kreme donuts! Now I'm going to imagine everything covered in glaze."

"Hmm? Including…me?" he asked slowly.

I stared at him and narrowed my eyes and looked ahead. "I don't know what you mean… giant… talking donut."

He chuckled, hugging me closer. "I guess I have been depriving you of sweets a little bit, huh?" Edward has been all over my health chart this past week, always making sure that I eat healthily until I get back to my normal stature. So he has strictly banned me from eating excessive amounts of sweet things, fast food, oily food, and etc. for fear that it might do something bad to my system. By God, the man is incorrigible!

I made a sound of disbelief. "A little? You wouldn't even let me have a slice of my Mom's cake!"

"Hey, I let you have a bite from my slice of pie! And it was a damn good one. You know how much I don't like sharing my food!" he defended.

I gave him a raised eyebrow and he just shrugged.

"If you're good I'll let you have a bite of the giant talking donut." He smirked.

_Is he serious? _Well, either way he did give me a green light. "You asked for it." Quickly grabbing the arm wrapped around my shoulders, I bit down on the side of his cool hand.

Edward seemed taken aback. "Oooow! Help! Help! Crazy girl is biting my hand off!" he yelled, though not enough to wake the neighbors of course.

I chuckled, still grasping his hand. "It's no problem! He's a donut!" I yelled back, trying to get another nip on his hand.

"Yeah, a big talking donut! People will believe that." Chuckling, Edward started pulling his hand away from my grasp and my mouth followed wherever he went. Soon, my stomach was aching from all the laughter I kept inside. Here we are again, acting like a couple of five year olds. I was still holding on to his hand, but he towered it high above me that I couldn't get another playful nip.

"No fair!" I sniggered, letting go of my grasp. "You're much taller than me." It's true. I stood at around 5'5 while my best friend stood at at least 6'0 feet. I don't know if it's possible, but it still feels like he's growing to me.

"Yes well, you've had enough sweets for today my little cookie monster."

Well, I personally have never seen the cookie monster's trip and fall over his feet but I must be one heck of a kind! As I took one more step forward, my boot slipped over some black ice on the pavement. Unable to regain composure, a shriek escaped me before I squeezed my eyes shut and felt myself falling.

"Bella!"

A warm weight embraced me before I heard the sound of crunching snow. "Oof!"

_Huh?_ I didn't even feel a hard hit to the ground.

I peeked an eye open and saw flesh…then opened both to realize that it was actually Edward's neck.

"You okay?" he asked underneath me. _Underneath me_. I raised my head to see Edward with his arms around me, lying on the snow. He must have spun our bodies so he would land instead of me. Normally I'd scold him for doing a stunt like that, but I'd gotten used to it over the years. He always said that he'd take pain any day as long as he knew I was safe. The thought always scared me, but I would do the same for him as well.

I felt the blood rise to my face. "Uh, yeah I'm okay." I answered.

Edward chuckled, closing his eyes and laying his head in the snow. "Must I hold on to you every time so you won't fall?"

My blush deepened. _I wouldn't mind it one bit, honestly_. "It's only for a little while." We stared at each other for a few seconds before I rolled onto my back on the snow bed next to him. We sighed together, looking up at the sky, feeling little prickles of water as the snowflakes hit our faces.

Edward raised his hand up in front of us. "Look what you did you crazy little cookie monster." He chuckled, referring to the little bite mark I made at the side of his hand.

I laughed, reaching out and taking his hand in mine. "I'm sorry. Here." Closing my eyes, I gave it a lingering kiss.

_Kiss…_

My body made an involuntary shiver as I recalled our little incident under the mistletoe. I suddenly felt a little queasy. "Is uhm… is that alright?" I asked, setting his hand down between us. I kept my eyes straight up to the snow-falling sky, afraid to look into his eyes.

"Yeah…" I heard him whisper next to me.

A moment passed by with neither of us talking. I was just at a loss for words. All I could think about was how we almost kissed 'twice' in one night. Edward's behavior was making me think that he's uncomfortable with the whole situation. During the aftermath of both incidents, he wouldn't even look me in the eye.

_That's a bad sign right? _I asked myself. My mind is so complex right now that I just want it all to stop.

I sensed Edward sit up. "Come on. We need to get inside or we'll freeze our butts off."

The cold breeze hitting my face didn't make me think twice. Smiling, I took his outstretched hand and stood, brushing the snow off of me as we continued down the sidewalk. Thank God my house was only a few more steps away because we seemed to sink into very uncomfortable silence. Edward opened the gate fence for me and we hurried up the steps, brushing the snow off our hats and shoulders.

"Thanks for taking me home, Edward." We looked at each other for a moment and smiled.

Edward nodded, putting his hands in his pockets and looking elsewhere. "Sure…" he replied.

I couldn't think of anything else to say at this point. Awkward is it? That seems to be happening a lot lately. I guess this is where the night ends, although I really didn't want him to leave. If there wasn't this weird 'air' between us, I'd ask him straight out if he would stay with me tonight. "Uh, y-you should probably head back, uh…" I tucked my hair behind my ear. "I mean, it is late and..."

Edward pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah uhm. It is late huh? Merry Christmas, Bells."

Guess he forgot all about turning up the heat. No other reason for him to stay, I presume.

"Merry Christmas, Ed." I replied, feeling a lot less of the holiday spirit. _Great job, Isabella! You probably scared him off with all your nervous crap! He probably doesn't want to be around you at the moment._ It felt like I wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

It brought back memories to that one day a couple of years ago when I first realized that I was actually in love with my best friend…

**16yearsold16yearsold16yearsold…**

_I slammed the door of my house shut not intending it to make an echoic bang throughout the floor. _

"_Bells, that you?" my Dad called from the living room. _

"_Uh, yeah Dad. Sorry!" I said, swiftly making my way up the stairs in a nervous haze. _

"_You okay?" he asked._

"_Fine! Just uh, gotta go to the bathroom!" I scrambled out of my shoes and slightly tripped over the stupid shoelaces. I took my phone out of my pocket and ran straight to the bathroom, closing it behind me. I couldn't stand still. My whole body was shaking in mixed, stressed and panicked emotions. My hands were shaking as I punched the numbers into my phone and put it next to my ear. Pacing on the spot, I chanted "Pick up, pick up, pick up…" after hearing the first ring. _

_The receiver picked up. "_Hi Bella!_"_

"_I LOVE HIM!!!" I screamed, letting the words take over as I let it out of my chest!_

_There was a moment of silence on the other line. _

"_Alice! Wake up! Did you hear me?"_

"Uh, loud and clear but please come again?_" _

_Whimpering, I leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor. "I love him, Alice." My voice shook. _

_Alice gasped. "_Oh my God, Bella! That's great! Oh… no wait! We are talking about Edward right? Please tell me we're talking about Edward!_" _

_A cry built up in my throat but I stopped it by taking a deep shivering breath. "Yeah…" _

_I still couldn't believe it! The thought just came out of my head so randomly. One minute we were hugging and apologizing and at the next second it just dawned on me. It hit my chest so hard, I felt like I'd just fallen from the sky. _

_I was in love with my best friend! Edward! Someone I've known my entire life. My best friend who's… smart, kind, handsome and just everything that's perfect! _

"Phew! Oh thank God. That's the best news I've heard all week!"_ Alice chuckled making me confused. _

"_Wha- This is nothing to be thankful for, Alice. It's, it's, it's a forbidden thing- it's a forbidden territory! I know that I had been like… crushing on him or fawning over him for the past couple of years but I didn't want it to grow into this… this 'massive' feeling, I expected it to go away! I- I- I- I can't…" I sobbed. _

_Right! I have been crushing over my best friend over the past two years. Ever since the day he comforted me from that stupid passing note paper, a new array of feelings have emerged. I still remember it like it was yesterday. All the words he's told me, the way he held me in his arms, the way he wiped away my tears… from that day, I looked at him in a whole new light._

"_I can't- how did I… how did I let this happen? Edward and I swore to be best friends forever ever since that day we watched Winnie the Pooh when we were five and now… now my feelings might change everything for the worst."_

"Bella, sweetie, calm down. You're thinking way too much. Just relax and tell me what happened with Edward."

_I blinked. "How did you know something happened with Edward?"_

"Well obviously something must have happened to make you realize it."

"_Oh…" I sighed and explained to her all that happened starting from this afternoon when Edward got into a fight with James Rogers where he ended up with a black eye and a bruised hand. Then I explained why I had gotten mad at him and how we made up on my backyard when the feeling just hit me like a ton of bricks. _

"_I just came from his house a few minutes ago. Had to help him explain to Carlisle and Esme and now here I am." Bawling my eyes out. I grabbed my towel from the towel rack and started wiping my tears away. _

"Wow!"

"_I know."_

"Edward's going to be the hit of the school tomorrow!"

_I groaned._

"Bells, you're being a little too pessimistic about this. Lighten up for a bit."

"_But Alice, I can't be in love with him. It'll ruin us." I just can't stand the thought having Edward and mine's friendship turn for the worse. He's the most important person in my life. _

"What makes you think that'll ruin you guys? I'm telling you, this is the greatest thing ever!"

_I was awestruck by Alice's glee. "What? What makes you think that?"_

"'Because' Edward lo-…"_ she stopped suddenly._

_My eyebrows furrowed. "Because Edward what?"_

"Uh, I mean…Edward could… Edward could have the same feelings as you! I mean, you guys are… you guys are just perfect for each other! Think of it, Bella! Two best friends falling in love, isn't it the sweetest thing?"

_I sighed sadly, shaking my head. "He doesn't feel for me, Alice. I'm not good enough for him." It hurts more when I say it than when I think of it. _

"Oh shut your mouth, Bella! Don't ever think that! Any man would be lucky to have a girl like you!"

"_I'm sorry, Ali, but… I don't know! We're in the friend zone. There are rules and besides, he'll never think of me as more than a friend." _

"Rules shmools! Just tell him how you feel!"

_I jumped in surprise. The thought scared me to death. "No! I can never do that! He'll run away and things will get awkward and the next thing you know we can't even be in the same room with each other." I argued. _

"But Bells… there are just some things that you have to risk."

_Risk. How can one word contain so much courage and fear? Visions of Edward with a blank expression and seeing him take a step back made my breath shiver and my heart constrict. I can't believe how much it hurts to love him so much. I looked down sadly. I can't do it. I can never do it._

_I have to make these feelings go away for the sake of our friendship. _

_More tears fell down my eyes when I realized what I had to do._

"_I can't risk our friendship. It's too precious to me. He's too important to me. I- I'm afraid of losing him."_

_Another moment of silence came between us and all that was heard were my sobs through the phone._

"Bella, sweetie… don't cry. It's gonna be alright."

_I couldn't answer. How can anything be alright? My hand went up to my head trying to massage it through my locks. My whole body felt like it was in turmoil. Fear was taking over me. I thought about Edward again. His face, his smile, his touch… I was craving for his embrace and comfort. It was never easy for me to keep things from him. _

_I know that he could never feel for me. He deserves so much better. I felt pieces of my heart crippling away already. _

_I needed Edward._

_My Edward… I'm so sorry. _

"Bells… I'm calling Rose and we're coming over okay?"

_I sniffed. "It's late." Was all I could say._

"Time doesn't matter. We'll be over in a few minutes with chocolate, popcorn and a few drinks. On the meantime wipe your tears away and think happy thoughts, okidoki!"

_I sniggered._

"That's my girl! Now put on your jammies and get ready for us!"

_I smiled. Trust Alice to make you feel better. "Okay…"_

_We said our goodbyes and I shut my phone. I stared at the mirror in front of me and almost winced at how horrible, red and blotchy my face looked. Turning on the sink, I sunk my face in cold water and wiped it off with my towel. _

_I leaned my ear onto the bathroom door before strutting all the way to my bedroom. I didn't want my father to see me like this. _

_Once I made it inside, my phone vibrated in my pocket making me jump out of my skin! Pulling it out, I gasped when I read Edward's name across the phone screen. _

"_Oh God…"_

_What do I do? I can't just ignore it. Then again, I might suddenly break down when I talk to him. But if I don't answer he's just going to keep calling and then he'll call the house phone and Dad will answer it and give it to me so I have no choice but to talk to him! And if that doesn't work out, he's going to get worried like he always does and might even climb in through my window for a little visit! _

_Oh no! That can't happen! What am I gonna do? I should have expected this! We always call to say goodnight! _

_The phone stopped ringing and I stared at it. I let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding and put my hand over my beating heart. _

"_Please don't call back." I whispered. After standing there on my door for a good minute, I finally relaxed. _

_RING!!! RING!!!_

"_Oh! Jesus!" The phone literally jumped out of my hands and landed on the floor. I heard a static voice come through and I gulped. The receiver button must have clicked when my phone landed. "Crap!" _

_I quickly scrambled to the floor and took my phone, placing it on my ear. "Hell- Hello?" _

"Bells! It's me."_ Oh God, his voice…_

"_Oh, hi Ed."_

"What happened? Did you drop your phone?"

"_Uh, yeah, s-sort of." Oh crap. My voice was obviously flustered._

_He paused. _"Are you alright? You sound a little edgy there."

"_Yeah! I'm fine uhm… so… so how'd it go? What's your punishment?" I asked, trying to change to subject._

_He groaned. _"Not bad really. Two weeks. I expected a month or more but I think you being there lightened my parents up a bit."_ He chuckled. I heard the unmistakable sound of bed springs. I smiled trying to imagine him sprawled out across his bed with his hand behind his head. _

_I pursed my lips._

"Bells? You there?"

_I snapped out of my reverie. "Uh, yeah. Uhm, hey listen, Ed… I'm kinda tired tonight. Do you mind if we talk tomorrow?" I just can't handle talking to him right now. Not after what happened._

"Oh. Oh, uh, sure. No problem." _He replied, sounding a little disheartened. I pursed my lips, feeling a little guilty. "_I'll call you tomorrow then._"_

_I nodded to myself. "Yeah. Goodnight, Edward."_

"Hey wait!"_ he said quickly. "_Bells… you're not still mad… are you? I thought we were passed that."

_More guilt sunk in me. "No! No, no… I'm not mad, Ed. We are passed… 'that'. Uhm, I'm just tired, that's all. It's… it's been a long day and you should probably get some rest too."_

_He went silent for a few seconds on the other line. _"Alright. I'll call you tomorrow then."_ His voice told me that he was frowning._

_I can't end this night with him being sad. It's just not right. _

"_Hey Ed?" _

"Yeah?"

_My face fell sadly. I never felt so worse in my life. I don't know how to get rid of my feelings, but I can't do it by pushing him or hurting him in any way. He just doesn't deserve it. A tear slid down my cheek and I was missing him already. He always knew how to make me feel better… but he can't make me feel better about 'this'. _

_It's probably a bad idea and an act of masochism, but a part of me says that I need it. _

"_Do you mind if I sleep with you tonight? I'll probably be over around eleven though." I said. _

_I felt him smile on the other line. _"You don't even have to ask, Bells. Come over any time you want."

_Once our conversation ended, I curled up like a cat on my bedspread feeling the loud beating of my heart. For a moment I allowed myself to feel the joy of loving my best friend, but it all soon came to a close, joy being replaced by fear and trouble._

"_I love you, Edward." I whispered, hugging the phone to my chest._

"_I'm so sorry."_

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

Sighing, I put my hand on the doorknob about to turn it open until Edward spoke.

"Wait!" he stepped forward, making me glance up to his face. He had this look, almost troubled and… tense. His eyes looked anywhere but mine. He was fumbling his hands in his pockets. "Here!"

Before I knew it, he thrust something to my stomach. My head shot down in surprise.

It was a small wrapped box covered in snow. I felt my heart thump in my chest.

"Uh…" he pulled it back a little bit. "Sort of got wet a little bit cause you know," he shrugged, "we fell on the snow and all." He brushed off the snow from the little box.

"There." He reached it back to me and pulled it back again. He kept on shifting from one foot to another. The sight baffled me. It was very unlike Edward. "Or you know maybe I should open it for you cause… uhm, I don't know. You should open it of course cause it's your Christmas Present but I… I kinda have this picture in my head and…" He suddenly sniggered, putting his hand on his forehead.

I stared at him, dumbfounded. I don't think I remember seeing him this nervous before. However, I couldn't help but find it…endearing.

_His Christmas present for me? He's giving it now?_

Closing his eyes, Edward pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. An act I've seen him done a million times before. After a few seconds, he simply dropped his hands to his sides and offered me the little wrapped box.

"Merry Christmas, Bella." He said softly.

I blinked. "Edward, we're not supposed to give gifts until tomorrow mor-"

"I know." he quickly replied. "This is my first gift. I have another one for tomorrow." He smirked.

I huffed at him and put my hands on my hips. "You have 'two' presents for me?" This man is too much.

"Yyyes."

I narrowed my eyes.

He scuffed his shoe on the floor. "And another one after that." He whispered. Knowing him, some part of me already expected this.

Chuckling, I shook my head. "Edward…"

"Bella." he raised a finger. "You promised! Back in the hospital remember? You'll let me spoil you until the end of the Christmas Vacation to make up for the five months you've been away."

I sighed, dropping my arms. "Why did I agree to that again?"

He smiled slyly. "Because it was either that or spoiling you until your school starts on March." _Right!_

"Give me that." I chuckled, snatching the present out of his hands. His face showed the triumph of his small accomplishment.

The present rested on my hands and I just stared at it for a good few seconds, wondering what it could be. Admittedly, I couldn't contain my excitement. Edward's presents have always been so special to me. Pursing my lips, I pulled on the white ribbon and started tearing on the Christmas paper. A blue velvet box stared up at me. I was just about to open the side until Edward's hands came over mine, taking away my present unexpectedly.

"Close your eyes." He said, a sweet look on his face. _Close my eyes? He knows I hate surprises. What's he planning?_

Noticing my hesitation, he added, "Please?" And how in the world can I resist that?

So I did.

I heard the box click open and a little bit of fumbling in the air… and maybe a little tinkling sound. My face furrowed in curiosity.

But it was when I felt Edward's arms wrap around me did I feel the blood rise to my face.

**...............**

**Edward's POV**

The expression on my face became serious as soon as Bella closed her eyes and placed a soft kiss on my hand. In that one second, all memories of what happened hours ago came flooding back and all I could stare at were her lips. The way they puckered up and how soft and gentle it felt when she kissed me. Electricity ran down the veins of my arm.

"Is uhm… is that alright?" she said softly, settling my hand between us. I stared at her as if in a trance and replied, "Yeah…"

I don't know why, but we stayed there lying in the snow for a moment not talking or moving a muscle. I kept my eyes up above and she probably did the same. Once I felt a gust of cold wind hit my face, I realized that we needed to get out of the snow.

"Come on," I said, sitting up and offering her my hand. "We need to get inside or we'll freeze our butts off." Bella smiled before taking my hand. I hoisted her up and we patted the snow off our clothes, continuing our walk in an awkward silence.

The entire way there, I kept fumbling with Bella's present in my pocket.

_Should I give it to her now? Maybe tomorrow would be a better time. But I still have my second and third present so now is probably a good time. Oh shit, what if she doesn't like it? _

I sighed.

Now here I am, stuttering my words and trying my best to present her my Christmas gift. _Ah, what the heck?_

Giving up, I simply reached out to her the rectangular box and said, "Merry Christmas, Bella."

She blinked and as I expected, she had a surprised look on her face. It was always a tradition for our family to exchange gifts on Christmas morning. In this case, I'm doing it really really early in the morning.

She stared at me. "Edward, we're not supposed to give gifts until tomorrow mor-"

"I know. This is my first gift. I have another one for tomorrow." I replied, cutting her off. I was taking full advantage of that promise we made a deal on back at the hospital a few days ago.

Bella huffed and put her hands on her hips with a raised brow. A stature I've always found to be adorable. "You have "two" presents for me?"

I smiled inwardly. At that point, I was thinking that maybe I could just give the third gift as a surprise. "Yyyes." I replied lamely. She obviously saw through me once she narrowed her eyes.

"And another one after that." I finally admitted.

Of course she knew right from the start that I wouldn't take no for an answer. After reminding her of the reason why she agreed on the promise, she took the present out of my hands making me smile in triumph.

Once she had torn off the paper and held the velvet box in her hands did I close my hands upon hers. She held a puzzled look on her face.

I smiled sheepishly. "Close your eyes."

I know she doesn't like surprises but it was part of the promise she made me. Noticing her hesitation, I added, "Please."

Sighing, she smirked at me and slowly closed her eyelids.

My heart resounded from my chest out of nervousness. After taking a deep breath, I opened the box and stared at the sparkling blue aquamarine diamond hanging around a silver chain.

Why am I nervous, you ask? The thing is…I've never given Bella jewelry before.

Bella was never really a person who liked shiny things with a big price tag so I never had to worry about giving her jewelry in the past. Not that I wasn't tempted of course. Besides, only boyfriends give jewelry to their girlfriends, right? I'm not her boyfriend and what's more, I wouldn't know what kind to give her.

But I was walking by the jewelry store the other day and this little necklace just screamed 'Bella' to me through the window. It was almost begging to be placed around Bella's neck, although I did hesitate to purchase the necklace because I wouldn't know if she would like it or not.

_Oh damn, I hope she likes it. _

Unclasping the chain with my shivering hands, I looked at her once more and breathed in. Once I stepped closer, my hands circled around her neck and I heard her breath hitch. The dawn of realization drowned over me as I took notice of our position.

Note: To put on a necklace on a girl, ask her to turn around _and then_ place the necklace around her neck!

_How the hell am I supposed to know that!? I've never done this before!_ My inner voice complained.

At this point, it seems like I'm hugging her… or… did she think that I was about to lean over to kiss-

I barreled out of my thoughts and focused on what was currently at hand. _Just clasp the damn necklace!_

_Oh right!_

Luckily, I clasped the necklace around her in one snap and quickly pulled away to catch my breath. It looked beautiful on her neck as I had hoped. _Now what?_

Bella opened her eyes, staring at me as he hand reached up to her neck. She looked down and gasped. Her mouth went slightly agape. "What is this?"

_Oh crap. I knew it. She doesn't like it._

My head went down, trying to hide the disappointment on my face. "I'm sorry." I whispered.

"What? For what?"

"I was hoping you would like it but I ah-…"

"No no no! Edward…" she quickly responded, making me look up at her bedazzled face. "I meant…" her hand still on the necklace. "You've just… never given me jewelry before."

I gave a lopsided grin. "Well, there's a first time for everything."

She chuckled, looking down again at the small blue stone. "You're making the most out of that promise aren't you?"

It was my turn to chuckle but the laughter faded once I saw Bella's face form a frown. "What's wrong?" I asked worriedly.

She sighed dejectedly. "Nothing, it's just…" she shrugged. "You always give me beautiful things that make me feel like the luckiest best friend in the world! Like what happened hours ago with the Winnie the Pooh snow globe or the past 18 years with you getting me Birthday and Christmas presents that make my heart melt and all the time I felt guilty for not being able to give you anything equally as beautiful and I forever wish that I could but I can't-"

"Bella," I spoke, making her snap out of her little ramble. "What are you talking about?" I asked her, completely baffled at what she just said. I didn't know whether to feel happy or sad; happy because she just said that I make her heart melt and sad because of her feeling guilt.

_I make her heart melt?_

"Bella," I started, taking her hand in mine and looking into her expressive brown eyes. "I give you these presents because I _want_ you to have them. Hell, if we go on a shopping spree one day and your little finger points to everything you like, I'd give them to you in a heartbeat, you know I would and all you have to do is say the word!"

She chuckled sheepishly.

"I know you're not the type of person who cares for big price tags or material things but sometimes I just can't help it. You are the greatest bestest friend in the world! Just think of my presents as a way of saying thank you… " She knows just how much I love spoiling her. However, my other intention is to get her memorable things so that she would always be reminded of me. It's a selfish thought but every man has his weakness. "Just… think of it as my weakness, Bella." I sniggered.

She pursed her lips with a twinkle in her eye. "Guess I have to be careful on shopping sprees then."

I smiled, taking her other hand in mine. We held on to each other tight, trying to rid the cold on our skin with our body warmth.

"You know I always let you get away with things. Whenever I see that big eyed pouty puppy face of yours, my tenacity crumbles like hot water on thin ice." She said with a sly smile on her face. "I guess that's my way of making _you_ spoiled."

My mouth went agape and I threw my head back in laughter. First, because she adores my puppy face and second because of what she said about her way of making me spoiled! "Spot on! That is the ugly truth! I never thought of it that way. It seems like we're equals in spoiling each other after all, Ms. Swan."

Bella looked at our hands as she laced her fingers with mine, amusement never leaving her face. She looked up and put her right hand on her chest… on the necklace, glancing down as she did so. "It's beautiful, Edward." She whispered.

I stared at her dotingly. "It's nothing compared to you." The words escaped my mouth before I realized. It just felt like an impulsive thing to say. It was no lie nevertheless.

A blush crept up her face as she looked down. "Oh, come on." She answered bashfully.

I grinned at her. Like I said, Bella doesn't like it very much when people say how beautiful she is. That crimson blush always seems to give her away, a blush that I find to be most endearing.

I raised her chin gently with my finger. "And don't you dare say ever again that you don't give me wonderful presents. Everything you give me, Bella, I treasure with everything in me, and I'm not saying that to be modest. So please, don't ever feel guilty. Promise me."

She sighed. "I don't know. I'm feeling pretty bad right now with my gift for you this Christmas."

She bought me a present?!

"Bella, I don't want _anything_ from you… all I need is for you to be my friend."

Her lips pursed. A nervous habit of hers. "I'd say cheesy line but… all I need is _you_ too."

I chuckled and pulled her in for a hug. This girl is just amazing."Bella… _you_ being here is the best present I could ever ask for." I said sincerely. It truly is the best present in the world! She moaned on my chest sending me shivers in… 'some' places as she wrapped her arm around my back.

Our right hands were still entwined. Bella reached it up and placed a soft kiss at the back of my hand. I smiled at her sweet gesture and in turn, kissed her forehead… only I didn't expect her to raise her head a bit so I got the bridge of her nose instead. She startled a little bit but laughed anyway.

I felt her go up on her toes and she quickly kissed my nose. Our foreheads touched and we both chuckled.

Seriously, what is with us and kissing noses? It may seem weird and childish, but I didn't care one bit. As a matter of fact, I quite find it to be very… cute. We've been doing it ever since we were kids anyway. It's another one of our 'things' as best friends.

A vision suddenly flashed through my eyes, of me kissing the nose of a little freckled girl with curly bronze hair and brown eyes. Her laughter filled the air and I felt my heart skip a beat.

Gasping, my face turned serious and when I opened my eyes, I stared at the chocolate brown pools of the only woman I will ever love. I wasn't daft. I knew what that vision was. The vast sensation drifted across my chest and I was filled with a sense of longing.

I want it. My whole being is screaming for it.

_A little girl… coming from Bella and I?_

And all I have to do is make it happen.

"What is it?" Bella asked softly, noticing my intense stare.

I just let my mind speak. _I want to be with you, Bella. I crave it more than anything._

I just smiled and shook my head. We were close, our forehead against each other. I stared as Bella slowly closed her eyes. I leaned in closer until our noses were touching. Everything felt like a tender moment that I would always remember. We stood there for a little while, hearing the sound of our breathing and just enjoying the company of being close to each other. I couldn't help but feel that during this past week, a new door has been unlocked for Bella and me, but we haven't had the chance to fully explore it yet.

"Edward," I heard Bella whisper. I opened my eyes to see hers with a sparkle. She urged me to look up and I followed her gaze.

I almost laughed.

A smile crept up my face. There hanging across the tall doorframe were five mistletoe branches with red ribbons tied to their tip.

_Wow! Third time's a charm. _

"I don't remember seeing that a few hours ago." said Bella, her voice still like a whisper.

I looked down from the doorframe. Amusement spread through my face. "Me neither." I had a little feeling…

_Rosalie and Alice… inhaler huh? _

"I guess Christmas Tradition is asking us to seal the deal."

Smirking, I turned to look at Bella as my excitement rose up the charts. "Will you?" I asked her, leaning my head closer once again.

Her eyes grew soft and questioning. "Will you?" she asked back.

_I will, Bella. I most definitely will. I won't let anything stop this moment anymore. _

Reaching my hand up, I brushed my fingers against her soft temple. Bella responded by leaning into my touch. It reminded me of all the times she'd lean into my palm in her sleep. Except now… she was awake.

_Her skin feels so warm._

_No distractions. No one there. Just us. Just the two of us. _

_Make it happen._

My head went down slowly, my eyes not daring themselves to close as they locked into Bella's heavy lidded ones. I wanted to see, hear and feel everything.

I felt the soft brush of our lips and the hot air that blew out of our mouths. We stood still for a second, contemplating the fact of what was about to happen… then I couldn't stand it anymore. My lips descended and pressed fully onto hers and for heaven's sake, my eyes closed to their own accord. Fireworks exploded beneath my eyes!

My lips started moving against hers, trying to find a new position in which our mouths could fit better and bit back a groan when I felt her start to move back.

_God, her lips are so soft… so sweet._ She tasted like strawberries and champagne. _So damn delicious, I could live with this taste forever!_

One hand went to the middle of her back, and the other went to the back of her neck to keep her close. I felt her arms wrap around my neck as she pulled me closer, her fingers raking through my hair making it stand on end. _It felt so damn good!_ Her body leaned on me as I supported both our weights.

I didn't know how to describe it. Our lips pressed firmly to each other, almost like it was afraid of drifting away. Electricity flooded my veins and I felt dizzy from the emotions running through me all at once. Nothing in the world compared to this moment. Everything felt so right, the way our lips touched, how she felt in my arms, the feeling we were creating… It was better than anything I've ever imagined.

I breathed in through my nose, not wanting to end this kiss just yet. My hand went from the back of her neck to cup her temple as my thumb stroked her smooth cheek. To my surprise, she sighed and pushed harder into the kiss. I smiled on her lips and pushed equally as hard.

I NEVER wanted it to end!

It was just about time when my lungs started begging for oxygen and I knew we had to end at some point. But I let it last for as long as I can.

Our lips pulled apart, but didn't stray further than an inch from each other. We sucked in breath. My eyes opened a quarter and my head swam making my vision feel hazy. The feeling was insane, like nothing I've ever felt before. I relished the thought of having kissed Bella, and having her kiss me back.

Bella's hands went to my shoulders to support her weight. Her face was flushed. I grinned. Looks like I'm not the only one. Her eyes were still closed and she mumbled something incoherent.

I sniggered. "What?" I whispered.

Her eyes opened slightly. "There are, uhm… those are," she pointed out to the mistletoes on the frame. "That's… f-five… mistletoes," her voice breathless.

Puzzled, I counted them once more to make sure. "Y-yes… five of them…wha-" My eyes grew before her when I started to realize what she was asking for. Could it be?

"F-five mistletoes… five…uhm." She stuttered.

A huge smile broke out my face. I was utterly surprised! Bella…my Bella, the woman I've loved for as long as I can remember _wanted_ to kiss me! "Are you asking for five kisses, Ms. Swan?" I teased her and just when I thought her face couldn't get any redder, it did. My insides jumped in pure joy.

She blinked and avoided my gaze. "W-well, I-I…"

"Sshh," I put my finger on her lips and tilted her chin up gently so I could look into her eyes. They were shining and so were mine. I cradled her soft cheeks with both my hands and looked at her with every ounce of love I could take. "So that was one kiss… here's the two..." I whispered and leaned down once more giving her the sweetest kiss I can manage. I didn't press down hard this time. I made it a soft and gentle press from lip to lip. Her hands went up to my arms as I felt her move her lips with mine. It only lasted a few seconds, but it felt like floating on a cloud. I pulled back to see her staring at me, a smile in her eyes.

Bella's hands went up to my face and pulled me down slowly to meet her lips for a third kiss. She kissed my upper lip and my mouth slowly parted. I kept my eyes open as I watched her kiss my bottom lip. Nothing looked more beautiful than watching this beautiful angel kiss me. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes half-lidded. Her fingers caressed my jaw as she glanced up slowly to meet my eyes. It was soft and short, but I felt it on my spine.

I wanted her to do it again.

She tilted her head to the side and I did the same. Our lips met in another tender kiss and I couldn't help but feel how our mouths fit perfectly. Bella pulled back first this time and whispered, "Three."

I didn't wait more than a few seconds. After she said those words, my mouth came crashing down and this time it was nothing like the first three kisses. This one felt more heated… wanted. My arms wrapped swiftly around her back and hers went around my neck. We pulled each other closer, lips never daring to part one another. Taking the initiative, I moved my mouth slightly to the side, breathing through my nose as I deepened the kiss.

Bella moaned.

_She fucking moaned!_

The sound was enough to send all my blood to a certain southern region. I internally shivered in wonder and despair. No matter how much I didn't want to, I had to stop this before I lose control. Eyes snapping open, I loosened my grip and reluctantly pulled away from the kiss, taking in huge gulps of air as I did so.

Bella's face portrayed a mixture of confusion and sadness. She started backing away from my embrace until I promptly tightened my grip before she got any further. "No," I whispered softly, bringing my hand up to cup her cheek so she would meet me in the eye. I gave her a reassuring smile and rested my forehead upon hers. "Four."

_If only she knew how much she affected me._

Her eyes relaxed and she leaned into my embrace, her hands laying flat on my chest. I felt like I would die if I let go of her right now. We just took a fatal step out of bounds in our friendship, but nothing has ever felt so right.

Those kisses… those four amazing kisses felt like a tidal wave of emotions!

For what it's worth, I was sure she felt it too.

I wanted to tell her.

I wanted to tell her so bad that I love her, but a frog was in my throat. Why am I such a coward? Why can't I just say it?!

A cool hand went up to my forehead and smoothed away the worrying lines that formed. I opened my eyes to find Bella give me a heartening smile, melting away all my negative thoughts. I was always amazed at her ability to calm me.

Her eyes drifted down suddenly and a sad look occupied her beautiful features. It puzzled me.

She must have read my sad expression as a bad thing…

At this moment, I didn't feel like a friend to her. I felt like I was her love.

That feeling was enough to encourage me to do what I was about to do next.

"Bella," I whispered affectionately. I raised her chin with my fingers and drifted them across her smooth cheek. My lips brushed her temple slowly before placing a tender kiss on her cheek. I sensed her soft gasp as I continued placing feather light kisses all around her face. _I wanted to do this forever._ I kissed her cheeks, her temples, her nose, her forehead, her eyelids and made my way down to her jaw, avoiding her lips as I did so.

"Ed-ward…" I heard her breathless voice as her hand came up to caress my neck sending an involuntary shiver down my spine. Her breath came out in short gasps.

Our eyes locked.

"…and five…" I uttered.

As we kissed for the fifth time, our eyes never once parted making the connection a lot stronger, and our kisses more electric. My head spun around like crazy, but it was the kind of vertigo that I never wanted to stop. I relished the feeling of being able to kiss her soft lips for what could be the last time tonight. The thought was distressing. So I made sure that this kiss would last as long as possible.

When I felt her start to pull away, I wrapped my arms around her back, allowed her a gulp of air and quickly continued our kiss with more vigor. She stiffened for a split second before relaxing into my embrace and kissing me with the same equal ardor that I was giving her. I kissed her swollen bottom lip making her lips part and tilted my head to fit my mouth into her now parted lips. She shivered in what I hoped was anticipation. I desperately wanted to go further but this time I let her lead the way…which is why a growl of delight escaped my chest when I felt her tongue lick my mouth, asking for entrance. My eyes stared at her, asking if it was alright. She only responded by pulling me down deeper into the kiss.

_I'll take that as a yes!_

Smiling inwardly, I licked her upper lip asking for entrance just like she did mine, which she granted. My tongue slipped inside of her and I nearly came once I felt both our tongues touch inside her mouth.

_Sweet Lord!_ It felt fucking amazing!

We both moaned in satisfaction as we explored each others mouths. I didn't know the hell of what I was doing since I've never kissed anyone like this before, but with all the sweet sounds to die for that Bella was making, I'm sure I was doing the right thing. She has never tasted as sweet as she did now. I felt like devouring her if I could, but all I could do was press down deeper and kiss her will all the passion I could muster.

I felt her legs give out and I tightened my grip, holding her to me and never wanting to let go.

I stifled a groan when I felt her tongue brush the roof of my mouth. Who knew that it would feel so good! We'd separate for a split second to take in some air but would continue with more fervor as quick as we can.

Heat started building up my chest, making my body warm… a little too warm. It was like I wanted to strip off my woolen winter jacket right then and there, but I knew it would be inappropriate.

Our lips moved in sync. Every time she moved her head, I followed to compliment hers. Every time I moved my head, she followed to compliment mine. Our lips were the perfect match.

_Long live France for inventing the French kiss! _

I knew I would never ever get tired of doing this. In fact, the idea of just getting tired of kissing Bella was more that insane. She was already like a drug to me.

_Bella._

_My own perfect brand of heroin. She's more than anything I've ever wanted. _

We continued kissing on that spot for what seemed like minutes gone by until we slowed down to an even tempo. I forced my eyes to take a look at her before the kiss came to an end and when I did, my heart swelled. _She's so beautiful…_

When her eyelids opened, she seemed to stare at me in wonder. I was mesmerized.

Nothing existed anymore. It was just me and her. We were in our own little world.

We both pulled away gently and I kissed her three…four…five more times on the lips not wanting to leave the sweetness of her lips.

She sighed in contentment and I smiled.

Her lips started to brush up my jaw, sending me in a daze. Fingers tangled themselves in my hair as she drifted light kisses up to my temple. I started doing the same as my nose nuzzled the skin next to her ear.

And before I knew it, the words escaped my mouth…

"I love you, Bella…"

…

_Our breaths hitched._

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**Author's Note:**

**Before you all kill me, let me explain! :D**

**First of all… This chapter is Un-Edited! :D So I'm so sorry for the bad grammar and typo's!**

**I had originally intended Chapter 15 to be longer than this, believe me I had it all planned inside my head but then I realized that the chapter was too long so I split it in half! So I am currently working on the next chapter and I'm halfway done! :D I promise that the update won't last longer than a month! Hmm… the update might actually come a week or two (hopefully). **

**Hehe, I tried making the kissing scene as good as I can. Sorry if it's a little messy (lol). I'm a rookie here! :D**

**PICTURE ON PROFILE: Edward's Christmas Present to Bella (Necklace)**

**Oh, and don't we All LOVE Mistletoe and mischievous Friends!? **

**Love, Love, Love**

**...**

**REVIEW if you want a SNEAK PEAK please :D**

**(the sneak peak will be longer this time to make up for my long absence) :)**

**... **

**Aaaand... please check out my brand new story "The Heart of a Musician" :D**


	16. Those Three Words

**Nyahaha! Sorry I'm a little late :) School just started and I didn't have enough free time as I thought but hey! At least I got to update in less than a month :D**

**The reviews on the last chapter were AWESOME!! You guys really Rock! Words can't express how much I LOVE and APPRECIATE you people!! Whoohoo! :D**

**And now without further ado...**

**Here goes...**

* * *

_Last Chapter…_

_Her lips started to brush up my jaw, sending me in a daze. Fingers tangled themselves in my hair as she drifted light kisses up to my temple. My head turned to give her more access while my hand went up to her neck._

_And before I knew it, the words escaped my mouth…_

"_I love you, Bella…"_

…

_Our breaths hitched._

**Chapter 16: Those Three Words**

**Bella's POV**

_I love you…I love you… I love you, Bella._

The whole world paused as I heard his words echo through a long tunnel. Our movements stilled and we stood like statues locked in an embrace in front of my house door. My heart pounded wildly in my chest.

_Did I just imagine it?_

I started pulling away slowly as his grip on my back loosened. "What?" I asked breathlessly. I expected to meet his eyes but they were downcast as he stood rigid upright. My hands went down from his hair to his shoulders and I heard him take an intake of breath. "Edward…"

"What?" he asked me back.

_Huh?_

I gawked at him and he had this animated look on his face. His eyes were wide and his mouth stood slightly agape. I momentarily stared at his lips and blushed at the thought of just kissing him seconds ago. _Oh my God… he and I were just kissing…_

"D-Did you say something?" I asked nervously.

"What?! I- I didn't uh… I didn't say anything." He replied quickly, his hands leaving my torso.

My eyes narrowed at him. "You- you said something…"

"What? You mean 'I love you'" he answered without effort, as if the words just danced freely in his mouth. There are the words again. Was I just imagining them? Did he just say I love you?

Did he just say those three words???

It was my turn to stand rigid as I stared at him with wide eyes, not knowing what to say. It was then that he started laughing like a mad man, running his hands through his hair. I stared at him in disbelief.

That was unexpected.

His hand went to smack his forehead. "Yeah!" he chuckled. "I love you!"

I let out a breath of apprehension. _What in the world!?_ He's just saying it like it's the simplest words in the universe! My mouth went agape as I looked at him, dumbfounded. My heart beat increased and I felt fluttering spasms in my stomach. _He just said he loved me… and now he's just standing there, smiling like a goof._

Could this be any more bizarre?

Before I could register the fact, Edward took my face in his hands and gave me an unexpected firm kiss on the lips. _Oh God, his lips…_He pulled away quickly before I made a sound of surprise.

"Okay! Bye bye then!" Then he turned and left.

He left…

_He left!?_

My mind couldn't comprehend it! One minute we were kissing, next he told me he loves me then kisses me again and then just waltz's away? My mind screamed!

I guess it could be more bizarre. I stood on the doorstep feeling as confused as ever. What just happened?

"Edward…" his name left my lips in a whisper but he was already out the gate and walking in the middle of the street.

_What in God's name?! How could he do this?! _

Feeling a strong rush of emotions, I swiftly padded my way out to the snowy street and stopped in the middle when I saw his form walking down our drive.

"THAT'S IT?!" I screamed at him furiously, making him turn around to meet me at least fifty feet away down the road.

"WHAT?!" he screamed back, looking at me like I was crazy. We'd probably wake up the neighbors but I didn't care one bit!

"YOU TELL ME THOSE WORDS AND THEN YOU JUST WALK AWAY?" How dare he look at me like I was crazy! He better take a good look at himself.

"WHAT? YOU MEAN 'I LOVE YOU'?" he opened his arms. _There are those words again. _My heart skipped a beat once more. How can he say that and just… act like he's acting now? It's insane!

"YES!" I pointed at him. "Those… THOSE WORDS!"

He took a few steps forward. "WELL I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY! WHAT DO YOU THINK I SHOULD HAVE SAID AFTER THAT?"

I stared at him, aghast. Yes, he's definitely the crazy one here. "I- I DON'T KNOW. ANYTHING!" I shrugged. "ANYTHING BESIDES LEAVING ME THERE LIKE A HOLIDAY LEFTOVER."

He rolled his eyes and threw his hands in the air. "Uh… ALRIGHT THEN. I LOVE YOU, ISABELLA SWAN! I'VE LOVED YOU EVER SINCE WE WERE BORN! AND I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING FOR THE PAST EIGHTEEN YEARS BECAUSE I WAS TOO AFRAID OF LOSING YOU AS A FRIEND! THERE WERE SEVERAL TIMES WHEREIN I TRIED TELLING YOU BUT UNFORTUNATELY SOMETHING WOULD GO IN THE WAY OR A FURBALL GET STUCK IN MY THROAT! YOU HAPPY NOW?"

I stopped walking toward him and felt the air escape me. My hand went to my chest as I felt my eyes beginning to sting. What is he saying? I continued to look at him in disbelief. Is he joking? Because if he is, then I'll never forgive him!

"It's… it's your turn to say something." He said suddenly nervous, shoving his hands into his pockets. We were close enough now to hear each other without screaming, but still around twenty feet apart.

I gulped. "Are… are you mocking me?" I yelled out loud enough for him to hear.

He seemed startled by my question, his expression turning blank just as mine had been before. "Why would I be mocking you?!" he replied as if I had said something bad.

My shoulders shrugged as I took a deep breath. "Well, this conversation seems to be a 'little' out of place don't you think?" I replied, referring to the fact that we were yelling at each other about his 'confession' in the middle of the road at the dead of night with the snow still falling on our shoulders.

One look on his face and I knew that he agreed with me. I mean, who wouldn't?

"I am 'far' from making a joke, Bella. I meant _every_ word." He answered firmly. My heart swelled.

It was then that I felt my blood heat up against the cold weather and I was breathing by the second. "Oh my God…" I whispered to myself.

_He loves me… he just said that he loves me._

My eyes were close to tears. I was afraid that I would wake up and this would all be a dream. He loved me all these years, and didn't say anything. Just like I loved him… but I never planned on telling him. I just wanted it to go away because of my fear of losing him. And now here he is telling me those three wonderful words… and I haven't said anything in return.

I heard him take an intake of breath. "Oh for the love of God, please SAY SOMETHING, Bella." He sounded frustrated.

"I DON'T KNOW… it just seems…" I trailed off, rubbing my temples like I was getting rid of a migraine.

"It just seems what?" he took another step forward, looking at me sadly.

"It just seems… hard to believe." I ended with a miserable voice. It was true though. How could he ever 'love' me? He deserves someone more.

His eyes looked disbelieving. "Why would it seem hard to believe?" his voice almost sent me to tears. He sounded hurt. What am I doing to him?

"Why…" I gasped. "How could you…how could you love me?"

His face turned aggravated and angry. "WHAT?!" he yelled suddenly, taking me by surprise. "YOU REALLY WANT ME TO STAND HERE IN THE DEAD OF WINTER AND TELL YOU ALL THE REASONS WHY I LOVE YOU? Because BELIEVE ME, I'LL DO IT!" he raised a finger. "Bella, all these years _you_ are EVERYTHING I have ever wanted. HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU? Everyone else seems to find out after spending TWO SECONDS with the two of us!"

_Oh, now he's made me angry!_

"WHA- How could 'I' not know!? How could 'YOU' NOT KNOW THAT _'I'M' IN LOVE WITH 'YOU'_!!!"

Edward's eyes grew as wide as saucers while I stopped breathing.

…

My hands went up to cover my mouth. _Oh my God…_ I just said it. In fact, I just screamed it.

I glanced up slowly and found Edward standing rigid like a statue with his mouth agape, staring at me like I had grown two heads. The fog appearing on his mouth told me that he was still breathing and it made me realize that I had yet to take a breath.

A sense of calm waved over me when I realized that I'd just told him that I loved him.

I finally said it…

And I didn't even mean to…

…

**Edward's POV**

I couldn't believe what I was hearing! 'She' is asking me 'how' I could love someone like her!? It made my want to tear my hair out and go crazy. Christ, the woman was insane!

"WHAT!?" I screamed out loud. Bella jumped back in surprise.

This isn't how I imagined our conversation would be. In fact, I didn't expect any of this at all! My mouth said those three words as if it had a mind of its own! I swear my heart stopped beating once I realized what I had just done. My reaction took me by surprise and obviously, her as well. She just stared at me at the doorstep like I'd suddenly turned into some creature with fangs or something. Shocked words came out of her mouth but they weren't what I wanted to hear.

She wasn't saying it back.

I don't know if she ever will.

That's why I felt so riled up. I was so angry and felt like my heart was tearing despite the fact that we just had the five most amazing kisses in the history of mankind! My pride didn't want to show her my sadness, so I let it turn into anger instead.

"YOU REALLY WANT ME TO STAND HERE IN THE DEAD OF WINTER AND TELL YOU ALL THE REASONS WHY I LOVE YOU? BECAUSE BELIEVE ME, I'LL DO IT!" I raised my index finger at her. "Bella, all these years _you_ are EVERYTHING I have _ever_ wanted. HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW THAT I'M IN LOVE WITH YOU? Everyone else seems to find out after spending TWO SECONDS with the two of us!" I screamed, holding up two fingers frustratingly.

She looked at me accusingly and pointed to her chest. "WHA- How could 'I' not know!? How could 'YOU' NOT KNOW THAT _'I'M' IN LOVE WITH 'YOU'_!!!"

…

_What?_

I stood unmoving with my eyes open wide.

_Did she just say what I think she did?_

The scene rewound in my head…

"_How could 'I' not know!? How could 'YOU' NOT KNOW THAT 'I'M' IN LOVE WITH 'YOU'"_

Bella's hands went straight to her mouth, a look of surprise on her features.

_Oh God. She did… she did say it… and I wasn't doing a damn thing!_

My Bella is… in love with me… just as I am in love with her. A wave of emotion shuddered through my whole body; I almost stumbled at the strength of it. I could now see why she asked me how I could love her. It just… all seemed too good to be true. So I had to ask her, even if speaking took an amount of control.

"You…"I managed to croak out. "You love me?" my voice becoming strangely high-pitched.

We stared at each other for what seemed like forever before she took a quick gulp of air and released her hands from her mouth most cautiously. Her lips shuddered. "W-well…I- I just- I just said it didn't I?"

I stared at her again, not believing what I was hearing. It did seem too good to be true… but I wanted to hear the three words from her mouth before assuming anything more.

"Say it again." I said in a low voice.

I heard her take an intake of breath as her arms stiffened by her side. "Say what?" she asked nervously.

My jaw clenched as I swallowed thickly. "Say the words."

"What words?"

Her fake obliviousness started to aggravate me! "Those… Those words! Those three damn words! I want to hear you sa-"

"I LOVE YOU!!!" she yelled out, taking me by surprise!

I stood rigid on my spot yet again, swallowing the words that she had just yelled to me, only a frog got stuck in my throat.

"There! You HAPPY!? I LOVE YOU, EDWARD CULLEN!!! I've loved you for a long time and I didn't dare say anything too because I was afraid of losing the most important person in my life, and guess who… that's YOU!" she pointed at me, almost accusingly like a child. The sight was almost amusing.

My brain tried registering the fact that we had loved each other all these years but was too afraid to say anything because we feared losing each other.

We were the same.

To think that I had spent my years hiding my feelings for her when she had been holding the same feelings as me. If only I had said anything… or if she had said anything before, we would be together long after this present time!

I just couldn't believe it. I pinched myself on the arm to make sure that I wasn't dreaming. Pure joy radiated through my entire being but my outside couldn't show it!

Before I knew it, Bella curtsied… wait a minute… curtsied?

She looked at me with a straight face and raised chin. "GOODNIGHT!" she yelled.

With her final word, I watched in pure astonishment as she sprinted quickly to her doorstep and entered her house, leaving me hanging outside in the middle of the road at the dead of winter under the falling snow.

…

SHE LEFT?

"What the hell!" I said to the empty road. It's like déjà-vu except the roles were reversed! "Oh no you don't! This conversation does not end here!" I growled before running as quickly as I could to her front porch to face her inside. When I turned the doorknob, I felt that it was locked. A groan escaped me as I banged my fist on the door… quite loudly in fact.

"Bella! I know you're there! Open the door!"

I heard movements inside and the door unlocking before Bella faced me with the door open half-way. "WHAT!? She asked, obviously infuriated. Why in the world is she acting mad? I was the one she left hanging in the middle of the bloody street!

And that was when our _little_ argument started:

"You tell me you love me and then you just leave me in the middle of the road!?"

"Well, you're not too shabby yourself, mister! You did the exact same thing to me not ten minutes ago!"

"That was because you weren't saying anything!" I stomped my foot like a child. "So I guess I misinterpreted your silence the wrong way! I'm sorry I'm not a mind-reader!"

"Hey! You didn't say anything too after I told you those three words!"

"What three words?!"

"The 'I LOVE YOU' words!"

"Oh so you DO love me after all?! Thanks for leaving me on the street!" I said sarcastically.

She groaned in frustration. "Oh, I could just hit you in the head! What more proof do you need that I love you!? Do you want me to scream it out so I can wake up all the neighbors? Oh wait a minute! Aha! I already did that! I guess you're just waiting for me to broadcast it on OPRAH!"

"Oh, so NOW you're trying to be funny huh? GREAT THEN! So I guess the bottom line is that you love me."

"Yes! And you love me."

"Yes I do! Do you believe that I love you now?!"

"Yes I do believe you now!" she swallowed.

"So we BOTH love each other!"

"It seems like it, Einstein!"

"Alright then! Are you happy that I love you and you love me?!"

"Happiest I've ever been in my entire life! And you?!"

"Same here! Do you mind if I do something I've wanted to do ever since you told me you loved me?!"

"What is it!?"

"KISS YOU!"

"Not after you tell me _those_ three words!"

"Fine! I LOVE YOU!"

"Okay! I LOVE YOU TOO!"

"Yeah? Well, I'm gonna kiss you now!"

"Well, I'm gonna kiss you too!"

Without uttering another word, I grabbed her face and kissed her with everything I can! Her arms wrapped around my neck as she kissed me with equal passion. I pushed us both inside the house, swiftly kicking the door shut behind us before wrapping my arms around her back and hoisting her legs around my hips. The need of physical connection was too strong for both of us to control.

In that one moment, we let out all the frustrations of all the years of loving each other and not being able to express it!

My tongue slipped inside hers as we battled for dominance inside her mouth. We moaned in unison at the contact that I lurched forward by accident and ended up banging her against the wall. A groan escaped her. I pulled away for a split second. "Sor-…" before I could ask if she was alright, she pulled me back to her lips and continued sucking on my upper lip. I guess there's no time for apologies, not that I was complaining.

I let the wall hold her up as my hands explored her upper body and went up to caress her face. We breathed through our noses in the kiss. We just didn't want it to end. But I didn't want us to do it here in the doorway where we may be discovered any minute.

I gripped her waist once again before peeking an eye open to find the stairs. I tried desperately to continue kissing her as I walked up the stairs in haste. I moaned into her lips when we finally reached the top.

We continued breathing words of love between kisses.

As I opened the door to her room, her legs released their grip on my waist and landed on the ground as if she read my mind. Even as our lips never parted, we started peeling away our heavy coats, scarves and shoes before resuming our previous position, her long legs around me.

"I love you…Edward." She whispered softly as I placed heavy kisses down her slender neck. I would never get tired of her saying that.

"Love you…(kiss)…Bella…(kiss)…so…(kiss)…much." I started walking toward the bed.

She sighed above me and placed sweet kisses down the side of my face. Once I felt my knees hit the side of the bed, I brought us down gently across the soft sheets, with my body on top as I pulled us up higher so Bella's head rested on the pillow.

Bella pulled my entire body flush against her as we continued our kiss. My one arm rested on the mattress so I wouldn't crush her fragile form as the other daringly went down to her legs. My lower body rested between hers. As Bella bended her knees, her dress rode up higher. I caressed the smooth expanse of skin along her thigh, making her moan in delight.

Her hands went from my hair down to my back, running her hands around it with the irritating cloth standing in the way.

A growl escaped me wanting more. I pulled away from the kiss and moved my hands to unbutton my shirt. Bella seemed eager as well by helping me quickly discard the unwanted material to the floor. I leaned on my hands towering above her as Bella traced my bare skin with her gentle fingers. Electricity was produced by her every touch. My eyes closed and my jaw clenched in desperation of control. I was getting hard as it is.

I immediately stopped her hands by grabbing her wrists and pulling her to sit up so I could capture her lips as her legs straddled me. Her hands went around my back, continuing their exploration and stroking up and down my spine. A shudder radiated throughout my body. _How is she doing that?_

The entire time, we kept our eyes open and on each other, amazed at the love that was pouring out of each one of us. Bella's eyes were always so expressive.

Now I know _that_ look; that look that always puzzled me. How could I have not known that it was love? She'd give me that look at least once every single day. I held her tighter against me and kissed her more passionately once I realized it.

We pulled away for a small moment, our foreheads resting against each other and we tried to control our heavy breathing. My hands went up to her temples before brushing the bangs away from her face. She imitated my action before running her hands through my scalp. My eyes involuntarily closed at the euphoric feeling.

"I love you, Bella." I whispered with everything in me.

Smiling, she gave me a quick kiss on the lips before replying, "I love you too, Edward… with all my heart."

I felt like the luckiest guy in the planet. It felt immensely good to say the words, and twice better to hear her say it back!

I leaned forward to catch her lips in mine and not once did we glance anywhere else. Her tongue brushed over my lips, asking for entrance, which I completely granted. My head tilted to fit our mouths more properly as our tongues stroked each other slowly.

My hands continued stroking the smooth skin along her legs. I felt the goosebumps rise from her skin, making me smile. Her hands came over mine, making me look at her in puzzlement. She just smiled, guiding my hands higher up her leg. My eyes widened when my fingers brushed a silken material.

_She is going to be the death of me._

Suppressing a groan, I lay us back down on the bed and kissed her more feverishly before coming down to place open mouthed kisses along her neck and collar bone. Bella moaned, gripping my hair and arching her neck to give me more access. It turned me on even more.

I continued my descent while my hands slowly hitched her dress up to her stomach. I went slowly just to make sure so she could stop me if she thought I was pushing her limit. I made it all the way up to her belly button and her only reply was a deep lustrous sigh. I leaned back slightly to gaze at her perfectly flat stomach and her white lace panties continued by her long creamy legs.

My body shivered in delight. She was perfect.

My hands brushed firmly down her sides as I placed several kisses down her stomach. Bella's hands came to rest on my hair, brushing her fingers through it in a way that made me dizzy. As my right hand came into contact with something on her hip, my eyes narrowed as I lifted my head to inspect it. I almost gasped.

There on the left side of Bella's hip were several red marks, almost like scars and fading skin discoloration. My fingers traced over them gently as my expression saddened. I remember hearing that Bella's left side was severely bruised from the accident, but I thought they would have faded by now.

Bella suddenly tensed beneath me and sat up to her elbows, swiftly bringing down her dress to shield them from my eyes. "They look horrible…" It was the first time tonight she avoided my gaze. The downcast look on her face brought a pang to my heart.

"No Bella," I held her face in my hands. Once I got her eye contact back, I placed a sweet kiss on her lips before riding her dress back up so I could see the wounded marks. I brought my head down and kissed her several times on the spot before facing her, my chin resting on her stomach. She looked at me amorously. "You could be covered in scorches and burns for all I care…but that wouldn't make me love you any less."

Her face blushed with her famous crimson color. Her finger traced my hairline softly. "How could you be so perfect?" she whispered.

A dopey grin appeared on my face and I took her hand in mine, kissing it. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you the same question."

Bella chuckled. Leaving the cheerless moment behind us, I crawled up to her again and nipped on her bottom lip. I felt her smile before she pulled me closer and momentarily brushed her tongue inside the contours of my mouth. I sighed contently.

Bella shifted on her spot, making us both sit up a little more. Her arms crossed over her stomach and I leaned back, wondering what she was doing. Her hands gripped the ends of her dress and pulled it above her shoulders. I sat frozen as she set her dress down to the floor, leaving her clad in only her white bra and matching panties. My whole body tensed as I eyed her perfect body up and down. My breathing came out in short gasps as my heart raced, taking her in. She eyed me cautiously, her blush spreading down her perfect chest.

_So beautiful…_

Bella's hands suddenly cupped my chin and pulled me in for a kiss. She guided my arms to wrap around her almost naked form and used her legs to pull me in closer. We both moaned at the bare contact of our skin. Her bra-clad breasts pressed fully against my chest, making me lust for her all the more.

Her head fell onto the pillow as our kisses grew more and more deep. My hands ran down the sides of her torso, making her gasp and shiver. I was sure she could feel my erection pressing against her, but apparently shame was tossed out the window for tonight.

I almost made a sound of irritation at the itchy material of my pants and I was craving for closer contact already. Without breaking our kiss, my hands went down to undo my belt. Upon hearing the buckle, Bella reached down, helping me as she pulled it off with one swing of her arm. _Damn it to hell!_

My pants joined our discarded clothes on the floor at the next minute and I was left in nothing but my boxers. The bare contact of our skin was nothing like I've ever experienced before.

Bella's legs bended higher so they practically straddled my hips. I leaned my hands onto the mattress for support as I crept up higher to her body, making my erection hit her on the right spot by accident.

A delicious wave of pleasure came over us as we both moaned simultaneously. We broke our kiss for a little while; our ragged breathes filling the silence in the air. Our hips however, didn't move an inch. My teeth gritted at the idea of Bella and I being separated only by the thin cloth of our underwear, and through the thin cloth, I felt a little wetness which made me grow harder even more.

_Fuck!_

I wasn't one to curse but hell!

We knew that if neither of us moved, we'd feel it again. Unable to handle it, my hips bucked forward unintentionally and sure enough, we both felt a wave of pleasure. My body couldn't stand it! Control was wearing thin for me at this point. Bella gasped underneath me, pulling me closer, making me move above her again.

"Edward," she whispered my name. It was like unlocking a trigger.

A growl erupted from my chest. "Bella," I groaned, descending my lips upon hers and probing my tongue with hers. _So damn delicious!_

Our hips started a little tempo, gradually going faster by the second. Bella pulled away from the kiss and immediately breathed in through her mouth. My head went to her neck, nuzzling her smooth skin as I continued grinding my hips against hers. Sweet moans came out of Bella's mouth, making me hold on to her tighter and move faster against her. Her hands went around my shoulders, her nails digging into my back as her body tensed.

_Christ, it felt so good!_

…

**Bella's POV**

My hips started grinding against Edward's in return as I felt a knot getting tighter inside my stomach. "Oh God…" a moan escaped me. I could feel him through the thin material that was separating us. From that, I already knew that was large. It pressed against my wet core in a most euphoric way, sending numerous waves of pleasure throughout my body. I never wanted it to stop.

It was unlike anything I have ever felt before. Unable to hold on to anything else, I dug my fingers into the contours of Edward's back, only hoping that I wouldn't hurt him.

I could hear Edward's grunts as he rested his head at the side of my neck, holding on to me for dear life. I felt fragile underneath his form yet comforted and protected at the same time. It was like a perfect balance.

Our breathing started to get more ragged as the tension inside me built up. It was the strongest and most wonderful feeling I've ever felt. My mind couldn't come up with anything coherent and all I could do was utter his name. "Edward…"

As Edward bit my neck by surprise, my eyes widened and I gave a huge gasp, feeling the knot release. I let out a silent scream as my muscles tightened in utter bliss and delight, a wetness building up in my core! Letting out a sound of pleasure, my entire body shivered for a few seconds before falling dead on the covers.

Edward gave a loud grunt on my shoulder. I felt him grasp my shoulders tightly, his body trembling for a moment before falling slack and exhausted on top of me. His weight on mine was comforting. My arm clung around his back, feeling the thin sheen of sweat. The thought was unethical! One minute we were confessing our love, devouring each other with kisses and now experienced orgasms with each other.

_Who cares? It feels so right._ My mind spoke.

I managed to make a small smile.

I've never experienced dry humping before but… for the love of God! It felt amazing! If this was what dry humping felt like, I wondered what it would be when we actually have sex.

_Oh bugger! Don't think ahead yet Bella._

We breathed heavily for a few minutes, feeling our chests rise and fall at the amount of air we were taking in. I felt so tired I could barely open my eyes. I felt Edward move from my neck. He placed a lingering kiss on my lips as I tried prying my eyes open. I managed to get them up half-way and noticed Edward smiling above me. My heart melted at the sight. His forehead rested upon mine, our nosing brushing against each other. His hand brushed away the sweaty bangs from my face and I was surprised that we were able to sweat through the cold temperature of the room. I wanted to brush his hair away from his face too, but my body was too tired to even cooperate with my brain so I puckered a kiss on his lips instead.

_How can he still move?_

"Bella?" he asked.

"Mm?" I answered, still a little breathless.

"I have some clothes here right?"

I stared at him amusedly before realizing that his boxers were… well, you know. He did come in them. I chuckled silently and nodded my head. Edward and I have had countless sleepovers over time so we thought it best to have a few of our clothes in each others rooms. "It's on the bottom drawer of the dresser inside my cabinet." I answered him.

"Okay." He smiled and placed another kiss on my lips before slowly leaving my body to walk across the room. I instantly felt the coldness hitting my skin as he left. I already craved for his warm body, but I didn't have the force to stand. If I remember correctly, I was already exhausted when we left Edward's parent's house.

I knew I didn't have any more energy left in me.

"Bella, love?" I felt Edward's hands snake around my waist and pull me up. As I leaned into his chest, I realized that he was already clothed in a sleeping shirt and sweat pants. Either he dressed up fast or I dozed off for a few minutes. I almost groaned in complaint. I loved having his bare skin pressed against mine. "I brought you a shirt." He whispered to my ear.

I felt the familiar rush of blood to my face. _Right, I'm still quite naked._

My eyes opened lazily as Edward helped me get into my night shirt. As my hands poked out of the sleeves, Edward set me down to the bed gently. He knew I was tired. A second later, I felt him raise a pair of sweats up my legs. My heart warmed at what he was doing. _How can he be so sweet? _I raised my hips for a second so he could pull it up all the way. As he finished, he lay down beside me and I managed to give him a soft kiss. "Thank you." I whispered to his lips.

He pecked my lips one more time. "Your welcome." We couldn't seem to get enough of kissing.

I tried moving to my side so I could huddle in closer but my bra made it uncomfortable to move. "Damn." I uttered to myself, hands trying to reach my back to undo the clasp.

"What is it?" Edward asked, leaning up on his elbow.

I shook my head quickly. "Uh, it's nothing. I can do it."

"Bella, I can do it. What is it?" he insisted.

Another blush crept up my face. Oh God… this is embarrassing. "Uhm, it's… it's just a little uncomfortable sleeping in uh, you know… a bra…" I said sheepishly.

Edward's eyes widened slightly. "Uh… I, I think I can do that… yeah?" he nodded and vigilantly brought his hands to my back, slipping it under my shirt. Goosebumps erupted from my skin after coming to contact with his hands. I felt his fingers shake slightly as they reached the clasp of my bra. It took him about five seconds to take it off. I didn't realize that I was holding my breath the entire time.

I silently thanked Alice for letting me wear a strapless bra tonight. Edward slipped it out of my shirt with ease and placed it somewhere behind me. I could care less where he placed it. The blush still didn't leave my face. "Thanks."

He pulled the blanked over our bodies as I snuggled closer to him, feeling a yawn coming.

Edward's hand went up to brush my hair away from my face. I could barely keep my eyes open but I gave him a loving look and stroked the hand on my cheek.

He gave a lopsided grin. "You're exhausted, Bella. Go to sleep…" he whispered.

My body was telling me to follow, but my mind said otherwise. I didn't want to sleep.

I didn't want this night and this moment to end. What if I woke up and this would all be a dream? I couldn't handle it if it was. I wanted to stay awake and tell him everything.

Edward, noticing the stress on my face, came closer so our heads were inches apart. "What's wrong?" his voice worried.

I brushed my lips against his palm before locking at his gaze drowsily. "I don't want to fall asleep." I said softly.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"

I looked at him sadly and admitted, "What if I wake up in the morning and this is all just a dream?"

Edward gave me a warm look before shifting in his side of the bed. I watched languidly as he lifted my shoulders and settled his arm underneath them so I lay directly on top his chest. His other hand traced my hairline, making my eyes close at the sluggish feeling it was producing. I instantly felt the warmth. "Tell you what," he said. "When you wake up in the morning and find me still asleep, _kiss me_. Then you'll know it's not a dream."

A smile crept up my face as I turned to look at him. "And if you wake up before me?"

He smirked. "_I _might think it's a dream."

My smile grew even larger. "Kiss me…" I whispered. Smiling, his lips descended and brushed over mine most lovingly as his thumb stroked my cheek. _I would never tire of his kisses._

"I'll kiss you when I wake up." He said to my lips.

I nodded drowsily and let my head drop to his chest, sighing contently as I did so.

I felt his lips on my forehead. "I love you, Bella."

His words brought pure joy to my heart and I couldn't help but smile. "I love you too, Edward…"

Those were our last words before I drifted off to sleep, only thinking of the love I have for Edward, and the love he has for me.

…

**Edward's POV**

I woke up the next morning from the most slumberous sleep I've had in years. Sunlight seeped in through the white curtains of Bella's window making my eyes settle upon the beautiful angel asleep on my chest, our legs tangled underneath the sheets. A large smile spread my face.

I breathed in the scent of her hair as last night's activities came rushing back.

_My Bella loves me._

I still couldn't believe it. But then here I am waking up with my beloved best friend in my arms and her hands sprawled across my chest.

After all this time little did I know that my best friend was actually in love with me the same way I love her. How lucky am I to have such a wonderful woman love me? It made me realize that we had yet to talk about this.

Last night was like a spur of the moment, not that I was complaining! I very much would want to repeat last night's activities but I knew there were other things to discuss. She's just perfect in every way. Just by recalling our kisses and the way we touched last night made my dick twitch in anticipation. Sure I've jerked off before but what we did last night was nothing compared to it. If that is how we feel by dry humping, I started to wonder what it would be like when I actually have sex in the future.

_I mean… we are going to do it right? _

Just the thought of having her naked underneath me as we make love made my body shiver.

_Damn! Slow down, Edward._

The way we confessed our feelings last night was nothing like I ever imagined. I hoped we didn't wake up any neighbors with our yelling and such. A smile crossed my face in utter amusement as I replayed the scene in my head. The kisses under the five mistletoes, the way how I suddenly left when I blurted out the words by accident, our confrontation in the middle of the street, the way how she screamed that she loved me too… all up to our lips attacking each other on her door and the action here on her bed.

A silent chuckle reverberated in my chest.

I couldn't remember loving her more than I do now…

As I chuckled, Bella stirred on my chest, her head moving up to my neck, burrowing herself further into me. She's even more adorable in her sleep. Her breath tickled the skin on my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

Eyeing the clock on the nightstand, I knew it was time to get up.

I softly cupped Bella's cheek with my hand and looked at her lovingly. She leaned into my touch as she always did and gave a small moan. My heart filled with so much love and adoration I felt like I could burst from it all.

It was only on rare days that I get to wake up before Bella in bed. Since she'd always wake me up in strangely different ways, I always plan on having my revenge on her whenever I woke up first in the morning, but before that, I'd always cherish staring at her features as she slept soundly.

This morning is different however.

Nothing would be holding me back anymore.

My fingers traced down her temple like a feather on silk.

There would be no more hesitations for me to touch her like I'm doing now. I could hold her in my arms with without restriction and kiss her awake. I've always wanted to kiss her awake. There were some rare days back then when I would almost touch her lips with mine, but I'd pull away, startled, before closing the last inch.

Now, I couldn't believe that I have my chance. Without wasting another second, my mouth came to meet her lips in a tender kiss, just as I had told her I would do before we drifted off to sleep. I let my lips linger for a moment before pulling away. I watched as Bella's eyes fluttered open and glance around for a few seconds before landing them on me. She blinked once or twice before a drowsy smile surfaced her face.

My face brimmed with excitement.

"Hey." She said.

I brushed the hair that had fallen away from her face. "Hey, good morning."

Bella closed her eyes and took a deep breath, the smile never leaving her face. "Am I still dreaming?" she said sluggishly.

_Trust me. If anyone is dreaming here, it would be me._

I grinned at her and whispered to her ear, "Kiss me…"

Leaning back, I found Bella staring before settling her hand upon my cheek. We met each other half-way through the kiss. I was thankful to have Bella fall asleep on my chest last night. It made wrapping my arms around her easier.

I thought, with her and I being friends for life and all, that it would be awkward if we kissed for the first time but it wasn't even close to being that.

It felt so right.

Kissing Bella in the morning was one of my new favorite things to do.

The kiss lasted only a few seconds but it was not less incredible than the ones we had the previous night.

Bella chuckled next to me as our noses bumped. I chuckled along with her. "See? It's not a dream." I said.

She just looked at me and smiled. "I love you."

As she said those words, peace spread through my entire being like a wave. I would never tire hearing those words from her lips and my heart kept on screaming like a mad man! I gave her a passionate kiss, her hands weaving through my hair and softly spoke to her lips the three words I've been dying to tell her for the past eighteen years. "I love you too."

Our lips kept on meeting each other for the next few minutes, unable to get enough.

You can't really blame us really.

We were finally letting out years of teenage hormones and frustrations, which was the result of us not telling each other how we really felt.

Okay, maybe you can blame us.

But it wasn't until Bella was on top of me and my hands were inside her shirt did I realize that we had to stop before we went too far.

I groaned before pulling away from her soft lips, rolling over so she would be on my side again. "Bella wait…" I sighed. "We need to talk about this."

Her palm rested over my chest as she looked at me with a blank expression.

"Oh no! No…" I chuckled. "That's not what I meant. I meant…" I looked elsewhere, trying to find the words. "I just want us to-"

"Talk." Bella finished for me, nodding her head with a smile. "Yes, I suppose we do need to talk don't we?"

"Yes. I mean…" I settled my body on top of hers, leaning on my elbows. "We practically jumped on each other last night that we didn't even get to know… how we've… you know, spent the past eighteen years loving each other and not even telling."

Bella laughed underneath me, rubbing her hands up and down my side. "Alright, since you're _on top_, why don't you go first?" she said almost seductively. My eyes widened slightly.

_Bella being seductive…Mm, I can get used to this. _

"Hmm..." I nuzzled her face and went down to place a gentle kiss on her neck. Her breath hitched and I instantly saw her skin blush crimson. I smiled. _Two can play this game. _"Alright. There isn't that much to say though." I said.

Bella looked at me disbelievingly. "Oh really? Eighteen years and you don't have much to say?"

"Well, to put it bluntly, yes. Here's the thing… Ever since we were kids, I already knew that you were going to be the girl I'd spend forever with." With that, I already noticed the shock on her face, making me smirk. "As we grew up, the feeling only started to get stronger and I had no worries because I thought you felt the same way. But then we became teenagers and things started to get more… complicated. A lot of boys eyed you in class and it would always make me furious, especially since you were so oblivious to it."

"Hey, I am not oblivious. It's you who has to realize that these boys just happen to look my way."

I chuckled. "See what I mean." She was about to cut me off again but I silenced her with a kiss. "Just lay back and listen okay? No talking until I finish?" _Wow, I can use the silent kiss treatment now!_

She gave a sigh and nodded.

"Anyway, that's when I first started to realize that you might fall in love with someone else… and I didn't have the right to get angry or jealous because we never made anything official between us, besides the 'best friend' pact of course. Fifth grade came and we learned about this so called 'friend zone'… and I thought that I was in deep shit. That's when I realized that I had to tell you soon so I wouldn't lose you to someone else. At first I was deathly afraid. You might not answer me back and I couldn't bear the thought of things becoming uncomfortable between us so I kept it to myself and believe me it was not easy. I thought it was my luck when you didn't get a boyfriend for the next few years. You have no idea how nervous I would feel whenever you went out on a date with some guy."

Bella smiled, a twinkle in her eyes but she kept silent, waiting for me to finish. I sneaked her a kiss before continuing.

"I knew my feelings for you would never go away. Every time I would try telling you, something would come up or a frog would get stuck in my throat. Puberty was a hard time." I chuckled. "Every time I saw you, all I wanted to do was pull you tight and kiss you senselessly. I tried staying away from you more, physically, but I couldn't handle it. My body just wasn't meant to stay away from you for long periods of time." My fingers brushed her temple and it was her turn to sneak me a kiss.

"I tried doing something productive in those years though. I tried figuring out if ever you had the same feelings for me and every time I thought you did, doubts would enter my mind and I'd say that best friends do that to each other too. I'd even ask our friends for help but things never left me satisfied. They kept on telling me that I should just tell you how I feel but whenever I'd ask them if they knew anything of your… well, 'feelings' or intentions of me, they'd always keep silent or change the subject and it made me worry even more. When we turned sixteen, I began planning on days wherein I would tell you how I really felt but I'd keep on postponing it to a later date either because something would come up or I'd be back out at the last second."

I looked at her straight in the eye and breathed in. "Remember that one night when I visited you in your room? I told you that I was voted captain of the team and I didn't think I deserved it?"

Bella looked at me intently then nodded.

I sighed and rested my forehead upon hers. "My feelings grew a lot stronger for you that day on. And at the last game of our senior year when we won the Soccer Tournament, I just knew that I had to tell you soon… before we left for College. I planned everything, what I was going to say, where I was going to do it, when I was going to do it… but then…on the day itself, you…" my eyes went downcast as my face held a sad expression. I haven't thought of that day in a long time. I guess I was just too afraid to look back. When I didn't continue my words, Bella interpreted it.

"Had the accident." Bella said softly under me, her face holding the same expression as mine. She held my face in her hands. "You were going to tell me that night… but my accident happened?"

Taking a deep breath, I smoothed her forehead. "Don't be sad, love. It's all in the past. All that matters is now remember?" I assured her.

"But, I just can't believe it. I'm so sor-…" I silenced her again with a kiss.

"No buts… it's in the past." I gave her a look of loving, but her eyes were still sad. A lopsided smirk appeared on my face. "And besides…our 'confrontation' yesterday… I wouldn't have it done any other way."

I watched as her sad expression became amused. She laughed, pulling me tighter against her body. "Me too." She whispered sincerely. "But I have to ask, what did you have planned for me all those months ago?"

I thought for a second. "Now that… is a secret!" I smirked.

"Wha-? Come on, I want to know."

I shook my head smugly.

"Edwa-"

I cut her off by placing another kiss on her lips. We both chuckled into the kiss. As I pulled away, Bella threw her head back on the pillow, making a whiny sound. "Oh, you're going to use that kiss as a silent call all the time now aren't you?"

I laughed and kissed her again. "Yes, so learn to live with it!" I said, capturing her lips again. Like I said, I can't get enough of her!

"I can't believe you loved me this entire time…" she uttered, looking at me in wonder as her eyes sparkled.

"Well believe it then." I replied in a husky voice before resuming our kiss.

Bella made delicious moaning sounds which made we want to kiss her even more. We breathed through our noses, as I tilted my head to deepen our lip lock. My hands inched up her nightshirt as hers dug themselves into my hair. As things started to heat up, Bella straddled my waist and rolled us over, chuckling. She settled her weight on top of me as I hugged her even closer, roaming my hands through the softest skin under her shirt. As my hands stroked down her hips, she shivered and sighed into the kiss. I smiled inwardly. _There's a weak spot I haven't found before. _

And I wanted to learn more…

Bella pulled away unexpectedly before taking a deep long breath. "Okay. It's my turn now…" she said breathlessly.

I smirked. "Alright. You're the one on top now. Please be my guest." I said teasingly, earning a little hit on my chest.

"Come on, Edward." She smiled. "No talking okay." She tapped my lips with her forefinger and I nodded, settling my hands on her lower back.

She took a deep sigh. "Alright. Where to start? Hmm, perhaps on my sixth birthday?"

I quirked my brow. "Sixth birthday?"

She looked at me straight in the eye. "Shush, I'm talking."

I chuckled.

"Okay. My sixth birthday… well, before that of course I already considered you my bestest friend in the world, but after you gave me that cute little thing," she glanced at the wooden lion I made for her all those years ago. "I started thinking of you as something 'more' than a best friend, but I couldn't put a name to it." She brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "Every single day, I felt so lucky to have you in my life. It even came to a point when I couldn't imagine not having you with me everyday. And yes… puberty wasn't the easiest time for me too." We both smiled. "I started feeling… strange every time I looked at you. Sometimes I'd even stare without knowing." She blushed. "Back then, I'd always think 'what in the world am I doing?'. Unfortunately, I wasn't as smart as you… I was fourteen when I first made it official that I had a crush on you."

"Fourteen!?" I suddenly blurted out in astonishment. "And here I was thinking that you liked me way before that."

Bella chuckled, dropping her head on my chest. "Would you just please listen first?" she mumbled. I raised her head gently.

"Alright. I'm sorry. I won't interrupt anymore. Go on…" I smiled.

She sighed and rested her chin over her crossed arms over my chest. "I said I made it 'official' when I was fourteen. But long way before that, I was in the 'pre-crush' stage. It means that I'd have that fluttery feeling whenever I see you but deny that I ever felt anything. When we were fourteen, do you remember that day when I found that _note_ lying around in English class?"

_The damned note that's now rotting in hell? _

I nodded.

"You comforted me on that day and everything you said made me realize that I had been in denial for a long time. I felt horrible and terrified because for some reason, I knew that you would never feel_ that_ way about me."

My eyes narrowed. _How can she think that?_

"I guess a part of me was saying that you deserved so much better." She whispered.

A sting hit my heart when I heard her say those words. I wanted to tell her right then that I couldn't imagine living my life with anyone other than her, but I knew I had to keep silent for now. So instead of talking, I pulled her gently up my body and brushed my lips from her forehead down to the bridge of her nose. I felt her sigh on top of me.

"From that day on, I hoped that my feelings would go away no matter how much it hurt to even think it. There were some instances wherein I thought you would notice that I fancied you, so to cover it up… I went out on dates that I hated to begin with." She smirked. "I guess they worked."

I looked up when she said that and couldn't help but feel relieved. _Oh thank God! I didn't have to worry about the dates after all._

"And then," she continued, "when we had that fight…"

I hugged her closer as Bella's face fell into sadness. We've had several fights in our past of course, the ones you could get over with within a few hours or the next day. But there was one particular fight that stood out among the rest.

"I remember feeling so scared. I thought that things would really change between us for the worst. That one week was the most agonizing and painful week of my life."

_Me too, Bella. Me too…_

"I thought I would lose you and I couldn't stand it. But when we finally made up, I just realized that…" she trailed off.

I raised her chin to look at me. "That what?"

She looked at me dejectedly. "That I could never tell you how I feel."

I blinked.

"You just… mean so much to me that the idea of risking our friendship for my feeling's sake wasn't worth it. If that fight was enough to drive us apart like that then I didn't even want to think of what might happen if I told you."

I shook my head. "Bella, it was a stupid fight-…"

"I know." She replied. "I know that now…" she chuckled softy, placing a soft kiss on my lips. Drowning all my tension away.

She took a deep breath. "Then we were sixteen." She smiled. "I remember that day like it was yesterday. It was the day you had your first fist fight in the locker rooms."

I squinted suddenly. _Oh yeah, I remember that day._

She spoke her words slowly. "That was the day I 'officially' realized that I was in love with you."

I stared at her, surprised. _The day I punched James Rogers was the day she realized that she loved me!?_

She laughed at my expression. "Yes, I can see why that would be surprising. It just occurred to me randomly. We were out in our backyard porch and you were asking me to come with you to explain to your parents. It's just the way how you calmed me. I was sitting there in that bench for several minutes crying my eyes out and when you sat beside me…I just felt so peaceful and comforted and all you had to do was touch my hand."

Her gaze hypnotized me.

"Time passed by and I realized that I've loved you my whole life but only failed to realize it sooner. It just explained everything I've been feeling towards you." Her lips descended on mine as she spoke. "I was scared… but now I know that I have nothing to be afraid of…"

Our lips brushed. "The feeling is mutual, Bella. Believe me."

My hand went to the back of her head to pull her down to me. Our lips met in a feverish kiss that lasted for God knows how long.

All that mattered at that time was our love for each other.

The blanket fell to the floor as I lay on top of her, my elbows resting on either side of her to avoid crushing her small form. Her hands wandered its way under my shirt, running her fingers through the muscles of my back, making me groan in pleasure. I felt a slight tugging on my shirt before I leaned back swiftly to take it off and discard it to the floor.

Electricity sparked everywhere Bella touched my skin. My lips descended to her neck, placing wet kisses down her jaw as I went. I already knew that it was a weak spot of hers. The sound of her ragged breathing was enough to make me hard.

My fingers brushed under her shirt, stroking the soft skin of her stomach before inching up to her exposed ribcage.

I felt her breathing get heavier by the second as I inched up her shirt…

…

**Bella's POV**

My whole body turned into goo as Edward trailed kisses down my neck, his fingers stroking my stomach underneath my shirt. Fire ignited his every touch on my skin, making my eyes roll the back of my head and my breathing get more ragged than it already was. _It felt so good…_

His hands inched up my ribcage. My torso shivered in delight and a moan escaped me. "Edward…" I whispered his name.

Something must have triggered within him. He made a loud groan on my neck before capturing my lips in another rough and passionate kiss, his tongue entering my mouth with fervor. My fingers fisted in his hair to keep him close.

His fingers brushed the underside of my breasts, making my eyes snap open abruptly. I tried pulling away to talk to him, but his hand was behind my head, locking me into our kiss. I tried talking into the kiss but his lips were pressed so firmly against mine that all I could do was let out a moan.

Taking it as a good sign, Edward's hand trailed higher to my chest. A tiny squeak escaped me and that's what caught his attention. His eyes opened widely as he suddenly pulled away. I took in a much needed gulp of air before talking, "Edward…I-…" just then, we both lost our balance.

Little did we know that we were already hanging on the edge of the bed and we both made a sound of surprise before falling down to the carpeted floor. Edward landed on the duvet that had fallen during our little parade of kissing and I ended up on top of him.

I silently thanked God for soft carpeted floors.

We stared at each other for a moment before breaking into laughter. My legs straddled his waist as I held his head. "Oh, are you okay?" I smiled.

He chuckled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Are you?"

"Yes, well, you kind of broke my fall." I said, kissing him.

He sighed below me, tucking my hair behind my ear. "I wasn't talking about the fall…"

A frown came to my face. I hated myself for having to say this, but when his hand almost came to touch my bare breasts, it was like an alarm came off inside me. I groaned and dropped my head to his shoulder. "Please don't get mad." I mumbled almost incoherently.

His chest vibrated from his chuckle. "Why would I get mad? It's alright, Bella. You can tell me anything." He brought us up to a sitting position and I was now sitting on his lap with my legs still on either side of him.

I pulled back to look at him, wondering how he can be so sweet. My words stuttered. "I-I just think that…uh…" I cleared my throat and looked at him with my bottom lip in between my teeth. "I think we're moving a _little_ too fast…NOT that I didn't enjoy what we've been doing of course! I mean, I really really liked it! Especially last night and it may seem like we did it a little too far but I didn't regret it of course! Far from it! I'd love to do it again but uuh aah! Oh God…" my face was as red as a rose now, I'm positive and the amused look on Edward's face proves it. I laughed sheepishly. "You know… we're starting something new right now and we just told each other we loved each other yesterday and the next second we were kissing and sharing orgies," my mind went ballistic when I said the word orgies, I held my hands up and covered my face. "Ah! Oh shit! I just said orgies… I'm sorry."

Edward laughed and shook his head in front of me. He held my still covered face in his hands and peppered kisses all over. "Orgies huh…" he chuckled.

I moaned in embarrassment. My rambles really did no one good. It's a disease, honestly. He tried prying my hands off. "Bella, it's okay. I understand."

That took me off guard. I peeked through my fingers and saw him smiling at me. "You do?"

"Silly Bella," He stole me a kiss before wrapping his arms around my back, picking us both up from the floor. My legs wrapped around his waist instantly as he plopped us down on the bed with him on top. "Of course I understand. If we want to be in a normal relationship, I don't think having _orgies_ before a first date is appropriate." He teased, smiling.

It was my turn to laugh, and I couldn't help but lighten up when he said the words 'relationship' and 'first date'. "My thoughts exactly… but with what we've gone through all this time, I think our relationship will be anything but normal."

Edward smiled. "It's nice to be a little different don't you think?"

I chuckled. "Definitely." I nuzzled his perfect nose.

"Mmm, we can take it slow. Whatever you want, love." His lips brushed over mine gently.

I moaned underneath him. "I love it when you call me that." I whispered.

Kiss. "Good. I've wanted to call you that for so long."

I smiled into our kiss. "So you don't mind if we take things slow?" I said in between kisses.

"Not at all. It doesn't matter how fast or slow we go." He pulled away and traced his finger down my face. "We have the rest of our lives."

My heart almost combusted at his words. A huge smile broke my face before I pulled him back to my lips. "I love you, Edward. I'll never get tired of saying it. I promise you I'll say it everyday for the rest of our lives." I said sincerely, looking into his emerald green eyes.

His eyes sparkled for a moment before he smiled. Pulling me up, he gathered me in his arms and enveloped me in a warm hug. My head rested on the crook of his neck while his rested on my hair. "Bella…" he whispered. "Will you be mine?" My body went still.

As I blinked, tears almost fell from my eyes. My arms went around his shoulders as I turned my head to meet his face. He didn't even have to ask. "I've always been yours."

The loving look on Edward's face made my heart skip a beat. He gently took my face in his hands gave me a tender kiss. The love and devotion from that kiss was so strong, I felt it on toes. Pulling away, I stared at his face and felt a pang in my heart when a tear ran down his cheek. "Edward…" I whispered, brushing his tear away with my fingers.

He just shook his head and pulled my closer to his embrace. I wanted to ask him what was wrong, but for now, I guess the need to keep close is all we need.

…

**7yearsold7yearsold7yearsold…**

_Knock…Knock…Knock…_

_I continued crying into my Mommy's shoulder as we waited for someone to open Edward's house door. My eyes kept closed but I still felt really scared. I wanted Edward. I needed to see that he was okay._

_Mom rubbed soothing circles down my back. "Sshh, it's alright, Bella. Everything is going to be okay." She knocked again. This time we only had to wait for a few more seconds before I heard the door open._

"_Renee?! Oh, come inside! The snow is freezing out here." I heard Esme's voice and felt her warm hand on my back, but I still didn't want to move my body and I kept on sobbing. "What is it? Is everything okay?"_

"_I'm so sorry to intrude this late, Esme, but Bella woke up screaming and asking for Edward. She must have had a nightmare; I can't get her to stop crying." My Mom whispered before walking inside the house. I wanted to jump out and run straight to Edward's room but I felt too tired and my Mommy felt warm. _

"_Oh poor dear," I felt Esme kiss my head. "Edward's already asleep upstairs but I'm sure he won't mind. Maybe she should just spend the night in Edward's room."_

_My Mom nodded and whispered to me. "Do you want to sleep here tonight, Bella?" _

_Sniffing, I nodded silently on her shoulder and she kissed me on the forehead. "Okay, sweetie. I'll see you in the morning." _

_I felt Esme's hands under my arms as she lifted me from my Mom. "I'll take her from here, Renee." The rest of their conversation was a blur as I rested my head on Esme's neck but I still wasn't feeling better. She patted my back while carrying me up the stairs and the next thing I knew, we were inside Edward's room. _

_Wiping the tears from my eyes, I released my hold on Esme's neck and turned my body around a little bit. My chest felt a lot lighter once I saw my best friend under the covers of his blanket. Esme set me down on the floor and I instantly ran toward Edward's bed and climbed under his covers. My movements must have woke him up._

_Edward suddenly turned around in surprise and rubbed at his eyes. "Bella?" I just sniffled and curled up beside him. "What's wrong?" he asked, laying a hand on my shoulder. I felt the bed sink under Esme's weight as she sat at the edge of the bed. "Bella had a nightmare, Edward. I hope you don't mind, but she asked for you. Is it okay if she stays the night?" _

_Edward nodded vigorously. _

_Esme chuckled. "Thank you, dear. Do you need anything, Bella?" she whispered to me, stroking my arm. I shook my head silently. Just having Edward by my side made me feel a lot better. "Okay. Sleep tight you two." She gave both of us a kiss goodnight before walking silently out the door. _

_Edward shifted by my side, moving his head closer to mine so our foreheads were touching. "What did you dream about?" he asked._

_I hugged my chest tighter, not wanting to remember what I had dreamed only minutes ago. I knew it was silly and everything. I don't even know why I woke up crying. I dreamed that I was in some kind of hallway all alone and the only thing on my mind was to find Edward. I opened every door until my chest started getting heavy and I still couldn't find him. Before I knew it, I was awake and screaming. My chest felt so heavy just like how I felt in my dream and I thought that Edward was gone forever. Mom tried to put me back to bed but I wouldn't stop crying. _

_I closed my eyes and tried to stop the cry rising from my throat by gritting my teeth, but it didn't work. I started sobbing softly. _

"_Don't cry Bella!" panicked Edward. "It's okay." His arm wrapped around me. "You don't have to tell me. We can just keep quiet alright?" _

_My head went to his chest and I nodded. Edward's chin rested on my hair while his hand settled on my back. He held me like that even after my cries subsided and I started hiccupping. His chest vibrated a little bit as he sniggered. "You're hiccupping, Bells." He said amusedly. A smile came out of my face once I realized that it was kind of funny. I chuckled a little bit before another hiccup interrupted and we both started giggling in bed. _

_I sniffed one last time before wrapping my own arm around Edward's waist. He hugged me closer and sighed above me. _

_I heard him yawn and sink further under the covers. The thought of my nightmare still scared me, but having Edward's arms wrapped around me overpowered my fear. It's amazing how I feel so comfortable with him. If there's one thing I know, it's that I never want to dream about losing him again. _

_I started drifting off on his chest and before I fell asleep, I heard Edward speak, "I'm here…" _

_A smile formed my face. Those two words were enough to comfort me and get me through the night. _

…

**PresentPresentPresent…**

After a few minutes, Edward sighed heavily on my chest. "I never want to lose you again, Bella." he whispered so quietly, I almost didn't hear it. My face fell and a certain amount of guilt filled me. I'd give anything just to take away all the pain that he's been through these past five months. I don't know how I would've survived if our roles were switched in that situation.

I ran my fingers through his hair comfortingly. "You won't lose me, Edward. I'll always be here…even if you don't want me."

His arms wrapped tighter around my torso and his head rose to meet my eyes. "I will always want you. I love you so much, Bella, it hurts."

Goose bumps rose from my skin at his words. My lips descended to his. "I love you more."

He chuckled. "That's not possible." Smirking, he dropped us back down on the bed with him on top and started kissing me senselessly. Only God knows how much I love this man.

"So, you'll be my girl?" he asked after pulling away from the kiss. I goofy smiled appeared on my face at the thought of being _his_ girl. He didn't even have to ask me. I always have been and always will be _his_ girl.

"Yes." I chuckled. A bright smile spread his face before leaning down to kiss me.

"Oh yeah, before I forget, how are we going to tell everyone?" he asked.

My eyes widened. "I haven't really thought about it." I've been so preoccupied with just the both of us that I forgot about everyone else.

Edward quirked his brow. "Do my parents know that you… you know, fancy me?"

My face went red and I chuckled. "I never officially said it, but I have a strong feeling that they do, especially your Mom. Same goes for Charlie and Renee. Our friends know that I 'fancy' you though."

Edward rolled his eyes and laughed. "Yeah, same here. So they all knew that we liked each other and they didn't say a thing?"

I shrugged, not knowing what to feel. "Apparently."

Edward smirked. "Well, I wouldn't have changed a second of what happened last night though."

I smiled widely, happy that he felt the same way. "Me too." We met each other half-way in a sweet kiss.

"So how are we going to tell them?" I asked nervously as we both sat up.

"A public announcement is all I could think of."

"I'll die of embarrassment and my face will explode like a volcano."

Edward laughed. "Can't have that now can we? It's a very taboo idea anyway, unless you just want them to find out themselves."

I looked at him strangely. "Let them find out?"

His face went thoughtful for a second. An imaginary light bulb lit on top of his head. "Yeah. Why don't we let them find out themselves?"

I gave him a look of wonder.

"Think of it this way, Bella… this could actually be something we can have fun with." he smiled. What's he getting at?

"Fun?"

"Yes. Sneaking around, having a sense of thrill, always being alert and on the look out? If we do it this way then we don't have to deal with the embarrassing public announcement."

My eyes widened as I started getting the gist of what he was saying. The thought of Edward and I hiding under the broom closet, making out and at the same time heightening our senses to try and avoid getting caught both thrilled and excited me at the same time.

"Do you get what I'm saying?"

I nodded slowly. "I think I do." I replied, looking at him with a growing sly smile. I already couldn't wait.

A smirk was on his face. "I'm game if you are."

Chuckling, I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him firmly on the lips.

He hummed into the kiss. "I'll take that as a yes."

_Oh yes definitely!_

I glanced at the clock on my nightstand as he continued our kiss, nipping at my bottom lip. "Well you better make good use of the next fifteen minutes, Mr. Cullen."

"Why's that?" he said between kisses.

"Because we have very little time before getting ready for the Christmas party at your house." We both stopped kissing as my words just sunk into my brain.

We looked at each other in disbelief before laughing out loud at our obliviousness. It was _Christmas_ morning! I can't believe we forgot!

Edward pecked me on the lips. "Merry Christmas, love."

I chuckled feeling happier that I've ever been. "Merry Christmas, my love."

…

Edward and I really did make good use of the next fifteen minutes. We were both gasping and fighting for breath by the time our mouths unlocked from each other. He complained as I dragged both of us out of bed. We always spent Christmas morning in our PJ's so there was no need to change.

We were just making our way out the door until Edward stood still and pulled me back to him on just under the door frame. "What?" I asked him. He pointed up above him and I gazed at the little dangling mistletoe under my door in utter surprise. "How did that get there?"

Edward's arms crossed. "My guess is the female versions of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern." He joked and I couldn't have agreed more.

I chuckled, silently wondering how in the world Alice and Rosalie got into my house. "You guessed right. So, what do we do now?"

He shrugged. "Follow Christmas tradition right?"

I nodded in agreement. "Right."

Edward and I smiled at each other before meeting in one sweet kiss. I made a mental note to do Alice and Rosalie a favor in the future. Who knew that a little mistletoe and Christmas tradition would do the trick? We pulled away gently with matching grins on our faces. We were probably thinking of the same thing too.

Our first kiss from last night.

"I love you." I whispered, and he returned it with one other kiss.

We walked down the stairs hand in hand and stopped half-way.

I rubbed my eyes to make sure I wasn't seeing things. I always see my Dad asleep on the couch but this time… there was someone else beside him.

"Is that…"

"Nurse Susan Hope." Edward answered for me in a whisper.

My entire being suddenly filled with pride and joy as I squeezed Edward's hand. "Oh my God." Charlie finally found someone.

Edward chuckled silently along with me. "I guess the mistletoe did more than what's expected."

...

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Tadaa! There you go! **

**They are FINALLY together! :D **

**But the story is not complete yet so stay tuned :D**

**So, they're going to keep it to themselves for a little while...how long do you think they can sneak around? Haha!**

**You know the Drill!**

**REVIEW if you want a SNEAK PEAK of the next Chappie!**

**P.S. Please read my new story "The Heart of a Musician" :D**

**...**

**...**

**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW! :D**

**love love love :)**


	17. First Kisses & Olive Juice

**Hehe… Uh, I know you're all glaring at me right now, but uh… let's go on with the new chapter first! :D**

**Yay! A new chapter… ahehe… (hides in the closet)**

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**Chapter 17: First Kisses and Olive Juice **

**Bella's POV:**

Taking a nervous breath, I stared at the large, manor-like doors of the Cullen's home, rethinking if this 'keeping our relationship a secret' scheme would be such a good idea. If we get in there and they see us sending secret strokes or giving the 'gooey eyed glace' at each other, then the secret won't even last a few hours. God knows I'm a horrible actor, and Edward, let's just say he's not that far behind me, but he can be a pretty good actor on rare occasions. When we were walking here, I started to think how we. . . how I would go about it. I know it sounds insane, but for some strange reason, I don't know how I went through puberty without touching or kissing Edward whenever I was around him.

It's like the world made a 180 degree turn at the exact moment we spoke the words 'I love you' last midnight. So far, it has been the best eight and half hours of my life, but still. . . I couldn't help but think that this is all a dream, and the irritating sound of my alarm clock would wake me at any moment.

Edward gave my hand a warm, reassuring squeeze, and my thoughts died down almost instantly. I turned to him. He gave me his crooked boyish grin, and it made me smile in return. He took my other hand in his to make me face him directly. He leaned forward slowly until our foreheads were touching and gave such a contented sigh.

Strange.

One touch feels like a trickle of ticklish flames running up my skin.

"Are you ready?" I asked, our noses nuzzling against each other. So much for not getting caught.

We locked eyes for a moment before Edward shook his head. _No? _I felt his hand reach up to cup my neck, as his lips trailed to my cheek, and I heard him whisper, "can I kiss you. . . before we head inside?" His warm breath tickled my skin, sending a euphoric sensation. I felt my head nod, and his lips pressed against mine. My eyes closed at the intense feelings swirling inside me as my hands rested on his sides. The kiss wasn't rushed or firm, it was soft, slow, and sweet. But even the softest kisses from Edward can bring out the strongest emotions inside me. In this one kiss, I felt nothing but love.

He pulled away much sooner, and my eye lids fluttered open to see him smiling down at me. My knees wobbled, and Edward chuckled silently as he held me upright by the elbows. Great! One look from him, and my legs turn into jell-o. I am a goner!

"I take it you liked that kiss." He smirked.

I huffed at him. "Yeah, well, don't get too cocky, mister. Kissing me on your front porch isn't exactly going to help keeping our relationship a secret."

His smile went smug, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. "I know, but I won't get to kiss you or touch you for at least a couple of hours. We've gone through years without doing it and that was torture, but now that I know how it feels, it's going to be even harder to wait." I took his hand and kissed it, telling him that I felt the same. "I can't even imagine 'not' kissing you when I see you anymore."

I smiled, knowing that I affected him as much as he affected me. Things have definitely changed between me and Edward . . . for the better. We were more open now. It's like I set out my feelings on a silver platter and showcased it for him to see. "I'm only starting to realize how hard this secret must be to keep."

"We can still sneak in the closet and make out, you know," he shrugged. Closet snogging? Hmm. How enlightening!

I laughed and reminded him that this was his idea, "or do you want to go in and just tell them?" I smirked.

His lips formed a thin line, "no, no. . . I still think it'll be really exciting to do this."

I chuckled, "It's only for a few hours, Edward. After that, you can have me any way you want." The words left my mouth before I even thought it. His eyes went mischievous, and mouth formed a devious grin. Oh no…

"Bella," he growled. I half expected him to jump on me, but his expression turned controlled yet frustrated as he leaned forward, and whispered in my ear, "you can't say things like that and expect me to just stand here and do nothing." His voice literally sent shivers down my spine. Warm velvet, yet it reminds me of a lion's growl. What is this man doing to me?

"Neither can you," I replied, breathless, as his lips skimmed the skin between my ear and neck. A sudden shiver ran through my body, and my hands went to his shoulders for support as I fell boneless against his arms.

That... that was definitely a weak spot. He knew my body more than I did, and we've only been intimate for one night!

I didn't want him to stop, but staying here long enough might get us into trouble. "We'll get caught." I almost whimpered before placing a soft kiss on the skin behind his ear.

"Isn't that the plan?" he continued peppering kisses on my skin. I simply lost train of thought. Who knew that'd feel so good? I've never seen this side of Edward before, of him as a lover. We've been friends since forever, but being lovers is one side which we have never explored. It thrilled and scared me in a good way. Everything, every touch, every word, every breath, felt like new. When he kissed me awake this morning, it was like waking up in Neverland, where everything was like a dream, only this time it was real. And we just could not stop saying those three words. . .

"I love you," he uttered, placing a sweet kiss on my nose.

Smiling, my eye lids fluttered open, and I took his face in my hands, gently pulling him down so I could kiss him on the lips, "I love you, too." I was amazed at how the words easily slipped my mouth, when yesterday, I couldn't even whisper it. _I love you_. Oh, how I just love saying it, and hearing him say it back makes it a thousand times better!

Just as Edward was about to lean in for another kiss, we pulled away quickly at the sound of clattering pans through the other side of the door. We let out a breath, and laughed. "I can already tell, this is going to be quite an endeavor." He whispered, releasing my one hand and working his house keys through the keyhole.

"Quite a _hard_ endeavor," I emphasized, "you know how hard it is to hide things from your Mom and Aunt Elizabeth, and my mother has been reading a lot of science fiction and mystery novels lately! She'll probably be asking more questions than usual."

He chuckled, "guess we'll just have to be more discreet."

I smiled inwardly.

Discreet?

Right. 'Making out on his family's front porch seems to be the very definition of discreet', I thought sarcastically.

As we walked slowly through the long hallway, I slowly released his grip on my hand. He looked at me, quizzically, and I raised a brow at him. "What? We can't be seen holding hands in front of our mothers." I stated. The answer would seem pretty obvious wouldn't it? Edward's eyes narrowed in confusion.

His forehead creased, and eyes went up in thought. "You mean we never held hands like this before?" he asked, holding his palm up toward me. My mouth opened to reply, but closed it again after taking a second thought. I almost stopped in my tracks to wonder.

"I- I don't know… did we?" I backtracked a few memories of Edward and I.

"… … …"

"Alright, this is… surreal." As impossible as it sounds, I couldn't seem to remember if this was a casual action of ours. Holding hands, like is. At this moment, the movement felt like a reflex, but was it ever like this before, or did it develop just last night? My movements slowed down, as my brain worked up some more vivid memories of last night, and it only left me more confused and baffled. One minute I'd imagine us walking side by side, but then the same scene would pop out of my head, with our hands entwined instead, and I couldn't tell which was fiction or fact.

We stared at each other, wide-eyed. "I don't remember," our voices echoed. How in the world is that possible?

"Don't remember what, dearies?" A blooming Aunt Elizabeth suddenly appeared behind us, catching me off guard. I didn't need a mirror to see that my face had turned crimson. It was practically a dead giveaway. A startled look crossed Aunt Elizabeth's face as she looked from Edward to me. I glanced at him, only to realize that we had both taken a step back from each other after Aunt Elizabeth made her appearance. It was obvious that we were keeping something.

Edward gave me a knowing look, and I knew he was thinking the same thing. This was going to be a lot harder than we thought.

……………

It was only going to be the Cullens and my family today. Everyone else wanted to stay within their respective homes during the main holiday. For breakfast, we had pancakes and last night's leftovers, as usual.

And as for the 'secret,' … so far so good, as far as I was aware anyway.

Edward and I kept sneaking secret glances at each other as we kept our humble distance. It felt like I was thirteen again! The first time we glanced at each other today, he was facing the window over the sink, and I was sitting on the granite island in the middle of the kitchen. Our entire family was there, talking and drinking coffee. Laughter resounded the area. I lifted my eyes to him at the same time his head turned sideways. Amusement was in his eyes, and I couldn't help but stare at how beautiful he looked as the rays of sunlight outlined his perfect profile. It was almost like he resembled a greek god by the way his skin was practically shining. My head dropped right away, and a strong blush erupted my face. I also couldn't fight the smile forming my lips. It took everything in me not to look back up again, but a part of me knew that he already knew what I was going through.

Then there were secret brushes to the hand, the shoulder, the middle of the back…

My inner sanctity was crumbling.

All I wanted to do was wrap myself around his body and kiss him without a care in the world! His expression was snide and malicious, and mine was fiery and animated.

After I felt his nose brush the back of my neck, I just about slammed my cup of tea on the table! My mom stared in concern. "Bella, sweetie, is everything alright?"

I wiped my fingers with the napkin, a blush creeping up my face, "yes, Mom, I uh...the cup just slipped, that's all!"

I internally groaned after I heard Edward chuckle gently behind me. After my Mom looked away to talk to Susan, I sent Edward a frustrated look. He just shrugged and tried to hide his smile. I honestly wanted to throw the jam jar on his face!

When he sat next to me at the breakfast table, I took my revenge. My fingers slid slyly toward the inside of his thigh, making him jump and hit the table noisily. My hand retreated at the next second as Edward apologized to his Mom, then he sent me a snide glance. I almost laughed, but buttered my toast instead.

Edward had other plans, by the way. I felt a cool, wet dab on my cheek, and turned my head to see Edward quickly place a spoon back into the jam jar, a smile on his wicked face. Oh no he didn't!

I gasped, looking at him with my mouth agape! I should have thrown the jam jar at him when I had the chance! Wiping the jam from my cheek, I dipped my spoon into the honey jar and stared at him, as I bit my lip to keep from smiling more than necessary. His eyes widened as he gave me the 'you wouldn't dare' look. Did he honestly think that I wouldn't do it?

I flipped the spoon quickly, making the honey fly directly across his profile, as he opened his mouth in surprise. There was no way I could stop the laughter now. Edward chucked a sugar cube at me, and I dipped my finger on the whipped cream of his pancake and tried swabbing it on his cute little nose, but his hands were already defending himself. We wrestled a bit through the laugher and bits of breakfast until Esme pinched both our ears and told us to stop playing with our food.

When noon came, my eyes had started to droop, surprisingly.

I thought I had enough sleep last night. I tried shaking it away by rubbing my eye lids or splashing my face with cold water in the bathroom, but my entire body had begun to feel the familiar weakness. I hated it. On Christmas day, I didn't want to spend the majority of my time sleeping, especially now that Edward and I. . .

Whimpering, I stared at myself in the mirror and sighed. I looked exhausted and pale. My weight hadn't come back much yet. Because of my five month comatose, I'd lost twenty pounds at least, but managed to gain back a wee bit during the week. My diet was still in check, doctor's orders, but seriously? What harm is there from eating a cookie?

Right... because I have to take it easy on my stomach.

No hard solid foods yet!

I frowned. Edward had lost quite some weight too. He said he didn't eat much when I was still unconscious.

It frightened me. Seeing him when I woke up last week.

He looked so different. His appearance was haggard, and his eyes didn't have the usual glow. And this morning, when he broke down in front of me, I couldn't get the picture of his broken face out of my head.

I shook my head, and washed my face once again. I can't think of this right now.

I made my way out of the bathroom to hear our families laughter in the living room. Passing through the kitchen, I heard the sound of dishes clinking. I opened the door to find Edward setting all the dirty silverware into the dishwasher, and I smiled to myself. Only Edward can make dishwashing a turn on sight to see. I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the doorframe to watch him. He would be such a wonderful husband. . .

Again, I blushed furiously at my thoughts.

_Edward, as my husband one day._ A moment of explicit happiness burst through me, but I encouraged myself to slow down. _Not so fast, Bella._

But really... I couldn't imagine living my life with anyone else. I pursed my lips. _It's always been you, Edward._

Brushing my feelings aside, I walked toward him slowly and quietly. He just closed the dishwasher and started wiping his hands and arms with the hand towel when I took my chance and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my entire body flush against his backside, and snuggling my head on his shirt. He didn't even jump in surprise.

"Hey," I heard him smile.

"Hey," I said back, in an obvious, drowsy voice.

He chuckled softly before setting down the hand towel and turning around so he could face me. My arms didn't leave his waist, and he didn't complain. His own strong arms wrapped around me, blanketing me in his warmth. "I knew it was just about time before you started getting sleepy." He mumbled against my hair.

I groaned at his chest, "I hate it."

"I know, love," he whispered. His hand went up from my waist to my face as he brushed the fallen strands away and gently lifted my chin so I could look up and meet his gaze. Looking at his eyes almost took my breath away. There was this new kind of sparkle or glow in them that I've never seen before. It was a complete contrast to the broken look I saw on his face earlier today. That broken look almost broke my heart. Even though I see this angelic face before me right now, I know that there's still something inside him that needs healing. I placed my hand over his heart, feeling the strong beat as he leaned down to kiss me passionately, and I returned it with no hesitation and with no regard that our family was less than fifty feet away from us. I will never get tired with the way his lips move against mine.

As we pulled away, Edward stole two more kisses before leaning us away from the sink. "I've wanted to do that for every second during the last few hours."

"Mmm, me too." I hummed.

He chuckled again, and leaned in for a quick but firm kiss. "Come on, let's get you some sleep."

I couldn't even argue. "Okay."

Edward ushered me through the hallway, and practically carried me up the stairs and into his bedroom. Or at least I thought it was his bedroom; then I remembered Esme's new renovations. "Your room looks great," I murmured through his shirt, feeling the new hardwood floors as opposed to the old carpet he used to have. I wanted to look around more, but my body was shutting down fast. I probably would have slept at the stairs if Edward had not been keeping his arm around me the entire time.

He sniggered. "Yeah, thanks. Okay, up to bed now." I almost shrieked and complained when he set his arm under my knees and lifted me up, but then again, I was too tired. And it felt good to be in his arms anyway. I felt the soft comforter sheets beneath me, and my Ugg boots being taken off. "I could've done that," I said through closed eyes. I felt like a little kid again.

I heard the smile in his voice, "Just lie down and sleep, Bella."

I didn't find the strength to complain anymore. I felt myself getting tucked under the sheets, and I forced my eyes open one more time. "Thanks, Edward."

He cupped my temple in his hand and kissed my nose, "you're welcome," he whispered, tenderly pressing his face against mine.

"I love you," I whispered one last time before sleep overtook me, and the last thing I heard was him saying it back.

"I love you too."

**Edward's POV:**

"Edward, I don't need to repeat myself. It's perfectly normal of ex-coma patients to feel like this. I don't need to check up on Bella every time she falls asleep. In my professional, medical opinion, she's even recovering at a fast pace, and if you ask her other doctors, you'd be hearing the same thing. So there's nothing to worry about, son. " My father reasoned out, after I asked him for the umpteenth time about Bella's condition. She'd been asleep for a little over three hours.

"You sure, Dad? I mean, it's been a week," I replied, following him into the kitchen.

His chuckle sounded amused. "Yes, it is perfectly normal," he looked back at me, smiling, as he headed to the sink, washing his hands. A little bit of wine spilled on him back in the living room. I leaned against the island, folding my arms across my chest, still feeling a bit disgruntled. How can he be so calm? Everyone knows that coma patients are the most prone to illnesses when they regain consciousness. It's only been a week. I was still unsettled. Once the flow of water fell silent, I looked up to my father. "I know you're worried, Edward, but you'll have to learn how to control your emotions. They might take you overboard. Don't let your fear for Bella make you constantly disturbed and restless. It will only make yourself miserable, and it will make Bella concerned as well. She needs you to be her support. Lift her spirits, don't let her worry about you. Control your emotions."

I sighed heavily, knowing that he was right. "I know Dad, but I just. . . sometimes I can't even. . . I'm just afraid that. . .something might...," I didn't want to say it. I just felt so happy right now that I was afraid something might happen and drive all that happiness away. Like at any moment, things will just go tumbling down, and I wouldn't have the strength to stand up again. I felt a pang on my chest, and I wanted to curse the fear that still rested in me. I wanted to tell my father how I felt, but I was afraid he'd see me as a coward.

I can't risk losing her again. Not after everything. Not after last night. Not after finally telling her those three words. I scuffed my shoe on the tile floor. And not after finally hearing her say it back.

My father sighed sadly. "I know you're still afraid. Everyone has that fear, especially when it comes to someone you love," he stood beside me, but I still kept my head down, "but why live on that fear when the source of your happiness is upstairs right now, sound asleep with a smile on her face and a beating heart?"

I stared at him then, his words hitting a sensitive part of me. During the past week, or five months or so, even though it's painful to admit, I have been living on fear. Even after she woke up, I was still partially living on that feeling. I tried my hardest not to let Bella see it, but I've already shown her a part of what has been lurking inside me just this morning, when I told her not to leave me anymore. . . because I knew that I wouldn't be able to survive it a second time.

There's no use for me to live fearing if something bad is going to happen. If I do keep thinking of it, that 'something bad' might actually happen...

My heart painfully skipped a beat.

"Can you promise me that everything's going to be all right… with Bella?" I know that it wasn't ideal for Doctor's to promise, but I wanted to hear it.

He sighed beside me, "As a doctor, I can't promise anything, Edward." The pain started getting heavier. That's what I expected to hear. I can't always be certain about things. "But as your father, I can tell you this. It is not Bella's time to go. She will still be with us for the longest time and I know that everything is going to be all right." I looked up, meeting my father's confident look.

He clasped my shoulder firmly, and I felt comforted with his smile. "I promise."

I smiled with those two words.

"And you know what they say right? There's always a ray of sunshine and a rainbow after a storm."

I quirked a brow. Did my Dad really just say that?

A knock came at the door, and we faced to see my Mother making her way in. "Is everything alright here? I'm not disturbing anything, am I?" she smiled.

Dad's eyes sparkled and he walked his way toward her, taking her hands in his, "no, my love, it was just a little father and son talk," he leaned to give her a quick kiss. "Edward was just worried about Bella."

Mom chuckled as she looked at me, "why am I not surprised?"

"Mooom," I whined.

My Dad raised a brow at me. "There's nothing about worrying for the woman you love, Edward. It's a natural thing. Isn't that right, my sweet?" he turned to nuzzle his wife's cheek.

Mom hummed, "yes very, very right, my bumpkin!"

"I love you, my poppet!"

"I love you, my casanova."

"Cupcake."

"Lady-killer."

"Sugar lips."

"Love bug."

"Duckling."

"Schnooky lumps."

I covered my ears! "Alright! Mom, Dad! You can call each other nicknames in the privacy of your rooms, but in the presence of your only son, just please!" I exasperated, but still, I couldn't help but smile at their display. Twenty-one years together, and still, so much love in their eyes when they look at each other.

"Oh, honey-bunny, once you marry the love of your life, a.k.a. Bella, you'll know how it feels one day!" my Mom and Dad smiled. They could resemble love-birds, really.

"Mom! Did you just call me honey-bunny?"

"Believe it or not, Edward, that was your mother's nickname for you when you were a baby."

……………

Another hour had passed, and I spent the majority of it watching Bella as I lay beside her. My Dad told me that if she wasn't up by five, I'd have to wake her up, but she looked so peaceful, I didn't want to disturb her. She had bother hands tucked underneath her head as she slept on her side, facing me. I still never tire of watching her.

It's true that I still feel terrified of losing her, even though my father tells me that everything's going to be all right, because what if it doesn't?

My face wrinkled in frustration, not wanting to think about any negativity that may or may not come.

She's here right now, alive, and well. That's all that matters. I'll take care of her. I'll make sure she's always safe, even if it costs my life.

A few minutes had passed, and I knew I had to wake her up.

I smiled, feeling a new wave of excitement. Had it really only been last night since we first kissed?

I gently cupped her cheek and brushed the pad of my thumb under her eyes. She moved for only a split second and fell right back with a sigh. I almost chuckled at how adorable she looked. My face came closer, breathing in her scent as I nuzzled her nose, "wake up," I whispered, placing feather light kisses across her cheeks. She shifted and moaned drowsily, making me chuckle even more. "Come on, love (kiss), wake up, (kiss)." I kissed her lips this time. After a second, I felt her arms snake around my waist, pulling herself closer until our bodies pressed. I smiled into the kiss and responded by wrapping my arm around her back.

Her eyes opened slowly, and her gaze immediately fell on mine. I smiled brightly.

Watching her wake up still takes my breath away. "How are you feeling?"

Her lips puckered up and gave me a sweet kiss. "Perfect," she smiled, before leaning in again to kiss me. I met her halfway, and we shared a slow, but passionate kiss. I was already drowning. Her fingers buried in my hair, tugging at the strands. _God, I love it when she does that!_

It seemed like neither of us had the intention to pull away, so I deepened the kiss, pulling her tighter against me, and trying my best to pull down the duvet that was separating our lower bodies. As soon as it pooled to our feet, our legs tangled, wanting to feel as close as possible. Our mouths opened, and our tongues caressed each other just like last night, only somehow, the feelings increased tenfold. I could feel the warmth of her body, and the smoothness of her skin through my fingers as my hand slipped under her shirt, stroking her flawless backside. I felt her shiver against me, and I smiled into the kiss, feeling pleased that I could make her feel like this. After hearing her moan, my resolve almost crumbled.

Our kisses became more heated, our bodies flush. But the part I loved most was that we both tried to keep our eyes open as much as possible to look at each other. It made everything feel much more intense and tender at the same time. Her hands traveled from my hair down to my waist, and then I felt her frail hands creep under my shirt, moving up and around my torso. When she stroked my spine with her firm touch, fire burned inside me; that was until her fingers trailed the waistband of my jeans until it rested right above my crotch, the fire blazed, and I was instantly hard. It was my turn to moan.

Our actions were biased to our decisions. We decide to keep a secret from the family, then I kiss her on the front porch, and make-out with her in my bedroom. We decide to take it slow, and here we were, about to approach through the next level of slow.

A man could only have too much control. I shifted our positions, placing myself on top and her legs immediately went on either side of my hips. I broke our kiss, finally, to trail wet, fiery kisses down her neck. Bella gasped, and held me there with her hands pressed against my locks. Our breathing turned ragged. With all the sounds she was making, I couldn't focus on anything else, nothing but the beautiful woman writhing beneath me. My control was slipping away unconsciously. When my erection hit her sensitive spot, Bella's back suddenly arched, and she made the hottest sound I've ever heard. It was somewhere between a gasp and a moan.

Christ, I wanted to hear it again!

When her back arched, her shirt shifted up, exposing her flat stomach. My arms snaked underneath her, as I pulled her waist up higher. I trailed my head down, until my lips came into contact to the sweet skin of her ribcage. I scattered open-mouthed kisses across the exposed skin, unable to get enough.

Once my tongue snaked out, Bella moaned loudly underneath me and I was suddenly pulled up to meet her lips in a ferocious kiss.

I switched our positions, pulling her on top of me, and much to my disappointment, Bella pulled away, breathing heavily, and her forehead resting against mine. I was breathing heavily too as I tried to build back my own resolve.

I can't believe I almost lost control then. I looked at her in concern, but she just stared at me and chuckled between breathes. "That was…," she breathed, "wow."

But I should've known better. "Sorry," I breathed, cupping her temple.

Her brow furrowed amusedly, "Uh, okay, not the response I was expecting," she chuckled, "what are you apologizing for?"

I smiled. "We said we'd take it slow. I'm sorry I got a little carried away. I should've known better, you're still weak and…"

"Edward," she kissed me softly, cutting me off, "I'm not a child. Both of us got carried away. You have to stop blaming yourself for everything. I only stopped because I didn't think we'd be able to stop if we went a lot further." She blushed, kissing the tip of my nose.

I smiled, cupping both her cheeks and kissing her again. "I know, but... you sure you're alright?"

"I told you before," she smiled, wrapping her arms more firmly against my back. "I feel perfect. Whenever I'm with you, I feel perfect." Hmm, I guess my Dad was right. Her strength seemed to be coming back a lot faster than I expected. For that, I was more than glad.

My heart warmed at her words, and I felt the need to tell her the words again. "I love you, Bella."

Her eyes sparkled. "I love you more, Edward."

I chuckled, nuzzling her nose, "I told you before… that's not possible."

"Mmm… you wanna bet?" she nuzzled back.

"I bet my life on it, Bella Swan," and we fell into another kiss. Once she settled to my side, I still wrapped my arms around her, and we were locked into a teddy bear embrace.

Bella's finger traced down my profile, and my eyes fell closed to their own accord. "Has it really been only this morning since you asked me to be yours?" she asked.

I've been asking myself the same thing. "I know what you mean."

"Do you?" her finger settled on my lips, and I nodded. Everything we've been doing up to this point has felt so natural. We skipped passed the shy glances and hesitating 'first-date' kisses, and went straight to devouring each other while trying to hold on to the little amount of control we had left.

"Minus all the kisses, it feels like we've been doing this for a long time hasn't it?"

"Mm," she nodded in agreement, "A huge part of me has just been filled last night but… I guess…" she trailed off.

I imitated her gesture and trailed my index finger softly down her profile. "Guess what?"

Her eyes went down and she smiled, "I guess, for me, it feels like we've been in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship for a long time," she stared up at me sheepishly. "When I think back, I can't believe how blind I've been."

I smiled widely, "I agree with you completely. I can't believe how blind I've been too. All our hang-outs, the petty arguments," I entwined my fingers with hers, "the blind intimacy."

She chuckled, "Our friends were right after all. I guess we did seem like a couple in their eyes."

Back in high school, Bella and I had to suffer the countless teasing of our friends because of our closeness. I couldn't even count how many times we were mistaken for a couple. Back then, we'd just laugh and brush it off.

_Well, who's laughing now? _I smirked. "How on earth could we have been so blind back then?"

Bella laughed, "I don't know, you tell me. What do you think everyone will think whenever they see us now? As a 'real' boyfriend and girlfriend?"

"Ah! I think we just upped our level to husband and wife; now all I have to do is get us identical wedding bands, and everyone is fooled! What's your preference, Mrs. Cullen? Gold or silver?" Bella's blush went into an even deeper shade of crimson, but she had the brightest smile on her face, and it made my insides jump around for joy. The name 'Mrs. Cullen' suited her. It made me think of the not so distant future… when I would ask her to be my wife. I've always known that Bella was the one, that's why I never bothered to find anyone else. The girl that I've always wanted and needed had been here with me since I was only a few months old, and she means more to me than anything else in this entire world.

Bella laughed heartily, "Wedding bands, huh? Aren't you supposed to propose to me first? You know you better make it really romantic." She joked, her eyes sparkling of childishness.

I feigned hurt, "I must say, I am hurt, Bella. You know more than anyone else that I am the most romantic person there is. Do you want me to quote Mr. Darcy's confession to Elizabeth Bennet?"

She laughed even more. "Okay, now you're just acting queer. But it wouldn't hurt to hear you say it. Come on! Show me your best Mr. Darcy impersonation," her voice getting excited, as she leaned forward to give me a quick kiss.

"What? You just said I acted gay! Why do you think I would abide with your wishes now?"

She gave me her best puppy face, and my heart just about flew out of my chest, "please?"

Who in the world can deny that face! Okay… it's just a Pride and Prejudice impersonation anywa- what! No, no, be strong, Cullen! As a means of distraction, I planted hot kisses down her throat, until I heard her gasp. It's been less than a day, but I've already discovered that Bella is sensitive on the neck. "Not today."

Her moan was enough to distract me, because a second later, Bella pulled me back by the hair, catching me by surprise. I gave a sound of amusement. "What?"

"That's not fair. You may know how to distract me know at this point in our relationship, but I also have control, Cullen." she said smugly. I just laughed and fell down next to her on the bed, rubbing my eyes. _Busted_.

"By the way, speaking of Pride and Prejudice," I sat up quickly and reached onto my nightstand drawer, pulling out a neatly wrapped present. I turned to her with a grin, "Christmas present number two."

I helped her sit up as she smiled, taking the package in her hands. "So you really did get me three presents?"

I nodded, laying back down on my stomach. "Open it, then."

She smirked at me again, before turning to rip the colorful paper of the gift. I examined the expressions on her face. She'd always bite her lip when she was excited. The box opened to reveal a white summer dress, and she stroked the fabric with gentle hands before pulling it out for us to see. Her eyes revealed wonderment, feeling the soft material through her fingers.

I knew she'd like it.

"Edward, this is beautiful," she gasped, looking at me with a new sense of amazement, "who knew you had good taste?" she teased.

I sniggered, "thanks for that."

"Why did Pride and Prejudice remind you of this gift then?"

"Not that gift, per se. Your third present is downstairs under the tree. It's a hard bound copy of Pride and Prejudice." She smiled at that. "You're poor little copy at home needs a little break from being read too much." I chuckled.

She stuck out her tongue before swinging her feet out of bed, taking the dress with her. I leaned up, puzzled. "Where are you going?"

"Where do you think, I'm going?" she smiled, sprinting to my bathroom, which pretty much answered my question. I smiled in excitement. She's going to try it on!

It took only about a minute before Bella opened the bathroom door, revealing the white dress hugging her curves and flowing beautifully down her knees. I swear, the sight of her made my heart skip a beat. _Perfect. _

"Well," she smiled sheepishly, "what do you think?" she spun around once, the ivory-like material flowing like water around her gorgeous legs. Top it off with a halo and white wings at the back, then she'd fool everyone with her angel-like appearance. I smiled like a goof, and laid my head back down on the pillow and sighed. I can't believe that this wonderful creature is actually mine.

"What?" she chuckled, her cheeks going their usual pink again. I offered out my hand, and she walked forward willingly, facing her palm down on mine. She sat down the edge of the bed, and I stroked the sheer fabric on her legs before holding her hand again. She looked so beautiful.

Then I felt a little playful. "Um, yeah, you look horrible." I received slap on the chest for that, and we both laughed out loud.

"You dope!"

In one swift move, I pulled Bella down on top of me, and moved the long brown locks out of her face, giving her a loving kiss which she so eagerly responded to. My arms circled her back, keeping her locked to me as her hands rubbed up my chest. She didn't move away to complain, instead, she placed her legs beside my hips and proceeded to deepen the kiss. When we pulled away to breath, she rested her forehead on mine. "Thank you for my dress, I love it," she whispered.

I kissed her once before replying, "The pleasure is all mine." I pulled her back down to meet my lips, continuing what we just started. Our hands started exploring each other, as I caressed the smooth skin on her upper back before resting it upon the back of her neck and burying them in her silky threads. She moaned into the kiss when I felt her hands begin to creep up under my shirt, tensing my muscles a lot further.

Our kisses only got more heated, and at one moment, I pulled her beneath me before breaking the kiss to breathe.

Her cheeks were flushed, and our breathing was ragged, but I swear, I still couldn't get enough. Her legs were still straddled on my waist, and the white, flowy material of her dress pooled down to reveal her smooth legs, and I just had to groan. Seeing her lust-filled expression matching my own, I proceeded to kiss her senselessly, my hand stroking up the creamy flesh of her thigh, earning a delicious moan escape her lips. I broke the kiss to trail my lips down her lovely throat, which was quickly becoming one of my favorite spots to kiss. She'd melt like goo when I'd kiss a particular part of her flesh.

"Edward...," she said seductively, keeping her hand behind my neck, pushing me to continue my endeavor. With pleasure.

I wanted to take her.

I wanted to take her right then and there, not wanting to care about rules or anything at all. I only wanted to feel. "I want you, Bella." I whispered to her ear.

She sighed beneath me, tightening her grip around my waist. "I want you too."

Just as I pulled her in for another heated kiss...

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Edward? Bella?"

It took us a moment to register the voice.

Dad!

"Oh my God!" Bella whispered beneath me. Our faces matched panicked expressions, and we quickly disentangled ourselves and smoothed our clothing. Bella stayed under the blankets while I hopped out of the bed. Looking back, I saw Bella's hair in a tangled heap.

"Bella, you're hair!" I whispered frantically.

Her hands immediately went to her long brown locks, trying to settle them, "Your hair is a mess too you know," she pointed out!

"My hair is always a mess-"

Another knock came, making me jump in surprise. "Oh hell..." I looked back at Bella and pointed to the bathroom door. She understood, and quickly rushed out under the blankets and sprinted through the hardwood.

"Edward?" my father called, probably hearing our hurried footsteps across the floor, "can I come in?"

As Bella closed the door to the bathroom, I ran a hand through my disheveled hair and tried to act nonchalant. Nothing happened! We're cool! Just hanging out! "Yeah, Dad, come in."

The door creaked open revealing my father with a wondering look on his face.

I stifled a chuckle, "Uh, Bella just suddenly felt the urge to go to the bathroom." I smiled.

**_*New Year's Eve*_**

I didn't think we'd be able to pull it off, honestly. But here we are now, having dinner in the New Year's Eve party and still, no one has had the slightest suspicion about Bella and me. Were we really that good in hiding it?

Swoon. (Yes, I literally swooned) _Aah, Bella... _The past six days have been the best days of my life, and each day just kept getting better than the next.

My love for Bella is big as it is, but I never expected it to have been doubled in size. It only grew more each passing day. I couldn't help how I feel about her. When she walks into the room, I'd have to fight the smirk threatening to tear at my face. Whenever she'd catch my gaze, she'd dip her head, a rosy tint filling her cheeks, and she'd fight an obvious smile. Moreover so, seeing her actions would make me smile even more.

Why in the world do we have to be such saps? Now we were one of the many romantic couples we'd make fun off in the movies and on TV.

Not to say that this week had been easy, of course.

During the day, when we'd spend time with our families, Bella and I would sneak off into the unknown to steal fiery kisses and exchange words of endearment. The passion only grew stronger. I'd have to battle my inner self to not succumb to her sweet touch, and it only got harder and harder each day. There were so many things I wanted to do with her, to explore with her, my Bella.

We'd end breathless and disheveled, wrapped in each other's arms, lips swollen, faces red, clothes askew. She was like my own personal drug.

No matter how passionate and heavy our kisses seemed to be, there would always be a particular sweetness and softness, and it was all because of her. At the moment our kisses grew deep, and I felt ourselves drowning in the feelings evoking us, she'd softly run her hands through my hair, or gently caress the sides of my face. An angel's touch on human skin.

It was like several years of hidden emotions and teenage hormones were released in this one week.

How can something so delicate and frail release a tidal wave of emotions within me?

We were both so new at this, but it felt like we've been doing it for years. Just now, however, everything felt a million times better. There was no hesitation or awkwardness in our actions. Everything just felt... right.

...

Right now, looking at her from across the table, I want to kiss her so badly. It was frustrating as hell that we couldn't show affection in front of our family and friends... yet, and I know it was my idea to keep it to ourselves for a little bit, but for the love of all that's holy! My leg was twitching in anticipation to have her alone for the rest of the night.

And more than anything, for today, I want to kiss her at midnight.

Bella caught my gaze and pursed her lips, blushing. It's one of the most adorable things about her. Even after all we've been through this week, she still blushes that beautiful rosy tint.

Do I even have to mention that our feet were touching under the table, or was it just too obvious?

"...back for school, Edward?"I caught the end of someone talking.

"Uh, what, what?" I replied, now fully aware that I had been staring at Bella for the past few seconds.

It was Alice who asked the question. "When are you due back for school? 'Cause if we leave on the same day, I figured we could all hang out for breakfast before some of us would drive or fly back."

I blinked. "Oh," I haven't even thought about school in a while.

Then it dawned on me that I'd have to leave Bella in a week. "On the... seventh, I think." Bella glanced at me once before looking back at her dinner plate. We haven't talked about me leaving soon either.

I know that Bella would start school on the Spring, but that was a month and a half away.

I felt a rock sink at the pit of my stomach.

I would be leaving her in a week.

"Great! So we'll all be at Rina's Cafe on the seventh then!" She turned to Bella, "Bells, you're well enough to wake up in the early morning right? You can't possibly miss our last hang out before going back to school! Please, please, please!"

Bella chuckled, "of course, Alice, wouldn't miss it for the world. In fact, if I said no, you probably would've dragged me out of bed anyway."

Emmett guffawed at how true it was, referring to that one time Alice pounced on his bed to get him out of sober hibernation. The two bickered for the next few minutes as I looked back to see Bella's expression match mine.

After all we've been through lately, neither of us had the slightest intention to be apart... even if it was only for a short amount of time.

At that moment, I didn't care whether we were in front of our family and friends. I reached out across the table and took Bella's hand in mine.

Her eyes softened, and she gave me a sad smile.

… … … … …

**Esme's POV**

I took another sip of wine before returning to my conversation with Renee and Elizabeth. Honestly, I feel like we're three gossiping little sisters.

"I'm telling you, Ezzy, something is 'definitely' going on with those two! Ever since Christmas, those two have been avoiding each other like a plague!" Elizabeth whispered, quickly glancing at my son and Bella, who were on the far end of the dining table. I stared at her, putting my wine glass down. Obviously, I wasn't the only one who noticed.

I brushed it off. "I'm sure it's nothing, Lizzie! You're just looking too deep into it. Those two are fine." Clearly, I was placing myself in denial. I glanced quickly at my son, who was talking to Emmet. Has something happened between him and Bella? They really have been avoiding each other like a plague all week.

"I don't know, Ezzy, Bella is my daughter, and Edward is almost like my son. My mother-radar has been going off quite a lot this week! Don't bring yourself in denial; I know you sense it too." Renee said quickly.

My face broke out in sadness and frustration. "Alright! Alright, I admit, something is definitely going on with them. I wanted to ask them several times last week if anything was wrong, but I was just afraid of making things worse, or being the mother who always butts into their private life," my voice almost broke at the end. I glanced up one more time, and I noticed Edward and Bella looking at each other with sad expressions on their faces. It made me want to cry! "Oooohh, what is going on!" my head almost hit my dinner plate.

"Ezzy, pull yourself together!" Elizabeth whispered.

I felt a warm hand on my back. "Darling, are you alright?" my husband's voice laced with concern. I pinched the bridge of my nose, and looked back up, placing the napkin on my lap over my mouth.

"Yes, love, I'm fine." Oh my, my voice was almost breaking out to cry. Oh! I could feel the tears start to spring. My husband's face almost broke out in panic. Suddenly, I heard a little clatter of plates.

"Oh! Why don't you look at that! All the potatoes are gone! Ezzy, why don't you help me in the kitchen?" Renee came to my rescue.

"And the cranberries are gone too! I'll come with you two. Everyone needs cranberries!" Elizabeth followed.

A few people looked at us strangely, but the mother's on the table had knowing looks on their faces. "Uhm, yes, yes… let's go to the kitchen." I squeezed Carlisle's hand reassuringly before excusing myself.

"Hey, Mom! Can you bring out the pies already?" my son's voice floated through. I looked back at him, seeing his handsome face, and couldn't help but look quickly as well, to my beautiful little Bella, looking at me with a sweet smile on her face. I almost choked back tears.

"Yes, yes… dear, I'll get the… I'll g-get t-the p-p-pies." Oh my goodness, my voice sounded like a whimper before I ran straight to the kitchen door and breathed deeply once I was inside.

"Oh for heaven's sake, Ezzy, this is no time for you to get emotional," said Elizabeth, putting down the empty bowl of potatoes.

My voice came out high-pitched and whiny, "I know, Lizzie, but, it's my son and hopefully future daughter-in-law we're talking about. I don't know why they're acting like this. Renee, why aren't you bawling out mad like me? Isn't that little display driving you insane?" I grabbed a tissue and started wiping my eyes.

"Oh, please don't cry, Ezzy. It's driving me insane too, but it's just at a point where I want to lock up those two in a closet until they make up and start acting all normal again!"

"You know that's not quite a bad idea, Renee," Elizabeth smirked.

"Hush, Lizzie. We're not teenagers here. We are responsible adults with teenage children, and they… they will come to us whenever they need advice. We don't need to be nosy or devious."

"On the contrary," another voice came, "being nosy or devious sometimes works for these kids. You just have to know how to play it right." In came Cecilia Hale, holding an empty gravy boat. Leave it to Cecilia to be the sneaky kind of mother. Thanks to her sneaky ways, Rose and Emmet were finally able to get together after all these years.

"Cecilia, I don't want us to tamper with the strings of love." I retaliated.

Her face brightened. "I knew it! You three are talking about Edward and Bella. I haven't seen them in a week, but isn't it strange how they've been acting distant today?"

"Thank God! I thought I was the only one who noticed." Geneva Brandon now pranced in, holding an empty wine bottle.

"Good heavens, Ginny! That was half-full when I left." I referred the now empty wine bottle.

She shrugged, "I poured the rest on everyone's glasses. I can't miss any conversation that might be going on here in the kitchen! So, what are we discussing?"

"Just the fact that Edward and Bella have not been holding hands, or hugging, or acting all lovey-dovey, or couple-ish this past week," said Cecilia.

"Goodness, has it really been the whole week?" I groaned. Now, Riley McCarty is here, holding a half-empty tray of sliced ham. Us mothers are being too obvious.

"Does everyone really love the food that much?" I exasperated.

"Did something happen between them? Did they fight?"

I finally broke. "I don't know!" I sniffed. "Oh God, I hate not knowing. They were acting just like themselves on Christmas Eve, but after that, they just started standing further away from each other. Do you know how nerve-wrecking it feels?" Renee went by my side, trying to comfort me. "Oh, Renee, before you know it, they might never admit how they love each other. Bella will never be my daughter in law, Edward will never be your son-in-law, we'll never have the prettiest little grandchildren with bronze hair or brown eyes, and you all know how much I fantasized about how my grandchildren will look like from those two, won't they just be the cutest little things? But now, they're not even holding hands, or hugging, or being the lovey-dovey love birds they always are! Ohh! What happened to the lovey-dovey atmosphere!"

A chorus of comfort words came from all my friends.

"Bella and Edward, falling out of love? Oh come, now that's just impossible!"

"I'm sure we're just looking too much into it!"

"It's nothing, I'm certain."

"Those two are inseparable."

Then the door creaked open, revealing a smiling Susan, holding an empty tray of chicken-pot pie. "I know you ladies are talking about the lovey-dovey couple, but there is also a table of curious husbands with absent wives waiting, and I tried distracting them as long as I could, but I suggest everyone return to the table with food before people grow suspicious."

Our spirits sank, but a chorus of thank you's resounded.

"Oh, and speaking of the lovely couple, why don't you all come look over here,…" Susan motioned to the glass window of the kitchen door.

I quirked my brow, but came forward anyway. We all peeped through the small glass window, and the first thing I noticed was that the dinner table was almost completely empty. "Wha- Where'd everyone go?"

"They commenced for a ten-minute stomach break, but that wasn't what I was referring to."

We all looked at Susan quizzically, and she chuckled before allowing us to follow her gaze. They dropped on… Edward and Bella.

They were the only ones left on their side of the table. I watched them most conscientiously. They were…

A hopeful gasp escaped me. "They're…"

"Holding hands…," Renee continued.

"That's a first for today," said another voice.

"Or better yet, a whole week," said another, but I was too engrossed to look back and see who's talking.

They were talking… or maybe whispering, perhaps? "What are they saying?"

"Ginny! You were an ex-private detective! Can you lip-read?"

"I would if I can reach the window! I'm too short, Riley!"

"Wha-? Want me to lift you?"

"Not on your life!"

"Sshh! Everyone quiet! What in the world are they talking about! Edward's doing his puppy face!"

"Damn it! We can't even see what Bella's saying!"

"Her shoulders are shaking so she appears to be laughing."

Just then, Edward laughed and brought up Bella's hand and kissed it… in a most… romantic way. A chorus of gasps erupted the kitchen. My heart almost jumped out of my chest! _What does this mean?_

"Now that is quite a rare sight, am I right Ezzy?" asked Elizabeth.

I just nodded.

Several people shrieked. "Okay, okay, can anyone tell what he's saying now."

My eyes squinted to make out my son's words. "I- I don't know… it looked like he said… uhm… olive juice?"

"Olive juice? Esme, your mouth-reading skills are hopeless." I glared at Cecilia.

"Not quite." We all turned to Ginny. "Come on, olive juice is a good thing! Are you sure that's what you think he said?" She crossed her arms.

We looked at her skeptically. What's with the words olive juice? It doesn't really strike as anything significant to me, anyway. "Come on, Ginny, I for one don't think those words are very significant," Elizabeth said in boredom, staring back out to Bella and Edward.

Ginny smirked slyly, "Oh, you'd be surprised, Lizzie, very surprised." Then she walked away.

"Now, Ginny, you can't just leave us hanging like that!" I whimpered.

"Know this! A lip read that seems like olive juice is easily mistaken for three very important words! It's a british thing!" she bellowed, leaving us to think for ourselves.

A british thing? Maybe I should ask Carlisle.

... ... ... ... ...

**Bella's POV**

It was nearly midnight when Edward and I separated from our family. He took my by the hand and led me to the round gazebo in their rather large backyard. It was a beautiful night. The snow had stopped falling, but practically everything was covered in fresh white snow. Esme's Christmas lights however, were still able to shine like tiny fireflies around the garden.

We had a good chance of getting caught, but I don't think neither of us cared at the moment. He had his silly, handsome grin on his face.

Once we stood on the platform, Edward suddenly spun me around in his arms. I chuckled merrily before he bent down to kiss me, and I lost myself in him.

I whimpered when he pulled away, but he just laughed and nuzzled his face against mine. "I'm finding it really hard to believe that we lasted a week without letting anyone know."

"Mm, maybe they do know, and they're just not telling us. Did you ever think of that?" I replied, running my hands through his hair.

"It's possible." I felt us swaying from side to side. "But I come from a family of horrible actors, and if ever they did suspect anything, I'm sure I would find out."

"Yeah, you're right. It's not that I'm complaining or anything. This week was actually quite... thrilling."I blushed.

"I know. But it's getting even more frustrating."

I looked at him questioningly.

He smiled. "I want to kiss you all the damn time. Every single day, Bella, it gets harder for me to resist."

I felt a fire in me spring to life. I brought my hand down from his hair to his temple and kissed him firmly on the lips. He responded with equal vigor. I wanted him to know that I felt the same way, that I was constantly biting my lip whenever I would see him, and that I had to resist not wrapping my arms around him whenever he caught my gaze.

Once the kiss ended, I leaned my forehead against his and locked my eyes on his emerald gaze.

I wasn't able to give him his Christmas present on the 25th because I wasn't done making it, but now felt like the perfect time. I reached into my pocket and pulled out a tiny box, holding it up for him to see.

He looked at me curiously after spotting the little Christmas present. "I'm sorry it's late. I was just too caught up with what happened last week that... I couldn't find enough time to make it before Christmas."

Edward chuckled, his smile reaching his eyes before his hand stroked my arm, making its way up to my open palm. "You are the sweetest girlfriend in the world."

My face heated up again at the words, 'girlfriend.' I'm still not used to hearing him say it. I moaned into his kiss. "Mmm, and you are the most adorable boyfriend in the world."

He gave me a look. "Adorable? Come on, Bella. What a way to severe my manhood."

I just chuckled. Why can't boys ever take adorable or cute as a compliment?

Edward opened the tiny box before me, and I held my breath.

When his face went blank, I got nervous. "I- I don't know if you remember, but you left it in my keepsake box several years ago."

He pulled out the leather Celtic bracelet before us, looking at it in astonishment. "Grandpa's charm. I haven't seen this in ages!" his voice filling with astonishment.

I smiled.

When we were younger, Edward's grandfather gave him a tiny Celtic bracelet with a silver lion, so he could remember the family's Irish roots. We were only eight years old when he passed away, and since then, Edward never took it off his wrist. But as we grew older, the leather broke and became too tiny for him to wear. I still remember the sullen look on his face when he came to my room one day with the broken leather in his hands. He left it inside my keepsake box because he was afraid of losing it himself, and I remember feeling really touched that he trusted me to keep it for him. Edward was very close to his grandfather, and that Celtic charm was one of Edward's most prized possessions. I aired it out last week and decided to replace the leather band with something thicker and stronger, but kept the lion in its original place.

"Bella," he looked at me, "you made this?" he stroked the leather band with his thumb and forefinger.

I just shrugged and smirked. The knots on the leather band were really tricky to follow so it took me longer than usual, but it was more than worth it. "I tried to stay authentic and Irish," I explained, taking it from him and circling it around his wrist. "Just be thankful that it looks more manly than girly."

Edward chuckled, examining it on his wrist. A soft smile came to his face.

It's the kind of smile that makes your heart want to melt, and I knew he was thinking of his grandfather. I don't remember much about the old man, but I do remember sitting on his lap as he cooed me to sleep. I never knew my grandparents, so Edward's seemed to have adopted me as one of their own, and I treated them as they were mine.

I still miss him.

"Do you like it?"

He looked down and took my hands in his, kissing my fingers softly. "Of all the things I inherited from my grandfather, this," he referred to his bracelet, "was the most important."

He leaned forward until our foreheads touched, as we swayed from side to side. "And _you_ remembered. Thank you." His kiss was sweet and slow, and my eyes closed to their own accord.

… … … … …

**Edward's POV**

I swear everyday she just keeps getting more and more amazing.

We continued swaying side to side, soundless music riveting through our heads. It was a moment I wanted to remember forever.

"I've always wanted to dance with you under the snow," Bella whispered, staring up at me. "I know it sounds cheesy but," she chuckled, " it was a teenage fantasy of mine."

I looked at her, amused at the new information, "really? You know, even though we were just friends, I would have danced with you under the snow. In fact, I would have loved it!" Then a sudden memory flashed back, and my head hung lower.

"What's wrong?" her hands went up to my hair. A comforting gesture.

A slight pang of regret hit me. "Or maybe I should have just asked you, like any normal gentleman."

She shook her head, smiling. "There you go again, Edward. I know that look on your face. Enough with the regrets. All that matters is now right?"

I smiled, kissing her forehead. "I know. But it's just that…"

"Just that what?"

I sighed, "if I'd asked you to dance with me back then,"

"Wait… back when?"

"The winter fair a few years ago. You know…," I was a little hesitant to bring back the memory. It was quite near to a painful pastime we had, "I choked back then. Instead of asking you to dance, I let someone else take you from me, but if I hadn't… maybe… we could have been each others first kiss."

Bella's eyes went wide for a little while, before looking away sheepishly. "Uuh… y-yeah, right. My uh… uh first kiss."

"But hey, it's in the past right? Doesn't matter anymore." I forced out a smile.

"Uuhhmm…," It hurt when Bella suddenly stepped away from me and started fidgeting. Huh?

"Bella, what's wrong?"

She put her fingers on her forehead, as if she was trying to stifle a migraine. "Uh, yeah, about my uh… first kiss." Her blush quickly crept up her face.

"Wha-," was there something I didn't know, "what about it? It was Laurent right?" She looked at me nervously, and it made me nervous as well. "Bella? Is there something you're not telling me."

"If I do, you might get mad," she replied quickly.

My brows raised in surprise. "Why… would I get mad?" I asked slowly. "Laurent _was_ your first kiss right?"

"Well," the fidgeting got worse, and the nerves were kicking me, "technically yes, he was my first kiss but…"

"Technically? Wha- Bella, if your first kiss was someone else then why in the world don't I know about him?" Bella kissed someone else? Who in the world is it! Why didn't she tell me? And why do I feel like kicking this guy's ass right now!

She groaned. "Well, it was practically your fault anyway!" She pointed at me accusingly.

I stood, aghast. "My fault? What in the world did I do?"

…

**15yearsold15yearsold15yearsold**

**Bella's POV**

_I pulled the blanket over my head in desperate attempt to get warm, but I still shivered. I hate it when cold nights tend to wake me up in the wee hours of the morning. It's a surprise that I've lived in Forks ever since I was born. I should be used to this by now. _

_I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping it would help shield me against the cold. November nights are starting to get worse. It's just too cold. _

_Just as I was about to drift off, I felt the bed move and the sound of sheets ruffling. _

_What...?_

_A warm gush of air spread through my face, and I squinted my closed eyelids in surprise. After a few seconds, I realized that the warm air had a constant beat, so I opened my drowsy eyes to look at the peculiar cause. _

_Edward. _

_I sighed in relief and smiled, feeling all warm inside at the sight of his sleeping face. He's snoring again. It was no surprise for me to see him here all of a sudden anymore. Years of creeping to each others rooms will do that. But I wonder what time he came in? He probably should have woken me up._

_Since we were both under the blanket, his features were darker than usual, but I could still make out the contours of his face._

_I almost chuckled. Silly Edward._

_Slowly, I reached up a finger and traced it down his profile very gently. When he squinted, I drew back. My fingers were probably ice cold. _

_He sighed in his sleep, his nose wrinkling a little bit. My lips lifted in a smirk. I don't care what he says about being adorable... he still IS adorable, especially in his sleep. I wonder how he would act if he heard me say that. _

_Lost in my own thoughts, I barely registered Edward's body as he shifted on the bed and suddenly wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me a lot closer than we already were. I gasped when he hugged me tightly like a security blanket, our bodies flush, and his face pressing against mine in a loving manner. My heart raced quickly, and I had to bite back a surprised squeak. Even his legs kept me in his embrace._

_His body felt so warm. _

_I was stiff like an ice sculpture for about a minute before forcing myself to relax in his arms._

_Too close. Too close. Too close, my head chanted. I took a deep breath and tried pulling away a bit, but my intentions backfired. He tightened his hold on my body, and I couldn't find any means of escape whatsoever. My third try was still a failure. I tried pulling away so slowly, but just as I was about half way out, he groaned, catching my by surprise, and dove back into the embrace. I sighed, an imaginary white flag waving on top of my head, as I melted against him. _

_As if he realized I was giving up, I noticed his mouth curve up to smirk. I raised my brow. Is he awake?_

_"Edward?" I whispered. _

_He didn't reply. _

_Any attempt probably would have been futile, so I just let him be. I rested my palms on his chest, feeling incredibly warm and protected. I don't think I remember him hugging me this tightly in our sleep before. But if there's one thing I knew at this moment, it's that I never wanted to leave his embrace. How many times have I imagined this? _

_I stared back up at his sleeping face, feeling a familiar whirl of emotions rise inside me._

_He looks like a little boy. _

_I've known that I liked Edward for a long time now, but I never did anything about it. _

_Every single day, I wanted to tell him. _

_But I was too scared. _

_I glanced to his long lashes, perfect cheekbones, and perfect nose, then down to his lips. My hand absentmindedly came up to his face, and this time, he didn't flinch._

_Has he ever kissed anyone, I wonder? If he did he would tell me about it right? We never keep secrets from each other. A pang of hurt hit my chest at the thought of Edward kissing someone else. He will eventually kiss someone after all. And who'd think that that girl would be me?_

_But... I wanted Edward to be my first kiss. I don't want my first kiss to just be someone random in high school. I want it to be with someone I truly care about, and whenever I look back, I know I wouldn't have any regrets. _

_I looked toward his sleeping face once again, regarding his closed eye lids. If I move just a little bit, I was sure I would be able kiss him._

_But if he doesn't kiss back, it wouldn't even be considered a kiss right? Because, I mean... he wouldn't even respond to it. I would never steal away his first kiss. I wouldn't take advantage of it just because we're in this tight situation. _

_The thought of kissing him was such a temptation... I couldn't bring myself to stop thinking about it. _

_And before I knew it, my face was inching closer to his._

_... ... ... ... ..._

**Present**

I stood rigid, baffled at the new found information that was just shared. Bella stood a few feet away with her back facing me, so I couldn't see her expression, even though I really really wanted to. Just a minute ago, I felt like kicking some guys ass who'd ever stolen away my Bella's first kiss... but it turns out that, Bella stole mine.

She kissed me when we were fifteen, before the winter fair, before Laurent, and... in my sleep?

Bella kissed me.

When we were fifteen.

Before the winter fair.

Before Laurent.

...

In my sleep.

"Soo...," I began stepping closer to her, "you kissed me." I just needed the clarification. "We... we were fifteen, and you kissed me... in my sleep."

She fidgeted in her spot, "You're going to make me say it again aren't you?" I'd like to tell that story to our future children if you don't mind.

I couldn't help the smirk starting to form my lips as I walked a bit closer. "If you don't mind."

Her shoulders lifted from the deep breathe she just made. "You're never going to let me live this down, I can already tell," she huffed in annoyance, which only made me smile even more. She's quite right though.

"Mhm." I agreed.

Of all the years I've been tempted to kiss Bella in her sleep, I thought I had the lowest self control there is in the teenage world. Little did I know that my best friend actually gave in to something I've been dying to do since we were thirteen.

"Then forget it! I'm not saying it again." I didn't need to look at her to know that her face was as red as an apple. "And besides, I didn't even realize that I was about to kiss you! It just sorta happened! And I was so shocked when I actually did it! Do you know how guilty I felt afterwards? Stealing my best friend's first kiss, in his sleep nonetheless!"

I laughed in my spot. "You are so cute."

"Urgh! You're part to blame too you kno- oh!"

In one swift move, I enveloped her in my arms from behind, resting my chin against her shoulder. She stumbled a bit in surprise, but I steadied her in my arms. I couldn't help but just laugh. "Alright, you can stop talking now, but I just want to clarify...," I spun her quickly in my arms so she was facing me, and yes, her face was as red as an apple, and mine was as glee as santa clause. "I'm your first kiss?"

She gulped before looking down and nodding silently. "Technically," she added in a whisper.

I was suddenly engulfed with pride and happiness, and ever so slowly, my hands made their way from her waist, up to her neck, silently asking her to look me in the eye. She looked up nervously, and I let her know with a big smile, that in no way was I ever angry at her past actions. I'm her first kiss.

"I'm sorry I stole your first kiss, and uh, took advantage of you in your sleep." she whispered sheepishly.

I chuckled, "I should be _thanking_ you for stealing my first kiss. I hated thinking that my first kiss was Jessica this whole time," I squinted at the memory. That had not been pleasant.

She chuckled and gave me a small smile. "I just wanted to be your first everything," her fingers played with my collar, as I tucked a strand of hair behind her ears.

"You are, Bella." I clarified. "You are my first... one... and only _everything." _Staring into her eyes, I leaned down and placed a tender kiss on her lips, stroking her cheek with the pad of my thumb. When we pulled away, the smile on her face took my breath away.

"TEN!"

We both turned to the house at the same time, realizing that it was already the countdown to New Year's. We could hear the ruckus of, not only my house, but the other houses surrounding us as well.

"NINE!"

Bella and I laughed in each other's arms, forgetting where we actually were.

"EIGHT!"

I cupped her face in my hands, tucking the stray strands of her hair behind her ears, revealing her lovely, rose-tinted face.

"SEVEN!"

"No distractions this time," I said.

"SIX!"

She shook her head, laying her hands on my chest, and maintaining her gaze on mine.

"FIVE!"

"Nope. No distractions," she smiled.

"FOUR!"

Our heads moved closer each passing second.

"THREE!"

Our foreheads touched.

"TWO!"

Our noses caressed.

"ONE!... HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Applause and cheers all around.

And then we kissed...

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**Esme's POV:**

I happily wrapped my arms around my husband's neck, kissing him amidst the cheers and confetti that surrounded the living room floor. Another year has passed, time to start a new one... and it better be damned good! I chuckled to myself.

I tasted wine on my husband's lips before we pulled away, but still stayed in each other's arms. His lips hummed as they pressed against my nose, and I giggled in delight. Honestly, I can never get enough of this man.

I couldn't hear what he said when he pulled away from me because of all the noise that was still around us, but as I read his lip, it almost looked like he said, 'olive juice.' I cast him a weird look. Why is that word so popular today?

"What!" I replied.

He repeated it. "I said I .. . . .." The noise still blocked my husband's words, but it still looked like he said olive juice. I've never exactly heard of an olive juice. I doubt that they would taste pleasant as well, or did he want a martini with an olive? Hmm...maybe it's a british thing.

I placed my lips to his ear and asked him quite loudly, "did you say you wanted olive juice?"

He looked at me amusedly and chuckled, shaking his head. "No! No! I said I love you."

"Oh!" I laughed, feeling hopeless at my lipreading skills. Smiling, he pulled me aside, taking the glass of wine in my hands and settling it down the table.

"Come with me," he said, and I let him guide me out of the living room, and into his study. He turned to kiss me one more time before heading behind his desk. "Now, you don't think I forgot about today did you? January 1st?" He pulled open his drawer, taking out something from inside.

I smiled shyly, crossing my arms over my chest. "Enlighten me, my love." He never forgets anything.

My husband walked in front of me with his hands still behind his back. "It was New Year's Day. London was a mass of bright lights at the stroke of midnight."

"I stood alone, watching the fireworks around the park," I continued for him, "tears in my eyes, hung from a heartbreak." It was the first day we met.

He smiled. "I stood alone, watching the fireworks around the park, enjoying my final days in London alone, before I leave for the Americas."

"I walked about mindlessly until I found myself sitting inside a lovely gazebo." I even remember what it looked like that night. Christmas lights all around, and rose vines running up the pillars. But I was still a young girl from another country suffering from a heartbreak.

"The night was coming at a close for me, but I knew that I still had to visit one little place. A place that I'd been visiting since I was a little boy. I guess you could call it my thinking spot," he chuckled, his eyes wondering back, "I never shared it with anyone." He finally revealed his hands, holding out a velvet box with red ribbons. I smirked at him knowingly. "But that was until I met you." He placed the present in my hands before wrapping them loosely around my waist. "I didn't see your face at first. But I remember feeling irritated that someone else was sitting in my thinking spot."

I chuckled warmheartedly, leaning more against him while starting at my new present. "I remember feeling so shy and embarrassed that someone was there to witness me crying my eyes out."

"With that sullen aura you were sending out, I knew I couldn't ask you to leave or move aside. So..."

"You stood in front of me instead and asked if I was all right. I remember my heart skipping a beat after hearing your voice."

"And my world turned upside down when you looked at me with those tear-filled eyes." We gazed into each other, leaning into one's embrace. "Your eyes were so beautiful and sad, you almost stole my heart right then and there."

"You sat down next to me and started to talk. My heart was broken, yet you were picking up the pieces during those first few minutes."

"I was so nervous talking to such a beautiful woman."

"And I was nervous talking to such a handsome man."

"When the music started playing our song, I asked you to dance, and you smiled despite your dry tears." His hands went from my back, trailing down my arms and to my hands, my gift resting between our two left hands.

"I took your hand, feeling warm against the snow, and you swayed us side to side, stealing my heart right then and there." Carlisle swayed me side to side, both of us laughing from the memory. It was such a lovely first meeting. "I don't remember how long we danced..."

"But we grew closer more and more, and before I knew it, your tears were gone and you looked up to face me clearly."

"I bumped your nose." I smiled, pressing my nose against his.

He chuckled. "My heart skipped a beat, starring at your emerald eyes..."

"And your sapphire eyes captivated me completely." We both knew what was coming next. Leaning in slowly, I met my husbands lips in a sweet kiss before pulling away. "You dipped me real low, and we kissed at that moment."

He entwined our right hands and kissed the back of my hand. "And we haven't let go ever since."

I chuckled, stealing another kiss, "You were always such a romantic."

He smirked, "Are you going to open your present or not?"

I turned to my back, giving him a smug expression, "I take that back, Cullen." I was just about to pull the ribbon off my gift when I felt his arms wrap around me from behind, kissing my neck softly. I couldn't help but smile. I tugged the red ribbon, letting it spill down to the hardwood floor. My fingers brushed the soft fabric of the velvet before opening the box. What I saw absolutely took my breath away.

"It was my grandmother's," he whispered.

It was a necklace with a tear drop shaped pendant made of emerald and sapphire. The design was so antique and timeless, I was afraid it might shatter under my fingertips. "Carlisle, it's so beautiful," I turned to face him, "but it was your grandmother's. I can't possibly ta-" he silenced me with a kiss.

Once he pulled away, he took the box from me and slowly pulled out the priceless antique. It shimmered under the fire-light. "My grandmother loved you, Esme." He turned me slowly, and placed the silver chain around my neck. "I know she would have wanted you to have them." When it was safely clasped around my neck, I touched the pendant with my fingertips, feeling warmth radiating from the two stones. I closed my eyes for a second before wrapping my arms around my husbands neck.

"Thank you," I whispered, kissing him once. "I love you," I added, starring up at his sapphire eyes as he gazed back down on me with more love in his eyes.

"And I love you." We locked into a passionate kiss. How lucky am I to have such a wonderful husband in my life?

When we pulled away, I chuckled a little bit, remembering what happened a little earlier. "What?" he asked me, a funny expression on his face.

"Nothing. It's just that, earlier, back in the living room, I kept thinking that you were asking me to get you olive juice, when you were actually saying, 'I love you.' My lipreading skills are close to hopeless."

He laughed, pulling me closer. "Olive juice, huh? Hmm, can't say I'm that surprised though. Your lipreading skills aren't hopeless at all." He pecked me on the lips, but I looked at him, puzzled.

"Why ever not?"

He just shrugged his shoulders, "I'd say it's universal knowledge, but I guess it's more of a British thing than American."

I cocked my head. "You know, Ginny said the same thing earlier. What does it mean, exactly?" I asked him quickly, getting more and more anxious.

"Olive juice is a common mistake of lipreading the words 'I love you.' In fact, it became quite popular that people would actually say the words olive juice instead of I love you in rabid crowds if they want to make it easier for their significant others to lipread their words. Uh, does that make any sense?"

I stood aghast.

"Esme, love, are you all right?"

My heart started beating quickly. Edward and Bella. Holding hands. Laughing at the table. Avoiding each other all week. Is it possible that...?

"Esme?"

"Where are Edward and Bella?" I asked suddenly, trying to recall if I saw them at all at the living room. Usually Edward would always come up to give me a kiss. Where in the world was he? I walked out of my husbands arms, leaving him confused. "Edward didn't greet us when the countdown ended. Bella didn't too..." I walked out of the study as quickly as I could, once again hearing all the laughter that resounded the house.

"Darling, where are you going?" Carlisle asked, hot on my heels.

I entered the living room, scanning my head around the entire area.

"Esme! Carlisle! Where've you two been sneaking off too?" Renee smiled, hanging on to Phil on the other side.

I felt Carlisle take me hand. They're not here. "Have you seen Edward and Bella at all?" I asked urgently.

Sweet pea  
Apple of my eye  
Don't know when and I don't know why  
You're the only reason I keep on coming home

"Aw, Esme, love! It's our song playing." Carlisle smiled.

Renee thought for a second. "Come to think of it, I don't think so. They weren't here during the countdown were they? Bella usually gives me a hug after that. I have to say, I am hurt." Phil chuckled behind her and kissed her head.

"Why don't you check the kitchen? The kids escaped to the food tray after midnight." Phil said.

Sweet pea  
What's all this about  
Don't get your way all you do is fuss and pout  
You're the only reason I keep on coming home

Needless to say, I rushed to the kitchen, dragging my poor husband behind me. When I opened the door, I caught the end of Emmet, Rose, Jasper, and Alice looking outside the window of the sink, laughing and giggling before they heard me open the kitchen door.

"Oh! Hi Esme! Carlisle! What's up?" Alice cheerfully asked, acting as if nothing happened.

"Yeah, uh," Emmet scratched his head.

Carlisle stepped in beside me. "What in the world were you kids doing by the sink?"

"Nothing!" Rose and Jasper said at the same time.

I like the Rock of Gibraltar  
I always seem to falter  
And the words just get in the way

I stalked them like a predator, and all of them backed up to the sink. "What were you all looking at outside the window?"

Oh I know I'm gonna crumble  
I'm trying to stay humble  
But I never think before I say

"Uh, j-just the snow... Mrs. Cullen." Jasper stuttered.

"It's such a lovely sight." Rosalie smiled.

I looked back at my husband one more time, raising my brow. He seemed to follow me. "You kids stay inside the kitchen."

Carlisle and I sprinted toward the screen door to the backyard, and we immediately heard laughter.

Sweet pea  
Keeper of my soul  
I know sometimes I'm out of control

I stopped walking when I reached the bottom step of the porch, my eyes stuck on our Christmas lit gazebo.

Edward and Bella... dancing and laughing. My breath caught my throat, wanting to look at my husband, but my eyes were stuck on my son and Bella.

They looked so happy. Their eyes dancing with glee. I've never seen them this happy.

You're the only reason I keep on coming

He spun her around, and she laughed with glee. I felt my husband take my hand in his, and I entwined our fingers. It looked just like that day...

You're the only reason I keep on coming yeah

Just like that day, my son dipped his girl, holding her by the waist, and they shared a kiss.

I gasped, my hand coming up to my mouth, feeling tears prickle my eyes.

They heard me, their eyes widening in surprise.

"Uh, hi mom...dad."

You're the only reason I keep on coming home

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**(Peeks out of the closet) Uh... I hope that was okay :) **

**What's my excuse for disappearing all of a sudden? Sigh. The usual... Life. You all know how that feels like. **

**A GAZZILLION APOLOGIES for not updating a long long time ago :( There were so many PM's and uh...*cough* flames *cough*, but I just couldn't get out of life. But I just want all of you to know that I have NO INTENTION OF ABANDONING this story :) I love it too much... and it's my first work *shrugs***

**Btw, LINKS of some stuff in this chapter are on my profile. And... about Esme and Carlisle's song, Sweet Pea... I know it's a recent song :)) Lol! But I just had to include it :) Just use your imagination, like we all do :D It's fiction after all! **

**I've already started on the next chapter, just so you know :)**

**And, you know the usual drill:**

**REVIEW if you want a SNEAK PEAK of the next chapter :) **

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**(Hides back inside the closet)**


	18. Under The Blanket Adventures

**Okaaay, I know it has been a LOOOONG while since I updated (laughs shyly). But... that's life, and I've had a pretty rough couple of months. But hey, I'm not giving up on this!**

**By the way, I'm sorry I wasn't able to send you any sneak peaks for this chapter! It slipped my stupid, forgetful mind, and before I knew it, I had already finished the chapter. I'll make it up to you all, I promise! **

**Anyway... I shall not delay you any longer! **

**READ the TITLE. This chapter is ALL FLUFF… with a little bit-a sumthin' at the end :D**

**P.S. This chappie is UN-EDITED! I could edit it... but that might take me another couple of days at least. Couldn't let you wait anymore.**

**Here goes...**

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**CHAPTER 18: Under The Blanket Adventures**

**Bella's POV**

It was the day after New Year's. Two days ever since everyone, and I mean 'everyone' found out about Edward and me. Ecstatic is an understatement for what our family and friends felt when we finally came clean. I mean, there wasn't any way to make an excuse out of us making out and dancing under the gazebo on the countdown to New Year's.

I smiled involuntarily.

Maybe we can just blame it on the mistletoe.

"Admit it! You guys kissed under the mistletoe didn't you? That's where it all started!" Alice exclaimed in the most silent way possible. Speaking of mistletoe, here were the two culprits responsible, invading my personal bed space at eight in the morning. There's just no getting past them. What in my father's right mind possessed him to let these two in the house early in the morning? Isn't he supposed to be at work by now?

"Alice, couldn't we talk about this at another time? Waltzing into my bedroom before eight in the morning? I mean, really? Ever even heard of knocking?" I whispered just as silently, rubbing my eyes of stardust.

"No way, you got away with us for far too long now. God knows when we'll hang out again, since_ 'he'_ has been hogging you for the rest of our winter break." Rosalie stressed on the word. "And knocking is for shmucks, by the way. I'm pretty glad we didn't though. I knew you wouldn't let us in, with you still being asleep and peaceful and all." I blushed.

Alice giggled. "Oh, he's gotta be one hell of a shag to make you blush like that." My eyes widened at Alice to think that she would make such an accusation this early in our relationship.

"Alice!" I hissed, wanting to grab at her, but I didn't dare move. "Shut up, we haven't even done… that," red as a strawberry, "yet." I don't know why that last word sounded more like a question than a statement.

"Really?" They chorused, looking at me in disbelief.

I stared at them, aghast. "What? Did you think we would put out just after a week?"

"Aha! So you guys did kiss on Christmas day!" I hushed Rosalie. "I knew it would work!"

"Don't give yourself too much credit, blondie. It was my idea." Alice pointed at her noggin.

She gave Alice a once over. "Yeah, but who was tall enough to hammer them on the doorframe, shortcake."

"You guys, keep quiet," I interrupted, "can you please visit on another time. Don't you think this is a little inappropriate?"

"Why? It's not like you're naked under this blanket."

God blessed me with such perverted friends. "That… wasn't what I was referring to-,"

"So you 'are' naked under this blanket?"

I groaned, "Oh God, no, I am not. Can you leave now?"

"Hm," Rose smirked at Alice, "fork it over, shortcake. Bella is still pure vanilla." I quirked my brow. Vanilla? She held out her palm toward her. Alice shot her an irritated glare then reached towards her pocket and pulled out a… twenty dollar bill. When it dawned on me, my eyes widened in shock.

"Oh my God, did you guys bet on my virginity?"

"On yours and Edward's virginity to be precise."

"Always the smart one, Bella." Alice shrugged, "we had to keep things interesting, since you guys wouldn't confess after Christmas."

"So you all knew!"

Rose rolled her eyeballs. "Duh," she pocketed the twenty, "you guys were trying too hard not to show it. I mean, come on, you weren't even touching each other."

"That's not the point, blondie! Bella, I bet twenty bucks! I hate losing at this game. Whyyy!" Alice frowned. I don't even know why she's asking 'why.'

"Serves you right, I mean, why in the world would you think that we would put out so soon?"

Rosalie pursed her lips, "actually, Bella, we kinda thought that you already did it last Christmas day."

I almost gasped in surprise. "Huh!"

Alice agreed, "yeah, think of it… you guys had years of sexual hormones finally released that one night. Why do you think I bet twenty bucks on it?"

I tried covering my ears. "I'm not talking about this anymore."

"Jasper and I put out on our third date." Alice said as if it were the most normal thing to say. "We weren't each other's first, but it was reeaally really sweet," she said in a daydream voice.

"Alice, I don't want to hear about you and Jasper when it's the first thing in the morning, and-,"

"Hey, Emmet and I lost our V to each other on Junior Prom." Rose said smugly.

Alice and I stared at her blankly. "What?"

"You never told us that story!"

"Rosalie!"

She nodded, still looking smug. "Hang out with us at noon, Bella, I'll tell you all about it." It's like blackmail!

"Rose… I-," I jumped when the bed suddenly shifted, and the arms surrounding my torso hugged me closer. Even Rosalie and Alice jumped out of the bed in surprise. His warm breath ticked my chest and snuggled into me as if I were a pillow. I smiled. I've gotten quite used to that now.

"She'll hang out with you girls at two." Edward said, his eyes opening and staring blankly at my two girlfriends, albeit, a little irritated. "But right now, I need you to get out."

Did I mention he was actually here? I sighed, smiling against his hair, amused at the situation. So much for keeping quiet.

"Edward!" Alice exclaimed, playing with her fingers out of a nervous habit. "How long have you been up?" she asked, trying to keep a smile on her face. I raised my brow at them, and continued running my fingers through Edward's hair. A little mantra to keep him relaxed.

"Long enough to endure girl talk, now please let us sleep." He murmured, clearly annoyed at being woken up.

They chuckled in embarrassment.

"Oh sure."

"No prob."

"We'll see you at two, Bella."

"Give us a call."

"You guys look so adorable by the way."

"Yeah, so cute!"

Edward must have shot them the evil eye. I shook my head. Such a grouch when woken up unexpectedly.

"Okay, bye!" The last thing I heard of them running out the door were the words, 'Jasper,' 'Emmet,' and 'fifty bucks,' or something. What is it with our friends and bets?

Edward gave a sound between a sigh and a groan, and moved his body closer to mine than it already was. Not that I was complaining. Our arms were still wrapped around each other, my hands playing with the curls of his ruddy hair as his breath tickled my breast.

"Okay, so how long have you really been up?" I asked.

He kissed the bare skin peeking out of my shirt. "Somewhere around the words 'vanilla and shortcake.'"

I chuckled, kissing his hair. "Sorry we woke you up."

"'S alright… although," his hands suddenly snaked their way under my sleep shirt, gliding firmly across my bare back. I shivered under his touch, "I would much rather prefer you naked under this blanket."

I laughed silently. "You're an idiot." I felt him smile against my chest then sigh again. When I made a move to sit up, his weight held me back down.

"Don't you dare get up," he uttered, pressing his head deeper to snuggle on my breasts. "It's far too warm and comfortable, Bella." I wasn't sure if he was pertaining to the bed or… me.

"Are you sure that's the reason?" I smirked, staring at his mass of bed-headed curls using my chest as a pillow. I just felt him smile.

...

**Edward's POV**

"No."

I nodded.

"No way."

I nodded more.

"You're lying!"

Now this time, I shook my head.

"Go to hell."

I raised a brow.

"I just can't believe it."

I just shrugged, a smug look plastered on my face. It was a comical display, Bella and I. She had her mouth open and her eyes wide, while I had my lips pursed and eyes languid.

"_You_ were my geeky secret admirer in sixth grade? The one who left me letters on my locker, roses on my doorstep, and chocolates on my table?" She exasperated. I half-nodded- geeky? What the?

"Geeky? Hey! You told me you thought he was sweet, I mean 'I' was sweet. I mean, you told me back then that your secret admirer, ergo 'me,' was really sweet! How in the world was that geeky?" I defended.

Bella laughed and rested her head back against the pillow. We were back in Bella's bedroom, sprawled out across her mattress at ten-thirty in the morning still laughing our heads off at every new found information we'd been sharing for the past week. With Bella's sleeping hours still irregular, she'd usually wake up in the middle of the night, and I'll be damned if she'd spend that time all alone while I slept soundly in my own subconscious. It had been me sneaking out to visit her at night this time.

"It was sweet, Edward, and it wasn't me who called it geeky. Rose and Alice would make me blush all the time because of those letters. They were the ones who nicknamed you my geeky admirer."

I made a face. "Whatever." I huffed. She laughed again, and took my face in her hands.

"Well, I thought it was one of the sweetest things anyone has ever done for me. Call me cheesy, but it felt nice to have someone admire you from afar." She leaned in for a kiss, and I smiled beneath it. "Why did you feel the need to do it anyway?" she asked, pulling away mush to my dismay.

I smirked, kissing her again in the gentlest way possible. "Believe it or not, it was Emmet and Jasper who encouraged me to do it. They've known for a while that I liked you so they helped me come up with a scheme to help me confess…" I sighed, "obviously it didn't work. I choked at the last second, as usual." I smiled, recalling my younger dorky ways.

She giggled underneath me, and honestly, the little vibration wasn't helping me with my little problem down south. "I'd love to hear that story."

I nuzzled her cheek. "I'll tell you more about it next time." She moaned in response, running her fingers through my hair, practically hypnotizing me. Can't have that now, can we? My body rested lay halfway on top of her, my right leg resting between hers. I kissed and sucked at her neck, until I heard her sigh in contentment. I glanced up to notice her eyes closed, a savoring look upon her features.

_Beautiful. _

Our physical relationship had been growing day by day. It's not like we could escape our teenage hormones, which had been lying dormant since we hit puberty anyway. One second, we were exchanging sweet pecks on the lips, and at the next minute, we'd by lying in bed in the middle of a hormonal frenzy.

But of course… just as we were about to take it to the next level, something, or someone would always intrude. Cell phones, and my old room were our worst enemies. And now it seems that Bella's room was a target too, seeing that Alice and Rosalie sneaked into the room this morning and completely disregarded my presence.

That's why nighttimes were our best private moments.

Not to be disrespectful, but, in Bella's house, Charlie slept like a log. I could honk an air horn in his bedroom and he still wouldn't wake up. Bella's words, not mine.

"How 'bout you?" I asked, stopping my little endeavour on her neck and looking up to see her face express disappointment. I smirked in amusement.

She gave me a skeptical look, saying that she knew that I did it intentionally. "What about me?" she repeated.

I played with her hair resting on the pillow, twirling it with my fingers. "Was there ever a time when you wanted or 'almost' told me how you felt about me? Can't have been all me right? I mean, you must have done something." I almost pleaded for a loaded answer.

A huge smile broke her face as she turned her head, closed her eyes and buried her face half-way through the pillow. "Oh my God…" she murmured.

It almost lowered my spirits, so I rested my chin on her shoulder instead. "Don't laugh at me! At least make me feel like you were a secret admirer too, and that it wasn't a one-sided wooing. Don't laugh at me, bookworm!"

"I'm not laughing at you, you dope!" she smiled, facing me again, "I'm laughing because I just remembered something back when I was fourteen."

I raised my head again, interested. "Really? Wasn't that around the time you realized that I was actually attractive?"

She smiled and bit her lower lip while looking at me, but I quickly released it with my thumb. "Hey, I know it's sexy when you do that, but how many times do I have to tell you that that's my job now." Leaning in, I sucked and nibbled at her bottom lip to prove my point. God, she was scrumptious. Bella chuckled and kissed me full on the lips before pulling back.

"It's an old habit, Edward, now do you want to hear what I have to say or not?" I chuckled before kissing her again.

I rested my weight on my elbow, "alright, let's have it."

"Alright," she smiled, touching my lip with her forefinger. "Truth?"

"Truth."

She bit her lip again by habit and I released it again with my thumb. She stared at me right in the eye, "truth is… I actually did confess that I liked you."

...

Suddenly, I felt the world pause in its hilt, like a movie or tv show, where I'm the narrator, explaining how truly impossible it is what she's saying.

…Hmm, talk about unexpected.

My face went blank. I knew that backtracking on my memories would be futile, because if Bella actually 'did' confess, I would _definitely_ remember it, without a doubt! "Uh, no you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"To my face?"

She nodded.

"Uh, no you didn't," it almost sounded like a question this time.

Bella laughed beneath me some more, covering her mouth with her hand as she tried to tone down her voice. "Bells, quit laughing will you? It's not funny. You never told me you liked me before! If you did, I'd remember it, and I 'definitely' would have done something about it." Sheesh, God knows how crazy I was about her when I was that age.

Her body shook underneath me, "Urgh! I know, I know," she smiled at me, "you just look so cute when you're dumbfounded." I sighed. She'd been using the word 'cute' around me a lot lately. I know it's a compliment, but it doesn't make a man feel as good as it should. Bella cleared her throat a bit and shifted to sit up on the headboard. I gave her space to do so, and ended up partially hugging her stomach while looking up at her. She played idly with my hair, smiling as if reminiscing. "But I did tell you 'once' that I liked you…I…I just can't believe I forgot about that day, that's all. It's like I actually managed to bury an important memory at the back of my head. Back then, I didn't think it was possible to forget." She shrugged, looking down at the duvet.

My face turned serious. "Wait, so… you really did tell me?" I asked slowly and unsurely. She stared at me and smirked, answering my question. My eyes went wide in disbelief. "What?" I gave a loud whisper. I shifted a little, resting my weight on my hand so our heads were on the same level. "Bella, please tell me how it's possible that I don't know about this."

"Because, Edward," she fiddled with my shirt, "you sort of… took it the wrong way, and part of me was a little relieved that you did, so I kind of just let it drop."

I raised her chin gently with my finger so we could look at each other directly. "Bella, when did you tell me?" I smiled at her, explicit joy and amusement filling me with the information.

She sighed deeply, smiling back. "It was right around the time when I realized that I actually had feelings for you, although I didn't know it was love yet. It was sort of a random spur of the moment."

I smirked, "why? Was it something I did?"

She nodded. "You… asked me this question," her eyes lifted to meet mine.

**…**

**Bella's POV**

"_What would you do if I died, Bella?"_

_My upper body shot up quickly from the ground as I stared down at Edward who was still lying on the grass, an expressionless look on his face. "What?" I asked, a sound of hurt in my voice. "Edward, why would you ask that?" A fear settled in my stomach._

_He sighed, rolling onto his side, resting his head on his hand. He looked so handsome with the colors of the sunset painting his features. We were lying at our meadow. I don't know why Edward wanted to come here all of a sudden after school. He waited for me by the entrance after the bell rang and just took me by the hand. At times when he did this, I knew something was bothering him, so I just wouldn't question it._

_Sometimes even, all he needed was quiet. I remember a few months ago, when some trouble ran by him at school, he asked me to meet him at the soccer field after class. All we did for the next hour was sit by the bleachers side by side, not talking or anything. It was enough for him, doing something like that. _

_This time, however,…this time felt a little different. _

"_I went to visit Dad at the hospital yesterday, I was passing by the emergency room. No one bothered to turn me away so I just walked around, looking at how the doctors handled some things."_

_I listened intently, and imitated his position, only resting my head on my arm. _

"_When I heard a sudden commotion, I watched as about six or seven doctors worked on this one guy whose heartbeat started slowing down. They were saying all these things, most of them sounded like they were at a panic. There was a girl next to them and…. she looked like she was about to lose it." His hand moved on top of mine, and I stared at it, caressing his fingers. "It sort of scared me to see doctors yell like that. Dad always told me how doctors have to stay calm, even at their worst." He sighed, pausing for about a minute. I just waited. _

"_About a minute later, his heart stopped beating altogether, and the girl beside him started screaming like mad. She… she was screaming his name." An uncomfortable look marred his features. I didn't like seeing him this way._

_I ran my thumb across his palm, trying to bring him even a little bit of comfort. "What was his name?"_

_He sighed deeply, looking at me for the first time since he started his story. "His name was Edward." _

_My entire body shivered. _

_Then he laughed suddenly, shaking his head as if he'd done something idiotic. "I don't even know why I'm making such a big deal about this. I mean, I don't know why it's bothering me so much. Sure we had the same name but… argh!" he scratched his head, messing up his hair even more. He was flat out laying on the grass now, his eyes closed and mouth forming a frown. "What the hell is wrong with me, Bells?" he sounded so defeated, it almost hurt me a little bit. I've only known that I had feelings for him a few months now, but knowing it so consciously in this situation made me want to…_

_Before I knew it, I had lay down on my stomach, resting my weight on my elbows, and caressing his bangs on his forehead with my fingers and ran them lovingly onto his tousled hair. My sight traced down to his lips all of a sudden. I wanted to…_

_I wanted to kiss him…_

_My face was so close on top of him, that when he exhaled, the air hitting my face brought me back down to civilization. Oh God!_

_I pulled my face farther away immediately before he had the chance to open his eyes again. Phew! Pull yourself together, Bella!_

_He sighed again, and it almost sounded… disappointed? _

_My hand moved from his hair down to rest on his chest. He surprised me covering my hand with his and holding it tight. It felt like my heart palpitated, and it definitely started beating faster. There were so many new things I had to get used to. Stupid feelings!_

_After a few moments of silence, I realized that I had yet to speak. I guess the after effects of almost kissing him haven't worn off yet. I can't believe I almost… urgh! What in the world would he think?_

"_Maybe…" he broke the silence._

_I looked back at him, startled. Have I been quiet too long?_

"_Maybe I'm just not… cut out to be a doctor."_

_His revelation shocked me. Of all the things to think about… _

"_If seeing one man die bothers me so much, I'll probably be the weakest doctor in history."_

_It frustrated me. This wasn't like him. _

_I slapped the side of his head, catching him by surprise. "Ow!" he looked at me in shock, rubbing the spot where I hit him. "What the hell was that for?"_

"_For being an idiot, that's why." I said seriously. _

"_Wha-?" _

"_if you get bothered by seeing a man die, that doesn't make you weak, Edward, that makes you human. I know that you've never seen someone die before. Of course this was going to bother you. And to top it off, you and this guy shared the same name. If I were in your position, I'd be bothered for weeks. You wouldn't be a good doctor if you didn't care." _

_He stared at me blankly. _

_I breathed in and out. "Remember all the things your dad taught you, Edward. A doctor saves lives, but even he can't save everyone. That's just how life is. Don't let one bump on the road scare you off. You're so much stronger than that." I broke my gaze from him. "I'm… I'm glad you talked to me about this because… when you do become a doctor someday, apart from saving lives, you will also lose lives, and I know that it will hurt you at times. By talking to other people… I know that it'll keep you more grounded, so… I'm glad you talked. Life is too short for regrets."_

"_Bella, I-…"_

"_And to answer your question earlier, I'd die along with you, okay!" Oh God! My face was probably beat red by now. "Not that you would if I did…" I whispered quietly after. _

_SMACK!_

"_Oww!" I stared at him, dumbfounded. He didn't look amused. "What the-,"_

"_Don't ever think that!" he yelled, catching me off guard. "If you die, I'd die with you too, you know!" his eyes were fierce, and my heart skipped a beat. I stared down at the grass, sadly. Another minute of uncomfortable silence passed, each of us waiting to break it._

_After another minute, I chose to break it. "I'm sorry," I whispered. _

_He sighed deeply. "Yeah… I'm… I'm sorry too." He replied. _

"_Don't be," I turned to look at him. He was sitting up now, so I rolled over on my back and sat beside him, our sides touching. I took his hand in mine. "I know I shouldn't have said that."_

_I heard him scoff. "Yeah you shouldn't have," he said, squeezing my fingers. _

"_Forgive me?" _

_He sighed, "I guess. I mean, you did give me the pep talk of the century and all." _

_I chuckled. "So… does this mean you're not giving up?"_

"_Of course I'm not. You were right. I can't help that I'm human anyway."_

_I nudged him to look at me. "I think you should talk to your Dad more about this. He should know how you're feeling about this. Besides, he's about to become Chief of Surgery. That's gotta mean he's the best, right?" _

_He smiled. "Yeah. You're right. Thanks for coming with me today, Bells."_

"_Like I had a choice," I teased. He just laughed. "Of course I don't regret going."_

_He breathed in the fresh air and sighed. "Aah, life is too short for regrets…" _

_A part of me shivered again. My thoughts went back to that one boy and girl that Edward witnessed yesterday. The girl screaming his name… what if that were me? What if I were screaming for his life? It felt like a knife pierced my heart at the thought. Life is too short for regrets… I stared at him as he looked out at the scenery. Everything is inevitable. I wouldn't know the last day I would live with him. It hurt me to my very core._

"_Edward…" I said, as if my mouth had a mind of its own._

_He turned his head toward me. "Yeah?"_

_Oh God, this is it… I'm really going to say it, aren't I? "Life is too short for regrets…" He cocked his head to the side. " I… I have to tell you something." _

"_Alright," he made it sound like a question. _

_I swallowed, feeling my heart beat wildly. "I…I…"_

"_You?" he looked at me strangely._

"_I…I," spit it out! My eyes closed and my hands fisted. "I like you, Edward!" _

_Crap! My heart may as well have jumped out of my chest. I opened my eyes slowly, extremely nervous for his response. I can't believe I said it! I can't believe I just said it! _

_When I caught sight of his face, I was… nonetheless… 'weirded out.' He was wearing his normal face. My heart sank to my stomach. What?_

_When he smiled and chuckled, I got even more confused. "Aww," he took my hand in both of his, "I like you more, Bells." _

_My eyes almost fell out of their sockets. What did this mean? Did he… did he even get it?_

"_Why do you look so surprised?" he said. _

_WHY? I just told him I liked him and he's asking WHY? My smile twitched. "Ed… you… you get what I'm saying right?"_

"_Yeah, you like me, and I like you more."_

"_No, Edward, I mean… I really 'like' you." _

_He nodded, smirking. I wanted to smack it off. "Alright then, if you 'really' like me, then I guess I 'really' like you more too! You can't beat me in this game, Bells."_

_What. An. Idiot. _

"_Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?" _

_I sighed in defeat, curling my legs up, and resting my elbow on my knees, my palm supporting my chin as I pouted. _

"_Alright, alright. I don't like you, I love you then! Now how 'bout that?" he sniggered, kissing the top of my head. "Oh, sorry about that hit on the head, by the way."_

_I rolled my eyes. He really didn't get it. _

_Boys…_

**PresentPresentPresent…**

**Edward's POV**

I expressed a great "Ooh!" as I recalled that day. I really thought it was a between friends sort of 'like' and 'love'. "I can't believe it."

Bella just looked at me, amused. "I remember thinking what an idiot you were that day."

I shook my head and pinched the bridge of my nose, laughing slightly. "I was an idiot, Bella. I can't believe I took it the wrong way!" I groaned. "You know what we could have been back then if only I was smart enough to realize what you were even saying? Idiot!" What a bloody idiot, I was.

She just shrugged. "I don't know. It probably would have been a very dramatic scene,… and a very dramatic high school with you."

I smiled, turning my head to stare at her. "Well, I still wouldn't change anything for the world." And I meant it. This past week had been nothing less than incredible. "Maybe… whatever happened before had to happen so… it would lead us here. Stronger than ever and, " I caressed her cheek, "and loving each other more than ever. I'm not saying that we won't have any bumps in the road ahead but with everything we've been through, I know we could overcome _anything _that comes our way."

Bella's eyes softened, staring back at me. She leaned down on me, her upper body on top of mine. Her hair formed a curtain around our faces, and I was surrounded by the sweet scent of her hair. I inhaled deeply and my eyes closed on their own accord. I felt her warm breath on my face as she spoke. "Hmm… when did you ever get to be such a romantic?"

I chuckled, my eyes still closed. "Hey, you're talking to your secret admirer remember?" She chuckled, and I imagined her bright smile in my head. I could feel that she was close, but I haven't felt her touch. It kept me anticipated. When I felt a finger brush my jaw line, I sighed in content. My senses felt something drape over us, and the brightness beneath my eyelids dimmed to a minimum. It took me a second to realize that Bella draped the duvet over our heads, isolating us both from the outside.

"Right, my secret admirer." Not a minute too soon, I felt the sweetest pair of lips hover lightly over mine, giving me the softest and most lingering kisses. My lips curved upwards as Bella continued to hover. The way she lingered her lips on top of mine felt exhilarating and calming at the same time. It felt like we were experimenting kisses, as if we were still twelve years old, trying to figure out the right way to kiss by starting slowly… carefully.

Without knowing, my hand slowly made way to rest on her back, slightly encouraging. She halted for one second, brushing my hair softly out of my forehead and resting her hand on the side of my head. She kissed me a little firmer this time, and I moved her slightly, so she could be resting most of her weight on top of me.

It was... indescribable being kissed like this. Like there was no rush, and that we had all the time in the world.

I took one of my hands under her shirt and tangled it in her long wavy locks, kissing her deeper again and only pausing to catch our breath. Her hands ghosted across my abdomen and I felt my shirt being hitched upwards. Breaking our kiss for a second, I threw my shirt over my head and placed it somewhere among the tangled sheets of Bella's bed, all still with my eyes closed. With Bella's shirt hitched up below her breasts, our bare stomachs touched. My hands still roamed her back, amazed at how smooth and flawless it felt under my fingertips. She was straddling my now, and I felt my erection pressing against her crotch. On top of that, I was getting more and more turned on by the second, but we kept it slow, savoring every second we had.

When I felt her tongue on my lips, I happily granted her access and sighed, finally tasting her sweet flavor. Our tongues danced across each others mouths, and I didn't even notice my head lifting from the pillow so I could kiss her deeper. My hands pressed against her bare back to hold her to me.

"Edward…," she whispered against my lips, breaking our kiss. I felt her breathing deeply, her rugged breath fanning over my face. "Edward," she whispered my name again, licking the roof of my mouth as she did so, "open your eyes."

I did as she told, and slowly opened my eyes to meet her gaze. Her face was flushed, and lips swollen from our kisses, but I can't think of anything more beautiful than her. Sure enough, as I expected, the duvet was draped over us like a tent. When she sat up slightly, I lay back confused. She just smiled, placing her hands on top of mine, which rested on her bare hips. When she suddenly lifted the hem of her shirt, I almost gasped.

Her shirt now rested among the sheets, and I was met with Bella's bare chest, and I couldn't help but… stare at her breasts. They were perfect. Not too big, and not too small; natural and round. Her nipples were standing erect, and God knows how much I want to put my mouth on them. My breathing grew heavier, and I was desperate for a form of release.

"Bella," my hands ghosted up her sides, feeling her shiver under my touch. As I reached the side of her bare breast, I sat upright, my eyes escaping her chest to meet her half-lidded gaze. Her hands rested on my shoulders and I caught her lips on mine. My hand enclosed around her breast, and she gasped against our kiss. A swift movement of her hips rubbed my erection causing me to hiss and suddenly press her body against me. We both moaned at the feeling of our bare torso's colliding.

Our kiss grew fervent until our arms were wrapped tightly around each other, but it wasn't enough. I pulled her underneath me and graced her neck with open-mouthed kisses, as she arched her neck and whimpered, giving me more access. My hips started grinding on her midsection, and hers on mine, anything to relieve the ache between us.

My lips started kissing lower until I felt the soft mound of flesh that was begging for my attention. I paused to look up at her, asking permission. She responded by taking my one hand and placing it on top of her left breast. I almost smiled.

I take that as a yes.

After placing several kisses on her chest, I daringly licked her right nipple, earning a delicious moan from above. Unable to wait any longer, I took one in my mouth, biting, sucking, and licking as my other hand busied itself squeezing and teasing her other breast rhythmically. "Edward…Oh god…," Bella gasped and moaned as I continued my ventures, and with all the sounds she was making, I wasn't about to stop anytime soon.

_God… her breasts…_

I, honestly would never get tired of this. I made sure to treat the other with equal fervor before coming back up to kiss her senselessly. "Did I ever tell you," I said between kisses, "you taste delicious."

"Mmm, really?" she moaned as I once again assaulted her neck, my hand still fondling with her breast.

"Mhm," I hummed, sucking hard at her collarbone, "absolutely scrumptious."

"Oh? Did you just give me a hickey, Edward Cullen?"

I stared at the red round-shaped mark now visible against her pale skin. "Maybe," I smirked, "just a little something to tell all the guys in town to bugger off because you're mine."

"Well, well… didn't know that there was actually a cave man inside of you, Ed." Her hands glided down my back, ending at the waistband of my sweats. Her fingers dancing along the hem almost drove me insane.

Leaning up slightly, I grabbed her hands and held them prisoner above her head. _Shit, she looks hott exposed like this._ "Forgive me in advance, love, but I believe that your boyfriend is a possessive bastard. To think of any man laying his hands on you just drives him mad."

"Hm…how mad?"

I nuzzled her temple, down to her neck, breathing her scent in. "Insanely mad."

Bella hummed in appreciation, turning her head to the side and outstretching her neck. "Well, you can tell my boyfriend that he has nothing to worry about."

"And why's that?"

"Because… he's the only man who's ever gonna get to eat me."

I bit her neck a little harder than usual, after hearing her words and she hissed against the pain. Forget the other guys, this woman alone will drive me insane.

I licked the spot I bit before returning to our kiss. "Can I take your word on that?" My hips grinded her center fervently.

"Oh, hell, yes!" she gasped, her eyes falling closed.

I chuckled, "then I'll be sure to deliver the message."

She glared at me a second later. "You're evil sometimes, you know that?"

"Bella, I'm an eighteen-year old virgin male who hasn't experienced any real intimate female contact up until a few days ago." I said as a matter of fact. "And now, the girl I've been so ridiculously in love with, since God knows how long is half-naked underneath me, looking incredible hott as hell. How in the world do you think I feel, and what in God's name do you think I want to do right now… more than anything else?" I said slowly, making sure she took in my every word. Looking into the spark in her eyes, I knew she understood fully what I wanted, and I'll be damned if she didn't want it too. It was written in every action, every word and every movement. But we both knew it wasn't time.

I allowed one of her hands to release from my grip above her head. She roused my hair, smiling, and rested her palm on my cheek. Her eyes spoke, saying that she wanted it too. "No wonder our friends think we already did it." She quirked.

I laughed, leaning down to kiss her. "Yeah, we must be leaking sexual tension by now."

"We could do other things besides… that, you know." Her hand glided down my side.

I traced my lips from her temple, to the portion beside her ear, "what are you suggesting?" She traced the hem of my sweats again until it trailed back up to the back of my neck.

"I don't know. Maybe we should just… go with our instincts." She sounded breathless.

"Don't you think that's a little more dangerous?" I shifted my groin to prove my point.

"Hm, you got a point there… but, maybe I can help you with something." And with that, her left leg curled around my hip, spinning us so I lay on my back.

"Whoa," I gasped in amusement. Damn, that was fast. She bit her bottom lip, looking nervous… and damn sexy. Her hands smoothed down my chest, and it wasn't until she undid the drawstrings of my sweats did I realize what was on her mind. "Bella," I stopped her hands, "you don't have to."

_Are you fuckin' insane?_ My subconscious yelled at me. _If Bella offers you a hand job, or an effin' blow job, You Take It!_

She smiled shyly at me, releasing one of her hands to caress my chest and support herself as she leaned down to kiss me. "I know, but I want to. Please let me." She whispered. And who the hell was I to turn it down? Our kisses didn't stop, my body shivered in excitement, feeling her hand slowly slip inside my sweats and softly grasp my erection. We both gasped into our kiss and I leaned up on my elbows to make her position more comfortable. Her hand slowly moved up and down and I had to contain myself from cumming right then and there.

_Holy fuck! That felt amazing!_

My breathing was ragged as we came up for air, and I cursed in exasperation. We leaned our foreheads against each other, and it seemed like her ragged breathing matched mine. "Edward, am I… doing it right?" she asked nervously.

I smiled to myself, gazing to her. My erection was getting painfully hard, but she was stroking me in a very soft and slow manner, as if she was afraid she would hurt me. I sat up slightly, using my palms to support my weight, and took my left hand to stroke her lovely face. "Let me help you." I shifted us quickly, so I was leaning against the headboard and placed one of my hands against the middle of her back. I used the other to guide her hand against my shaft, letting her squeeze it a little firmer, and let it spring out of my pants. I sighed at the feeling of letting it out.

Still with my hand on top of hers, I guided her slowly. Breaking our gaze, she looked down slowly, and I heard her gasp, her cheeks flushing more than I ever thought possible. She can look all she wants, I smiled smugly. Once I felt her get the hang of it, I released my hand, "there, you got it, baby." The sensation was dizzying that I had to lean my head back on the headboard and close my eyes. I could feel the sweat starting to form my face, as my breathing got more intense. As if she sensed my condition, her hand automatically stroked faster, bringing me to the edge of the cliff. When she stroked my balls with her other hand, I groaned, squeezing the sheets onto my fists, and felt the most intense release I've ever felt in my life. I spilled all over my sweats and a little onto Bella's stomach before I dropped onto the pillows, breathing like a mad man with the silliest grin on my face.

_Holy Shit_.

I heard a giggle above me and stared on Bella's loving face. I laughed with her before lifting the side of the duvet and grabbing a few tissues from the bedside table, wiping my cum from the smooth skin of her stomach, and throwing it on the waste bin beside her bed. She smiled, leaning above me, "was it… good?"

I rolled my eyes. _Was it good?_ "Sweet Jesus, Bella." I grabbed her face with my hands and gave her the most intense kiss, holding her naked chest firmly against mine and flipping us over so I was on top. When we broke our kiss, her breathing was ragged. "Bella, you just gave me the most intense orgasm I've ever had, and you are asking me if it was good?" I asked, bemused.

She gave an embarrassed chuckle, pulling my neck down for another kiss. "Okay, but excuse me for being a little nervous for doing that for the first time."

"Oh hell, Bella." I kissed her between words. "What you did (kiss) was the most (kiss) amazing (kiss) thing (kiss) ever." She moaned beneath me, as I trailed my lips down her neck. "Let me make it up to you."

She gasped, "Edward,"

"Please let me." I repeated her words earlier, coming back up to kiss her senseless. "I really want to," my hands coming down to the waistband of her pants. I was just about to pull it down, when I felt her hand on top of mine, stopping me.

"Edward," she whispered, and I looked down at her, blinking in confusion.

"You… don't want to?"

She shook her head quickly, "No, I mean I do, it's just that…I," she looked down, embarrassed.

I lifted her chin to face me, "what is it?"

"I've never… you know." My face wrinkled in confusion. "I've never had… I've never had…that-"

I blinked, suddenly knowing what she was trying to say. Ooh! She's never… "You never had an orgasm before." I stated, amused at the situation. No way!

She looked up shyly, nodding her head. "It's not that I didn't try, but… it just, never came."

"Hmm," I leaned on my elbow, assessing her. "How many times?"

She shrugged, "about once…twice, maybe?" she blushed. I stared at her in adoration. Well, it is much more difficult for a female to cum, rather than a male. Biology class started speaking to me.

I tucked her bangs behind her ear, and kissed her temple. "Can… I try doing it?" I started kissing down her face until I reached the valley between her breasts, feeling much bolder than before in my post-coital state. My hands caressed her nipples until they pebbled under my touch. Bella gasped as I reached her navel, peeking my tongue out and gave her a long delicious lick.

"Yes." She said breathlessly, and I climbed back up her body, working my tongue to further use inside her mouth, which she happily complied.

Continuing where I felt off, I pushed her pants aside, dragging her underwear with it until it reached her knees, her legs taking care to get rid of the rest of it. It took a moment for me to register that she was now entirely naked beneath me, and the thought caused my shaft to twitch in excitement.

...

**Bella's POV**

Something poking my thigh caught my attention, and I looked down in surprise to see his sweats pitching a tent. Wow, that was fast.

He kissed me in distraction, pushing his tongue against mine. I moaned, feeling myself melt under his gorgeous body. Oh God… I was fully naked under him now, my breathing didn't feel like my own, but I wanted to feel the rest of his skin. My fingers peeled down his sweats, and we gazed at each other, mentally speaking. Edward pushed the rest of his pants down, and it now joined mine at the foot of the bed. Our naked bodies collided, and we both gasped at the feeling of our bare skins touching, caressing. It was unlike anything I've ever felt before. "Edward…" my voice came out as a whimper.

"God, you're amazing, Bella." His nose nuzzled the side of my neck, breathing me in. My hands played with the contours of his back, before he shifted our position, spooning me from behind, my back now resting against his chest. One of his arms pinned underneath me raised one of my legs, keeping it locked in a bent position, exposing my center. I felt cool air hitting it, and a moan escaped my chest. I turned my head behind me to see him staring, and he gave me a quick kiss. His other free hand caressed my cheek, and then disappeared as I felt it moving down my body. "Just relax, baby." And with that, I felt a finger stroke my opening and I gasped in pleasure.

_Oh God, it didn't feel like that when I tried it before._ It was a lot more sensitive now.

I could feel myself soaking as continued to stroke up and down, his finger exploring my entrance and teasing my clit. My breath was coming out in gasps, and I felt an unknown knot getting tighter in my stomach. It wasn't until later that I felt his four fingers moving in circular motion, and I felt the knot getting tighter at a point that I almost felt a release. But when his fingers left, I whimpered in disappointment. But a new surprise caught me when I felt his finger slip inside of me, and my hips bucked at the unexpected intrusion. My hand reached behind me and placed itself on his unruly hair, I pulled him to my lips, our eyes open, gazing at each other.

"Edward, please…" I begged, feeling the knot tightening once again. I wanted it so bad. Two fingers slipped into me and I practically screamed in surprise. His thumb started circling my clit, and then I felt it. An explosion inside my body as I thrashed in his arms as he continued his ministrations. A second later, I felt it again, stronger this time, a silent scream escaping my lips. His fingers slipped out of my center, and my leg was finally released. I felt Edward's body move on top of mine, as he kissed me feverishly, as I lay wanton against the sheets, pondering over my first… and second orgasm, which felt incredibly unreal.

I sighed into the kiss. So that what all the fuss was about.

Once I regained some feeling on my arms, I wrapped it around his shoulders, holding him to me, my body arching just to get a firm feel of him. It felt wonderful having his hard, warm, and large body on top of mine. In a way, I felt protected and safe.

When our kiss broke, we lay heavily panting against each other, my legs on either side of his waist. And lord… I felt his erection pressing against my center, and it felt nothing short of incredible. He stared at me and, oh god, that look… love, adoration, lust, passion, wanting. I brushed his bangs out of his forehead, and he tucked mine behind me ear. "I want you. I want you so much, Bella." He whispered.

I nodded, understanding fully. "I know," I whispered back, breathing heavily underneath him. We both wanted it, badly, but we knew it wasn't time. We were both covered with a thin sheen of sweat, still hidden under the protection of my purple duvet. I smiled, taking his face in my hands and kissing him sweetly. "I love you, Edward Cullen."

He smiled back, "and I love you, Isabella Swan."

A few minutes later, after calming ourselves and… well, some body parts, we lifted the duvet off of our heads breathing in the lovely expanse of chilly air. It was snowing outside, and it surprised me that we were able to sweat under the blanket for an amount of time. I nuzzled into Edward's chest, feeling his chuckle as he kissed the top of my head, hugging me tightly into his arms. A smile still plastered on my face, high from our amazing… activities. I glanced at the clock briefly and noticed that I had about thirty minutes before I had to get ready to meet Alice and Rose. Wow… time flew that fast?

He stroked my back, "so you've never actually had an orgasm before?"

I blushed, pushing myself from his warm chest. "Urgh, I knew you were going to ask that."

"Can't help a boyfriend's curiosity, Bells." He smirked. Boyfriend? Don't you mean man's curiosity.

"Hey, it took a lot of courage for me to tell you that before you… you know… did it in the first place. I'm not sharing any more." I lay on my belly, and rested my weight on my elbows, looking at him. His hand still continued stroking my back, letting the blanket sink down a little lower. My hair was down either side of my face and formed a curtain in front of my breasts, so at least I wasn't flashing him. I still can't believe we're laying in bed fully naked, though. And my, my, my… does he look divine.

"Really?"

"Really. Besides, I want to ask 'you' a question."

"Now that's not fair. If you ask a question, then I have to ask one too."

I chuckled. "Fine. What's your question, oh master of fairness?"

"Okay then… when did you first try doing it?"

I stared at him, aghast, "that's extremely private!" His hand slipped under the blanket and on top of my butt cheeks. I stared behind on his hand and raised a brow at him, flushing slightly. "Ookay…you've made your point." He smirked, bringing his hand back up. I sighed, "if you must know, I just turned seventeen when I first tried it."

"Really?" He sounded amused.

"Really." I replied back.

"That late?"

I chucked. "It's different for a girl, Edward."

"So why do you think it didn't work?"

"I think it's my turn for questioning now." I replied, feeling my face heat up more. I wasn't exactly fond of that memory. "Where did you learn that position?" Hell, if he's asking private questions, why can't I? He cocked his head to the side. "Uhm, that position you put me in against your back." I clarified, blushing all the more.

He smirked, "getting even with me, huh?"

"Oh yes." I smirked back.

"If you really want to know… then the answer is just a really active imagination." He tapped his head. "And watching a video in Emmet's stack of porn." He added.

I laughed out loud, staring at him in disbelief. "Okay, I am done talking about these uncanny questions. Can we please change the subject?"

"Hey it worked didn't it?" His eyes twinkled like a little boy in a candy store, and I was pretty sure mine looked… a little bit the same. Before we knew it, thirty minutes had passed by, and I had to get ready for a little girl's day out.

But I didn't want to leave.

I stared at the clock for the umpteenth time, and sighed. "I have to start getting ready," I groaned, leaving the warm pillow that is his chest.

He seemed like he didn't want me to go either. His arms tightened their hold on me, pulling me back down with him. I squeaked in surprise. "Edward," I chuckled.

"Mm, don't go." He nuzzled my neck, knowing how it made me melt.

"Edward, I have to, or else the girls will kill me." It had the opposite effect. He pinned me underneath him, and continued his assault on my neck.

"Just stay in bed with me. Tell them you're not feeling well." Shit, he's using his sexy voice.

I hummed. "Edward, you were the one who told them- argh!" I gasped, as he bit the top of my breast. Oh no, I'm getting turned on again. "T-two- o'clock." I stuttered. Jesus, if we were any normal adolescent couple, we'd be shy and hesitant after our earlier stunt, but nooo!

"I just said that to get rid of them." He whispered along my jaw-line. Oh god…

I moaned under him, "urgh, I guess I could delay for a bit." Damn, I gave in.

He kissed me fervently. "Atta girl." He once again rested between my legs, and I felt his erection on my thigh. I sigh. I guess he's ready for round two. We continue rubbing our naked bodies against each other, our hands exploring, touching every bit of skin we could reach, our tongues battling with fervor.

His feel his hand run down my thigh, under my knees, as he hooked my right leg up his hip, and I feel his erection meet my center. We both moan through the kiss.

This feels just like our first night together, only this time, we were completely bare. He starts moving, thrusting his hips up and down, but never slipping inside of me. It brought me to heights I never knew existed. The feeling of pleasure slowly riding up my body.

I wrap both my legs around his waist, then he suddenly slides on my clit, hitting it with delicious accuracy. An embarrassing sound of pleasure escaped my lips. I felt the familiar knot tightening in my belly and I rapidly fell apart in seams, throwing my head back and arching my body, exposing my neck for his mouth to assault. I feel him cum on my stomach, as he stiffens above me, a masculine grunt escaping him, and then he fell, languid on top of my body. I embraced his weight, breathing heavily on the spot where his neck met his shoulder.

"Wow…" I whisper, still high from my orgasm.

"Yeah… wow," Edward agrees, placing a light kiss on my chest.

After regaining our right minds, Edward rolls off of me, and I frown at the loss of his comfortable weight. He cleans me again, and throw the tissues in the waste basket I have on the side. We sigh in content, laying on our sides, arms around each other, face to face, silly grins on our faces. His hands once again stroke my back in a loving manner. I guess he likes doing it. It also brought me to a certain calm.

I took my index finger, trailing it down his profile, much like I did in his sleep. He closes his eyes and takes it in, a peaceful look on his face. I was overwhelmed with the amount of love that I held for this man. How did I manage to get so lucky?

He smiles. "I love it when you do that." He takes a hold of my wrist, pulling it down to his lips, kissing my fingers. I melt. A bubble of joy radiating in my chest at the thought of him loving that action. "You used to do it a lot when we were younger. You never knew I was actually awake." A smirk graced his lips.

I blinked, surprised. It was true, "you knew?" I always used to do it, especially when we were kids. I remember all the happy thoughts I'd get when I'd see his profile with the sun in the background.

A handsome silhouette.

It always managed to take my breath away, now so more than ever. I loved trailing my finger down his profile when he was still asleep.

"Yeah," he sighed, entwining our fingers. "I knew you'd stop doing it once I started waking up, so I just faked sleep." His eyes glossed over. "It always…comforted me in a way." My younger self laughed. Guess I got caught.

I repeated the action again, this time giving his nose a little tap, earning me a boyish laugh. "I thought… I made sure… I mean, I thought for sure that you were asleep when I would do it." I felt a little embarrassed.

Then a frown marred his features. "Why did you stop doing it?" My smile faded, knowing exactly what he was talking about. Guess he noticed that too. I shifted my head on the pillow to press my forehead against his, kissing him on the lips lightly, hoping it would cheer him up a bit.

I sighed and began to explain. "On the day I realized that I actually…loved you, I tried doing it after I slept in your room that night, but at that time… it felt different. Usually it'd make me really happy, but on that morning, it felt a little too intimate… like I was invading your personal space. I guess you could say that I felt guilty. I knew that I could never be involved with you, and that I could never be allowed to feel that way so… I encouraged myself to stop." I sighed. "It was hard. Sometimes I'd catch myself midway, then I'd pull away instantly, like I was about to do something forbidden."

"I think I remember that morning. I was awake when you did it, then when I opened my eyes, you had this look on your face. Like you were in pain." His brow formed a v down center. I rubbed it with my thumb, not wanting to cause him sadness like I am now.

I nodded, smirking slightly at the thought of him being awake to witness that.

Edward removed his hand from my back and placed it on my temple. I closed my eyes, reveling in his touch. "Why did you feel that way?"

"What way?"

"That you could never be allowed to love me?" A twinge of hurt laced with his voice, and I cursed myself for making him feel like this.

I covered the hand on my cheek with mine. "I had so many reasons back then. One of them was because I couldn't jeopardize our friendship, it was just too important to me. I knew you would never feel the same way about me." I said sadly. "And a part of me always said that you deserved someone better."

I still think I do, sometimes.

"Bella," he caressed my cheek with his thumb, "look at me." I did as he asked, staring at his hard, determined and loving eyes. "There will only be _you_. Ever since I was born, it was you, and it will be like that for the rest of our lives." He took my one hand in his, placing it on his chest. My heart fluttered after hearing his words. "Promise me something."

I nodded. "Anything…"

"Promise me that you will never ever doubt yourself in our relationship. That no matter what happens, good or bad, we will stick together, not even hell can break us apart. That… that you'll love me forever." The tears suddenly threatened to fall from my eyes as I gazed at his. So many emotions running through us at once, it was dizzying. He leaned forward, kissing tears that have already escaped. "and I'll make the same promise as well."

_Oh Edward…_

I urged him to release the hand that was on his grip, and wrapped myself around him. Our legs curled together as Edward did the same. We shared a kiss that was full of promise… everything for the sake of our bond… the love we have. "I promise." I whispered into the kiss. He stared at me with so much love and adoration, I almost gasped.

"I promise too." He sealed it with another kiss.

He shifted himself, about to move on top of me until… the door slammed open.

"BELLA! It's two o'clock! What the- oh my!" Alice stopped on her tracks, amusement playing in her eyes.

"Oh my god!" I shrieked underneath Edward, and I felt him cover the duvet over our shoulders, making sure that nothing of him… or me was seen. My face went beat red, and I covered them with my hands, leaning on Edward's shoulder, hoping to hide.

This is just horrific!

Edward kept his hand under my head, agreeing to keep me hidden on his shoulder. "Alice! For the LOVE of GOD, KNOCK!" he yelled. I could tell he was embarrassed as well.

I heard Alice clap her hands, sounds of excitement emanating from her. "I knew it! All you guys needed was a little private time!"

More footsteps…

A masculine voice. "Hey, what's all the yelling abou- oh jiminy cricket!" I peeked from Edward's shoulder and regretted it at once. Emmet!

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE! GET OUT, GET OUT!"

Emmet guffawed. "Guess Jasper owes me back my money and a little extra!" He high-fived Alice, who seemed to look like a little girl in a candy store now.

"Emmet! Alice! GET! OUT!" I finally yelled. God did bless us with such perverted friends!

"Alright! Alright! Hold your horses, hope you guys had a good time though!" Emmet winked, walking backwards to the door with Alice.

"GET OUT!" Edward and I echoed. After one last… nasty… comment, they closed the door, leaving Edward and I to wallow in misery.

"Why are we always disturbed?" he mumbled.

I shrugged. "Maybe because we forgot to keep the door locked."

He humphed, leaning up on his elbows to look at me. "Think we should tell them?"

That we didn't have sex? I smirked. "I think it's better this way, don't you think?"

Cocking his head to the side, he smiled widely. Probably surprised that I'd just go with it.

…

**Edward's POV**

Almost four hours later, I still had a silly grin on my face. People who saw me walking by probably thought I was high on drugs or something. But no… just high from Bella.

"Damn, you look like a love-struck fool don't you? Wipe that smile off your face would you. You're creeping me out." Emmet grasped the edges of my mouth, trying to turn down my smile, but it went back up instantly. "Gaah!" he threw his hands in the air. "Jasper, help me out will you? Or else I'll start buying a shirt that says I'm not with stupid."

"I think I'd rather you buy that shirt, Em."

Jasper, Emmet and I decided to follow the girls to Port Angeles after completely giving up on doing nothing back at home. We didn't call them. Just wanted it to be a surprise. We knew they were in the movie theatre. Bella texted me. They were watching some chick-flick vampire movie. I chuckled to myself. Bella hates chick-flicks. I knew she wouldn't enjoy that.

"For fuck's sake, he's even laughing out of the blue. I'm buying that shirt right now!"

I grabbed the back of Emmet's shirt, pulling him back. "Alright, Em, give it a rest."

Beep!

Jasper flipped his phone, smiling. "According to Alice, they just finished the movie, and they're on their way to La Bella to eat."

"That's just a few blocks away. Come on, let's move." My cell beeped a second later.

E

movie sucked. literally.  
on our way to have dinner.  
wish I stayed in bed with you  
love

B

I smiled like a love-struck fool that I was. We've been texting each other non-stop since she left. Cheesy, I know. I pressed reply.

B

you'll see me soon enough.  
looking forward to another  
bed time with you.  
love u more

E

A few minutes later, we made it to the restaurant. Emmet spotted the girls first, sprinting towards Rose, startling her. They laughed like children. "What are you guys doing here?"

Jasper and I crossed the booth and he made his way beside Alice but… my girl was missing. I frowned, scanning the restaurant. "Well well well, shall we make a toast to Edward and Bella? Our newly deflowered virgins?" Rose chuckled, raising a coke. The rest of the table laughed with her.

I gave a wild grimace. "God, no! You know how weird that sounds, and keep it down, Rose." I think the table on our right heard us. I just gave them a curt nod. "Uh, where's Bella?"

"She stopped by Ye Olde Bookstore across the street. She'll be back in a few, sit down, Edward." Alice replied, snuggling into Jasper.

"Nah, I think I'll go get her." Too excited to see her to sit down.

"Okay."

I walked out of the restaurant and half way down the street to reach the pedestrian, but as I walked forward, I already noticed little figure to my right across the street. A girl in a blue coat, completely immersed in her book. I laughed. So typical.

_There she is. _

I smiled. "Bella!" I called out, waving my arm in the air. She immediately lifted her head up, turning to meet me. I noticed her mouth open in surprise before smiling back.

"Edward!" she chuckled, placing her book in her bag and running across the pedestrian to meet me. I stood, directly across, waiting for her so I could lift her in my arms. God, I missed her.

A flash of white to my right.

The sound of a large engine.

My smile melted, noticing the large pick up moving at full speed.

Bella gasped, freezing down the road.

My heart stopped.

A raw voice escaped.

"BELLA! NOOOO!"

* * *

**Oh hell, I left you at a cliffy... silly me! (Bwahahaha!)**

**You know what that means :D Review so I could get more inspired! :D Teehee! Yeap, blackmail, alright! **

**Oh right... HAPPY HALLOWEEN everyone! :D I'm dressing as a hippie, and my friends and I will act all high in the Santa Monica parade! LOL.**

**Who are you gonna be this Halloween?**

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	19. Closet Demons

**Alright folks, just so you know, this is HALF of chapter 19! I was actually supposed to write more, but Exams are here and I'm gonna be extremely busy for the next few weeks, so I won't be able to find time to write as much, but please know that I am doing my best... even though it's been months since my last update. Haha. I really hope you all understand, and I really really hope that you're still out there for me :)**

**Read A/N below!**

**This chapter is UNEDITED.**

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**CHAPTER 19: CLOSET DEMONS (Part 1)  
**

**Edward's POV**

The rain started pouring, melting the snow and turning the ground to ice.

I was driving back home in full speed; ignoring my surroundings and only focusing on the internal anger I had boiling inside me. My fists gripped the wheel at a point that my knuckles were growing numb. The only thing that seemed to pass through my eyes were the red and white car lights in front and in the sidelines. Ironic that I could just stare at them, when it nearly caused me a heart attack a few moments ago.

"Edward."

I ignored her voice, still driving, determined to get us back, fast. I didn't know how long we've been on the road. I didn't even know if we were almost close to Forks. My body was just on autopilot, and I was burning with mixed emotions.

"Please… slow down. You're scaring me." I paid little attention to how her voice was pleading and shaking. I just wanted to get back to the house. I didn't want to talk. I didn't even want to think. There was an unbearable ache in my body, and I had no idea how to make it disappear. It only made me tense.

A hand covered one of mine on the wheel, but it had no effect to calm me down. "Edward, talk to me. You haven't said a word since-,"

Red Light.

I sharply hit the breaks and the tires skidded across the pavement.

There was a scream. "Shut! Up! Bella!" My heart thundered in my chest, relieved to have let out some of my rage. My eyes still rested on the wheel in front of me, unable to turn and look at her, which was something I knew I should have done. My heart was beating so furiously that I felt the vibrations wave throughout my entire body. My face was scrunched up as if I was in pain, and my breathing was that of a mad man's.

"Just… just shut up," my voice was ragged, eyes down on my lap. "You… froze. You froze in the middle of the road." The memory just hurt. "You didn't even look at the pedestrian light. You weren't supposed to cross the street, and you just…," I tightened my grip on the wheel.

What unbelievable luck! Since she just woke up from a coma, you'd think she'd have the right sense to be careful. It was dumb luck that that truck stopped at the last second. How terribly appropriate. Hasn't the girl suffered enough?

Sheer luck. Sheer dumb luck.

"Why on earth aren't you more careful? Do you have a fucking death wish?" _Do you want me to go through _that_ again_? I almost said. Just the thought of what might have happened back there made my soul tremble and sink in pain. It was like there was a ball turning inside my stomach, and all it wanted to do was explode. Why the hell does it hurt so much?

_Because it was practically your fault, that's why._

I gasped, eyes widening in conclusion.

Yes, it was because of me. It was almost my fault this time. She wouldn't have almost been hit if it weren't for me. She wouldn't have crossed the street right away if I wasn't there on the other side. The scene kept replaying in my head. Bella. The light. The car. The past five months…

I wanted to fucking throw up! Why the hell did this have to happen? I breathed through my mouth, pinching the bridge of my nose, hoping to make the pain subside. It didn't.

"I-I…I'm sorry, Edward. I don't know what came over me. You have to understand-," she sounded desperate.

"Well, _I don't_ understand, Bella! You just came out from a five-month coma. _Five goddamned months!_ You'd think that it'd teach you a little lesson about the road-,"

"Please listen, I was-,"

"Or to make it more simple, you'd think it'd teach you how to read a pedestrian sign. How hard is it to look before you go? Shall I make it simpler for you? Write it on a piece of paper?"

"Stop it, Edward." She clutched the passenger seat with her fingertips. I didn't listen.

"What if that truck hadn't stopped at the last second? Where do you think you would be now? I already told you how much I suffered back then. All I'm asking is that you won't let me experience it again!"

Her head snapped to me, angry, unshed tears in her eyes. "You make it sound like I did it on purpose. You know I would never hurt you, Edward! It was an accident."

"That's not what I'm saying," I said, frustrated, "I'm just asking you to be more careful! You ran in the middle of the bloody road on a red signal!"

"Oh, well, I'm sorry I was too excited to see you. Come on, you didn't even notice it either." She argued back.

"So what?" I spat.

"So… I need you to stop treating me like I don't know left from right. I'm not a child who needs to be watched at every corner."

Green Light.

The cars started moving slowly. "When have I ever treated you like a child?"

Bella groaned, "you've been treating me like a crystal vase for the past two weeks, Edward. It was as if you were afraid I would break at the moment you looked away."

I grimaced. "With good reason!"

"Edward! I can take care of myself."

I couldn't believe it. The anger just started growing. I only wanted to… protect her.

I shook my head.

"I'm sorry I wanted to take care of you then." I said with a sarcastic tone. I didn't want to admit it, but I got scared every time I wasn't with her. "Maybe I should just leave you alone, and perhaps by tomorrow, you'll get stuck under the snow storm and die of hypothermia!"

Bella groaned. "Why are you angry at me? Stop saying those things!"

"It's only because you have the most unbelievable luck in the world! Maybe I should start calling you the danger magnet! It's got a nice ring to it, don't you think?" The rain started pouring harder.

"Edward, please stop. You're starting to hurt my feelings…"

"GOOD! At least you know a little taste of how Ifelt when you were practically dead! All '_you'_ had to do was sleep through time, while _I _had to suffer every single day in complete misery! I might as well have preferred being in a coma too!" I yelled. Bella stared at me, shock and pain fleeting through her eyes.

_What was I saying?_

It took a moment for me to register that the car in front of us had come to a complete halt. I hit the breaks harshly, the sound of cars beeping all around at the usual traffic down the bridge. I caught a glimpse of her from a sideways glance, but only saw her hair casting a curtain around her face. Her breathing was as ragged as mine. My mind was scribbling for answers. Why did I say those words?

Bella leaned towards the window, resting her head on the glass, and I still couldn't see her reflection.

"Please, I…" she sighed, "I don't want to argue anymore. Please, just get me home."

I stared at her, the feeling of guilt replacing the pain on my chest. It was one of the worst things in the world, seeing her like this, and it hurt even more knowing that I was the cause.

The rest was silence after that. My body went on autopilot again. There was so much we could have talked about during the drive, if we did, everything probably would have been okay. But our words remained unspoken.

By the time we reached the front of her house, the rain was a mere shadow of what transpired earlier. The light patter of the raindrops on my windshield was the only sound filling the void between us. The silence was deafening, but neither of us seemed to make a move.

"I-I…I'm sorry." Her voice choked, hardly a whisper, but I heard it.

_I know you are._ I wanted to reply back, but the anger still wouldn't let me, and it was also too stubborn to say it back. I should have apologized too.

For all I knew, minutes could had passed before I heard the sound the passenger door closing. It was then that I looked to my right. She was already walking outside in the rain.

_I didn't even notice…_

Moreover without even thinking, I had grabbed the umbrella from the compartment and dashed out of my car, towards _her_. She went to a complete halt when I hovered the umbrella over us both. I was behind her, still unable to see her face. Droplets of rain falling from her hair and coat.

_I don't want her to get wet…_

She gripped her coat tighter to her chest and started walking. I followed quietly behind. She was shaking from the cold. I wanted to wrap my arm around her, but stopped midway when I realized that I was about to do just that. It felt so natural. But now, it felt like I was intruding.

Pain struck.

How did it come to this?

By the time we reached the front door, the umbrella was no longer needed, but I never brought it down. It was still above us. For me, it felt like the only thing binding me to her right now. The sound of keys fumbling made me nervous, even though I already _knew_ that we wouldn't be together tonight. The door went slightly ajar, but she made no move to go inside.

Realization hit me again. _I won't be with her tonight._

_Fear _struck.

I've been with her every single night since she woke up. How would it feel to wake up on a completely empty bed, without her presence, without her warmth or her arms wrapped around me? I've never once left her side for more than a few hours. How could I survive a night like this?

I grimaced, my fists tensing up.

It terrified me.

When she moved, my hand instantly caught her wrist, startling her, and even me. I heard her gasp as she turned her head slightly, looking at our hands. I swallowed, scared and nervous at the same time. I wanted to say I was sorry, for saying those foolish things and for acting like such a jerk, but words still failed me.

How could such a perfect day turn into something… like this?

I hurt Bella. I made her cry.

I promised myself I would never…

Her lips frowned. "Goodnight… Edward." She whispered, using her other hand to give mine a soft squeeze. My grip loosened on her, and she suddenly held it between her hands. I was so busy looking down in despair that I failed to register Bella touching my face and bringing me down onto her soft, sweet lips. Despite the shock, my eyes closed to their own accord, relishing her sweet kiss as I inhaled, trying to deepen it. She broke away a moment too soon and entered her house before I could get a single word out.

The door closed, and I was left standing in the rain. I pressed my palm against the door and leaned my forehead against it, hoping in the most hopeless way that I could just pass through walls and tell Bella how sorry I was. I didn't know why I couldn't just say it.

My feet felt like they were made of iron as I walked to my car, the umbrella forgotten by my side. The short drive home was painful, a sharp tug at my chest as if the other end was connected to Bella. I stared back down the drive when I got out the car. All me senses were telling me to go back.

I didn't announce that I was home. My mother would ask without a doubt where Bella was, and I didn't want to tell her about our fight.

Was that what it was? A fight?

I sunk down my mattress in despair with no Bella by my side, wondering what possessed me to say those hurtful things. I tossed and turned, feeling like… I've forgotten something important.

I buried my head on the pillow Bella usually slept on, and fell into a restless sleep.

* * *

**Bella's POV**

I closed the door quickly and leaned on it, taking a deep shuddering breath, one after the other.

_Edward._

I covered my mouth with my hands, preventing myself from crying, afraid that he might hear it.

The tears fell freely, and after a few short breathes, my body started to shiver more and more, until it took over me uncontrollably. What the hell is going on? Air was suddenly scarce, no matter how many times I took a deep breath. I couldn't move. My feet were frozen.

I stayed like that until I heard the sound of a car engine starting and driving away. I gasped.

_Oh no. Edward, no please… don't leave me…_

I panicked, gripping my jacket to my chest, and holding on to the doorknob for support. I was shaking…badly. Is this because of earlier? Has the accident finally caught up with me? I felt my head swimming from the shortness of breath.

"Oh God…," I whimpered, feeling even more helpless. _Edward… come back._

Fear gripped my senses as I remembered everything. The truck, the sound of alarm, the bright headlights… Oh god, the lights…

I sunk down to the floor, gasping for air. My chest felt like it was going to explode. I gripped my head and closed my eyes, trying to rid myself of the images. "Go away…," I whimpered.

The cars. The bright lights. Edward's driving. The crash. The pain…

A strangled cry escaped me. "Go away!" The sound of loud car horns thundered my eardrums all of a sudden, and I buried my head on my knees, sobbing like a child. My hands gripped my hair, trying to ease my throbbing head.

The sound of car horns, skid marks, broken glass…

"Stop. Please stop…" I pleaded, curling up into a ball.

"Edward…," I uttered his name, like a silent prayer. I wanted to curl up in his arms. I wanted him to tell me that everything would be all right. I couldn't do this without him. "Make the pain stop…"

The vision of a car suddenly came back at me, full speed. A loud sound, and bright flashing lights. I stared at it helplessly, my heart thundering to oblivion.

A heartbeat away, I screamed into the night.

Then everything stopped.

The sounds, the lights, the pain… everything, but the fear was still there. It felt like the car really hit me. My whole body was aching. I heard my own haggard breathing as I felt something cold and uncomfortable on my forehead. I opened my eyes slowly, only to be met with surrounding darkness. I felt around with my hands, and felt the same cold object. The spinning started to stop, and I realized I was lying on the cold, tile floor. A whimper escaped me as I brought myself to an upright sitting position with slight difficulty.

It felt like I ran a mile. I welcomed the cool air and started to breath normally, leaning my head against the door behind me. I placed my hands on my chest, trying to soothe the ache. I stared at my surroundings, all dark and dreary. The rain was still falling outside, sounded like it got stronger again. My face was stained with tears, and my vision was blurry.

_What just happened?_

I didn't know how long I sat there, but after gaining some composure, I willed myself up and headed to my room. My bed felt like a sanctuary with a missing piece. "Edward…," I whispered.

I know he's still hurting, and probably still mad. But I needed him.

Reaching for my bag, I snapped up my phone and began to call. It answered right away.

"Hey,"

I felt instant relief at his voice. "Thank God, Edward I-,"

"It's Edward, you know what to do. _BEEP_."

I sighed. Voice mail… figures. I never felt more alone that I did now. I stared at my phone, staring at his name across the screen. How could such a perfect day turn into something like this?

With a slight cry, I buried my face in my pillow feeling more alone and scared than ever.

"Edward…,"

* * *

**Edward's POV**

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

I sighed, rubbing my face with my hand, wishing I had shut the curtains last night. The sun was annoying.

_No sleep, huh? Well, you deserved it._

My eyes closed. "Couldn't agree more," I groaned.

"Edward, dear, are you there?" My mom's voice echoed through the door. I stared at it, not in the mood to talk.

"Mom, I'm still asleep." I answered back, a hint of annoyance lacing my tone.

"Sweetie, it's noon, and you have a visitor waiting for you."

… Did she say _noon_?

I bolted upright and stared at the clock.

11:54 AM

_Holy shit…_

I could have sworn I didn't get a wink of sleep. "You sure you're all right, dear?" I stared at the door.

"Uh…," wait, a visitor? I bolted out of bed, feeling my bones crack at the stress of lying down for too long.

Could it be? I swung back the door, staring at the face of my shocked mother. She immediately looked down at me in disapproval. "Edward Anthony, did you sleep in that?" I glanced down, noticing that I still had my clothes on from last night… shoes and all. A tiny familiar giggle sounded on my left, and I knew exactly whom it belonged to.

"Morning, Edward!" As bright as rainbows after a rainstorm, of course it's Alice. I tried not to show disappointment on my face, but failed miserably.

…

"You okay, Eddie?"

I sighed heavily and plopped back down my bed onto my stomach, still feeling extremely troubled at what happened last night. What the hell did I do? Even better question… What the hell do I do now? She's mad… I know she is. How in the world would a person forgive the words and actions I committed last night?

She sighed. "I take that as a no." I felt the bed sink slightly with her weight.

"Where's Jasper?" Aren't they always together nowadays?

"Visiting his grandparents with the family. I got my own relatives here, so I couldn't tag along," she groaned. "Really, it's frustrating."

"I know why you're here, Alice, so why don't you just get on with it?" I said monotonously.

I heard her whistle. "So things are worse than I thought. What exactly happened when you left with Bella last night?"

I stretched my neck behind to glance at her. "You mean… Bella didn't tell you?" She must've gone to her first, right?

She shrugged. "No… she didn't look like she wanted to talk. She's out with Rosalie and Emmet right now, but I made an excuse to hang back so I could see how you're doing. Glad to see you in the same state, by the way," she smiled… albeit a little sarcastically.

Blinking, I made a move to sit up on my knees. "Is Bella okay?"

"Emotionally drained like you," she replied immediately. I groaned, rubbing my face frustratingly and leaned back on the headboard. "You gonna tell me what happened?" With a deep sigh, I looked down regrettably and gave Alice the long version. It sounded even worse now that I was telling somebody else. I knew Bella wasn't at fault but… I couldn't help but feel hurt in some way. It confused me to a point that I wanted to surgically split my brain open to get information on why I was feeling like this.

I don't know for how long I was talking, but when I finished, I braced myself for hard blows that little Alice could hit me with.

"I said horrible things, Alice, I know! But Bella…," I gripped my hair, "she wasn't careful and, I don't know, I just snapped and I couldn't stop."

Surely she would see that Bella wasn't at fault. Every rational person would think that.

"Oh." She stood, grabbing my computer chair and sitting down, her face showing anything but anger.

"Oh?" I asked, confused. "That's all you have to say?"

She shrugged again, "what? You want me to call you a dick?"

I sat up more, "you're… not angry? I told Bella words like that last night and all you can say is 'oh?'" Now I was getting a little frustrated. "Where's the lashing out? Don't I deserve it?"

Alice cocked her head to the side, giving me a small smile. "I just understand you, Edward." Her answer took me by surprise. "More than any of us, you've went through the worst during Bella's accident. Everyone saw that." She glanced away, probably recalling the time.

I swallowed, looking down at the fisted hands on my lap instead of Alice. I never wanted to revisit those months again. "She doesn't want me to protect her." I muttered.

"Hm?"

"Bella, she… she doesn't want to depend on others because she assumes she can do everything by herself but… she's still too weak. She can't do all the things she normally does. Sometimes, even when I just watch her walking, I'm afraid she's going to trip or just collapse from all the strain." I frowned at my last words, thinking to myself.

Maybe I did treat her like a child.

"Edward, Bella's not weak." Alice put it simply, wheeling the chair closer to the bed. "Sure she hasn't regained her full strength, but you don't have to treat her like she's made of glass."

I winced at her words.

Alice chuckled. "You know how Bella is. She's stubborn, independent, and she has a certain level of pride. She's not really used to having other people take care of her because she's been taking care of herself for a long time. You of all people should know that."

Failed again, as a friend. It's true. For as long as I can remember, Bella has been taking care of herself. Renee was a clumsy mom, and Bella's take on her was more of a friend than a parent. Charlie was horrible at cooking, so she took in most of the household chores ever since Renee left Forks. She never wanted to depend that much on her family for money so she started looking for jobs when she was only sixteen. I always saw Bella was the epitome of a responsible child. However despite that, I always tried taking care of her, spoiling her to no end no matter how much she didn't like it.

"But, I know how you feel, you know," Alice's tone suddenly sounded sad. "After almost losing her like that, you can't help but get worried and paranoid because you want to make sure that she doesn't fall into the same position again. It's the most difficult thing… losing someone so important to you that it hurts to even just think about it."

I looked as Alice took one of my fisted hands in hers. "I know you told her what you went through back then, but I don't think you told her the full extent."

I turned away. "I already told her as much. She doesn't need to know everything else."

* * *

**Bella's POV**

"Bella, I know Edward told you what he went through, but it's different having to hear about it than having to witness it right in front of you."

I stared from my glass of water back up to Rosalie and Emmet with unshed tears in my eyes. It seems I cried out most of them already last night. We were back in Port Angeles, having a late lunch as it seems. They wanted to take me away from the bad night I had. We'd been sitting and talking for quite a while now, and as time passed, my heart just seemed to get heavier and heavier. Sighing, I wringed my fingers in my hair. "It was that bad?"

"Scary kind of bad, Bells. Edward wasn't himself at all. The first couple of months was the worst," said Emmet, "I mean, he went through a whole lot of blows. He almost lost his scholarship, he had a row with a few of his friends in school, he wouldn't talk much, eat or sleep. And to top it off, he even tore apart his fucking room."

I blinked in surprise. "What? What do you mean tore apart his room?" Tore his room? His room, which was newly remodeled? Seriously he couldn't mean…

Emmet grimaced, crossing his arms and turning away. Rose just sighed at him and looked at me sadly. "Why do you think his room was remodeled?" I stared at her, shaken to my very core. "It was around the second week of your comatose. Carlisle was able to force him to see you after the incident. Guess he wasn't able to take it in anymore."

Edward… tore apart his room. Hearing it was hard to believe. I just couldn't imagine, Edward, dark and quiet, flunking his grades, causing so much damage. It just wasn't him. I couldn't even imagine Edward without a smile on his face. My Edward. I could never imagine him as someone like that because when I do, everything starts to hurt.

I felt the tears prickle my eyes. Rose's grip on my hand tightened. Not again. Not the tears again. I've cried so much last night. "But still… how he handled things last night-,"

"Try to put yourself in his position, Bells." Emmet retorted, causing me to snap my head up. He had on a very serious expression, like he's trying to convince me of something. It's not a look I see on Emmet everyday. "I know what Edward did was wrong, I'm not saying it wasn't immature because it's something worth punching the hell out of him with,"

"Emmet!" Rose scolded.

"Rosie, I'm not going to punch him for real."

She sighed back in her seat, squeezing my hand for a moment before excusing herself to go to the restroom. She gave Emmet a squeeze on his shoulder as if it were a reflex before walking away. His face softened for moment, then turned back to me. It made me miss Edward all the more.

"Bells," Emmet called me out of my reverie, "I know you can take care of yourself. You're the most independent person I know, but… it's okay to let other people take care of you sometimes, especially now, after what you went through."

"Thank you, Em. But other people have it worse. Coma's can last up to years. My five months doesn't really compare."

"That doesn't matter and that's not the point, Bella," he said sternly. "We didn't know how long you would be under. It's not exactly something we could predict. To everyone, you were almost dead."

_At least you know a little taste of how I felt when you were practically dead!_

Edward's voice rang in my ears as I stared at Emmet, aghast, my heart beating out of my chest.

"The point is, you _almost died_, and it scared the life out of everyone, especially Edward. You didn't see him, Bella. We kept a close watch on the guy because we thought he would do something stupid. Just living without you was so unnatural for him, and his regret for not telling you how he felt was eating him up. He broke down more than once, and it wasn't easy trying to get him back to his senses. But when you came back… it brought so much relief to everyone. Edward returned to normal, and now that you know how each other feel, a whole different world opened up for the both of you, and Edward is determined to keep it. He's unconsciously even more overprotective because you're more than a friend to him now, and because he's scared. It's only been two weeks since you woke up, and you're recovering in your pace, but Edward hasn't recovered from the trauma of losing you. So… when that happened last night, it fucking terrified him, hell not just him, it terrified me, Rosie, Jasper and Alice."

I looked down quickly, staring at my hands, wringing the table cloth. None of this is their fault… I've just been too… difficult. "I'm sorry, Emmet."

"Bells, you don't need do apologize. None of this is anyone's fault. You and Edward, we just want you guys to talk."

Edward. "Edward… was scared…,"

"He still is, Bella." He said sadly. "I'm just saying that if…," he looked down all of a sudden, a sorrowful look passing his face, "if I were in Edward's position, and Rosie was the one recovering from a coma, I'd work like hell to make sure she'd never have to experience something that grave again." His words were so sincere and true, it almost broke my heart.

I tried to remember Edward's disposition when I woke up from the hospital. The look on his face. There was so much disbelief and… terror, like I'd just come back from the dead or something. But from a five month absence, I guess I wouldn't blame him, however, I know other people have it much worse.

Yesterday, Edward, the look on his face, the tone of his voice, his actions, everything, scared me. But, I don't think it was because of his anger… it was because of the fear. He was terrified as much as I was in a way. Knowing him for so long, I've always known how he handled situations. To cover his sadness, he'd put on a fake smile that I'd be able to read like an open book. To cover his nervousness, he'd laugh like a loon and mess up his hair. To cover up his frustration, he'd take a deep breath and pinch the bridge of his nose. And instead of showing pain or fear… he'd turn it into anger instead.

My body bucked forward as my chest tightened even more. Why did I realize this just now?

"Oh God," I whimpered, covering my face in my hands.

I felt Emmet's arm around me a moment later, and I leaned in to him for support.

* * *

**Edward's POV**

"Oh well, are you done moping now? Can we go?" Alice stood, straightening her skirt.

I looked at her quizzically. "Go where?" I don't remember us planning something. It's been over a couple of hours since Alice arrived.

She rolled her eyes. "To Bella, idiot. She's in Port Angeles, and we better leave right now. Bring your coat. Weather says it might rain and the sky's getting darker by the minute."

I shifted in my seat at the head of the bed, suddenly feeling nervous and uncomfortable. "Uhm, Alice."

"What?" She dug into her bag, searching for car keys.

I looked down. "I think it's better if I wait here."

Alice scoffed, "come on, are you really going to wait here like some sad little duck or are you going to get up and do something about what you did wrong yesterday? Be a man, Edward. You have the be the first one to apologize."

"Wha- Why?"

"Because you made the latest fault." She crossed her arms.

"It was practically made at the same time. She's still so stubborn, she doesn't want me to take care of her or admit to her mistakes." I argued.

She groaned, sitting back down on my desk chair. "You know 'your' stubbornness is starting to remind me of Bella."

I sighed, hitting my head on the headboard again.

"Come on, Edward, you practically scared her yesterday. The Edward I know would never have left her alone last night."

My brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Alice looked at me, cynical. "I mean what I mean, you scared her yesterday."

"I know I scared her because I was angry, but this isn't the first time we've been angry at each other. We've been together practically our whole lives, Alice." I said as a matter of fact.

Alice looked a bit taken a back. "Edward… last night it was pitch black and raining like hell. You told me you drove like a madman while arguing with Bella. 'Bella,' a girl who just woke up from a five month coma because of a traumatizing car accident, and you're telling me this isn't the first time it's happened?"

A feeling of dread dropped to my stomach. "But, Bella didn't look scared." It sounded like a question, like I was trying to convince myself of it.

"Are you just realizing this now?" her voice rose a pitch. "Edward," Alice exasperated, "you already know this. Bella isn't the type of person to show weakness if she knew it could trouble others. Try to remember what she looked like yesterday in the car. I'm sure she must've been scared. I'm surprised she didn't go mental or scream or something. It's only been a week and a half…"

I felt sick to my stomach at Alice's words. Did I really scare her like that yesterday? I tried to remember, but as much as possible, I remembered not wanting to look at her.

"She must've asked you to slow down or something."

With that I realized, she did ask me to slow down. She did. More than once, but I ignored her.

"_Edward. Please… slow down, you're scaring me."_

My head started to hurt. That's right. She did say that. She was trying to explain something, but I wouldn't listen. All I could focus on was the road, and how fast I wanted to get us back home. I was too fast yesterday and it was raining. My heart was beating out of my chest, and it started to hurt.

Then I remembered snippets. Bella's voice was quivering. Her hand was gripping the door handle so hard, her knuckles looked deathly white. And when I hit the breaks, she screamed.

She screamed. Bella screamed.

"Edward," Alice called. I stared at her, my face ashen and terrified. "Are you all right?"

"Bella screamed last night," I said plainly.

"What?"

"Bella screamed. I didn't know she was that scared…," I moved from the bed, swinging my legs off the edge. "Holy shit!" I gripped my hair, feeling like the stupidest man in the planet. "I didn't know she was scared because of the car. I didn't know… I- I didn't mean…," I stood, feeling my bones crack from all the stress of lying down for too long. I shouldn't have been ignoring the matter in the first place. I had to get to Bella. Grabbing my jacket and my phone, I was out the door in mere seconds.

I had to apologize.

"Edward, wait!" Alice called.

I turned back to her as she made her way down the stairs. I was feeling more impatient than ever. "Alice, I'm sorry… but I have to do this alone. I have to apologize." I didn't know that this was all my fault.

Her hands went to her hips as she stared at me sternly. "I know, dumbass. Glad you've finally come to your senses," she held up her car keys, "but I am driving us there."

I blinked. "Can't we just take my car?"

She sighed. "When you go back home, I doubt that Bella would appreciate your driving after what happened yesterday."

My heart sank as I solemnly dropped my keys back onto the table. She was right.

Alice smiled. "Don't give me that gloomy look, Edward." She grabbed my hand and started pulling me toward the door. Where does this pixie get all this energy? "Now, come on! Bella's waiting."

Bella's waiting.

I didn't know why, but for some reason it felt like I hadn't seen her in a while. We've always been together, not just all these years, but especially this past week.

I'll see her again. I'll apologize.

And I'm hoping that she could only forgive me.

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**Okay... that's around 6200 words done. Shorter than my usual routine, but I guess this works for the better since I update really slow. Haha!  
Next Chapter? Hmm... I can't really estimate since it's going to be really busy for me soon. But here's what I promise... this story will be done THIS YEAR! LOL. We are coming near the end of the WUML, and it's just about time! Good news is that I'm gonna be writing some random outtakes of it though! AND I also have a new story on the way. It's the revised/ remake of The Heart of a Musician, but the title will now be IRRESISTABLE. The first chapter will come out on the same day of the last chapter of WUML. Hope you read it!**

**Alright, readers! I bid you goodnight! I'm in the middle of eating a really good slice of cake so be very jealous of me! **

**Love, Ocean!**

**P.S. If you failed to read my AN up above, here's the deal. This chapter is only HALF of chapter 19! I just decided to update this right away 'cause I've kept ya'll waiting for so long and imma be really busy for the weeks to come. 3 **


	20. Promise This

**Oh HELL! Has it been THAT LONG since my LAST update! I AM SO SORRY! I shall not delay you any longer!**

**WARNING: UN-EDITED Chapter! Pardon the grammatical errors and typo's.**

* * *

**CHAPTER 20: PROMISE THIS**

**Edward's POV**

Alice and I had been in the road for more than thirty minutes, clouds getting darker and the cold getting more apparent. While sitting in that lonesome passenger's seat, I felt that time couldn't be any more slower. A part of me wanted to be by Bella's side as soon as possible, but another part was also nervous and afraid of what she might think of me now. How could I have been such an idiot last night?

I scared her. My Bella. And I made her cry. Something I swore I would never do again.

Sulking in my seat, I stared at the sky as raindrops started to break out of the clouds.

"Yup, Rose, we're on our way. We'll be there in about an hour"

I looked at Alice, seeing that she was on the phone with one hand, while the other was on the steering wheel. I sighed. Sometimes, she can be much worse than me.

"Are you sure? Where will you guys be?... Okay!" Even though she was talking on her cell while driving, I wanted her to ask Rosalie how Bella was doing. Was she still mad? Was she sad?

"See you then." She snapped her phone shut and tossed it inside her open bag.

"You shouldn't talk on the phone while driving, Alice." I pointed out, staring out the window once again.

Alice groaned. "Yeah, I know. It's a habit I'm trying to break. Jasper's planning to get me one of those Bluetooth- car speaker thingies too." I snickered.

"He's worried too, eh?"

"Yup," she replied, emphasizing the 'p' sound.

"Did I ever congratulate you guys on being together?" I smiled. I knew Jasper started to like her in Junior High, but I never knew how Alice felt. Bella told me a long time ago that Alice was the type of person who opened her heart to new opportunities and friends, but when it came to the subject of love, she closes up like a frightened turtle hiding in its shell.

She laughed and shook her head. "No, no you didn't."

"Well, congratulations then."

"Thanks." She blushed.

I took a breath. "You know, I always felt like you knew of Jasper's intentions in high school. Did you, or didn't you?"

Alice swallowed nervously. "Uhm, I… did know."

That surprised me. "Then… why didn't you do anything?" I faced her. Alice of all people I knew would always jump at any optimistic opportunity. So why didn't she approach this?

She sighed, and smiled. "Well, in high school… you know how most people thought of me." I blinked at her. "I was the… odd girl who dressed like it was a themed prom day everyday."

I chuckled, thinking back. "True." I nodded. "But what did that have to do with anything? We like that about you. You make life interesting everyday."

Alice rolled her eyes. "Gee, thanks."

I laughed. "Kidding, but true." Alice smiled.

"Well… other people… especially the girls in school would always look at me like I didn't belong. And when I started hanging out with you guys, their looks just started to get worse. It didn't bother me one bit because… I was just being me," she shrugged, "but…"

"But what?"

"Jasper was… one of the most popular guys in school. I knew he liked me back then, and I knew that I liked him a lot too but, when I started to think about what other people might say if they saw us together as a couple, I got scared."

"About what other people would think? But you just said you didn't care." My forehead creased, confused.

"I didn't care about what they thought of me, but I was worried for Jasper's sake. What would people think if they saw the popular boy with the oddball of the school? I knew his reputation would get tainted… so I didn't do anything. " I sat there, starting to see Alice in a new light. I never knew this was how she felt. She was always the most optimistic in our circle of friends, yet on the inside, she was fighting storms and hauling her own self back up. "But now, ever since we got together, we've been talking a lot, and we realized that some things are just worth the risk and, we can make it through tougher tides if we stick together." She smiled, looking at me. "When I asked him what he would have done if I told him of my feelings back in high school, he… didn't really give me a definite answer." She chuckled.

"What did he say?"

She shrugged. "He just kissed me and said that I should have 'fucking' done it." We both laughed. Jasper was always the silent type person. I guess I couldn't imagine him doing something that forward.

"Well," I grabbed one of Alice's hands and held it in mine. "I for one am glad that you guys are finally together, and… I hope you last forever." I teased her. She chuckled and knocked me in the head.

"Stop teasing, but uhm, ditto to you and Bella as well."

I smiled. "Yeah," I replied.

"You know, Edward," Alice looked at me with a brow raised, "it was sort of the same for Bella as well. She didn't want to tell you her feelings because of what other people would think."

I recalled Bella and mine's conversation last week. "Yeah, she told me a bit about it. But I still couldn't believe how she would think it. I mean, she's much more amazing that any other girl in that high school." I exasperated. Alice gave me the look. "I hate how things like that made her insecure about us."

"Well, I guess that's just how a girl's mind works. Remember that one time she cut her hair on the spot with a pair of desk scissors back in the beginning of high school?" Alice laughed.

My forehead creased. "I remember, but what did that have to do with anything?"

Alice stared at me, puzzled. "You mean she didn't tell you _why_ she really cut her hair?"

…

…

**Bella's POV**

"_Hey Isabella," a girl's voice called out._

_I turned in my seat, a little irritated. "It's Bella." I found Laureen Johnson behind me, a group of three other girls in our class surrounding her. Typical gossip groups. "Yes?" I asked. _

"_Jeez, no need to be antsy." She scoffed. I wasn't antsy. "We just wanted to ask you about Edward Cullen."_

_Edward? "Uh, what do you want to know?" I replied politely, feeling slightly uncomfortable. _

"_You're close with him right? I mean, you always sit with him and stuff." Another girl said, bouncing her leg up and down. _

"_Yeah, I see you making him carry your bag all the time, carry your lunch tray and stay beside you in class and stuff." Laureen agreed. Jeez, these girls make me sound like I'm clingy or something. Edward is just a gentleman. That's why he always does those kinds of things. _

"_Uhm, I don't make Edward do anything. He just does those things because we're friends." BEST friends, I wanted to clarify. _

"_Yeah, but it's not like you're his best friend or anything. I mean… that other guy Emmett McCarty is his best friend right?" One other girl said. I wanted to snap at her. We ARE best friends. _

"_I know he's so cute! He just made the football team, did you hear?"_

"_Oh my God, are you serious?"_

_When it sounded like they were talking to themselves again, I tried to turn away and return to my book._

"_Oh hey, Isabella!" I sighed. Wow, apparently, they're not done. I turned back, summoning up the best fake smile I could._

"_Since you know him and all, can you confirm this rumor for me?" Laureen grinned. Rumor? My forehead creased._

"_What rumor?"_

_Some girls chuckled. "We heard that Edward likes brown eyed girls with really long hair. Is it true?"_

_I almost blushed. Who in the world spread that rumor? "Where did you guys hear that?" I rubbed my fingers nervously._

"_Nancy Thompson. She asked him what kind of girls he liked and he said that. We just want to know if it's true. I mean… she could have been lying and stuff. So is it true?"_

"_U-uhm," I stammered, playing with the ends of my… long brown hair. Urgh! Get your mind out of there, Bella. You're thinking the impossible. "He- he never told me anything like that so, I'm not really sure."_

_All of them scoffed. Yes. All of them. "Well, nevermind."_

_I turned back to my desk and practically sunk in my seat. Damn that Edward! Why did I have to get stuck with such a best friend anyway? His girl-fans are making me restless. _

"_Forget it. What good is she anyway?" I heard them whispering behind me. Pursing my lips, I tried getting back to the book I was reading before me. Don't listen to them, Bella. Don't listen to them. _

"_They're probably not even that close. I heard it was just their parents anyway."_

"_But still, it makes me so jealous. She gets to spend so much time with him."_

"_Yeah, but it's not as if they're anything official. They're just acquaintances or something." Acquaintances, my butt!_

"_You know what, I heard from Chelsea James that he turned her down in the class dance last year because 'she' already asked him to the dance, and he couldn't say no." My eyes went wide. _

_Edward, that IDIOT!_

"_What? Did she force him or something?" By 'she,' I was assuming they were talking to me. Last year? I asked him to the dance because he was practically begging me to ask him. I knew him better than anyone, and I knew when he was sending me begging signals. I'd give in to them, but he'd tease me relentlessly after. _

"_That's what I was thinking. She probably didn't have anyone else to go with."_

"_What a bitch." I closed my eyes, trying to compose myself. Don't listen to them, Bella. I tried to keep the tears at bay while breathing through my mouth. No matter what I do, however, their words still stung me deep. _

"_Well, let's at least ask Edward's phone number from her. Might as well get something from the girl."_

_My jaw was set and I took a deep breath._

"_Isabella!"_

_It's Bella!_

_I turned around slowly then smiled determinedly. "Yes?"_

"_Do you at least have Edward's cell number?"_

"_Hmm," I pretended to think for a moment. "Yes, I believe I do. Why?" I cocked my head to the side._

"_Would you be a dear and give it to us? I mean, we'd really appreciate it." Laureen nodded to her friends and they smiled excitedly in agreement._

_I smiled in return, showing my teeth. "I'd love to girls, but… I'm afraid I can't." Their smile faded, and Laureen looked at me grimly._

"_And why not?" she emphasized each word._

"_You see…, it's called 'being a friend.'" I prompted, dropping my smile. "Why would I go and give an 'acquaintance's' number to a bunch of flirty girls he doesn't even know? He'll be bothered by stalky phone calls and secret text messages in the middle of the night."_

_Laureen narrowed her eyes at me as she slowly stood from her seat. "You better watch that mouth, Swan." I think I was now aware of the students in class looking at us. "It's just a cellphone number. He's popular, handsome and single. Surely he must be looking for someone out there, don't you think, freak?"_

"_Oh believe me," I chuckled, "Edward would rather choose the class hamster than go out with you."_

_A few people gasped, and a couple of others laughed. If looks could kill, Lauren's eyes would be shooting daggers at me right now, but I didn't care one bit. After that, she straightened up and started to grin. I narrowed my eyes at her. "I know what this is about." She shifted her weight to one leg. "You like Edward, don't you?" My heart pounded slightly, and I tried so hard to keep my face nonchalant. Don't let it get to you, Bella. "I can't believe I never noticed it before. He doesn't look the least bit interested in you, but still, you cling to him like some lovesick puppy. You're lucky you have brown eyes, but you grew your hair that long so you'd at least catch a little bit of his attention. Am I right, Isabella?" She smiled slyly. I wanted to smack it off her make up infested face. "But uhm, we can all see that that's never going to happen. Aww, poor dear." She chuckled, her lackeys following her gesture behind her. _

"_Admit it, Swan. To Edward, you're nothing but a bother."_

_I gripped the backrest of my chair and glanced at the long length of my hair. It was almost past my waist now. _

_The Bella I knew a few months ago would run away from all this… but not now. I thought back to Edward's words on the day I realized I had strong feelings for him._

…

"If you tried pushing me away this past week, then let me just tell you now that it won't and never will work. Only you and I know how much we mean to each other… and… you mean more to me than you think. You know that we cannot do without each other, Bella. You're my bestest friend. Whatever you do or whatever happens, I won't ever leave you…"

…

_I looked back into her gaze, determined. _

_I slammed my book down on my desk, turned around and sprinted to the front of the classroom. I know I saw a pair of scissors here somewhere. Everyone was whispering around us. Probably wondering what I was going to do next. I smirked. Well, they're about to see something pretty good. _

_I spotted the pair of scissors in one of the desk drawers and held it in position on my right hand. I heard a gasp. With my left hand, I held the entire width of my brown hair and gripped it tightly. Not another moment later, I took a deep breath and hacked it all off. _

"_Oh my God!"_

"_Whoa!"_

"_Holy shit!"_

"_I can't believe she did that."_

_Everything felt so light and unfamiliar, but I was filled with the feeling of accomplishment. I stared at my long, now disconnected hair in my left hand and almost smiled. I turned back to Laureen, her mouth agape, staring at me with an unbelievable expression. I smiled sweetly at her. "Is this better for you, Laureen?" _

_To my surprise, a round of applause filled the classroom and I looked around, shocked at all the attention. My blush came back profusely and I almost hunched back. Laureen was just standing there and I could tell from her face that she was extremely annoyed. I stared at my hair once again, wondering what to do next. _

_I just smiled amidst the cheers of the crowd and made my way to my locker. I snatched up a brown paper bag and tossed my hair into it and ran for the restroom. After soaking my face under cold water, I stared at myself in the mirror for a few seconds. My hair was extremely uneven it almost made me laugh. _

_What was I supposed to tell Edward? We came to school together with my hair hanging down my waist, and now it was above my shoulders in disarray. But… I was proud of myself for standing up for once. I never let myself stand up against those kinds of girls._

_After taking several deep breaths, I decided to text Alice, asking her to come into the second floor girl's room for an emergency. I was thankful for the free period today. It took another moment for me to realize that I actually took the brown paper bag with my hair with me. _

_Walking back to my locker, I kept on unconsciously touching my hair. My senses probably asking me where everything went all of a sudden._

"_Bella!" A voice I knew all too well called. My body froze. Oh no…I winced._

_I turned, and sure enough, it was Edward, his mouth agape. "Hey Ed." I smiled. "What are you doing here?"_

"_I went to your classroom, but you weren't there." He walked toward me. "Uh, Bells, I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure that when we left this morning, your hair was twenty inches longer."_

_I chuckled, touching the tips of my hair again. "Oh, you weren't." I know I promised I'd tell him whenever things like this happened, but I didn't want Edward to bear any grudges to anyone else in school. "I got some uh,… gum."_

"_Gum?" He stood before me, reached out his arms and touched my hair._

"_Yeah!" Wow, very original, Bella. "Gum! I got gum in my hair earlier and… it was really hard to get off and it started getting tangled everywhere so..."_

"_You cut everything off?" He answered, amused. _

"_I know. Everyone thought I was crazy. So don't bother asking them."_

_He started to laugh. "You crazy little girl. You cut off twenty inches of your hair just because of a piece of gum?" He held his stomach, trying to contain his amusement. "Oh," he pretended to wipe a tear, "I'm going to remember this for a while."_

"_Hey, I was thinking of cutting it sooner or later and you know that I've always wanted to donate my hair. Well then, here's twenty inches of it." I held up the brown paper bag._

_He stared at it. "It's all in there?"_

"_Minus the gum, yeah." I lied. It felt bad making up stories like this to him. But… I didn't want Edward to make any more enemies because of me. "Does it look alright?" I asked, shyly. "I mean, just the length. Alice will fix it up for me in a little bit. Right now it looks ridiculous." I said immediately after. _

"_Bella, you could be bald for all I care, but you'll still look amazing." He looked as if in a trance, touching the length of my wavy locks. I blinked up at him. Did he just say what I think he did?_

_I think his eyes widened for a bit before letting go of my hair. "I mean… yeah. You… uhm… you'll still look great."_

_My heart warmed. "Thanks, Edward." _

_I felt him grip my shoulders. "Hey," I looked up at him, his face slightly perturbed, "you okay?"_

"_Yeah," I nodded, "why?"_

_He shrugged. "You just seem a little…,"_

"_A little what?"_

"_I don't know… a little shaken up or something." I sighed. He knows me a little too well._

"_I am?" I pretended obliviousness. "Well, I'm fine… you worry too much." _

_He cocked his head to the side. "I do?"_

"_Yeah," I replied, nodding and hugging him around his center immediately after. I buried my face in his shirt and breathed deeply. I felt his surprise and smiled. I guess I was a little shaken up._

"_Hmm, yeah, I guess I do, huh?" He replied, wrapping his arms around me a second later. I hugged him tighter and melted into his embrace, loving the source of comfort that he always left me. _

_I hear him laugh a moment later as he ruffles up my short hair to an even bigger mess. "It's just hair, you know. It'll grow back."_

_I sighed in his chest, smiling. "I know."_

"_And besides, I think you look cute."_

_My cheeks heated up. "Idiot."_

…

**Present…**

**Bella's POV**

There was something eerie and peculiar about the darkness of the clouds today. It was obviously going to rain. Everyone in the State of Washington can sense when the weather takes a turn, but there was something in the pit of my stomach. Maybe I had forgotten something?

"You girls wait here. I'll go get the car."

Snow and Rain. I stared above the clouds.

"Damn, we better be careful. Rain is about to come. We're going to have a lot of black ice." I heard Rosalie talk next to me. I broke out of my trance.

"What-? Oh yeah. That's true." We walked down the steps of the restaurant, Rosalie's hand gripping my left one.

"Are you alright, Bella?"

I turned to her. "Huh?"

"You're staring into space." She smiled sadly. "You know everything's going to be alright, right? If Edward doesn't apologize for what he did and acts like a jerk, you know we'll beat him to a pulp." She gave me her snarky expression. Typical Rose. I smiled in return. "Oh, you're not cold are you? We can wait back inside the restaurant."

I shook my head. "I feel fine. Don't worry about me."

_Ring! Ring!_

Rose released her grip on my hand and reached for her cell inside her purse. She stared at the screen then smiled at me. "It's Alice." She flipped it open. "Hey Shortcake!" She walked slightly ahead of me, and I pulled myself a little behind. "What… really, as in right now?"

A flash caught my vision on the right and my heart momentarily jumped… and not in a good way. Rose's back was to me as she talked to Alice on the phone. Another flash of light caught my peripheral vision and my body reflexively bucked. I gasped and placed a hand over my running heart.

What's going on?

My heart was racing and my head was starting to feel hazy. It didn't take me a second later to realize what the flashes of light were. The streets were full of them, heading left and right.

Headlights.

Car lights. There were too many of them. It began to hurt my eyes, and the sounds were getting louder, as if my senses were going to overdrive. I whimpered, placing my hands over my ears and squeezing my eyes shut.

I remember this feeling, this fear and panic trying to overwhelm me.

"Stop it…"

The sounds were getting louder, and my head was getting pounded. Why is this happening to me? I was getting scared, anticipating something bad about to happen. My breathing was getting labored, and I felt myself drop to me knees. Someone was calling my name.

"Stop it." I buried my fingers in my hair and pulled at the strands. It hurts! Something pulled at my arms but I was too afraid to open my eyes.

"-eellaaa- ap –t –of –iit-" A sharp pain crossed my cheek and everything suddenly stopped. My hearing went clear and I heard someone's voice. "Bella! Bella? Are you okay? Hey!"

I opened my eyes slowly and met the tearful eyes of my friend, Rose. "R-Rose?" My cheek was stinging in slight pain. I realized that Rose must have hit me.

"Jesus, Bella, are you okay!" she asked, panicked, gripping my arms. I stared at her for a few seconds then nodded. "Oh God… I thought… I thought something was…,"extreme concern and sadness etched her face, and it was unusual to see it in Rosalie's face. She held my face in her hands. "What happened, Bella? You… you looked like you were in pain."

Pain.

A light caught my peripheral vision, and when I turned my head, a full blast of headlights hit me straight on! The sounds came back and grew louder by each millisecond. There was a pain in my chest and I suddenly forgot to breathe.

"Bella!"

It was just like that night. All I remembered were the lights and the sounds, and the added voice of my good friend screaming my name before my world faded to black.

…

…

**Edward's POV**

We were already entering the streets of Port Angeles when the rain started to pour. I was thankful for spiked wheels during these types of occasions. Washington really is a dangerous place to live in during the winter.

"Where did they say they were?" I asked Alice.

"The Coffee Bean down 2nd Street, if I heard Rosalie correct-"

Ring. Ring.

It was Alice's cell. I caught her trying to reach for it in her bag, but I stopped her halfway and grabbed it instead. "Let me take it, you concentrate on driving."

She sighed. "Jeez, who are you, Jasper?"

I looked at the screen blinking Rosalie's name. "It's Rose, " I informed Alice and flipped it open.

"_ALICE!"_

I brought the phone away from my ear on impulse. "Wow, tone it down, Rosalie. It's Edward, Alice is driving."

"_Edward? Is that you?"_ Her voice sounded panicked, causing me to be on edge.

"Yeah. It's me. Rose, what's wrong?" Sensing the tone of my voice, Alice and I looked at each other.

"_Oh my God… Edward, Bella. Something happened to Bella."_ My eyes widened.

Hearing her words, my heart stopped and I felt a stab in the middle of my chest. Memories of the past night floated inside my head. Bella's face scared and hurt, and her scream inside my own car. I gripped the phone in my hands like a lifeline. "Rose. What happened?" I said firmly.

"Edward, what's happening?" I didn't even notice Alice parking on the side and going on hazard.

"_We don't know! I turned my back for one second and then she suddenly looked like she was in pain… she snapped out of it for a second, but then she collapsed and I panicked like mad and… and… oh my God. Emmett!"_

I heard some voices in the background. No. Please no. Not Bella. Not again. "Rosalie! What. Is. Happening? Where are you! Where is Bella?"

Where is my Bella? What happened to my Bella? My breathing was getting strained my the second. Where. Is. My. Bella.

"_Em… Emmett. We're in Port Angeles Community Hospital. We just arrived, and… Emmett just carried her in."_

I told Alice where we should go and she sped off in a heartbeat. "Rose. Rosalie. Listen to me. Is she okay? Was she breathing?"

"_I… I don't know. She still hasn't woken up…"_

"Rose! Was she breathing!" I almost yelled, unable to control my emotions. I need to know that she's alive!

"_Yes! Bella's breathing. She… she was breathing."_

"Tell me everything. What happened?" I pulled the phone off my ear and put it on speaker so Alice and I could hear.

"_I told you. I turned my back for a second when I talked to Alice on the phone earlier and when I found Bella… she was… on her knees on the sidewalk. She looked like she was in pain, I mean, she was gripping her head, her eyes were closed and she kept saying things to 'stop'. I hit her and she got back into focus for a moment, but a few seconds later, she just had this… panicked look on her face and then collapsed. I don't know what happened. Emmett and I just rushed her in the nearest hospital and… they're looking at her right now."_

My intellect was calculating a panic attack… but from what? "Do you know what caused it?"

"_No… no, I don't know."_

"What was around her?"

"_I don't know! We were at the sidewalk. Snow, trees, the people…"_

"Try to remember, Rose. Was there anything she was focused on before she collapsed."

"_Uhm,"_

"Edward," Alice called my name. I stared at her blankly. "She's alright." Alice was trying to convince me, a serious look on her face. I gripped the door handle as hard as I could, hoping that Alice was right, but my mind was thinking for the worst.

"_I- I really don't know, Edward."_

"Rosie," Alice spoke for me, "we're on our way there. Call us on any update."

"_Okay."_ She hung up.

What happened? Everything was fine. Yesterday, she was fine.

"Edward!"

I jumped at Alice's voice, but didn't turn to look.

"Bella's okay. Don't worry about it, alright. She's fine." Her voice sounded so sincere, but nothing was calming me down. I thought of my father and pulled out my cell.

"I'm calling my Dad." Wait. I stared at the phone screen. It's dead?

Shit. I pressed my forehead. I forgot to charge it last night. Last night. What if Bella tried to call me back then? I gripped the phone in my hands, frustrated with myself. "Damn it."

"What?" She noted the blank screen of my cell. "Your phone's dead? Go on and use mine."

"It must have been dead since last night." I spoke my thoughts out loud. "What if she tried to call me?"

…

…

**Bella's POV**

The first thing I noticed when I started to regain consciousness was the heavy weight in my head. "Mmm," I groaned, trying to get some sanity into my brain. I think I heard voices, faint echoes and I was trying to make out their words.

Wake…here…call…stay…thank…

Just then, something cool and comfortable touched my face and held me so gently, I didn't want it to leave. "-on, love. Wake up." His voice… I knew that voice. I've known it forever. "Please, open your eyes." He was begging me, and his tone was worried and painful. I was suddenly reminded of that one day, the day I woke up to Edward's tired and haggard face staring at me in disbelief.

I know it's you. His hands caressed my face and I felt his cool lips against my cheek. He must have been worried. Edward… you're here.

"Yes, baby, I'm here… can you open your eyes for me? Please," his lips left my cheek, then I felt them caress both my eyelids. Why was it so hard for me to wake up? My body felt like dead weight.

I must have spoken out loud. It took a moment for me to settle my head, then I opened my eyes as slow as possible. I expected to squint against the light, but I didn't meet the white walls of a hospital as I expected, but I found Edward's emerald green eyes staring back at me. They were pained, frightened, and trying to stay composed. It almost hurt to look.

This… this was because of me. At that moment, I understood fully what Emmett and Rosalie were trying to tell me.

"Hey."

"Bella," he brushed the hair out of my forehead, not breaking his gaze, "Thank God." Without thinking, my hand reached up and touched his face, my fingers tracing up to his temple. He immediately gripped my hand in one of his and squeezed it tight, yesterday's events forgotten.

"Bella!" I turned my head to the other side. I found the worried faces of my friends, Rosalie and Emmett. Rosalie looked like she'd been crying. I remembered fainting in her arms.

I gave them a weak smile as Rosalie held my other hand. "Hey guys, sorry for fainting on you." They both smiled. "How long was I out?"

"'Bout three hours. You had us really worried there, Bells," said Emmett. Rose nodded in agreement.

"Thank God, you're okay. You scared me to death." Rose sat on the edge.

Edward sighed and settled his face on the side my head, pressing my temple against his. I felt him releasing most of the tension inside his body. I used the hand he was holding, untangled it gently and knotted my fingers through his hair, calming him like I'd done so many times before. I frowned, knowing I had failed again and worried him.

Alice entered the room, a woman with a lab coat in tow. She hugged me quickly, telling me she'd been so worried. Edward released me momentarily, but still kept his hold on my hand, unable to let go. The doctor asked me a few questions, asking how I felt, how I came to be unconscious, and several other mandatory things, as well as checking my pulse, eye reflex and heartbeat.

"Did you have a hard time breathing when it happened?"

I nodded, recalling the pain in my chest. "yeah, I did."

"Was this the first time it's happened?"

Edward stiffened next to me, and I didn't know what to answer. Yesterday, I felt the same fear but… I didn't lose consciousness. "Uhm… it's the first time I fainted, yes."

She checked something in her chart. "Well, it's safe to conclude that you suffered from a panic attack, and you say you were in a car accident, and suffered a five month comatose?"

"She just woke up about two weeks ago." Edward answered for me, knowing that I was tired of answering the same question over and over again.

Dr. Cleary nodded. "Alright Bella, from your story, I believe you're suffering from photophobia. It's a fear of certain flashes of light. It's quite common for car accident victims. It's also usually just a phase. However, I do recommend you go see your doctor within the next few days, preferably tomorrow."

Edward and I looked at each other. "Her doctor's my Dad."

"I'll see him tomorrow."

"Alright. Well, your vitals seem fine, Isabella. You're good to go tonight, as long as you don't drive."

"We'll take them home," Emmett said.

"Perfect. If you can give me your father's name and office number, I can forward him Ms. Swan's chart." She gestured to Edward. He nodded immediately and squeezed my hand thoroughly before letting go and following the doctor out the door. I didn't like the feeling of not having him near, and there was still so much I wanted to say to him.

"Are you tired, Bells?" Alice asked me, sitting astride, a small smile on her face.

Normally in this kind of situation, I'd say that I was fine, but… I think I needed to be more honest now. I returned her smile weakly. "A little bit."

There was a gleam of surprise in Alice's eyes as she chuckled, replying, "Well then, we'll just have to take extra care of you."

Ten minutes later, a release form was signed and I was free to go. Emmett and Rosalie went straight to get the car as Edward and Alice stayed behind.

Edward took my hand as I swung my legs out of bed. "Lean on me, alright?"

I raised my eyebrows at him amusedly. "Don't I always, Edward?" He gazed at me for a second, and I was secretly hoped that he would get the apology I was trying to convey with my eyes. He might have understood slightly since he gave me a soft smile. It was the first smile I've seen him give today, and it comforted me. However, I was still able to sense his sadness. I was silently wondering how I could make this right.

...

...

**Edward's POV**

The car ride was silent as we rode at the back of Emmett's truck.

Bella was curled up on my lap, her body resting against mine. I stared at her sleeping face on the side of my chest, brushing her hair away from her temple. She looked so tired and weak, it hurt just to look. When I arrived at the hospital, I was at a panic, but when Emmett came to me and said that everything was alright, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from me and I was able to breathe again.

When I saw her body lying against the hospital bed, I was reminded of all the times I had to see her that way. And when I held her, I was afraid she wouldn't wake up again.

Bella moved against my chest, sighing softly. I held her tighter in my arms and pressed my lips on her forehead. I knew I was overprotective of this girl, but it's only because I was still afraid. I was trying to come up with a solution on how to make this right, because everything that happened today was my fault.

Before I knew it, we were parked outside Bella's house. I told Emmett and Rose to stay inside the car, that I could take care of Bella tonight.

She slept through it as I carried her outside the car and into her house. Charlie answered the door, worried out of his mind as he saw his daughter unconscious. I assured him that she was all right. Just tired.

"What else did the doctor's say? Why did it just happen now? She's been exposed to car lights almost everyday this passed week." Charlie whispered, lifting the blankets of Bella's bed so I could set her in.

I lay her down gently, taking extra care of her head on the pillows. I remembered my conversation with the doctor. "She said that Bella was a special case. She may have been unconsciously blocking certain memories of the crash, and that… maybe something happened recently that triggered the memory." I couldn't do it. I couldn't admit to Charlie that it was my fault. I looked down, guilty and pained.

After Charlie gave her a kiss to the forehead, he ushered me out of the room, but I stopped midway staring at her. "Uhm, Charlie, I…" I stared between him and back. I didn't want to leave.

He seems to have sensed my dilemma and sighs. "You can stay, but no sleepovers." He points out. I purse my lips, embarrassed. I had a feeling he knew about the impromptu sleepovers. "And, let your parents know that you'll be home late."

I smirk, and nod at him gratefully as he closes the door behind him.

Walking back to Bella, I sit on the edge and lean down, kissing her gently on the cheek, feeling her soft skin against my face. "I'm sorry, " I whisper painfully, stroking her hair out of her forehead. "This is all my fault." The weight of my words cut me deep. I was supposed to be protecting her, not make things worse.

"I'm so sorry, Bella."

...

...

**Bella's POV**

I sigh on the bed sheets, starting to feel myself arouse. It has been like this, always for the past couple of weeks. From an irregular sleeping schedule I wake up around midnight. This felt and smelled like my bed, but, how did I get here?

I open my eyes to the purple ceiling. The rain still poured outside, and the room was dark. My eyes start to wander around. It stops on the sleeping, hunched up form of my best friend, resting half his body on the bed, and the other sitting on the chair.

My heart constricts. No matter what happens, he never leaves my side. "Edward," I whisper, but it wasn't loud enough to wake him up. I stare at his scrunched up face close to my shoulder, feeling my eyes water up at the guilt I felt for making him this way. The look in his eyes when he woke me up in the hospital earlier still remained in my head. It reminded me of the day I woke up to his sleeping face almost two weeks ago. He was too shocked and distressed to believe what he was seeing in front of him.

He didn't believe that my eyes were open looking at him.

Five months he spent, lingering with the idea if I may or may not return to this world. Not just him. My family and friends. They've all been so worried. Rosalie… the look of terror on her face when she was trying to snap me out of my panic attack. It was so unusual and foreign, as if she thought I would slip back into a coma right then and there.

Why did I always turn them away? Why did I refuse most of their help? I've been so used to doing things on my own, but now I know that I don't have to.

Shifting to my side, I gently coax him awake, running my fingers up the side of his face and up to his hair. He stirs slightly. "Edward," I whisper close to his face and trail my lips down his profile, slowly and gently. When I reach his lips, I caress them gently, saying his name again.

After a moment, I feel them pressing back. His hand lifts up to my neck, pressing my closer and I oblige. I slowly raise my eyelids to find a pair of green orbs looking at me. "Hi."

"Hi." I stroke his hair, not breaking his gaze. We were silent for a split moment, and I break the ice. "How long have I been out?"

He shifts slightly to glance at his watch. "About four hours," his hand comes up to my cheek, "you should get back to sleep."

I cover his hand with mine. "Stay." I almost pleaded.

He smirks. "I may need to go. Charlie warned me, no sleepovers."

"Then stay until the rain settles down." I didn't want him to leave. He's always been by my side at night ever since I woke. Having to wake up this morning without his arms around me felt too painful to handle. "I don't like waking without you," I confess.

His expression grew soft. Just when he drew his body closer, he winced slightly from the pain on his back. Sleeping in his position for a few hours must have been really uncomfortable. I scoot down the bed and pull him by the hand. Lifting the duvet, he kicks off his shoes and settles in next to me.

Without warning, Edward dives in to my lips, holding my face gently with his hand. I breathe in fully and respond into his kiss, wrapping my arm around his shoulder. He didn't stop whenever I thought he would. We'd break away for the occasional breathe of air, but whenever it's over, Edward starts kissing my again. But these weren't rough and lustful, these were gentle and passionate. It's like he was trying to convey his feelings through actions. I was able to feel them. Through his kisses, I could feel whatever he was trying to say right down to my soul.

I love you.

I'm sorry.

Stay with me.

Don't leave me…

His thumb strokes my jaw and tugs my chin slightly, coaxing my mouth open. His tongue meets mine, and I am reduced to nothing else. Just him and me, our actions speaking louder than words. It wasn't long before our kisses grew more desperate, our bodies, a tangled heap under the blanket. I open my eyes into the kiss and pain sears through my chest. His expression, his face scrunched up as if he was in pain. I gasp involuntarily, and he mistakes it for encouragement. His tongue plunges into my mouth and I felt his agony.

But it wasn't just him. I wanted to convey my own words. How sorry I was for brushing him away, for not depending on him more often, for not understanding him enough. But not like this. I wanted him to see me. I pulled away a moment later and I bring my hand up to his face, running my thumb over his closed eyelids. We were breathing raggedly, but he seemed to understand what I wanted. He opened his eyes slowly and I held his gaze.

I sobbed.

There was so much pain in his eyes. Edward… why? None of this is your fault. I felt a tear run down my face, and he caught it with his thumb. "Bella,…" he choked. "I… I'm … so-" The pain I felt now was worse than the panic attack. I cut off his words with my lips, pressing them firmly against his. I didn't want to hear those words. You're not at fault, Edward. You never were.

It wasn't long before I felt the tremors wreaking his body. His tears were falling on my face and he whimpered into the kiss. I wiped the tears away from his cheeks, feeling my own begin to pour down continuously. He broke our lip lock and our breaths mingled with each other, his mouth hovering over mine.

Using my arms, I pulled him down to my chest as he borrowed his head on my neck, his lips resting on my collarbone.

I could count with my fingers how many times I've seen Edward cry. Since we were young, he never wanted to show weakness to others.

Sometimes, he even tried to hide from me.

… … …

_It was typical. Of course. How else would it end? _

_One side would be celebrating, whistles and screams and a prideful atmosphere while the other side dropped down and sulked at the loss of their school. The loss of their players. _

_The loss of the game. _

_My heart constricted when I recalled the fresh memory of my best friend down at the field on his knees, his head down and matted hair concealing his face and his emotions. But I knew what he was feeling. I always did. _

_I felt the pain of his injured pride when his teammates helped him to his feet, trying to get him back together. I felt his pain when he clenched his fist so hard, his knuckles looked noticeably white. I felt his pain when he shook hands with the other team, acknowledging them and accepting his own team's defeat._

_I stared at the now empty bleachers left and right. It was a mess. Popcorn kernels, hotdog foils, soda cans, and all sorts of trash that you'd see at the end of a soccer game. Normally, my friends and I would take amusement of the situation, but when a game doesn't go so well, then the sight just turns even more depressing. _

_A cool gust of wind blew my way making me shiver lightly. I clutched my light jacket tighter, hoping it would give me more warmth. I cursed myself for not wearing a warmer one. I breathed in and out, seeing my breath start to fog. My other classmates had left several minutes ago, but I sat tight and stayed. _

_It's been almost thirty minutes since the game finished. _

_He should be out here any minute now. _

_Just on cue, I heard the faint sound of a ball rolling on the grass followed by my best friend, straight from the locker rooms, who was towing behind him a huge net full of soccer balls being dragged along the grass. His back was to me, so he didn't see, but I was too high up on the bleachers to be noticed._

_He was tense. I felt it. He still had on his soccer uniform, only now with a windbreaker to protect from the cold. _

_He let the balls roll out randomly from the net and started kicking them with much force towards the goal. I could hear his sounds of frustration as he kicked each one towards the net. My heart ached for him. _

_It's always been like this after an unsuccessful game. The first time I'd caught him doing it, I could tell that he was determined and focused so I never made a move to bother him, but today felt different. I stood from my spot and made my way down to the field, only the metal fence was chained so I had no way to get in, but I threaded my hands through the diamond-shaped wires, hoping he would notice me. _

_He didn't. _

_Sighing, I reached into my bag and pulled out a bottle. "Hey!" I yelled loudly enough for him to hear. _

_Grunt and kick… grunt and kick…_

_He must have heard me. "Edward!" I yelled again._

_Still no reply. It hurt me a bit. Is he potentially ignoring me?_

"_Edward! Look at me!" I screamed louder._

"_WHAT?" He replied harshly, kicking another ball into the goal. I flinched back, surprised. He looks at me, his eyes piercing, full of too many emotions for me to comprehend. I discarded the bottle back inside my bag. This wasn't a time for pep talks. I didn't want to ask if he was okay. That was the last thing he wanted to hear right now. Of course he wasn't okay. After a few seconds of staring, he turned back towards the goal, gathering more soccer balls at his expense. "What are you doing here, Bella?"_

_His tone and question hurt me a little bit. I'm always here, Edward. "I just… I knew you'd be here and…," I couldn't leave you alone. I was tripping on my words. What do you say to a person who just lost the winning shot to a game?_

"_What, think you'd give me a pep talk? Thanks but I've had enough of that from the team. Go home, Bella." I fought the tears sprouting from my eyes and told myself it was the anger talking. But he's not getting rid of me that easily._

"_I was waiting for you. I came with you, remember?" He started kicking again, and the balls went in effortlessly. What are you thinking right now, Edward?_

"_You should've gone home with the others. Sorry, but I'm not leaving." He spoke without turning. _

_I pursed my lips, looking down. "Well, you've got to come home sometime."_

_He went silent for a moment, looking livid in his stance. "So, what did you think of the game?" He kicked again, gritting his teeth._

"_Edward…," _

"_No, no… I want to know how you felt. How everyone bloody felt after the last ten seconds of the game. Did you see how the ball bounced back when it hit the side of the goal… like this?" He kicked a random ball, and just as a half-hour ago, it bounced back, hitting the white painted metal with an audible clang. I actually felt amazed that he could recreate such a feat. "Classic, really," he says with a sarcastic tone. "Damn it! Only ten seconds left to the game, Cullen has the ball, the Lions are making a path, he has an opening, he takes his shot and-"_

_Clang!_

_I winced as he kicked another one, missing the net and hitting the pole. _

"_Whoa!" he feigned a cheer, "and Cullen MISSES the goal. The crowd goes wild. End of story." _

_I wanted to talk to him, but there was a twenty feet distance and a metal fence separating us. I gripped the fence, tempted to climb over but remembered that I was wearing a skirt. That won't be too pretty. "Edward, I know that game was important to you and the team, but it's not your fau-"_

"_Not my fault. Yup. That's what everyone said." He shook his head and laughed. "That's what the coach said, what Chris said, what Bryce said,… Dad and Mom and everyone else including you." He emphasized the last word as if I'd done something demeaning. He snickered and stared at the starless night sky. I didn't know what else to say. What should I say? _

_I felt like such a useless friend, I could cry. _

"_You know what, I never thought I'd say this, but James Roberts was the only one who even had the guts to tell the truth to me today." As he mentioned that name, I stared at him dejectedly, my chest in an awful amount of pain. "'Nice going missing our win, striker boy,' he told me. 'If this is the kind of setback you create in your junior year, I wonder what kind of hell you'll create when you become a senior.'" He shook his head. "Yeah, believe it or not, that actually made me feel a lot better, so thank you. The team's loss was most definitely 'not' my fault." He said mockingly. "Don't be so naïve, Bella."_

_Listening to his tone, I didn't know if he was honest or sarcastic. It's got to be the latter. I took a deep breath, trying to keep the tears at bay. Nice going, Bella. I didn't like him like this. He was angry and upset, and I could tell… he was taking it out on me. I cursed the metal fence separating me from him. "Edward, could you unlock the fence, I think it'd be easier to talk if we didn't have a twenty foot distance between us. "_

_He gave a frustrated sigh. "I'm going to be a while, I don't…" he stopped mid-sentence, then shook his head, "I don't need you here. I don't need you for this, so just leave already."_

_His words were like a hammer to my chest. He didn't even make an effort to look at me, but I guess it was better that way. I'd rather he said that without looking directly to my eyes. _

_Edward was pushing me away. It tended to happen whenever he was upset about something but this time was different. He was hurting me on purpose so I would slip away. I realized that right then and there, I wanted to tell him how much I loved him and make his suffering go away. _

_How do I do that?_

_By just leaving? _

"_Bella." I looked up and he was staring at me now, his expression devoid of any emotion. "Go. Home." He meant it. _

_With one last look, I gave him a nod, answering his request. I left without a word, turning around and walking up the stairs until I reached the parking lot where Edward's car was parked at one corner._

_I decided to sit tight and wait. He may lash out, telling me how stubborn I was and why I couldn't just leave him alone, but I knew he wouldn't leave me here._

_When I was sure I was far away enough to even sense him, my tears started to fall. Stupid sobs were escaping my mouth so I covered it with my hand, trying not to make any noise and failing completely. My eyes were stinging after a few minutes and I was pretty sure my face was a complete mess. Why am I even crying?_

_I scoffed at my stupidity. The boy you love just told you he didn't need you and is pushing you away. How could that not make you cry?_

_Another round of sobs took over me and I fought hard to keep it in. Wiping my tears astray, I leaned against the hood of the car and began to wait._

_It was practically thirty minutes since I stopped crying and then I felt a shift in the air. The wind grew cooler and slight moisture hit my skin. I stared at the black sky. Living in the dampest spot in America, you grow accustomed to this feeling and begin to predict. _

_Rain. _

_When I felt the first drop hit my cheek, I gasped as it grew heavier at the next five seconds. I was drenched head to toe after ten. I stared at my clothes at cursed at the sky. "Wonderful." The weather doesn't have to be so empathetic with me. Then I remembered Edward. He wasn't still thinking of staying was he? _

_I ran back towards the field, and sure enough, there he was still kicking goals with no intention to stop. "Edward!" I called out, running down the bleachers and hanging onto the railing for support. "Edward!" He wasn't turning. The rain grew stronger and thunder even cracked the sky. I gripped the metal fence and tried calling out again. He couldn't even hear me. A bright flash erupted the sky and I covered my ears, preparing myself for the sound of lightning. It didn't disappoint. It was so loud I felt it in my chest. Looking back, I sensed Edward wasn't even affected by it. "You idiot, Edward!" I screamed again, yet he still didn't seem to hear me. _

_I glanced at the top of the fence and groaned. Screw the skirt. I climbed the metal railings shamelessly, swung my foot to the other side and dropped down, landing ungracefully on my ass. Edward's back was to me acting like he was the only person left in the world. Not on my watch. I stood and ran deadbolt toward him and with strength I never knew I had, tackled him onto his back on the grass._

_He landed with a loud grunt as I straddled him, and he stared at me with crazed eyes. "Are you insane?" He yelled at me, trying to get back up but I wouldn't let him. I pushed his shoulders back to the wet grass. "What are you doing? I thought I told you to go home!" He tried sitting up and I pushed him back down. _

_I was thankful for the rain, it hid my tears. "Yeah, well, I'm not leaving, Edward! You of all people should know that by now!"_

"_What are you talking about? Get off me!" He made a move to shove me aside but I shoved him back._

"_You've got to stop this, Edward!" My voice shook, only I didn't know if it was because I was crying or because of the cold. "Stop pushing me away!"_

"_Bella, just leave me alone!"_

"_I. Was. Sad." I yelled out suddenly, catching him off guard. "Okay? I was sad that you lost the game, sad that you missed the shot when you've come so close to winning, and so was the rest of us. Who wouldn't be, Edward? It's our school. Who wouldn't be sad after losing a game? But, so what? That's life. You win and you lose. You've come close, you did your best, and everyone knows you did! You played wonderfully, and scored so much, it was astounding to watch you." I breathed, trying to catch my breath under the cold. He stopped fighting now, and was just lying down on the grass, looking at me. "We were sad that you lost the game, Edward… but we're not disappointed in you or the rest of the team. Some others might be like Roberts, and I can't speak for everyone but who cares? When you fail at something, then you work yourself harder to get better, but staying out here in the middle of a storm won't do you any good! Pushing people away won't do you any good. Do you understand?" My grip loosened on his shoulders, but he didn't even try to get up. I sniffed._

_He stared at me with a sad expression, and it was the first true emotion I'd seen on him all night. "Don't let this get you down, Edward. You're better than that. Make every failure, every regret just an inspiration to do better in the future." I let out a shuddering breath and hovered above his face, moving my hands to his hair, brushing them out of his forehead. "If you ever think of trying to push me away, then let me tell you now that it will never work." I recalled the same words he told me a couple of years ago and said them right back. There was something in his green eyes that I couldn't read as I said those words, but he looked so… dejected and resigned. _

"_You're the most important person to me, Edward. I can't bear to see you like this. So just…" I sniffed again, "just… pull your bloody self together, okay?" A moment later, he nodded silently. "And… promise me you won't ever push me away again," my voice squeaked at the end, making it sound like a question. He nodded even harder. "Good." I sat up and let the rain mingle with the tears on my face. It took me a moment to realize that I was still straddling my best friend in a skirt, nonetheless. But my face was so frozen I couldn't even feel my cheeks heat up. I made a move to get up, "oh God, look at me, I'm-," before I even had the chance to stand, I felt the strength of Edward's arms pull me to him as he sat up, his face burrowing at the side of my neck. I gasped at the sudden action and the strong grip he had on me. His knees bent behind me, allowing my back to lean on them for support._

_I swallowed, suddenly a little bit conscious. I was straddling him in the middle of the field, it was raining cats and dogs, and he was holding on to me for life. _

_Realizing that we were the only ones here and that it didn't matter, I relaxed in his hold._

_I responded by wrapping my arms around his, glad to have my Edward back. His body was shaking just as mine was, but what surprised me was his tremors didn't come from the cold rain. My left ear caught sound of his soft sobs, and his chest was heaving with an uneven tempo. I held him tighter, feeling more of my own tears descend my face. _

_This was… rare. I almost never see him cry, not since we were kids. _

_But I knew Edward. He was the type of person who didn't want to show vulnerability. Whenever he was sad, he'd channel the feeling into anger instead. But I hope he realizes that in front of me, he could still be the little boy I knew all those years ago. _

_I ran my fingers through his tangled, wet hair, hoping it would give him a little comfort. A moment later, I felt his trembling begin to subside and his head never felt heavier on my left shoulder, but I didn't care. I loved how he was leaning in to me for once. _

_He shifted a second later and I released my grip on him. He shrugged off his windbreaker and draped it around me, securing the hood on my head. I looked at him, puzzled. His expression was… I don't know. Content? Resigned? Peaceful? Other than that, he was looking at me like I was the most precious thing in the world. It made my breath hitch. He touched my face and leaned towards me. "Go on inside, I'll fix the field." With that, he stood up taking me with him by gripping my hips with little effort. I stared at the dark entrance to the locker rooms behind me and back to Edward who was kicking the soccer balls towards the large net containing the bulk. _

_I scowled and sprinted towards him, holding up the net so he could put the balls in easily. He stares at me, a look of irritation passing his features. "I'm not leaving you by yourself. It's faster if we both do it." I said, despite the rain. We were both completely soaked head to toe after gathering every ball, and we sprinted towards the entrance of the field, lugging behind us the huge net. Reaching the end of the hall, Edward pushed it into the supply room with minimal difficulty and took my hand, leading it into the team's locker room. It was empty, of course, this late at night and on a Saturday. I shed both jackets hanging off of me and tried squeezing the rain out of my clothes. Edward handed me a towel, and we dried ourselves to our best ability. He changed his top to a dry shirt and I gripped my upper arms, wishing I had something dry to wear home. It took me a second to notice Edward staring at me, worry and guilt etched onto his face. I forced out a smile, letting him know that I was alright, but even my lips couldn't stop shivering. _

_He grabbed a dry jacket from his locker and slipped one of his arms through one sleeve. He held out the other end of the jacket and wrapped it around my shoulders, to my surprise. I slipped my right arm onto the right sleeve and leaned into Edward's warmth on instinct. I smiled at the gesture as he wrapped both his arms to meet me in a hug. Mmm, that felt all warm and cozy. I hear him chuckle slightly and felt his lips plant a kiss on my forehead._

_My eyes flew wide, feeling the instant warmth enveloping me. _

_He flashes me his crooked grin and says the words I never thought he'd say today. _

"_Let's go home, Bella."_

…

…

I held him tight, his hard sobs wreaking throughout his body and mine. It was frightening me a bit. In all our years together, never have I seen him cry this much. The side of my neck was wet with his tears, and every breath he made felt like a struggle.

A whimper escaped me. I couldn't take this.

I pulled away from him, much to his denial and held his face to mine, wiping a trail of tears with my thumb. His eyes were red and face was scrunched in pain. "Edward," I cried, bringing my lips to the spot below his eyes, "it's okay." I tried to assure him. "It's okay, I'm here." I held his gaze, staring into his mesmerizing green eyes. "I'm here. I'm not leaving you."

"Bella," he choked, holding my closer that I already was, "I… can't lose you… again," his words barely comprehensive, but I understood.

I kissed him between cries. "You won't. You won't ever. You almost lost me once… it'll never happen again."

"Don't leave me."

"I won't."

"Promise me."

"I promise." With those words, he caught my lips once again and we exchanged salty kisses throughout the night.

…

...

**Edward's POV**

My eyelids felt like lead as I tried with great effort to open my eyes. The first one I saw was my Bella, peacefully asleep, her cheeks a mass of dry tears, eyes as pink as mine probably was. Deep breath. My chest felt exhausted. I hadn't cried like that since I was a kid.

On the outside, I knew I looked like hell, but on the inside, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted. I wanted to stay. I really did, but if Charlie walks in on us together, I dreaded the sight of his gun. The darkness outside the window told me that dawn hadn't come yet.

I turned back to my Bella, so peacefully asleep. How beautiful and vulnerable she looks. As I started disentangling our limbs, I noticed that we still hadn't changed out of our clothes last night. I was almost half-way out when Bella started to stir.

I smiled, touching her face gently. "Sshh, go back to sleep, love."

She groaned. "Edward," her voice coarse and eyes blinking slowly, "where are you going?" She held my hand firmly.

Sighing, I brought my face down to hers. "I need to go."

"No," she shook her head immediately, "please stay."

I shook my head. "I can't. Your dad will kill me if he sees us in here. He gave me a little bit of 'the boyfriend talk' last night." I shrugged, trying to lighten the mood.

She sniggered, rolling her eyes. It worked. "Are you serious?"

"I told you, remember. He said 'no sleepovers.'" I twirled a lock of her hair. "Funny, he didn't have a problem with that when we were younger. It was a lot easier back then."

She sighed. "I'll explain everything to Charlie. He'll understand. I don't want you to leave."

Jesus. It really hurt to leave. "I know you will, but he will think of me as the boyfriend who didn't listen and still slept in his daughter's bed."

She gave a weak smile. "It's not like we did anything."

I chuckled and leaned down to give her a kiss. "Oh, I beg to differ." We broke away a few seconds later. She sighed and held my hand to her face. "It's crazy. I know I'll be seeing you again in a few hours, but I really don't want to leave this bed." I gave a tired grunt and surrounded her with my arms, keeping most of my weight off her.

Bella giggled, and oh, how I love that sound. "Then don't leave. I'll make it worth your while," her hands threaded through my hair, and she knew how much I enjoyed that.

"Damn, Bella. You can't just say things like that. You don't know whom you're dealing with," I say, trailing soft kisses down her neck while my hand toyed with the hem of her shirt. She moaned.

This woman will be the death of me. "I'm pretty sure I do, Edward," she teased, and I teased back by running my hand underneath her shirt. She gasped, as if I'd given her a shock. "Was it really just a few hours ago when I witnessed you crying in front of me?"

Damn it.

I groaned onto her neck and she chuckled. "Still a touchy subject, huh?"

I propped my head up with the palm of my hand, my elbow resting in the pillow. "Well, it's not exactly something I like to do."

She looked down sheepishly then brushed the underside of my eyes. "Our relationship seems to have a bit of a hormonal imbalance, I guess." I laughed silently. "You know, I can count with my one hand the number of times I've seen you cry after we turned twelve."

"Mm," I leaned over, catching her pouty lips. "You know the reason why. No one knows me better than you."

"I know that, it's just," she toyed with my sweater.

"What?"

"I just… find it endearing when you show me that part of yourself. Not a lot of people get to see it."

I raised a brow and smirked at her. "Bella, you're usually the only one who gets to see it."

She gazed at me and gave a small smile. "Well then," she touched my cheek, "I want you to promise me something."

"What is it?"

She took a deep breath. "Whenever you're hurting in here," she placed her hand over my heart, "promise me you won't hold it in." I blinked. "Edward, I know what it feels like to hold in your pain and hide it as if it doesn't even matter or exist. Being a person like that, it… changes you for who you are, and you start to see things in a dark light. You were there for me, always, when I let my heart out, my anger, or my tears.

"This time, I want to be there for you for whatever happens, if you'll let me."

I couldn't help the smile that broke out my face. "You're amazing, you know that."

"I'll agree with you if you agree to that promise," she smirked.

I held the hand that was on my chest. "I promise, Bella." I leaned in closer until our noses were touching. "You think I'll ever get to deny you anything?"

"Mm, that's a dangerous question. Will you stay with me tonight?"

I caught her lips in a passionate kiss. "Don't tempt me." Untangling myself from the sheets, and from Bella, much to her protest, I slipped off the bed and put on my shoes. The digital clock next to Bella's bed blinked 4:34 AM. Oh hell. When I turned back to give her a kiss, I was surprised to find her cocooned inside her duvet from head to toe. "Uhm, Bella?"

"Just go," her voice muffled, "the faster you go, the faster you won't see me cry."

I stared at her dearly, "Bella, come on, don't be like this." I sat back down, trying to get the duvet off her head. "I would really like to kiss you before I leave, could you at least give me that." The rocking of the duvet told me her answer is 'no'. "Bella," I whined, poking at the sides of the duvet. When she didn't budge or reply, I sighed and went in to hug her instead. "I love you," I whispered, unsure if she heard it or not.

…

…

…

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**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**First of all, dear readers. I am terribly sorry for the long gaps between chapters. I know how much it sucks to have to wait… believe me, I'm a reader of fiction as well, but I hope you know that I'm doing my best. Reality just gets in the way, that's all. I hope you enjoyed Chapter 20 though! No smut yet…if you know what I mean. Haha! But if it doesn't come next chapter, then it'll be the next one after that.**

**I'm almost done with this, just so you know! And I have two other stories coming up! Please read them as well!**

**And uuuh… I probably lost a lot of readers through time (crying)… I only received 20 or so reviews for the last chapter, but that's probably my fault, since I haven't been updating a lot. But it still hurts… PLEASE REVIEW, YOU GUYS! Hopefully I can make it up to you all. (Ahem… please read my next story.)**

**When is my next update? Uuh, your guess is as good as mine. I don't want to make any promises I can't keep, but just to let you know, I'm already working on the next chapter... But I've been distracted lately cause uhm... HARRY POTTER is... (crying shamelessly)... I can't even say it... (drowning in a pool of tears).**

**Aaand…**

**Oh! Wait! We're not done with Chapter 20!**

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…

…

…

**Bella's POV**

The sound of the door swinging and closing gently passed through my senses and it was almost as if my heart dropped on reflex. I closed my eyes and felt a tear drop down my cheek.

_This is ridiculous, Bella. You're seeing him in a few hours, there is no reason to cry. _I told myself. My breath went out shakily and I groaned in self-misery. As I lifted the blanket off my face, I wiped the dampness from my cheek. I can't stay away from him… even if it's just a few hours. Especially not after last night.

"You really were crying."

I gasped, and opened my eyes, surprised to see Edward walking toward the bed quickly from the door. He didn't even leave! "Y-you…" I didn't get to finish my words. As soon as Edward approached me, he took my face in his hands and started kissing my senselessly. "Edward (kiss), you didn't leave (kiss)."

He released me and smiled. "You didn't say you loved me back," he whispered. I looked down sheepishly, feeling him brush my cheek with his thumb. He groaned and slumped to the bed beside me. "God forbid. I don't think I can leave you if you're crying like this." He mumbled.

I moved onto his chest and he held me to him immediately. I nuzzled my way through his neck and settled with resting my head on the little nook. "You're leaving in a few days, you know," I said solemnly, feeling the rise and fall of his chest.

I felt the frown come on to his face. "I know. I'll come home every weekend."

"It's a very long drive."

He replied immediately. "I don't care." He pulled back and tilted my chin with his finger so I could hold his gaze. "I just got you back, Bella. You think I can go a week straight without seeing or talking to you, especially now that I know you love me, and have loved me all these years? I'd take you with me if I could."

"Then take me with you." My voice pleaded, even though I knew the answer.

He smiled sadly. "As tempting as that is, you need to stay and recover." His forefinger fluttered over my eye as it closed on reflex. He leaned in and gave it a soft kiss just as he had done in the hospital to wake me up. "You're afraid of the light."

My hearth thumped at the memory. "It's only temporary, it has to be." I frowned, tightening my hold on him. "I don't want to talk about it," I whisper, "I don't want to think about it… the sounds, the lights. It's just all too much." I burrowed my head further into the nook, attempting to hide if I could.

He stroked my hair lovingly. "Alright, alright, I shouldn't have brought it up. I'm sorry," he said sincerely, a touch of worry in his tone.

I sighed on his chest, not wanting to leave his arms. "I feel safe," I began, "when I'm around you, you know." His stroking stopped. "When you hold me like this, I feel like nothing can scare me, not lights, not sounds, not… cars, not anything." I closed my eyes and thought back. "When I had nightmares as a kid, I remember some times when you'd stroke my hair just like this, and you'd whisper to me, I'm he-,"

"I'm here, Bella. Everything is going to be okay," he continued for me, his hand moving once again on my hair.

I smiled, "Then you'd softly hum my lullaby." Sure enough, a second later, Edward started humming the tune of the melody I grew to love so much ever since he played it for me on his piano. "And when I calmed down, you'd whisper-,"

"That I will always be there for you." He finished. His lips rested on top of my head. "You knew about that, huh?" He sounded amused.

I chuckled. "Well, it was my only source of comfort after a bad dream. How could I not know?" I shifted and leaned up on my elbows so I'd look down on him. My fingers trailed down his temple. "I love you, Edward," I whisper, earning a lovely smile from him. His hand went to my hair and pulled me down gently on his waiting lips. "Take me with you," I whisper languidly between a kiss.

"Told you, I can't," he whispered back.

"No, not that," I look at him, "I meant tonight. Take me with you tonight, please. I can't leave you."

He blinked. "Charlie?"

"I'll tell him that I went to you."

He smirks. "Well, that's not breaking the rules."

Before I knew it, a minutes had passed and I found myself on Edward's bed, wrapped around his safe arms as I drifted off to sleep, and when I woke, he was there, brushing the hair out of my eyes and kissing me gently.


	21. A New Beginning

**A/N: Is anyone still there? **

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CHAPTER 21: A New Beginning

TWO AND A HALF MONTHS LATER…

I stared at my father, half nervous and half adamant for his reply. He stared at me, face unreadable as I stood unwavering in front of his study. I didn't know how long the silence went on, but I'd give my left leg to break the trepidation in the room.

Come on, dad. Just speak up!

When he took a deep breath, my body tensed, and he laughed.

Wait a minute… he laughed?

"For heaven's sake, Edward, sit down. I'm not about to throw you in jail." He rubbed his forehead, amused. Unfortunately, I wasn't at the slightest.

"Uhm, D-dad," I sat slowly, "you know I'm being serious right?"

He sighed heavily and leaned back in his chair. "Of course I know. I knew this day would come, but I didn't think it'd be so soon. I thought it'd be after you graduated medical school at least, but apparently, you just can't wait can you?" His raised a crooked brow.

I smirked. "It is for the best. Not really for me, I mean for Bella." Please say yes, please say yes…

"Oh I don't disagree on that, Edward, in fact I support it." He shrugged.

My eyes bugged out. "Y-you do? You serious, Dad?" I thought he'd pick up an argument first.

"Oh yes definitely. It'd be good to have Bella live with someone we trust, however it's the 'boyfriend living with his girlfriend in college' thing that I'm worried about." His face went smug. "And I'm sure that you'll have a very difficult time trying to convince Charlie. Who knows what'll happen with you two living under the same roof-,"

I groaned, "Oh, Dad, please, let's not talk about that," I held my hands up. This was the conversation I was worried about. "You know the main reason why we want to live together is so I could look after her!"

"Is it really the main reason? Bella's two weeks off of physical therapy, and she's improving well. She could very well live in her college dormitories, you know." Damn, this conversation is taking a wrong turn.

"But she's still afraid of the streets at night. You said it yourself; phobias don't just go away overnight. Who would be there for her if she got a late night in school?"

"I suppose she has friends in the college, and your school isn't more than twenty minutes away."

"But! It would be better if we lived under the same roof! You know, time saving and all."

He chuckled. "Yes, I suppose it would."

"See!" I smiled.

"But you're both too young, Edward." Aand this is where it all goes nuclear. I sighed back in my seat. "And I really doubt that Charlie will agree to have his daughter living with her boyfriend in college."

"But Dad," I tried to argue, "I… I get worried. When it comes to her, I always do, especially now."

"I know you do, son. But I believe that there's nothing to be worried about anymore." I stared at him, my face dejected. "I know how much you both want this, but I'm afraid I still can't say yes right now."

"Dad,"

"But that's just my opinion. If Charlie agrees to your proposal to live together with Bella, I'm all ears." He smiled.

I just groaned. "Come on, Dad." I whined. The chances of Charlie saying yes was if there really was a man in the moon. I was hoping my father would say yes and be Charlie's 'voice of reason.' "Dad! I'll do anything! What does it take to get you to say yes?"

He answered without blinking. "A 4.0 GPA for the rest of your college life."

"Done! Wait- what?" I blinked.

He laughed and stood from his chair. "Edward, get to bed, it's late and you had a long drive. Why don't we continue this conversation tomorrow?"

"Is this your way of telling me to quit bothering you so you could get back to work?"

"Partly, yes, and I have a surgery in fifteen minutes."

"Anything interesting?"

"Yes, a butterfly tumor. I'm going to be up all night."

"I don't suppose you can let me scrub in."

"Get a diploma and I'll think about it. Besides, don't you have somewhere else to be?" He handed me my coat. "It is Friday after all."

I smiled slightly, a little embarrassed to have my father know what a Friday meant. "Uhm," I turned to him one last time.

He sighed, "yes?"

"About those 4.0's-,"

"Goodnight, Edward," my father muttered before closing the door on my face.

I walked out the hospital with my heart in my stomach. A part of me knew this was a long shot. Me and Bella, living together for college. I guess it did seem too good to be true. I only hoped that maybe Bella could give me the slightest good news as I drove the car to my house. I didn't even bother going inside. I knew my mother was asleep. It was passed midnight. Bella knew that I would be arriving in the morning, but I wanted to surprise her.

I smiled, walking down the street to her place.

These passed couple of months was nothing short of incredible. We only saw each other during the weekends but boy, did we make every moment count. She only seemed to get even more beautiful every time I saw her, if that's even possible. Her cheeks were fuller, her skin brighter, her smile… God. What I'd give to have her smile at me every day. I've been in love with her for almost nineteen years, and I never knew that I could possibly love her even more.

Once I was outside her house, I stared at her window and suddenly felt like doing something a little spontaneous. I bent and picked up a handful of pebbles and began throwing them on her closed window. I laughed to myself, thinking how long it has been since I'd thrown rocks on someone's window like some cheesy old chick flick movie. "Come on, wake up, love." I whispered, throwing a couple more. I stopped midway through my next throw when I noticed her figure approach.

Her hair was in disarray, but her entire face lit up when she found the culprit. _Edward, _she mouthed my name.

I found that I could see her clearly through the glass. I waved my hand and she waved hers. I gestured for her to come down and ruffled up my coat to say 'wear something warm.' She seemed to understand right away and held up one finger.

_One minute. _

I nodded, smiling as I watched her form retreat and waited for her to come through the door. She walked out not two minutes later, wrapped up in her big purple sweater and snow boots. She ran to me in a haste.

"Hello, Bella." I said casually.

"You liar!" She laughed as I caught her in my arms, her legs wrapping around my waist. I spun around twice. "Arriving in the morning, my ass."

I laughed. "I couldn't wait." Her head pulled back and she went in to kiss me. I kept one hand on her back, and the other went to her neck so I could deepen the kiss.

"God, I missed you." We pulled away a moment too soon.

She hummed. "I missed you too. Thank God you came tonight. I was miserable earlier today."

"Mm, let me guess, Charlie didn't approve." That was to be expected.

"Judging by your tone, I expect Carlisle didn't approve as well." I nodded and felt her legs unwrap as I set her down slowly.

"It sucks." I complained.

"I know. I guess it was too good to be true huh?"

I shrugged. "We tried, right?" My forehead pressed against hers. She stared back with smiling eyes.

"Yes, we did."

Ten minutes later, we ended up sitting on the swings in the old playground in the village. It used to be so run down when we were younger, but now it was a perfect place to rendezvous. I laughed at her silly attempt spinning around the chains. I loved how energetic she seemed to be now. Back in January, she couldn't even manage to stay up for en entire day without taking a power nap. We chatted for a little while… random things, really. It's odd that we never run out of things to talk about.

"Aah, I'm getting dizzy." She chuckled, leaning her head against the chain. I laughed, pulling on one of the chains, bringing her closer to me. I held her in place between my legs so she couldn't escape. I caught her lips for a second and gave her a deep kiss, which she happily returned. When we broke away, we stared at each other through half-lidded eyes. "Okay… now I'm even more dizzy."

I smiled smugly. "I do that, huh?"

She raised a brow at me. "Well, aren't we cheeky today." I chuckled and kissed her again.

"So, how did Charlie react when you told him about the apartment?"

She leaned against me and sighed. "I can't really remember most of the conversation, but it did revolve around the words, 'you can't live with your boyfriend at this age,' 'a girl's dormitory will suffice,' oh, and 'you're absolutely crazy.'"

"Hmm, I thought as much." I shrugged casually.

"What about you?"

"Dad pretty much had the same reaction, although he did agree under one condition."

"And what was that?" She smirked.

"That I get a 4.0 GPA for the rest of my College life."

"Well you could easily do that. The great Edward Cullen afraid of a challenge?"

I scoffed. "Oh, believe me, I'm fired up. How about you then, Miss Scholarship grant?"

"Mmm, what about me?" I felt her smile. I paused before answering.

"Are you… still thinking… about taking that Culinary Major in California?"

She stiffened against me and our swinging came to an abrupt stop. I felt her nervousness through the waves.

Last month, when I came through Bella's window one night, she was fast asleep on her bed. She had no idea that I found her acceptance letter peeking out of one of her jackets strewn across my rocker. I thought she'd tell me about it when the morning came, but the conversation never came up. I knew the reasons why she wanted to keep it a secret, but I couldn't help but feel a little hurt by the act.

We rarely kept secrets from each other.

Bella pulled away from my chest slowly and looked at me with solemn eyes. With that one look, I knew how guilty she felt, but I took her hand in mine to let her know that we were okay.

"H-how did you find out?" She whispered softly.

I sighed. "I found the letter… last month." She tore away her gaze and looked down at the ground. Already, I could see her beating herself up. My brow furrowed. "Hey," I called to her, "hey, hey, it's alright." I cupped her temple and brought her face closer to me, but her gaze was still down. "I'm not mad."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to keep it from you, Edward." Her voice conveyed sadness.

I pressed my lips against her temple. "I know you didn't, but why did you?"

She looked up at me then. "I…I just thought… I just thought it was irrelevant."

"Irrelevant?" I repeated with a hint of incredulity. "Bella, how is your future irrelevant?"

"That's not what I meant," she sighed, escaping from my embrace and stood a few feet away, her back facing me. "When I applied, I didn't think I would even get in."

"When did you do it?"

She sighed. "January. I didn't think it would result to anything."

I stood from the swings and walked to her slowly, bringing my arms around her middle, pressing her back against me. She was still tense. "Tell me how." I said simply.

"I was just browsing the internet, and… having just woken up from a five month coma, I started thinking about different things, what I really want, how unpredictable the future really is, and how time just flies by without our knowing.

"I found a good Culinary Academy in California by accident, and I filled out their application for fun! I didn't think they would actually reply. I took their online exam out of a whim and a few weeks later, the letter arrives at my doorstep."

"How did you feel?"

It took a few seconds before she answered. "I… don't know. If anything, I was more confused than ever." Slowly, I turned her around to face me.

"Bella," I said softly, "you want it. I know you do." Her eyes said it all, but she was trying to fight it. "What's stopping you?"

She looked down at our entwined hands. "A lot of things…,"

"Which are?"

"The distance."

"California's not halfway across America."

"The money."

"Loans and scholarships."

"Charlie."

"He will understand more than anyone. He wants you to do what you've always wanted to do. He told me himself."

She looked up at me slowly, staring with desolate eyes. "You." I nodded, and it was my turn to break our gaze.

This was harder than I thought. More than anything, I wanted her to stay, but here I was, convincing her to move thousands of miles away from me and it hurt like hell. But this was more important, so I stood my ground.

"Bella,… I want you to follow your dreams. Whatever happens, you do know we'll work it out somehow."

"Edward…"

"It will be hard, and we'll have to go through a lot of tough choices, but isn't that what life is all about?"

"But-,"

"You already lost five months of your life, Bella." I held her arms firmly. "I don't want you spending another moment of your life in regret. Don't just survive and settle on the things that you like, but live on with the things that you love. You taught me that yourself, remember?"

Her head suddenly dropped to my chest as she pulled me into her embrace. I stumbled back in surprise. "Why are you telling me this?" She muttered against my chest. "I thought you would try to convince me to stay, but here you are… telling me to go away."

My arms finally settled around her tightly, "what are you talking about?" my lips rested on top of her head. "I'm just telling you to follow your heart. You'd do the same if it were me."

"You are my heart, Edward. I can't… after everything that just… I just can't leave you, Edward."

I held her closer to me, feeling my chest tighten. "I know. I can't leave you either." I held her face in my hands, her eyes starting to form tears. "More than anything, I want to be with you every minute, every second of the day."

"Then tell me to stay. Edward, please. I can still study in Seattle. I don't hate English Literature, I can live with that."

I smiled sadly. "Yes, but I don't want you to have to keep looking back to this moment, thinking of what would have happened if you made a different decision. If you live on regret then you'll only be living half the happiness you truly deserve.

"I want to tell you to stay, Bella, believe me, God knows I can't spend another moment away from you, but…" I closed my eyes to stifle the pain I felt inside. "I can't tell you to stay. That would just be me stopping you to go after your dream. You helped my find my dream, Bella. You made sure that I wouldn't stray away from my path, and now it's my turn." Tears started streaming down her face and I kissed them away. I wanted to be a selfish bastard and tell her to stay. One word could do it, but I just couldn't. It wouldn't be the right thing.

"I don't want to leave you." She said desperately.

"I know, love. But it's not the end for us. We'll make it work."

She sniffed and looked at me with tear-stricken eyes. She seemed to be contemplating everything, and when she finally spoke, I felt both sadness and happiness at the same time. "Do you promise?"

She's taking it.

She's leaving me.

What the hell are you doing? Ask her to stay, you bastard! You know you can't do without her!

I knew I couldn't.

But for some reason, I wasn't scared of the possibility of losing Bella. With everything we've been through, I knew we were meant to be together. She was my future, my love and my life.

And right then and there, an idea struck me. I stared back at her beautiful face, tears and all, and felt more confident than ever. If there's one way to make a promise, it was this. I leaned down and gave her the most passionate kiss I could muster. My hand went behind her neck as she responded with equal fervor. She opened her mouth and I explored it with my tongue, desperate to feel her. I wanted her to know how serious I was about what I was going to say next.

"Marry me, Bella." I uttered the moment we pulled away.

Her eyes opened languidly as she stared at me, disbelief crossing her features.

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**A/N: **

**OKAY People. Because I've been updating so slow, I decided to cut my chapters extra short so I can update quicker in between. I hope that's all right with you all. I'm going through my exam period at the moment, so please don't expect a new chapter so soon :D**

**I hope you're all still with me! We're almost done! And you'll get your HEA, I promise.**

**Love, Ocean**


	22. Eyes On me

Last chapter you guys…

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**CHAPTER 22: Eyes On Me**

**Bella's POV**

"_Marry me, Bella."_

I wasn't so sure if I heard it correctly. Was I imagining it? I stared at his face, so gentle and serene, as if he'd never been so sure about anything in his life. It took a moment before I found my voice.

"What?"

His eyes crinkled. "Marry me." There it was again. My heart thumped wildly in my chest, fluttering spasms all over me. I'd imagined this a thousand times, but now that it was really happening, I could find the strength to answer back.

Yes, yes! I'll marry you!

I wanted to yell back, but I couldn't find my tongue. He chuckled slightly, holding my face between his hands. "Silly girl, do you think I would _ever_ take another? It has always been you. Always has been, always will be."

"Edward," I breathed, feeling tears cloud my vision.

He took my hands in his. "I'm not telling you to marry me right now, Bella, but I am simply asking you," he went down on one knee, and it just about took my breath away, "will you marry me in the… hopefully, near future? Will you be my wife and wake up next to me everyday for the rest of your life? Will you bear my children, and love me till the day I die? Will you promise to be only mine, and no one else's, as I will promise to be yours now and forever?"

I couldn't hold back the sob that escaped me as I stared down at his loving face, so sure, so confident, no trace of doubt etched on his beautiful face.

"Love," He shook his head; a tender look upon his features. "You're crying… please, don't…,"

I sniffed. "How can I not when you're being so… so…," I chuckled between sobs, "so Edward."

It was his turn to laugh. "I make you cry?" I swore I heard a sob there at the end.

"You make me happy." I walked closer and this time I placed my hands on his temples. "And you… have the most impeccable timing." We both laughed at the irony of the situation. Here we were on a playground where we spent most of our childhood. So many memories embedded on the sand, and we were just about to make another.

I took his hands once again and urged him to stand. His arms went around my waist, and mine settled on his chest. "Silly boy," I whispered, "you know it has always been you. Always has, always will." My arms encircled his neck, bringing him down to my lips. I breathed upon his, "Edward, did you ever think I would say no?"

His smile was so wide I thought it would break his face. "No." he answered simply. "But you didn't give me an answer yet." His arms wrapped tighter around my middle, bringing me to him. "Will. You. Marry. Me. Isabella Marie Swan?"

"You already know the answer, Edward Anthony Cullen." He moved his lips down my face.

"Yes, but I want to hear it." He whispered. My fingers caressed his face.

"Do you want it in sky writing?"

"No." He replied quickly. "Just your voice. I need to hear it."

"Or written on the sand?" I said breathlessly as his lips whispered down my neck.

"Tell me now, Isabella."

I smiled. "But you already know the answer, Edward."

"I want to hear it. Tell me now." His voice was warm. "Tell me." Lips hovered over my face. "Will you marry me, Bella?"

"You know my answer." His fingers danced under my bare waist, sending goosebumps up my spine. He was barely kissing me, but I was getting dizzy with his ministrations. He growled against my neck.

"Then tell me now." His lips molded onto mine so it could move against his. "Yes. That's all you have to say." I kissed him with compassion as he held me closer. "_Yes_. Tell me. Please."

"You…" I sighed, "already know."

"What do I have to do?" He stared at me as his eyes danced with mirth, and his fingers continued his exploration. My legs were turning into jello by the second. "What do I have to do for you to tell me?" his voice hinting desperation.

I slowly peeled away from his embrace and walked a couple of steps backward. His face turned confused, but I knew exactly what I was doing,… what exactly I was going to give him. As I reached a few feet away, I smiled slyly and curled my finger toward him. "Come after me, Edward."

…..

…..

"_Why can't you still tell me, Bella? It's been weeks! I think I have a right to know this… 'secret' of yours, don't you?" He looked adorable with his hands on his waist. "It's a big one, I'm sure. I'm a little hurt that you won't tell me."_

_I smiled with amusement, but also with a touch of sadness inside. This was the one secret I couldn't tell him. "I told you! It won't be a secret if I tell you now wouldn't it?" I walked forward, holding my books to my chest. We were just walking home from school and the sun was about to set. _

"_Well, whatever it is, it's making you act weird." _

"_No it isn't."_

"_Yes it is. Come on, just tell me."_

"_No."_

"_Tell me."_

"_No."_

"_Just tell me."_

"_Why do feel like you have to know everything about me?" I raised a brow at him. _

"_Hello? Have we just met? Last time I checked, we're best friends Bella." He moved beside me, taking my books and carrying them himself. _

_I shrugged and looked at the ground. "Yeah, well, but come on, 'everything'? Isn't that just a tad bit scary? I mean, you don't know when my time of the month his now do you? And I'm pretty sure that's something you do not want to know."_

_He made a face. "Ah, that's different, Bells! Although you do get pretty antsy around the end of every month, so I'm guessi- OW!" He rubbed the arm where I hit him. "That hurt!"_

"_Stop trying to know everything about me!" I growled and sprinted ahead quickly, trying to get home. He can't know everything. Not anymore. He can't know that I have fallen for him. _

"_Okay, okay, I- I'm sorry. It was just a joke. I just thought that-,"_

"_What? You thought that what, Edward?" I crossed my arms. I knew I was being all hellish on him, and it wasn't fair but I just couldn't handle these new feelings. How easy would it be to just put a spell on him to fall in love with me? He stopped walking and stared at me, choosing carefully for his next words. "I'm pretty sure that you also have some secrets that you can't tell me." _

_With my words, his expression shifted to something I couldn't comprehend. Guilt? Fear? Like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Bulls eye. _

"_Can't you just allow me to keep this one thing?" _

_He looked at me sadly. "Is it so bad for me to know." _

_I shivered at the thought of him knowing and nodded simply. _

"_Do… other people know?"_

_I couldn't lie. "Uhm,…," but I couldn't say._

_He sighed in defeat then nodded. "Okay, I get it." I looked at him, feeling the guilt start to sink in. But he was so insistent on knowing. He knew I was hiding something. He senses these things about me. He started walking ahead, and I stared at his back the entire way home. When we stopped in front of his house, he handed me my books without looking me in the eye. "But uh," he scratched the back of his head, "just out of curiosity… what do I have to do or who do I have to be in order for you to tell me this almighty secret of yours?" _

_I scoffed and shook my head. "You don't give up do you?"_

"_I wouldn't be your Edward if I did."_

_My eyes snapped to him and I felt my heart jump at his words. "What?"_

"_What?" _

"_Oh… nothing," I replied, willing my heart to calm down. _

"_So… what's it gonna take for you to tell me?"_

_Well… for starters, you have to fall in love with me. I thought to myself. What a persistent bastard I have as a friend. I sighed, looking up at the tall tree in his front yard. I shrugged, "fine, I'll tell you," my books dropped to the grass, followed by my backpack._

"_What- really?" _

"_Yeah."_

"_Great! Then what is it?" _

"_I'll tell you under one condition." I stepped at the base of the tree trunk and hauled myself up the branches. Edward may be good at other sports, but I was good at climbing trees. _

"_Bella, what are you doing-," _

_I didn't stop until I reached the very top, feeling the afternoon breeze kiss my skin as I stared at the beautiful sunset. _

"_Bella! That's too high! Get back down here! You could get hurt!" I almost laughed. I'm already in pain, Edward. Unrequited love, huh? I finally get to be the average heroin in my favorite books. _

_Staring down at his small form, I called back, "if you could come after me this high, then I'll tell you everything, Edward!"_

"_You're crazy, Bella! You know I'm afraid of heights!"_

"_Exactly," I whispered to myself, "if you could conquer your fear, then I will." I called down to him again. _

"_I'm not going up there, Bella! Come down! That branch could snap at any second!"_

"_Then I guess I'll never tell you!" _

"_You play dirty, woman!" _

"_I wouldn't be your Bella if I didn't." I chuckled silently. _

"_That's it! I'm coming after you!"_

_It took him a few tries, but he never went passed half the length of the tree; too scared to go any higher. I smiled sadly as I watched the last bit off sunlight disappear in the horizon. _

_He stared up at me, giving me a look like he was the helpless little boy he is. I smiled sadly._

"_Come on then! Come after me, Edward!" I chuckled, and he only scowled in return. _

…

_**Edward's POV**_

"Come after me, Edward," she says, and all my worries washed out the window. Bella took off in a run across the street, laughing as I chased her around the bend in the road.

"Come back here, woman!" What was this girl up to? She merely smiled at me and continued to run down the street. When did she get so fast? I laughed, feeling a rush of adrenaline as I quickened my pace. "Marry me, Bella!" I yelled, not caring for the neighbors. I heard her squeal as she turned to look at me in disbelief. "I'm serious here! Marry me, damn it!"

She glanced around the houses, "oh my God, sshh, Edward," she giggled, slowing down a notch, earning me the chance to catch up quickly.

"You asked for it, Bella." I grabbed her by the waist, almost tackling her as she gasped in surprise, wrapping her legs around my waist as I hoisted her to my lips. We kissed between laughs. "What was that for, you silly girl?"

"Charlie's on a fishing trip with Billy," she whispered in my ear.

"Mhm, and?"

She stared at me, a wicked glint in her eye. "And… we'll be alone tonight." She must have registered the shock on my face. Was she thinking what I think she was thinking?

Please God, let it be what she's thinking. "Are you…,"

She smiled and nodded once.

…

Not a second passed before I took off in a run, holding her to me as she squealed in surprise, tightening her grip around me. "Edward, slow down," she laughed in my ear.

"Are you kidding me," I replied, ignoring her request and running faster toward the direction of her house. I heard her laughing over my shoulder as I reached the steps of the porch and kissed her ravenously against the door.

Bella moaned, running her hands through my hair. "Edward," she gasped as my lips turned to her neck, "oh Jesus,… urgh, let me… let me- get the door." Keys fumbled and I grunted when her legs released their grip around me and dropped to the floor. The door opened in a millisecond and at the next I had my arms around her waist, pulling her for a kiss as her hands held the sides of my face. Our lips moved in sync. I imagined us taking it slow during our first time, but with a raging hard on, I wasn't sure how long I could last.

I felt her pull away, to my dismay, but she merely laughed at my expression and pulled me by the hand.

Bedroom. Of course.

I kissed her again by the time we reached her door. I couldn't get enough! Honestly, this woman… she was going to be the death of me. We stumbled inside, tripping as we discarded our shoes and I slammed the door with my leg. We shed our heavy clothes as fast as we could. When the shirts came off, I carried her by the waist, her arms and legs wrapping around me instantly.

She gave me the most reverent smile I've ever seen as she leaned down to kiss. I returned it happily, keeping my eyes on her. I lowered her down the bed, leaving a trail of kisses down her smooth flesh until I reached the cup of her bra and pulled it down with my nose, taking her breast into my mouth.

She gasped and writhed beneath me, fingers tangling in my hair. "Edward…"

I groaned at the noises she was making.

Jesus. Three months of foreplay, and I never grew tired of the noises she made. She arched her back, fumbled with the clasp until I heard the snap and pulled away the annoying fabric between us.

Her body was glorious. White skin, softer than a petal, looking so fragile, I was afraid she would break. I traced the scars down the side of her waist, reminding me of the nightmare I had lived without her.

"Hey," she whispered, capturing my attention. Bella held my face between her hands as she sat upright, her legs still straddling me. Her soft hands caressed my face as I leaned down to capture one to kiss the palm of her hand. She smiled dearly, and I felt like my heart would combust with the adoration she held in her eyes. She took my hand and held it over her left breast, where I could feel her heart pounding fast. "I'm here," she said, "and I will always be, my dear, sweet, and silly boy."

I returned her smile.

She knew.

She always knew how I felt. The unsettling fear within me threatening to go berserk if anything would happen to her again, it was still there. But one word from her could send it all away. She's here. In front of me, and that's all that matters.

I sighed heavily, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders as I moved in to kiss her, slowly and tenderly as I lay her head down the pillow once again. I kissed her lips, her chin, her neck, until I reached her heart, feeling the running beat beneath my lips. "My dear,… sweet,… silly and _perfect _Bella." I felt her smile and she giggled above me. I crawled back up and kissed her again. "I love you."

"I love you too."

We avoided breaking our kiss as we pulled our pants off. It only took a couple of minutes until we were fully naked. Full skin on skin as we groaned at the contact.

God, she felt so good.

I reached down until my fingers had contact with her center. _Fuck, they were so wet._

She gasped between kisses as my fingers grazed her clit. She needed to be ready for this. "Spread your legs for me, Bella." I whispered and felt her comply. I broke our kiss, and felt her dismay until I moved down and held her legs separate.

Bella moaned out loud when my tongue came into contact with her slick center, tasting her sweet arousal as I licked, bit, and sucked. She writhed wildly beneath me and I held her legs in place. After doing this so many times in the past couple of months, if there was one thing I knew, it was that I had to have a firm grip on her legs as I pleasured her orally or her legs would clamp shut. And dear lord, did it turn me on.

She gripped the sheets tightly and I felt her shiver. "Edward," she screamed as she came undone on my mouth, her back arching beautifully as she rode through her orgasm. It was a scene I could watch forever. I crawled back up and kissed her long neck as she came down from her high.

"You. Are. So. Beautiful." I whispered between kisses. She smiled languidly and pulled me in for a kiss. I felt myself grow harder at the thought of her tasting her own self from my mouth. And it didn't help when her hand reached down and grabbed my shaft , stroking it up and down. I made a noise and pulled her hand back up, letting them rest above her head as I threaded my fingers with hers. I wasn't going to last if she did that.

I stared at her straight in the eyes. They were filled with so much love and trust. I asked her silently.

_Are you sure._

She smiled and nodded once.

_Yes. _

We talked about this. During our first time, we didn't want to use a condom. And she was on pill, I knew. We didn't want any barriers between us.

"Bella…"

She blinked at me, her eyes glassy as our lips touched. "Edward…" I felt the head of my cock touch her entrance. It took all my self-restraint to not just pound into her quickly.

No. I would do this right.

But I just had to ask her again.

"Will you marry me, Bella?" I whispered, my heart beating out of my chest.

….

**Bella's POV**

"Will you marry me, Bella?" he asked again, his eyes filled with the same love and sincerity that I saw in the park, only this time with a bit more lust.

Silly boy, I almost said, smiling as I unthreaded our fingers and held his face. I never felt so sure in my life.

"Yes," I whispered, "I will marry you, my Edward."

His eyes gleamed, filled with so much wonderment and love as he kissed me, leaving me breathless as his arms wrapped around me. We were holding each other so tightly, it felt almost possible to just merge into one. When he broke the kiss, we panted together and his forehead rested on mine, our eyes never leaving each other.

He took my one hand in his, kissing the back of my palm before it rested on my side. "Hold on to me, Bella."

My other arm wrapped around his back as I nodded. "I will."

I felt his head at my entrance as he slowly pushed himself in.

"Oh God…" I whispered when it started to get a little uncomfortable. I broke our gaze and winced. Edward stopped abruptly.

"Bella," he whispered in an almost strained voice. I stared at him once again, his eyes gentle, but fierce at the same time. "Eyes on me, baby, …" I breathed in and out slowly before nodding and obeying.

"Okay."

I felt him push a little further in, and I reveled at the alien feeling of something so large inside of me. Our breathing grew more labored, but I didn't stray my gaze away from him. It was like we were speaking through our eyes, and I never felt so connected to him as I did in that moment.

It started to hurt all the more, like something was ripping inside of me. I hissed at the sensation and Edward saw my pain. He pulled out and I breathed, willing my heart to slow down.

Our gaze did not break. One look, and he was inside me again, pushing further than the last time and I gasped. Oh God… what if he didn't fit? He was big. I've had him in my mouth during the past couple of months. I knew he was big.

Edward grunted above me and I started to see the sweat in his forehead. I closed my eyes for a short while as he pulled out again. He tried again, pushing further, and for heaven's sake, why did it hurt so much. Edward shivered above me; his body tense and his face carrying a strained expression. I saw it in his eyes. He was fighting temptation. His grip on my hand never felt stronger.

My heart melted. How can he be so perfect.

He blinked, noticing my change in expression. I smiled at him and willed my entire body to relax. "Make it fast…" I uttered.

"What?"

"Make it fast," I repeated, holding him closer with my arm around his back. "Go, I want you to."

He stared at me, uncertain. "But, Bell-" I stopped him with a kiss.

"No… no buts." I tilted my hips up to give him the message. He gasped.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella." His face marred a frown.

I chuckled. "It will hurt one way or another, Edward." I touched his face. "So just make it fast. I trust you."

He looked unsettled for a second before his eyes filled with determination. He kissed me…deeply. His tongue ravenous against mine as I returned the kiss. It went on for a long time, until…

"Aaaah!" I gasped, feeling the tear of something within me and the length of him inside me… completely.

He distracted me.

Edward groaned above me, holding both my hands above my head. "Oh…fuck." He grunted, resting his head against mine once again. He was fighting not to move. "Bella, you feel… so good." He breathed in and out as I panted beneath him. "God…"

I opened my eyes to him. I never felt so full in my life… so complete with him inside me. "Oh Edward…" we panted between kisses, and he waited until I nodded for him to move.

I couldn't help but moan as he moved out and in. It hurt, but a little less right now, which was strange. He moved a couple of more times above me, grunting and groaning as if he was running a marathon. I was the same beneath him.

"Eyes on me," he reminded me, and I went back to his gaze, "don't look away."

He was breathing hard, his thrusting turning into a constant rhythm. Slowly, I started to feel something more. Something good.

He saw it. He felt it. And started moving faster. The sensation was building, and dear God, it was getting to feel so good. He released one of the hands above me and reached down to touch my clit. I whimpered as he rubbed it, moving his skilled fingers in circles just how I liked it.

It was reaching higher and my breathing grew faster.

I shivered underneath his gaze. He felt it. He took that as his cue. He lifted me upright so I straddled his hips. His cock going deeper within me than I thought possible. We both moaned at the new position and I held on to him for support. Surprised by the sudden sensation, he dropped me on the bed once again and my legs wrapped firmly around him. The muscles on his neck were strained and his face was pleading.

He grunted and pounded into me so fast, it caught me off guard. His fingers playing with my clit until I shivered and moaned. "Oh god… Edward…"

"Bella," his eyes filled with love, "I love you."

One movement of his hips and I came undone, screaming his name. "Edward!"

"Good god!" I felt him come inside of me as I quaked with desire. A couple of more thrusts from his hips and I suddenly came a second time. I cried out.

I thrust my head back and heard him curse once before wrapping me tightly in his arms. I whimpered, feeling sated and spent in his arms, feeling him kiss my cheeks, my eyelids, my lips… everything. When I finally opened my eyes, his was the first thing I saw. He was smiling, and I couldn't help but do it in return.

My finger traced his jaw. "I love you too, Edward Cullen."

He smiled and moved his lips to my neck. "That was…," he sighed, "God…"

I moaned, "tell me about it." We chuckled. We didn't even have the words. It felt so perfect. The love we had for one another, I didn't think it could grow stronger than it already was. Clearly I was wrong.

We lay there for a few minutes, quiet and unmoving. The only sound there was was of the beat of our hearts and the breath from our lips.

He looked at me tenderly. "Are you alright?"

I chuckled at the irony. "I'm perfect, Edward." He kissed me once.

"Good." I could tell he didn't want to, but eventually he had to slip out, and when he did, I never felt so empty in my life.

And sore.

I heard him chuckle as he moved the hair away from my face and kissed my temple. "Be right back."

The bed turned cold when he left, but he returned right away, holding a washcloth in his hands. I reached out to take it from him, but he held it away. He had other ideas. He stroked the inside of my thighs with the damp cloth, wiping away the trace of blood and I felt my skin grow warmer.

Damn blush.

He chuckled when he noticed.

A minute later, we snuggled under the blanket, still naked and sated. My fingers traced the contours of his chest and his stroked down my bare back. We couldn't even get the silly grins off our faces.

"So," he started.

"So?" I replied.

"Should I start introducing you as my fiancé now?" His voice emitted glee.

I smiled widely. How could I forget? "I don't know, _fiancé_." I teased. He seemed pleased. "That probably depends on our parents."

"Oh, well," he shrugged, "it's not like they wont be expecting it."

"What do you mean?"

He gave me his lop-sided grin and leaned up on his elbow. "I already asked your father for your hand in marriage, you know."

Now that caught my attention. "What?"

"Yes. And your engagement ring is safely tucked in my sock drawer when I asked it from Mom last month."

I blinked. Was he being funny? "Are you mocking me."

He stared at me, then laughed out a second later. "Damn, now that takes me back…"

"Edward," I insisted, rising on my elbows.

He laughed. "I'm serious, Bella." It's true. He was. I could see it in his face.

"Wha- when?" I was flabbergasted.

He sighed and brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "I asked Charlie right after Christmas, and I asked for Mom's ring right after New Year's." My eyes widened in surprise. He looked at me tenderly. "I didn't want to waste another moment with you, Bella. Granted, I didn't really plan to propose to you tonight, but," he laughed, "I guess I couldn't wait." I smiled at how boyish he was looking. "I hope you'll forgive me for not making it romantic. I had this plan in my hea-" I silenced him with a kiss.

When I pulled back, his eyes filled with want. "It was perfect, Edward. I couldn't think of anything more romantic."

He smiled and pulled me for another kiss. We couldn't get enough. A moment later, Edward found his away on top of me again. I felt his hard length pressing against my thigh. I smiled.

"Are you ready for me?"

I held him closer. "Always."

When he entered me, there was no pain. I came harder than ever and we fell at each others arms, gripping to dear life. He whispered words of love and I returned with equal affection.

There was a time in my younger days when I dreamed of this moment non-stop.

Of my best friend, Edward telling me he loved me…

Making love to me…

And asking me to marry him…

Never did I think it'd come so soon though.

I knew we would be apart soon.

Life works that way. It challenges you. Trying to see if you could make it through all the hurdles it would throw.

I lost five months of my life, but I came back.

Edward suffered for five months, but never gave up.

Our dreams would drift us apart, but we knew we would find our way back.

We weren't worried.

We knew we would make it.

When I woke up that morning, it wasn't because of the sunshine, the alarm clock, or the birds chirping outside my window.

It was because of my perfect best friend, soul mate, and fiancé, Edward whispering in my ear, "Wake up, my love…"

And if that wasn't the best way to wake up, I didn't know what was.

...

* * *

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

**I can't believe I finally finished this story!**

**I know I lost a lot of readers along the way because of my ridiculous updating schedule, haha! But to those who stuck with me… THANK YOU SO MUCH!**

**I'm planning on another story soon, so stay posted! This one is a little MusicEdward and BakerBella! So I'm a little excited.**

**By the way, this isn't exactly over… I have an Epilogue (that I have yet to write), and a couple of outtakes in store! So I'm not done yet!**

**Once again, THANK YOU for supporting me through this. I had a blast writing this story. Even though it was mushy as hell. But hey, who doesn't love a little childhood looove?**

**Godspeed! **


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